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sixstepsaway · 2 years

Note

Great post about purity culture in fandom! If you don't mind me adding on, I think another major contributor is Baby's First Literary Criticism. It as been common online to see people critiquing media through queer, feminist, etc. perspectives, and a push for diversity and positive representation of marginalized groups. Problem is, they use that purity culture framing instead of viewing these issues at the complicated, nuanced matters they are. It doesn't allow room for a particular piece of media to be good in one way or lacking in another. It doesn't take into account that one person from a marginalized group's real experience is another's tired trope. If you try hard enough you can make everything problematic. For example, is it reasonable to argue that Ed is a problematic stereotype of as moc because he is a violent pirate? Well, it's a pirate show about pirates. Lucius might be considered the 'gay best friend' for constantly giving advice, but does that really count when all his friends are also gay? And this stuff is so nuanced it's easy to pick and choose what argument is affective against your least favorite show/character/ship/etc. Voila, now everyone who likes, uh, Blackhands is a racist, homophobic, misogynistic abuse apologist. -dd anon

Oh you are absolutely right and you should say it.

I saw someone saying how nice it is to have OFMD because until OFMD the only queer shows we had were things like Queer as Folk and they said how Queer as Folk was bad rep and cringe and bad

and I wanted to scream because Queer as Folk is not bad rep! QaF was representative of a lot of gay communities. Queer people didn't have marriage equality and couldn't adopt, so they didn't ride the heterosexual relationship escalator instinctively, and so their lives ended up looking entirely different. Club culture and promiscuity was a big part of queer culture even as recently as 2005 (and I would argue it still is) and a lot of that is to do with the conversations that go on at those places about consent or just because going to a gay club you are surrounded by other queer people, instead of having to hope and pray someone is like you at a coffee shop.

Good rep vs bad rep is a reductive argument, in my eyes. The issue is quantity rather than quality, which I realize is backwards to how it usually is, but... in a show like OFMD, where you have [frantic finger counting] I'm willing to say fourteen main characters all of which are stated word of god to be queer in some way? One of them bodying the trope of 'gay best friend' doesn't actually matter

because he's just one among many. I'm-- Okay, my labels are many because my brain is a mess, but to boil it down to something simple I'm a bi ace agender/maybe genderfluid person (idk i havent dug enough into my gender stuff yet i've been putting it off like a knitting project), and I do not fucking care about the discourse around Toni Topaz or Jughead Jones

let me explain: in Riverdale there are two characters I just mentioned. Toni Topaz is bisexual and Jughead Jones in the original comics was asexual but has been in sexual and romantic relationships in the TV show.

Lots of people yell that Jughead isn't rep and he could've been, how upset they are he wasn't made ace like the comics, etc etc

I don't because I am an ace person who has had sex and relationships and plans to do so in the future

so Jughead boning Betty in s1 does not bad ace rep make. He's never looked at Betty or whoever and gone (as far as I know, I'm behind on the show), "Man, I am so cishet. I am so sexually attracted to you in an allosexual manner." though I wouldn't put it past the writers to have him say something like that lmao

so maybe he isn't sexually attracted to her but enjoys sex with her anyway. Maybe he isn't romantically attracted to her but loves her anyway (though asexual =/= aromantic but that's beside the point)

and Toni Topaz has been criticized for being a "slutty bisexual stereotype" or whatever, but... she's fine? She's just... a person living her life? She fucks Jughead, she fucks her girlfriend, she fucks... idk, I think she has a boyfriend now I'M BEHIND OKAY

to me that isn't bad rep it's just... a character. Potentially not a well-written character because Riverdale (again, I am behind, maybe it's not as bad as I imagine) but still just... a character

When the 100 killed off Lexa, the issue wasn't that they killed A Lesbian, the issue was they killed the only lesbian, thus taking away 100% of the lesbians from that show at the time (though I think Niylah became a main character later? I don't know. She was just a one or two-off at the time iirc). plus the writer was a toxic piece of shit about lexa and wielded her as a way of getting his follower count up on twitter and then killed her off but that too is beside the point

We don't need good rep or to delete all bad rep from the universe. We need more rep, period. We need more lesbians and more gays and more bis and more queers and more people of color and so on. We need shows with diverse casts to be so common we don't have a metric fucktonne of people looking at OFMD and hoping for Perfect Rep because it's all they're getting.

Queer as Folk's characters felt real. They felt like real people. Brian's fear of getting old (I had the realization the other day that he was, in fact, 29, and I nearly cried), Mikey's fear of being alone, Ben's fear of bringing Mikey down with him, Justin's fear of never being loved, etc etc. None of them were good or bad rep, they just were, much like the characters in OFMD.

Assuming the party line of 'Izzy is a homophobic homosexual', are (general) you telling me you've never met a homophobic homosexual in your life? Bet you have. Lots of us have. Izzy isn't good or bad rep, he's just a guy, and a guy who could easily exist in real life, flaws and warts and all. Violent men of color exist just as much as cute lute-playing men of color do.

Good rep is not a goal we will ever achieve because the goalposts will always change. The quantity of rep, the variety of characters of color, the variety of queer characters, the variety of queer characters of color are what matters the most.

We need more rep, not to be cherrypicking and pruning the rep that looks a little ugly on the outside to some people.

Real people look ugly on the outside to some people, too.

#fandom discourse #purity culture #izzy's dd anon #also anon do you ever sleep #i feel like you're always around #are you hydrated?#take care of yourself please nonnie #we care about you #ask

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the-other-art-blog · 2 years

Note

I read the whole original script for Little Women 2019 and you're so right. It is so much better, so much more true to the book. What do you think happened there?

Hi! I know right!

First, it seems like Greta never liked Bhaer, at least that’s what she kept repeating. He just didn’t fit in her idea of Jo and LW. But for the sake of adapting LW she had to put him into the script. I think there was some level of understanding of what Bhaer meant for Jo, though. It’s so weird.

Actually, the final script is very contradictory. And we see it in the film. First there is that lovely scene where Jo and Fritz dance and hug with lovely music and golden lighting. But then, the filter turns blue and Bhaer becomes a villain. Not even in her movie did I understood what did he do wrong. Was he brutally honest? Yes! But wasn’t Jo the one who say she liked strong words that mean something?

Gerwig also had Oscars aspirations.

She had already been close to be nominated for Lady Bird and a lot of people felt she was snubbed.

So, how do you not let that happen again? You make noise. You take a deeply beloved and popular story and transform it to fit the 21st century “feminist” agenda. You know many people don’t like the ending, so they won’t be angry for changing it. You spent the entire press tour talking about how only you understood Jo and LMA, how it is only in your movie that Jo gets the ending Alcott wanted, how you free Jo from that horrible old, ugly German man who only cut her wings. She even altered one of Jo’s dream of opening a school FOR BOYS and make it a school for girls. Again, she did this to fit her “feminist” agenda, cause it wouldn’t be feminist to open a school for boys, right? Who cares if Jo never really had any girl-friends, made fun of girly manners, and even in the sequels she keeps preferring boys over girls. Not to mention she literally says she likes “manly men”.

I swear I felt at some point she believed to be LMA reincarnated.

Plus, you put some of those thoughts into Amy’s character and get praised for making the character “likeable”, even if you alter important facts about her and made her Laurie’s toy.

She could have made noise by casting a brown skinned actor for Laurie and addressing the immigration and racist issues in the Victorian era. She could have addressed more adult themes, but that risked box office numbers.

Someone else pointed this out already, but Gerwig really spent most of the movie saying women don’t need men. Yet in the last 10 minutes, the story becomes a conflict between two sisters over a man! And not even a great man. Laurie has no growth in this movie.

Again, it’s so contradictory. First Jo insists she doesn’t love Laurie in a romantic way, prompting people to say she’s lesbian or asexual/aromantic. But then when she tears apart the letter, the script says she’s saying goodbye to her “childhood love”. WTF! And let’s not forget she cast Timothée Chalamet and Saoirse Ronan, who people already ship.

TBH, most of these problems were already there in the first draft. But it was still better.

You gotta give it to her, it worked like magic.

The movie did pretty well at the box office. And, people were furious that she didn’t get nominated. They were shouting “fuck you” at the Golden Globes. Even Natalie Portman included her in her cape with all the female directors that weren’t nominated. But she did got one for the script. And because the Academy knew people would get even angrier if she went home empty handed, they gave her Costume Design (not deserving!). When you compare this movie with the rest of the nominees, it had absolutely no chance. It was the weakest movie.

Additionally, she got the Barbie movie as a director!

The praise from the cast was so over the top. Even before realizing how bad this movie was, I thought it was way too much. Lady Bird is not that much of a revelation and many thought it was just another white feminist story.

Anyway, thanks anon for this question!

#little women #boy does Florence knows how to kiss ass #Timothee and Saoirse too #little women 2019 #greta gerwig #this turn out to be longer than expected #also #I'm back at posting for LW

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levathia · 3 years

Text

Forgive me those who'll find this AU rather strange

NEW DEMON SLAYER AU EXPLANATION

FEMALE (Y/N) CHARACTER INTRODUCTION

NOTE:

Regular Font - Speaking in Japanese

Bold - Speaking in a different language

Italic - Thoughts / Thinking

The Concepts in this AU Includes:

Magic

Fantasy

Witch

Witchcraft

Supernatural

Modern Reader

Time Traveler

AU Explanation: You do not originate from the time of the Demon Slayers. In this Alternate Universe, you are a girl who was born in 2006 in Australia. Before your drug addicted mother died from an overdose, she never once mentioned the special secret that your family had unless it was just to play with you. As a child, you wished so bad to be the main character with cool superpowers, but of course as you matured you slowly let that fantasy go. But it wasn't until after you turned 13 when you randomly remembered that Witchcraft was indeed a thing and felt nothing but interest for it.

You don't know how or why you suddenly felt drawn to it, but you really didn't care. If anything, you were the only person who you knew didn't find Witchcraft that big of a deal. You thought that everyone should just accept it and find it normal. Your interest grew very slowly, and it was only until a few weeks after turning 14 when you decided in the middle of school that when you got home, you'd start your research on its history and it's differences. Then, when you felt like you were well educated and ready, you'd finally start to practice it.

But, of course, good timing wasn't on your side that often. In fact, nothing ever went as planned for you in your life. On that same day, you had gotten into yet another argument with your abusive, alcoholic father. Not to mention, it was right in front of your closest friend, Lydia. You trusted her with your thoughts and interests within Witchcraft and therefore, told her all about it.

And lucky for you, she grew an interest in it as well.

She happened to come home with you on that day as you both expected your father to be passed out on the floor during most of the time, but of course, on important days like this, your father just had to be awake and fully functioning. It wasn't even the alcohol that made him act so violently towards you, it was your plain existence, the alcohol would just make it even worse. Your guys' fight was one of the biggest you'd have yet again, and it got so heated to the point where you'd snatch Lydia's wrist and drag her to the nearest room for safety. The nearest room was your father's, you didn't care if he'd become even more mad at the fact that you were now violating his privacy, you just wanted to make sure that Lydia would be safe and you wouldn't become even more humiliated than you already were by getting a full on beating in front of her. If you had to knock your father out in front of her, then damn would it suck to be him.

After locking the door, you quickly started to look around for objects that you could defend yourselves with. You armed Lydia with two empty and thick bottles of alcohol and made it clear that if he dared approach her with the intention of harming her, then to smack the lights out of the man. The next place to look into was under his bed, and that was when you spotted a strange object. Despite the loud banging and yelling from outside of the room and feeling every bit of panic and fear that Lydia was feeling(As the poor Empath you were), you felt drawn to the object and didn't mind giving it a minute of your attention. The object really wasn't that strange, it shouldn't have been.

It was just strange for your brainless and ignorant father to have something that other actual, open-minded, intellectuals would also have laying all over the place.

It was a book. A really old, dusty and thick book. It had no title on it but it did have a name and date.

Greta Ricco

January 1, 1790

Ricco was your father's last name, but you always stuck with your mother's. Even though they both severely disappointed you as a daughter, you'd rather be with your narcissistic mother than with your hateful and ignorant and pitiful excuse of a human you were, as you'd say, cursed, to call your father.

'1790??' You thought to yourself in surprise,'How is this not in a museum?'

You gently flipped the book open and read it's first page

'Hmm, it's in Italian…' Good thing you decided to educate yourself on your Italian blood without any of your father's help as the independent girl you were

"This book belongs to all of the future descendants of the Ricco family. For the blood of our Witch ancestors runs through our veins"

Your father was a witch? But how come he'd never brought it up?

"The ------ in this book will only work for those who possess their blood. To whoever the owner is of this book, you are to do whatever you can to hide it from nonwitches"

Curious, (Y/n) flipped to the next page

"Sleeping"

Under the title were little paragraphs of words arranged in a poetic type of format. You continued to flip through its pages until one caught your eye.

"Time Stopping"

"(Y/n)"

You started to read the Italian texts in your mind.

"(Y/n)..."

For some reason, you felt intrigued by the strange poem. You basically poured your emotions into every word of it.

"(Y/n)!"

Lydia reached her hand out to you and before she was able to touch you, you had already finished reading the poem. And at the same time, the banging had stopped, and the whole house was once again silent. You looked up at Lydia, and she too was staring at the door, wondering why your father suddenly stopped trying to break in.

"Why did he stop?" Lydia asked

"I don't know…" You replied as you continued to look through the book

"Time Traveling"

'Eh?' You thought to yourself,'Time traveling?' Once again, you started to read the 'Poem' in your head

You read the words with emotion, not knowing what was awaiting you and your friend at the end of it. Once you finished off the last stanza, well, you couldn't really find the words to explain what had happened next. It was as if you and Lydia had teleported. You were just in your father's bedroom one second and in the next, a forest.

"What the fuck?!?!" Lydia exclaimed,"What the hell- Where- (Y/n) what just happened?! Weren't we just in your home?!??"

All you could do at that moment was just stare blankly at absolutely nothing with wide eyes. That one word that you couldn't read on the first page of the book was unable to be read because you never thought about its Italian translation. This wasn't some diary from a distant relative of yours, nor was it a book of poems. This was a book of spells. It can only explain why your family's witch bloodline was mentioned in it.

And from what you could assume from the first page, you were a witch since birth.

You guys couldn't go back home now. No matter how many times you had tried. You had just discovered your powers and were still clearly unable to control them.

To make a long story short, you and your friend eventually found your way around and got used to the new environment and Era. One day, you and your friend decide to use the Teleportation spell to admire Japan's beauty. There, you two met a teenager by the name: Kagaya Ubuyashiki. You three grew close, and eventually you told him about your secret. Luckily, he kept it to himself and you even promised to use your abilities to an advantage to survive one of the most dangerous Eras in Japan, that you two didn't even know you were currently living in. The Taisho Era.

If your father or the global pandemic wasn't going to kill you, the demons sure as hell would. Because you still couldn't master your witch abilities and knew that you had to be able to defend yourselves if you were to ever run into a demon, you guys decided to join the Demon Slayer Corps. It was the corps that Kagaya was currently leading. Years went by, and you and Lydia never aged mentally or physically. Your wounds from the day you discovered the spell book never healed.

