#every other show has. it's refreshing to be surrounded by people who are smarter than me for once like genuinely.

[incorrect-slaytheprincess]

being in the slay the princess fandom has taught me why people feel the need to gatekeep pieces of media previously considered to be "niche." not that it's good, but i understand now. i can handle people mischaracterizing all these other characters but if anyone out here did so to any of the slay the princess characters, i might just have to pace around my room and scream for a solid hour or two.

[physalian]

How to Subvert Expectations Without Compromising The Story

Whoo boy, is this a contentious topic with the last few blockbuster franchises. To “subvert expectations” is to do the opposite of whatever your audience expects to happen. Your audience expects the story to go a certain way based on the archetypes and tropes your characters follow, the tone you’ve set for your story, and the level of mature themes that tone allows.

It might mean your long-lost princess doesn’t actually reclaim the throne she’s been fighting for. Or the presumed hero (or any of their straight friends) of the story dies halfway through their arcs. The mentor pegged for death actually survives to the end credits. The villain’s plan actually succeeds, or the heroes fail to deactivate the bomb before it explodes. The “will they/won’t they” is never fulfilled.

Supporters of SE argue the following:

It’s refreshing, novel, new, a fun twist on a classic tale

They like that it’s unpredictable and bold

They’re tired of stories fitting within the same wheel ruts of every other story that came before and like to see creativity thrive

It gives audiences something they didn’t even know they wanted

Haters of SE argue this:

It’s only done for drama at the cost of fulfilling character arcs

It’s a cheap gag that only works once and has zero rewatchability with the same impact

Tropes and archetypes have stood the test of time for a reason - to entertain

Plot holes ensue

When expectations are subverted and the story changes in a more positive light (like a beloved character who doesn’t die when we all think they will), the reaction is not nearly as emotionally charged as when the story changes negatively. Thus, the haters have plenty of evidence of bad examples, but minimize the good ones. Good SE is novel, or a pleasant surprise, or a quaint relief. Bad SE trashes the story and spits on the fans and destroys the legacy of the fandom.

What makes a bad subversion?

Like killing any character for shock value, bad SE takes all of the potential of a good story and gambles it for a string of gasps in the movie theater. It exists only to keep the audience on their toes, or because the writer went out of their way to change the direction of their work when fans figured out the mystery too quickly and now *must* prove all the clever sleuths wrong.

So, say your subversion is making the hero lose a tournament arc when they made it all the way to the final round and the entire story is riding on this victory. They may have stumbled along the way and had some near-misses, but they must win. Not just so the audience cheers, but because this is the direction their arc must take to be at all entertaining and fulfilling.

Then they lose, because it’s *novel* and irreparable consequences are reaped in the aftermath. They lose when, by rights, they were either stronger or smarter or faster than their opponent. They lose when the hand of the author rigs the fight against them and everyone notices.

Sure, it’s not at all what audiences expect, but you, writer, your first responsibility to the people consuming your content is to entertain them. So what purpose does this loss serve this character? How does it impact their arc, the themes that surround them, the message of your story?

Even if mainstream audiences don’t care on the surface about themes and motifs, they still know when a story fumbles. It’s not entertaining anymore, it’s not satisfying. Yes, crap happens in reality, but this is fiction. If I wanted to read about some tragic hero’s bitter and unsatisfying demise, I’d read about any losing side in any war ever in a history book. I picked up a fiction book for catharsis.

On the topic of “gritty fantasy/sci-fi anyone can die and no one is safe” – no author has the guts to roll the dice and kill whoever it lands on. Some characters will always have plot armor. Why? Because you wouldn’t have a story otherwise, you’d just have a bloody, gory, depressing reality TV show with hidden cameras.

What makes a good subversion?

Now. What if this character loses the final round of their tournament, but it’s their own fault? Maybe they get too cocky. Maybe it’s perfectly, tragically in character for them to fall on their own sword. Maybe the audience is already primed with the knowledge that this fight will be close, that there might be foul play involved, but still deny that it will happen because that’s the hero, they won’t lose. Until they do.

Then, it’s not the hand of the author, it’s this character’s flaws finally biting them in the ass. It’s still disappointing, no doubt, but then the audience is less mad at the author and more mad at the dumbass character for letting their ego get to their head.

If you write a character who’s entire goal in life is to win that trophy, or reclaim their throne, or get the girl, and they *don’t* do those things, then the “trophy” had better be the friends they made along the way, that they learned it wasn’t the trophy, it was something *better* and even though they lost, they still won. Even when expectations are shredded, the story still has to say something, otherwise the audience just feels like they wasted their time.

A good subversion does not compromise the soul of the narrative. You might kill a fan favorite character or even the hero of the story, but their impact on the characters they leave behind is felt until the very end. The hero might lose her tournament, but she still walks away with wisdom, maturity, and new friends. Heck, sports movies leave the winner of the big game a toss-up more often than not. Audiences know the game is important, but they know the character they’re following is even more important. Doesn’t matter if the *team* loses the battle, so long as the protagonist wins the Character Development war.

Good SE that should be more popular:

The “Trial of threes” – your hero faces three obstacles and usually botches the first two and succeeds on the third attempt. Subvert it by having them win on the first or second, lose all three, or have a secret fourth

Not killing your gays. Just. Don’t do it. That’ll subvert expectations just fine, won’t it?

Let the villain win

Have your hero’s love interest not actually interested in them because they realize they deserve better / Have the hero realize they don’t want the romantic subplot they thought they did

Have the love triangle become a polycule / have the two warring love interests get with each other instead, or both find someone they don’t have to compete for

Mid-redemption villain backslides at the Worst Moment Possible

Hero doesn’t actually have all the MacGuffins necessary at the Worst Moment Possible

Hero is simply wrong, about anything, about important things, about themselves

The character who knows too much still can’t warn their friends in time, but lives instead with the guilt of their failure

The mentor lives and becomes a bitter rival out to maintain their spot at the top of the charts

Kill the hero, and make the villain Regret Everything

More deadbeat missing parents, not just dead parents

Let the hero live long enough to become the villain

—

Why write a crown prince that never becomes king? What’s the point of his story if all he does is remain exactly who he was on page 1 and learns nothing for his efforts? Why write a rookie racer if he spins out in the infield in the big race and ends his story broken and demoralized in a hospital bed? Why should we, the audience, spend time and emotional investment on a story that goes nowhere and says nothing?

Cinderella always gets a happy ending no matter how many iterations her story gets, because she wouldn’t be Cinerella if she remained an abused orphan with no friends. We like predictability, we like puzzling out where we think the story will go based on the crumbs of evidence we pick up along the way, we like interacting with our fiction and patting ourselves on the back when we’re proven right.

Tragedies exist. There’s seven types of stories and the fall from grace is one of them… but audiences can see a tragedy coming from a mile away. Audiences sign up for a tragedy when they pay for the movie ticket. We know, no matter how much we root for that character to make better choices, that their future is doomed. Tragedy is still cathartic.

What’s not cathartic is being bait-and-switched by a writer who laughs and snaps pictures of our horrified faces just so they can say they proved us wrong. Congratulations? Go ahead and write the rookie broken in the hospital bed. I can’t stop you. Just don’t be shocked when no one wants to watch your misery parade march on by.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️ DMODT- 13 update

