off - limits (preview)
synopsis: hwang hyunjin was multiple things to you: incredible. god-like. everything. but most of all, he was off-limits. that is, until, you both are forced to share a room at a beach getaway. sounds perfectly romantic, right? except for your fear of the ocean and his recent break-up.
pairing: non-idol!hyunjin x fem!reader
genre: best friends brother trope, one room trope, angst, fluff
warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of death, nightmares, graphic description of nearly drowning (more warnings will be added to the main fic)
word count (preview): 968 words
release date: 03/05/24
a/n: finally! my first over 10k word fic lol. this was requested to me by @scarlet789 and i immediately started working on it. you can send in an ask or reply below if you wish to be added to the taglist for this fic, coming out nest friday!
preview down below
"Hmm," Hyunjin hummed in contemplation to something you had said, "You know, I always liked your company more then Hyun-jee's. Don't tell her though." He had mischievous look in his eyes and a smirk on his lips, eliciting a laugh from within you and bringing back a memory you had forgotten.
You were still slightly awed by the fact that the Hwang Hyun-jee invited you to spend summer with her. At a ski lodge. A fricking ski lodge! The shocking revelation that you could be considered cool enough to hang out with her and her brother were the thoughts in your head as you stared at the copy of Emma in your hands, pretending to read the text.
Beside you, you could hear the steady scratching of pencil against paper, interrupted only by the symphony of an eraser rubbing against the sheet. This little orchestra playing next to you was evidence of Hyunjin's existence, an art in itself if anyone asked you.
"You should teach me French," he asks you out of the blue, "For when if leave to go to Paris."
You look at him inquisitively. He told you that he got accepted into art school in Paris a few days ago. You did feel sad about the fact that he was going, but deep down you knew very well that practically, after this summer your interactions with Hyunjin would be few and far in between.
"You have Hyun-jee, she can teach you. If, that is, you can put up with her," you retort teasingly.
Hyunjin gives you a sly smirk, "That's exactly why I was asking you. I think I'll like your style of teaching better. And so, I want you to please, please, please teach me French."
You had no idea where this sudden newfound confidence to flirt with Hyunjin had bloomed within you but, oh well, you only live once. "Do you want me teaching you, or just me in general?"
"Ah," he said shaking his head regretfully with a smile, "Even though you have only known me for a few weeks, you already know me too well."
Butterflies ignite in your stomach, although you're pretty sure he was just playing along with you. You wonder what he's sketching, his bottom lip caught between his teeth and his eyes set in concentration. Even though you have a feeling it isn't, you sincerely hope it's you.
You don't know that your hopeful assumption was true.
A tightening in you chest starts to grow when the topic shifts to love. Earlier, talking to Hyunjin about love used to come as easy walking on your two feet. Now, it just hurts. He asked you if you were seeing someone. You promptly replied in the negative. You asked him if he was seeing someone. He reflected your answer back onto you.
But what did it really mean? You were always going to be bound in this life by that unspoken oath you made to Hyun-jee all those years ago. It wasn't even about love anymore, it was about not breaking another person's trust, a person who you held closer to your heart than most of your family.
You started thinking though. What was the point of hiding your feelings, old or not, from Hyunjin any longer? It wasn't like you could act on it, but you may as well have told him. Maybe then a huge weight from your chest would be released and you wouldn't be shackled by commitments, things you felt you owed to both of them.
"I don't think you know this but," your expression suddenly changed, "I used to have the biggest crush on you that summer."
"Used to?" At this point, Hyunjin is sitting up straight, eyeing you curiously. You roll your eyes and give him a playful slap on his arm. His expression, however, turns into one of regret. You begin to feel remorseful about telling him, paranoia settling in and molding itself into the fabric of who you were.
"That's a shame," he says quietly.
The air changes, charged with something you can't quite place. Hyunjin hols eye contact with you, unsaid words coursing through them. You never really believed in the phrase 'the eye is the window to the soul', but right now, you were terrified of whatever the hell your eyes were revealing to him right now. Hyunjin then proceeds to utter something, something so capable of infusing you with poisoned hope, that it takes your breath away.
