#everything is free to use (i will be insanely happy if anyone draws them)

[i-have-bees-in-my-brain]

It took me ages but i finished it after like a month

Tigerclaw's family, part one

Tigerclaw himself is big and extremely tall

He has some scars, but the only one visible on his face is the torn ear

Leaders get a marking on the forehead to resemble a star/diamond when they touch their forehead to the Moonstone at their leader ceremony. Tiger, however, was born with this mark, something he considers a sign of his destiny

He's considered an extremely attractive cat and knows it

Face markings are meant to resemble wings which stand for his ambition

Goldenflower

Another tall cat

Very long and fluffy fur

She's well groomed, but there are some strands on her forehead that can't be tamed

Kinda based on a daffodil

Brambleclaw

tigerclone, obviously

He's a little smaller than his father, but still really tall and buff

Only gets the fluff and the lighter-coloured snout and paws from Goldenflower

Tawnypelt

Torbie because she should look like both of her parents. Also her german name translates to Amberpelt and amber can be all of these colours, it makes perfect sense, it symbolizes her relationship to Tigerclaw, i could go on forever

Built like the rest of her family, but is the least fluffy

Looks mean at all times, whereas the rest of the family has a certain friendliness to them (tigerclaw less so but he has so much handsome privilege it cancels out)

Tabby pattern close to Goldenflower's

Her colours are a little diluted

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Emma To Bruce

Dear Bruce,

We did it! The curse is broken! Rupert is free! Long live Rupert!

In retrospect, it’s insane how much of this we tried to do by ourselves. We should have known that when we finally succeeded we would do it with a whole team present—in this case Jem, Tessa, Kit, and Magnus. (Mina assisted by raising morale and drawing all over everything with her toy stele.)

Everyone’s still here, too, and we can relax a little in a newly uncursed house. (It really is quite homey, now that it’s been cleaned up and, you know, had its demonic aura dispelled.) Everyone except Magnus, who left this afternoon in a great rush to get back to New York.

New paragraph to talk about this, actually, because I have a lot of questions that don’t have answers and I can only ask you, Bruce. So Magnus was in a hurry to get back because of a meeting Alec is holding with Luke and some other Downworlders about plans for negotiating with the Cohort. Okay, but I feel like the Cohort doesn’t have much leverage, right? The situation is way worse for them than for us. We should be able to wait them out—shouldn’t we?

I mean they have a symbolic advantage, I guess. We’re all Shadowhunters and we all miss Idris and Alicante and Lake Lyn and probably a lot of us left stuff there we can’t get back and oh right, also a lot of people lived there who have had to evacuate all over the world and want to get back. I get that. But, like…what are the Cohort even eating in there? Idris doesn’t really grow food. Are they all homesteading in there? Raising crops? Churning butter? It’s kind of hard to imagine Zara doing any of that. But you never know. I mean, there aren’t even any demons to fight in there. Which is a good reminder that Shadowhunters are definitely not meant to hole up in Idris where there’s no demons for them to fight. I feel like Raziel was pretty clear on that point.

They must be losing their minds in there. I hope they found some board games or something.

Maybe Zara has declared herself Queen for Life and she doesn’t have to farm because she just marches around threatening to kill anybody who doesn’t grow her a potato right this instant.

Or maybe we haven’t heard anything because they all ate each other in there. Or maybe they mutinied against Zara and someone else gets to threaten to kill people now.

Okay, end of pondering the Cohort. I’m in a good mood, or was before I started this entry, anyway. We’ve been hanging out with Jem and Tessa and Kit and it’s really great. We ordered in Chinese (delivery couriers are always a bit terrified to come up the driveway, but we tip them like crazy so they’ve started to know us while we’ve been here). We lit candles—for ambience instead of for dark magic, what an idea!—and ate dumplings until we were too full to move, a thing I haven’t done since Magnus and Alec’s wedding. Apparently if I am offered dumplings, I will eat them until I become a dumpling myself. To that I say: I would never reject becoming that which I love most.

Anyway. Even Kit was less broody than usual tonight! He was hanging out with Round Tom and they seemed to be getting on okay. Oh, and I almost forgot! How could I forget! The workers found a coffin buried in the garden. But there was not a horrifying dead body inside, but rather a bunch of old stuff! Using a coffin as a time capsule seemed like a weird choice to me, but Tessa and Jem made some faces and some noises that suggested there was a long-ish story there we’ll have to ask about later.

Anyway, in the coffin was A SCABBARD FOR CORTANA. I mean, right? Can you believe it? Tessa said it used to belong to Cordelia Carstairs, who was Cortana’s wielder generations ago. The scabbard needs a lot of cleaning (a lot of cleaning) but then it can be reunited with Cortana. (After all, I think it’s probably more Cortana’s possession than anyone else’s; perhaps they’ll be happy to be reunited.)

There was also a sword for Julian—what used to be a Blackthorn family sword, but this one is only a hilt, its blade is totally missing, I have no idea why. He’s talking about getting it reforged. Big shock, Round Tom knows a guy. Triangular Jerry. No, I’m kidding on the name, but Round Tom actually does know a blacksmith and he and Julian have started talking about getting that done. (Actually, what Round Tom wants to do is have a forge installed at Chiswick, which is a cool idea, but do we want another building project on top of all the others? I mean, maybe, having a forge here at the house would be pretty cool.)

Oh, you might be wondering about Rupert’s ring, since it’s not like he could take it with him, and he hasn’t come back for it in a ghost way. Magnus checked it out and said no magic any more, just an ordinary ring Tatiana must have enchanted to bind Rupert. But none of us is going to wear it, of course. So we put it on the mantelpiece in the drawing room. Where it will remain.

The Gray-Carstairs-Herondaleses are heading back to Cirenworth tomorrow. It’s been really great having them here, but you know, it will be nice to have them go and have it be just Julian and I here in the house, not feeling creepy all the time. That seems like good times for us.

#

Bruce, good times are canceled. Everything’s gone wrong. I guess I was a little too smug about how everything was going; the universe had to come and screw it up for me.

Mina is gone.

And by gone I mean kidnapped.

And by kidnapped I mean, the kidnapper left a creepy old-timey porcelain doll (with wide, dead eyes, ugh) in her place, and a note.

I had just finished writing the above stuff when I heard a horrible scream from upstairs and loud footsteps, and came out to find everyone gathered in Mina’s room staring in horror.

I immediately thought oh no, another curse, or the same curse, the curse isn’t over, and maybe you did too, but that’s not what this is. This is something else entirely. Something involving faeries. Something involving Faerie.

Tessa picked up the note, read it, and handed it to Jem with a bad look on her face. Julian was already opening the window to see if anyone could be spotted outside, and I read over Jem’s shoulder:

[sadesluvr]

Hiii!! When you feel like it could you write some michael afton relationship hc's? Would be nice to have him back a little🤗 Have a great day or night whenever you're reading this and take your time🫶

A/N: TYYY Nonnie for this sweet ask, I really do miss him :') This ask made me so nostalgic for TNP....Love you and thanks for the kind message!!🥰

Some of these are fem! Reader coded, but mostly gender neutral. One mention of drug (weed) use. Based in the 80’s, like game lore:

When you first start dating, he hides you from his family, only ever telling Henry about you. He hates his dad, and although he isn’t ashamed of you he doesn’t want to show you off to Elizabeth and Evan just in case they get too attached (mommy issues…)

Tells Henry everything - the good, the bad (his worries, not yours), the in between…He’s basically Mike’s advisor at this point and poor Henry is clueless

Michael is definitely hot headed and arrogant at times, so he’s going to flaunt you around school (insecurities be damned).

LOVES walking/biking with you EVERYWHERE, and often gets lost whilst spending time with you. He once forgot to open the front door (he wasn’t even HOME) from Liz and Evan when they came off the schoolbus….Not a great day in the Afton household after that

Doodling on your skin with his pens, pretending to tatt you up

Doodling on EVERYTHING you own, and zoning out in class whilst he draws you on his assignments

Doesn’t have a lot of money, but is very scrappy and can still show you a good time on dates. He might be banned from certain outlets, but it's worth it

Makes the most of carnivals/fairs!! They’re cheap and once he’s taken his siblings (if Henry hasn’t already), will treat you. He’ll pay for all the rides, wins you toys and buys you food :3

Sneaking out to meet him, or him coming through your window because your parents “don’t agree” with his lifestyle. Those are the times he wants to spend the night, just laying with you on your bed until you fall asleep. He can’t stay because his siblings need him :’( 

Isn’t the greatest at physical affection, but lets his guard down when he’s high. It’s then when he’s at his most vulnerable (he sometimes cries) and is open for a cuddle

Can be a bit of a perv, especially when sneaking through your window or being alone in a car, but it’s all funny. He’ll never force you to do anything, but he’ll make a lot of dirty jokes and innuendos

Sharing his Walkman with you is his ultimate act of love. Don’t take it lightly

IMPROMPTU KARAOKE SESSIONS

SO protective of you, it’s insane. He’s gotten into verbal and physical fights with anyone disrespects you, and detentions won’t stop him

Patching up his wounds, either from the fights he’s gotten into or just general reckless shit. He pretends that he’s a tough guy but he really isn’t

He lets you experiment with his hair - just as long as you don’t shave it all off. He may never forgive you....

Exploiting the pizzeria’s benefits, whenever and wherever he can. He’ll spend hours trying to impress you in the arcade (free tokens), and gives you unlimited pizza as long as his dad doesn’t clock on

Feeling like a tiny family if and when he decides to introduce you to Elizabeth and Evan. Whether you last as a couple or not, you make them all happy and he doesn’t want to lose that

[dib-thing-wannabe]

I WATCHED THE PILOT FOR THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS AND OH MY GOD I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT-

(No spoilers under cut, just me going insane)

THE IMMEDIATE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS FROM POMNI WHEN SHE ARRIVED?? THE ALREADY DEEP SEATED LORE ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO ESCAPE?! ALL THE POSSIBLIES ABOUT WHAT COULD, CAN, AND SOMETIMES EVEN W I L L HAPPEN!!

If you have been a follower or a mutual of mine for some time now, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that Jax is what got me into it originally, nor be surprised that I am thinking about him the most out of the cast. What probably will surprise you is what I'm thinking about exactly.

What I'm thinking about is what will be done with him in the story. Will he be considered a villain? Will he be considered a good guy, despite him being a bully to the other casts? Does he know more than the others at the circus does? Who knows!! He has the potential for everything!

Something that I am struggling though is what headcannons I should have for him though-

He definitely is one of us fruits, but my question is which one?? He definitely seems like he could be mlm, especially with the energy he gives off. But I cannot stop thinking of transfem Jax no matter how hard I try not to- Because, like, I can totally see it being 100% canon!!

Just imagine the angst potential involving it, because he probably wouldn't know what he's experiencing and he might think that he's starting to extract! But yet the gender disphoria (idk if that's how it's spelled, but you'll get what I mean if it's spelled wrong) was always there for him, even before he joined the circus! And some of you probably know that Goose themselves have started to think about having Jax wear a dress in future episodes, and hooo boy, am I having thoughts about that!!

Imagine this: For the latest adventure, Jax is made to wear a dress, as a disguise. He is just complaining about it the entire time, not even going to look at himself as he's wearing it as he "probably looks silly and stupid in it". Once the adventure is over, he stomps away from everyone to go and take it off, feeling as if he was being made a fool of by them, even though they had been complimenting the way he looked the entire time (even if some of the compliments had laughter in them). In a similar fashion to the scene where Pomni stopped in front of the mirror when she saw herself in the digital circus for the first time, Jax walked passed a mirror and decided to take a look to "see what they were making fun of". When he looked at himself while he was still wearing the dress, he couldn't help but stare at himself. He thought, for the first time in forever, that he didn't just look good, that he looked right. There's wasn't any other way to explain it. He just looked right. He looked and felt like he was what he ever wanted to since he was a little kid. He twirled a little in the dress, making sure to get a good look at himself as he's wearing it, not being able to help but just softly smile at himself as his eyes were majorly dilated. This goes on for a few minutes before his first moment of gender efforia (again, don't know how to spell it-) is interrupted by Pomni and Cain, who were going to see if he was done with getting dressed. Cain just simply says something along the lines of "Wow, you finally decided to take a look at yourself, Jax? My, I thought we would never see the day!" Which results in an embarrassed scoff from Jax as he rolled his eyes at him. But Pomni saw that he was actually happy with the way he looked like never before, and tells him that he could wear dresses more often if it made him happy. He acts like he was deeply insulted by it and said that he wouldn't ever even think of doing this again, but later on he starts wearing dresses in his free time (where no one could see him, of course) (Except for Pomni, she'd probably help him pick out the dresses tbh).

If anyone wants to draw the little imaginary scene I made up, do it!! Draw it! Just tag me in it so I can see it!

[pastelroyce]

I've been tagged ages ago by @dandenbo @mtreebeardiles and @sh00kspeared on different ask memes of the sort (thank you all for tagging me) and I'm in a sharing mood so I thought it'd be fun to just...compile them together because i'm insane

3 fave ships:

Johnny/m!V, Vik/m!V, mShenko; these three are always on rotation in my head amongst all my other ships atm.

First ship:

...it...um...uh.

Sonic/Shadow. Sigh.

Favorite childhood book:

I had a very, very brief phase of being into Eragon when I was in 7th grade or something (I'm talking very brief as in I never finished the first book)

Currently reading:

Not really anything currently, but the last fanfic I read was the spoils, the spoils by kindly on ao3 (E rated Vik/m!V fair warning). As far as physical reading material the last thing I read was 100 Ways to Improve Your Writing by Gary Provost.

Currently watching:

I don't actively watch shows/movies on my own time. I get too antsy at the idea of watching one continuous thing if I'm not like...purposefully determined to watch something (even then I need a break). The last time we used our streaming account was to watch Adventure Time, bf wanted to rewatch the show.

Fave color:

Basically everything in the circle, on the brighter/pastel side. Primarily pink tho.

Song stuck in head:

Right now it's Desperado by the Eagles

Last song listened to:

Chinatown by Jets to Brazil. Whenever i get around to making a playlist for my corpo V it's going on there.

Fave food:

Oh my god, there's so many. Tacos, good marbled brisket, hamburger.......

Spicy/sweet/savory:

Gimme it alllllllllllllllllllll

Currently craving:

Something fried and greasy and yucky because I've been stressed af all day

Last googled:

German Spitz for werewolf au purposes

Are you named after anyone?:

Yes! As a matter of fact! A book character with a name I vibed with immediately.

When was the last time you cried?:

A few weeks ago, can't even remember what it was tbh.