But your skills grew, and you were ready to defeat demons with or without the help of magic. You started to view Kagaya as both a best friend and a father figure for you. You were there to welcome the rest of the Hashira after they earned their spots and because of your thoughtful, caring, bright and energetic personality, you got along with all of them very well. You and Lydia lived together in your own, huge mansion, that could only be accessed whenever you use the spell that you made just for it. It was only Kagaya, his daughters and the Hashira that knew about your and Lydia's secret.

You'd think that you would be the Pillar of Magic. But Lydia took that title, and instead, you were given the title of: the Pillar of Positivity. In this Alternate Universe, you are a 14 year old, iconic, Gen Z, Australian girl who is full of optimism, humor, hope, open-mindedness, confidence, love and compassion, power and badassery. Unlike Shinobu, your smiles and happiness are genuine, you are as happy as a person can get. In the Demon Slayer Corps, you are either known as the Pillar of Positivity or the Moon Pillar, inspired by the line:

"You must be the moon, because you shine even when it's dark."

Being (Y/n) in my Demon Slayer AU Includes:

-Being Asexual/Aromantic af

-Yet shamelessly flirting with your friends and strangers 24/7

-"(Y/n), you're such a tease~!!" Zenitsu would whine

-Sending letters written on beautiful rose petals that you got from your oversized roses from your oversized garden

-Mother mode activated a fair amount of times

-Pillar of Positivity😊

-Being able to make everyone laugh without having to harm anyone

-Everyone loves your cooking and baking and look forward to it all the time

-Being surprisingly strong for a girl your size

-Accidentally roasting Lydia and the trio sometimes

-ZENITSU PROTECTION SQUAD-

-Being just as close to Nezuko

-Teaching Tanjiro and Muichiro the most out of everyone else about the 21st century

-Everyone by now is used to your and Lydia's Gen Z asses

-Going on rides with the trio and Nezuko at night on your big, flying lion and cat(Future scenarios will include explanations as to how you have such majestic creatures)

-So much affection to give and that's why you and Mitsuri get along so much

-Besties with the Master😁

-Being goofy af

-You just can't get pissed off😊

-You curse people with no hesitation and any second chances

-Badass

-"Slash my face, I'll slash your neck."

-Most of your injuries can heal within a day(Will always depend on its severity)

-Though, you can control the speed of its regeneration

-Nobody except for Tanjiro and Lydia know about your hobby for singing and dancing

-You're also a really great artist(You mostly draw your friends🥺)

-Animal and plant whisperer

-Meditating with Tanjiro

-Always a clingy thing but once you're done being touchy you're DONE

-Great at acting and keeping secrets

-The mind fucker, prankster, you love to fuck with peoples minds

-The most clever and iconic of them all

-Will always be like everyone's mom/caretaker

-But at the same time very childish

-Everyone knows when you're joking or not

-Unless you're pulling a little prank

-Inappropriate jokes with Sanemi all the time

-Thinks it'll always be only up to you when it comes to saving and helping people

-Has a habit of head patting and ruffling other people's hair

-If they aint distracted by your beauty or your outfit(Author gave you quite the taste in fashion😌), then they'll be distracted by your eyes

-You've had Complete Heterochromia since you were seven from an injury that your father gave you

-So instead of having two, (E/c) eyes, only one of them remain a beautiful (E/c) shade while the other had turned into a beautiful blue shade

-But you've started lying and telling everyone that it was just because of your genes

-And they all believe you

-Except for Lydia, you two have been close since kindergarten(two years before you were injured)

-Thoughts you've had of either you or your friends:

'Okay, Pillar of Bitchiness…'

'I'm the Pillar of Dumbassery'

'I'm the Pillar of Badbitchery!'

'What are you? The Pillar of Negativity?'

'Ugh, we should be the Pillars of Cuteness'

-Supportive friend🥺

-Never fails at lifting the mood or other peoples moods no matter how bad things get

-If anything, most of the characters would want to come to you just for comfort(you're great at it😊)

-Perfectionist when something's under your responsibility

-Good at holding your laughter in(Most of the time at least)

-The entertainer of your friend group

-Demon fights are just full of Inosuke's laughter and you smirking

-Can set objects and people on fire with your mind

⚠️🚨ONE MANGA SPOILER RIGHT BELOW THIS TEXT🚨⚠️ ⚠️🚨ONE MANGA SPOILER RIGHT BELOW THIS TEXT🚨⚠️

-It was only after Muichiro's death when you finally became skilled at turning your emotions on and off

-Your guts will always tell you if someone's lying or not no matter what

-Its almost as if people can't even imagine you being in a bad mood

-You're an Empath

-Always spoiling your lovely friends

-In easy words, you're just very well-rounded and unrealistic as a human being😌

PLEASE READ BISSES:

I am not planning on making a whole story/fanfiction of this with full chapters. I do not take requests as well💗.

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novoaa1writes · 3 years

Text

valentine’s

pairing(s): yelena belova x reader

summary:

you’re already having kind of a shitty day to begin with. hell, you don’t even realize it’s valentine’s day until—

well, that’s not important.

the important part comes later, when yelena shows up unannounced on your doorstep beaten half to hell and clutching a mangled bouquet of white roses.

contains: fluff

word count: ~1,000

rating: teen

warnings: sleep deprivation, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of drunk and disorderly arrests, implied/referenced police brutality, guns, mild blood

notes: reader is explicitly stated to be not only poc but also non-white-passing.

— —

edit: this was written before it was brought to my attention that yelena is canonically asexual (and arguably aromantic). i will not be writing any other yelena fics which feature her in a non-platonic dynamic for the time being. please feel free to private message me if you have any questions, or wish to shed some light on this discourse!

— —

It’s something like 8:00 on a Sunday night, and you’re absolutely exhausted. It’s been… what, a solid 36 hours since you last slept? More, maybe?

Saturday night saw you cancelling last-minute on a highly-anticipated (and much-needed) girls’ night out in favor of going to bail your younger brother out of jail. Your younger brother, who lived in Providence, yet had somehow found his way to a police district in the heart of Boston before nightfall.

The charges weren’t anything crazy—just public intoxication and resisting arrest… stupid stuff, really. Though, considering your brother’s visibly non-white complexion (a near identical match unto your own), that second one easily surpassed stupid to border on downright imbecilic.

Needless to say, you were at Penn Station by 7:00, and on a train to Boston by 7:55.

You didn’t sleep on the train. You couldn’t.

11:30 saw you disembarking at South Station, then taking the T directly to the precinct, ice-cold dread chilling your body from the inside out.

You were there by midnight, and when you finally laid eyes upon him—hammered and a little banged up but ultimately alive—you felt a weight lift from your chest. Stacks of endless paperwork and five-fucking-grand later, you were finally permitted to leave.

You took his ass straight back to South Station and dragged him forcibly onto the next Providence-bound train. One hour later found you sitting side-by-side in a waiting room that reeked of antiseptic at something like 2:30am—waiting for his intake papers to go through.

He’d been there before—Greener Pastures, an addiction recovery treatment center. (AKA rehab.) Twice, actually.

You couldn’t help feeling like an idiot for praying it might stick this time.

Intake was slow, but they’d accepted him into the program (again) by 3:15.

You were back at Providence Station by 4:00am, and on a train back to New York City by 5:00am… just in time to clock in for work at 8:30 sharp.

You were so out of it, you didn’t even think to realize that it was Valentine’s Day until one of your coworkers—a boastful, obnoxious man named Kade—dropped a pale-pinkish note atop your desk that read ‘You + Me. Dinner tonight? I’ll pick you up at 7:00’ in messy scrawl. It had a silver Hershey’s Kiss taped to it and everything.

Perfectly juvenile.

Following a very uncomfortable one-on-one with Kade during your lunch break, you made it a point to keep your head down for the remainder of the day.

You were exhausted, and worn-out, and worried about your brother; you couldn’t possibly have cared less about candies and flowers and being someone’s valentine.

So, yeah.

You’re here now, alone in your apartment on a Sunday night, and you’re just ready to sleep, goddammit.

So of course, why wouldn’t there come a heavy-handed knock on your door at precisely that moment in time? Why wouldn’t there be someone on your doorstep—likely with yet another pressing problem, judging by recent incidences—to keep you from conking out into a blissful sleep and forgetting (even if only momentarily) that the past 24 hours ever happened?

You’re originally planning to stomp over to the door like you’re upset, then yank it open and greet whoever’s feeling audacious enough to disturb you this evening with a succinct “What ?” that borders on a snarl.

As it is, you’re far too drained to do anything but shuffle over to the door, undo the deadbolt, and tug it open with a defeated scowl to see—

Oh, what the fuck?

Yelena Belova stands directly outside your door looking like she got run over by a freight train… twice. Blood and soot streaks her pretty features; she’s wearing her tactical suit, still—though it’s singed and torn in various places, dotted in sprinkles of pale-grey ash.

She’s got twin holsters on either thigh, only one of which still carries a Škorpion machine pistol—two guns she never leaves HQ without.

One blackened hand is pressed urgently into her side—staunching what looks to be a rather serious flow of blood from a potential gun-shot wound in her lower abdomen—while the other…

A bouquet of flowers—white roses, to be exact—clutched in her bloodied fist, thrust out to you as if offering you to take them.

You blink—once, twice… thrice. You look up to the grim expression splayed across Yelena’s dirtied features, then back down to the flowers. Their pretty white petals are mangled and discolored, blotted with black soot.

You look back up to Yelena once more, jaw slack with wonder.

“Yelena, what…?”

Yelena glances down to the flowers and back to you. “It is February 14th, да?” At your blank look, she frowns and clarifies, “The day of Valentines?”

Your jaw snaps shut with an audible click! “I… Yes, but—”

“They are for you,” Yelena says flatly. She thrusts out the bouquet a little further, silently urging you to take it.

After a moment’s hesitation, you do. The cellophane whines and squeaks around the sad-looking flowers as Yelena relinquishes the bouquet, her catlike eyes intent upon you all the while.

You look down at the mauled, singe-ridden flowers. You don’t dip your jaw to smell them.

“Thank you, Yelena,” you whisper out, finally looking up to meet her determined gaze. “They’re lovely.”

A spark of something warm flits through Yelena’s stormy gaze—here one second, gone the next. It makes butterflies erupt in your stomach. “С Днём Вален��ина,” she murmurs, sounding just the tiniest bit out of breath.

Despite the exhaustion weighing heavy on your thoughts, you feel the corners of your lips tugging up into a bashful smile. “Would you, um…” you trail off, stepping aside and making a vague welcome-in-esque gesture with your free hand. “Would you like to come in?”

Yelena’s lips twitch, and she nods. “Да.”

— —

да | da | yes

с днём валентина | s dnyom valentina | happy valentine’s day

— —

tagging:

[marvel]: @normanijauregui

— —

end notes: yelena 100% would pull this shit

also i never realized how nerve racking it is to bring flowers to a girl you’re not dating on valentine’s day. what the fuck. i felt like throwing up the whole time. why are girls so SCARY

link to masterlist

#stuff i wrote #yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x f!reader #reader-insert #marvel fic #yelena belova #valentine's day fic #vday fic

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cienie-isengardu · 3 years

Note

There is one thing that you mention a lot and it is Bi-Han's lack of social skills and well I do not agree at all, that is, Bi-Han as with Sektor is quite introverted but I do believe that the Lin kuei taught them social skills to be able to infiltrate them among the people during missions. Bi-Han I think he has manners and social skills but he doesn't hide when he doesn't like someone. He was sarcastic with Quan chi but at no time did he insult him or refuse to do his job

I do not have any doubt that Bi-Han’s speech patterns depend on whom he is interacting (x) but as much as honesty and straightforwardness are in itself valuable traits, frankness is not always an acceptable choice to rely on. Having social skills helps to navigate how to behave and talk to different people to not overstep or break generally accepted norms and in result, to build a healthy relationship, or in case of living in a strict warrior society, to not get in trouble. Bi-Han for me lacks in this department, especially in mentioned interaction with Quan Chi, because he was not on equal ground with the sorcerer yet had this borderline challenging attitude. And most likely yes, some of the rudeness came from not liking nor respecting the suspicious guy that already proved to be some insidious bastard for hiring another man for the same job. But the thing is, he wasn’t there to question a lucrative customer that was personally approved by the Grandmaster and he should keep his accusations and rude remarks to himself, not throw it into the sorcerer's face just like that.

I mean, as much as dark and evil Lin Kuei are, customer service is a vital part of the earning money process. Bi-Han wasn’t there as equal to Grandmaster (the superior whom he swore to obey) nor Quan Chi (approved client). Between these three characters, Sub-Zero was just a tool to finish an already made transaction, no one was interested in what he thought or felt at that moment. As much as the accusation to some degree may be forgiven, since Quan Chi openly antagonized Sub-Zero by calling Lin Kuei the ninja (an intended insult) and admitted to hiring Shiray Ryu (the enemy of Lin Kuei), he shouldn’t be so aggressive nor so open. It toned down once Grandmaster stopped their argument. Even then, Bi-Han could - should - ask about the mission in a more polite or at least neutral way, instead of “If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?”, since his superior made it clear Sub-Zero is gonna do another job for the client (“Now you will use the map on your next mission. Quan Chi has once again retained your services”).

The whole situation feel to me like Grandmaster promised Quan Chi the best man for the job but said man had this “fuck you” attitude from the start. Sub-Zero represented Lin Kuei but instead of the professional and obedient subordinate of Grandmaster there was an abrasive warrior who called Quan Chi on his lies and backed down only because his boss had enough of his attitude and the pointless argument. Not the best social awareness if you ask me.

Bi-Han wasn’t any more polite to Raiden (“That's it? Not even a thank you?”) and either deliberately provoked Scorpion during the Tournament or he was simply brutally honest about not caring about Shirai Ryu’s fate. Which, considering what he knew about the massacre, Scorpion’s obsession about him and just heard Hanzo’s promise to not kill him, he was stubbornly arrogant or really lacked empathy or good understanding of emotional impact his words may have on his sworn enemy. Considering how Bi-Han is described as “the most cunning” above all, we know he is pretty intelligent. But his harsh, abrasive, often confrontational behaviour makes me think he is good with cold logic, not exactly with empathy and because of that, he is not always reading the situation well and may “forget his place” when dealing with people he does not respect or care about or outright provoke them in the worst way. The whole argument with Quan Chi in the first place shouldn’t even happen because really, it wouldn’t be the first time an outsider (client) didn't care about the assassin's life and saw him as just a tool. Grandmaster himself wasn’t bothered nor surprised by Quan Chi’s deal with Shirai Ryu and so Bi-Han’s outburst is even more out of place in my opinion.

How much of this is Bi-Han’s intention to be a rude bastard and how much came from limited social skills (and maybe from introverted nature?) is of course up to debate. But to be fair, all cryomancers have this cheeky and passive-aggressive attitude in common (Frost for example seems like being constantly angry at everyone and doesn’t hold her sharp tongue, younger Kuai Liang literally disturbed Mortal Kombat last Tournament and told Shao Kahn to give him murderer of brother, Conquest!Sub-Zero was no less stubborn and asocial). I do see cryomancers in general as the asocial, aromantic & asexual (maybe even autistic to some degree?) people whose natural coldness may have handicapped sense of social norms and the fact that they are trained killers (thus have empathy dulled even more) don’t help at all.