"I think I would have loved loving you."
Time has stopped. Feelings of desperation, annihilation and most importantly, temptation, cascade in a whirlpool inside you. It had been years. This was wrong. This was the universe dangling temptation in front of you, urging you to just take a bite. Rebelliously, you wondered, what if you were selfish for one? Why were you feeling this way now?
"I think I would have loved being loved by you," you choke out. Hyunjin's hand laces through yours and gives it a little squeeze in response.
That is when it dawns on you that Hyunjin is as confined in this matter as you, if not more. Hyun-jee is his sister for God's sake; whatever guilt you felt in wanting him, he must have felt tenfold in wanting you. You know exactly what the little squeeze he gave you signifies: It will pass. If it cannot be, it will cease.
And you know it's true because you and Hyunjin can never be 'us' or 'we' as long as you were present in this reality. You wished there was a universe somewhere, a parallel reality when Hyunjin and you were considered of one breath because to breath you would need him like oxygen.
Judging by his expression, he must have been drifting in thought about that too.
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hello!!! :)
I wanted to ask if you'll be interested in doing a birthday hc for the sisters or a story on each because even though the girls can't leave or have friends I would think Alcina still gives them a birthday where they get privileges and gifts.
I think it would be so cute of what the other sisters get for each other and what they do with it!
How you have a good day!! And as always injoy
Hi, hon :)! Absolutely, some HCs for their bday!🙌 A great day to everyone
Masterlists
Having been reborn mere hours apart, their birthdays are originally linked together
The 12th of April, every year, their birthday
And while all three girls loved each other dearly, Alcina and they themselves could tell; they were getting more and more tired of a shared birthday each year
By their twentieth birthday, it was Daniela who finally spoke up, equipped with by then already well trained, wet puppy eyes and her sisters standing behind her, trying to copy the look
Alcina nearly melted at the sight
“Mama, can we have a different birthday?”
At first, she didn’t understand. How could they dislike their birthday?
Did she not make it special enough for them?
Was it the restrictions? She knew of the yearnings her daughters had, to see the outside, to leave the castle grounds to explore a little, always promising they’d be back on time
Their wish was never granted. Was this the reason for that?
Apparently not
Instead, it was sharing their birthday
Alcina smiled warmly at them as she heard this, and with this large smile, easily scooped the three women in her large arms
As kisses were pressed all over their faces and they squealed and giggled loudly, the mother of three easily agreed and approved of their question
Of course, each of her precious daughters shall get a day dedicated to her. Only her birthday, then
Bela
While tempted to choose another date, she decided to stick with the original
The 12th of April
Her birthday, and only hers, now
While disliking the sharing aspect, she now loves her birthdays and secretly looks forward to them
Usually, she will act like she isn’t bothered by her birthday coming up
Secretly, her eyes scan her family members for any change in their behaviour. Do they know it’s her birthday soon?
Of course, they never forget. Not once
Unlike her sisters, Bela doesn’t mind the loneliness that can creep up on one in the castle. She doesn’t mind
In fact, she couldn’t care less. She has her family, and those are all that matter to her
She isn’t sorry for her lack of friends, neither on her birthday, nor any other day. Her sisters are her friends, as annoying as they can be
However, she does appreciate being able to get out on her birthday
Often, her birthday starts out by waking up curled into Alcina, having been granted to sleep in her bed throughout the night
All too eager to curl up and bask in her mother’s love and warmth, her birthday signals one of the only times Bela will sleep in a little
Breakfast is always her favourite, a rich palette of foods from the outside, some sweet, some bitter, some salty. She loves to try them all
After, she is bathed in rich oils and dressed in a beautiful, red dress. Again, one of the few times she is not wearing her usual attire
Often, her day then starts out by a stroll through the gardens with Alcina
It is worth mentioning, the mother of three always makes sure she is free on her girls’ birthdays, always
In the garden, she gets to bask in the sun and drag her bare fingertips over the many soft flowers blooming already
She sits at the gazebo, her head in her mother’s lap, her hair played with, her golden eyes closed as she is read to
