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I FOUND MY WEED
it was in the trash can
#red rambles#i lost it on thursday#i probably threw something away while holding it and accidentally tossed it too#my house is much cleaner bc ive been looking so hard#folded a bunch of shit#threw shit away#organized piles of junk#found lots of pills i could kill myself with but i think. i think ill throw them away.#i want. i want to want to live. some day.#everything sucks ass rn but my cat has nobody else
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your cat dog person analogy is soooo true
sorry to go off rn but those m cr fans are just soooo bitter for no fucking reason. they think their morals have to align with their music tastes and find any sort of way to find any sort of dirt on other bands they don’t enjoy. example i constantly see callout posts for band guys that usually overlap with similar fans and music with m cr. look i know band guys can suck and obviously they shouldn’t be praised like saints, but these out of nowhere callouts for band dudes i see are always from m cr accounts. are you actually wanting to call out shitty behavior or do you just want points for being high and moral because youre the fan of the most unproblematic feminist anti capitalist band who’s never done anything wrong?
they always pick and choose on who’s worthy enough to even be liked on some level of m cr example i remember seeing posts about how the savior m cr were the only ones there for paramore 😫🥹 they are just so cool like that!! no other bands were there for paramore 😞
they act like they are the underdogs and how nobody understands them, but i constantly see several thousand notes about how cool the band is on my dash every so often
they will always call other bands cringe or saying they never understood the assignment with their newer stuff or how they were just never on their level of punk rock in the first place. i seen people say m cr has always made consistently good music unlike those other bands who are pop sell outs but bitch your band hasn’t put anything new out in a decade how tf do u know 💀
sorry to go off, but god damn it’s just music, stop, whatever happened to the emo trinity, you all use to love that, what happened
thank you bestie!!!! NEVER be sorry for going off i am always here for it!!! especially when it’s well thought out like this. cuz a lot of my opinions UNFORTUNATELY boil down to “mcr fans annoying” (OBVIOUSLY not including my moderate mcrtuals!!!). im putting the rest of my response under the cut cuz i also popped off but a tldr is: u are the best and i love u.
i absolutely agree with everything you had to say here tho…like why do these people act this way. like babes your guys are embarrassing sometimes too or whatever. we all saw frank having an overpriced garage sale of his trash or whatever recently. not really anti-capitalistic to me sounds like!! that’s crazy about the thing you said about paramore tho cuz it’s like. what does that even mean to be a saviour of paramore????? as if they need saving?????? that doesn’t sit right with me for SURE to imply that 😡
sooooo real about the underdogs comment cuz like. i think that mcr feels like the most popular of the “emo trinity” of times past. it’s not like i know this for a fact but i don’t know anyone else irl that is into fob that i HAVENT specifically got them into them!!! whereas i feel like i have so many friends who are into mcr but had never listened to fob until i sent them my playlists. and also another piece of info that backs it up is i’ve gone to 4 emo nights in the last year, and the reception of when they play the black parade vs like…sugar we’re going down is like a BIG difference. except for maybe the specific fob edition, the crowd i would say is duller during sugar like 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. also like i think you can tell by the dynamics on tumblr too, i feel like there’s like 20 fob girlies and every other bitch is an mcr fan here. we’re outnumbered like CRAZY. and the amount of times i’ve seen people be like “if mcr ain’t your fave from the emo trinity = 🚩” but people NEVER say that about fob. i think i had another example but lost my train of thought bc people are talking around me LMFAO
ALSO THAT SECOND LAST PARAGRAPH LMFAOOOO GET THEIR ASS!!!!!! literally it’s not that deep, it’s music, i get spicy bc i’m frustrated with fob being treated this way from people fob fans are allegedly supposed to be “making out with” or whatever. like i know i’m insane about my four men but they are like INSAAANE about their four men and it’s not in a cute way. as i always say, mcr and fob as bands respect each other and i GUARANTEE the mcr guys wouldn’t want fob to be treated the way these crusty ass mcr mainies treat them. god.
this was rambly, i have no idea if any of this was smart or good, but my main takeaway is to say THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!! and i always appreciate the support ofc bc i’m worried i’m going to be eaten alive by the mcr fans bc they have a history of eviscerating us.