At the same time, I strongly believe that not every warrior was constantly or even often working undercover and Lin Kuei used its members adequately to their skills. Some are better at spying (thus are better at interacting with people to get the needed information), some are better killers (whose interaction with people doesn't matter as long as the job is finished). There is not enough source material to say for sure what was Bi-Han’s specialization but Mythologies: Sub-Zero strongly suggest is was actually assassination and theft, as we were told by Grandmaster (“Once again, our most cunning assassin and thief is successful.”). The known jobs he did involved breaking into heavily guarded places (Shaolin Temple, Temple of Elements) to steal artifacts and killing people on the way. There was no need for Bi-Han to have any social skills nor during the Mortal Kombat Tournament, when he was hired exactly to eliminate (kill) Earthrealm’s Champions. Of course, this is barely the tip of the iceberg, more or less the last year of Bi-Han’s life, but if he truly was one of the clan's best, sending him on long-term undercover missions could be a waste of an opportunity for profitable earnings. I mean, stealing and killing are usually short-termed jobs, the “go in and get out” as fast as possible to not leave any trace behind. Those jobs of course also take time for proper preparation but because of its specific nature, a warrior can be sent from one place to another almost immediately, especially if the lucrative customer (like Shang Tsung or Quan Chi) needs to solve an urgent problems quickly. The game and movies are separated sources, but Mortal Kombat (2021) seems too put Bi-Han mainly on the assassination jobs or staying at Shang Tsung’s side than anything truly involding good understanding of social ettiquete; beside the sorcerer, Bi-Han did not interact much with other people, even with his own allies. Then there is the possibility that Bi-Han could work ultimately more in lawless, wild Outworld than modern Earthrealm which also would affect his behaviour and sense of social norms.

I believe Bi-Han took some undercover missions, but I see him more like operating in the city to do some quick dirty jobs and moving to another target than staying in one place for months while playing “normal” human being. That way he was more useful to clan by earning good money in short period of time and maybe correcting faults of other warriors (supervising them) or killing Shirai Ruy / enemy’s agents along the way. He probably could fit into society for a specified period of time if that was absolutely necessary but I don’t think it happened often. And even then, he most likely kept to himself because Bi-Han is introverted by nature.

At the end of day, the coldness and social detachment was a useful trait for a killer and murdering was most likely Sub-Zero’s expertise so forcing him to spend months on anything else seems to me like wasting both his potential and good job offers. So the Grandmaster (Lin Kuei) could tolerate Sub-Zero’s natural frankness because his social skills weren’t ever the priority.

Bi-Han’s abrasive ways to communicate with others, lack of empathy, the visible isolating himself leads me to think he lacks social skills (and maybe even could fit somewhere on autistic spectrum). At this point of time, I think cryomancers in general are dense when it comes to social norms and interacting with people and I don’t mean it as they are stupid or unable to learn. They just have different (mental?) mindset about such things than other people, even other Lin Kuei warriors. Of course, it is just my take on the matter so anyone can disagree : )

(Ironically, I have the impression that Sektor would do better in long-term undercover work than Bi-Han but he is hardly better at pretending to be a normal human being. The difference is that he is the quiet type easy to overlook while anyone not familiar with Bi-Han's specific behaviour will see him as the rude bastard.)

#mortal kombat #my replies #bi han #sub zero #sektor #lin kuei #cryomancers #are in my mind the asocial aromantic asexual group that has zero social skills #which is why they seems to be the angry rude bastards with no will to change in that matter #you can rip this headcanon #from my cold dead hands #also lately more and more i wonder if Bi-Han (and Sektor for that matter) is not autistic to some degree #with the visible isolating himself and bad communication skills #ramblings #anyway i think there is not enough sources to tell for sure if bi han is just a rude bastard or just bad at talking to other people

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bequeerdodopemonkshit · 2 years

Text

FAQ I get asked when I tell people I'm aromantic

So coming out as Aromantic has been interesting. It’s been like seven or so months — probably more (I’m having a hard time keeping track of time right now due to trauma-brain). And other than one instance of someone unstable losing their absolute shit on me, the response from my community has been positive. It’s because I have a good community. And I do my best to keep it that way.

I don’t have anyone on my friends list or in my immediate cohort of people that has exclusionist or aphobic or transphobic views.

So my experience coming out has been as follows (condensed for the sake of brevity):

Me: “I think I might be a Bisexual Girl?, maybe?” People: “Cool.” Me: “Nope. Def gay. And def Non Binary.” People: “Cool.” Me: “So… I’m an Aromantic Non Binary Lesbian. I’m almost 80% sure this is my final Pokemon queervolution.” People: “Cool.”

I’ve been blessed with quality people.

That being said I think the most push back I’ve gotten is from a transphobic relative that I limit my interactions with as they seem to think that my identity has something to do with my politics. Yeah, because there isn’t any homophobia, transphobia, aphobia, misogyny, and racism on the Left— especially in radical spaces. Nope.

However, I do get a lot of questions. And I want to take the time to answer them according to my experience as a romance-positive/ish Aromantic person.

So what does Aromantic mean?

In short, I experience no romantic attraction.

I think in my almost four decades on this planet I have felt the warm and fuzzies for a single person who I will never ever mention by name (because she doesn’t need her ego hyped up anymore than it already is) and even then that had more to do with trauma bonding than actual romantic attraction.

Does this mean [I am] also Asexual?

No. AroAce folx exist. One of my platonic life partners is one such person. But just as there are Asexual people who experience romantic attraction, I am one such Aromantic person who experiences sexual attraction.

What is romantic attraction anyway?

My peeps, my niblings, my precious bbs— I. Have. No. Fucking idea.

From what I’ve gleaned from conversations, romantic attraction feels like— a panic attack that you really like for some fucking reason. Butterflies in the stomach. That sensation of tripping over something that moment before you catch yourself or eat shit when it can go either way. The way time stands still when you see that person. Your heart speeds up. And it almost feels like you can’t quite catch your breath (not in the unfun covid way).

So you know, like a fucking panic attack. Why would you like to have a panic attack is beyond me but hey, some people drive at unsafe speeds, or spend billions of dollars to not even go to fucking space when they could totally and completely end world hunger so, I suppose it is not beyond the realm of my understanding that there is a type of enjoyable panic attack.

I’ve felt Queer Panic™ the panic at the realization that the nebulous feelings one is having toward one or more individuals is in fact very, very fucking gay. Side effects include:

• Suddenly loss of remembering words or their function • Nervous laughter • Either “I want to hang out and do gay things with this person” or “We can never speak again.” There is no in-between. • *Flounce* • Reddening of face whenever someone even implies that you and this person could even maybe possibly gay in the future. • *Now begins a courtship ritual that resembles crows and/or penguins* (No, I will not elaborate on this point)

But none of that is exclusive to romantic attraction. It just is a part of being gay and socially inept.

I’ve just never gotten all rosy-eyed for a person, any person. I’ve loved people. But I’ve never been in love. And my life isn’t better or worse because of it.

How did [I] know [I was] aromantic?

After some very careful examination of myself, I realized that my dabbling in romance had been the same way I dabbled in cisheternomativity. I didn’t do these things because I liked performing heterosexuality or being cis, I did these things because that was expected of me. One of the marks of being a successful “complete” adult is having a “successful” romantic partnership.

The question I asked myself was “Do I like romantic relationships, or do I just hate being cold at night?”

It’s a joke and something I paraphrased from Contrapoints (yes, I know. I’m a terrible leftist but still) — when I asked myself the question: “Do I like being in romantic relationships or am I doing this because I think this is what I supposed to be doing?” I discovered the answer.

Romantic relationships set off panic alarm bells in my entire being. I can never relax in them. They make me deeply uncomfortable. When other people felt butterflies, I felt either nothing or a strong desire to run for the nearest exit.

Romance?

No, I shan't, thank you.

What kind(s) of attraction do [I] experience?

In simplest terms, I do experience a very queer sexual attraction. It’s why I still identify as a lesbian and it’s why I will not as a whole adult person in their late 30s be taking in backtalk about how I can’t call myself a lesbian. I’m currently in the midst of the second pandemic of my lifetime, I don’t think an exclusionist or a terf could even hurt my feelings at this point. (This isn’t an invitation to try. I don’t have the energy to go 20 rounds with bigots. Either accept my truth or I invite you to fuck all the way off. Thanks.)

I also feel platonic attraction. And this is where you’ll find that I am the most generous when it comes to giving love. My friends can attest I am constantly telling them that I love them because I do. I love them. I go through my day wondering how I can make theirs better. They are my people. And I would give them whatever they needed.

Lastly, and there is where it gets nebulous and this is honestly Post Grad Queer Studies/Veteran Gay stuff, I experience alterous attraction. Alterous attraction is a form of emotional attraction but it is neither necessarily platonic or romantic in nature. It can include (but is not limited to and doesn’t have to include all):

• Emotional attraction that's in between platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction that's a mix of platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction that's completely separate from platonic and romantic attraction. • Emotional attraction where you don't have a preference towards the type of relationship you're in, just as long as you're in one. • Wanting to be in a queerplatonic relationship with someone (queerplatonic attraction). • Feeling intense loyalty towards someone and wanting to exist with them in a non-platonic, non-romantic way (doraric or tutelary attraction).

I can feel intensely for people but in a way that cannot be quantified within the romantic/platonic binary. And a lot of my very close friendships and partnerships blur the line and exist in a gray area.

What are some things that have made [me] uncomfortable in past relationships?

The presumption that I’m a slow burn. That I just need to bust out of my shell and then I will become this grand romantic. I guess I have a bit of that in me. And there is a part of me that wants absolutely nothing more than to be Hades/Gomez Addams.

Both in popular culture are deeply romantic figures and all I’ve ever wanted to be is a “good boyfriend.” However, I’m discovering this has more to do with the fact that I am probably (definitely) a puppy. And again, no, I will not elaborate further on this point.

Planning for the future is another one. I don’t like this in general. But especially in partnership. It makes me feel like I’m about to pass out. Especially if there aren’t any planned time apart, doing our own things in the planning for said future. Anytime words like “always” and “forever” get tossed around my brain automatically starts rapping Outkast lyrics.

How have past partners reacted to [me] coming out as aromantic?

None of my past partners know. Part of the reason I don’t speak to them is because my past undiscovered aromanticism caused friction in our relationship. And I hurt them with my inability to engage romantically with them. And that fucking sucks.

What is a pet peeve [I] have about allonormative culture?

So many people have described romantic love as something “deeper” than other types of love. And in my experience they are implying that there’s a level of intimacy in romantic love that isn’t present in platonic love. And that, my friends, is utter fucking bullshit.

I have had friends hold me while I cried about my own mortality. I have had friends listen while I tell them my deepest, darkest fears and share the scars I keep hidden. They know every kink in my armor, they know where every body is buried, they’ve seen me at my very best, and they’ve seen me at my very worst. They know what makes me laugh, they know what pulls at my heartstrings, they know exactly which celebrity I would give my left pinkie to sleep with. And they are people I’d give my absolute everything too. So forgive me if I don’t see a romantic partnership as anything better or worse than that. If we’re striving for successful emotional intimate relationships I have several such relationships and I will continue to cultivate those partnerships, learning and growing with them and my community.

#FAQ #Aromantic #Aspec #Aspec Friendly #aromantism #aromantic positivity #stream of conscious writing #If you have any questions hit me up. I'll answer them if I can

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bluejayblueskies · 3 years

Text

philautia

n. a love based on deep connection to one’s well-being and built upon a love for one’s self; a centered wholeness

Words: 2.3k

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Relationship: Sasha James & Tim Stoker & Martin Blackwood & Jonathan Sims, Past Tim Stoker/Sasha James, Minor Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood

Characters: Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood, Jonathan Sims, Sasha James

Additional Tags: AU - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fluff and Humor, Statement Fic (but not in the way you expect!), Aromantic and Asexual Characters, Implied/Referenced Homophobia (very minor), Implied/Referenced Arophobia (also very minor)

Summary:

SASHA

So, according to Tim, I’m supposed to be recording a statement on, quote, my “most swashbucklingest experience as an esteemed member of the LGBT community.” He left this recorder on my desk and stole my scone. Timothy Stoker, I will not forget that.

---

Statements of members of the archival staff at the Magnus Institute, London, regarding certain facets of their aspec identities. Statements compiled by Timothy Stoker on 10th June, 2016. For personal use only.

Ao3 link in reblogs

Or read below:

[CLICK]

MARTIN

—really don’t think this is necessary—

TIM

Aaaaand we’re recording!

MARTIN

(exasperated) Tim.

TIM

Oh, come on Martin, it’s more fun this way!

[MARTIN MAKES A NOISE OF DISAGREEMENT]

TIM

You cannot look me in the eye and tell me that this doesn’t appeal to your, and I quote, “retro aesthetic.”

MARTIN

(reluctantly) It… might.

TIM

See! So it’s perfect!

…

[HE SIGHS]

Obviously you don’t have to if you don’t want to, Martin. I just thought it might be nice—to have something to look back on when we’re all old and sick of each other, you know? Here, I can go first.

MARTIN

Tim, you don’t have to—

TIM

(overlapping, adopting the ‘Archivist’ voice) Statement of Timothy Stoker, regarding the first time he went to Pride with his brother, Danny. June 10th, 2016.

(cheekily) Statement begins.

TIM (STATEMENT)

(in his normal voice) I realized I was into blokes too when I was 15, you know. Think it took me a while because of the whole ace thing, though that took me until I was in uni to really figure out. I was still fine with sex, you know, always enjoyed it when it came up, just… never really wanted it with anyone in particular. So I suppose I’d assumed for a while that the things I was feeling toward other guys weren’t romantic because I never had the sexual parts to go along with them. (with wry humor) Almost ruined a few relationships that way, actually.

But I’m getting a bit off-topic. Can’t be one of those rambling statement givers Jon hates. God, I can see his face now, that thing he does with his nose—Martin, you know the one, the- the way it looks like he’s just smelled something really, really rank.

MARTIN

I thought you said you weren’t going to ramble.

TIM

Cheeky, cheeky. Okay, where was I. Right.

TIM (STATEMENT)

Mom and Dad weren’t real big on the whole bi thing, so the first time I got the chance to go to Pride was in uni. The first time I got the chance to go with Danny was after he turned 18 and got his first modeling gig. At least, I think he was already modeling back then. Point is, we were both out of the house, and Danny had been dying to go to Pride with me ever since I sent him pictures of me and Sasha eating an entire box of rainbow-colored donuts that first year. I’d figured out I was ace by then, but it had been pretty recent, so when we got there, I found one of the vendors selling those big flags you drape over your shoulders and got an ace one. Felt a bit weird having the ace flag instead of the bi one like the other years, but I had worn that pink, blue, and purple button-down Sasha got me for Christmas once, so overall, it felt all right.

And Danny—god, he loved it. Pretty sure he ate his weight in fried food that day.

[HE LAUGHS]

Almost got the aro flag he’d borrowed from Sasha dirty, actually, when he—

(quickly changes course) Ah, nothing! Sasha, if you’re listening to this, absolutely nothing happened to your flag, and I definitely did not have it laundered before I returned it to you.

TIM

Aaaaand that’s it! Statement ends, I guess.