Sneaking around the castle, Levi felt young again. All of Marley had been surprised to see him up and about after the tournament, especially Zeke. The man had been propped up during dinner, favouring his left side, while trying to hide his pain. Levi had no such problem. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed, or refreshed. If this was what sex with Eren was like, he could see why the alphas of the court never looked displeased with their omega charges. It was slightly thrilling to have a younger lover, and slightly thrilling to let himself have said lover. It was so completely out of character for him, that even if their "secret" was to get out, no one could possibly believe it. Over the next few days, each time they met in the library, Levi would steal a few moments for himself with Eren. Whether it be brushing the teen's hair back, so he could read over Eren's shoulder, or covering him with his jacket as Eren hadn't worn warm enough clothes, it all made him feel at peace. For a purely sexual relationship, it was tough to remember that... especially when they seemed to be so compatible, now that he'd finally allowed Eren in. It was now the night of the Ball, and Levi was surrounded by young women and men professing their loved. Each hoping for the elevation of status wedding a "royal" would bring, yet none of them prepared for what being a "royal" truly meant. Eren was different though. He showed him respect, but wasn't after money or title. He didn't suck up to him, nor ask for favours, and most importantly, he had no expectations of more than what they had. He'd seen Eren at the opening of the Castle for the event, the brat's magic shining brighter than every other mages, but he'd soon lost sight of him once the sky show was complete. It'd been at least an hour, and Levi couldn't rid his gut of the feeling something was wrong. He couldn't move though. Zeke had once again occupied the kings throne, and was entertaining his own circle of blushing women. While Levi was flittering around the Ball room with his crowd, attempting to find Eren, and attempting to avoid a rather persistent thorn in his side. Somehow, Zeke had met Petra Ral, an accomplished female soldier of the Eldia army, and somehow, Zeke had managed to make her think that Levi had an interest in her. Petra had always been pleasant enough to deal with. Her and the squad she worked with were stationed down as dock security, to the south of the island. They'd been summoned the castle by Erwin to discuss the discrepancies in shipping, and had stayed to compete in the tournament. Unfortunately for Petra, Levi really couldn't be bothered with her. Petra didn't know that he wasn't the crown prince, or that he was now a package deal with Eren. They'd only had sex twice, that day of the tournament, but they'd stolen small kisses in the hall, and Levi's heart had leapt each time. Sidestepping Petra, Levi nearly walked straight into Olou, another member of the dock squad. The man's goblet of wine spilling as Petra pushed him out the way, and grabbed Levi's arm in the process. Could she be anymore obvious. Her touch against his sleeve completely unwanted "Oh no. You didn't get any on you, did you, Erwin?" "No, though I can't say the same about you, Petra" Olou's wine had spilt down the side of Petra's deep green dress. It was barely noticeable, but Petra looked upset "Olou!" "You should have been watching where you were going. You're a soldier and need to conduct yourself as such" Right. Olou was annoying like that. If the man stepped back, and stopped trying to sound like the perfect soldier, he'd be more pleasant to deal with. Not that the man wasn't an exemplary soldier. That's why he was in the dock squad "Petra, why don't you have one of the mages see if they can lift the stain. Olou, why don't you accompany her? I am sorry, but I do need to greet others" "It's fine..." "No, no. I insist" Pulling his black sleeve free from the woman, he brushed it off as he practically ran from her. Women could be scarily persistent. When he saw Hanji, he actually sought her company out in order to save himself from Petra. Reaching Hanji and Moblit, Hanji pushed a drink into his hand as she smiled "You look like you need it" Nodding, Levi drained it. He was so done, and the party had only just begun "You have no idea. Have either of you seen Eren?" "Lose him already?" Levi scowled. Shitty Glasses should know better than that "It's not like that. Zeke is planning something, and Eren has gone missing. I can't go find him, thanks to Zeke" "Oh... No. I can't say I've seen him. Have you, Moblit?" Moblit shook his head "Would you like me to go have a look?" "No. No. Just keep an eye on Zeke's people... I can't help feeling like something..." Levi's sentence trailed off, the alpha turning as he felt Eren's presence. The teen was clutching his robes awkwardly, while looking panicked "Is he ok?" "I don't know..." Eren didn't seem ok. Levi could put his finger on what it was, but it was just... something was off "What do we do?" "Take him to my quarters and have the guards make sure he doesn't leave. Something's not right" "Your quarters?" "Even if I'm not in my room, there are still guards in the hall" "Ok. We'll stay with him" "Thanks. But make sure you don't put yourselves in any danger..." "Pfft. I'm careful as can be" "Says the woman who once blew her own lab up. Moblit, I'm trusting you to keep them both in line" "Whaaa... you're so mean!" Why didn't Hanji get that if Zeke was moving, things could go from bad to worse in a heartbeat?! Pushing between the pair, he angrily snapped "Hanji. This isn't a joke!" * Eren had had an eventful night, and now he was stuck waiting for Levi to return to his room. It'd all started with sky show. He'd been intending to join the crowd in the Ball room, when he'd caught sight of Zeke's men walking the castle halls. Naturally, his curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he'd found himself creeping through the castle until he'd found himself in an area he hadn't been in. Watching the soldier entering the room, the castle had been left understaffed with all the attention being on the Ball. It was only a few moments later, that two trunks were moved out the room. Eren growling to himself over how easily all of this had been. There was a reason guards were supposed to be stationed throughout the castle, and it was to prevent blatant disrespecting this. Whatever they were retrieving had been prepared by someone before time, the soldiers laughing to themselves over how clueless Eldia was. Both trunks were the kind that all the Marley party were using, and the kind stacked near the servant's entry to be packed in the morning, before Zeke's party headed out. Concentrating his magic, Eren tried to get a read on the contents, but he hadn't mastered any of that yet. Walking through the steps as he thought a book would, he came up with nothing... and it was rather frustrating to realise that everything he'd been learning since "bonding" with Levi, came up short. He was trying his hardest. Levi couldn't teach him, the man far too busy, but he supported him the only way he could, by making sure he didn't over do it. He'd been proud to see his skills slowly growing. Each small spell that worked, made him want to rush to Levi to show him. To show him that the faith he'd placed in him wasn't misplaced, and that he really was working hard to be useful around the castle. Following the soldiers carrying the trunk, Eren didn't even think to silence his moves, or to do something about the rustling of his stupid robes. All he was focused on was solving the mystery of what Marley had been up to. He was young and he was stupid. He was one mage, in a part of the castle he didn't know, thinking himself smarter than four trained soldiers with a plan. Losing sight of them as they moved the trunks around the corner, he rushed forward. The blow landing across the face dropped him before he knew what was happening. His magic flaring around him, as he became a human kicking bag to the laughing soldiers. Silently he cried out to Levi, but at the same time prayed the alpha wouldn't come. He didn't want to be the cause of an international incident. He was just a mage, and not someone worth jeopardising hundreds of lives for. At some point he must have passed out, his magic working to heal him while he was unconscious. Angered, he dragged himself off the floor, definitely feeling the throb of still healing wounds, as he pushed himself forward. Marley had made the wrong move thinking he'd take his beating then move on. He wasn't going to let them steal from anything else from Eldia. Evidently the Marley soldiers didn't think Eren would be missed, or would wake any time soon. By the time he reached the trunks, the smell of the alphas had grown faint, but that may have also been because it'd taken far longer than expected to de-lose himself in the never ending passages. There had to be a trick to it all, or no one would ever get anywhere. Finding the trunks, he then had to open them all to find what Marley had attempted to steal, and that sent his anger nearly over the edge. Thrown in with no padding or care, the first trunk contained a fossilised dragon egg, while the second contained a nasty looking sword. He had no idea why Marley wanted both items, but Zeke was going to be in for a nasty surprise when he got home, Eren not even pausing to think as he awkwardly hid the pair in his robes, knowing full well that if Levi or Erwin knew of the items existence, they'd do the right thing and return them to Draecia. He'd fucking suspected dragon items were in the castle. There was too much talk of them in the royal books for there not to have been. Still, he didn't know if they were approved items, which meant seeking Levi out and clearing things with him. Being a magic user, Eren had never really swung a sword around before, but the sword beneath his robes felt as light as a feather, it was just the length that made it awkward. The real bitch was the weight of the dragon's egg. It was only about as big as his head, yet felt like it weighed a horse. If his previous attempts to be stealthy had been clumsy and misguided, he hated to think what people thought as he made his way to the Ball room, trying to stay on the edge of halls and doorways, lest those idiots from Marley figure out he was conscious. Reaching the Ball room, he called out mentally to Levi, praying the man would notice him. His heart leapt the moment he did. He knew things with Levi weren't supposed to go into the realm of feelings, but Levi made him feel better about everything... which lead to a moment of disappointment when Hanji and Moblit started towards him, and Levi walked away. The man was the "prince", of course he couldn't just drop everything and come to him. Escorted by the pair to Levi's quarters, Hanji was pestering to know where he'd been, while Moblit kept apologising, and hovering at his side. Yes, Eren was exhausted, and barely still on his feet, but he didn't want to create a scene with the pair over magical items. Hanji would wish to experiment, and Moblit would pull and Erwin, scolding him in that dad tone that hurt to hear. It was a long and awkward wait for Levi to return to his quarters. Hanji had gotten bored and started going through Levi's things, while Moblit sat at the dining table, with the look of "I shouldn't be here", on his face. Sweeping into the room, Levi let out a feral sounding growl. Hanji immediately frowning at him "Is everything alright?" "It's fucking fine. Just... prince shit. Thank you both for watching over Eren" "Um... ok?" "The party is still going, feel free to go enjoy yourselves" "If..." "Hanji, I am so not in the mood right now. Zeke sicked Petra onto me, for the whole fucking night. He's finally drunk enough not to notice I'm not there. Go enjoy yourselves" Hanji opened her mouth, but clearly thought better of it, as she cast Eren a sympathetic glance "Hanji, we should go" "Yep. We're totally going. Eren, don't let him boss you around" Levi growled, causing Hanji to give a nervous laugh as she walked almost comically fast towards the door, grabbing Moblit's arm as she did. When the door closed, Levi's anger seemed to deflate. Eren growing nervous about talking about his find. Both item still hidden in his robes "Do I want to know what happened tonight?" "Um... I'm not gonna lie. It's going to make you mad" "Great. Just... let me get changed, then we'll talk" While Levi was in his bathroom, Eren moved to place the sword and the egg on the bed, before covering both with Levi's furs, and hoping Levi had calmed by the time he'd come out. Pulling off his boots, he hissed at the few bruises his magic hadn't healed. He was dying for a drink of water, but too nervous to move. When Levi came out, his face grew angry as he marched over to him, grabbing him by the upper arm "Someone hurt you" "Y-yeah..." "Eren. Did you see a healer?" "My magic healed what it could" "What do you mean, "what it could?"?" "I... I'm sorry" "Show me" "It's just a few bruises" "Eren, show me" Levi helped him out his robes, the alphas fingers soft as they ran over the bruises on his back and stomach "What the fuck happened?! Who did this?" Levi's anger moved him to tears. He'd had no one ever be angry for him when he'd been beaten on the streets "I'm sorry..." Wiping at his face, he felt pathetic. The anger in Levi's scent turned to concern, the man guiding him down to sit "I couldn't let them get away with it. You're going to be so mad..." "Hey. Stop crying..." Moving to sit next to him, Levi promptly shot back up. The man pulling back the furs to reveal the sword and the egg. There was a strain in Levi's tone as he tried to keep his voice even "Eren, why the fuck is there a sword and a dragon egg in my bed?!" "I... I couldn't let Marley take them" "You better explain everything right now" Eren couldn't help but react to Levi's anger. The man's hands had been so soft, and now Levi sounded as he was nearing apocalyptic rage. After being beaten by four alphas, his nerves were shot now he was safe "C-can I please have a drink of water?" "Shit, brat. Hold on. I'm trying not to be mad, but at the same time, these are dragon relics" Eren nodded quickly, his voice muffled as he tried to hold his head high "I know" Levi moved to pour him some water from the jug beside his bed "And they look to be royal relics" "I think they are..." Draining the glass of water, Eren nodded to Levi when he was ready to begin. It was scary to watch Levi's anger grow as Eren explained everything that had happened since the sky show. By the time he was done, he didn't know just what Levi was going to do. The man had started pacing half way through Eren's retelling, and was still pacing when he'd finished. Another few moments passed, before Levi stopped "I don't know what the fuck to say" Drawing his knees up, Eren waited to be struck. A whimper coming from the teen as his mind went to less than pleasant places "No. Fuck. No, Eren. I'm not mad you at. Well, I am. But there's other people I'm fucking mad at. Zeke dared come into this castle, to steal from us. The guards were supposed to be on fucking duty. Me. I knew something was wrong, but Zeke was watching me and I guess we fucking know why. And those fucking Marley pigs who bashed the shit out of you. And fuck, fucking Fluffybrows. I'm proud of you trying to stand up for Eldia. Marley has taken too much for us. But I have no idea what the fuck comes next. Are you sure you're healed enough to be up and moving?" "M-my magic has been better since we... you know..." Walking back towards the bed, Eren flinched as Levi raised his hand. He didn't expect Levi to place his hand on his shoulder as he squatted down to look him in the eye "I'm not going to hurt you. They really did a number on you, didn't they" "I think my magic hurt them, which only made them angrier. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble" "I know you didn't. No. You didn't cause this, or deserve this. Do you want to take a shower or a bath might be better?" "May I please have a bath?" The idea of the warm water and bubbles sounded amazing, given how sore he knew he was going to be "Sure. You know where everything is. I'm not going to use a command on you, but I need to know what you told Hanji?" "Nothing. I hid them egg and the sword on in my robes... the stupid thing finally had a use" "Ok. I'm going to send a guard to get E-Levi. Have you eaten?" "I'm not really hungry" "You should still eat. I'll have something brought up. It's safer you stay in my room for now" That was good. He really didn't feel like dragging himself to his own room "Thank you. I'm really sorry" "Stop apologising. Tonight, you were as brave as any soldier. Well. The ones who do their fucking shitty jobs" Eren snorted through his nose. Kind of feeling proud again.

[completeandrandomshit]

15 Scientifically Proven Ways to Work Smarter, Not Just MoreNobody cares how busy your are or how work you late, they just care what you get done.

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John Rampton - ENTREPRENEUR VIP

Whether you're working a traditional 9-to-5 gig or running your own business, we all struggle with productivity. For many this is a daily struggle. The good news? That struggle will be a thing of the past if you implement these 15 scientifically-proven methods for increasing your productivity.

1. Track your time.

Time tracking will boost your productivity by allowing you to see how much time you’ve spent on a task. The task may be invoicing or emailing, the tracking will be be done the same. You will also know how much time you’ve wasted. Have you counted all the times you’ve checked your phone when you receive a notification?

Researchers found people who were assigned to wear a pedometer walked at least one extra mile per day on average. It also improved their overall activity levels by 27 percent.

There are hundreds of companies that offer everything from clock timers and time sheets to automated business process features. You can get faster at invoicing, project management, collaboration platforms, payroll software and more. I recommend choosing the right Calendar to help with this.

However, choosing the best time tracking tool for you can be overwhelming. The good news is we’ve already put together a list of 101 time tracking companies for you to check out.

Related: 8 Great Time-Tracking Apps for Freelancers

2. Unplug every 90 minutes.

If you’re like most people, you’re probably busy responding to emails on the morning commute. You may be answering the phone whenever you have a break -- but you're working non-stop. This is not as uncommon of an occurrence as previously believed. But, we weren’t designed to work like that.

The fact is that our bodies and minds actually follow a daily cycle called a circadian rhythm. “...these are the physical, mental and behavioral changes that follow a roughly 24-hour cycle. These respond primarily to light and darkness in an organism’s environment.”

It’s the same rhythm we follow for healthy sleep patterns. We shift between several 90 minute cycles of truly deep restorative sleep. This sleep is then followed by a lighter, dream-filled REM sleep.

When it comes to productivity research shows that going full-throttle for eight hours straight goes against this design. We cycle through ultradian rhythms. In other words, the brain can only focus for 90 to 120 minutes before it needs a break.

That’s why it’s suggested that you carve your workday into a trio of 90-minute chunks. This change will put you in the patter or order, to achieve maximum productivity.

Related: The Best Ways to Use Breaks to Be More Productive (Infographic)

3. Take a nap.

Yes. You read that correctly. Studies have found that taking a 20 minute nap in the afternoon can make you more productive. A little nap will recharge, refresh and reinvigorate both the body and the brain. Naps also make you feel more relaxed and will extend your life by preventing risks like heart attacks.

No wonder Google, Pfizer, Proctor & Gamble and Saatchi & Saatchi have added Energy Pods (or Sleep Pods) to their work spaces.

Related: Will You Actually Be More Productive If You Take a Nap Every Day?

4. Work in natural light.

A study conducted by the neuroscience program at Northwestern University found a strong relationship between workplace daylight exposure and office workers' sleep, activity and quality of life.

The NU study stated that the employees who worked in natural light slept on average 46 more minutes per night. Workers slept more soundly and efficiently, and reported higher quality of life scores than those who did not. Windowless workers had lower scores in measurements of physical problems and vitality. It proved those who didn't work near daylight also had less quality sleep.

The NU study goes back to the original proof of the circadian rhythm. So, it’s not surprising that natural light can impact your productivity and energy.

What if you don’t work in an office that has windows? A quick fix would be to purchase a natural light lamp that can simulate natural light. If that doesn’t work, consider working remotely or finding a new job where you can bask in the sunlight.

Related: 5 Ways to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder In Your Office

5. Evaluate your internet speed.

A Boston-based Analysis Group, via The Washington Post, cities that those with high average internet speeds were more productive. The report added that the cities that offer 1G or higher in internet speeds reported a higher per-capita GDP. The results were analyzed next to those cities lacking high internet speeds.

This may sound like common sense to you. Realize how much your productivity will improve when your internet speeds-up. You have probably become accustomed to waiting for webpages to load.

You can run a speed test tool to find out how much speed you're actually getting. This tests speeds from your current provider. You can also use an internet speed estimate tool.  With the test you will get an idea on how much speed you should sign up for.

Related: What Midsize Cities Must Do to Boost Entrepreneurship

6. Bring the outside, in.

Research shows that as individuals we can be more productive after spending time outdoors. Being surrounded by trees and rocks can stimulate and inspire creativity and productivity. Unfortunately, not all of us can get outside every day.

To get around this, bring nature inside by investing in plants. Plants increase our happiness and productivity, while reducing stress. This may have something to do with the fact that plants can reduce the chemicals emitted into the air.

Rodale’s Organic Life has eight recommendations for plants that improve productivity.

Related: 5 Easy Ways to Make Your Team Healthier and More Productive

7. Plan your day the night before.

Planning your work day allows you to schedule work on your meaningful goals. You can write these goals to do within the first few hours of the day.

When you're able to accomplish these goals, your mood will improve. Accomplishing your goals will eventually make you even more productive. Creating a plan also relieves anxiety and leaves some free mental space.

Research has discovered that when you create a specific plan you’re behavior is likely to follow the plan. Don't hold on to the notion that you can just think through your plan. A study had participants write a report two days after Christmas about how they spent their holidays.

One group was asked to specify where, when, and how they were going to write the report. The control group was asked to write the report, but didn’t create such a plan.

Of the participants who made a plan, 71 percent sent the report back in to the researchers. This is compared against the 32 percent of participants who hadn’t formed a plan.