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i’ve had a weird day so far and doing this is purely for distraction purposes just ignore me
1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?
home screen
and my lock screen is my gf
2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
oooohhh yeah. one of my first super gay crushes was on my 7th grade english & composition teacher Ms. Lawrence. i just recently unadded her on facebook bc i thought it was weird that i had her added but i’m a lil sad i did it bc that was a big ol phase of my life and i liked her soooo much ya know. i also had a big crush on this dorky geography/tennis/psychology teacher Mr. Whittlesey. he was so cute and goofy i love that man
3) What was your last text message?
i was offering to drive over to visit a friend and bring her comfort food bc her and her fiance just broke up :(
4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?
uhh i don’t really think that far ahead but hopefully i am happy and have a stable job and hopefully i’m with the person who i’m planning on spending forever with and i have a nice lil place. maybe i’ve even finally moved out of texas by then
5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?
honestly the mountains would be really nice. i really miss em and they make me feel really happy n peaceful and idk if my family and i are going to get to go or not this summer
6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?
idk one year i wrote “life” on a shirt and went around handing people lemons all night which was Extra as hell but it was also sort of iconic
7) What was your favorite 90s show?
friends
8) Who was your last kiss?
my gf
9) Have you ever been stood up?
no i don’t believe so
10) Favorite ice cream flavor?
mint chocolate chip
11) Have you been to Las Vegas?
no but my parents have been WITHOUT my brother and i!! i would love to go at least one time though
12) Your favorite pair of shoes?
i like my vans they’re comfy
13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?
no, that is one thing i would never do. esp since it was done to me and even though our relationship hadn’t been that serious, it still sucked
14) What is your favorite fruit?
watermelon and peaches and apricots
15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?
honestly? i maybe could’ve seen myself dating a few people here but only if they were here in person with me lol i'm not interested in online relationships at all so
16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?
long term relationships i ain’t tryna mess around rn
17) Do you smoke? If so, what?
i don’t but i would like to smoke weed at least once in my life just to experience it ya know
18) What do you do to get over your anger?
sing really loudly to music in my car until i am Tired or just vent on my private sideblog
19) Do you believe in God?
i’m sure there’s something out there but who knows what
20) Does the person you’re in love with know it?
yes
21) Favorite position?
laying the fuck down
22) What’s your horoscope sign?
aries
23) Your fears?
settling for less than i deserve or want just bc being happy requires work that seems scary or difficult or would hurt someone, scorpions, the ocean, walking sticks, horses, never being enough for anyone, not finding stability in my life
24) How many pets do you have? What kind?
i have four dogs named Sophie, Millie, Rusty Bob and Joey
25) What never fails to turn you on?
gettin soft kisses on my stomach n hips
26) Your idea of a perfect first date?
we do some sort of fun activity together, we have a nice dinner and maybe chill in our cars after and talk n maybe kiss a bunch depending on how the date went
27) What is something most people don’t know about you?
i can sing kinda well ?? maybe not anymore it’s been a while since i have but i used to be in musical theatre and they wanted me to be a lead role in the musical but i was too much of a pussy and i didn’t
28) What makes you feel the happiest?
having fun bein surrounded by people i love, also when dogs are so happy to see you that their tails wag their whole butt
29) What store do you shop at most often?
probably forever 21 or h&m bc i’m all about affordable clothing that’s semi-cute
30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?
i’m down for both
31) Do you believe in karma?
sure
32) Are you single?
nope
33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?
“i’m sorry, i understand that this hurt you and i understand why and i will work on not doing this again in the future” followed by actually working on not doing that again in the future is the better way to apologize, actually
34) Are you a good swimmer?
eh i’m okay
35) Coffee or Tea?
coffee
36) Online shopping or shopping in person?
in person
37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?
i kinda like being 20 i think it’s nice to be right in the middle
38) Cats or Dogs?
dogs
39) Are you a competitive person?
in mario kart maybe but generally no
40) Do you believe in aliens?
yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
41) Do you like dancing?
yes but i’m no good at it
42) What kind of music to you listen to?
i like upbeat alternative music generally
43) What is your favorite cartoon character?
eeyore
44) Where are you from?
texas unfortunately
45) Eat at home or eat out?
idk my dad’s home cooked meals have gotten pretttttty good but if i can’t have whatever he’s making then i wanna eat out
46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk?
i’m definitely more talkative and i laugh out loud a lot more
47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?
i bought myself a meal last night but today i’m gonna go out and buy myself some shorts and a bikini so i’m hyped for that
48) Why do you think your followers follow you?
probably from when i blogged about youtubers back in the day, also i hosted these selfie party things and shared everyone’s selfies to boost their confidence and so many people followed me bc of those
49) How many hours do you sleep at night?
not enough
50) What worries you most about the future?