See—easy! (a bit more seriously) But really—you don’t have to record one if you don’t want to, Martin.

MARTIN

…

No, I- I want to.

TIM

Are you sure? I don’t want you to do that thing where you just do something because you think someone else wants you to.

MARTIN

I do not—!

…

Okay, okay, fine. Point taken. But yeah, I- I’m sure.

[RUSTLING AS THE TAPE RECORDER IS PASSED FROM TIM TO MARTIN]

MARTIN

(with an audible smile) Statement of, er, Martin Blackwood. Regarding… a crush. No, no, wait—god, that sounds so juvenile. Regarding himself, and a person who- er, someone whom he—

[HE SIGHS]

Fine. Regarding a crush. Statement given June 10th, 2016.

Statement begins.

MARTIN (STATEMENT)

I’m always a little embarrassed to tell people that I’ve never dated anyone before? Okay, a- a lot embarrassed, actually. I try not to bring it up, but people will say things like, oh, you know how it is to shop for a partner or meeting her parents is definitely nerve-wracking—which is wrong on, er, two accounts, actually—and then I feel more awkward not telling them that I don’t know, actually, because I’ve never been in a relationship longer than a week or so. Then, they’ll get all sympathetic, like it’s some- some tragedy that I’m not involved with someone, and that’s worse, because then they’ll offer to set me up with people, or say that they don’t understand why I’m single because I’m a catch or whatever, and I have to give them some excuse about not interested at the moment.

It’s not that, not really. Dates with strangers, they- they just never work out for me.

I think I fall somewhere on the aromantic spectrum? I didn’t think about it much until Sasha mentioned it once over drinks—I think you were there, Tim, although you were (laughs) very drunk by that point. I told her I hadn’t had a crush on anyone since sixth form, and she threw around a bunch of terms. I- I honestly don’t really remember, it was kind of overwhelming and (laughs) I was also pretty drunk as well. But yeah, it… it sounds about right.

(hesitantly, as if bracing himself for impact) So… this person. Who I, er. Recently, that is, who I…

[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT]

It’s really strange, that’s all. And a- a lot. I—heh—I don’t really know what to do about it.

MARTIN

…

Uh, statement ends? I guess? I, uh, don’t really have anything else to say. (jokingly) It’s not like there’s any, er, follow-up or whatever. (to Tim) Was- was that okay?

TIM

(audibly smiling) Yup! Most excellent, Marto. (more seriously) You felt okay, right?

MARTIN

(huh) Yeah. Yeah, I- I did. A bit nice, actually. (quickly) As- as long as this stays in the archives, though. It… it is staying in the archives, right?

TIM

Oh, definitely. Right next to the section on love potions, I think.

MARTIN

Tim!

TIM

(laughs) Yes, Martin, it’s staying in the archives. Pinkie promise. Just you, me, Sasha, and Jon. (in the tone of a man who knows a great secret and wants nothing more than to share it) Speaking of Jon—

MARTIN

(quickly) Uh, recording ends!

TIM

(undeterred) —is he the—?

[CLICK]

SASHA

Right. So, according to Tim, I’m supposed to be recording a statement on, quote, my “most swashbucklingest experience as an esteemed member of the LGBT community.” He left this recorder on my desk and stole my scone. Timothy Stoker, I will not forget that. It was white chocolate raspberry, and I’m stealing the money it cost out of your wallet.

…

Anyway.

[SHE CLEARS HER THROAT]

Statement of Sasha James, given 10th June 2016. Subject of statement is… hmm. Let’s say… (laughs) A brief relationship with one Timothy Stoker.

Statement begins.

SASHA (STATEMENT)

Tim, I know you’re listening to this, and I just want to preface this by saying that yes, it was Italian that we had for dinner that night, not Greek. You’re thinking of a different friendship-turned-hookup-turned-awkward-aftermath-turned-friendship.

[SHE LAUGHS QUIETLY]

Anyway, I guess the best place to begin with this whole thing is by saying that I’ve known I was aro since I was 16 and that I’ve never been very good at talking about it. I’ve ended plenty of tried and failed relationships with the it’s-not-you-it’s-me talk because I didn’t know how to explain that I just… wasn’t interested in romance.

I wanted to explain it to you beforehand, Tim, I really, really did. We’ve had this conversation, I know I know—I won’t rehash it over tape.

[SHE SIGHS]

But the important thing is that I like you so, so much, and—god, this is stupid—I guess maybe I thought that it wouldn’t matter with you? That you could like me romantically and I could like you platonically and it would be fine. Like I said, stupid, but you asked me out to that Italian place—yes, Italian, for god’s sake, I had the chicken parm and you had some sort of lasagna abomination—and I just… couldn’t say no. And it was nice, really. I had a lot of fun.

And then we slept together. And… that was really nice. But then, the next morning, the… the guilt set in. Because I felt the same as I always had about you—which is to say that I loved you, just not in the same way you loved me—and I became convinced that I’d gone and ruined the whole thing.

Ignoring you for a week was probably not the correct response. (quieter) Yeah, definitely not my finest moment. But I’d gotten it in my head that the moment I told you that I didn’t feel that way about you and that I would never feel that way about you—or about anyone—you’d hate me. And you don’t have to say that you’d never hate me—I know you wouldn’t. I think I knew it then, too. But fear is a powerful thing.

…

Anyway, you know how it all turned out. You finally dragged me out to coffee and I finally told you why I’d been avoiding you and it was really, really awkward for about a month after that and then it just… wasn’t anymore. (audibly smiling) And you’re still my best friend, Tim. Even if you did steal my scone.

[THE SOUND OF PAPERS RUSTLING AND A CHAIR ROLLING BACKWARD]

Recording ends.

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST

Statement of Kyle Henning, regarding a strange mushroom he found growing in his garden. Original statement given April 15th, 2011. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begi—

[DOOR OPENS]

TIM

Hey boss! Got a moment?

ARCHIVIST

(irritated) Tim, please at least knock when the door to my office is closed. I was just about to record a statement.

TIM

(unbothered) So if you were about to, that means you’re not recording one right now, which means you do have a moment.

ARCHIVIST

(flatly) Shut the door on your way out, Tim.

TIM

(brightly) Right you are, boss! Juuuust going to leave this here on your desk. Bring it back whenever you’re done!

[PAPERS RUSTLE AS SOMETHING IS PLACED ON THE DESK]

ARCHIVIST

(dryly) I’m fairly certain that I’m the one who assigns you tasks to complete, Tim.

TIM

That you do! I guess I better get back to them then. Have fun!

ARCHIVIST

(firmly) Tim—

[DOOR CLOSES]

[HE SIGHS]

ARCHIVIST

Right. Well, given that this recording is essentially useless now and I hadn’t even gotten to the statement, I may as well start over. (mutters under his breath) Bloody waste of tape and my time—

[CLICK]

[PAPERS RUSTLE. FOR A MOMENT, THERE IS ONLY THE SOUND OF BREATHING. THEN, JON SIGHS.]

ARCHIVIST

Before I begin, I would like to make it very clear that this is not an appropriate use of working hours or the tape recorders, which should be used for statements that won’t record digitally as per Elias’s request.

…

That being said, I am… not entirely opposed to this project. So, I suppose…

[HE CLEARS HIS THROAT]

Statement of Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London, regarding… regarding a black ring worn on the middle finger of his right hand. Statement recorded by subject, June 10th, 2016.

Statement begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

I’ve often been told that I am not a very open person. I don’t necessarily intend to be closed-off, but I’ve also never found the need to disclose every aspect of my personal life to everyone I come into contact with. And yes, Tim—because I trust that you and you alone will be listening to this tape—that is a perfectly respectable way to live one’s life. Not everyone needs to know what I ate for breakfast that morning or who my favorite primary school teacher was.

…

I… will admit, though, that in certain circumstances, I… could probably stand to be more transparent regarding aspects of my personal life. Perhaps that’s why Georgie bought me the ring.

It wasn’t a special occasion. She just brought it back from the shop one day, a few weeks after a… particularly illuminating conversation about certain sexual identities, and dropped it atop my copy of Wuthering Heights. Honestly, I had no idea what it was at first. I- (heh) I tried to make a joke about unorthodox proposals, but I- I don’t really think it landed. Georgie just looked at me and said that she’d seen it on one of the online forums, that it was called an ace ring, and that she thought I might like it. I think I was more surprised about the fact that the ring fit perfectly than at the fact that she’d bought me the ring in the first place.

So I wore it. And it felt… nice. Understand, I don’t keep quiet about my romantic and sexual identities out of shame or embarrassment or indecision; I simply don’t feel the need to announce them at any given moment. So I’ve always been fond of small things—pins and stickers and such—that I can incorporate into my life, insignificant enough that they aren’t readily apparent to anyone but me, as they’re for me more than for anyone else. My ring is one such thing.

[THERE IS A MOMENT OF SILENCE. MORE WORDS SIT IN THE AIR, WAITING. EVENTUALLY, HOWEVER, HE SIGHS, AND THE WORDS REMAIN UNSAID.]

ARCHIVIST

Statement ends.

…

Right.

(with something that might be a smile) As for your other request, I do have a prior engagement with Georgie and Melanie this weekend. Though if you’re willing to accommodate two more, I’m sure they wouldn’t be opposed to coming along. Georgie’s always telling me that Pride is more fun when you’re with a group, after all.

End recording.

[CLICK]

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fic #the magnus archives fic #AspecArchives #asexual jonathan sims #gray-aro martin blackwood #aromantic sasha james #asexual tim stoker #sex-favorable tim stoker #biphobia //#arophobia //#(minorly for both)#my fic #my writing

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wonder-womans-ex · 3 years

Text

Curtain Call

Act One, Scene Eight

“I’m home!” Sirius calls, unlocking the door.

It takes a few seconds, but then, “In here!” comes James’s voice from the living room.

(‘Living room’ is probably a bit of a stretch, really, because ‘living room’ implies that there are also other rooms, and the fact of the matter is that they have two bedrooms and then a kitchen with a couch and a TV in one half and a table in the other.) (James is, evidently, in the designated couch half of the kitchen.) (Sirius had originally suggested calling it the ‘lounge,’ and it is a sad sign of how determined James is to grow up at least partially that this suggestion did not become a reality.)

Bending down to unlace his combat boots, he shrugs his backpack off and leaves it there on top of James’s checkered Vans and a pair of black sneakers he doesn’t recognize but probably belongs to him.

He walks past the fridge, glances at the schedule held up by the J and S magnets they got from Peter when they moved into the apartment, and makes a mental note that he has his first rehearsal for Oliver tonight.

“What’cha watching?” he begins, noticing the flicker of the TV screen, and then stops dead.

There are a few moments of silence before Sirius grabs one of Elvendork’s catnip mice off the floor and chucks it at his younger brother. “You fucker!”

Regulus sits up from where his head had previously been resting on James’s lap. “Hello to you, too, Sirius.”

“You came to visit! And you didn’t tell me!”

“In my defense, I didn’t even know I was coming until, like, ten this morning. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision.”

“Hey, they didn’t tell me, either. Just showed up at the door an hour or two ago, knocking like their life depended on it. I thought it was the police coming to tell me you’d been arrested. Or found dead in a ditch.”

“Shut up, James,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes. “Of course they didn’t tell you—I’m his brother.”

“Well, I’m the love of his life.”

Regulus buries their face in James’s shoulder. “Why did I tell you that?” he groans, and Sirius glances between the two of them, blinking.

“Wait. Are you two—”

“No,” they say in unison, which clears up absolutely nothing.

“...I think I’m missing something.”

“You’re definitely missing something.”

(Yes, but what?)

He watches nervously as a significant look passes between them. It’s a conversation, really, but instead of words everything is communicated with eyebrow raises (mostly Regulus) and exaggerated winks (all James).

Finally, Regulus lets out a huff of breath. “All right,” they say. “Fine!”

James protests when Regulus climbs off the couch—not at the climbing off the couch part, but because he takes the blanket with him. The two stick their tongues out at each other, and Sirius feels his heart swell. He loves them both so fucking much, and he’s never been so glad that Reg managed to get out of that house, too. He’s not sure what he’d do without his little brother.

The walk in silence towards Sirius’s bedroom, and Regulus immediately jumps onto the bed once the door is opened. They bounce slightly when their body hits the springy mattress, and they flop over onto their back to stare at the ceiling.

“I came out to James,” he says, not bothering with pleasantries or preamble. Regulus never has been one for that—straight and to the point is the only way they really know how to do anything.

“You dated James.” Tact, Sirius, he reprimands himself immediately inside his head. Just because your brother is a conversation heathen you don’t necessarily have to stoop to their levels.

“Yes, I know I dated James. But… I’m not gay.”

“Okay.” Sirius pauses, waiting to see if Regulus is going to elaborate further. They don’t, so he prompts, “Do you know what you are?”

“Yeah.”

(So they’re doing this the hard way, are they? All right—Sirius can work with that.)

“I’m not gay,” Regulus says again. “I’m not pan or bi or any of those things. I’m… I’m asexual. And aromantic.”

Sirius blinks. He takes this in. He nods.

He says something that, in fifteen years, he will look back on and want to dunk his head in very cold water for. “But… James.”

“James.” Regulus nods, sighing heavily. “James is different. I don’t know how to explain it—I don’t love him anymore. But… I did. I used to. And I haven’t felt like that about anyone else, well, ever. Yeah.”

Before Sirius can say anything, Regulus starts talking again. “It’s like—what was it you used to say? In high school? ‘Having a crush on James Potter doesn’t make you gay. It makes you human.’ I loved James, but that doesn’t make me allo. Make sense?”

“Yeah. Wait, actually, one thing—so, James is the only person you’re ever loved? Romantically?”

“Uh huh.”

“And you told him this?”

Regulus brings his hands up, covering his face. “I know. It was a mistake, okay? I should have known it would only inflate his ego even more. I feel like an idiot.”

“Yeah, because you are an idiot.” Sirius reaches over, swatting them on the shoulder. “But at least you’re not as big of an idiot as the guy who knowingly and willingly flirted with his ex today.”

“What?!”

“Mm hmm. But that’s a story for another time.” Smirking, Sirius glances over his shoulder before beginning to walk backwards out of the room.

“You fucker!”

Reg chases him all the (admittedly very short) way back to where James is sprawled on the couch, clearly making good use of his friends’ absence. Finally, Sirius can see what’s playing on the TV—it’s Ocean’s Eleven, and it’s already at least a good half hour in. He and Regulus look at each other, identical smirks etched onto their faces. Together, they jump, and James yelps.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby,” Regulus tells him jokingly, and there comes a muffled groan from where James’s face is smashed into the pillows.

Sirius makes sure that James can actually breathe before he starts to make himself comfortable. He’s perched on the small of James’s back; Regulus is settled in the gap between James’s feet.

“Is this really,” James laments, “how you want to treat your best friend?”

“Yes,” Sirius says, and smothers a laugh.

“And you, Reggie—have you no respect for the love of your life?”

Regulus pretends to think for a moment, then, “No,” they say.

The muscles in James’s back tense suddenly, but Sirius doesn’t think much of it. He should, really, because barely an instant later, James heaves himself over, tipping both Black brothers onto the floor.