Related: 5 Daily Habits That Will Increase Your Productivity Levels

8. Get happy.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, one of the leading happiness researchers, describes this in The How of Happiness:

“In sum, across all the domains of life, happiness appears to have numerous positive by-products. Few of us have taken the time to really understand [these]. In becoming happier, we boost experiences of joy, contentment, love, pride, and awe. We also improve other aspects of our lives. Energy levels, our immune systems, our engagement with work and with other people, and our physical and mental health benefit."

A study from the University of Warwick also found that happiness made people around 12 percent more productive. “We have shown that happier subjects are more productive, the same pattern appears in four different experiments. This research will provide some guidance for management in all kinds of organizations. The goal, striving to make their workplaces emotionally healthy for their workforce,” said one of the researchers Dr. Eugenio Proto.

If you want improve your happiness, start with the basics like taking care of yourself. This includes exercising, meditating and eating healthy. Start expressing gratitude and surrounding yourself with optimistic people.

Related: 12 Ways Happiness Increases Productivity in the Work Environment

9. Avoid the news.

Living in a world where we’re plugged in 24/7 means that we’re bombarded with news. You may not even want to hear about the particular news story you're hearing.  The problem as Buffer’s Joel Gascoigne explains -- the news is negative. The ratio of bad news to good news is around 17:1. As previously mentioned, happiness influences productivity -- skipping the news may help you.

Constantly consuming this unhealthy information can affect your mood and prevent you from bettering yourself. For instance, instead of watching the 24/7 news cycle, you could hit the gym. Consider strengthening  a skill, or reading a book that’s inspiring to boost your productive and happy self.

Related: 5 Distractions That Are Productivity Poison (and How to Avoid Them)

10. Take breaks with a friend.

Sociometric researchers found employees who spent their lunch breaks with others were 36 percent more productive during the week. The same study also revealed that this same group were 30 percent less likely to become stressed. Even when the company went through a round of layoffs later in the year, there was less stress.

Those who were more productive and less stressed were those who socialized. Socializing helps clear the mind and allows us to decompress. Talking to others gives us the chance to gain a new perspective on a problem or task. Companies like Google have been pushing for campus style workplaces. In these workplace employees will all collaborate and interacts with each other during the day.

What if you work from home or are a freelancer? Call a couple of friends and have lunch with them.

Related: 10 Ways Even Introverts Can Make Friends at Work

11. Watch YouTube.

It’s true. A study out of the University of Melbourne suggests that procrastination can sometimes be good. Dr. Brent Coker found that those who browse the internet while working are more productive than others who don’t.

“People need to zone out for a bit to get back their concentration,” Coker said. The study found that those who spend time on websites like YouTube were more motivated. A reasonable amount of time provided a nine percent raise in productivity. Those without the YouTube benefit (I love this) were not as productive.

You can use YouTube to watch clips making you smile or even instructional videos that can help you become more productive. The boss may like the instructional videos from YouTube better than the humors ones.

Related: An Entrepreneur Reflects on Free Time Now That His Kids, and Business, Are Grown Up

12. Adjust your thermostat.

Researchers from Finland  found that performance increases with temperatures up to between 69.8 degrees and 71.6 degrees Fahrenheit. This correlates to 21 degrees to 22 degrees Celsius. The study was conducted at Helsinki University of Technology, Laboratory for Heating Ventilating and Air Conditioning.

The Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory Environmental Energy Technologies Division at Berkeley concurred with the Finland study. Berkeley also found the highest productivity at around 71.6 degrees Fahrenheit.

A Cornell study suggests that chilly workers make more errors. More errors can potentially increase a worker’s hourly labor cost by 10 percent. Warming up, “typing errors fell by 44 percent and typing output increased 150 percent..."

Related: Creating Your Own Ideal Temperature Zone Is a First-World Office Perk in a Far-Fetched Utopia

13. Declutter.

Researchers at the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute studied clutter on productivity. They discovered that too much clutter causes brain activity to decrease. Your brain becomes overly distracted by the clutter preventing you from being able to accomplish more.

How often have you had to stop working on a project because you had to look for a tool that you needed? When you find what you need how long does it take you to get back on track?

Keep your workplace clean and organized. Always put things back where they belong.

Mental clutter also hinders productivity. June Saruwatari is a best-selling author of Behind the Clutter. Saruwatari recommended that you to create a to do list each evening or morning. She suggests that you prioritize the list, and then reflect and reorganize it. As you cannot get everything done in one day, this allows “everything in it’s own mental container. You only open the lid when we are ready to deal with it.”

Related: Your Office Isn't Big Enough for Clutter and Productivity

14. Single-task.

“The brain cannot be in two places at once, so what people are referencing as multitasking is actually what neuroscientists call task switching and that means rapidly moving back and forth between different tasks,” states Devora Zack, author of Singletasking: Get More Done – One Thing at a Time.

Task switching, warns Zack, not only lowers productivity by 40%, it also shrinks our brains. “When you overload your brain trying to get it to task switch, you shrink the grey matter in your brain,” she says.

This means that our brains and bodies should be in the same place and focused on one thing at a time, aka single tasking. You can start by eliminating distractions like turning off auditory dings or pop-ups, cluster-tasking emails, jotting down any distractions so you can revisit them, and carving out around 15 minutes for quiet reflection.

Related: The Fallacy of Multitasking

15. Listen to music.

Noise can be distracting. But, the right noise does have the power to boost productivity. Music in particular can help with focus and concentration when working on repetitive tasks. What kind of music though? The nifty app called focus@will contains a unique library of instrumental music that will increase your attention span and general concentration.

THANKS TO JOHN RAMPTON AND ENTREPRENEUR.COM FOR THE ARTICLE.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 24

(aka the royalty AU story)

Be the change you want to see in the world, right? Well I wanna see more aro ace characters. So here, have a CANON ARO ACE CHARACTER THIS CHAPTER :D

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23] [AO3]

The weather was warm enough for Kim to sit outside at the fountain, doing his homework on the ground with the calming sound of water to focus his mind. Max was busy tutoring someone else at the moment so Kim was on his own. It felt kind of strange doing his homework without Max there to help if he needed it, even though he could usually do it by himself these days. Perhaps he was just getting too used to Max’s company. In any case, it felt somewhat harder to concentrate without Max, though he tried his best.

“Hello, Kim.”

He looked up to see Marchesa Lila walking towards him, a bright orange parasol in hand to protect her from the sun.

“Oh, hey Lila,” he muttered, then went back to working on his homework.

“I was just out here for a walk,” she said, striding right up to him and looking down at him with those enticing green eyes of hers. “I didn’t realize you would be here too, what a coincidence! This really is a lovely fountain, though. What a beautiful, romantic setting.”

Kim was very tempted to ask why she was very clearly hitting on him when he thought she was interested in Adrien instead, but he stopped himself. Lila always hit on everyone, it probably didn’t mean anything. He gave her a quick smile then tried to get back to his homework again.

“A day like this is too good for wasting on work,” she simpered, putting the tip of her parasol down on the sheet of paper and dragging it aside. “Would you like to join me on my walk?”

“Um, no thanks. I have to get this homework done, then I’ve got a football match, and later I was gonna go skating with Alix…”

Lila’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “So… you’re not afraid of her snake?”

“What? Pffff, no way, I’m not scared of snakes. Her snake totally loves me. We’re besties.”

“I’m not scared of snakes either.” Lila flipped her long hair over her shoulder. “My country has venomous cobras too, I’ve tamed them with my bare hands. And I like skating too, you know, I’m a real expert at it. Unfortunately I can’t show you because I recently hurt my foot in a dangerous stunt so my doctor said not to, so I left my rollerskates back in Rossi. Have you been there? You should visit, it’s iconic. The rich, powerful centre of the trade world.”

What? No, none of that could be right, surely. Kim remembered Max teaching him about half the things she just mentioned and… no, there was no way. If she was lying just to get his attention, well, she must have thought he knew nothing about global affairs whatsoever.

“Italia doesn’t have cobras,” he said. “Max said the only venomous snakes in Italia are vipers. And rollerskates are patented in Kubdel, which doesn’t trade with Italia so if you even have skates they must be illegal or directly from when you’ve visited, both of which are hard for a marquise. And Rossi only trades with the Italian mainland and doesn’t have much political power, though I guess it’s kinda wealthy compared to surrounding countries…”

He was impressed at himself by how easily he could recall these facts. Max really must have done a great job at tutoring, that was for sure.

Lila, on the other hand, looked as far from impressed as possible.

“Are you trying to make me look bad or something? I was just trying to be friendly!”

“Huh? No, nothing like that, I was just confused why you were lying…”

“I wasn’t lying!” she huffed, stomping her foot. “How dare you accuse me of being a liar? Because I’m not!”

“Then I guess you were just mistaken or something?”

“No, I know what I’m talking about! I’m much smarter than you, and–”

She stopped and took a deep breath, cooling her temper a little.

“Alright, fine, I might have been exaggerating a bit. I just wanted to have a conversation with you, that was all. I didn’t realize you were just as much of a swot as that Max guy.”

“Max is way smarter than me,” Kim said. “But uh… I’m guessing all the other stuff you’ve told everyone about Rossi this week isn’t true either, is it?”

“It’s kind of true!”

That was probably a lie too. “Lila, I won’t tell anyone you lied. I show off all the time too, it’s fine. But maybe tone it down a bit? If you keep lying then everyone else will realize too, and I don’t think they’d mind much either but someone like Chloé might, and she won’t be happy about that, especially since you’re not technically royalty… So if you want to make friends then probably stop making stuff up, it’ll be easier. I’ll be your friend if you want.”

“Thank you, Kim. But I don’t think I’m interested in being friends with someone who thinks of me as a liar and is going to be judging everything I say. I’ll keep your advice in mind, though. Have fun with your… homework.”

She whirled round and marched off.

Was she upset with him? Was she really going to stop lying? It hurt a little that she had assumed he would be so easy to lie to, and that she had been surprised that he wasn’t just some airhead who didn’t know anything. Was that really how people saw him?

It was probably how they saw him compared with Max, anyway. Anyone was an airhead in comparison with Max. Kim would just have to work harder to show everyone that there was more to him than sportiness and challenges, that was all.

As for Lila, he really had wanted to make friends with her – he knew perfectly well what it was like to want to show off in front of new people to make sure they liked you. But outright lying was something else entirely! He didn’t want a friendship based on lies. And if she didn’t want a friendship based on truth, then it probably wasn’t ever going to happen.

Poor girl… hopefully she would find someone who liked her for who she actually was, and she wouldn’t feel the need to lie to them. Everyone deserved someone to be their true self with.

The summer gala was quickly drawing nearer, and the end of the school year with it. It was going to be an informal, optional event, held in the large open square.

“I’m not going to this one either,” Alix said to Kim and Max after the lesson where they had been told the details about it. “If everyone’s at the gala then there’ll be no one around to tell me off or give me detention for doing all the stuff I’ve always wanted to do at this school.”

“What kind of stuff?” Max asked, looking rather sternly at her. “It’s not illegal, is it?”

“Nah, just stuff like skating down the stair railings and climbing those huge trees near the perimeter.”

“You will break your neck and die.”

“Jeez Max, who replaced you with Jalil? I’ll be fine! It’ll be way more fun than some stupid social event, you know I hate stuff like that. Anyway, if you guys are worried I’ll die then you are free to join me and supervise. As long as you don’t tell the teachers or anything.”

“I’m going to the gala, but Kim can keep you company,” Max said, giving Kim a pointed look.

“Fine. If he can keep up with me, that is.”

“Of course I can keep up!” Kim said. “We should have a race – who can climb the tree the quickest. Loser has to jump from like 20 metres up.”

“Let’s reduce that to 2 metres,” Max said hastily. “Anyway Kim, I need to talk to you about something, that thing to do with that homework thing, come on…”

Without waiting, Max grabbed Kim’s arm and pulled him away.

“What homework thing?” Kim asked once they had stopped.

“That was just an excuse to get you away, I need to say something without Alix being here. Listen – it’s been a long time, I’m getting sick of being wingman if you’re not even going to do anything. You and her not going to the gala will be your chance to tell her you like her, so do it, okay?”

Kim nodded. “You’re right, I’ll totally do it this time. I promise. Thanks, Max. You’re the coolest wingman ever. But… you don’t have to go to the gala if you don’t want to, seriously, I don’t mind if you’re there with us, it’ll probably help me not be such an idiot anyway because I’m always more sensible when you’re around–”

“I’d rather not interfere,” Max muttered. “I’ve already made up my mind, I’m going to the gala. You’ll be fine on your own.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. She must be on the verge of noticing you like her – you’ve asked her for a kiss more than once, you played her a romantic ballad on the day of the Cupid Festival, you were rather obvious about the sports bra incident, everyone else in the class has noticed already… Her obliviousness has to have a limit. And of course, if you just tell her outright, you’ll bypass that problem entirely.”

Kim sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… every time I want to say something, I just remember what happened with Chloé! And I know Alix wouldn’t be like that, but I just can’t help thinking about it, and I’m just… I’m…” He lowered his voice. “…I’m afraid of being rejected like that again.”

“That’s fair enough. I suppose Chloé’s rejection affected you more than you realized. But things will be different this time, I’m certain. You can do it.”

“I can do it,” Kim repeated, trying to reassure himself. “Yeah, I can and WILL do it. I’ve totally got this. It’ll be fine. It’ll be awesome! Thanks Max, you’re awesome too!”

He gave Max a hug, then ran off.

The gala wasn’t much different from the other seasonal socials had been, though it was far more relaxed than the formal ones. Max stood alone by the refreshments table, drinking glass after glass of orange juice and wondering if it was possible to get drunk off it. Scientifically it wasn’t, but he could always hope.