Each year from the same type of books. Greek mythology
Bela enjoys the time spent together immensely, and can’t help but giggle when, always, eventually they are found by her sisters
Being tackled and wrestled with, she is always pulled into Daniela’s arms, her face peppered with kisses while Cassandra laughs at her pitiful whines and scolding
“Happy birthday, Bela!”, Daniela is always ecstatic to announce, her arms tight around her older sister
“You’re even older now”, she occasionally adds, to which Bela usually only rolls her eyes
Now, each year it is planned to save the gift giving until nightttime. And each year, too excited and impatient, her sisters present her with theirs in the gardens in the gazebo already
Daniela’s is often very well thought out
A book perfectly suiting her sister’s tastes, perfume, prey caught by her, jewellery, or even something self-made
This year, Bela beams as she sees the fairytale book, written in latin and German, English and Spanish, Romanian and French, containing all Grimm tales and thoughts
The perfect gift to promise not only sleepless nights caused by the hyper-fixation this would cause, but also time with her youngest sister
She smiles softly, her mind already painting the scene of Daniela tucked into her side in her bed, her eyes small and heavy from sleep, lips parting to ask her sister to read but a few more pages
And Bela? She always gives in, her fingertip stroking along her sister’s pink button nose, her voice steady as she first reads, then translates and reads aloud
It’s one of her favourite ways to spend time with her youngest sister
Then, Cassandra steps forward, her dress red in what some might believe to be dried blood
Bela? She knows better, and feels a large smile spread on her lips at the realisation. No, not blood. Paint. Her sister had been painting
And even as Daniela just scoffs when Cassandra throws a dead maid, beautiful, no doubt, to Bela, the eldest knows her true gift lies hidden in her room
Knowing of her sister’s wish to keep this hobby a secret, she merely shoots her a wide and loving smile, enough for the brunette to know; she understood, and is thankful
Cassandra’s eyes flicker slightly, then an equally wide grin appears on her face
She knows; her sister will love her gift, she always does!
And that she does again this year, by far later at the day, when she discovers the painting of the unruly sea and an underwater forest hidden within
Beautiful…just as she had described it dreamily to her sister mere weeks ago
Alcina smiles at the scent in front of her, her heart aching lovingly at the clear happiness visible on her daughters’ faces
The rest of the day is spent doing what Bela enjoys best
Sometimes, this is hunting, sometimes, this means playing games with her sisters and mother, sometimes it means reading together
At night, only, is when she receives her last gift
With her sisters back in their rooms and the mood having quieted down, Bela feels almost giddy to see her present
She is sat on Alcina’s spacious lap, the stuffed animal left by Daniela held in her hand
Both of them laugh lightly at the little giraffe staring up at them. In moments like this, Bela feels immense happiness and safety. Only in her mother’s embrace, where all is safe and comfortable, where no harm can reach her. No cold, no man-things, not her own thoughts
Her gift is, at last, presented to her. A key, small and unassuming looking. Bela tilts her head
When Alcina rises and begins to walk, she is quick to swarm after her
She finds- the key unlocks a door close to her bedroom, just as unassuming looking as the key. She smiles widely in anticipation: this usually means she is receiving something her sisters don’t have, or something her sisters would like to have
And right she is, for her golden eyes widen when the door opens and the room is revealed to her
“Mother?”, she asks, almost in disbelief. With a gentle hand pushing at her shoulder blade, Bela takes a step inside
The room is decorated with a desk and a comfortable chair, a sofa, two bookshelves, and: a white canvas on the wall, set up for the movie projector. Next to it, a small desk and shelf labeled “film rolls”
She breathes shakily as her fingertips trail over it
When she first sleepily told her mother of her desire to see the movies shown at Donna’s for herself, to see nature and make her own movies containing her knowledge, she thought it might be labeled silly
Yet; it seems her wish was taken more serious than even Bela dared to take it
With a sob, she hugs herself to her mother’s hip, her cool skin pressed into the soft fabric of her dress
“Happy Birthday, my little fly”
Cassandra
Being the unhappiest of the trio with a shared birthday, she was eager to choose her own date
Now, her first thought was in December. A winter month! How badass!