“Ouch,” Sirius says, pouting. “My ass hurts.”

Regulus has an unbelievably shit-eating grin on their face. “Loser.”

“I thought you were on my side!”

“I’m on no one’s side but my own.”

This is a mistake, and Regulus knows it. His eyes widen when James and Sirius look at each other, nodding, and lunge forward. There is only one weakness to Regulus Arcturus Black, and the two of them know it better than anyone else in the world.

Because Regulus may be coolly confident with a sharp sense of humour, but they are also extremely ticklish. Their shrieks and laughs are interrupted by the occasional ‘No!’ or ‘Mercy!,’ but it does nothing to quench Sirius and James’s combined ruthlessness. They are unstoppable, and Regulus can do nothing to beat them.

George Clooney is shouting about something onscreen, but the three young men tussling pay him no mind. The movie plays on, forgotten, and Sirius lets himself forget—just for a moment—that Remus or heartbreak or that fucking writing class exist at all.

***

“So,” James says through a mouthful of chow mein, “How was the class?”

“It was good.”

Regulus raises an eyebrow. “‘Good?’ You sound like a kid coming home from school to overly inquisitive parents.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d know all about that.”

“Fuck off, they didn’t talk to you, either.”’

“Touché.”

“Go on, Sirius,” James breaks in. “How was it?”

“It was better than last week, at least. Worse, too, I guess, but then it was better.”

“...Elaborate.”

He’s glad for the excuse to. He needs to talk to someone, and therapy’s an obvious no because he doesn’t have the money and also he has a bad track record of scaring therapists away on the first session, so James and Regulus are kind of the only options. (He’s not kidding anyone. He’s been dying to tell the two of them, specifically, for like forever, but Regulus hasn’t visited in ages.) “Well, I found out why Remus broke up with me. And then I met up with his friends at Frankie’s, and apparently they’re my friends now, too, which is cool, because at the moment my only friends are, well, you guys. Oh, and I helped set Marlene up with a girl.”

There is a pause as both Regulus and James look at him, taking in this information. “Okay,” James says. “Do I want you to tell me more?”

Sirius pokes at his rice with one chopstick. “I dunno.”

“I—um—you mentioned you made some new friends?” continues James. Regulus stifles a laugh, and Sirius has to admit that the phrase ‘make some new friends’ sounds more fitting for a conversation with a grade three than a university student. “What are they like?”

“Well, there’s Dorcas—the one who’s into Marlene—and she’s, like, the most extroverted extrovert to ever extrovert. Then there’s Frank, who doesn’t talk much, and Mary, who talks even less, but Mary’s got dyed hair so she’s all right, I guess. Alice is pretty cool, too, and then there’s Lily, who’s pretty but terrifying. Oh, and Fabian, who seems to be allergic to not being a nice person, and Caradoc, who I’m almost positive is related to Angelia Jolie because his cheekbones are just that sharp. And Remus, of course, but I’m sure I’ve told you guys enough about him to last a lifetime.”

When he’s met by only silence, he scrambles for something to say. “They all strike me as the kind of people who would wear ‘gay rights’ t-shirts unironically, which is sort of my only prerequisite when it comes to friendship. Our resident emo not included, of course, because I would never want to force them into anything that isn’t some sort of My Chemical Romance merchandise.”

Regulus looks down at the shirt he’s currently wearing—it’s got the American Beauty/American Psycho album cover on the front—and then back up at Sirius. “Actually, this is Fall Out Boy.”

“Same difference.”

“How dare you.”

Laughing, James spears another piece of broccoli and gestures with it between the two of them. “Reg, you can’t exactly blame him for his ignorance around your obsolete music tastes.”

“Says the guy who listens to the fucking Monkees—”

“Fuck off! The Monkees were an icon; a legend—”

“The Monkees are trash.”

“You’re trash!”

“Whoa, there,” Sirius breaks in. “I dodged a bullet when my only two friends in the world had a friendly breakup instead of an unfriendly one, and the last thing I want is to find out that that bullet is actually a boomerang.”

Regulus groans. “Okay, first of all, we’ve always spent like fifty percent of our time arguing about music, even while we were dating—which you’d know if you hadn’t started avoiding the two of us like the plague the instant we got together.”

“Shots fired,” James says under his breath, but he’s immediately silenced by a glare from Regulus.

“Secondly—and more importantly—if you ever make another analogy remotely like that one, I will hurt you. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Sirius assures them, but he’s struggling to hold back laughter.

There’s a pause, and then Regulus crosses his arms, pouting. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re laughing.”

“Because you’re funny.”

“I’m not funny!”

“You’re cute.”

“I am not cute!”

“Yes, you are!”

Regulus turns on James once more. “James, am I cute?” Clearly, they think better of this, because they quickly add, “Wait, no, don’t answer that.”

“See, you’re cute! And you know it!”

“I give up!”

Sirius sits back in his chair. “You’ve lost, Reg. Admit it. And then get me a fortune cookie.”

“All right. Fine. I’ve lost. But I hope your fortune cookie tells you you’re going to get struck by lightning tomorrow.”

“Sweet; maybe I’ll get cool powers.”

“It doesn’t work like that, moron.”

“Whatever you say.”

For a moment, he thinks he’ll have to get the fortune cookies himself, because Reg isn’t going to, but then his little brother stands up and reaches into the brown paper bag on the counter. “Here,” they say, tossing the cookie at Sirius’s head.

“Hey!”

James gets a cookie, too, but his is placed on the table in front of him, not at all a threat to his health, well-being, and quite possibly his life. Sirius points this out, labeling it ‘favouritism,’ but Regulus only takes a bite of his cookie and calls him dramatic.

“You first,” James says, nodding at Regulus, causing Sirius to gasp in betrayal. The other two pay him no mind, however, and Regulus clears his throat.

“You will,” they say, “come into fair fortune or good will in the near future.”

Almost immediately, James starts clapping. It’s tradition—after a fortune cookie reading comes the raucous applause. For them, it’s half the fun of ordering Chinese food.

“All right, my turn.” James squints at the slip of paper in his hands. He holds it up to the light, and then, “Something will happen soon that will change how you look at the world.”

This time, Sirius and Regulus know to wait before they applaud. James always adds something funny after his fortunes, and they’re curious to see what it is he’ll come up with this time.

“What,” he says, after a brief moment of thought, “will my glasses prescription change or something?”

Sirius looks at Regulus, and they both laugh as they clap. It’s cheesy, entirely too predictable, and basically the most James thing possible. Neither of them knows what really caused them to want to befriend James all those years ago in—oh fuck, it was grade four, wasn’t it?—but it sure as hell wasn’t his sense of humour.

“Sirius?” It’s said like a question, and Sirius is quick to answer. “On it, Reg,” he says, and breaks his cookie in half with both hands. (Well, he says ‘half;’ it’s really more like a quarter and then the other three.)

He reads out his lucky numbers first, without even looking at the fortune itself—that’s his tradition; he’s the only one of the three of them who does it. “Three, thirteen, seventeen, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, forty.”

“Isn’t that, like, the fifth time in a row you’ve gotten thirteen?” Regulus says. “That’s gotta mean something.”

“Shut up,” Sirius tells them, and finally he lets his eyes find the tiny lettering that is his fortune.

Without letting himself hear the words in his head first, he reads them out loud. “You have forgiven easily in the past; it is time to do so again.”

There’s a silence. What is this? It’s not a fortune; it’s a statement. Advice, maybe, but even that’s stretching it a little.

“Well.” James says, and claps, Regulus following quickly after, but Sirius can tell it’s strained. They’re all obviously thinking about the same thing—Remus.

Somewhere in his head, he knows that this doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s a fortune cookie, after all—what does it know? But… maybe it does mean something. He’s not sure which he’s hoping for.

Seemingly just for something to say, James asks, “Don’t you have rehearsal tonight?”

Sirius is, in a way, glad for the excuse to stand up. “Yeah,” he says, “at seven-thirty—which is twenty minutes from now—so I should probably get going.”

“Probably,” agrees Regulus, as they begin to clear the table. “Need a ride?”

“Nah, I can take the bus,” Sirius begins, and then stops. “Wait, why are you offering? You don’t have a car.”

“Um—”

“Reg, is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“...Maybe?”

“You have a car?”

“I mean, technically it’s a rental, so no, but—”

“Whatever.” Sirius doesn’t need to hear any more. “Yes, please, take me to rehearsal.”

James makes a noise of protest. “What, and leave me here alone?”

“Yes, James; you can survive on your own. You’re an adult.”

“I don’t feel like one.”

“Or act like one,” Sirius adds under his breath, which earns him a definitive not helping look from Regulus.

“You’ll be fine as long as you don’t burn the house down. Goodbye.”

Sirius grabs his script and his blue hoodie with the picture of a rubber duck on it from his bedroom, and when he walks back through the kitchen to the front door, Regulus looks him up and down once and hands him his backpack.

The only sound that accompanies their walk down the hall and subsequent elevator ride is the faint jingling of the key ring in Regulus’s hand. It’s not until they’re in the car and pulling out of the parking lot that Regulus says, “And you’re all right with this?”

“All right with what?”

“Me being… you know.”

“A total asshole? No. Aroace? Yeah, of course. I’m your brother. I’m here for you, Reg.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

(Sirius ignores the ‘I guess.’) “Is James cool about it? Because if he isn’t, I’ll kick his ass.”

“No, he’s fine. He’s great. He made a couple jokes about himself having raised my expectations so much I could never be with anyone else, but that’s just James.”

“That’s just James,” Sirius repeats. “And you know that you can always talk to me, right? If anyone tries to mess with your head?”

“Yeah. Now, enough about me. Let’s talk about the guy who ‘knowingly and willingly flirted with his ex’ earlier.”

Damn. He’s hoped Regulus had forgotten about that.

For a moment, Sirius is trapped between the want to stubbornly refuse and the need to actually talk about his feelings. He settles on the latter, but not until they’re close enough to the rec centre where rehearsals are held that he knows he can hop out of the car and walk the rest of the way if need be. “He’s just… he’s everything, you know?

“And I know that he doesn’t want to get back together, and I know that we really shouldn’t even if he did. But he’s Remus. And I’m constantly flip-flopping back and forth between wanting to be his friend because we’ll never be anything more than that, and…”

“And what?”

“Being so in love with him it hurts.”

Regulus glances away from the road ahead for a split second, eyes flickering over Sirius's face, their expression unreadable. “Sounds like a you problem,” they say finally.

“Reg?”

“Yeah?”

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

“I just—my eyes basically turn to hearts whenever I look at him, but it also hurts, you know? Because he broke up with me, obviously, but also because today I found out that the reason he broke up with me was that he kissed someone else, so obviously that’s kind of shitty, and I don’t know how to feel about any of this because he’s basically the nicest person in the world, and can one mistake really change who a person is? But he also hasn’t tried to make up or anything, and we’re apparently pretending we’ve never met, and did I mention he’s got a fucking tattoo of the Sirius constellation that he never told me about, and… this is my stop.”

Regulus pulls over, wincing a little as the tire grates against the curb, and then turns to meet Sirius’s gaze. “So, it sounds like you’re not in a great place right now,” he says. “And I get that. You know this goes both ways, right? You can always talk to me, too.”

“I know. Love you.” He grabs his backpack, making sure it’s got everything he needs in it—phone, script, highlighter and pencil for notes and directions, bottle of red Gatorade—and closes the door.

The window rolls down slightly, and Sirius watches his own reflection disappear with it and be replaced by his brother’s faint smile. “Love you, too,” Regulus says, and then he is gone.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #james potter #regulus black #cw food #james and sirius are bros #he/they regulus black #regulus black is an emo I don't make the rules #university au #muggle au #post-breakup #actor!sirius #I don't know how I feel about this chapter

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notoriousmasc · 4 years

Text

Nekomaru Nidai is Gay

or: "Bones like castle walls, well-defined muscles... all that lovely meat on you!”

In honor of Nidai’s birthday, I’m gonna be posting a slightly more comprehensive meta on why I think he’s a gay man. This was all written a while ago, but I still agree with it as a whole. I’ll leave most of it below the readmore just because it’s... long.

“Nekomaru Nidai is, without a doubt in my mind, a completely and totally gay man who I can’t imagine is at all attracted to women.

Why do I think this? Well, for a lot of reasons, which I’ll explain to you now.

First and foremost: His design.

You’ve probably heard the term ‘bara’ by now, it’s pretty common lingo for someone who’s really big and buff. You may have even called Nekomaru a bara at one point or another. It’s become such a popular term in fandom that apparently, people don’t actually know where it came from, which is news to me.

Bara is a genre of manga that’s made by, for, and of gay men! The connotation the term has now, meaning ‘big n’ buff’ comes directly from the fact that the men depicted in bara manga are often very traditionally masculine and generally some flavor of Large. Because, of this, in Japan, stereotypically gay men are portrayed as very masculine, because being manly is seen as being into men.

So, take a quick look at Nekomaru.

Design-wise, he’s the most masculine character by far. Tall with broad shoulders, big muscles, short hair, manly scars, and even some facial hair. The most feminine part of his character design is his TOWEL which is saying something.

Taking that into account with what I’ve been saying, Nekomaru is pretty much the embodiment of the Japanese gay stereotype, especially considering the people who made him were mostly straight, and therefore, they wouldn’t have much else to go off of aside from stereotypes.

“Wait, that’s just his design, you can’t say he’s gay just because he looks gay!”

And you’re right! Saying he’s gay just because he looks it is kind of silly, and this is a semi-serious essay. So, I’m happy to announce that I have, like, actual proof. Wild, I know.

His interactions with a lot of the cast are Pretty Not Straight, if I say so myself.

I’ve mentioned the massage scene once before in this, but it’s often played for a joke that Nekomaru isn’t actually attracted to women-- especially in, yeah, the massage scene.

Akane is written as this super attractive, athletic, busty girl who’s ready to take off her clothes whenever she does something wrong, ( but we’ll GET to that) so the DR writers probably see her as an “ideal” woman. Nekomaru not being attracted to her? Hilarious!

The absence of attraction to women does not a gay man make, aromantic asexual men exist and they aren’t into girls either. So, the quickest way for me to prove that Nidai is a gay man would be for me to prove that he’s attracted to men.

I’m happy to announce that Oh My Dear God Is He Ever!

Take a quick look at these quotes.

All of these were said by Nidai to Gonta in the Ultimate Talent Development plan. It’s kind of clear he’s a little more… interested in big buff men than someone who isn’t attracted to them. It could be said that he’s just being platonic here, but I actually have some interactions that suggest otherwise.

Given Nidai’s interactions with Gonta, if Nidai was attracted to a woman, it’d probably be a pretty buff woman-- and Sakura is a very buff woman. Luckily enough, Nidai has a few interactions with her over the course of the bonus mode.

This is a pretty intimate scene he has with Sakura, both talking about how much they’ve grown since they last met and genuinely supporting each other.

Now let's compare this to one of his interactions with Gonta.

“Oh, Gonta! Your body’s looking great again today!” “Bones like castle walls, well-defined muscles... All that lovely meat on you!”

They’re… pretty different. Nidai can absolutely not shut up about how buff and powerful Gonta is, but with Sakura, he just says, “I can tell with a single punch you’ve gotten stronger.” That’s infinitely more platonic than “Bones like castle walls, well-defined muscles… All that lovely meat on you!”