not finding stability in what i want to do and not doing what i want and what would make me happy just bc it would be challenging
51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?
i’m learnin a whoooole lot of self love so maybe we’d be friends a lil longer than i would’ve been if you’d asked me this in like, february
52) Are you happy with yourself?
i mean? i’m happy with where i’ve come. definitely could improve but ya know. baby steps
53) What do you wish you didn’t know?
there’s too many things i wish i didn’t know to be honest
54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?
puttin other people first too much only makes you know and love yourself less
55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
the loft from New Girl
56) What’s your favorite Website?
runescape
57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?
getting rid of this fb account i had and then also this private twitter account i had that i sorta used to vent and also overshare too much lmao
58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
i went to NYC before christmas last year!! my family and i are hoping we’ll be able to go to Washington this year
59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?
probably my mug that says “i’m too sexy to be 60″ that i bought for like $2
60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
i reaaaaally like kung pao chicken but sometimes i like to get sweet and sour or sesame chicken and then i’ll get wonton soup and eggrolls and white rice and sometimes edamame ooooo my god
61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
idaho just so i could call myself a ho all the time
62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?
psychology or cinematography
63) Favorite kind of chips?
lays limón chips
64) Favorite kind of sandwich?
i really like the new york italian sandwich from Thundercloud
65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
dictionary probably??
66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
nope but one time i was carrying a balloon and a bee came up and stung my balloon and died and i was like oh
67) What’s your favorite form of exercise?
just goin for a walk is nice
68) Are you afraid of heights?
not heights but falling lmao
69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?
probably my film class junior year of high school. i was part of the school’s daily announcement team and we made intros for it based off of popular TV shows and we did this whole project about drinking and driving and my teacher was so great and i had a crush on every single boy in that class
70) What’s your favorite breakfast?
i love breakfast tacos
71) Do you like guacamole?
yes
72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?
i punched a girl in kindergarten but she didn’t hit me back and i pushed a kid over in spy camp in like fourth grade but he didn’t fight me back and i shoved a really stoned guy in a pit at a concert two years ago bc he was being a dick but he was too stoned to fight me back so what i’m saying is i sort of have tried to start a fight but nobody has taken one for the team and kicked my ass yet
73) What/who are you thinking about right now?
i’m thinking about how today sorta sucks but i feel like, too sad to go out and hang out with someone and do something about it so i am just going to stay here. maybe i will eat soon if i can get myself out of bed lol
74) Do you like cuddling?
it’s my faaaaavorite
75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
yeah
76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?
yeah lol
77) Favorite city you’ve been to?
hmm i really really liked Hood River, Oregon but probably mostly bc of the people i knew there and everything making it special. i loved Columbus, Ohio for that same reason too. i thought Ohio was gorgeous. i also loved Flagstaff, Arizona just because it was beautiful and quaint and i would love to go back
78) Would you break the law to save a family member?
depends on the family member
79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?
just a few weeks ago i was in my summer class and we had about 10 minutes until we got out and it’s like 1 so i was starving and ready for lunch so i was looking at my food options in the area and next thing i knew Siri screams into my quiet classroom “starting route to Raising Cane’s”, and everybody laughed and my teacher was Annoyed. and then when we finally got out i thought everybody had moved on and then the guy who sat next to me, WHO HAD NEVER SPOKEN TO ME ONCE, goes “have fun at Raising Cane’s!”
80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?
anything to do with women/POC/LGBTQIA+ rights
81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
one time i was showin off on my razor scooter while zoomin down a steep hill and i fell off and got scars all over my body and a young girl witnessed it but didn’t say anything or do anything she just left me layin there and crying on the pavement
82) Favorite day of the week?
thursday is nice
83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?
uhh i mean yeah i guess
84) How do you feel about porn?
i feel like it gives you really false expectations about what sex is going to be like when people watch too much of it
85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?
i’d like to be good ol pals with Mamrie Hart still
86) Who was your hottest ex?
my exes were all ugly
87) Do you want/have kids?
i think i would like kids at some point. at least one
88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?
yes
89) Do you get easily distracted?
yes sometimes
90) Ass or titties?
titties
91) What is your favorite word?
serendipity
92) How do you feel about tattoos?
i have three and i love em. go for it pal
93) Do you have any pets?
i have four dogs
94) How tall are you?
5′7
95) How old are you?