Do you have kids?:

I get bad baby fever from time to time, but something I came to terms with a while ago is that I'm too selfish to want children in my life. I value my privacy and alone time too much to disrupt that.

What sports do you play/have you played?:

I did karate and soccer when I was a wee lad. Neither interested me after a certain point.

Do you use sarcasm?:

Mostly when I know it'll be telegraphed as Being Funny, but I tend to do so unintentionally otherwise.

What is the first thing you notice about people?:

Hair usually, or whatever they're wearing

What's your eye color?:

Brown

Scary movies or happy endings?:

Happy endings I guess? It's been a while since I've seen a movie...

Any talents?:

I have a knack for drawing silly cartoon faces if that counts...

Where were you born?:

Island in the PNW

What are your hobbies?:

Drawing, writing and playing video games mostly. I like to daydream about having new hobbies too, if that counts.

Do you have any pets?:

BABY BOY 🫵 BABY

How tall are you?:

Like 5ft4in or something, very middle of the road.

Favorite subject in school?:

Art and history were my fave in school

Dream job?:

At this point I've given up on the idea of a specific dream job and now just want something that'll keep a roof over my head and let me get take out guilt free lol

[tecchous-thicc-buttocks]

what do you like doing in your free time?

why is your name clenched buttocks (I wanna know the reason, pls its so funny lol)

what are things you're good at? (own it babe) (and i don't mean 'babe' in a weird way - just gotta clear that lol)

do you have a best friend?

do you write OG stories and/or fanfics?

one thing you hate about yourself

one thing you love about yourself

do you want a pet? if so, what pet and why

(pls at this rate, its sounding like an interview, so sorry 😂 i'm just...i have a lot of time in my hands and i decided to do this for no particular reason)

fave type of music?

what made you like bsd? and did you always like it? (cause for me, i didnt like it too much at first but it grew on me the second time around)

have you read the bsd light novels and what's your fave light novel if yes?

any pet peeves?

what's your 'ideal' partner (do you have a type like Kunikida or are you fine with anything as long as you're having fun)

Would you rather be single and rich or taken and with a normal salary?

are you happy with where you work/study?

what's your dream career?

what's the app you use the most?

would you rather draw or write?

*** (P.S just pick the ones you want to answer) **

i think im going to look like a weirdo asking so much questions but whatever. at least we dont know each other HAHA i hope you have a good day. <3 and also i love your analyses. just keep posting what you like. i find some of your posts funny lol

good day.

(# you asked and i delivered) (# just me looking for an excuse to use this line) (# cause you said you wanted more questions in your other post TT) (# also ik this isn't a real tag but i wanna be ✨creative) (# fan behavior? idk anymore lmao) okay bye mwa <3

KHJDKJKSAJDGKJSFKG I LOVE THIS I LOVE YOU I WILL BEGIN ANSWERING NOW

i have no free time. I either overwork myself or sleep. however, assuming that i've got a sliver of time to do something, I swap from one obsession to the next <3 rn it's going for insanely long bike rides and turn down every road I feel like until I'm lost,, and going to the gym like an absolute maniac bc i want my arms to be the size of a regular adult's legs

my username is what i desire in life. it is was I strive to be worthy of. it is beauty and life itself, it is the culmination of the universe's most wonderous accomplishments all squished into two raging enormous, gargantuan muscular earth shattering sea trembling ass cheeks 😩😩 (BUT in all seriousness I chose this bc I felt like having tecchousthiccthighs wasn't quite as pleasant??? eheheh buttocks is a funny word)

MY TALENT IS SAYING ANYTHING THAT CROSSES MY MIND TO STRANGERS i've been on this spree lately where I just straight up call anyone pretty when I run into them and HOLY MOLY PPL ARE SO CUTE ABT IT this is your sign to compliment someone today ✨✨ but nah baby i'm good at everything it's a curse ngl (U CAN CALL ME WTV HUN IT'S OK KJKDJFKJS UR SO ADORABLE WHAT)

no best friend bc i can't do commitment and bully friends that get too close to me 😍😍 BUT i'm gonna tag @bellyjellyfish for being my one and only and somehow not hating me thru my unironic "uwu" phase <33

I wrote a 700 page story when I was 12 and it remains unfinished bc I kept rambling and there was no plot 🕴️I love writing but abandon a whole lot of works bc I dream up the rest of the plot and go "oh well why write it now i've been there done that" I DO WRITE FANFICS 👁️👁️ I have a wp account where i wrote a bunch of awful stories and it still stands to this day! (no i will not disclose it don't even try me grr)

I hate how sexy I am 😭😭😭😩😩😩🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

I love how sexy I am 😳😳😳😳🥶🥶🥶🥶😜😜😜😜

I WANT A TARANTULA I WANT A TARANTULA I WAS A CHILEAN RED KNEE TARANTULA AND I WANT ONE SO BADLY OMFG I've always liked spiders but the ppl I live with would absolutely kick me out if I got one??? once i live on my own i'm def buying two cages so that whenever I have guests, I just put out the empty cage, hide the real one, and be like "oh no what happened to billy my tarantula, he escaped again :(" just to wreak havoc

(HAHA NO IT'S OK I USUALLY DO THIS TO OTHER PPL SO I APPRECIATE U SM LOL SLIDE INTO MY DMS BBG)

fav type of music is classical bc i'm edgy and not like other girls 🤩🤩🤩 something about la campanella just hit so hard when I was like 10 that I have taken it and ran, but I do listen to rnb a lot, never in just one language tho bc sometimes english sucks my d

I liked bsd as soon as I saw ranpo's silhouette in the first episode, I was like "him. I want him 🏃‍♀️" but it was solidified in my head as soon as I saw natsume bc 1) he's hot AF IT'S NOT FAIR I WANT HIM 2) I had been reading his irl works and fell in love, so I started exploring other bsd authors and it introduced me to gogol (i'm so in love with his writing style it's not ok) soooo yeah :)) I started reading bc someone (you know who you are) liked chuuya and I haven't looked back since, tbh it's one of my favs just bc of the characters and their depth

I've read all the light novels I could get my hands on, and I have to say stormbringer FOR THE ONLY, SOLE REASON THAT I AM IN ABSOLUTE LOVE WITH ADAM

pet peeve hmmmm idk??? i'm chill with everything except pickles I hate those mfs, but if I had to chose smth it would be when someone shoves a ship down my throat (it's me i'm bitches go stan satosugu rn)

no ideal partner! I'm aro fyi, but also I feel like I'd be chill with just abt anything?? if u match my energy, we can be partners in chaos and i'll feel understood, and if you don't, I get to learn abt a different kind of lifestyle and get to have someone sane to hold me down (or to corrupt), so either way it's a win. I find culture to be incredibly attractive, speak a language I don't or tell me about a tradition of yours with a wholesome smile and I'd move mountains for you 💖💖 teach me abt something that you're emotionally invested in and an expert, and I'm literally yours <3

haha i don't ever wanna be in a relationship so i'll take being rich,, but honestly it ain't about the money, i'd want to have a normal salary and be taken, but it just ain't my vibe ?? dunno how to explain erm-

dream career is racecar driver YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE WORLD TO ICONIC DESTINATIONS YOU GET PAID INSANE MONEY AND YOU GO VROOM VROOM VERY FAST WHILE CONSTANTLY ALMOST DYING WHAT ELSE DO I NEED IN LIFE????

app i use most is my local library app bc i'm constantly trying to renew my books that are incredibly close to being overdue 🫡 but nahh i don't use my phone that often it still irks me i'm actually a 60 year old gilf who hates technology and complains abt kids these days

I CAN'T DRAW BUT I ALSO CAN'T WRITE YOU'VE GOT ME AT A DEADLOCK BRO??? if it's which I would rather be GOOD at, i'd say drawing bc imagine thinking abt something and just printing it out on paper??? yall fr got some magical talent omg

WHAT IF WE DO KNOW EACH OTHER THO??? WHAT IF WE'RE ACTUALLY NEIGHBORS??? CHILDHOOD FRIENDS??? YOU NEVER KNOW AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER WILL MUAHAHAHAHA i'm gonna stop now but ty for all your questions and have a wonderful day, darling <33

[youkah]

heyo names cal or dorian, this is my blog where I put things on a queue and go

about me can be found on my carrd

warnings before following: I am pro recovery and may talk down anti recovery rhetoric, I draw a lot and may talk about it, I am very autistic over certain things that merge and create insanity (i.e. I have psychology autism and Seinfeld autism and buddy they're planning a coup together), I don't care for the anti/proship argument but I don't want proshippers following me

more below

I am currently in the recovery process with mental health and may talk about it sometimes. I'm not gonna be open about everything but feel free to chat me up on advice if you need any :) I never thought I'd make it to 18 and I'm 22 and loving being alive and I would like to help others get to that place as well :3 I am also disabled and in my diagnosis journey, I may talk about that as well. Currently I use a walker, and if anyone wants advice on if they need one I am happy to help!

Art blog @psychedex

Reference blog @pegasa

Music blog @callieloid

Oc blogs @gayboy-convention @laineverse

Interests include Project Sekai, Vocaloid, Seinfeld, Miitopia, art, music, Persona 4, weather/natural disasters, psychology/therapy, math, random trivia, and other various things I may talk about. I'm critical of all of my interests and am not afraid to talk about flaws, and in regards to my disaster and psychology interests, I try to tread carefully and speak respectfully about them and the people affected. If I ever say something insensitive please let me know.

As mentioned I'm mentally ill, I won't talk much about what I'm diagnosed with but I am open about my bipolar and OCD, as well as my possible autism. I try my best to not use them as an excuse and I'm actively working to cope with them. If I ever talk about it, it most likely will be in a positive light.

Other blog info:

The Rowan I tag is my beloved; my fave tag is full of sillies if you ever want to brighten up your day; I may tag some of my posts with my ocs; feel free to reblog/like spam; I'm always open to asks; if you send anon hate make it unique so I can grade it

Most of my blorbos are my ocs but my notable fandom blorbos are the following

George Costanza (Seinfeld)- I'm not attracted to him, he just makes me feel better about myself and I am rooting for his downfall

Tsukasa Tenma (PRJSK)- he is my idiot son who thinks he's normal

Yosuke Hanamura (P4)- the original Cal kinbait

Michael (The Good Place)- he's like a puppy. I'm not attracted to him I just want to show him the human world

Anyway that's all. Thanks

[energyanon]

*hugs* I'm glad you are sticking around. (Both here and everywhere.) Great to hear you have deep diving into astrology!! It's such a great tool :) What draw you deeper into it?

Me too, that damn brain of mine likes to be a vengeful bitch sometimes but I have given her the happy chemical, so she may rest now.

It’s actually a long story;

TLDR; basically I had a dream that set me off all things spiritual and finding a purpose in life

But the story is; while I was still in the deep deep stages of depression where nothing was worth it and I had 0 connection or belief in the universe, I had a dream. And this dream was that I was 50/60 frolicking about with a bunch of other older women in the country side and we were just a little community. We did all the things we wanted to do, we played, we nurtured the child parts of ourselves, we made dinners for each other. And the thing was there wasn’t a man involved in this, I wasn’t married or anything I was just enjoying sisterhood with a bunch of other women. And it was fucking freeing. Because we were only with each other there was no need to uphold beauty standards or be anything more than what we were or to act in certain ways we just enjoyed life and let the sun age us etc. and I woke up and I was like

Holy fuck. My whole life I’ve been feeling desperately unloved because I had that stupid little voice in my head that told me if I don’t have a relationship then I’m less than. And broken family etc didn’t help that feeling. So I’ve always searched for being “loved” elsewhere and in order to do that I’m a people pleaser and I have to live life in a certain way. But this dream was like.. actually no you don’t.. you can literally just BE there’s actually 0 rules in this world and if you aren’t harming anyone or harming yourself then nothing is that serious.

So then through that came this like.. intense spiritual freedom I guess where nothing was that bad, like all cares about what other people thought aswell just 🤷‍♀️ none of it matters. And I realised that I don’t want a life that needs to be successful what I actually want is simple, it’s just community.

And so I would say it was one hell of a spiritual awakening. And then I was watching a tiktok and it just so happened to be about Ariana grandes new BF and how his something or other is in her 5th house and I was like holy fuck is that how you read astrology, so I started to research it knowing now where to start, and like beyond personal planets and houses are the ASPECTS, and my god do the aspects make all the difference and then how the whole birth chart and those aspects play out with one another and then singleton planets and then asteroids which can show you your greatest trauma and it was all like holy shit tits we’re all connected.

And so that’s how it happened. And now it’s wild j went from 0 faith in the universe all together to seriously feeling like I’ve been placed on such a specific path and I can see how everything up until now has been apart of that path and I’ve always been protected and guided no matter how shit it was at the time

I’m currently desperately trying to find anything I can about Yods and it’s driving me insane I can’t find anything on how to properly read it in relation to all the planets aspecting each other.

anyway if anyone knows anything about Yods let me know cause I have two of those fuckers in my charts and I’m not sure how to read them

[p4rasite]

Albert Wesker for the acrostic

A - Art - do they draw or paint? what about any other kind of art? what’s their favorite style/subject/another artist who inspires them?

i can definitely see wesker as someone who paints. i think he’d go for an extremely realistic style, and he’s very much a perfectionist about it. (it’s not his primary focus, though, and considering how little free time he has, he doesn’t paint much nowadays.) i’m tacking on a headcanon that i have here, too, but i can definitely see him doing ballet when he was very young. of course, with spencer’s grip on the wesker children, i don’t think that lasted long (god knows he’d probably have a meltdown about any of them being A Bit Fruity, which like. lol. look at wesker), but it was something wesker enjoyed as a child and didn’t speak much about as an adult. looking @ the insane high kicks he can do in re5, tho, i think it tracks LMAO. 

L - Language - what’s their love language?

mmm… i think wesker’s primary love language (in public for sure) is acts of service. he’ll go out of his way to do a lot of small things to make it clear that he’s paying attention and trying to make his partner happy. i think that physical touch is another love language for him, but he’s VERY particular about where and how the two of them show physical affection, including pda. (bratty.) 

B - Before - before you decided to make them your F/O, what did you first think of them/their source? 

ironically i didn’t know anything about wesker until he was being released in dbd, and initially when i read up on his lore i hated him LMFAO. but. i got won over by his silly little finger wag when he pulls someone out of a locker and the way he moves super bouncy when he picks someone up from a slam into an automatic carry and how GOOFY he looks when he runs around in his big stupid coat all hunched over. (i used to run wiretap all the time and i could constantly see him hauling ass across the map and looking so silly LOL.) i also got friendly wesker players who were a lot of fun and i finally just caved and played re1, finished re2r and re3r, and played re4 and re5. 