However…a quick glance and note from Bela had her mind; then she couldn’t go outside at all on her birthday..
Perhaps summer it would have to be, then
And so she settled on the 16th of June instead. Warm, perfect for hunting, the season in which most maidens attempt to escape
Now, Cassandra is oddly shy about her birthday
She wants it to be a special day. She just doesn’t want people to know this
Especially on her birthday, though, she tends to feel trapped. She wants out, badly, just for a little bit
She wants to see the world, on her birthday more than ever. Wouldn’t this be a wonderful gift?
She asks for it every year, yet it is never granted to her, and only denied with a sad sigh and a kiss to her forehead
She usually talks to her “friends”, the few prisoners left alive. Rambling as she brings the blades and whips down on them over and over again, ignoring their cries and screams as she keeps talking
They rarely survive, and she doesn’t attempt to keep them alive, either
They merely serve the purpose of being made to listen to her ramble, and to keep her entertained
As she awakens on her birthday this year, uncharacteristically early, she immediately swarms out of bed
Still in her pyjamas, she swarms into Alcina’s bed, on top of the woman, and shakes her as hard as she can
“Mother! Mother! Mother, it’s my birthday! Mama!”
When golden eyes open at last, Cassandra at last slides down her body and onto the soft mattress again, her hands stopping from shaking her
“It’s my birthday, Mother”, she announces, as if the older woman truly needed a reminder
And after a few minutes of orienting herself, Alcina does blink away sleep and shoots her middle child a loving smile “Yes, my fierce little huntress, I will get ready”
At this, Cassandra grins. She returns to her room to get dressed, her flies buzzing excitedly
Each year her birthday begins by going out to hunt with her Mother. Each year they hunt for a varcaloc, the largest predator found near the village
She swarms as fast as she can, her sickle and daggers swinging wildly, her teeth bared, her mother close behind her
Still, the first drop of blood is hers to cause, and as soon as her sickle rips through fur and flesh, she laughs and hears claws unseathe
Really, she loves watching her mother hunt! Such elegance, such brutality, such speed and strength!
Even Alcina knows in every second of this activity, Cassandra is staring, and she is her role model, in such moments more than ever
Each year, the beast is slain, and this year is no different
Yet, their trip to the forest does not end. With their prey dropped off at the castle again, Alcina feels fingers grab her wrist tightly and tug
“Come on, Mama! Hurry!”
Now comes the truly exciting part!
Cassandra swarms and runs fast, her dress getting caught a few times as she speeds through the forest
Then, she stops abruptly. Golden eyes widen and water for a moment
She feels so much emotion all at once, here, at the border of the hunting grounds
She knows not to pass them without permission, ever. And she never does
Yet, her birthday is different
With a graceful step, Alcina walks forwards, stepping past the invisible line in Cassandra’s head
Gently, she cups her daughter’s cheek and takes her hand. Then, she too, takes a step forwards
Immediately, she laughs, loud and cheerful
She knows not to stray away, not to hide, not to play around where Mother can’t see or reach her. But this- is her own little world of freedom
She swarms up and down, feels the ground and smells the air as though it was any different from the one within the hunting grounds
Alcina watches, a soft smile on her lips, but pain in her heart. She sees, each year as she grants her daughter this, how badly her little fly craves this freedom. And yet, with hunters and poachers, outsiders and soldiers- and not to mention the unpredictable cold and environment- about, she cannot allow it
She knows this, both of them do. Cassandra no longer blames her mother for this choice, but treasures the times she is allowed outside, even if it is under supervision
After some minutes, she bends to pick up a rock, then nods to Alcina. They know, it’s time to go again already, even as Cassandra yearns to stay here with her mother
The rest of the day is spent playing with her sisters, chasing Daniela through the castle until she squeals and shrieks from the base fear of being caught, only to roll about and giggle when she eventually is
She often receives her younger sister’s present in the form of a new weapon or belt, and is always eager to try it out right away
Naturally, Daniela follows her, so that the majority of the day is easily spent hunting together
Bela’s present is given in the privacy of her room, as Cassandra’s lips pull to a shy, but large smile when her sister presents her with new art supplies
“Do you want to..stay for a bit?”