He tried so hard not to feel sorry for himself. He was happy for Kim. He really was! Kim was his best friend, and Max would do anything for him. Even if it hurt a lot.

Juleka wandered over to him, dressed in the kind of bright pink that her sweetheart Rose would usually wear.

“Hi Max, you alright?”

Max shrugged. “Alright is certainly the right word. Not great, but alright.”

“Unrequited love hurts, doesn’t it?”

He almost spat out his drink. She was smiling at him in a somewhat sad, pitying sort of way.

“Yes, I can tell,” she said. “I have much better gaydar than Alya does.”

“Juleka, did you ever have crushes on straight girls?” Max asked suddenly, unable to help himself. “Or girls who just weren’t interested in you? How did you deal with it?”

“I had plenty of crushes before Rose, but I was too shy to ever do anything about it so nothing ever happened.”

“How did you have the courage to ask out Rose?”

“She was already my close friend, so I knew that even if she didn’t feel the same way about me, it wouldn’t end up weird between us. Rose is such a sweetie, of course she would understand. And also Kim kind of egged me on.”

Max couldn’t help but grin. “Kim has no subtlety whatsoever.”

“Of course he doesn’t. You’re much better at hiding your feelings. I think I’m the only one who’s noticed so far.”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. But maybe you should do something about it.”

“I can’t – Kim doesn’t love me like that, does he?”

Juleka shook her head. “Looks to me like he’s head over heels for Alix.”

“Maybe I should have done something much earlier. It’s too late now. They’re hanging out right at this moment. Probably already sweethearts by now.”

“I doubt it very much.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well, considering that Alix hasn’t even noticed yet that Kim likes her despite how obvious he’s been, she probably isn’t even remotely interested. And, uh, my gaydar is somewhat going off. At least, she’s not straight. I know that much. Same with Kim.”

Max tried not to put too much faith in that. Gaydar wasn’t exactly scientific, so it had to be taken with a grain of salt. Even if Juleka seemed to know more than she let on. Kim was bi, Max knew that, but Alix? What was she, then?

“Anyway,” Juleka said, “I’ll be off now, gotta go back to my sweet Rose and get her that drink she asked me for. Goodbye Max, and good luck.”

She took a drink off the table and walked away. Lucky her… she and Rose were together, and perfectly happy. Though they didn’t exactly tell people the nature of their relationship, no one was really fooled into thinking it was merely close friendship. Thankfully, it seemed that the royalty class at least all seemed to be alright with it. That gave Max a little hope for the future.

He took another swig of orange juice, feeling the fruity sugars imbuing him with hyper energy. Perhaps he shouldn’t have had so much of it. He could barely stand still, wanting to bounce up and down on his toes. His brain was going much too fast as well, coming up with all sorts of stupid thoughts and scenarios quicker than he could stop them.

Was it selfish to wish that Juleka was right, and that Alix didn’t love Kim back? But then again, he didn’t really wish that. He just wanted Kim to be happy, that was what. The problem was whether or not it would make him happy too.

Most of all he wished he had done something earlier. He should have told Kim the truth a long time ago. It would be too late to do that now, when things were so far along. But the longer he waited, the more painful it felt…

Meanwhile, Kim and Alix (and her snake) spent the whole afternoon being able to mess around without any supervision whatsoever, sliding down the railings, clambering up onto the school roof and trying to catch pigeons, throwing algae from the stream at each other, having rollerskate races, trying to avoid the school guards hanging around, jumping off dangerously high tree branches…

By the time the sun was setting, they were both quite tired and they sat on the warm grass under the trees, resting. The little daisies growing everywhere gave Kim an idea.

“Let’s see who can make a daisy chain flower crown the quickest,” he said, starting to pick a few flowers.

“I don’t know how to make those. All the flowers growing in my kingdom are artificial or for decoration, I’m never allowed to pick them.”

“Here, I’ll show you how to do it.”

Using his nail to make a little hole in the stem of one flower, he linked it up with another, then carried on. She watched with interest. Within a few minutes he had a full flower crown ready.

“Nice!” she said, taking off her headdress which the snake was curled up around, putting it down on the grass beside her. “Go on then, make me a cool hippie flower witch.”

He put the flower crown on her head, then sat back and had a look…

It didn’t suit her. Not even a little bit. Yet despite that, he was hit by a surge of longing so strong it made him feel dizzy. There was just something about the way she was smirking at him, her head tilted at that frustratingly cute angle, glints of gold from the setting sun lighting up her pink hair, the tank top leaving every muscle on her arms exposed…

He knew he should tell her how he felt. He’d promised Max he would do it, and he hadn’t yet. Now was the time.

He was just about to speak when she lay down on the grass on her back, looking up at the sky. “There are actually clouds in this country, it’s such a nice change. I can do that thing they do in movies where they look at the clouds and try to point out shapes. Never done it before. That one there, it looks like a… a snake! It’s totally a snake, right?”

Kim looked at the cloud she was pointing at. “Um… it l-looks like an earthworm to me b-but…”

“Gee, what’s up? You sound ill all of a sudden.”

He certainly felt ill – in particular, too lovesick to function properly. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Maybe she would finally notice. That might be better than outright telling her, which was still too nerve-wracking to properly consider.

“Can we have an arm wrestle?” he asked her suddenly.

“What, now? Sure, I guess, that’s kinda random but why not…”

She turned onto her side and lazily grabbed his hand. He was sure the adrenaline would give him enough strength to win easily, but he was still distracted enough to lose within just a few seconds.

“You’re off your game, dude,” she said. “Are you too tired or something? Because that wasn’t even a challenge.”

Just hearing the word “challenge” would ordinarily have snapped him back into action, but he was hyperaware of the fact that he hadn’t yet let go of her hand, and was sitting so close to her, and everything around them was so idyllic and peaceful, and it was just so overwhelming he could hardly even speak.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” he mumbled.

“You need more sleep. You’ve been working yourself too hard recently.” When he didn’t reply, she waved her other hand in front of his face. “Kim? You there?”

“Sorry, I’m j-just…” He scrambled to think of something to say that wasn’t cheesy. “Your hair… I don’t see it that much because… headdress… anyway it looks, um, really pretty…”

Whoops, that was definitely cheesy.

“Oh, cool, thanks.”

Phew, she didn’t seem to think that was weird.

“Can I stroke it?”

He wanted to smack himself in the face – what kind of stupid, weird question was that? Why didn’t he ever think before speaking?

“What is it with you thinking of me as a cat?” she said, grinning. “You did this at the sleepover too, remember?”

Oh thank goodness, she wasn’t weirded out by that either, despite the fact that it was definitely, objectively, weird.

“Well yeah, you’re really cute,” he said quickly, feeling his cheeks burning. “Not just like a cat, I mean, but like… cute. As in, pretty. N-not as much as me though! I’m the coolest, obviously, haha, but like… you’re second, so…”

She laughed. “You’re seriously the only person I know who has ever called me ‘cute’. Usually the word is ‘annoying’ or ‘intimidating’, but ‘cute’ is new. Clearly I’ve not been scary enough lately. Want me to pretend I’m gonna get the snake to eat you again?”

“If you want.”

“Seriously?” She laughed again. “Kim, you’re after something, aren’t you? You’re being so overly nice to me today! What is it you want from me, a telephone? More skating lessons? A less violent Monopoly game?”

“I’m allowed to be nice, aren’t I?”

“Oh yeah, I’m not complaining! It’s just so weird, like you’re trying to appease me or soften a blow or secretly in love with me or something…”

His heart skipped so many beats he was half sure he was having a heart attack. It must have shown on his face, since she frowned suddenly.

“Kim, are you okay? Did I say something? I was just kidding, I didn’t mean–” She let go of his hand rather quickly and sat up. “Wait a second… okay this sounds really weird but I’m just checking… are you in love with me?”

How on earth was he supposed to answer that? The honest answer was yes! But the way she was frowning, looking as if that was not the answer she wanted to hear…

Still, he had promised Max he would do this. It was now or never.

“Since September.”

He had hoped he would stay calm enough to not run off straightaway to avoid whatever the consequences of his confession were, but as soon as he saw the look of complete shock on her face, he leapt to his feet and tore off without looking back.

Kim did not sleep very well that night. He hadn’t even been down to have dinner, just munching on snacks in his room instead, and was seriously contemplating hiding away in here all of the next day too. He did not want to run into Alix. She probably thought he was a complete weirdo, a creep, she wouldn’t want to be his friend now…

In the morning there was a knock on the door. He stayed as silent as possible just in case it was Alix, but then he heard the reassuring voice of Max on the other side.

“Kim, are you in there? Can I come in?”

Kim opened the door. “Oh man, Max, I could not be happier to see you… How was the gala?”

“It was okay,” Max said. “But I’m actually here with a message. Alix wants to talk to you about something, but she wanted me to check first if you actually want to see her or not. I’m assuming you two left something on a bit of a cliff-hanger yesterday.”

“Yeah…” Kim sighed. “Okay, fine, I’ll talk to her. I may as well get it over with. I’ll tell you everything later, I promise.”

“Alright, I’ll send her along. See you later.”

Kim watched Max walk back down the corridor, feeling dread settling in his stomach. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too bad…

A few minutes later he got another knock on his door, and he reluctantly opened it and let Alix in. For once she didn’t have the snake with her – perhaps it had just eaten or something. Well, at least that meant he wouldn’t be killed with it, no matter what else happened.

“Ignore yesterday,” he said immediately, not really looking at her. “Just pretend that didn’t happen, I’m sorry, I was just being an idiot and I know you’re probably mad at me and–”

“What? No, I’m not mad at you.” She was looking at him with an expression that looked mostly like pity, though it was always hard to tell what she was thinking when she wasn’t trying to make it clear. “It’s okay. But I really have to tell you something, so just be quiet and listen.”

So she wasn’t mad, that was a good start. Hopefully the rest of whatever she was going to say wouldn’t be too bad either.

“At my oracle session, the question I asked Master Fu was if there’s gonna be a succession crisis in my kingdom after I die. He said there will be one. Most people would be really upset about that, but for me… it’s good. That was the answer I wanted. Do you know why?”

Kim shook his head. He had never really thought about kingdom succession very much before.

“It’s because if there’s no one to succeed me, it means I have no heirs. And the way succession laws work in my kingdom, it means I have no spouse either. As in, I never marry or have kids. And most people would be horrified about that, too, but…”

She was looking at the ground, as if she was ashamed or nervous to say it.

“…I don’t even know why, but I just… have this kind of… aversion to stuff like that. You know, romance and marriage and stuff. It’s never interested me. Boys, girls, whatever, I don’t care. I have no preference. As in, my preference is none. And because I’m a royal, I always assumed when I grow up I’ll end up forced into a marriage or something and pressured into providing an heir for the throne, that kind of thing, that always happens to people. But the idea of that… it terrifies me.”

Her voice was so quiet by now it was almost hard to hear. It seemed like this was the first time she was ever saying any of this out loud.

“So I was super relieved when I got Fu’s answer because it means I’ll get to live as the kind of pharaoh I want to, without having to marry anyone or anything, I can’t stand the idea of having to do something like that with no choice. I can just be myself. And I guess it’s kinda weird… that I don’t, you know, ever have crushes on people or know what it’s like to fall in love like that, but... maybe I’m not the only one? I don’t know, I’ve never met anyone else like me, but if as a pharaoh I can let the world know this is who I am then maybe other people like this will come forward saying they feel the same way and I’ll know I’m not alone…”

She finally looked back up at him, though she still seemed somewhat nervous.

“And so yeah, I’m not into you like that. But it’s not personal – I’m not into anyone like that. And I want to let you know that this doesn’t change anything, you’re still my best friend, okay? I mean, it’s actually kinda flattering that you like me. I never expected anyone to, I’m not really… I don’t know, conventional? Feminine? I’m just weird, I never thought anyone would be into me. What do you see in me, anyway?”

Kim’s throat felt so choked up it was a wonder he could even speak. “Honestly I don’t even know… you’re really cool, I guess? So spirited and carefree and the only person who can ever match me in a challenge… it’s inspiring, and awesome, and… uh, not that it matters too much, but you are pretty hot, so…”

She cracked a grin. “So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type? Because there was Chloé too, right?”

“Haha yeah, maybe… Did you really not notice I liked you before yesterday? I think the whole class had noticed already.”

“I really didn’t know,” she admitted. “I’m so oblivious when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, I did occasionally think about it. Like when you played that song for me on the day of the Cupid Festival, but then you said it was a friendship song, so…”

“It was a love song.”

“Ah, that makes more sense. And then at spring with the sports bra I wondered too, but I just chalked it up to you being a teenage guy and having a thing for sports bras.”

“Well, I guess it was a combination of all that...”

“Fair enough.”

“Anyway, um, for the record I totally do care about you as a friend too, I promise,” Kim said. “Like, platonically. So thanks for saying you’ll still be my best friend, and we can just carry on like normal… maybe now I’ve got this off my chest this crush will go away… I really just do wanna be your friend. You’re an awesome friend.”

“Yeah, you’re a… a… okay, this is going to sound really cheesy, but I have to say it, so just shut up and listen.”

She took a deep breath, folding her arms and looking at the floor again.

“Just because I’m not in love with you, doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay? Because I totally do. You’re my best friend, and before this year I didn’t really have any friends, so you’re just… you’re really important to me and this friendship means so much to me, okay? And you’re so awesome and supportive and always there for me… a-and I will be your winggirl. You deserve someone amazing who loves you back. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re the best and I just want you to be happy.”