E - Emotion - is your f/o open with their feelings or do they keep them close to their chest? 

wesker keeps everything very close to the vest, and feelings in particular are kept VERY quiet. he can’t have anyone perceiving any weakness from him, and any display of an attitude that’s anything other than strict and stoic is a detriment to his reputation. as a result it’s very difficult to know when he has feelings for someone or is fond of them— he’s a harsh person by nature, and that immediately chases a lot of people off. it’s little things he does that’ll tip a person off, though. when he’s fond of someone, he’s (generally) softer around the edges with them, and he’ll do little things for them that make it clear that he cares, even if he doesn’t outright say it. he’s also like a cat that wants to be in the same room as their person. even if he doesn’t necessarily want any direct contact or conversation, he generally wants to be near them, even if indirectly. 

R - Rainbow - what colors do you associate with them and why?

black, reddish orange, and a very particular shade of blue! black is bc of his outfit in re5 and ouroboros, reddish orange bc of his eyes after he becomes infected, the particular shade of blue bc of the shirt he wears in re1 

T - Teach - what skills of theirs would they teach you? what would you teach them?

i think that wesker would teach vita more practical skills. resident evil AUs always end up w/ ppl having to shoot zombies so, like, he’s probably the one who teaches them how to shoot a handgun etc etc. (they’d also be interested in learning more about his work in biology/genetic mutation, if they were privy to it.) i think vita’s skill teaching would be more informal and would be more focused on soft skills/conversational knowledge/gauging meaning when people speak. i think wesker is often very literal (which lends to him seeming harsh/cracking down hard on people when they try to joke around), and vita’s not always the best at gauging meaning either, but they’ve figured out things that tip them off as to when someone is trying to joke. 

W - Weakness - what’s theirs? it can be a fun weakness like trashy romance novels or a more serious trait if you want

i have a lot of serious thoughts about his weaknesses/etc but if i’m going for something simple: i think he gets absolutely fucking destroyed if his partner bosses him around LMFAO

E - (above)

S - Story - if you and them were in a fairytale, which story would you be and who would play which character? 

i do not know why this question is so impossible for me but i really can’t think of a fairytale that wesker would fit into LFJAFJ 

K - Kiss - give us any kiss headcanon you want. description, reason, location, who initiates it, etc. 

this one is going under a readmore bc i ended up writing basically a fic for it by accident bc i cannot control myself. also don’t @ me bc you can tell where i got lazy w/ it and and stopped fleshing it out as much lmao

hmmmmm. if we’re going with my main resident evil au (where vita works as an emergency medic w/ S.T.A.R.S., basically an EMT), i’m thinking abt their first kiss bc i think that there’s a LOT of buildup to it / admitting feelings. wesker is such a hardass and it’s hard to believe that he’s being legitimate when he “flirts” (aka dropping comments that are, like, actually positive/affirming and imply that he enjoys their company). i think wesker is also very careful, because he doesn’t want them to feel pressured or think that anything w/ their job could be impacted by whether or not they reciprocate feelings, because he doesn’t want something that feels forced; he only wants this if their feelings are genuine. 

i think that on that particular night, several of the folks from the team go out to a bar a few blocks away from the station after a particularly grueling shift so they can blow off some steam. wesker gets dragged along because chris threatens to pick him up and haul his ass over there himself, and while he’s annoyed, he knows chris isn’t joking, either, and he doesn’t want to deal with the fight if he tries to hang back. (he’ll just dip out early.) vita gets dragged along, too, despite trying to politely decline the offer. they get a strawberry daiquiri with vodka instead of rum. wesker gets a whiskey, neat. he mainly sits back and listens to the conversations between people up at the bar, only really speaking if someone specifically engages him. once he’s on his second drink, though, he moves over to take a seat next to vita, shaking his head at the drink in front of them and talking about how he doesn’t know how they drink that without getting sick. they laugh and say that it’s fruity, just like them. without missing a beat he mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like “sweet, too, i suppose.” and goes for another sip of his drink while vita nearly chokes on theirs. 

eventually vita says something (totally not scripted) about how they forgot their keys at the precinct, and they’ll need to run back to get them, and it’s getting late, anyway, so they should probably head home after they grab them. jill and leon look disappointed that they’re leaving so soon, but they get it, it’s loud and noisy and can be overwhelming after a difficult day. wesker says that he’ll accompany them back. jill shoots a particular look to rebecca over her glass as she takes another drink. chris, meanwhile, is much more brash, taking a pause from throwing darts to tilt his head back, making eye contact with wesker and wolf whistling, a grin wide on his face. wesker replies with a sharp “watch yourself, redfield. i’m just looking after my own.” he pauses. “and don’t overdo it tonight. you’re to be in at 6 sharp tomorrow morning, and i won’t hear any excuses because you drank yourself into a stupor.” chris barks a laugh at the tough act, rolling his eyes and throwing him a “don’t worry, i’ll make sure you get to see me bright and early tomorrow since you insist, captain” and winks before he goes back to throwing darts. wesker looks irritated, but he’s not willing to engage in a petty argument (not right this moment, anyway). he doesn’t dignify chris with a response, instead joining vita at the exit, leaning over them to push the door open as cold air cuts through both of them. 

they’re mostly quiet on the way back. vita thanks him for walking back with them since it’s late, and he gives them a curt response about how it’s not an issue, and they fall into a comfortable silence, the crunch of snow under their boots accompanying the intermittent whistling of the wind around them. wesker eventually pulls a cigarette from his pocket, flicking his lighter as he cups his hand around the flame, protecting it from the wind as he lights the end. his face is cast in a warm light for just a moment before he flicks the lighter’s cap and extinguishes the flame. his eyes remain hidden the entire time. 

vita realizes that they’re watching far too intently, and they avert their eyes, instead focusing on the storefronts they’re walking past and the soft buzzing of the lights illuminating the shop names overhead. 

“terrible habit, i know.“ their eyes cut back to him almost immediately, drawn to the puff of smoke rising from his lips as he exhales. they try not to stare. “well, we all have our vices, don’t we?” they laugh. “i don’t mind.” he looks at them, and they swear they see the ghost of a smirk on his face, though his mouth is quickly obscured again as he takes another drag.

*****

“you didn’t leave your keys here.” it’s a statement, not a question, and as they stand at the gates in front of the station, vita looks to wesker inquisitively. “…your lanyard is in your pocket. you don’t ever take your keys off of it.” ah. they had forgotten to tuck the lanyard ribbon into their pocket completely, hadn’t they? a small loop of it was visible from their front pocket, though it was impossible to see unless you knew where to look. they shrug. “well, i gave you an excuse to dip out early, didn’t i?” 

he snorts. “oh, i’m not complaining. i’m saying we don’t have to go inside, unless you’d like to get pulled aside for a side conversation by whoever’s at the desk the second you walk in the doors.” they wrinkle their nose at the thought. “yeah, no thanks.” 

wesker shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “are you very far from here?” vita shakes their head. “no, not at all. i’m actually over on west flower street.” wesker nods. “right. let’s go, then.” he starts taking strides in that direction, though his steps halt when he sees vita hesitate for a moment. “…if you’d prefer that i don’t walk you back, i’ll call a cab for you instead. it’s too late for the buses to be running. i don’t want you walking back alone— it’s not safe.” his tone is firm, a clear indication that they were going to choose one of the options he’d set out before them and that weaselling out of this was not an option. they sigh internally. lord, for all of his bravado and the tough, unapproachable, cold act he put on, he was a mother hen through and through. 

“it’s not about you walking me back. that’s not what i’m worried about. i just… don’t want to inconvenience you. i’m sure you were trying to sneak back here to finish some work. i don’t want to take away from time you could be spending on more important things.” 

he scoffs at that. “i’ll decide what is and isn’t important to me, lovett.” his voice is unintentionally sharp, and vita flinches slightly when he pulls the last name, usually a sure sign that he’s growing irritated. their mouth presses into a hard line, angry that they’re being snapped at over because— god forbid— they don’t want to waste his time. he seems to catch himself, though, and he sighs, his hardened expression softening around the edges. to their surprise he takes off the glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. dark circles shadow the hard lines that cut deep under his eyes, as if he hasn’t slept properly in a long time. his gaze meets theirs. 

“vita. your safety is important to me.” his voice is much lower and much less harsh this time, as close to apologetic as they’ve ever heard him. “i don’t want anything happening to you. my work can wait.” 

their anger fizzles out when they see the concern in his expression, and their tensed shoulders drop. fine. “…well, come on, then.” they began walking in the direction of their apartment complex. “try to keep up, old man.” he looks amused as he falls into step with them. if anyone else tried that, he’d be livid, but there’s something about the way they look him dead in the eye and bite right back at him that’s entertaining, like a rabbit spitting in the face of a fox. it reminds him of the way he and chris banter, though sometimes chris pushes his luck a bit too far. 

“you know, for someone who acts like such a hardass, you soften up pretty well.” they give him a wry smile, and the smirk returns as he chuckles. “well. it’s not an act, but if that was a backhanded attempt at a compliment, thank you.” vita scoffs indignantly, feigning excessive offense, as if he’d just spit on a beloved family member’s grave. “backhanded? what do you mean? that was genuine.” 

“well, don’t get too used to seeing it. i don’t soften up for just anyone, you know.” vita laughs. “oh, am i special, then?” they say it in a joking tone, but there’s no hint of laughter in his voice when he replies. “…very.” 

*****

“this is mine.” vita pauses in front of a small stairway, only about five steps tall, leading into the landing area of their building. wesker stops, too, close enough to brush their shoulder with his own as he nods. 

he seems like he has something he’d like to say, but he’s quiet for a long time, as if he can’t get the words to form in a way he’d like. eventually he settles on resting his hand on their upper arm in a gesture that’s surprisingly soft, coming from him. “have a good night, vita. get some rest.” 

they nod in response, and his hand drops back to his side as he begins to step back. before he moves away completely, vita cuts in. “hey— wesker.” he pauses, and they take the opportunity to step closer. maybe it’s the booze, maybe it’s a sudden strike of boldness, but they stand up on the tips of their toes, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. “thank you.” 

he’s completely still, and for a terrifying moment vita thinks they may have misunderstood his intentions. they step back, catching how red his face is under the dim streetlights, and they start apologizing, rambling about how they must have gotten the wrong idea, they’re sorry, they didn’t mean to act inappropriately, they-

they’re interrupted when he presses his palm to the side of their face, cupping their jaw as he presses his lips to theirs in a careful, gentle kiss. they can taste the slightest hint of whiskey on his lips, masked overwhelmingly by smoke and nicotine. it’s sudden, and brief, but that doesn’t stop the way their head spins, their legs suddenly weak. 

wesker pulls away, though he stays close. he strokes vita’s cheek with his thumb, watching them fondly in a rare moment of intimacy while their mouth wobbles into a tentatively excited smile, eyes shining. their hand moves to cover his, and they press their cheek more firmly into his palm, enjoying the touch. 

they stand there for some time, enjoying each others’ company, though eventually wesker breaks the silence. “i should let you go up, get some sleep. today was difficult.” their shift earlier seems so far away, like it happened a century ago. they nod, though, turning their head to press a kiss to his palm. he responds by pressing a kiss to their forehead, stroking their hair with his other hand. he looks… happy. his expression isn’t flat, or tired, or irritated or annoyed or stressed. he seems content. 

“good night, vita.” 

E - (above)

R - (above)

[oncetherenowhere]

This week's been another shit show. Every week has been a shit show. I woke up at 3am, couldn't sleep, and had the realization that, for the past four months, every single week has brought me a new scrap of bad news. People dying. People getting sick. Friends leaving. Family drama, revelations. Crisis, crisis, crisis! And...really none of it has been my fault. It's just life. Bad luck of the draw.

Still. No wonder I've been having the worst few months of my life. Every single week has been a jack-in-the-box of bullshit. This week's bullshit? Revelations about my job that have tarnished it for me. I'm looking for new work. Not quitting until I get a new job...I need money. All the fulfillment and satisfaction I felt in my position has left.

I feel completely trapped in my everyday life. H thinks I should consider starting a new career, but how? Baking is the only thing I'm good at. I'm a damn good baker. My job was, like...the thing I clung to. I don't even want to say what happened, because it's complicated, but I just don't think I can do it again.

I love baking, but the environment of professional kitchens...I can't handle them anymore. I used to be able to. People say you get used to things as you get older, but the opposite seems to be true for me. I feel more sensitive than ever. I feel raw, like anything that even slightly touches me will sting. I can't put up with raised voices anymore.

H tells me to show myself kindness. I was in a heap yesterday, and he was so sweet to me. I think he's right, about the career thing. Baking feels like the only thing I'm good at, but once upon a time, I wanted to do so much...I had such big dreams. I settled into baking because I'm good at it, and I like making people happy. When I bake for people and see their reactions, it fills my heart with joy. So, I thought, hey, why not make this my career? Nothing else has panned out for me, and I seem to work best in the service of others.

H went to school for computer science. He landed a great job that he feels fine about. It isn't his passion, but he likes what he does, and it gives him enough space to work on his actual passion projects in the meantime. You should see the things this man makes...his MIND, I swear to you, it's AMAZING. He's got this amazing mixture of creativity and practicality...he breathes life into the worlds he creates. It's one of the things I first loved about him, back when we were both eighteen. He told me stories that I thought were already published, they were so good and well-rounded.

I used to be a writer. It used to be my dream. When I was a kid, I wrote every single day. I filled notebooks with stories, world building, characters...my dream was to draw comics. Remember how I wrote about how I was being bullied? I left a notebook on my desk one day by accident. My bullies read it, and humiliated me. Even the teachers made fun of me. They tore out pages from it, and the teacher there at the time threw the rest out in the trash.

I still wrote, but only in secret. Only at home, and even then, I was careful, because my parents went through my things. I went through insane measures to hide everything. At some point, it became exhausting.

A few years ago, I started writing again...but I never show anything to anyone. Except H. Sometimes.

I still have this stupid dream of making comics. I've written out scripts, ideas, plots...my art skills aren't great. I used to practice.

I've thought about getting back into it. For real. Drawing every day. Practicing anatomy, perspective, shading. I just get so sad. I imagine hoards of people tearing my work to shreds.

I know, I know. I know how this sounds. Trust me, I've viewed these feelings from more angles than I'm writing down.

I just...need something.

I might do what H did. Get my certificate in something that lets me work remote...dedicate myself to my hobbies in my free time. It would take a while to accomplish, but the time will pass anyways, right? I just don't think what I'm doing is sustainable. I keep being scared I'm too old, but I'm only 27. That's so young, in the grand scheme of things. That's what my step-dad told me a while back.

"You feel like you're spinning your wheels in the mud, don't you?" He said to me. "I felt the same way at your age. Hell, I felt the same way in my 30s. You just gotta keep at it."