Bela never refuses this special offer, and watches with great interest as her sister rambles on about what supplies are used for and best for what
As the only one in the family aware of her painting hobby, Cassandra loves sharing her work with her older sister
She is always rewarded with showers of praise that have her headbutt the woman’s cheek or neck and have her flies buzz loudly
One birthday, she asks Bela for a favour that has her cheeks burn from embarrassment before her words can even get out. Thankfully, her sister understands
With a blindfold covering golden eyes, Cassandra’s embarrassment fades a little
She is concentrated as she fixes her sister’s dark blue dress, adjusting parts that she wanted to stick out, fixing her hair and gently applying the deep red lipstick
Then, she begins her work. A sketch, at first, she works concentrated
Never would she admit her sister is her muse, the only one to support and know of her hobby, the one she trusts fully, the one to inspire her to keep going with her art and the one to praise her pieces after
Cassandra smiles warmly as she watches her sister sit, perfectly still as asked, completely trusting
Another reminder to her, with a tug of her heart, why she loves her family to very much
And yet, a single gift remains
Cassandra watches curiously as, late at night, Alcina at last sits down on her bed, a box in her hand
“Happy Birthday, my curious little fly”
Eager, she all but rips the box to shreds to get to what is inside
Alcina laughs, having added extra layers and paper wrapping the gift
She knows, after all, how her little huntress enjoys tearing it apart to access what reward lies within
And what a reward indeed
At first, Cassandra is unsure what it is. A book? She pulls a grimace that makes her mother laugh and tap her chin. With a giggle, she fixes her face again and instead stares up at the older woman in confusion
“Open it, mica musca”
Again, she eagerly obeys, yet-
Cassandra gasps when she sees the content, her golden eyes widening, her flies buzzing loud as she immediately swarms onto Alcina’s lap and nearly shoves the album into her Mother’s face
“Mother! Look! What’s that?!”
The photo album shows a photograph of pyramids. Cassandra lowers the album again to get a good look again
And Alcina? She explains, her voice steady, her fingers gently scratching against Cassandra’s scalp. Loud buzzing and purr-like sounds were her reward
Amazed, more questions follow
Easily, the next hours and evenings are spent together, with Cassandra asking more and more and Alcina openly talking about all that is to see in the many photographs in the album
Each morning, she finds it tucked close to her daughter’s chest, her little piece of freedom, her little glimpse of the world outside the village
Daniela
Getting to choose her own birthday had her feel giddy with excitement. She immediately came up with more and more and more and more
Many dates, some symbolic, some merely on the list because they sound nice
She too, originally went for a winter month. After noticing her older sister change it up, naturally, she copied her
In the end, she settles for the 1st of July
She loves her birthday though, and always has. Even when she still shared it with her sisters
At first, she thought she was bothered by that particular fact
Yet, now she is no longer sharing it with them, she feels…lonely, almost
What a lonely day it has become to her, even as she still gets to spend it with her family
And yet, she yearns to have a lover or friends to spend it with. Such things seem denied to her, though, for the staff just won’t last
Often, she’d bed someone on her birthday, desperate for intimacy and love
Always, she’d kill them before the clock struck midnight
They were never real, never looked at her with real love in their eyes, never looked at her with real care
Sometimes, with desire. Desire that almost made her feel seen. They congratulated her on her birthday, and yet..they had no idea how old she even
Still, each year, she tries her best not to let loneliness affect her
Feeling overly clingy on her birthday, Daniela is often found starting her day in the beds of her sisters. Whether when snatching Bela’s blankets and cuddling into her side, or seeing how many knives she can balance on top of Cassandra until she’d wake up, one thing is clear:
Daniela doesn’t want to be alone on her birthday
She is with her sisters until they awaken, not having the heart to send their younger sister off and kick her out of their room on this special day to her
She giggles loudly as she is chased down to the dining hall for breakfast, her flies buzzing, her lips pulled into a grin
Immediately, her arms wrap around Alcina when she sees her. She sticks her tongue out at her sisters, signalling she was once again the fastest to get to their mother
The breakfast table is full of almost overly sweet things from all around the world. A special privilege reserved for birthdays only
And she enjoys it, digging in eagerly, eating blood-covered candy and snatching some more from Cassandra’s plate when she is busy flirting with the help
Often, she climbs on the lap of whoever is closest to her, then, her big, golden eyes on display as she asks to receive her presents early already
How could they deny her, really?