Kim didn’t dare say anything, since he felt sure if he even said a word he would just burst into tears on the spot. He was sure no one had ever said something so nice to him before – except maybe Max.

“And I have something to give you,” Alix said, unfolding her arms and looking up at him again. “I forgot about it ages ago but this all kind of reminded me. Anyway, kneel down.”

He kneeled, now roughly the same height as her.

“Now close your eyes.”

That sounded ominous. Feeling apprehensive, he closed his eyes and waited. He heard her footsteps coming towards him, then she took his face in her hands…

And kissed him.

He was so shocked he opened his eyes – though by that time it was over already anyway.

“That was left over from the mistletoe at the winter party,” she said, and he noticed she was blushing a little. “I thought I might as well do it, since you like me and everything. I guess we’d both forgotten about it.”

He tried not to freak out, though it was difficult when his brain felt like it had turned to mush, and his heartrate was so high he felt like he was going to collapse. He could still feel his lips tingling, though it had only lasted a few seconds at most…

“I hadn’t forgotten,” he admitted. “I just… didn’t want to ask… thought it would be weird…”

“Well yeah, it was pretty weird. But not bad, I guess. Anyway, I’m gonna go brush my teeth and hope I didn’t catch anything from you, so I’ll see you later. And you have my permission to tell Max everything.”

“Thanks.” That was something he was definitely going to do, alright.

“No problem.” She gave him a friendly punch in the arm, then opened the door and left.

Kim didn’t move from where he was for a few minutes, still reeling from the kiss. Memories of his oracle session suddenly came back to him, especially one phrase in particular: don’t get your hopes up.

This was what Master Fu had meant. It was clear now. Kim did indeed get a kiss from Alix, just like he wanted… but not for the reasons he wanted. It was a platonic kiss, if such a thing existed.

But at this point he didn’t even mind. Mostly, he was just relieved that Alix still wanted to be his friend. He was content with that. At least now he had nothing to hide from her, and he knew nothing would get in the way of their friendship. The thought made him feel so much better.

Yeah… friends. That would be for the best.

[danorth]

Every person, be it a student, professional or a retired veteran, are learning every day. Though separated by ages and inclinations, all of them acquire skill and knowledge in their own field. A student tries to play guitar, a professional tries to become familiar with new software while a retired person tries to learn how to poach an egg which he couldn’t master throughout his busy professional life. But for many of us, there are many things that we want to learn but don’t have the time. In this age when information is readily available, we all have the scope to learn things that we want. The only variable is the time that people spend in learning them.1. Exercise RegularlyA healthy body is always able to remember and memorize different skills rapidly. Doing regular exercises, lifting weights or simply jogging on a treadmill has a host of physical benefits. Moreover, it also helps to improve the learning capabilities of a person. A research study has found that cognitive processing (the ability to think distinctly) improves significantly after a simple 15-minute exercise session.Bonus Info: Whenever you feel that your thoughts are muddled, try taking a break and head for your gym! If it is not available, go for a simple walk.2. Eat Polyunsaturated Fatty AcidsScientists have proved that Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids (PUFAs) especially Omega-3 fatty acids improve brain functioning. These fatty acids directly help in enzyme production and enhance metabolism. Regular intake of PUFAs makes the memory centers of the brain stronger. They are also effective against all developmental disorders.Bonus Info: Fishes like Salmon, Tuna are the richest dietary sources that provide all forms of PUFAs. However, if you are strictly vegetarian, then you would be delighted to know that peanuts, pumpkin seeds, Chia seeds, and Flax also provide substantial PUFA content.3. Get Sufficient SleeScientists have proved that Polyunsaturated Fatty Acids (PUFAs) especially Omega-3 fatty acids improve brain functioning. These fatty acids directly help in enzyme production and enhances metabolism. Regular intake of PUFAs makes the memory centers of the brain stronger. They are also effective against all developmental disorders.Bonus Info: Fishes like Salmon, Tuna are the richest dietary sources that provide all forms of PUFAs. However, if you are strictly vegetarian, then you would be delighted to know that peanuts, pumpkin seeds, Chia seeds, and Flax also provide substantial PUFA content.3. Get Sufficient SleepInteresting research has found that students who have sufficient sleep in the previous night perform better in the grammar exam. Adequate sleep is necessary for the normal functioning of the brain, providing discerned judgments and understanding any complicated idea better. There are many people who sacrifice their sleep when they need to manage the extra workload. However, they lose all their energy and every work that they do with their red eyes turn out to be of inferior quality.Bonus Info: According to various studies, researchers say that a 7-8 hours sleep is compulsory for every person. Try to strictly maintain a regular sleep and wake-up schedule and avoid taking caffeine before you go to bed.4. Drink Adequate Water EverydayAbout 70 percent of the human body is comprised of water. Drinking water is much more important than everybody thinks. Water is very much important to keep the body hydrated and the normal functioning of the brain depends on the abundant supply of water. Any person who maintains and drinks plenty of water is able to think faster and experience greater clarity. Not only that, a study has found that water also helps a person to become more focused and intensifies creativity. So, it is important to carry a bottle of water wherever you go!Bonus Info: Studies have proved that a person with 1 percent dehydration tends to have 5 percent reduction in their cognitive functioning. So it is necessary to take at least two liters of water every day. Fresh fruits are also good and healthy supplier of water to the body.5. Practice Meditation Or YogaLife is full of anxieties. A person with high anxiety and stress level always underperforms than a person with a calm mind. It has been scientifically proved that yoga and meditation helps to reduce depression and tension from human lives. Regular yoga or meditation enhances concentration and discipline. Those who practice it every day report fewer errors in perception or cognition.Bonus Info: It is better to keep some spare time in the morning for meditation or yoga whichever is comfortable to do. Within a single month, you will notice a change in yourself. Today, even United Nations recognizes the importance of Yoga. Starting in 2015, every 21st June will be celebrated as International Yoga Day.6. Take A HobbyEvery person should have a hobby of their own which should be very different from the usual work that they do. Picking up something very different allows the brain to relax and makes the person smarter. Always try something that interests you and on which you can put your concentration. From engaging oneself in the favorite sport to traveling in different places, they act as stimulating activities that help to improve the functioning of the brain. A research conducted by a University has found that hobbies are equally effective on people above the age of 65. They have also shown signs of developed cognitive functions.Bonus Info: Other than keeping you youthful and free from worries and stress, hobbies always help to enrich your perspective. Your hobby becomes your connection with other people with cultivated thoughts and you start seeing the world with refreshed eyes.7. Set Up An AgendaIt is important for every person to set definite and realistic goals in life. The word realistic signifies some achievable targets that the person wants to accomplish. Students, professionals or any other when they decide to learn anything must do so with proper planning. You should arrange your time by including breaks in the schedule. This relaxation time is known as ‘the spacing effect’ which is important and known to improve memory as well as learning abilities.Bonus Info: Though most people need to do multiple tasks at the same time, still it is better if you can provide your complete time to learning depending on your priority. When you do a single task at a time, you have better chances to reach your goal quickly.8. Check Your MotivationA person learns a new skill from their passion or from their own need. So, before beginning the task it is important to ask oneself ‘Why am I learning this?’ and ‘What importance does it have?’ It has been found that people always learn better when the information or skill has a certain level of usefulness to them. In other words, any skill that you choose to learn must interest and excite you or you can lose all your motivation in the middle of the task.Bonus Info: People lose motivation due to various reasons. It may be a lack of time or they can run out of money, some people get scared or they are not serious about the task while some just lose their interest. It is important that you consider all these factors before you jump into the new expedition.9. Get EntertainedIt is already mentioned that it is important to allocate sufficient time for relaxing during the process to avoid complete burnout. It is also better to spend the relaxation time with some source which will entertain you or in other words make you laugh. On the basis of preferences, some people choose to spend this time with their friends while some just sit back and enjoy the evergreen ‘Tom and Jerry’ cartoons.Bonus Info: Various studies have shown that a simple act of laughter is sufficient to reduce the anxiety level. After a giggling session with friends, every person has shown improvement with their problem-solving skills and innovativeness.10. Find A FriendLearning anything can seem to be an uphill task when a person tries to accomplish it all alone. Therefore, it is always prescribed that the students or any other person learning something new should do it in a group. If it is not possible, you should try so that at least one of your friends accompanies you with the task. When you have another person with you, it not only increases your focus but it also helps to maintain accountability.Bonus Info: When a person works with his/her peers, they can help each other in the times of their individual needs. It has also been noticed that in these situations all the friends maintain a healthy competition among themselves which in turn accelerates the momentum.11. Find The Right EnvironmentRight surroundings have a profound impact on the learning process. It always helps positively in the learning process. In general, the ambiance needs to be clean and quiet. But the learner can add or choose anything that complements the environment. Though everyone is supposed to choose a comfortable place, you are advised not to lie in the bed. Any place where your concentration would not be disturbed can be selected as a place to learn new things.Bonus Info: It is also important to keep all distractions like smartphones, MP3 players and TV away from your reach. These things always disturb the concentration level. Some people love parks while some choose the library when they need to learn something.12. Develop MetacognitionMetacognition is referred to as ‘thinking about thinking’. In simpler words, it is not only concerned with understanding but also about how you understand it. Always question your first impression about the subject and try to evaluate what you are learning is accurate or not. So, it is a reflection of the present knowledge and shows the key areas where you would need to make the adjustments.Bonus Info: Metacognition is a developed theory that has attracted theorists since the ages of Greek civilization. Today, it helps everyone, right from struggling students to experts. They can monitor their own work and direct their own learning by following the process of Metacognition.13. Remain Unafraid Of FailuresA group of researchers in Singapore have found that students who tried to solve tough mathematical problems without any external assistance had higher failure rates. But in the long run, these students showed great improvement and came up with certain ideas that exhibited fresh perspectives. This signifies that any learner should not be afraid of failures. Though clichéd still the phrase ‘failures are the pillars of success’ remains still valid. It keeps the mind creative and flexible.Bonus Info: The experts from every field comment that the only key to success is repeated practice. Do not feel let down if you can’t achieve your goal in the first or second attempt.14. Identify The Easiest RouteThere are many people or students who complain that they tend to forget the necessary information after learning any skill. Therefore, it is important to arrange all the essential information in a mnemonic device like a short rhyme or acronym. If possible, all the available information can be turned into a graphic which is easier to memorize. Visualization of any information is always easier to remember. Apart from this, there are a number of simple ways to remember everything you learn.Bonus Info: The students can also categorize all the techniques and information under specific conditions. Arrange the whole table according to your understanding and according to when, why or where the relevance will be important. In this way, a series of facts or formulas can get easily solidified in your mind.15. Use Multiple MediaIn this age of technological boom, it is very easy to gather information about anything. You also have access to different forms of media within your grasp. It is proved that when any person uses multiple forms of media to understand any subject, he or she is going to retain it afresh for a longer period of time. When a person reads about it, he listens about it, watches a video, all their senses and multiple parts of the brain work which makes them understand the subject better.Bonus Info: For reading, you have e-books, for listening you have podcasts and for watching videos you have YouTube. So, use everything and develop a firm understanding of the specific subject.16. Connect With Existing LanguageMost of the time when a person starts learning something, they have some prior knowledge about the topic. It helps to understand the subject better as it embeds the learning within the existing framework of knowledge. It assists in refining the recall speed and enables all to learn the subject swiftly. However, when a person is attempting to learn something completely new, then they will not have this opportunity.Bonus Info: When you have substantial knowledge about the life and works of Shakespeare, it would be easier to understand ‘Hamlet’s play. In this way, try to develop some basic ideas about the subject before you start learning.Above all, always remain confident in what you do. Without proper confidence in oneself, no one in the world can succeed. Follow these steps to keep your brain razor-sharp and make it competent to tackle any challenge or understand any tough information. via /r/IWantToLearn

[kingmindint]

25 Habit of Successful and Extremely Happy People

What’s the secret to happiness? That can differ according to the person involved. But we do know that happy people have different habits and think differently than those who are miserable. So, the good news is, if you’re trying to be one of those happy people, recognize that that desired emotion comes from within and that you have the power to literally turn that frown upside down by mastering some simple habits.

Here’s what happy people do and don’t do . . .

1. They savor the moment.

Do old cliches like “stopping to smell the roses” and “it’s the little things in life” really lead to happiness? Yep.

Researchers call this “savoring,” which is all about paying attention to the moment. Instead of multitasking and being focused on the past and future and on the present negativity all around, those of us who are most satisfied with our lives stop to enjoy the beauty and the small, amazing things in life.

2. They meditate daily.

Meditation is one of the most effective ways to embark on a path of stillness and mindfulness, which, in turn, gives your mind a much needed break from all those worries and anxieties occupying it. Best of all? It takes only a couple of minutes each day. To start out, you can download an app like Calm, Stop, Breathe & Think, or Insight Timer.

3. They don’t hold on to grudges.

Forgiving and forgetting is absolutely necessary when it comes to happiness. The reason? Holding a grudge means that you’re hanging on to anger, resentment, pain and other negative emotions that are roadblocks to happiness. By letting go of these emotions, you free yourself from negativity so there’s more space for positive emotions to get in.