It's pretty encouraging. Comforting, I guess.

Fuck. It feels so good to write here. I have nobody else to talk to. I've got H, obviously, but it isn't healthy to dump everything on your spouse constantly. I've got a therapist, who...I'm still getting comfortable with. I've got my mom, now, too...she figured out something was wrong when I went silent again. I'm glad she reached out. The two of us used to have a pretty bad relationship, but she came a long way in my 20s, and put in a lot of work to repair things. I respect that. I appreciate it. There were so many times in my teen years and early 20s when I needed her...it's nice to have her now.

Hey, that's three people! Three people, and this blog. Maybe it isn't so bad. Ugh. I think it'll all be okay. I've just got a lot of big feelings.

[lumosinlove]

Vaincre

part v

~

cw: homophobic encounter.

~

November

November shadows, 

shade November change

November spells sweet memory, 

the season blue remains

~

“Lo!” Finn called. “Guess who just got traded to the Rags.”

Cool dread spun its way into Logan’s chest at full force. He felt the point of one of his hips knock against the counter. “Quoi?”

“Marshy and Morgs!” Finn said, and the appeared around the corner into the kitchen, red hair a mess. “Like, together. Like us.”

“These were Harvard teammates, yeah?” Leo asked, spooning sugar into Logan’s coffee.

“Like us?” Logan said. “They’re dating?”

“Oh, no,” Finn laughed. “I just meant together, like, at the same time. Around the same time, I guess I should say.”

“Wow,” Logan nodded, which prompted Finn to imitate the way he said wow, drawing out the W’s. Logan smiled, lifting his cup to his mouth. “We could visit them over the next free weekend maybe.”

“Damn, that’d be a blast to the past.”

“What are they like?” Leo asked, leaning into Logan’s side.

“You’d love Will. Will Morgan, Morgs,” Logan said. “Really level-headed, probably the nicest person I know. Marshy…”

“Percy Marshall is one crazy motherfucker,” Finn said, and poured his own cup of coffee, black.

Logan leaned into mock-whisper to Leo. “And Finn gets insane when they’re together.”

Finn shot him a look, but continued. “Best way to say it. He’ll party until the sun, he’s crazy superstitious—worse than Cap and Loops combined—and he’s also,” Finn slid onto a stool. “One of the hardest working guys you’ll ever met. Probably the hardest working.” Finn’s smile was one Logan’s favorite one, made even more so by the fact that he got to see it directed at Leo. “Until I met you, that is, Nut.”

Leo let out a pleased laugh and let Logan brush a hand through his hair. “Well, they’re in our division now. I’ll get to meet them.”

“Oh, man, we’re in for a fucking treat when we play New York next,” Finn grinned. “Gonna hit the town hard.”

Leo snorted. “You guys might.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Finn pressed a kiss to Leo’s cheek. “I know everyone we need to know.”

“And I can finally tell you,” Logan began. “That the first time you dragged me around New York knowing ever person you saw, I loved you.”

Finn blushed a little and let Leo pull him to settle in the V of his legs from where he was leaning back against the counter. “Well, it’ll be nice to see them.”

Logan nodded, but part of his chest pulled. He cleared his throat. “Ouais. Also…”

When he paused, Leo tapped their socked toes together encouragingly.

Logan shrugged and looked down into his coffee. He thought of Finn’s quick breaths when they took the Cup back to Harvard. He thought of kissing him in their old room. He thought of everything before. Percy and Will were a part of all of that. Not directly, maybe, but Logan knew what seeing them again would do.

“Memories,” Finn said, and Leo nudged him.

“Don’t say it for him.”

“Oh, right, sorry.”

“Memories,” Logan agreed. “Good and bad.”

~

Remus missed the net three times in fifteen minutes, and only barely managed to keep himself from breaking his stick against the boards. He would be embarrassed afterwards if he had, but could it really be so much worse than the way that he felt now?

He accepted Thomas’ fist bump as he passed him going into the locker room and sat down heavily in his stall. The game had been close, but the Devils had won out in the end. He glanced at some of the assistant coaches, who were murmuring together. There was no guarantee it was about him, but it still felt as thought it was. Sirius was talking with Evgeni, Evgeni’s loud laugh warming up the room. Remus stripped out of his sweaty uniform quickly and was headed for the showers with a towel around his waist when someone slapped him on the back.

“It’s decided,” Logan’s accent came from beside him. He wasn’t bothering with his towel, which was slung over his bare shoulder. The fleur-de-lis tattoo on his hip—and everything else—was on full display. “Me and Talker are taking you out tonight.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean exactly?”

Logan just smiled. “No boyfriends. No hockey. We have a day off tomorrow, so no pressure. Just some drinks.”

“And some pool, maybe,” Thomas said, coming up to Remus’ other side. “What do you say, Loops? Fun, eh?”

“Okay, one of you is butt-naked right now and the other is in a three-piece suit. I’m going to say yes and shower, all right?”

Thomas gave a whoop, and Remus couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face as he dropped his towel in the change room and turned on the hot water. He felt like a sling-shot lately, being catapulted one way, and then in the opposite direction. He guessed he should feel thankful that his friends could pick him up like that, and he did, but another part of him caved in beneath the sheer affection.

I’m letting you down.

He scrubbed his hands through his hair, and looked over his shoulder when he felt a gentle, quick kiss against the back of his neck.

“Bonsoir,” Sirius said with a soft smile, and went to the shower head beside him.

“Hi,” Remus smiled back. “Beautiful goal tonight.”

He watched the water lace over Sirius’ tan skin, darkening his hair further as he pushed it back, away from his face. “You’re beautiful.”

“Hey, Olli,” Finn called across the showers, making Olli look over at him. “You’re fucking beautiful, man.”

Olli just squeezed shampoo into his palm. “I know that, Harzy.”

Sirius’ laugh echoed through the showers, joined by others, and Remus let it warm around him like the steam.

“Apparently Tremz and Talkie are taking me out tonight,” he said to Sirius as they walked back into the locker room.

“Tremz,” Sirius called over to him. “Ouch.”

“Pas de capitaines,” Logan waved him off and went back to looking at whatever Leo was showing him on his phone. Sirius laughed and looked back to Remus.

“Sounds perfect,” he said. “Wake me up when you come in if I’m asleep.”

“And go to bed without a kiss?” Remus glanced down at the towel slung low across Sirius’ hips, then back up to his bright silver eyes. “I’d never.”

Sirius smiled and kissed him, but Remus felt the unspoken settling between them. Sirius had stopped bringing up wanting to help with Remus’ shortcomings on the ice. Remus knew he had brought that upon himself with refusals after refusals to talk about it, but now it felt more like a thing. An object. An ugly vase in the corner of the room.

Maybe he really did need to go out tonight.

Thomas settled in his stall beside Remus. “We’re gonna go to Red’s, yeah?”

Remus nodded as he pulled his gray t-shirt over his head. He held up his dark jeans. “I can wear this, right?”

“Fuck yeah, I’m not wearing this thing,” Thomas picked at the lapel of his suit. “Noelle already screen shotted the snapchat I sent her. Why keep it on now?”

Remus just laughed. “All right, Talkie. Lead the way.”

Red’s bar was shoved up against the side of a larger block of buildings in Gryffindor. Remus glanced up, one or two stars were poking through the increasingly cooling loud cover. Inside it was warm, though. Foggy in the way some rooms get when there are lots of happy people in them. Logan had chosen a long-sleeved, dark gray cotton shirt, so thin that Remus could see each ridge of his defined muscles and his necklace, too.

“What the fuck happens when that thing gets wet?” Remus snorted, plucking at it as they waited for their drinks at the bar.

“I’ll pretend we had a fight,” Thomas said. “Throw a drink on you, find out.”

Logan just eyed them suspiciously as they leaned against the bar. “You guys are strange.”

Thomas just flagged the bartender, stretching the white material of his thin knit sweater. He ordered a whiskey, Logan a rum and coke, and Remus opted for a lighter gin and tonic. They still had a game on barely 72 hours. Not that anyone was that much of a light weight, but he didn’t want any assumptions being made, any photographs taken that could put him in a worse light than he already was.

“I know what this is, you know,” he said after Logan and Thomas’ intense COD debate had gone on too long. They both looked over at him, the picture of innocence. Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Media’s a bitch,” Thomas said. “That’s all this is. Hockey’s hard. You can’t help that you live with Cap, who makes it all look like a piece of cake.”

Logan laughed. “I think Cap would disagree. He stinks after games, mon dieu.”

Remus and Thomas shared a look. “And you don’t?”

“Finn likes it,” Logan smirked. “Gets him going.”

“Are you sure its the stench and not the muscles?” Thomas raised an eyebrow.

Logan waved him off. “I’m not talking about this with you two. We’re here for Loops.”

Remus groaned. “Guys…it’s not…I mean every player goes through this, right?”

They both nodded.

“Sure,” Thomas said. “But it doesn’t help that some people—“

“Assholes,” Logan amended.

“Right. It doesn’t help that some assholes don’t think you deserve to be here.”

Remus tilted his glass towards him. “Yeah.”

“We just think…” Logan began uncertainly, tongue poking out to wet his full bottom lip. “Look, I love Cap. He’s like a brother. But he’s intense. For him…sometimes hockey solves hockey.”

Remus wavered. “Yes and no.”

“We just thought you might want some other ears,” Thomas offered a smile. “I mean we can’t offer a feel good night of lovin’ to make you feel better…”

Remus snorted. “Right. You know, Talkie, that’s exactly what Sirius calls it.”

Thomas cracked up, too. “But we can offer drinks. And, you know…”

Logan raised an eyebrow at him, amused. “Ears?”

“Right,” Thomas nodded. “Look at Tremzy over here, finishing my sentences.”

Remus let his smile die down a little. “I…thanks, guys. I mean, I love talking to Sirius, but I also…he is the Captain. He’s a representation of all of us. I feel a little…” Remus took a slow breath, not sure if he was even ready for the words to come out of his mouth. “I feel a little like I’m letting him, and you all, down sometimes.”

“Aw, Loops,” Thomas said, voice softened.

“I know,” Remus sighed. “It’s just…it creeps in sometimes.”

Remus watched Logan swallow. “I get it. If there’s anything I can understand it’s guilt.”

“Tremz,” Remus said comfortingly. “I guess I should listen to my own advice here, but it’s not your fault. I can be ears, too, you know.”

“Is this…” Thomas said quietly. “Carrot?”

They both stared at him. “Carrot?”

“Code names,” Thomas whispered, even though the tables were noisy and the bar was somewhat empty.

Logan laughed a little, and nodded.

Remus waited. Logan gathered thoughts slowly, carefully. Interrupting, he’d learned while talking with Leo, tended to scatter them. He was also happy that the spotlight wasn’t entirely on him anymore.

“I found him at Harvard,” Logan began, swallowing dryly despite the drink in his hand. “And I was a mess. And then we spent that year apart, and I was a mess. And then I found him again, in Gryffindor, and I was a mess. I fell in love with Leo and I was a mess.” He looked at them, eyes pleading, then back down at his drink. “I am so, so happy now. It worked out. I can’t believe my luck. I wake up so fucking happy every morning. Every little look at them, my life with them, is incredible.”

Remus and Thomas waited some more. Thomas sent Remus a half smile across him, then leaned his cheek on his fist.

Finally, Logan finished. “But I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t a mess without them.” He closed his eyes, exhaled a frustrated breath through his nose. “That doesn’t make sense.”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah, it really does. Tremz, I get it.” He tilted his glass, making his ice cubes stir the liquid inside. “You’re someone when you’re with who you love. But you gotta be your own someone, too.”

“Ouais,” Logan was already nodded. “Right, like…Re, you’re you, no matter what. Leo, he’s the same way. Finn, too.”

Remus sighed. “I’m not so sure right now. But I think what you’re saying makes sense. Tremz, you’re allowed to want that for yourself. It’s not a slight to the boys. At all.”

Logan laughed, still laced with frustration. He rubbed at his eyes. “But I don’t even know what I’m asking for.”

Remus smiled. “Hate to break it to you, but you’ve got a pretty level-headed duo in your corner. I mean, Finn’s Finn.”

Thomas snorted. “Might take him a second.”

Logan smiled and it was fond. “Yeah.”

“But Leo…” Remus snapped his fingers. “He’ll get it. They both will.”

Logan narrowed his eyes at the bar. “I’m not asking for space. I don’t want space. I don’t want anything to change I just want to stop feeling like I’ll crash and burn by myself.”

“Me too,” Remus admitted. “Maybe in a different way, but…me too.”

“I don’t know if I feel like I’m gonna crash,” Thomas said thoughtfully. “But hey, life’s tough sometimes.” He smiled and raised his glass. “Friends.”

They clinked their glasses together, laughing, the conversation turning to organizing a pick-up game in the park that weekend—if it didn’t snow. 

“Gotta use the big WC, gents,” Thomas said after a while, picking up his crutches. “Then pool?”

“Who the hell calls it that?” Remus snorted.

“Me,” Thomas called over his shoulder, politely excusing his way through the crowd with his charming smile and causing a few longing looks to follow him at his back.

Logan drained the last of his rum and coke. “You don’t feel like Cap’s putting pressure on you, do you?”

Remus looked at him, eyes widening for a moment. “God, no. No, he’s been nothing but supportive. It’s mostly me, I think. He even wants to talk about it. Sometimes I just…can’t.”

Logan nodded. “Good. No, good, I just thought I’d ask. When I first met him, he’d get like that with me sometimes. Wanting to run extra drills or talk through tape. I snapped at him for it a bit. This was before he was really who he is now.”

“Parents were lingering in him,” Remus nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

A man came to lean against the bar beside Remus, then, and Remus shot him a smile that he hoped looked friendly rather than uneasy. The guy was really in his space. He shared a look with Logan, who’s shoulders were rounded a little in alert, green eyes narrowed in on the guy.

“You’re Lupin, eh?” the man said.

Remus sighed softly, looking down at his now watery drink. He should’ve known.

“Yep,” he replied, and looked at the man. He had two friends, hovering a little ways back.

“What’s going on this season, huh?”

The worst part was that the man was smiling, as if he thought this conversation was going to go well.

“I mean, I know you’re with the Captain and all,” the man said. “But, I mean…come on. Some of us care about how the team does.”

“Excuse me?” Remus replied.

The man tilted his head, looking mockingly regretful. “It’s not just about you.”

“Okay,” Remus said, keeping his voice flat.

“What he do to get you there?” the man asked, leaning in like they were friends. “I mean, like…some type of reward, or does he already give you those at home?”

Remus flushed. “I think we’re done talking.”