And so, she is grinning and has her flies buzzing excitedly when she receives what she wants
This year, she is especially excited. She knows, something big will be her present this year, by the way her family would often smile or smirk the past months, as if they knew something she did not
Surely, it had to be a surprise!
And it is, certainly
Bela is the first to present her gift to her sister, a large box wrapped in bright red wrapping paper
Daniela giggles in joy, her sharp, claw-like nails already digging into the paper. Eagerly, she shreds the box, only to find another, also wrapped, within
Again, she laughs happily. More to unpack?! She’s over the moon!
And then? Another smaller one in that one! Two layers of wrapping paper!
And another!
Then, at last, she discovers her present:
Four books; one romance, one a fantasy-romance, another a crime-romance book and another a collection of poems! Daniela’s smile widens with each book she discovers
Then, a small stuffed animal. A brown rabbit, with pink ears
She gasps at the sight and the softness of its fur, and immediately the stuffed animal is sat on her lap
And lastly, a small bottle of perfume
She smiles, recognizing the scent
It’s the smell clinging to her eldest sister, the perfume Daniela would always steal. Clearly, she was not being as subtle as she thought she was
With a tight hug and bright smile, she thanks her sister. Then, a loud whine is brought from her lips as she feels Cassandra’s hand rubbing against the top of her head
“Awhh! Getting older eh? You’ll always be our baby sister, don’t worry”, she coos in what was meant to be a teasing and mocking tone
Alas, it brings a large grin to Daniela’s face nonetheless
Her gift? A blade, the handle bound in leather, the blade and tip sharp. A series of small, yellow gemstones embedded in the bottom of the handle
She gasps again, happily. She recognizes this one as belonging to her sister, too!
Cassandra’s dagger, the one used to toy with and injure prey, shiny in the sun, glistening at night!
She immediately grips it tightly and grins at her sister. She is now a great huntress, too!
Again, she hugs her sister tightly, giggling as she steals another treat off her plate when she isn’t looking
And lastly, she turns her head to her mother at the head of the table, her eyes wide and another giggle falling from her hips when the woman stands up
Eagerly, she swarms around her as she walks. She laughs loudly as her and Cassandra start chasing each other, with Bela and Alcina serving as fun obstacles or safe spots, depending on whether or not she is losing their chase
Going outside, she grips her new dagger a little tighter. She hopes, some poor soul is outside when they aren’t supposed to be
She itches to try her new weapon out!
Alas, it seems she must wait until nightttime
Still, something large catches her attention in the distance. An addition to the castle?
After moments, she no longer wants to wait for her family to catch up. She swarms ahead, effortlessly proving her status as the fastest of the four yet again
Then, she nearly shrieks in excitement as she comes face to face with three horses, hay, riding equipment and much more
Horses?!
A dream!
Having asked for horses and being taught to ride one since early in her reborn life, yet never receiving one, Daniela has almost given up hope
Almost
After all, it was always either the Lycans being too aggressive, her sister being too aggressive, the temperatures, or the maidens attempting to escape that got in the way
She stretches out her hand gently, smiling when the first horse bumps its head against her palm
The black soft, short fur is warm underneath her fingers, and as dark brown eyes look back into hers, she smiles again
“Are you happy, my dove?”, Alcina asks, though, she really just wanted to see the youngest’s lips stretch into a large grin yet again
Daniela nods fast, her hand pulling back only when she throws her arms around her mother “Yes, mama!”, she confirms
Already she thinks of the freedom the animals offer her, and the freedom the mere thought of them have always offered her
She spends the rest of the morning and afternoon at the stables, petting and kissing the animals’ heads and brushing their fur gently
She comes up with names quickly, though is sure to take her time considering them
For the white horse, spots, referencing to the small, black spots scattered across the animal’s neck and back
For the light brown one, Maximus, named after a horse in one of her favorite books
And lastly, the black one, that never fails to have her feel as though there is a connection
This one, she decides, will bear the name Apollo
At night, this night, things are better for once. She feels less lonely, even as she can’t share her bed with a lover
Instead, she is cuddled into Bela’s waist, Cassandra’s hand tangled in her hair and nails scratching along her scalp gently
Her arm rests across Alcina’s thigh, and light purr-like noises are dragged from the youngest as her arm is stroked and scratched lightly
With Bela’s voice filling the empty room as she reads from one of the newest books, Daniela is at last, for once, able to fall asleep peacefully on her birthday
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If you are not - Chris Sturniolo
Summary: you had been separated for weeks, and you were both suffering, and you wanted each other, until all this suffering ended when you had the chance to meet again once again.