Obviously, sometimes he’s just like that.

He words things very dramatically and a bit intimately. Take this other interaction with Sakura, for example.

“Hah! I was waiting for this day! The day my body would be of use to you!”

The difference is still very much there, though. He’s at least a little attracted to Gonta, while he just considers Sakura a close friend. They look very similar, so it’s kinda weird that he’d be attracted to Gonta and not Sakura if he was bi-- which is part of the reason he’s pretty much gay-coded.

However, let’s take some interactions from the game he’s actually from for some more proof. Most of these will be taken directly from SDR2’s Island Mode on the wiki, so feel free to check if you think I’m taking anything too out of context.

If you’ll notice, Nekomaru calls the excursions you have in Island mode “Dates.” The only other male character to do this is Teruteru, who’s… very blatantly attracted to men as well as women. He also very blatantly says that falling in love with Hajime is a possibility for him! This is so blatant! He’s into men!

Without a doubt in my mind, I can say that Nekomaru Nidai is a gay man, and that shipping him with Akane, who’s a woman, is a blatant erasure of his sexuality.”

#nekomaru nidai #dangan ronpa #sdr2 #super dangan ronpa 2 #danganronpa

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shades-of-grayro · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on “queeragamic”

So, I initially wasn’t going to weigh in on this, but it seems there’s been some community conflict surrounding it. The current conversation seems a bit unproductive, and I wanted to weigh in with a more middle-of-the-road opinion to hopefully help us work towards a solution.

To be clear, I’m only interested in good-faith efforts to listen to what others have to say, share thoughts and feelings, and look to how we can improve things moving into the future. If you’re interested in anything else, this is not the post for you.

Synopsis

Synopsis of the conflict below. Note that I’ve paraphrased a bit of it, but please read people’s own words and don’t assume that my paraphrasing is exactly how they would characterize the situation themselves.

@queerplatonicpositivity coined “queeragamic relationship” to mean “non-sexual queerplatonic relationship.” This was received negatively by alloaros, including @quiet-times [here] and @aro-allo-positivity [here], because they felt that this word was created due to not wanting to be associated with alloaros. @queerplatonicpositivity responded to the criticism here, here, and here.

Summary

I think this was handled badly on both sides.

While I believe that people have the right to use whatever words they’d like to describe their relationships, the wording of the original post coining queeragamic did have echoes of exclusionary rhetoric, and it is important to address that. However, the response trying to address this issue definitely crossed a line.

Is queeragamic harming people who have sex?

Does @queerplatonicpositivity have the right to call their relationship whatever makes them feel most comfortable? Yes. If this were framed as “I recently realized that I need a word to call my relationship that is explicitly non-sexual, and so I’ve coined a word for it” then I’d have zero issue with it. But it was framed as “I’ve just realized that people use this word for their relationships that are sexual, and that makes me uncomfortable” which echoes a lot of other exclusionary situations I’ve seen.

Here are a couple examples:

When that person tried to create a new aro flag because they didn’t like that the actual aro flag had a grey stripe that explicitly included people under the grayromantic umbrella.

I once had someone tell me that they felt excluded by the definition of asexuality that says “a person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction and/or desire” simply because it includes people who identify as ace due to not feeling sexual desire, when they do feel sexual desire, but not attraction.

There’s a pattern here of feeling excluded because others are included, and your post read really similarly to these things, even though I don’t think that’s what your intention was. Not to mention the context of aces feeling uncomfortable in shared ace and aro spaces due to allo aros simply existing.

You can’t remove yourself from this context, and the way your post is written certainly looks exclusionary. I’d consider re-writing it using a different framing. As I said before, something like “I recently realized that I need a word to call my relationship that is explicitly non-sexual, and so I’ve coined a word for it.”

On calling the criticism “hate”

Several criticisms addressed the fact that @queerplatonicpositivity called their responses “hate.” And I feel obligated to point out that “hate” can be based on legitimate criticism. What makes something hate is not the criticism necessarily being invalid (though it sometimes is), but rather the tone and method of addressing the issue.

Sending anon messages that start with “do you hate [identity]?” is definitely hate. Using a belligerent tone might suggest that something is hate. Posting something knowing your followers are also going to send anonymous angry messages to the person is hate. Anything where your intent is to make the other person feel bad rather than understand what they did wrong is hate.

Addressing an issue in a way that is not hate looks like:

Explaining why you feel hurt by the other person’s words with the intent of them understanding your side

Listening to how the other person feels, and trying to help them find better ways of expressing those feelings in the future

Ceding on points where the other person is right

Possibly having this conversation privately if possible.

And even if you still object to the word “hate” to describe this, I’m sure we can at least agree that it’s not a productive way of fixing the problem.

On “Oversharing”

I think the above section addresses most of my issues with the way this was handled, but I also want to address these points made by @aro-allo-positivity, in the context of listing things that are “wrong” with queeragamic:

“Needlessly gives other people private information about your sex life”

“Needlessly telling people it’s not sexual enforces the exclusionist rhetoric that aces overshare about their sex lives”

“Coiner also said something along the lines of being tired of having to explicitly state that their qpr isn’t sexual. Which like. You definitely don’t have to do.”

“Especially to people who didn’t ask.”

“How weird would it be to introduce a romantic partner to someone and then say “we don’t have sex” like………”

This is entirely inappropriate. You are not ace, and the only one reinforcing exclusionist rhetoric that aces overshare about their sex lives is you.

Some aces are uncomfortable with people assuming that their significant relationships are sexual, and there is nothing wrong with those aces making it clear that their relationships are not sexual. Yes, there is a time and a place, but nothing about this particular situation says “wrong time or place”.

When we respond to hate, we need to make sure we’re not doing it on the aphobe’s terms, or we’re going to accidentally end up hurting people. The reason this is wrong is the same reason it’s wrong when allo aces respond to aphobes by saying “asexual doesn’t mean aromantic.” In this situation, it’s bad that aphobes conflate identifying as asexual with sharing about your sex life. It’s ALSO bad that they’re saying that it’s always wrong to share that information.

That’s the dangerous trap with responding to aphobes or when talking about stereotypes in general. Stereotypes are always bad for two reasons 1) they make a generalization, and 2) they imply that the stereotypical trait is a bad thing (it’s not, in most cases at least). A lot of people accidentally perpetuate part 2 when trying to address part 1, and I think that’s what happened to you here.

I suggest thinking about how you wish allo aces would make amends when they do something similar, like saying “asexual doesn’t mean aromantic” in this type of context, and correct yourself the way you wish they would.

And also, calling people weird is just generally not a good thing, and if you’re about to say that in the future, I’d take a second look and make sure you’re not hurting people with what you’re going to say.

Other thoughts

I do have a few other thoughts about the word “queeragamic”. Disclaimer that in this section I am not trying to tell other people how they can label themselves, but I also just don’t like the word.

First, I just really don’t like the word itself. Like, I absolutely hate that the word makes direct references to asexual reproduction on purpose. Also, the word “queerplatonic” comes from “queering” the “platonic”, so… this doesn’t follow that format? So I’m confused as to why the prefix “queer” is there. Because “agamic” isn’t an existing social structure that you could “queer”.

Second, I do have some concerns about reasons why people want to use a word that means “non-sexual qpr”. Sometimes people in qprs make the mistake of assuming that their partner is on the same page as them with regards to what activities they are going to do in their relationship. It’s important to talk about boundaries in relationships and make sure you’re on the same page as your partner! I’m vaguely worried that people will use this term as a replacement for actual communication - no single word will ever be able to communicate exactly what you want in a relationship, so make sure to talk about whether you want sex, hand-holding, or anything else in your partnership regardless of what you call it.

Also, genuine question: is there a reason it’s important to have a specific name for this rather than just saying “non-sexual qpr”, which is much more likely to be understood without giving a vocab lesson (where you’ll end up saying that anyway), and relatively short as well?

#queeragamic #queerplatonic #intracommunity issues

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thatwriterwiththeblock · 4 years

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qp attraction and how it’s NOT “just best friends”

Hello! Queer ace person here!

QPPs are different for everyone, especially given the relative newness of the actual term, though platonic partners have always existed without having a name or a thought to it. For some people it’s ambiguously romantic and physically intimate, for others it’s strictly nonsexual and nonromantic (like me!) Some qpps get married, some live together and raise families/pets together, some move into the same neighborhood as neighbors, some do long distance or separate living spaces!

A lot of people have an issue with this word given queer’s use as a slur as well as the idea that cishets aren’t queer and can’t use it. To start with, “queer” is a word that has long since been reclaimed by a large majority of the community, myself and company included, and most folks are proud to use it as an umbrella term and sexuality. Not to mention that it’s use mainly originates in that it’s a queer- or unusual/odd- way of experiencing romantic or sexual attraction, much the same as why aromantic/asexual are usually included in the community, because it’s not straight-and-narrow cishet. Therefore, it’s inherently a queer relationship, as a queer way of experiencing attraction.

However, plenty of people also feel uncomfortable with using the word themselves because of said past as a slur, or don’t view themselves as queer or part of the LGBTQ+ community at all, and that’s okay! There’s another word too: Quasiplatonic. Feel free to use it! However, don’t tell people who feel comfortable with queer or queerplatonic that they shouldn’t be if they’re not referring to you.

As to the question of whether it’s misunderstood romantic attraction or misidentified friendship, the answer is: it’s neither! People who have qpps or experience qp attraction are perfectly capable of nurturing and appreciating deep and meaningful friendships, as are aro and/or aces themselves! They are not necessarily incapable of romance either, depending on their romantic orientation. Implying that we’re just fucking up friendship or not understanding romance is missing the entire point of the fact that it is an entirely different type of relationship from either!

Would I live with my best friend for the rest of our lives? Absolutely, we’d have a blast! Would I live with my girlfriend? Yes! We’ve been planning to for ages! Would I live with a potential qpp? It’d be up to them but I would love to!

Would I have a different relationship with all three? Yup!

I’ve only recently started categorizing the feeling properly myself, as I didn’t realize it was a thing for a while! But it’s quite a different sensation. My squish isn’t actually my best friend, that’s someone else. Platonic crushes, at least in the QPP sense, have a lot in common with romantic crushes in terms of “ah I love the way their voice sounds,” “I appreciate how creative they are,” “I love the way they look,” etc; and the devotion, fulfilment, and daydreaming are similar too, lol. But it’s just a different feeling than romantic or friendship.

it’s easier to understand from an ace point of view I think actually- like, normally when you ask someone how to differentiate friendship from romantic love, they’ll say there’s a passion or a heat and they want to be together forever and kiss and stuff. As an ace, however, I really only relate to the “together forever” thing, so what differentiates romance from regular friendship to me? Not much other than “it just feels different from friendship”. Most people who aren’t jackasses wouldn’t tell me my romantic relationships are just fucked up, misnamed friendships because they’re nonsexual, but they probably at that point wouldn’t be able to tell me how it’s different from a friendship, either.

That’s not too much different from platonic feelings! They are, for me and many others who experience qp attraction, different from Romantic feelings and different from Friendships. How? We can spend all day explaining it, but everyone would have a different answer, the same way everyone has a different answer for why they’re romantically involved with someone instead of platonically. At the end of the day, I love my friends and would kill and die for all of them, value my relationships with them immensely, and wouldn’t give them up just to have a qpp; I love my girlfriend who was my friend first but was one of my first real experiences with falling in love; and I also have qp feelings for another one of my close friends, who doesn’t mind them even if they don’t return them.

In Conclusion: the aroace community coined a term for something that has probably always existed in many forms, I am one of the people who experiences this type of attraction, and if you think we’re undermining the Power of Friendship, then y’all can mind your own god damn business.

#qpp #qpr #queerplatonic #squish #this is brought to you by i'm super tired of seeing posts calling us out for using slurs and appropriating friendships to be special #not understanding is one thing but don't be a dick. just ask us normally #asexual #aspec #lgbt

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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 7 years

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The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 24

(aka the royalty AU story)

Be the change you want to see in the world, right? Well I wanna see more aro ace characters. So here, have a CANON ARO ACE CHARACTER THIS CHAPTER :D

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23] [AO3]

The weather was warm enough for Kim to sit outside at the fountain, doing his homework on the ground with the calming sound of water to focus his mind. Max was busy tutoring someone else at the moment so Kim was on his own. It felt kind of strange doing his homework without Max there to help if he needed it, even though he could usually do it by himself these days. Perhaps he was just getting too used to Max’s company. In any case, it felt somewhat harder to concentrate without Max, though he tried his best.

“Hello, Kim.”

He looked up to see Marchesa Lila walking towards him, a bright orange parasol in hand to protect her from the sun.

“Oh, hey Lila,” he muttered, then went back to working on his homework.

“I was just out here for a walk,” she said, striding right up to him and looking down at him with those enticing green eyes of hers. “I didn’t realize you would be here too, what a coincidence! This really is a lovely fountain, though. What a beautiful, romantic setting.”

Kim was very tempted to ask why she was very clearly hitting on him when he thought she was interested in Adrien instead, but he stopped himself. Lila always hit on everyone, it probably didn’t mean anything. He gave her a quick smile then tried to get back to his homework again.

“A day like this is too good for wasting on work,” she simpered, putting the tip of her parasol down on the sheet of paper and dragging it aside. “Would you like to join me on my walk?”

“Um, no thanks. I have to get this homework done, then I’ve got a football match, and later I was gonna go skating with Alix…”

Lila’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “So… you’re not afraid of her snake?”

“What? Pffff, no way, I’m not scared of snakes. Her snake totally loves me. We’re besties.”

“I’m not scared of snakes either.” Lila flipped her long hair over her shoulder. “My country has venomous cobras too, I’ve tamed them with my bare hands. And I like skating too, you know, I’m a real expert at it. Unfortunately I can’t show you because I recently hurt my foot in a dangerous stunt so my doctor said not to, so I left my rollerskates back in Rossi. Have you been there? You should visit, it’s iconic. The rich, powerful centre of the trade world.”

What? No, none of that could be right, surely. Kim remembered Max teaching him about half the things she just mentioned and… no, there was no way. If she was lying just to get his attention, well, she must have thought he knew nothing about global affairs whatsoever.

“Italia doesn’t have cobras,” he said. “Max said the only venomous snakes in Italia are vipers. And rollerskates are patented in Kubdel, which doesn’t trade with Italia so if you even have skates they must be illegal or directly from when you’ve visited, both of which are hard for a marquise. And Rossi only trades with the Italian mainland and doesn’t have much political power, though I guess it’s kinda wealthy compared to surrounding countries…”

He was impressed at himself by how easily he could recall these facts. Max really must have done a great job at tutoring, that was for sure.

Lila, on the other hand, looked as far from impressed as possible.

“Are you trying to make me look bad or something? I was just trying to be friendly!”

“Huh? No, nothing like that, I was just confused why you were lying…”

“I wasn’t lying!” she huffed, stomping her foot. “How dare you accuse me of being a liar? Because I’m not!”

“Then I guess you were just mistaken or something?”

“No, I know what I’m talking about! I’m much smarter than you, and–”

She stopped and took a deep breath, cooling her temper a little.