At least his friends had the decency to look a little nervous.

The man narrowed his eyes. “I’m just saying.”

“Fuck off, man,” Logan said in a low tone.

“What,” he sneered. “You got yourself a boyfriend, too, Tremblay?”

Logan was on his feet then, stools screeching back, taller than the man, stronger. Remus’ arm shot out against his chest, keeping him and his balled fists back. The man’s friend stepped forward, too.

“Whoa, Mike,” one of the friends said, hesitating. “That’s not why we…that’s not what this is.”

“Oh,” Thomas scoffed, announcing himself as he made his way back to them. He somehow made his crutches and boot look threatening. “Wrong type of harassment for you, my guy?”

The fans’ eyes went large. “Talker…”

Thomas just stared at them, and Remus watched him go from Thomas Walker with his friends to Thomas Walker on the ice, defensemen. Enforcer. “Only my friends call me that. Sit down at your own table or get out.”

Thomas shouldered through them, one crutch landing briefly on Mike’s shoe, who only just bit back a groan. Thomas was all bright, sharp grin as he sat down, leaning his crutches against the bar again. He waved the bartender over, then looked at Mike who was still standing there.

“Do I have say it again for you?” Logan snarled. “Trust me, you don’t want me to.”

Logan sat down slowly as the three men backed up and turned away. Remus pressed a thankful hand to his shoulder, also meant to calm him down a bit.

“Well, that was fun,” Thomas sighed. “Jesus. We take you out to forget about it and those three show up.”

“It’s fine,” Remus said, though his heart was pounding. “I’m surprised that was the first time it happened. Had a close call at the grocery store the other day.”

“Another round?” Logan asked. “Then pool?”

“Ouais,” Remus smiled, in his best impression of Sirius.

~

Most of November passed without change. Remus felt the stagnant ball of frustration in his stomach. He and Sirius cooked together, slowly mastering more and more recipes. Remus lived for the triumphant look on Sirius’ face when a dish came out just right. He went out with Logan and Thomas, with James and Sirius, Finn and Jackson and Kasey. He never felt more at home than when he was tucked against Sirius’ side at a team dinner, watching Logan toss food into Finn’s mouth from across the table, hollering when he caught it and then ruffling an embarrassed Leo’s hair, who was shushing them.

The weather had officially turned to Gryffindor winter, biting harsher and harsher with each night. It got to the point where Marlene started bugging them all about the Christmas video—for the fans, she kept insisting. Come on guys, it’ll be fun!

Evgeni seemed to be the only one who was truly game for it.

Remus wasn’t unhappy, but the media was growing more and more aggravated with him, the fans’ patience was running thin like ice, and now Arthur had started sending him glancing looks until, finally, he pulled Remus into his office as the boys were packing up.

The ball rolled around Remus’ ribs, fighting for space with his heart, and he sat in the leather chair across from Arthur’s desk.

Arthur took off his glasses, which was a bad sign. He didn’t say anything for a long time and Remus didn’t have the courage to make him.

“I know,” Remus finally said, and then his throat choked up. “I’m…”

“I don’t want any apologies,” Arthur said. “And, God, Lupin, I didn’t bring you in here to yell at your so get that look off your face.”

Remus blinked through the scarce relief and looked down at his hands.

“Media’s being real tough, I know,” Arthur sighed. “I know. I just want to make sure you’re all right.”

“I’m fine,” Remus said. “I’m just…it’s not connecting, I…I don’t know. Maybe I could put in more time one-on-one with one of the coaches. Or ground work with the trainers. I know we’re about to go on the road. Maybe tomorrow morning before practice.”

Arthur hesitated, then nodded. “If you’d like. But overworking yourself isn’t gonna help if that’s not the issue. Frankly, I don’t think skill is the issue. You’re a beautiful skater out there. You’re wicked fast and can misdirect hits like I’ve never seen. But…”

“No net,” Remus mumbled.

Arthur looked regretful. “No net.”

Remus nodded. “I’m working on it. I’m doing everything I can.”

“I don’t doubt that, Remus. Really. Don’t think I do. I’ll be seeing you at the Dumais Thanksgiving, yeah?” Arthur asked.

Remus nodded, spared a smile. “Of course.”

Arthur smiled back and rose. He clapped Remus on the back as he opened the door to his office again. “Good. Try and relax over the break, okay? I know it’s short, but sometimes its less work that pays off. It doesn’t always have to be more.” He looked up. “Ah, another young rascal I’ve had to say that to.”

Remus looked up to see Sirius’ smile, his dark hair curling against his neck, but otherwise tucked under a thick black winter hat. Every muscle in Remus’ body eased at the sight of him. He wanted to wrap himself up in Sirius, tuck himself inside of his winter coat and never leave.

“Cap,” Arthur gave him a nod. “See you for Turkey. Who you’ve got for the big game?”

Sirius just shrugged. “American football. Who cares?”

Arthur made a wounded noise—and another one came from Leo and Thomas down the hall as they were bundling up for the cold. Evgeni was holding Thomas’ crutches for him as Jackson helped him into his coat. Remus cracked up and took the warm palm Sirius held out. They walked down the hallway that smelled familiar and warm, under toned by the scent of carpet and cleaner that, had it been any stronger, would have been unpleasant, but it just added to the familiarity.

The garage door rattled shut behind them as Sirius unlocked their back door, letting them into their warm kitchen. Remus shook out of his coat, hanging it in the closet and rubbing his hands together. With his coat and bag, he tried to drop everything else at the door. This was his and Sirius’ space. This wasn’t a rink, or a locker room, or the press room. Theirs. The word was warmer than the heat Sirius had set to come on a half hour before they got home.

“I’m starving,” he said. “What do you feel like? I maybe want pasta.”

“I feel like you,” came the reply from behind him.

Remus’ smile was slow and he turned to see a glint in Sirius’ eye. “What is it, the cold weather? You’ve been all riled up after games lately.”

Sirius just grinned, hands squeezing Remus’ hips. “I love watching you out there.” He pressed a kiss to Remus’ cheek, his neck and his nose, between each phrase. “I love your face, I love your feet, I love your shoulders, and the way you bite the finger of your glove while you watch the game between shifts.” The kisses got considerably more heavy, lingering and accompanied by the the brush of a tongue and teeth. “I love the way you cradle a puck and the way you tape your stick. The way your hair sticks to your neck.”

Remus just smiled, eyes closed. “I’ve been playing like shit.”

“Nu-uh,” Sirius said, and Remus whined a little at the next nip, letting Sirius rock him back against the kitchen counter. “Slumps are normal. You play amazing. Just no points. Shit and slumps,” Sirius said, and Remus’ mouth went dry as he was lowering himself to his knees. “Shit and slumps are different.”

Remus let out a laugh. “Aren’t those the words to turn a guy on.”

Sirius just grinned and bit at his pants zipper. “I love you.”

“Better choice.”

Sirius carefully pulled Remus’ zipper down. “Can I? Here?”

Remus only reply was tugging Sirius’ hat free to get at his hair, the thick strands weaving between his fingers. He could already feel himself getting interested, pressing against the slip of his boxers by Sirius’ proximity alone.

“Sirius Black,” Remus sighed as Sirius nuzzled against him.  He stroked over his hair, overwhelmed with how much every part of Sirius meant to him. “I love you.”

Sirius took one of the hands Remus had in his hair by and kissed the inside of his wrist.

Remus let Sirius’ mouth fuzz his mind out, moaning softly at his hollowed out cheeks, laughing at the gentle nips to his hips and thighs. After, Sirius kissed him against the counter until both of their stomachs growled. Remus pressed his mouth against Sirius’ flushed hot cheek.

“I feel like a million bucks, thanks, baby.”

Sirius just smiled, tucking himself away.

It was true. Remus felt home. Settled. Almost as if he could forget the conversation today. Maybe even like he wanted to go down the the basement rink, just for fun, which he hadn’t felt like in a while.

“D’accord,” Remus sing-songed. “We have pasta or chicken or both.”

Sirius grinned. “Both.”

They were mostly quiet as they cooked, bumping hips, iPhone playing softly through their speakers. Remus watched the way Sirius kept his fingers carefully curled away from the knife, like Remus’ mom had taught him that summer. His tongue peaked out of the corner of his mouth, the same way it did when he was carrying a puck up the ice.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius asked softly as Remus minced garlic.

Remus glanced over at him, then kept his eyes on his fingers, so close to the sharp blade. “Um. Coach says it’s not my fault. He says I’m playing well. It’s just…pointless.”

“C’est pas—”

“No, not like pointless, like, pointless. Like I’m not getting net.”

“Ah.”

They smiled at each other, Remus’ a little shakier.

“Yeah.”

I feel like I’m letting you down.

“I feel…” Remus began, and the words caught. “Um. I mean, it’ll get better. It has to.”

Sirius’ expression flickered, but he nodded. “Mhm.”

“Do you feel like a white sauce?” Remus asked, turning to the refrigerator. “Go well with the chicken.”

“Sure,” Sirius nodded. “Sounds perfect, mon loup.”

Remus took a long breath as he opened the refrigerator doors, maybe taking longer than necessary to find the half & half. He was angry at himself. He didn’t know why the words were sticking to the back of his throat. He didn’t want pity, he supposed. He didn’t want Sirius to feel like he had to comfort him. Remus closed his eyes.

He’d do better.

~

Leo and Finn had their shoulders pressed together, each with their own book in their hands, when Logan opened the apartment door.

“Got the cream,” Logan raised the shopping back, and Leo all but leapt from the cushions.

“Yeah you do,” Finn said without looking up.

“Thank you,” Leo slid on his socks in his rush to get to Logan. He pressed his palms to Logan’s cold cheeks, kissing him in a quick burst. “Thank you, thank you, I love you.”

Logan smiled as Leo scurried back into the kitchen to finish making his part of the the American Thanksgiving dinner Pascal was hosting.

“I can’t believe I ran out,” Leo said, stirring something on the stove.

“It’s fine, Le,” Logan said, shrugging out of his jacket and following him in. “Happy to get you whatever you need.”

Leo turned, a touched pout on his face, and Logan beat him to it this time with a slower kiss of his own. Leo tasted like the caramel he had had them all taste test earlier and Logan licked into his mouth eagerly.

“I love you, too,” Logan mumbled.

Leo’s expression softened in the way it always did when one of them said that. Maybe Logan wasn’t the only one who couldn’t believe his luck.

“Want to peel sweet potatoes?” Leo asked with a hopeful grin, and Logan laughed.

“Sure, soleil.”

Finn gasped from the couch, eyes on his book, glasses on his nose. “They kissed. I fucking knew they would.”

Leo gasped, too. “No. Harzy, spoilers, you’re faster than me.”

Logan looked between them. “Are you guys reading the same book again, like, next to each other?”

“Sorry,” Finn said, but he was gripping the book like another secret might spill out. “And yes.”

Leo pressed a peeler into his hands with another kiss, this one fast and skittering across his cheekbone.

“I love both of you,” Logan sighed as he picked up the first potato. “You’re weird.”

Finn closed his book without marking his place and heaved himself up with a groan, cracking his back. He came to sit at the bar counter across from where Logan was peeling.

“Thanks for the help, Harz,” Logan said.

“I don’t like it when my hands smell like potato.”

Leo laughed. “Sweetheart, how’d you ever survive on your own?”

“Take out,” Finn and Logan answered at the same time.

“And catering,” Finn added. “I think the NHL is used to boys who can’t cook. Marlene just slid the caterer’s card into my hand without a word.”

Leo just shook his head. “She tried the same thing on me. Honey, please.”

Logan and Finn shared a smile, both turning to gaze at Leo’s back.

“How much time do we have?” Leo asked.

“Like, two hours, babe, you’re good,” Finn said.

“Do I have time to ravish you in your glasses?” Logan asked.

Finn raised a teasing eyebrow. “Oh, these old things? You want to wear them?”

Logan dropped his peeler and walked around the counter. He spun Finn to face him on the stool and Finn’s feet hooked around his calves, holding him there. “Non.”

Finn smiled, leaning forward to nip at Logan’s bottom lip and pull.

“Tremblay, potatoes.”

Logan groaned and Finn gave his butt a firm slap as he pulled away. “Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

~

“Uh, hey dad,” Cole cleared his throat. “It’s me. I just um. I’m in Pascal Dumais’ house. Can you believe that? Uh, I just wanted to say…you know, happy Thanksgiving, and all that. Maybe you can come out to a game soon? Yeah…let me know, I can get you tickets. Okay. Okay, see you. Merry—or happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, okay. Bye.”

Cole sighed as he put his phone down and looked around the Dumais’ sitting room. It was tidy, with food laid out every table, ready for guests. Cole, after that phone call, already felt tired.

There was a knock on the doorframe and he turned to see Layla, smiling at him hesitantly. She held out a glass of a deep colored wine. “I thought maybe you’d want some.”

“Oh, I can’t, uh…” Cole began.

Layla snorted. “Me neither, but…” she glanced around the tall-ceilinged living room. “Who’s gonna tell? Dumo? Please.”

Cole laughed a little and took the thin stem from her fingers. “Thank you.”

Layla nodded, bending for a cheese and cracker. “That sounded a little tough. If you don’t mind me saying.”

Cole pocketed his phone. “It’s not really. Well…maybe now it is. But I don’t think of him that way, of this that way. He’s a good father.”

He sounded defensive even to himself and sighed. “When he decides to be.”

“He hard on you?” Layla asked. She took a seat on the couch and Cole glanced around before settling on the ottoman of one of the fat leather chairs. “About all this?”

“Hockey?” Cole said, then laughed. “No. No way, he doesn’t give a shit about ice hockey. My mom got me into hockey. My dad still hopes I’ll be, like, I don’t know…I don’t know what.”

Layla frowned. “It’s not like you could’ve been a money-bags doctor and chose to paint watercolors instead?”

Cole cracked a smile. “Yeah…Yeah, he sort of skipped around a lot before I actually started getting good.”

“Oh,” Layla said softly.

The doorbell rang. And then rang again and again, like someone was jamming their finger into it repeatedly.

“Tremzy!” he heard Katie shriek a moment later.

Warm voices filled the hall.

Cole rose and, after a moment, offered Layla a hand. She smiled, letting him pull her up. “It’s not as sob-story as it sounds.”

“I get it,” Layla nodded. “My older sister skipped altogether when I was little. Still don’t know why. I know it’s not the same but…”

“I’m sorry,” Cole said.

Layla just smiled, one of her bright ones, and wrapped her hand—gold rings and all—around his arm. “Come on. Shit’s about to get wild.”

“And delicious,” Cole said, turning towards the smells coming from the kitchen.

Layla laughed, and Cole wanted to hear that sound twenty more times.