Warnings: angst, comfort, kisses, mention of unrequited love, cute
Author's notes: This is my work, I do not authorize any plagiarism, copying or “inspiration”. English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors. This is part 2 of Friends
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
Since that night, Chris has been losing his mind, and you've been trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing.
You two were lost in a maze of emotions, Chris was missing you, and he was going crazy.
And you were wondering what was wrong with you when you left.
This loneliness was making you cold.
Chris tried not to let it get him down, going out to parties, talking and hooking up with girls.
For others, you had become just another person.
But Chris knew better.
He was always, even though he knew it was wrong, comparing other girls to you.
They weren't pretty like you.
They weren't fun like you.
They weren't as nice as you, they didn't get along as well with his brothers as you did, they didn't stay in his head like you did, they didn't have your smile, the sparkle in your eyes, the soft hair like yours, the features of your face like yours.
They weren't you.
Chris was now with his friends and brothers, all on the couch watching a movie while drops of water fell to the ground and thunder accompanied the rain.
You were always afraid of storms, always finding comfort in Chris's arms, his soft voice in your ear, and the stupid jokes that made you laugh.
But now you weren't in his arms, and Chris began to feel afraid of the storm, the terrifying sounds the thunder made.
Looking out the window, watching the rain fall, he realized that, again, he was thinking about you.
But he couldn't be surprised by it.
He was obsessed with you.
What had you done with him?
And he felt it again, that poison inside him.
Longing. He missed you.
And you? You were lying in your bed, with a blanket over your body to keep you warm, but you still felt cold.
You were cold, alone, and scared to sleep.
Because whenever you slept, you remembered those eyes.
Those damn eyes.
Whenever you slept, it felt like you went back in time, always having the same dream.
First, you saw his eyes.
He was there, in front of you, smiling at you, you were holding hands, and soon you hugged each other, your lips touched and your hand went to his hair.
Until you woke up and realized it was all a dream.
Just a dream.
And now, you were scared to sleep.
You knew that in your thoughts, he would remain, at all times you would remember the sparkle in those eyes.
You closed your eyes and couldn't forget him.
Damn gods.
You thought about him, even when you were with someone.
Attractive, fun men, they knew how to talk to you, they made you laugh.
But the story was always the same.
At some point or another, you would start comparing that man to Chris.
You always thought about him.
Even though you were with someone, you thought.
It wasn't him.
You were losing your mind, going completely crazy, feeling different emotions at the same time.
Until one day, destiny brought you together again.
And finally you realized.
It was inevitable.
The destiny had already been written.
It was supposed to be you and Chris.
It all happened when Nick asked you to participate in a new video.
And you said yes.
You knew you should say no.
But everything was a disaster, and you just wanted to see him.
Find out how he is.
And you couldn't wait any longer, and now you were 5 minutes away from loving him again.
One last time.
You parked your car in front of their house but stayed in the car.
His hands shook as they gripped the steering wheel tightly.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, finally getting out of the car and walking towards the front door of the house.
You had been standing in front of the door for more than 5 minutes, trying to find the courage to knock.
Your hand was shaking as you raised it for the tenth time, about to knock on the door.
But you lowered it again, and raised it, and repeated these movements several times.