“Alright, fine, I might have been exaggerating a bit. I just wanted to have a conversation with you, that was all. I didn’t realize you were just as much of a swot as that Max guy.”

“Max is way smarter than me,” Kim said. “But uh… I’m guessing all the other stuff you’ve told everyone about Rossi this week isn’t true either, is it?”

“It’s kind of true!”

That was probably a lie too. “Lila, I won’t tell anyone you lied. I show off all the time too, it’s fine. But maybe tone it down a bit? If you keep lying then everyone else will realize too, and I don’t think they’d mind much either but someone like Chloé might, and she won’t be happy about that, especially since you’re not technically royalty… So if you want to make friends then probably stop making stuff up, it’ll be easier. I’ll be your friend if you want.”

“Thank you, Kim. But I don’t think I’m interested in being friends with someone who thinks of me as a liar and is going to be judging everything I say. I’ll keep your advice in mind, though. Have fun with your… homework.”

She whirled round and marched off.

Was she upset with him? Was she really going to stop lying? It hurt a little that she had assumed he would be so easy to lie to, and that she had been surprised that he wasn’t just some airhead who didn’t know anything. Was that really how people saw him?

It was probably how they saw him compared with Max, anyway. Anyone was an airhead in comparison with Max. Kim would just have to work harder to show everyone that there was more to him than sportiness and challenges, that was all.

As for Lila, he really had wanted to make friends with her – he knew perfectly well what it was like to want to show off in front of new people to make sure they liked you. But outright lying was something else entirely! He didn’t want a friendship based on lies. And if she didn’t want a friendship based on truth, then it probably wasn’t ever going to happen.

Poor girl… hopefully she would find someone who liked her for who she actually was, and she wouldn’t feel the need to lie to them. Everyone deserved someone to be their true self with.

The summer gala was quickly drawing nearer, and the end of the school year with it. It was going to be an informal, optional event, held in the large open square.

“I’m not going to this one either,” Alix said to Kim and Max after the lesson where they had been told the details about it. “If everyone’s at the gala then there’ll be no one around to tell me off or give me detention for doing all the stuff I’ve always wanted to do at this school.”

“What kind of stuff?” Max asked, looking rather sternly at her. “It’s not illegal, is it?”

“Nah, just stuff like skating down the stair railings and climbing those huge trees near the perimeter.”

“You will break your neck and die.”

“Jeez Max, who replaced you with Jalil? I’ll be fine! It’ll be way more fun than some stupid social event, you know I hate stuff like that. Anyway, if you guys are worried I’ll die then you are free to join me and supervise. As long as you don’t tell the teachers or anything.”

“I’m going to the gala, but Kim can keep you company,” Max said, giving Kim a pointed look.

“Fine. If he can keep up with me, that is.”

“Of course I can keep up!” Kim said. “We should have a race – who can climb the tree the quickest. Loser has to jump from like 20 metres up.”

“Let’s reduce that to 2 metres,” Max said hastily. “Anyway Kim, I need to talk to you about something, that thing to do with that homework thing, come on…”

Without waiting, Max grabbed Kim’s arm and pulled him away.

“What homework thing?” Kim asked once they had stopped.

“That was just an excuse to get you away, I need to say something without Alix being here. Listen – it’s been a long time, I’m getting sick of being wingman if you’re not even going to do anything. You and her not going to the gala will be your chance to tell her you like her, so do it, okay?”

Kim nodded. “You’re right, I’ll totally do it this time. I promise. Thanks, Max. You’re the coolest wingman ever. But… you don’t have to go to the gala if you don’t want to, seriously, I don’t mind if you’re there with us, it’ll probably help me not be such an idiot anyway because I’m always more sensible when you’re around–”

“I’d rather not interfere,” Max muttered. “I’ve already made up my mind, I’m going to the gala. You’ll be fine on your own.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. She must be on the verge of noticing you like her – you’ve asked her for a kiss more than once, you played her a romantic ballad on the day of the Cupid Festival, you were rather obvious about the sports bra incident, everyone else in the class has noticed already… Her obliviousness has to have a limit. And of course, if you just tell her outright, you’ll bypass that problem entirely.”

Kim sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just… every time I want to say something, I just remember what happened with Chloé! And I know Alix wouldn’t be like that, but I just can’t help thinking about it, and I’m just… I’m…” He lowered his voice. “…I’m afraid of being rejected like that again.”

“That’s fair enough. I suppose Chloé’s rejection affected you more than you realized. But things will be different this time, I’m certain. You can do it.”

“I can do it,” Kim repeated, trying to reassure himself. “Yeah, I can and WILL do it. I’ve totally got this. It’ll be fine. It’ll be awesome! Thanks Max, you’re awesome too!”

He gave Max a hug, then ran off.

The gala wasn’t much different from the other seasonal socials had been, though it was far more relaxed than the formal ones. Max stood alone by the refreshments table, drinking glass after glass of orange juice and wondering if it was possible to get drunk off it. Scientifically it wasn’t, but he could always hope.

He tried so hard not to feel sorry for himself. He was happy for Kim. He really was! Kim was his best friend, and Max would do anything for him. Even if it hurt a lot.

Juleka wandered over to him, dressed in the kind of bright pink that her sweetheart Rose would usually wear.

“Hi Max, you alright?”

Max shrugged. “Alright is certainly the right word. Not great, but alright.”

“Unrequited love hurts, doesn’t it?”

He almost spat out his drink. She was smiling at him in a somewhat sad, pitying sort of way.

“Yes, I can tell,” she said. “I have much better gaydar than Alya does.”

“Juleka, did you ever have crushes on straight girls?” Max asked suddenly, unable to help himself. “Or girls who just weren’t interested in you? How did you deal with it?”

“I had plenty of crushes before Rose, but I was too shy to ever do anything about it so nothing ever happened.”

“How did you have the courage to ask out Rose?”

“She was already my close friend, so I knew that even if she didn’t feel the same way about me, it wouldn’t end up weird between us. Rose is such a sweetie, of course she would understand. And also Kim kind of egged me on.”

Max couldn’t help but grin. “Kim has no subtlety whatsoever.”

“Of course he doesn’t. You’re much better at hiding your feelings. I think I’m the only one who’s noticed so far.”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t. But maybe you should do something about it.”

“I can’t – Kim doesn’t love me like that, does he?”

Juleka shook her head. “Looks to me like he’s head over heels for Alix.”

“Maybe I should have done something much earlier. It’s too late now. They’re hanging out right at this moment. Probably already sweethearts by now.”

“I doubt it very much.”

“Really? Why?”

“Well, considering that Alix hasn’t even noticed yet that Kim likes her despite how obvious he’s been, she probably isn’t even remotely interested. And, uh, my gaydar is somewhat going off. At least, she’s not straight. I know that much. Same with Kim.”

Max tried not to put too much faith in that. Gaydar wasn’t exactly scientific, so it had to be taken with a grain of salt. Even if Juleka seemed to know more than she let on. Kim was bi, Max knew that, but Alix? What was she, then?

“Anyway,” Juleka said, “I’ll be off now, gotta go back to my sweet Rose and get her that drink she asked me for. Goodbye Max, and good luck.”

She took a drink off the table and walked away. Lucky her… she and Rose were together, and perfectly happy. Though they didn’t exactly tell people the nature of their relationship, no one was really fooled into thinking it was merely close friendship. Thankfully, it seemed that the royalty class at least all seemed to be alright with it. That gave Max a little hope for the future.

He took another swig of orange juice, feeling the fruity sugars imbuing him with hyper energy. Perhaps he shouldn’t have had so much of it. He could barely stand still, wanting to bounce up and down on his toes. His brain was going much too fast as well, coming up with all sorts of stupid thoughts and scenarios quicker than he could stop them.

Was it selfish to wish that Juleka was right, and that Alix didn’t love Kim back? But then again, he didn’t really wish that. He just wanted Kim to be happy, that was what. The problem was whether or not it would make him happy too.

Most of all he wished he had done something earlier. He should have told Kim the truth a long time ago. It would be too late to do that now, when things were so far along. But the longer he waited, the more painful it felt…

Meanwhile, Kim and Alix (and her snake) spent the whole afternoon being able to mess around without any supervision whatsoever, sliding down the railings, clambering up onto the school roof and trying to catch pigeons, throwing algae from the stream at each other, having rollerskate races, trying to avoid the school guards hanging around, jumping off dangerously high tree branches…

By the time the sun was setting, they were both quite tired and they sat on the warm grass under the trees, resting. The little daisies growing everywhere gave Kim an idea.

“Let’s see who can make a daisy chain flower crown the quickest,” he said, starting to pick a few flowers.

“I don’t know how to make those. All the flowers growing in my kingdom are artificial or for decoration, I’m never allowed to pick them.”

“Here, I’ll show you how to do it.”

Using his nail to make a little hole in the stem of one flower, he linked it up with another, then carried on. She watched with interest. Within a few minutes he had a full flower crown ready.

“Nice!” she said, taking off her headdress which the snake was curled up around, putting it down on the grass beside her. “Go on then, make me a cool hippie flower witch.”

He put the flower crown on her head, then sat back and had a look…

It didn’t suit her. Not even a little bit. Yet despite that, he was hit by a surge of longing so strong it made him feel dizzy. There was just something about the way she was smirking at him, her head tilted at that frustratingly cute angle, glints of gold from the setting sun lighting up her pink hair, the tank top leaving every muscle on her arms exposed…

He knew he should tell her how he felt. He’d promised Max he would do it, and he hadn’t yet. Now was the time.

He was just about to speak when she lay down on the grass on her back, looking up at the sky. “There are actually clouds in this country, it’s such a nice change. I can do that thing they do in movies where they look at the clouds and try to point out shapes. Never done it before. That one there, it looks like a… a snake! It’s totally a snake, right?”

Kim looked at the cloud she was pointing at. “Um… it l-looks like an earthworm to me b-but…”

“Gee, what’s up? You sound ill all of a sudden.”

He certainly felt ill – in particular, too lovesick to function properly. Maybe that was a good thing, though. Maybe she would finally notice. That might be better than outright telling her, which was still too nerve-wracking to properly consider.

“Can we have an arm wrestle?” he asked her suddenly.

“What, now? Sure, I guess, that’s kinda random but why not…”

She turned onto her side and lazily grabbed his hand. He was sure the adrenaline would give him enough strength to win easily, but he was still distracted enough to lose within just a few seconds.

“You’re off your game, dude,” she said. “Are you too tired or something? Because that wasn’t even a challenge.”

Just hearing the word “challenge” would ordinarily have snapped him back into action, but he was hyperaware of the fact that he hadn’t yet let go of her hand, and was sitting so close to her, and everything around them was so idyllic and peaceful, and it was just so overwhelming he could hardly even speak.

“Yeah, I’m tired,” he mumbled.

“You need more sleep. You’ve been working yourself too hard recently.” When he didn’t reply, she waved her other hand in front of his face. “Kim? You there?”

“Sorry, I’m j-just…” He scrambled to think of something to say that wasn’t cheesy. “Your hair… I don’t see it that much because… headdress… anyway it looks, um, really pretty…”

Whoops, that was definitely cheesy.

“Oh, cool, thanks.”

Phew, she didn’t seem to think that was weird.

“Can I stroke it?”

He wanted to smack himself in the face – what kind of stupid, weird question was that? Why didn’t he ever think before speaking?

“What is it with you thinking of me as a cat?” she said, grinning. “You did this at the sleepover too, remember?”

Oh thank goodness, she wasn’t weirded out by that either, despite the fact that it was definitely, objectively, weird.

“Well yeah, you’re really cute,” he said quickly, feeling his cheeks burning. “Not just like a cat, I mean, but like… cute. As in, pretty. N-not as much as me though! I’m the coolest, obviously, haha, but like… you’re second, so…”

She laughed. “You’re seriously the only person I know who has ever called me ‘cute’. Usually the word is ‘annoying’ or ‘intimidating’, but ‘cute’ is new. Clearly I’ve not been scary enough lately. Want me to pretend I’m gonna get the snake to eat you again?”

“If you want.”

“Seriously?” She laughed again. “Kim, you’re after something, aren’t you? You’re being so overly nice to me today! What is it you want from me, a telephone? More skating lessons? A less violent Monopoly game?”

“I’m allowed to be nice, aren’t I?”

“Oh yeah, I’m not complaining! It’s just so weird, like you’re trying to appease me or soften a blow or secretly in love with me or something…”

His heart skipped so many beats he was half sure he was having a heart attack. It must have shown on his face, since she frowned suddenly.

“Kim, are you okay? Did I say something? I was just kidding, I didn’t mean–” She let go of his hand rather quickly and sat up. “Wait a second… okay this sounds really weird but I’m just checking… are you in love with me?”

How on earth was he supposed to answer that? The honest answer was yes! But the way she was frowning, looking as if that was not the answer she wanted to hear…

Still, he had promised Max he would do this. It was now or never.

“Since September.”

He had hoped he would stay calm enough to not run off straightaway to avoid whatever the consequences of his confession were, but as soon as he saw the look of complete shock on her face, he leapt to his feet and tore off without looking back.

Kim did not sleep very well that night. He hadn’t even been down to have dinner, just munching on snacks in his room instead, and was seriously contemplating hiding away in here all of the next day too. He did not want to run into Alix. She probably thought he was a complete weirdo, a creep, she wouldn’t want to be his friend now…

In the morning there was a knock on the door. He stayed as silent as possible just in case it was Alix, but then he heard the reassuring voice of Max on the other side.

“Kim, are you in there? Can I come in?”

Kim opened the door. “Oh man, Max, I could not be happier to see you… How was the gala?”

“It was okay,” Max said. “But I’m actually here with a message. Alix wants to talk to you about something, but she wanted me to check first if you actually want to see her or not. I’m assuming you two left something on a bit of a cliff-hanger yesterday.”

“Yeah…” Kim sighed. “Okay, fine, I’ll talk to her. I may as well get it over with. I’ll tell you everything later, I promise.”

“Alright, I’ll send her along. See you later.”

Kim watched Max walk back down the corridor, feeling dread settling in his stomach. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too bad…

A few minutes later he got another knock on his door, and he reluctantly opened it and let Alix in. For once she didn’t have the snake with her – perhaps it had just eaten or something. Well, at least that meant he wouldn’t be killed with it, no matter what else happened.

“Ignore yesterday,” he said immediately, not really looking at her. “Just pretend that didn’t happen, I’m sorry, I was just being an idiot and I know you’re probably mad at me and–”

“What? No, I’m not mad at you.” She was looking at him with an expression that looked mostly like pity, though it was always hard to tell what she was thinking when she wasn’t trying to make it clear. “It’s okay. But I really have to tell you something, so just be quiet and listen.”

So she wasn’t mad, that was a good start. Hopefully the rest of whatever she was going to say wouldn’t be too bad either.

“At my oracle session, the question I asked Master Fu was if there’s gonna be a succession crisis in my kingdom after I die. He said there will be one. Most people would be really upset about that, but for me… it’s good. That was the answer I wanted. Do you know why?”

Kim shook his head. He had never really thought about kingdom succession very much before.

“It’s because if there’s no one to succeed me, it means I have no heirs. And the way succession laws work in my kingdom, it means I have no spouse either. As in, I never marry or have kids. And most people would be horrified about that, too, but…”

She was looking at the ground, as if she was ashamed or nervous to say it.