[meguriv]

•Midnight•

❣ Denji x fem reader❣

18+

Note: This is my first fic ever, also English is not my native language. I apologize for any horrible mistakes, however I did try my best in correcting any errors. (Sorry if this is cringe ejejshwhwh)

Also if anyone reading this has any tips for writing I would really appreciate you sharing them in a comment or message!

Warnings: 18+, oral (male receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, reader is a virgin (so is Denji), blood.

Word count: 2k

It was midnight, the window was open, letting the cool air of the night into your room. You rested your head on your desk, waiting for your boyfriend.

You have been going out with Denji for only two weeks, you both really liked each other, maybe a little too much.

That’s why there was a lingering tension between the two of you, sexual tension perhaps?

He never got to sleep with a girl and you were a virgin as well. That’s why you decided to invite him home this late in the night, both of you with clear intentions in mind.

Suddenly you jumped in your seat, it seems you feel asleep-

“Hey” a familiar voice said. Looking to your left you saw Denji “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, but I saw the window open and I couldn’t resist jumping in” you smiled at that “I left it open for you”.

There was now a very uncomfortable silence, neither of you knew what to say. He took his jacket off and rested it on the window, he was still wearing part of his school uniform. No matter how many times you saw him in those clothes, you couldn’t take your eyes off his body.

You were looking at each other, he seemed to get a step closer at a time, slowly.

There was a lot of tension like usual, but he was more determined this time.

The light in the room was just perfect, a full moon and distant lights in the street made the ideal atmosphere.

You couldn’t handle it anymore, you were getting tired of the shy girl act and put your hands on his shoulders softly.

“Denji…please, touch me”. He seemed hesitant for a moment “hm” that’s all he could say, grabbing your wrists to put them around his neck, then slowly placing his hands on your waist.

You felt his lips on yours, and then his tongue, it was too much. It started to get heated and passionate very quickly.

You broke the kiss for a moment to breathe, your face felt like it might explode. Looking at him you saw his half lidded eyes on you, his lips looking for yours again.

It wasn’t the first time you kissed, in fact your first kiss with him was the way you confessed. After a few months since his first day at school as a new student, you finally had the courage to express your feelings and it appeared he liked you too, or at least he liked the fact that you liked him.

Your bodies were pressed against each other, you could feel his erection through his pants starting to grow, it made you so happy that you couldn’t help to bring your hand down, earning a soft groan from him.

“Can I…?” you said still shy but much more eager this time, “Yes” he didn’t know what you meant exactly, but when you pushed him softly to sit at the edge of your bed and got on your knees, he understood.

His cheeks grew hot, he has never had anyone suck his dick before and he didn’t expect such a thing from you either.

As you slid his pants and underwear down, his erection sprung free, making you nervous finally realizing what you have gotten yourself into. Having never done this before, your were scared to mess up but it was too late to back down now. Your brain was full of impure thoughts and no amount of anxiousness could stop you now.

You started at the tip licking it slowly, you knew you had to use your tongue properly for this, you were really just improvising. You tried to fit his entire length in your mouth little by little, using your own hand to help with the job

“A-ah so good” the way he said that made you rub your thighs together, whining softly into his cock.

He placed his hand on the back of your head, playing with your hair softly trying to bring you forward with each bob of your head. “I-I’m close please stop or I will-”

But you didn’t stop, you have dreamed of tasting him for so long all you could think about was sucking him dry with your mouth. You needed his release deep down your throat. It was a greedy pace until he started to move his hips forward reaching deeper and deeper, tears finally spilling from your eyes.

“ S-sorry I can’t stop- it feels so good, ah- so good-!” his moans were music to your ears, you wanted to let him know that the tears were from happiness rather than discomfort, but how could you? His dick was so deep inside your throat you feared you might loose your voice.

He came hard and it wouldn’t stop, it seemed like minutes past and he was still releasing thick ropes of cum, his voice cracking and cursing loudly. You didn’t let a single drop go to waste swallowing bit by bit, the action made him hard again.

After his breaths slowed down he looked down at you, face still red, he could barely process what had just happened all he knew is how turned on he was.

He then fixed his eyes on your clothed body, “Take that off”

You didn’t expect him to order you, but you didn’t complain. Getting back on your feet you took off your nightgown slowly sliding it off of you until it landed on your feet.

His eyes landed immediately on your breasts, you felt exposed but felt yourself grow wet at his gaze.

“Take that off too” he was referring to your panties. You had carefully picked out a laced pair to wear just for him but he didn’t seem to care (that’s the kind of guy he is, you thought).

You did as you were told, however Denji was getting impatient and decided to grab your waist and pull you on the bed.

“Too slow”. Both his hands rested on your breasts, starting to squeeze them.

Denji was feeling overwhelmed by all of this, he did prepare himself mentally before coming to your house this late at night, but when he had you pinned underneath him completely naked and vulnerable, he started to shake a bit, both from anxiousness and excitement.

“It’s okay Denji, you can do whatever you want…please make me feel good” you said sighing at the soft touch of his hands on your breasts, he realised how sensitive you were there.

After you said that, all of his worries faded away. The only thing on his mind right know was fucking you good. He quickly took his shirt off, almost ripping it open, you laughed a little at how eager he was.

He started to kiss you again this time pushing his tongue inside your mouth with no mercy, his hand travelled south, feeling how wet you were already, he inserted a finger making you gasp.

The felling of one of his fingers alone was already too much for you. Your soft moans making him go crazy, he decided to insert a second finger.

His moves were rather clumsy but at the same time it was driving you insane. Just like you earlier, he was just improvising.

“Deeenjii aah I’m going to cum don’t stop aah~” you almost cried,

“Yea? cum for me then, that’s it” his hand moved faster finally hitting that sweet spot inside of you.

He felt you coming as you were tightening around his fingers, making a mess of his hand. While you were recovering from your high he pulled out and started to separate his fingers, looking at your arousal splitting in strings. His tongue went out to lick at them, humming at the taste,

“hmm~ It’s good, here have some too” he brought his hand to your mouth, you grabbed his wrist an started to slowly lick at his fingers until they were clean.

He caught your mouth into his again, you two shared another messy kiss. It felt a little dirty but so good at the same time.

He couldn’t get enough of you, so he started to grind his hard cock against your inner thigh.

He started to lick your neck making you moan again, another sensitive spot he found. Suddenly he bit hard on your skin, enough to draw blood-

“AH! Denji! It hurts!! What are you-?” He was drinking the blood that spilled from your neck, you wanted to stop him as you started to get scared but the pain faded away replacing it by pleasure.

“I needed this, your blood I need it…” you didn’t understand what he meant but to be honest you didn’t care anymore, after all, you did say he could do whatever he wanted with you.

Licking the trail of blood from your neck, he stopped at your breasts, admiring them once again, this time sucking harshly at your nipples, more whines filled the room.

He switched his attention from one breast to the other, taking his sweet time there while he guided his cock with his free hand to your cunt, rubbing at the entrance.

He was teasing but both of you were enjoying it, no need to rush things, after all this is your first time.

Denji was now looking at you as he kept moving his erection up and down your wet folds. The stare was intense, you saw him smile softly with half closed eyes, you returned the smile

“I’ll put it in now okay?” he said closer to your ear this time, “please don’t hold back” you said as you felt like your heart was going to burst.

He indeed didn’t hold back, seeing how wet you were he pushed himself inside of you in one go, holding one of your legs up for easier access. You both moaned at the new feelings, minds getting clouded with pure lust.

Without warning he started to move, none of you holding back any sounds, if someone walked outside the house they would definitely hear everything.

It felt so good, Denji is a natural you thought, sure you didn’t have anyone to compare him to, but the way he moved fast and hard inside of you made your vision blurry.

“So good, you feel so good inside of me, aah~ right there!” you finished the sentence with a sob, it was so good you could cry.

All Denji managed to do was moan, he was trying to say something but he seemed to struggle, you were so tight around him it made him go stupid “Aaah~ hm S-say my, my name, say it” is all you could understand.

“Denji” you complied

“Again” he said

“Deenji~”

“Again” he hit your g-spot this time

“Denji!!” you screamed,

“Say it again!”

“Denji! Ahh! I’m going to cum! yesyesyes right there don’t stop!” He brought his forehead to yours, sweat dripping from both of you. He started cursing you could tell he was close too.

Your hand grabbed at his blond locks pulling his head back a little, and then you came, your walls clenching around him which made him spill his seed deep inside you.

Both of you were riding out your orgasm as much as possible, hips still moving slowly.

He didn’t pull out, your legs were still wrapped around his waist.

He was looking into your eyes yet again, the tiredness becoming clear. He dropped himself onto you, head rested on your chest, where he liked to be the most.

A noticeable silence filled the room. Both of you about to fall asleep to the soft sound of your breathing.

Who would have thought that you would end up with him like this, after falling in love with him practically the same day you met him.

I really am in love with him, you thought to yourself, and with that you drifted into a deep sleep only hoping that he felt the same way.

If only you knew that you made his dream come true…

[wowitsel]

a little bit of me on you

tattoo shop! calum hood x gn! reader

summary: tattoo artist calum hood lets the reader give him a tattoo

word count: 1.3k

Leaning back in your chair, you admired your boyfriend as he sat at his desk sketching a tattoo idea. A late night at the tattoo shop had led you to go hang out with your boyfriend, Calum, at his work. It was often routine for you to hang around the shop while Calum finished up. It gave you time to hang out, even with both of your hectic schedules. It was always nice to hang out there after hours, it was oddly calm.

Sneaking up behind Calum, you got a better look at what he was drawing. Peeking at his work, you enquired, “So… whatcha working on?”

Stopping his sketching to talk to you, he responds, “Ahh just a floral piece for a client. You like it so far?” As he sees you nod, he continues, “You really should let me tattoo you again.”

Calum had given you several tattoos. With the two of you dating, it felt silly for you to get one from anyone else. He always gave you them free of charge (despite the argument from you), and it didn’t hurt that he was an insanely talented tattoo artist.

It was no secret that Calum didn’t contemplate much with his tattoos. With the sheer amount of them, he really couldn’t have. Add in him being a tattoo artist, and you have a man who gets tattoos in a very rash manner.

With this knowledge, staring at the man in front of you, a lightbulb lit up in your brain as you came up with an idea. You walk up behind the man, and hug him from behind, staring up at him. “Hey Cal, I have an idea…” Intrigued, Calum nodded to encourage you to keep speaking, “What if I give you a tattoo… I mean it could just be a small lil thing, and I know I’m not the best artist but I thought it could be fun.”

Calum surprised you, and he promptly responded, “I’m down” with a smile on his face.

“For real?”

“For real.”

Now, smiling like a maniac, you quickly ran your hand through Calum’s hair, while asking him; “So, what do you want for a tattoo? Try and go a little easy on me. You are the professional here.”

Calum sighed dramatically, “Well, you could do a smiley face or a heart, it’s really up to you, I’m down for anything, my love.”

“I have a scary amount of power in my hands don’t you think?”, you said in a disney villain-esque voice.

Calum gives you a look, while teasingly saying, “well, maybe not anything”

“Can’t take it back now, darling” you reply.

You then grabbed his hand to pull him away from his desk; “Now, c’mon let’s go!”

Pulling him toward his tattooing station, and gently shoved him down onto the chair.

“So you’re just gonna free-hand this?” you hear Calum say to you.

“Umm yes?” you answered unsure of how he would respond.

Calum just shrugged it off and nonchalantly replied, “Ok”.

Now, you had watched and received enough tattoos to generally know what you were doing, so you weren’t too nervous. That being said, you were going to be putting something on his body permanently, so it was a bit of a big deal. Walking over to the table with all the equipment, you stood there standing in front of it, just wondering where to even start.

Calum seemed to have read your mind at the moment. Getting up from the chair, and asking you, “You want me to set it all up for you?”

“Yes please,” you said, giving him a small smile and taking his place sitting on the chair.

Fidgeting with the loose thread hanging off the chair, you tell Calum, I think I’m gonna do a smiley face like you said. I don’t really trust myself enough to do much else”

Calum smiled at your little quip at your tattooing skills and replied, “Sounds good baby.”

Finishing up everything he needed to do to set up, Calum brought the tattoo gun, and everything else needed over to you and took a seat again once you stood up.

“So how much will you hate me if I mess up?” you said in a jokingly curious tone.

“You’re not giving me much confidence in your tattoo skills, my love” you hear him say as you situate yourself above his arm where he wanted the tattoo.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine” you sigh as you pat him on the arm. “You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be”

As you press the tattoo gun down onto Calum’s skin, he barely shows any signs of discomfort. “Is this really not hurting? Cause you seem to just be chillaxin’ or something, babe, I don't really get it. Every time I get a tattoo I wince and whine like a little baby. Am I a wimp for pain or something?”

Calum just replies to you by saying, “Baby, I've gotten a lot of tattoos, calm down, and pay more attention to the tattoo, it's gonna be on my body forever!”

You decided to listen to Calum’s advice and focus on the task at hand. Granted, it wasn’t a very big tattoo, so theoretically it shouldn’t have taken long, but you were being extra careful and slow, because of the whole “permanent” thing.

Getting into a grove, there was a nice silence and calm feeling in the air. Getting comfortable in the chair, and used to the feeling of the tattoo, Calum started to half-sing, half-hum some random tune he had thought of.

Smiling, and listening to him, you told him, “You sound good, you should become a singer or something”

“Ha! Imagine that; Calum Hood, rockstar. I could never.” Calum says to you, and you both chuckle at the thought. Calum leans his head over to check on the progress of the tattoo as you finish the last line in his tattoo.

“I’m done!” you say to him with a big smile on your face.

Calum gives you a look of admiration while telling you, “You did amazing, I’m so proud of you baby”

“I’m glad you think so. Now, I’m gonna go get the bandages and all that other shit so it doesn’t get infected or something,” you say getting up.

“Look at you being all professional, huh?” Calum says with a teasing smile.

“Yup!” you start to walk away when you realize that you have no idea where any of that stuff is; “So… ummm, the thing is…”

“You need me to get it for you?” Calum slyly says.

“Yes,” you squeak out meekly.

“I got you, baby,” Calum says while walking toward the supplies drawer.

After making his way back, Calum starts to put on the petroleum jelly on the fresh tattoo, and tries to put the bandage on himself, but struggles because of the position of the tattoo on his arm.

“Here, let me help you,” you said, grabbing the bandage out of his hand.

Wrapping it around his arm, you kiss the fully wrapped tattoo, and then kiss Calum on the lips. “Thank you for letting me do this Cal” you whisper against his lips.

“Thank you for not messing up,” he says, making you laugh.