4. They spend money on others.

“We’ve shown in our research that giving money to others actually does make people happier,” saidMichael Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School and author of Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending. “One of the reasons is that it creates social connections. If you have a nice car and a big house on an island by yourself, you’re not going to be happy, because we need people to be happy. But by giving to another person, you’re . . . creating a connection and a conversation with that person, and those things are really good for happiness.”

I’ve learned myself that true friendships require investment. This doesn’t always mean money, but it does require a lot of your time. Truly happy people spend time (and money) on their relationships: Giftology book and gifting expert John Ruhlin has written about this topic.

5. They’re busy, but not rushed.

Research shows that feeling “rushed” can lead to stress and unhappiness. At the same time, people struggle with finding that happy medium of being just busy enough. After all, other studies suggest that a healthy work-life balance is key, since boredom can be burdensome.

If you’re over-committed or too scattered, follow this rule entrepreneur Derek Sivers included on his site: “When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less than ‘Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!’ — then say ‘no.'”

6. They surround themselves with the right people.

Happiness is contagious. This means that when you surround yourself with other people who are happy and supportive, you’ll be able to build self-confidence, boost your creativity and just have more fun in general. On the other end of the spectrum, hanging out with negative people means you’re just another member of their pity party — and that’s exhausting and not much fun.

7. They don’t sweat the small stuff.

People who are happy focus their energy and efforts only on things that are truly important and within their control. Remember, getting consumed by the things that you have absolutely no control over is a waste of time that will end up making you lean more toward the miserable side. In other words, master the art of letting it go.

8. They celebrate other people’s success.

It’s no secret that that having both a rich social life and healthy relationships is an important component to happiness. But, happy people nurture and improve their relationships through “active and constructive” responding, which includes celebrating the success of those around them.

As Martin Seligman explained in his book Flourish: “People we care about often tell us about a victory, a triumph, and less momentous good things that happen to them. How we respond can either build the relationship or undermine it. There are four basic ways of responding, only one of which builds relationships.”

9. They treat everyone with respect and kindness.

Kindness, like happiness, is contagious. There’s even a name for it: “moral elevation.” A studyconducted by researchers at the University of California-Los Angeles, and the universities of Cambridge and Plymouth in the United Kingdom found that witnessing acts of kindness makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“When you feel this sense of moral ‘elevation,’ not only do you say you want to be a better person and help others,” said Simone Schnall, of Cambridge, the lead researcher. “But you actually do, when the opportunity presents itself.”

10. They’re optimistic.

Let’s be honest: Bad things happen to all of us — even the happiest and most upbeat people on the planet. The thing is, they don’t complain, whine or let pessimism become a self-fulling prophecy. They remain optimistic by focusing on solutions to the problem and reflecting on what they’re grateful for.

11. They’re proactive about relationships.

Evidence suggests that most relationships (especially marriages) decline over time. But, happy people actually work on maintaining these relationships by checking in on loved ones, being active and constructive listeners and not being conversational narcissists.

12. They get enough sleep.

You’ve probably heard this a zillion times. But getting quality sleep is absolutely necessary. If you need a refresher, sleep deprivation can negatively impact your health, productivity and ability to cope with stressful situations. If you have trouble getting a good night’s rest, start by sticking to a sleep schedule, taking advantage of natural light, avoiding bright lights before bed, exercising and not eating or drinking alcohol close to bedtime.

13. They spend time in nature.

Nature has a calming effect and reminds us to slow down, take deep breaths and soak up the present. “People have been discussing their profound experiences in nature for the last several 100 years — from Thoreau to John Muir to many other writers,” said researcher David Strayer, of the University of Utah. “Now, we are seeing changes in the brain and changes in the body that suggest we are physically and mentally more healthy when we are interacting with nature.”

Simply put, take the time stroll through a park, visit the beach or hike a trail.

14. They view problems as challenges.

Happy people have changed their internal dialogue so that when there’s a problem, they view it as a challenge and new opportunity to enhance their lives. In fact, you should just go ahead and eliminate the word “problem” from your mind altogether

15. They reward themselves.

“‘Treats’ may sound like a self-indulgent, frivolous strategy, but it’s not. Because, forming good habits can be draining, treats can play an important role,” wrote Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project.

“When we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for and contented, which boosts our self-command — and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits,” Rubin wrote.

She continued: “Studies show that people who got a little treat, in the form of receiving a surprise gift or watching a funny video, gained in self-control. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish.”

16. They express gratitude.

Research conducted at the University of California-Davis shows that those studied who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude improved their mood and energy, and experienced substantially less anxiety. This is most likely due to lower cortisol levels. So express gratitude every morning, writing in a journal about what you’re thankful for, and occasionally saying “thank you” to your loved ones and colleagues.

17. They dream big.

The happiest individuals dream big and work hard to turn those dreams into achievable goals. They’re committed and disciplined, and they know their iorities: They allow themselves to say “no,” take care of their health, break out of their comfort zones and accept the fact that they may have to start over.

18. They spend time alone.

While relationships are important to one’s happiness, we all need some alone time in order to catch up with, well, ourselves. Spending time alone gives you the chance to unpack your worries and anxieties, reflect on what you’re grateful for and get back on track with your dreams and desires. I try to schedule weekly solo dates, usually first thing in the morning before everyone else is awake, to check in with myself.

19. They don’t make excuses.

It’s incredibly easy to blame someone for your failures. The problem is that this doesn’t allow you to let go and move past those failures. Happy people take responsibility for their mistakes and use that failure as an opportunity to change their lives for the better.

20. They have a growth mindset.

When it comes to personality, individuals fall into one of two camps: those with a fixed mindset or those with a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe you are who you are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s a problem because it prevents them from growing or changing.

People with a growth mindset, however, believe that with a little effort, they can improve, which in turn makes them happy because they’re better suited to cope with and overcome challenges.

21. They spend money on experiences, not material things.

A variety of research sources show that people are happier when buying experiences instead of material items. This is because experiences tend to improve over time; people revisit those experiences more often; experiences can be unique; and they involve social interaction.

Furthermore, materialism can have negative effects. In her book The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky explained: “A mountain of research has shown that materialism depletes happiness; threatens satisfaction with our relationships; harms the environment; renders us less friendly, likable and empathetic; and makes us less likely to help others and contribute to our communities.”

22. They have a morning ritual.

Morning rituals are soothing and set the stage for how your day is going to play out. Whether you’re meditating, going for a walk, reading an inspirational book, writing a gratitude journal, cooking a healthy breakfast or catching-up on emails, it’s important that you create and stick to a morning ritual.

23. They take care of themselves.

Since the body and mind are connected, it makes sense that you if aren’t taking care of yourself physically, you’re going to suffer mentally and emotionally. Start by getting quality sleep every night, eating a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly and finding healthy ways to decompress and alleviate stress.

24. They use their character strengths.

Research has shown that using our “signature strengths” makes us feel happier and more fulfilled. As Shawn Achor explained in his book The Happiness Advantage: “When 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups.

“And these benefits lasted: Even after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full six months later. Studies have shown that the more you use your signature strengths in daily life, the happier you become.”

25. They engage in deep, meaningful conversations.

Happy people skip the small talk and engage in deep conversations. In fact, this has been backed by research. In Pursuing The Good Life, Christopher Peterson wrote: “First, happier participants spent more time talking to others, an unsurprising finding given the social basis of happiness. Second, the extent of small talk was negatively associated with happiness.

“And third, the extent of substantive talk was positively associated with happiness. So, happy people are socially engaged with others, and this engagement entails matters of substance.”

Conclusion

If you want to be happier — and honestly, who doesn’t? — start by mirroring the habits listed above. To make this an enjoyable experience, start by mastering one habit at a time, then quickly move on to the next. You’ll be surprised how amazing you’ll feel!

Source at www.entrepreneur.com

The post 25 Habit of Successful and Extremely Happy People appeared first on Entrepreneurs Success.

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[asiapacificautomotive]

25 Habits of Successful and Extremely Happy People

25 Habits of Successful and Extremely Happy People

Quality sleep, big dreams and meaningful conversations are all part of the mix for those lucky enough to call themselves “happy.”

Here’s what happy people do and don’t do . . .

1. They savor the moment. Do old cliches like “stopping to smell the roses” and “it’s the little things in life” really lead to happiness? Yep. Researchers call this “savoring,” which is all about paying attention to the moment. Instead of multitasking and being focused on the past and future and on the present negativity all around, those of us who are most satisfied with our lives stop to enjoy the beauty and the small, amazing things in life.

2. They meditate daily. Meditation is one of the most effective ways to embark on a path of stillness and mindfulness, which, in turn, gives your mind a much needed break from all those worries and anxieties occupying it. Best of all? It takes only a couple of minutes each day. To start out, you can download an app like Calm, Stop, Breathe & Think, or Insight Timer.

3. They don’t hold on to grudges. Forgiving and forgetting is absolutely necessary when it comes to happiness. The reason? Holding a grudge means that you’re hanging on to anger, resentment, pain and other negative emotions that are roadblocks to happiness. By letting go of these emotions, you free yourself from negativity so there’s more space for positive emotions to get in.

4. They spend money on others. “We’ve shown in our research that giving money to others actually does make people happier,” said Michael Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School and author of Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending. “One of the reasons is that it creates social connections. If you have a nice car and a big house on an island by yourself, you’re not going to be happy, because we need people to be happy. But by giving to another person, you’re . . . creating a connection and a conversation with that person, and those things are really good for happiness.”

I’ve learned myself that true friendships require investment. This doesn’t always mean money, but it does require a lot of your time. Truly happy people spend time (and money) on their relationships: Giftology book and gifting expert John Ruhlin has written about this topic.

5. They’re busy, but not rushed. Research shows that feeling “rushed” can lead to stress and unhappiness. At the same time, people struggle with finding that happy medium of being just busy enough. After all, other studies suggest that a healthy work-life balance is key, since boredom can be burdensome. If you’re over-committed or too scattered, follow this rule entrepreneur Derek Sivers included on his site: “When deciding whether to do something, if you feel anything less than ‘Wow! That would be amazing! Absolutely! Hell yeah!’ — then say ‘no.'”

6. They surround themselves with the right people. Happiness is contagious. This means that when you surround yourself with other people who are happy and supportive, you’ll be able to build self-confidence, boost your creativity and just have more fun in general. On the other end of the spectrum, hanging out with negative people means you’re just another member of their pity party — and that’s exhausting and not much fun.

7. They don’t sweat the small stuff. People who are happy focus their energy and efforts only on things that are truly important and within their control. Remember, getting consumed by the things that you have absolutely no control over is a waste of time that will end up making you lean more toward the miserable side. In other words, master the art of letting it go. 8. They celebrate other people’s success.

It’s no secret that that having both a rich social life and healthy relationships is an important component to happiness. But, happy people nurture and improve their relationships through “active and constructive” responding, which includes celebrating the success of those around them.

As Martin Seligman explained in his book Flourish: “People we care about often tell us about a victory, a triumph, and less momentous good things that happen to them. How we respond can either build the relationship or undermine it. There are four basic ways of responding, only one of which builds relationships.”

9. They treat everyone with respect and kindness. Kindness, like happiness, is contagious. There’s even a name for it: “moral elevation.” A study conducted by researchers at the University of California-Los Angeles, and the universities of Cambridge and Plymouth in the United Kingdom found that witnessing acts of kindness makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. “When you feel this sense of moral ‘elevation,’ not only do you say you want to be a better person and help others,” said Simone Schnall, of Cambridge, the lead researcher. “But you actually do, when the opportunity presents itself.”

10. They’re optimistic. Let’s be honest: Bad things happen to all of us — even the happiest and most upbeat people on the planet. The thing is, they don’t complain, whine or let pessimism become a self-fulling prophecy. They remain optimistic by focusing on solutions to the problem and reflecting on what they’re grateful for.

11. They’re proactive about relationships. Evidence suggests that most relationships (especially marriages) decline over time. But, happy people actually work on maintaining these relationships by checking in on loved ones, being active and constructive listeners and not being conversational narcissists.

12. They get enough sleep. You’ve probably heard this a zillion times. But getting quality sleep is absolutely necessary. If you need a refresher, sleep deprivation can negatively impact your health, productivity and ability to cope with stressful situations. If you have trouble getting a good night’s rest, start by sticking to a sleep schedule, taking advantage of natural light, avoiding bright lights before bed, exercising and not eating or drinking alcohol close to bedtime.

13. They spend time in nature. Nature has a calming effect and reminds us to slow down, take deep breaths and soak up the present. “People have been discussing their profound experiences in nature for the last several 100 years — from Thoreau to John Muir to many other writers,” said researcher David Strayer, of the University of Utah. “Now, we are seeing changes in the brain and changes in the body that suggest we are physically and mentally more healthy when we are interacting with nature.” Simply put, take the time stroll through a park, visit the beach or hike a trail.

14. They view problems as challenges. Happy people have changed their internal dialogue so that when there’s a problem, they view it as a challenge and new opportunity to enhance their lives. In fact, you should just go ahead and eliminate the word “problem” from your mind altogether

15. They reward themselves. “‘Treats’ may sound like a self-indulgent, frivolous strategy, but it’s not. Because, forming good habits can be draining, treats can play an important role,” wrote Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project. “When we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for and contented, which boosts our self-command — and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits,” Rubin wrote. She continued: “Studies show that people who got a little treat, in the form of receiving a surprise gift or watching a funny video, gained in self-control. It’s a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn’t selfish.”

16. They express gratitude. Research conducted at the University of California-Davis shows that those studied who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude improved their mood and energy, and experienced substantially less anxiety. This is most likely due to lower cortisol levels. So express gratitude every morning, writing in a journal about what you’re thankful for, and occasionally saying “thank you” to your loved ones and colleagues.