“…I don’t even know why, but I just… have this kind of… aversion to stuff like that. You know, romance and marriage and stuff. It’s never interested me. Boys, girls, whatever, I don’t care. I have no preference. As in, my preference is none. And because I’m a royal, I always assumed when I grow up I’ll end up forced into a marriage or something and pressured into providing an heir for the throne, that kind of thing, that always happens to people. But the idea of that… it terrifies me.”

Her voice was so quiet by now it was almost hard to hear. It seemed like this was the first time she was ever saying any of this out loud.

“So I was super relieved when I got Fu’s answer because it means I’ll get to live as the kind of pharaoh I want to, without having to marry anyone or anything, I can’t stand the idea of having to do something like that with no choice. I can just be myself. And I guess it’s kinda weird… that I don’t, you know, ever have crushes on people or know what it’s like to fall in love like that, but... maybe I’m not the only one? I don’t know, I’ve never met anyone else like me, but if as a pharaoh I can let the world know this is who I am then maybe other people like this will come forward saying they feel the same way and I’ll know I’m not alone…”

She finally looked back up at him, though she still seemed somewhat nervous.

“And so yeah, I’m not into you like that. But it’s not personal – I’m not into anyone like that. And I want to let you know that this doesn’t change anything, you’re still my best friend, okay? I mean, it’s actually kinda flattering that you like me. I never expected anyone to, I’m not really… I don’t know, conventional? Feminine? I’m just weird, I never thought anyone would be into me. What do you see in me, anyway?”

Kim’s throat felt so choked up it was a wonder he could even speak. “Honestly I don’t even know… you’re really cool, I guess? So spirited and carefree and the only person who can ever match me in a challenge… it’s inspiring, and awesome, and… uh, not that it matters too much, but you are pretty hot, so…”

She cracked a grin. “So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type? Because there was Chloé too, right?”

“Haha yeah, maybe… Did you really not notice I liked you before yesterday? I think the whole class had noticed already.”

“I really didn’t know,” she admitted. “I’m so oblivious when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, I did occasionally think about it. Like when you played that song for me on the day of the Cupid Festival, but then you said it was a friendship song, so…”

“It was a love song.”

“Ah, that makes more sense. And then at spring with the sports bra I wondered too, but I just chalked it up to you being a teenage guy and having a thing for sports bras.”

“Well, I guess it was a combination of all that...”

“Fair enough.”

“Anyway, um, for the record I totally do care about you as a friend too, I promise,” Kim said. “Like, platonically. So thanks for saying you’ll still be my best friend, and we can just carry on like normal… maybe now I’ve got this off my chest this crush will go away… I really just do wanna be your friend. You’re an awesome friend.”

“Yeah, you’re a… a… okay, this is going to sound really cheesy, but I have to say it, so just shut up and listen.”

She took a deep breath, folding her arms and looking at the floor again.

“Just because I’m not in love with you, doesn’t mean I don’t love you, okay? Because I totally do. You’re my best friend, and before this year I didn’t really have any friends, so you’re just… you’re really important to me and this friendship means so much to me, okay? And you’re so awesome and supportive and always there for me… a-and I will be your winggirl. You deserve someone amazing who loves you back. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re the best and I just want you to be happy.”

Kim didn’t dare say anything, since he felt sure if he even said a word he would just burst into tears on the spot. He was sure no one had ever said something so nice to him before – except maybe Max.

“And I have something to give you,” Alix said, unfolding her arms and looking up at him again. “I forgot about it ages ago but this all kind of reminded me. Anyway, kneel down.”

He kneeled, now roughly the same height as her.

“Now close your eyes.”

That sounded ominous. Feeling apprehensive, he closed his eyes and waited. He heard her footsteps coming towards him, then she took his face in her hands…

And kissed him.

He was so shocked he opened his eyes – though by that time it was over already anyway.

“That was left over from the mistletoe at the winter party,” she said, and he noticed she was blushing a little. “I thought I might as well do it, since you like me and everything. I guess we’d both forgotten about it.”

He tried not to freak out, though it was difficult when his brain felt like it had turned to mush, and his heartrate was so high he felt like he was going to collapse. He could still feel his lips tingling, though it had only lasted a few seconds at most…

“I hadn’t forgotten,” he admitted. “I just… didn’t want to ask… thought it would be weird…”

“Well yeah, it was pretty weird. But not bad, I guess. Anyway, I’m gonna go brush my teeth and hope I didn’t catch anything from you, so I’ll see you later. And you have my permission to tell Max everything.”

“Thanks.” That was something he was definitely going to do, alright.

“No problem.” She gave him a friendly punch in the arm, then opened the door and left.

Kim didn’t move from where he was for a few minutes, still reeling from the kiss. Memories of his oracle session suddenly came back to him, especially one phrase in particular: don’t get your hopes up.

This was what Master Fu had meant. It was clear now. Kim did indeed get a kiss from Alix, just like he wanted… but not for the reasons he wanted. It was a platonic kiss, if such a thing existed.

But at this point he didn’t even mind. Mostly, he was just relieved that Alix still wanted to be his friend. He was content with that. At least now he had nothing to hide from her, and he knew nothing would get in the way of their friendship. The thought made him feel so much better.

Yeah… friends. That would be for the best.

#three guesses who said aro ace character is #anyway the ace part gets much more obvious later. atm it's mostly just aro #and i will absolutely mention the actual words aromantic and asexual at some point i promise #sorry this chapter took a while i've been so busy this week #lol i dropped in the word 'heartrate' on purpose cause i like to pretend i am funny #anyway from now on events in the story are gonna get a tad more serious #royalty au #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #le chien kim #lila rossi #(not sure if i'll make lila relevant again... i feel like i should but i got nothing planned rn)#max kante #alix kubdel #random stuff #the misadventures of prince kim #aish writes

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askanaroace · 5 years

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Right now I'm only calling myself asexual because everytime I think about romantic orientation I'm like ???. I don't know what romantic attraction means. Is it about being able to fall in love, or is it about the desire to have a romantic relationship? How can you tell you're in love? What if you can fall in love but you don't want a romantic relationship? What if you want a relationship but you can't tell if it fits the mold of romance? I'm afraid of using the label wrong and offending people.

You’re asking excellent questions! And unfortunately, there is no excellent, extremely clear answer to be able to give in return. The truth is, a lot of that... kinda depends... on you. How you categorize your feelings and what your preference is and how you feel about it all. Romance, romantic actions, romantic attraction, and romantic relationships are all going to vary by person.

I wrote about a couple of the different ways romantic attraction manifested for me in the past. That’s a lot of variation and that’s just in one person! The same person!

I’m going to really quickly run through your questions, and then follow up with some advice that may be more helpful than these answers:

“Is it about being able to fall in love, or is it about the desire to have a romantic relationship?“

Romantic attraction is being attracted to people romantically. Someone can experience romantic attraction and not want to have a romantic relationship. Someone may not experience romantic attraction but does want a romantic relationship. People come in all different shapes, sizes, and configurations.

I do always stand by the opinion that if someone doesn’t want a romantic relationship and they find it helpful to identify as aromantic as a result, then I support that.

“How can you tell you're in love?“

Depends on the person. Like all emotions, it does take a degree of emotional intelligence to be able to recognize and categorize your feelings (whether that that feeling is a clearly defined emotion or a blurry emotion that you then act upon depending on what boundaries you have and what you want to do). Recognizing an emotion is blurry and can’t be clearly defined also takes a degree of emotional intelligence. In fact, it can take more because deciding how you want to react to and act upon that emotion can be more difficult.

“What if you can fall in love but you don't want a romantic relationship?“

Valid.

I do always stand by the opinion that if someone doesn’t want a romantic relationship and they find it helpful to identify as aromantic as a result, then I support that. (Yes, I reposted this here for this question, too.)

“What if you want a relationship but you can't tell if it fits the mold of romance?“

Who cares about molds? You’re not a cookie or a handprint, and neither you nor your relationships have to (or likely even will) fit into some “mold”.

What do you want the relationship to be? What are you comfortable defining it as? How are you meaning your actions in this relationship? How about the other person/other people in the relationship? (And are these categorizations and desires compatible or do things need discussed and re-defined?)

If you’re not sure what you want the relationship to be, call it whatever you want. Maybe look into queerplatonic relationships. Maybe call it a flirt-inclined friendship. Perhaps call it a committed, intimate relationships. Maybe refer to it as your wibbly wobbly timey wimey relationship. Whatever it is, you can discuss it with whoever and whomever is compatible with you for this type of relationship will hear and respect what you’re saying. Perhaps it’s a romance-lite. Maybe a romantic friendship. The specific label honestly matters way less than the people involved. Do you have good communication? Boundaries you all respect? Are you happy? That all sounds amazing!

Now. What I can more solidly say is that if you’re having a hard time categorizing your feelings or figuring out if you do feel romantic attraction, then that’s a good sign that you’re on the right path questioning. You’re probably confused for a reason.

I’ve got a really good post buried in my queue coming up somewhere here on quoiromanticism. I would suggest you look into quoiromanticism, though, and even cupioromanticism and gray-aromanticism. I mentioned queerplatonic relationships above, and I’ll also throw in alterous attraction.

The point is, does it help you to identify as aromantic? Do you want to identify as aromantic? Does it help you communicate how you feel if you use aromantic? Then identify as aromantic! This is what questioning is about. So many of us need to use a label for months or even years before actually realizing if it fits us or not. What you are doing is not offensive. It is human and exactly what you should be doing.

And as a word of warning? Anybody who gets offended because you’re using the “wrong” label or “using the label wrong” (what does that even mean? how can your own personal label be wrong???), then they’re likely gatekeeping, identity policing bigots and absolutely not worth your time.

#questioning #aromantic #romantic attraction #romantic relationships #quoiromantic #ask #long post #Anonymous

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littlehollyleaf · 5 years

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@bold-sartorial-statement - to compare to your straight friend watching Good Omens experiment, I have got MY straight friend to watch it as well! :P

To give context, my friend is an English Lit student like me, so he has some experience analysing fiction (albeit, like me, is more proficient doing so with the written word than with television - but like, REALLY proficient, his marks were always higher than mine, he’s a smart guy). So he’s generally open to all different interpretations of a text ANYWAY. He has also had to suffer my constant rants about various queer readings of different shows/ships for years and years, so he is often aware of how certain moments/dialogue can be interpreted in a queer way. Generally though he is quick to tell me stuff like - yes Holly, I absolutely see that this look/moment/conversation can be read as gay (he typically uses ‘gay’ as an umbrella term for LGBTQ+ as opposed to ‘queer’ like me), but you have to understand that while you can read it that way it isn’t actually being written/portrayed like that and nothing is actually going to come of it in the story. And, well, usually he’s correct (the one time he WASN’T was with Oswald in Gotham - I showed him the almost kiss on the sofa with Ed and he was all ‘no Holly, they were never going to kiss, it doesn’t mean anything.’ But ofc the very next episode Ozzie confessed to being in love with Ed :p I crowed at him about that for ages!)

Anyway, that’s context of my friend. To add to this - his watching the show was, I’m afraid, in NO WAY a ‘sterile’ experiment. I literally told him “I need you to watch this show so you can tell me if it’s gay.” It was really the only way I was gonna get him watching. So he went in ‘prepared’ in that sense.

I got the ball rolling by making him watch the first episode with me. He turned to me after and said ‘the answer is no, nothing yet’ in regards to queer subtext/text. Which is fair - on my first viewing I didn’t feel there was a great deal of queer subtext in the first episode either. I mean, you know, obviously THERE IS subtext, but just, what I might call the general, subtle, ‘hidden’ kind that you get in lots of shows that... never goes anywhere explicit. I did point out that Zira shelters Crowley with his wing at the start, but my friend didn’t think that was enough to imply love of any kind.

After that I had him promise to AT LEAST watch to episode 3, because the beginning of episode 3 was the part I was most interested in hearing his opinion on.

The above convo was after he’d just finished episode 3 at home :)

He then finished the whole show over the next few days and we’ve got together a few times now to discuss in person. Here’s so some key points of discussion, paraphrased.

The first thing he said to me was - “yeah, by the end it was super gay.”

Lol.

The conversation got sidetracked a bit after that with him complaining that there was too much Queen (he is not a fan - don’t judge him, okay? we all have flaws!), but that did give me the chance to ask what he thought of how the songs were used and if that contributed to how Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship was being portrayed. He mentioned how they’d used ‘Somebody to Love,’ but followed up immediately by saying they’d also used ‘My Best Friend’ so *shrug*... I asked him today to clarify if he meant that he felt the use of both songs was giving ‘mixed signals’ about the relationship and he said yes, though he was interested to learn that ‘My Best Friend’ was actually a song about marriage / a husband and wife (I learnt this from you tumblr, I hope I wasn’t giving misinformation!) and said that maybe that changed things.

I asked him if he felt Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship was romantic and he’s been a little bit cagey about it, insisting that ‘well, it’s not explicit.’ But is overall pretty adamant that there are strong gay/romantic elements to them.

He knows about queerbaiting as a concept and has actually asked me several times if the show is an example of it, because the romance is not explicit. So far I’ve not gone into too much depth about the whole thing because... well, you know, it IS a Whole Thing that’s kinda exhausting to talk about. In a nutshell, I’ve told him I personally don’t feel like it is, but that there is debate. I’ve also sort of mentioned in passing that the lack of ‘explicitness’ does allow for Crowley and Zira’s love to be understood in different kinds of ways, like as asexual or aromantic love (I gave a brief explanation of the latter since I didn’t think he’d be familiar with the term - I wasn’t until tumblr after all), and that I think that’s cool. But we haven’t got into any of that in depth (yet!).

It’s very much the ‘we could run away together’ aspect that he keeps bringing up as the key thing. THAT was the part that made their relationship ACTUALLY queer to him (fascinating difference to your friend @bold-sartorial-statement in that my friend didn’t really get much from the church scene, while that was the one part that your friend almost DID get something? ...for my part, that bit with the swelling music and zoom in on Zira at the church was PIVOTAL to me thinking ‘holy shit they REALLY ARE pushing this as romantic, wow, fuck, shit just got real!’ so it’s funny to me that my friend was nonplussed by the moment).

I realise now that I don’t think I ever brought up the issue of the romance being one-sided on Crowley’s part again... but it didn’t seem an issue. The way my friend talks about the relationship when we’re together very much implies he sees whatever feelings they have for each other as mutual.

The one thing that has me satisfied from all this is that when I asked him specifically - ‘so it’s not just me? there’s really something there between them?’ His answer was, in no uncertain terms - ‘no, it’s not just you.’ So... I’m relieved, I guess :p The show passed the ‘Holly’s One Specific Friend Recognises And Admits That It’s Gay’ Test. Bravo, Mr Gaiman and team, bravo!

(aside: my friend also said that he genuinely enjoyed the show, which was a surprise tbh, because he’s not BIG on fantasy, but he said he felt a lot of it was actually MOCKING various fantasy tropes and he enjoyed that, plus he was really surprised and impressed at how good Jack Whitehall’s acting was apparently - probably gonna ask what else he liked another time :p)

#good omens #about me #a true but boring story

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