“Now come on, let’s go cuddle on the couch”

After making your way to the waiting area of the tattoo shop, Calum plops down onto the couch, so he’s laying down on it, and pats the space next to him signaling for you to lay next to him, which you do.

As you lay down on the couch, Calum wraps his arm around you and kisses you on the forehead.

“This was fun,” you whisper to him.

“Yeah, it was.” you hear Calum whisper back as you see him start to yawn.

“You tired baby?” you say as you snuggle into him more.

“Yeah” Calum says weakly as you see him slowly fall asleep.

You smile at him as you begin to fall asleep yourself, so happy.

[aubreyprc]

safe in these arms of mine

prompt - you’re safe . i’m here

summary - emily gets taken by their recent unsub, someone they named the three day killer. they know they have three days to find her, aaron refuses to let them get to four.

word count - 3.3k

TW / mentions of torture (not graphic), alluded / implied hint of SA (not graphic or mentioned)

He thinks he’s probably watched the CCTV footage more times than he’s ever watched anything, rewinding certain moments in hopes of something that will give them a clue, something that will tell them where she is. who he is. anything.

Watching her drop to the ground, even after seeing it hundreds of times, still makes his heart fall into his stomach, the sight of the man picking her up over his shoulders, carrying her like she was dead weight. like she was nothing still making him feel sick, still making him feel guilty. not that he could ever tell anyone why. Not that he can really act on how terrified he is.

To everyone else’s knowledge, they’re colleagues, friends, just like he is with the rest of the team. He can be worried, they’re all worried, all scared of what could happen, all nauseous at the idea of what she could be going through, but he can’t be anything more. Because to everyone else’s knowledge, they're just friends but in reality, behind closed doors, away from prying eyes, FBI policy’s and fraternization rules, they’re something. They’re more than something.

What started off as casual, turned into coffee and coffee soon turned into dinner, dinner soon turned into staying the night and four months later in the darkness of her bedroom, his fingers tracing patterns on her spine as she lay in his arms, the three words slipped out of his mouth… and ten seconds later she repeated them, a soft smile on her face. a smile he has never forgotten.

A smile he would kill to see again.

They’re eight months in now, getting to the point where keeping them a secret was becoming impossible, Jack far too young and unpredictable to not blurt out something that would cause the penny to drop.

As he watches the footage for the millionth time, the guilt is almost overwhelming, his palms cut to pieces from how harsh he is clenching a fist. He knows if they don’t find her, that if day three comes and they still don’t have a location, that he’d never forgive himself, he wouldn’t know how to. He wouldn’t want to.

He was supposed to be with her.

Jack was with a friend, and they’d had plans to stay at her apartment, order take out and just be without a four year old demanding their attention for most of the night. But they’d argued. A stupid argument. So stupid that he can’t even remember what started it, or what it was even about. All he remembers is her bitter laugh before she walked out of his office, all but slamming the door behind her as she walked back into the bullpen and grabbed her stuff, he remembers watching her go, remembers telling himself that he’d call her when he got home, or maybe he would go over, make it up to her.

He prays he still gets the chance to. Prays that the last memory he has of her… of them… won’t be her walking away from him in anger. That their last conversation won’t be something he can’t even remember.

“You’re going to drive yourself insane if you keep watching that.” Dave tells him as he walks into the office, “it won’t bring her back. It won’t give you any more information.”

Aaron remains silent, his eyes peeled on the screen, her facing in the direction of the unsub, her face in full view of the camera.

“Reid has something on the unsub…” he says, but Aaron can’t bring himself to hear it. “I know this is hard but—”

“You don’t know.” he says, turning to face his friend, “you don’t know.” he repeats and the older man nods.

“You’re right. I don’t.” he accepts, before staring at him, “but I know you love her.” he says and Aaron’s eyes widen, “and I know she loves you. And I know she’s counting on us.. on you to focus, to put our feelings and our fear on hold and find her.”

“I can’t even think about what she could be going—”

“Then don’t.” he tells him, “don’t think. Help her. Help her by doing what you can. Here. Now.”

Aaron nods, standing and following the man out of the office and into the briefing room.

They all refuse to go home, refuse to waste time when she has so little of it, refuse to do anything but find her, the thought of what she could be going through knocking every single one of them sick.

The entire building feels eerie, everyone on egg shells around the team, scared to say the wrong thing, scared to say anything. Everyone loved Emily, and her absence noticeable at any time, and so the entire situation has the bullpen in silence, the only sound being the muttering of the agents on the case as they work alongside the team to find their missing member. Their missing friend.

They all know what this unsub does, have all read the case files, seen the pictures of the women he’d taken and killed over the last few weeks, have heard in detail what he does to them before hand, and it becomes the elephant in the room, every single person knowing exactly what Emily was going through, knowing far too much about what could happen if they don’t find her, but no one ever says anything, no one comments, no one even brings it up, because they can’t. The knowing itself is enough, they shouldn’t have to talk about it too.

Aaron is the only one who tortures himself by looking at the other cases, reading over what they went through before he killed them, how he killed them, and what he did to them afterwards. It’s the same every time, the same marks and bruises on each woman they found, all killed the same way around the same time and all found in the same place, beaten, bloody and cold, all with signs of a struggle, as if he’d toyed with them, given them to opportunity to fight him off… each woman died in pain, alone and scared, and the idea that Emily might go through that, the fact that he could be doing to her what he did to all the others makes him nauseous, it makes him murderous but mostly it just makes him want to scream, cry, shout, and he can do neither, not yet, not when he still has the chance to get her back. Not when there’s hope that he can save her.

And he will. He has to. Loosing her is not an option.

“Stop.” Morgan says as he enters his office, “reading the files won’t change this. If anything it will just make it worse.”

“There could—”

“Reid has the files memorised…” he says, “there’s nothing in there.”

He closes the file, rubbing a hand over his face as he leans on the chair.

“How is he this hidden?” he asks, “we’ve been trying to find him for three weeks and all we have is that he’s male, in his thirties and…” he stops, shaking his head as he thinks about what he does to the women he takes.

“I know.” he nods, “but we’ll find him.”

“Will we find him in time?” he asks, the silence between them lingering as the other man remains without an answer.

“We can only try.” he tells him, “and trust that she’s strong enough to wait until we do.” he says softly, before leaving the office.

He sighs as he opens his draw, grabbing his wallet before pulling out a picture he hides behind one of Jack, a picture Penelope took just a few weeks ago when she just had to capture the moment as she stated on the email she forwarded the picture on. He smiles every time he looks at it, her grin sending warmth through him as he looks at it, the blissful happiness on their faces as they sit in their own bubble, his own smile on his face as he looks at her. He rubs a thumb over it, his heart aching in his chest as he swallows.

I’ll find you.

And they do. On day three.

They speed through the traffic, each of them tense with anxiety as they sit in the SUV, neither knowing what they’re going to walk into. If they’ll make it on time.

The warehouse is huge, the smell of blood, sweat and death hits them as soon as their in, each going in a different direction as they search for her. For him. For anything.

Aaron hears them before he sees them, leans against the wall as he calculates what his next move should be, signals for the team to head in his direction as he tries to block out the sound of her choking, dreads to think what he’s going to be met with when he turns the corner.

Reid and Morgan head his way first, are on the other side of the building when he spots them, and on his nod, all three man make themselves known, turning the corner with their guns out, but all can see is her. The way the only reason she is still standing being due to her arms being hung above her, her head lulled to the ground, no movement, not even a groan and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt panic like it before.

He has no intention to chase the man when he runs, grateful that the other two take off in a sprint after him, and he heads towards her.

He stands in front of her, heart hammering in his chest as terror fills his body and slowly cups her face, moving her head up to look at him and when he’s met with her tired, but open eyes, the relief that fills him is enough to make him want to cry. But the fear in her eyes, the sheer terror that stares back at him has him pushing it away, his focus on her.

“You’re okay.” he whispers, quickly freeing her hands from the chains above her, wrapping an arm around her waist as he does, catching her as she all but falls into him, a soft cry leaving her throat as her arms drop, the only reason she doesn’t being that he has her, wraps her protectively into him and all she can do is look at him, shock, exhaustion, pain, terror and everything in between meaning it takes her a few moments to register what’s going on, to register that it’s Aaron but it’s obvious the moment she does. The look of terror turning into relief as she relaxes, letting him pull her into his arms and she goes willingly into them, her face in his chest as she breathes, tears threatening to fall down her face as she allows the last few days to process. There’s a bang from the other side of the room that causes her to flinch, to tense in fear and he runs a hand down her back.

“It’s okay..” his voice is soft, soothing and he smiles at her when she lifts her head to look at him. “You’re okay. It’s over.”

“Can we get out of here?” she asks, her voice dry and rough, a hint that she’s been without water for days and he nods.

“Of course.” he says, gently wrapping an arm around her waist as he helps her walk out of the room.

She gets the all clear from the hospital and is free to go that night, her ribs bruised but not broken, her arms strained but no damage to the ligaments, a concussion she might feel for a few days, but no bleed, no damage, is told she’s lucky, and she wants to scream, feeling anything but luck as she sits in the passenger seat, her mind replaying the last three days on a loop, the man’s face, voice, touch lingering with her, can feel his hands on her skin, can hear his voice as he toys with her, can see his face so clearly he might as well he sat next to her but she’s lucky, because he didn’t break her ribs, she’s lucky because he didn’t kill her, how does she explain that she wishes he did?

Aaron walks them up to her apartment, his hand around her waist as she uses him to hold herself up, a lump in the back of her throat as she tries to pretend as though she hasn’t spent the last three days tortured, laughed at, broken.

“I’ll go and run you a bath,” he says softly as he enters her apartment, she simply stands, her hand clinging to her throbbing ribs as she nods. “Can I get you anything?”

“No,” she says with a tired smile, “I’m good. Tired.”

“Would you prefer a shower—”

“No,” she says quickly, before smiling as best she can, “A bath would be great.” she nods and he smiles, slowly walking over to her and waiting for her to lean into him before wrapping an arm around her waist, helping her up the stairs as she winces in pain. He’d do anything to take it from her. For it to have been him instead.

-

He sits on the floor next to the bath at her request, stroking gentle patterns onto her hand as she stares ahead and he waits, knowing she has to be the one to talk first, knowing he can’t rush this.

“The last woman you found… she couldn’t have been older than twenty.” she says, her eyes still staring ahead of her.

“Yeah..” he whispers, “found her just before we…” he stops, “you saw her?”

“He killed her right in front of me…” she says, turning to look at him, “she was begging me to help her, I could hear her crying but…” she stops, looks away from him.

“There’s nothing you could have done, Em.” he tells her, “you know that. It’s not your fault.”

She doesn’t answer, simply continues to stare at the wall ahead. He wants to ask, he needs to, but he doesn’t know how. Isn’t sure he wants to know. He’ll have to read the police report anyway, sign off on her being back on duty in a few weeks and he wonders if that might be easier. To read it rather than hear it, but he also knows he needs to hear it from her, needs to let her be the one to tell him, tell him what, he isn’t sure.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” he asks her gently, smiling softly when she turns to face him, “I’m not leaving,” he tells her, “but if you want some space tonight, if you want some time to work through this, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

She smiles slightly, linking their fingers together as they rest on the side of the bath and she slowly shakes her head.

“I don’t want to be alone.” she whispers, and he nods.

“I’m here,” he tells her. “Whenever you’re ready to talk… I’m here.”

“I know.” she says, “I’m exhausted.”

“Come on.” he says, getting to his feet with a groan that makes her laugh slightly, before he helps her up, wrapping her in a towel before walking them towards the bed. He hands her an old jumper, one that nine months ago, used to belong to him, and a pair of joggers, kissing her head slightly.

“I’ll grab some water, I’ll be right back.” he tells her and she nods, watches him go as she takes a deep breath, focuses on getting into the clothes rather than the silence, rather than the memories of the last few days.

By the time he’s back she’s already in bed, her eyes staring at a spot of the wall across the room as she curls into the duvet and his heart breaks when the creek of the floor makes her jump.

He places the water on her bedside table, runs a gentle finger across her cheek as he passes her and gets himself in bed, turns to face her when she rolls over, taking her hand gently when she rests it on his chest, smiling when he links their fingers.

“Derek said you kept reading the other women’s files.” she says softly, he looks at her and nods. “He pretty much stuck to the script.” she tells him, looking from him to their hands. “I wish you didn’t read them.” she whispers, tracing his fingers with her own.

“When your ready to tell me, I’ll listen.” he says, “I’ll wait for you to tell me.”

“You’ll read the report before—”

“I’ll wait for you to tell me.” he whispers; she nods.

“Okay.” she whispers, “thank you.”

“Get some rest,” he tells her, “I’m right here.”

She smiles before she leans up to kiss him, wrapping herself around him as she inhales, the scent of him calming her, the feeling of safely taking ahold of her as she sighs, closing her eyes.

“I love you.” she whispers as he kisses her head and he smiles.

“I love you too.” he tells her, and waits until shes asleep before allowing himself to fall asleep too.

It’s barley been three hours when her scream jolts him awake. He sits up instantly, terror taking over as he registers what woke him and he turns, slowly reaching out to cup her face as she cries in her sleep, completely taken over by a nightmare, by a memory, by fear.

“Emily,” he whispers, trying to wake her carefully. “Em, sweetheart. Wake up.” he says a little louder, tapping her face gently as she gasps, her eyes opening instantly and she sits up, hyperventilating as she cries, a hand on her chest as she struggles to breathe and he holds her.

“You’re okay.” he whispers, “just breathe. It’s okay.” he soothes, a gentle hand on her back. Her breathing evens out pretty quickly but her tears do not, her entire body shaking with fear as he holds her close.

“You’re safe now,” he tells her, lifting her face to wipe her tears as she looks at him. “I’m here.” he says, “You’re safe.”

He slowly lays them back down, wrapping his arms around her when she clings onto him, resting herself in his arms.

“I love you.” she mutters as she slowly breathes, allowing herself to succumb to sleep.

“I love you too.” he whispers. “You’re safe. I’m here.” he repeats, hoping it soothes her, hoping she feels safe with him.

It’s obvious she does when she doesn’t wake until late that next afternoon and goes searching for him as soon as she realises he’s not next to her.

She finds him on the couch and heads towards him, smiling as she sits next to him and rests her head on his chest, relaxing the minute his arms wrap around her.

“You weren’t in bed.” she mumbles as she closes her eyes.

“I’m right here.” he whispers, “I’ll always be here.” he promises, and he smiles when she mumbles a small I know, before falling back into a dreamless sleep.