17. They dream big. The happiest individuals dream big and work hard to turn those dreams into achievable goals. They’re committed and disciplined, and they know their priorities: They allow themselves to say “no,” take care of their health, break out of their comfort zones and accept the fact that they may have to start over.

18. They spend time alone. While relationships are important to one’s happiness, we all need some alone time in order to catch up with, well, ourselves. Spending time alone gives you the chance to unpack your worries and anxieties, reflect on what you’re grateful for and get back on track with your dreams and desires. I try to schedule weekly solo dates, usually first thing in the morning before everyone else is awake, to check in with myself.

19. They don’t make excuses. It’s incredibly easy to blame someone for your failures. The problem is that this doesn’t allow you to let go and move past those failures. Happy people take responsibility for their mistakes and use that failure as an opportunity to change their lives for the better.

20. They have a growth mindset. When it comes to personality, individuals fall into one of two camps: those with a fixed mindset or those with a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe you are who you are, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s a problem because it prevents them from growing or changing.

People with a growth mindset, however, believe that with a little effort, they can improve, which in turn makes them happy because they’re better suited to cope with and overcome challenges. 21. They spend money on experiences, not material things. A variety of research sources show that people are happier when buying experiences instead of material items. This is because experiences tend to improve over time; people revisit those experiences more often; experiences can be unique; and they involve social interaction.

Furthermore, materialism can have negative effects. In her book The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky explained: “A mountain of research has shown that materialism depletes happiness; threatens satisfaction with our relationships; harms the environment; renders us less friendly, likable and empathetic; and makes us less likely to help others and contribute to our communities.”

22. They have a morning ritual. Morning rituals are soothing and set the stage for how your day is going to play out. Whether you’re meditating, going for a walk, reading an inspirational book, writing a gratitude journal, cooking a healthy breakfast or catching-up on emails, it’s important that you create and stick to a morning ritual.

23. They take care of themselves. Since the body and mind are connected, it makes sense that you if aren’t taking care of yourself physically, you’re going to suffer mentally and emotionally. Start by getting quality sleep every night, eating a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly and finding healthy ways to decompress and alleviate stress.

24. They use their character strengths. Research has shown that using our “signature strengths” makes us feel happier and more fulfilled. As Shawn Achor explained in his book The Happiness Advantage: “When 577 volunteers were encouraged to pick one of their signature strengths and use it in a new way each day for a week, they became significantly happier and less depressed than control groups.

“And these benefits lasted: Even after the experiment was over, their levels of happiness remained heightened a full six months later. Studies have shown that the more you use your signature strengths in daily life, the happier you become.”

25. They engage in deep, meaningful conversations. Happy people skip the small talk and engage in deep conversations. In fact, this has been backed by research. In Pursuing The Good Life, Christopher Peterson wrote: “First, happier participants spent more time talking to others, an unsurprising finding given the social basis of happiness. Second, the extent of small talk was negatively associated with happiness.

“And third, the extent of substantive talk was positively associated with happiness. So, happy people are socially engaged with others, and this engagement entails matters of substance.” Conclusion

If you want to be happier — and honestly, who doesn’t? — start by mirroring the habits listed above. To make this an enjoyable experience, start by mastering one habit at a time, then quickly move on to the next. You’ll be surprised how amazing you’ll feel!

source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/297327

25 Habits of Successful and Extremely Happy People was originally published on Auto News, Racing, Car Shows, Bike Weeks & Events

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23 - Things Successful and Extremely Happy People Do

Quality sleep, big dreams and meaningful conversations are all part of the mix for those lucky enough to call themselves "happy."

What's the secret to happiness? 

That can differ according to the person involved. But we do know that happy people have different habits and think differently than those who are miserable. So, the good news is, if you're trying to be one of those happy people, recognize that that desired emotion comes from within and that you have the power to literally turn that frown upside down by mastering some simple habits. But most importantly you need to strict with those habit because if you let loose then you can't control yourself and make hapiness out of every situation.

 Read Also: 5 Businesses You Can Start Now Without Money

Note: Happy people are not the richest people because money cant buy hapiness or fulfilments.

Here's what happy people do and don't do . . .

1. They savor the moment.

Do old cliches like "stopping to smell the roses" and "it's the little things in life" really lead to happiness? Yep.

Researchers call this "savoring," which is all about paying attention to the moment. Instead of multitasking and being focused on the past and future and on the present negativity all around, those of us who are most satisfied with our lives stop to enjoy the beauty and the small, amazing things in life.

2. They meditate daily.

Meditation is one of the most effective ways to embark on a path of stillness and mindfulness, which, in turn, gives your mind a much needed break from all those worries and anxieties occupying it. Best of all? It takes only a couple of minutes each day. To start out, you can spend at least 20minutes to meditate dialy at a very quite place. One of my mentor have a thinkng room in his office and when i asked him why he told me that eveeyday he goes into that room and think for at least 45minutes which is helping stay ahead of his game and happy.

3. They don't hold on to grudges.

Forgiving and forgetting is absolutely necessary when it comes to happiness. The reason? Holding a grudge means that you're hanging on to anger, resentment, pain and other negative emotions that are roadblocks to happiness. By letting go of these emotions, you free yourself from negativity so there's more space for positive emotions to get in.

4. They spend money on others.

"We've shown in our research that giving money to others actually does make people happier," said Michael Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School and author of Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending. "One of the reasons is that it creates social connections. If you have a nice car and a big house on an island by yourself, you're not going to be happy, because we need people to be happy. But by giving to another person, you're . . . creating a connection and a conversation with that person, and those things are really good for happiness."

I've learned myself that true friendships require investment. This doesn't always mean money, but it does require a lot of your time. Truly happy people spend time (and money) on their relationships.

5. They're busy, but not rushed.

Research shows that feeling "rushed" can lead to stress and unhappiness. At the same time, people struggle with finding that happy medium of being just busy enough. After all, other studies suggest that a healthy work-life balance is key, since boredom can be burdensome.

If you're over-committed or too scattered, change your plan and follow them strictly in orderly manner that will help you of been too scattered

6. They surround themselves with the right people.

Happiness is contagious. This means that when you surround yourself with other people who are happy and supportive, you'll be able to build self-confidence, boost your creativity and just have more fun in general. On the other end of the spectrum, hanging out with negative people means you're just another member of their pity party -- and that's exhausting and not much fun.

7. They don't sweat the small stuff.

People who are happy focus their energy and efforts only on things that are truly important and within their control. Remember, getting consumed by the things that you have absolutely no control over is a waste of time that will end up making you lean more toward the miserable side. In other words, master the art of letting it go.

8. They celebrate other people's success.

It's no secret that that having both a rich social life and healthy relationships is an important component to happiness. But, happy people nurture and improve their relationships through "active and constructive" responding, which includes celebrating the success of those around them.

People we care about often tell us about a victory, a triumph, and less momentous good things that happen to them. How we respond can either build the relationship or undermine it. There are four basic ways of responding, only one of which builds relationships."

9. They treat everyone with respect and kindness.

Kindness, like happiness, is contagious. There's even a name for it: "moral elevation." A study conducted by researchers at the University of California-Los Angeles, and the universities of Cambridge and Plymouth in the United Kingdom found that witnessing acts of kindness makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"When you feel this sense of moral 'elevation,' not only do you say you want to be a better person and help others," said Simone Schnall, of Cambridge, the lead researcher. "But you actually do, when the opportunity presents itself."

10. They're optimistic.

Let's be honest: Bad things happen to all of us -- even the happiest and most upbeat people on the planet. The thing is, they don't complain, whine or let pessimism become a self-fulling prophecy. They remain optimistic by focusing on solutions to the problem and reflecting on what they're grateful for.

11. They're proactive about relationships.

Evidence suggests that most relationships (especially marriages) decline over time. But, happy people actually work on maintaining these relationships by checking in on loved ones, being active and constructive listeners and not being conversational narcissists.

12. They get enough sleep.

You've probably heard this a zillion times. But getting quality sleep is absolutely necessary. If you need a refresher, sleep deprivation can negatively impact your health, productivity and ability to cope with stressful situations. If you have trouble getting a good night's rest, start by sticking to a sleep schedule, taking advantage of natural light, avoiding bright lights before bed, exercising and not eating or drinking alcohol close to bedtime.

13. They spend time in nature.

Nature has a calming effect and reminds us to slow down, take deep breaths and soak up the present. "People have been discussing their profound experiences in nature for the last several 100 years -- from Thoreau to John Muir to many other writers," saidresearcher David Strayer, of the University of Utah. "Now, we are seeing changes in the brain and changes in the body that suggest we are physically and mentally more healthy when we are interacting with nature."

Simply put, take the time stroll through a park, visit the beach or hike a trail.

14. They view problems as challenges.

Happy people have changed their internal dialogue so that when there's a problem, they view it as a challenge and new opportunity to enhance their lives. In fact, you should just go ahead and eliminate the word "problem" from your mind altogether

15. They reward themselves.

"'Treats' may sound like a self-indulgent, frivolous strategy, but it's not. Because, forming good habits can be draining, treats can play an important role.

"When we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for and contented, which boosts our self-command -- and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits," Rubin wrote.

She continued: "Studies show that people who got a little treat, in the form of receiving a surprise gift or watching a funny video, gained in self-control. It's a Secret of Adulthood: If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself. Self-regard isn't selfish."

16. They express gratitude.

Research conducted at the University of California-Davis shows that those studied who worked daily to cultivate an attitude of gratitude improved their mood and energy, and experienced substantially less anxiety. This is most likely due to lower cortisol levels. So express gratitude every morning, writing in a journal about what you're thankful for, and occasionally saying "thank you" to your loved ones and colleagues.

17. They dream big.

The happiest individuals dream big and work hard to turn those dreams into achievable goals. They're committed and disciplined, and they know their iorities: They allow themselves to say "no," take care of their health, break out of their comfort zones and accept the fact that they may have to start over.

18. They spend time alone.

While relationships are important to one's happiness, we all need some alone time in order to catch up with, well, ourselves. Spending time alone gives you the chance to unpack your worries and anxieties, reflect on what you're grateful for and get back on track with your dreams and desires. I try to schedule weekly solo dates, usually first thing in the morning before everyone else is awake, to check in with myself.

19. They don't make excuses.

It's incredibly easy to blame someone for your failures. The problem is that this doesn't allow you to let go and move past those failures. Happy people take responsibility for their mistakes and use that failure as an opportunity to change their lives for the better.

20. They have a growth mindset.

When it comes to personality, individuals fall into one of two camps: those with a fixed mindset or those with a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe you are who you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's a problem because it prevents them from growing or changing.

People with a growth mindset, however, believe that with a little effort, they can improve, which in turn makes them happy because they're better suited to cope with and overcome challenges.

21. They spend money on experiences, not material things.

A variety of research sources show that people are happier when buying experiences instead of material items. This is because experiences tend to improve over time; people revisit those experiences more often; experiences can be unique; and they involve social interaction.

Furthermore, materialism can have negative effects. In her book The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky explained: "A mountain of research has shown that materialism depletes happiness; threatens satisfaction with our relationships; harms the environment; renders us less friendly, likable and empathetic; and makes us less likely to help others and contribute to our communities."

22. They have a morning ritual.

Morning rituals are soothing and set the stage for how your day is going to play out. Whether you're meditating, going for a walk, reading an inspirational book, writing a gratitude journal, cooking a healthy breakfast or catching-up on emails, it's important that you create and stick to a morning ritual.

23. They take care of themselves.

Since the body and mind are connected, it makes sense that you if aren't taking care of yourself physically, you're going to suffer mentally and emotionally. Start by getting quality sleep every night, eating a well-balanced diet, exercising regularly and finding healthy ways to decompress and alleviate stress.

Conclusion

If you want to be happier -- and honestly, who doesn't? -- start by mirroring the habits listed above. To make this an enjoyable experience, start by mastering one habit at a time, then quickly move on to the next. You'll be surprised how amazing you'll feel!

  via Blogger http://ift.tt/2vuoAOo

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New Post has been published on http://fitnessandhealthpros.com/beauty/jealousy-is-such-an-energy-suck-10-ways-to-rise-above/

Jealousy Is Such An Energy Suck. 10 Ways to Rise Above

A version of this article previously appeared on Conscious Living TV.

We’ve all been there. Maybe it was the popular cheerleader in high school who seemed to have it all: perfect hair, teeth, and her hunky boyfriend made you wonder if you’d ever outgrow your awkward stage. Or maybe it was the rising star at work who beat you out for the plum promotion you wanted without seeming to break a sweat. Perhaps it’s your facebook ‘friend’ who is chased by a never-ending stream of “Amazing!” selfie-narrated experiences.

Whatever your source of envy, the green monster is no fun companion. Jealousy can not only debilitate your relationships with others, it can also wreak serious havoc on your health.  According to Donna Fremon-Powell, certified Guided Imagery Therapist in La Habra, California, emotions like anger, jealousy, hate, and resentment produce a chemical that’s very similar to arsenic. “Simply put, your negative emotions are poisonous.”