Until, before you had time to understand what you were doing, you knocked on the door.
After a few seconds it opened, revealing him.
Chris.
He swallowed hard, not believing the ghost in front of him.
You were really there.
When Nick said you were coming for the new video, Chris froze, and thought it was a lie.
But he remembered that his brothers didn't know exactly what had happened between you, so for you to show up at his house was something that could happen.
And there you were, in front of him.
Chris had prepared a speech for you, and now, this speech was going through his mind, he needed to talk to you.
It was simple, he just needed to say it, but it felt like their lips had been glued together.
Even if he tried, they wouldn't open up.
He froze in place.
Until his lips came loose, and he stood there in front of you, opening and closing his mouth.
You were confused.
And he was embarrassed, he was making a fool of himself now, in front of you.
He just closed his lips and eyes tightly, lowering his head.
He stayed in that position for a while, and when a small spark of courage appeared, still with his head down, he whispered.
"I'm sorry" the first words of the speech had been spoken, and now, he just needed to say the rest.
And now, he thought it would be a little easier, he had managed to start, he just needed to finish.
But he couldn't, because he forgot all the words he had prepared as soon as he raised his head and saw your watery eyes.
You didn't want to cry, but as soon as those words escaped his mouth, and you realized the conversation they were going to have, you couldn't help it, you tried to remain firm, but your eyes started to water.
His heart broke when he saw you in that fragile state.
But he needed to continue, even if it was difficult, he needed to, because you had given him permission to talk, you were listening to him, and he wanted, he needed to have you back.
So, he continued, even though he didn't know what he was saying, he continued, transforming all these emotions he felt these last few weeks into words.
"I'm sorry, I.." he closes his eyes.
Now it was his emotions that were trying to surface, his voice broke and he wondered if he could speak.
He needed to speak. Or he would lose you again, and maybe he wouldn't have another chance like this.
He lets out a shaky breath, and continues.
"I'm normally not the type of person to stay up all night thinking about someone, but since that night, I haven't been able to sleep, it's kind of hard to sleep peacefully, when your heart is on the line, the truth is I'm going through hell since you left, because in my head it's always been you, my heart is in your hands, desperate because no one can take it from you, you're on my damn mind and I can't fight it."
You tried to hold back the tears, but at this point you were already sobbing, because you were going through hell too.
You were feeling the same way he felt.
He approaches you, and when you don't back away, he takes your face in his hands.
He takes a deep breath, trying to control his emotions.
At that moment, he was handing you a knife, while you held his heart.
Waiting to see what you would do.
Whether you would throw away the knife, and keep his heart, or whether you would kill him.
"I'm tired of playing with myself, thinking there's someone else, I dated girls, and I tried to write the story my way, but if it's not you, it's a lie."
“Chris” You whisper his name but he stops you.
You were so close now, noses touching, lips millimeters apart.
"I'm sorry for not realizing sooner, for not telling you that I loved you, I'm so sorry." He whispers.
You breathe, calling his name again, and again, and again.
You were a wreck.
"I thought it was some kind of one-sided love, unrequited love." You whisper.
"No honey, I just didn't realize it, but now I see it, I love you."
You let out a small laugh, finding it funny what the lack of communication did to you.
"I love you too Chris."
And with those 4 words, Chris felt his heart beat again, faster than ever.
You still loved him.
Chris felt the air returning to his lungs as he smiled.
You missed that smile.
Of course, you and Chris knew that everything wasn't resolved, you would have to talk more, resolve some other things that hadn't yet been resolved, and explain a lot of things to each other.
But at that moment, you just wanted him to dry your tears and kiss you.
And that's exactly what he did.
He kissed you, but it wasn't like other times, where you were at a party kissing because of sexual desires.
He kissed you because he loved you. And he put all this love he felt for you into that kiss.
And you like it.
You separated, and looked at each other, both eyes reflecting love.
And in that moment, you understood.
That before, no matter how much you loved each other, you still didn't know how to love.
That's why it was necessary for you to separate, so that you could learn.
And you learned.
You holding each other, smiling at each other, your eyes shining with love, it was proof that you had learned how to love each other.
。☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆。
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