[stinkysidebitch]

Horny Bird (HawksXGN!Reader)

Summary: Hawks gets hit with a libido quirk and tries to hide it from you, obvs very NSFW, no mentions of reader’s genitalia 

(first smut chile)

-------------------------------------------

Today had been a very.. strange day for Keigo Takami to say the least. He went to work like he normally had, and the first villain he took down was supposed to be fairly weak. His quirk wasn’t. Hawks was hit, but he didn’t tell anyone. He didn’t even text you, his loving, live-in partner.  Still, after that the individual was pretty easy to take down. Then he had to deal with a few more unsavory characters and began to really feel it. 

First thing that happened was he remembered waking up to you this morning and he felt that dull ache in his stomach. Then that feeling happened again. It happened three times after before the rest of his body began to ache. He ended up finishing his shift and coming home with the most painful boner he had ever experienced. Everything in Hawk’s body was tense, and warm, and aching. He wanted you so damn badly. It had been a libido quirk, he wasn’t stupid. 

With every step he felt himself shift in his boxers and he had to pause to keep himself from letting out any of the sinful groans he was trying to swallow down. In truth Hawks was surprised it didn’t hit him harder right away, but now he felt like his legs were fucking numb as he trudged inside. He hoped you were taking a nap so he could go in the bathroom and jerk it until his member quit throbbing, but unfortunately he wasn’t that lucky.

He closed the door a little too loudly, and just like that your voice rang out from the kitchen.

“Hey, babe! Made us some dinner, come eat!”

Even hearing your voice made his stomach tighten. 

“I-uh..Yeah, just. I need to go lay down for a bit,”

First of all Keigo was stuttering. He didn’t do that. He sounded strangely unsure. You peeked around the corner and took him in. He was red and sweaty. He awkwardly kicked his shoes off and put his jacket on the coat hanger while avoiding your gaze. His headphones were next to go, tossed haphazardly into the nearest chair. His wings were shaking. That was pretty rare.

“Are you okay?

“Never better, birdie.” He gave you that smile. You know the one, but something wasn’t right. He looked like he was straining a bit. Maybe he just had a bad day and wasn’t feeling well.

“Can I lay with you?”

“Uh- sure, yeah.” Weird. He was being hesitant. 

In truth you wanted to see what was up with him, but a nap sounded even better. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leading you to the shared room. You had to admit, Keigo was a fantastic cuddler. His arms were strong and warm, not to mention the way he wrapped his wings around you when the two of you were entangled.

You crawled in first and your boyfriend followed suit. Hawks quickly pulled you into his lap so that your legs were situated around his hips and arms around his neck.  You tried not to gasp when you felt his erection against your thigh. He was hard, like, really hard. It was strange to you that he wasn’t addressing that, though. You planted a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth and he affectionately nuzzled his cheek against your shoulder. Two large red wings circled around you  like a security blanket. It was almost like he was making sure you stayed with him. It was a little strange how the two of you were sitting, still. You expected he’d lay down like he normally did when he had a bad day, but he didn’t.

Obviously you weren’t planning on leaving anytime soon. Random affection was always nice. You couldn’t help but notice how stiff and rigid his shoulders felt. With one hand you began to gently knead at his shoulder and your other scratched his scalp. Usually that relaxed him pretty quickly. You were surprised with the little happy groan he released against your shoulder. Usually he wasn’t so vocal receiving simple shoulder rubs but you assumed he just really needed it. The horniness probably wasn’t helping either.

“You’re reeeaally tense, honey. Did something happen today?” You hoped he couldn’t hear the smirk in your voice when you shifted a bit in his lap.

Hawks’s hands that were wrapped around your waist tightened a bit and he shook his head, effectively burying his face further into the crook of your neck. You planted a gentle kiss on his shoulder, not missing the way he stiffened a bit under such a small gesture. This wasn’t like him at all. You just hoped he was okay.

Meanwhile Keigo was struggling to hold himself still at all. He couldn’t even think right now. He wasn’t sure how this quirk would affect him sexually though, and he was scared to find out. Besides, admitting he needed your help with something like this would only damage his ego-

A little swivel of your hips interrupted his thoughts, resulting in a muffled moan. Honestly he was surprised he didn’t cum just from that movement alone, but he guessed the quirk also gave him a fair amount of stamina so he was weaker for a longer period of time.

“Unusually cuddly today, aren’t we?”

He let out a frustrated groan into your neck as you moved to nip at his ear. His breathing was heavier than normal, and you swore you heard him let out a little whine as soon as you bit him.

You dragged a hand to the base of his feathers and lightly scratched at the roots. You felt him move beneath you and took that as an opportunity to allow your free hand to wander down his side and up his shirt. You couldn’t help the little smirk that formed on your face when his head finally tilted back as a defeated whimper left his lips. Keigo’s face was red, his brows pinched together and eyes closed.

A sinful look that you usually only saw when he climaxed.

“What’s going on, bird-boy?”

“Got... hit with a-fuck-a quirk.”

“Next time, tell me. I’m more than willing to help, just ask.”

He looked back down and up at you through his long dark lashes. 

“Doove, help me out... You can get me there, yeah?” 

Your hand that had previously just been exploring his abs began to trace his adonis belt as a little smirk formed on your face. He already knew your answer, but hearing him ask like that made you want to play along.

“’Course I can.”

Leaning forward you pulled him into a deep kiss, taking all of the control. He secretly loved it when you did that.  It was full of movement and passion but Keigo could barely keep up. He felt dizzy and hot. You pulled his hair and ground against his erection and he broke this kiss with a shaky breath and puppy dog eyes. That was the begging look. He needed this bad.

You motioned for Keigo to lay back and he did as told, resting his weight on his elbows. You positioned yourself between his legs and began to trace his belt, taking in how flustered he truly was. A few pieces of long blonde hair had fallen onto Keigo’s face. He was sweaty and red, breathing heavily and even chewing on his lower lip to calm himself. You jolted a bit at the realization that he was drawing blood.

“That’s gonna hurt tomorrow, babe.”

With a smile you removed his belt, tossing it to the side and palming him through his pants. He tried to act unbothered, but you saw the way his legs trembled and his grip on the sheets tightened. You wanted to hear him though, so without warning you yanked his pants down as far as you could. 

His black boxers already had a significant stain from precum at his tip. The fabric was straining because Hawks wasn’t the smallest guy around by any means. If anything he looked bigger that usual, probably due to the quirk.

You playfully traced his erection through the boxers earning a frustrated moan. You could feel his skin through the boxers and it was unnaturally warm. Hot, even. Looking up though you were met with the desperate eyes of your favorite horny bird and couldn’t really resist. 

If you had to guess he was probably pretty uncomfortable. When you abruptly pulled down his boxers Hawks quickly raised his hips to help you out. He didn’t give you the time to pull them father than his mid-thighs, dropping his hips stubbornly. The first thing you noticed was that his dick was...

red.

like.. red, red. And leaking.

“Like what ya see?”

You shot him an eyeroll.

“Still trying to be slick?”

“Always.”

For someone who was suffering from severe horniness he sure was sassy. That changed when you firmly grabbed Keigo and slowly pulled your hand down from his upper shaft all the way down to the base.

“O-Ooohh fuck!”

His eyes screwed shut yet again, head tipped back as a long, unfiltered moan spilled from his pretty lips. You swore you saw his toes curl in his socks.

“You sound so pretty like that,”

Reaching a hand underneath his balls you took the opportunity to massage them with one hand, using your other to thumb at his tip. His head lolled forward, eyes closed and breaths heavy. You gave him another long stroke, pausing to give his leaking head a good squeeze. He physically shuddered, and slowly lifted his head to look at you through strands of damp blonde hair.

“How long were you thinking about this today?”

“God..a- all... all fuckin day-”

He cut himself off with a stifled groan as you pumped him a few more times. Keigo was biting his lip again in an attempt to quiet himself, his eyes were heavy and almost vacant. He was already so fucked out and it was driving you crazy. You sped up your pace, leaning forward to reach a hand up the front of his shirt. 

It drove him fucking insane when you played with his chest, and that’s exactly what you did. Your hand found his nipples, giving one a pinch earning a sharp intake of breath.  You massaged the sensitive area, tugging at it a few more times. He twitched in your hand from the sensation and you let him go for a moment in order to crawl over him.

It was probably the first time you had seen your boyfriend look so speechlessly flustered. Hawk’s face was red, eyes unfocused and lips slightly parted. You dipped down, capturing him in a slow and hungry kiss. Eagerly he grabbed your hips and allowed himself to fall back completely against the bed. Large red wings shook around you.

His hips involuntarily bucked, hitting your crotch. It was fun teasing him a little but you felt bad. Doing him a favor you reached between the two of you, pumping him again earning a shaky moan against your lips. It was almost immediately that your boyfriend began to fuck your hand. His legs were trembling pretty badly at this point. In truth you weren’t sure why he hadn’t cum yet, but you got an idea.

Prying your lips from his own your began to leave a trail of kisses down his jaw and neck. The small sounds that escaped whenever you grazed him with your teeth were beautiful, but you figured he had suffered enough. He helped you take his pants and boxers completely off despite being pretty weak at the moment. Eventually you got to his hips and settled yourself between his legs. 

Instead of wasting time, you licked a stripe up the underside of his shaft earning a choked sound as his head hit the pillow. When you reached the tip you took careful time in using your tongue to prod at the hole. His hips bucked and a heavy sigh left the quivering man. He had been teased enough. You leaned over him and took the head into your mouth, laving your tongue over it in the process.

“Ohhh, (y/n)”

You wrapped a hand around the base of his shaft and relaxed your tongue, taking him in as deep as you could. What you couldn’t fit in your mouth, your hand pulled and massaged. He jolted as his member entered the wet cavern in your mouth. It was so hard to not fuck your throat but Keigo didn’t want to choke you. A long, soft groan left his lips at the sensation as he allowed himself a glance at you. 

“Fuck,” He loved seeing you like this.

You began to bob your head up and down, sucking him for all he was worth. Keigo was pretty like this, eyes nearly rolled back in his head, mouth open with soft pants coming through, brows furrowed. Your jaw was beginning to ache from the exertion but it was clear Keigo was close. 

You hummed around him and he choked on a groan, his ever so slightly rocking into your mouth. He was trembling and sweaty. The coil in his stomach was so tight he thought he might explode. 

“I’m so close, I’m so fucking close..” His voice was shaky and dsperate. It was like music to your ears.

You pulled all the way off of him and all the way down, firmly sucking on Keigo. His head hit the pillow and he let out a long, high pitched moan, body tensing and back bowing off of the bed. You rose with him, swallowing the ridiculous amount of cum that spurted from his tip. If this was what happened when he got hit with a quirk like that you couldn’t help but feel jealous. He flattened against the bed, gently rocking in and out of your mouth as he rode out his orgasm. Keigo propped himself up on one elbow and allowed his head to loll to the side. His moaning had turned into shaky panting at this point, hand now tangled in your hair.

Finally he finished. It was probably the longest orgasm he’d ever had and certainly the most satisfying. You pulled off of him and wiped your mouth with the back of your wrist, giving your boyfriend a satisfied smile.

“Feeling better?”

He shook his head with a light laugh.

“What do you think?”

[theangryjikooker]

get the basics out of the way

Who are you? A Jikooker who's angry. I come off abrasive and not everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe not anyone, I’m practically unpleasant. I’m not here to be liked, but if you want to be mildly entertained or looking to have your brain jiggled around by truth bombs about human behavior because nothing makes sense and you’re almost-angry and don’t want to rock the boat of your fellow brethren, I am but your mouthpiece. Hear me roar.

Why? Because a lot of Jikookers are getting annoying as fuck with their wild overanalytical tendencies and the shamelessness in presuming Jikook are ACTUALLY dating. It's not even a joke to them, it's like a religious belief, and it's fucking weird.

Do YOU think Jikook are dating? I think they’re close. I think their brand of closeness can sometimes be unusual or interesting from an observer’s standpoint, but I’m in no position to affirm or claim they’re dating. That is breaching asshole levels of arrogance.

Not all of us are obsessed and insane. Cool, then nothing I say should offend you. If you’re removed enough to separate reality from fiction, you would be virtually incapable of getting offended.

What is your goal? To vent and let my sarcastic rainbow stardust fly free. God forbid I share my opinions on Twitter and let the Jikooker hive mind ~*cancel*~ me because I don't agree with their bullshit all the time. Staying silent in the presence of zealots is intensely crippling, per Psychology 101.

You must be homophobic. If this is your knee-jerk response to critiques that don't align with your nonsense, you don’t deserve an ounce of respect. But if you persist, then it's clear you just want to fight. I aim to please.

Are you secretly a Taekooker? For the love of all things miserably holy, shut up. Just because I don't agree with every insane analysis that people shit out, it doesn't mean I'm a Taekook mole. Who even has that kind of energy and time?! I like them enough, but Jikook has the dynamic that warms the cockles of my dead heart. Ya happy?

(Some) Taekookers are just as toxic, why don’t you vent about them? Only if I have a reason to? I’m not as entrenched in their community as I am with Jikook, so I’m not going to be exposed as much to their content unless I unwillingly come across them. If I have to bitch about something a Taekooker said, I guarantee you that I didn’t seek them out on purpose, and I’m probably going to draw parallels to an equally absurd thing a Jikooker said. Both sides have toxic shippers from hell, but I’m not about to invite myself into the opposing wolves’ den for shits and giggles. I’m pissed off, not dumb.

Why do you have it out for (toxic) Jikookers? BECAUSE WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS. Or should be. Evidently, I have high expectations for humanity, but this has unfortunately been my undoing.

You’re very negative/your blog is negative. Toxic shippers are my villain origin story.

You’re a coward, let us know who you are. Wah wah wah, okay jikookluvr4ever (if this is an actual username, I’m sorry). As if the Internet isn’t a vortex of anonymity. Watch me roll my eyes straight out of my head if you missed the obvious sign of how much I do not care.

Are there any Jikookers you DO like? Yeah, but I won’t drag them into my bitch-a-thon without their consent. Even if I have nice things to say about them, my posts are inherently not going to be because I’m sick of being nice about Jikookers who are permanently armed with torches and pitchforks. Happy, positive blogs should stay happy.

What are your credentials? I have a friend of a friend who’s a native Korean and can testify on my behalf that everything I say has merit because they’re Korean and represent the entire Korean population with their interpretations of their language, cultural nuances, and politics, and they agree with me. It’s so convenient, I know, but trust me because they’re gay too. If that doesn’t satisfy you, I’ve also been married for over a decade and know SO MUCH about relationships because I’ve been married for over a decade and can vouch for every other couple’s relationship in the world because I’m MARRIED and have all the experience in the world, and wouldn’t you know it, my partner and I relate so much to Jikook in the early stages of our relationship, so I can tell you, FACTUALLY, that they are super duper mega real. For fuck’s sake.