Catch a whiff of mystery musk on your lover’s jacket and your stomach drops as if it’s in free fall. Hear a competitor’s gloating acceptance speech and your heart pounds. Watch a confident pal steal your crush and your hands may suddenly begin to tremble. When it comes to your health, jealousy is no joke. Here are some of the effects this poisonous emotion can have on different parts of the body:

Your Brain. Imagine your partner in bed with a new lover or compare your resume to that of a longtime rival and your amygdala, insula, and anterior cingulate cortex–the neural nodes of fear, anger, and disgust–swing into high gear, explains neuroscientist Hidehiko Takahashi of Kyoto University. Courtesy of the anterior cingulate cortex, the social pain of jealousy is experienced in much the same way as physical pain.

Your Stomach. Overhear your boss praise the company’s new wunderkind and your lunch looks a whole lot less delicious. The threat of a challenger who could leave you jobless–or single–activates a fear reaction in the amygdala, triggering the fight-or-flight response that ramps up production of adrenaline and noradrenaline, explains Frank John Ninivaggi, a psychiatrist at Yale’s Child Study Center. The result? Lack of appetite and nausea.

Your Eyes. Worried your spouse might be unfaithful? If so, you’re likely to find yourself staring down potential rivals–especially attractive ones. According to recent research in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people who are consistently jealous of a possibly philandering partner pay closer attention to good-looking members of their own sex and form stronger memories of what they look like than those who are not.

Your Heart. According to Jonathan Dvash, a neuroscientist at the University of Haifa, the sympathetic nervous system buckles under the stress of jealousy, quickening the heart and spiking blood pressure. Left unchecked over time, this could lead to hypertension and heart disease.

Holding onto jealousy isn’t worth heart failure. By managing your emotions more consciously, you can work to overcome envy and step into a more empowered, amazing you. Here’s how:

Start Living Your Dream. Each one of us is put on this earth to fulfill a special purpose, big or small. Some call this dharma, or sacred duty: a unique, divinely appointed gift you were born to share with the world. If you don’t know your purpose or aren’t willing to risk taking the journey to find out, it can be emotionally debilitating to witness someone else fulfill theirs. Instead, do the work to start building your own special dream. Start by taking any step in the right direction, and you’ll soon find yourself too busy pursuing your unique talents, passions, and interests to keep score of anyone else’s.

Be Authentic. Being fake is a sure sign you might be suppressing your best self, which can trigger a desire to suppress others’ success, confidence or good fortune. By becoming more aware of your authentic thoughts, feelings, and attitudes in the moment, and giving yourself permission to honestly express them  – even if unpopular – you’ll free yourself to let your own light shine.

Practice Self-Care. The saying goes: if you don’t love yourself, it’s impossible to love someone else. Self-care includes anything that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit. For me, yoga, meditation, and aromatherapeutic baths make me feel happier, grounded and secure. For you, it may be cooking, gardening, finger painting or going on long walks in the woods. Self-destructive behavior, like getting drunk or high or spending time with negative people, doesn’t count. Do what truly nourishes you and you’ll find yourself feeling too happy to hate on someone else.

Surround Yourself with Positive People. Experts agree that you become an average of the five people you spend the most time with, so if you’re not happy with any part of your life, it’s time to take a closer look at your social circle. Be honest: how many are positive, life-affirming individuals who want nothing more than to see you reach your fullest potential? How many are chronically unhappy, gossiping, haters? If you find yourself surrounded by negative Nancy’s, it’s time to press the refresh button on your social circle.

Keep a Gratitude Journal. It may sound hokey, but each day it’s important to schedule time to write down at least ten things in your life you’re grateful for. Maybe it’s your health, your family, the sunshine, or just being able to get out of bed another day. For extra credit, list 10 things about yourself that you appreciate. Practicing gratitude makes it easier to focus on what you have, instead of what you don’t.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others. We live on a planet with over 7 billion other human beings, so statistically, it’s likely there will always be someone smarter, skinnier, richer, cuter, more spiritual and more “fabulous” than you. But this is simply how they appear on the outside. No one’s life is as perfect as it seems on the surface – or on facebook. Behind the scenes, their life could be a total mess, so why compare your insides to someone else’s outsides?

Let Go of Entitlement. As infants, we’re taught that the world revolves around us: all we have to do is frown or cry and our needs are met without having to lift a finger. While this lazy worldview works wonders as a baby, it can be disastrous as an adult. No one is entitled to anything they didn’t work for. If you want something, be willing to sacrifice, be disciplined, take the risk and work hard to get it, or you will inevitably begrudge someone else who has. Behind every jealous person is someone fundamentally angry at themselves for falling short of their own personal best.

Practice Detachment. There’s nothing wrong with having desires, but attachment to them creates suffering. Unhealthy attachments to people, places, and things cause us to live in a constant state of false control and fear that we might lose the object of our desire. This creates a perfect breeding ground for envious thoughts and behaviors, like keeping score with others. By moving through life freely, detached to the outcome of our actions, we remain free, unencumbered and at peace.

Give Props.  Instead of secretly sinking into the miry clay whenever you meet someone with blessings you wish were yours, get it off your chest. Don’t hate, congratulate! Tell them exactly why you admire them. It’s your ego, not your divine Self, that wants to withhold affirming another’s goodness. Stop hoarding the love! Give someone deserving their props. Being honest and getting these feelings off your chest will prevent them from festering into resentment and envy, freeing up the energy you will need to create great things in your own life. 

Meditate. Going inward with even a brief daily meditation practice will help you get in touch with some of the deeper issues that may be weighing on your heart more than Mr./Miss Perfect or having more money or fame. By focusing on your Spirit – the eternal part of you that transcends personality, your resumé, outer success and failures – you’ll be less drawn to look outside for external, short-lived validation that will always fall short of satisfying the deepest yearnings of your soul.

How do you overcome the green monster?

Also by Bianca: Mentally Blocked? 10 Ways To Raise Your Vibes & Fuel Your Creative Spirit

How I Learned To Love My Nappy Roots After Years of Chemical Relaxers

Related: How Your Social Media Identity Hurts Your Real Self

Get more like this—Subscribe to our daily inspirational newsletter for exclusive content!

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Photo: Pexels, Conscious Living TV

Bianca Alexander is the host and creative director of Conscious Living, a broadcast TV program showcasing inspiring news in natural health, spirituality and the yoga lifestyle. The show now airs in 60+ markets across the U.S. and via the web on AoL, HuffPo and other conscious platforms. Follow Bianca on Instagram @consciouslivingtv .

Originally at :Peaceful Dumpling Written By : Bianca Alexander

#Above, #Energy, #Jealousy, #Rise, #Such, #Suck, #Ways #Beauty

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

🏰⚔️ DMODT- 13 start

Sneaking around the castle, Levi felt young again. All of Marley had been surprised to see him up and about after the tournament, especially Zeke. The man had been propped up during dinner, favouring his left side, while trying to hide his pain. Levi had no such problem. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so relaxed, or refreshed. If this was what sex with Eren was like, he could see why the alphas of the court never looked displeased with their omega charges. It was slightly thrilling to have a younger lover, and slightly thrilling to let himself have said lover. It was so completely out of character for him, that even if their "secret" was to get out, no one could possibly believe it. Over the next few days, each time they met in the library, Levi would steal a few moments for himself with Eren. Whether it be brushing the teen's hair back, so he could read over Eren's shoulder, or covering him with his jacket as Eren hadn't worn warm enough clothes, it all made him feel at peace. For a purely sexual relationship, it was tough to remember that... especially when they seemed to be so compatible, now that he'd finally allowed Eren in. It was now the night of the Ball, and Levi was surrounded by young women and men professing their loved. Each hoping for the elevation of status wedding a "royal" would bring, yet none of them prepared for what being a "royal" truly meant. Eren was different though. He showed him respect, but wasn't after money or title. He didn't suck up to him, nor ask for favours, and most importantly, he had no expectations of more than what they had. He'd seen Eren at the opening of the Castle for the event, the brat's magic shining brighter than every other mages, but he'd soon lost sight of him once the sky show was complete. It'd been at least an hour, and Levi couldn't rid his gut of the feeling something was wrong. He couldn't move though. Zeke had once again occupied the kings throne, and was entertaining his own circle of blushing women. While Levi was flittering around the Ball room with his crowd, attempting to find Eren, and attempting to avoid a rather persistent thorn in his side. Somehow, Zeke had met Petra Ral, an accomplished female soldier of the Eldia army, and somehow, Zeke had managed to make her think that Levi had an interest in her. Petra had always been pleasant enough to deal with. Her and the squad she worked with were stationed down as dock security, to the south of the island. They'd been summoned the castle by Erwin to discuss the discrepancies in shipping, and had stayed to compete in the tournament. Unfortunately for Petra, Levi really couldn't be bothered with her. Petra didn't know that he wasn't the crown prince, or that he was now a package deal with Eren. They'd only had sex twice, that day of the tournament, but they'd stolen small kisses in the hall, and Levi's heart had leapt each time. Sidestepping Petra, Levi nearly walked straight into Olou, another member of the dock squad. The man's goblet of wine spilling as Petra pushed him out the way, and grabbed Levi's arm in the process. Could she be anymore obvious. Her touch against his sleeve completely unwanted "Oh no. You didn't get any on you, did you, Erwin?" "No, though I can't say the same about you, Petra" Olou's wine had spilt down the side of Petra's deep green dress. It was barely noticeable, but Petra looked upset "Olou!" "You should have been watching where you were going. You're a soldier and need to conduct yourself as such" Right. Olou was annoying like that. If the man stepped back, and stopped trying to sound like the perfect soldier, he'd be more pleasant to deal with. Not that the man wasn't an exemplary soldier. That's why he was in the dock squad "Petra, why don't you have one of the mages see if they can lift the stain. Olou, why don't you accompany her? I am sorry, but I do need to greet others" "It's fine..." "No, no. I insist" Pulling his black sleeve free from the woman, he brushed it off as he practically ran from her. Women could be scarily persistent. When he saw Hanji, he actually sought her company out in order to save himself from Petra. Reaching Hanji and Moblit, Hanji pushed a drink into his hand as she smiled "You look like you need it" Nodding, Levi drained it. He was so done, and the party had only just begun "You have no idea. Have either of you seen Eren?" "Lose him already?" Levi scowled. Shitty Glasses should know better than that "It's not like that. Zeke is planning something, and Eren has gone missing. I can't go find him, thanks to Zeke" "Oh... No. I can't say I've seen him. Have you, Moblit?" Moblit shook his head "Would you like me to go have a look?" "No. No. Just keep an eye on Zeke's people... I can't help feeling like something..." Levi's sentence trailed off, the alpha turning as he felt Eren's presence. The teen was clutching his robes awkwardly, while looking panicked "Is he ok?" "I don't know..." Eren didn't seem ok. Levi could put his finger on what it was, but it was just... something was off "What do we do?" "Take him to my quarters and have the guards make sure he doesn't leave. Something's not right" "Your quarters?" "Even if I'm not in my room, there are still guards in the hall" "Ok. We'll stay with him" "Thanks. But make sure you don't put yourselves in any danger..." "Pfft. I'm careful as can be" "Says the woman who once blew her own lab up. Moblit, I'm trusting you to keep them both in line" "Whaaa... you're so mean!" Why didn't Hanji get that if Zeke was moving, things could go from bad to worse in a heartbeat?! Pushing between the pair, he angrily snapped "Hanji. This isn't a joke!" * Eren had had an eventful night, and now he was stuck waiting for Levi to return to his room. It'd all started with sky show. He'd been intending to join the crowd in the Ball room, when he'd caught sight of Zeke's men walking the castle halls. Naturally, his curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he'd found himself creeping through the castle until he'd found himself in an area he hadn't been in. Watching the soldier entering the room, the castle had been left understaffed with all the attention being on the Ball. It was only a few moments later, that two trunks were moved out the room. Eren growling to himself over how easily all of this had been. There was a reason guards were supposed to be stationed throughout the castle, and it was to prevent blatant disrespecting this. Whatever they were retrieving had been prepared by someone before time, the soldiers laughing to themselves over how clueless Eldia was. Both trunks were the kind that all the Marley party were using, and the kind stacked near the servant's entry to be packed in the morning, before Zeke's party headed out. Concentrating his magic, Eren tried to get a read on the contents, but he hadn't mastered any of that yet. Walking through the steps as he thought a book would, he came up with nothing... and it was rather frustrating to realise that everything he'd been learning since "bonding" with Levi, came up short. He was trying his hardest. Levi couldn't teach him, the man far too busy, but he supported him the only way he could, by making sure he didn't over do it. He'd been proud to see his skills slowly growing. Each small spell that worked, made him want to rush to Levi to show him. To show him that the faith he'd placed in him wasn't misplaced, and that he really was working hard to be useful around the castle. Following the soldiers carrying the trunk, Eren didn't even think to silence his moves, or to do something about the rustling of his stupid robes. All he was focused on was solving the mystery of what Marley had been up to. He was young and he was stupid. He was one mage, in a part of the castle he didn't know, thinking himself smarter than four trained soldiers with a plan. Losing sight of them as they moved the trunks around the corner, he rushed forward. The blow landing across the face dropped him before he knew what was happening. His magic flaring around him, as he became a human kicking bag to the laughing soldiers. Silently he cried out to Levi, but at the same time prayed the alpha wouldn't come. He didn't want to be the cause of an international incident. He was just a mage, and not someone worth jeopardising hundreds of lives for. At some point he must have passed out, his magic working to heal him while he was unconscious. Angered, he dragged himself off the floor, definitely feeling the throb of still healing wounds, as he pushed himself forward. Marley had made the wrong move thinking he'd take his beating then move on. He wasn't going to let them steal from anything else from Eldia.