20
96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?
my hair, my eyes, my stomach
97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about?
yes i am v passionate about supporting other women!!!! and also about trying to be kind to everyone the most you can be bc i hear so many people spout rude things about people they don’t even know (esp when driving) and it’s like stop and listen to yourself lmao
98) Do you have trust issues?
a little bit but i’m trying to be more open and it hasn’t hurt me yet so
99) Do you believe in love at first sight?
absolutely not. that’s called infatuation
100) What are some words that you live by? Why?
two quotes: “anything that costs your peace is too expensive” and “let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier”.
i think the first one is important because i have a tendency of putting myself through a lot of shit to make other people happy and then i’m really unhappy and it’s just not a good way to live. i am really trying to learn this one. and the second one i think is important because being good to other people is a very important thing and i think you never know when somebody else needs that
#like if ya read#i started this yesterday and finished it today bc i didn't have the motivation to finish it yesterday! a new low!#nah today doesn't have to be so bad though#i am gonna go put on some nice music and have some coffee#long post#about me
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I’m OLD and bored 8/7/2020
1.Is there a boy/girl in your life? No! 2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? If it is Pajak then no i do not <3 3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” A cat, and oddly enough Cardi B 4:What’s something you really want right now? A stable job that I like :) 5:Are you afraid of falling in love? No, but I don’t want to. Relationships are soul sucking and not in the fun way. 6:Do you like the beach? No i do not like the beach one bit. Well, I like being in a beach house but I don’t like getting in the water. 7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes I have 8:What’s the background on your cell? It is the scene in Hereditary where he husband is on fire 9:Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine, Emily’s, Bri’s, lol I don’t really know um ? Probably like my aunts when I lived with her 10:Do you like your phone? Yes it work 11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned? NO! I wanted to have a fun summer and look for another job and think about studying for Grad School and etc etc but I was JOBLESS for FOUR months and bc of COVID we cant do a DAMn thing 12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? I have absolutely no idea probably like.. ? I don’t know lol 13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler 14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Emotional pain, lol it’s funny bc my last answer said physical I have grown up so much 15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Art Museum 16:Are you tired? Physically yes lol 17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact? For 16 years because it’s my little sister 18:Are they a relative? omg yes 19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? NO ! well maybe 1. 20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I have no idea bitch ! 21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? no 22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no 23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? 3 24:Is there a certain quote you live by? no! 25:What’s on your mind? literally nothing its kind of nice like not thinking 26:Do you have any tattoos? Yes, I have a sleeve so a total of like 9 tattoos i think idk 27:What is your favorite color? black 28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Hell if I know 29:Who are you texting? Nobody bc Emily and Janett are at work and Bri (F.) is simply not texting me 30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? yes 31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yeah of course its called i know things bitch 32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Ya of course i can tell michelle faith bri emily and janett everything 33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you? u know probably not 34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? my eyes are dark brown lol so no 35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? i dont care 36:Were you single on Valentines Day? yes ! 37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed? I honestly dont know the last person I kissed like i dont know if it was michelle or not lmao 38:What do your friends call you? Noah 39:Has anyone upset you in the last week? No ! 40:Have you ever cried over a text? Probably ! Yes when I was told “sorry noah i cheated on you last night” like who TEXTS that LMFAO anyways I cried 41:Where’s your last bruise located? hand from work 42:What is it from? oh from work 43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Bitch i want to die 44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with? leann 45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? my dr. martens theyre like 2 inch platforms lmao 46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? No lol 47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style? no omg 48:Do you make supper for your family? ew hell no i live ALONE 49:Does your bedroom have a door? omg yes 50:Top 3 web-pages? Facebook, Twitter, Youtube 51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Um, no all my friends shop about an average amount 52:Does anything on your body hurt? My back and my feet!! 53:Are goodbyes hard for you? They were sometimes. Sometimes it do be sucking when u say goodbye but didnt know it was the last :( 54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? I had the sudden memory of last summer when I fell down the stairs at work and spilled coffee all over myself and had to change 55:How is your hair? Short and not combed at the slightest 56:What do you usually do first in the morning? Pee! !! 57:Do you think two people can last forever? nope! 58:Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was 10 59:Green or purple grapes? Green 60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? um honestly i have no idea lmao we arent allowed to hug each other in these tough times! 61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? no ! 62:When will be the next time you text someone? I am texting Angel rn actually 63:Where will you be 5 hours from now? Asleep 64:What were you doing at 8 this morning. dead ass asleep 65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Nope ! 66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? this is gay yes all my friends but only because they are funny not because I enjoy seeing them 67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I did not hug anyone or kiss anyone today!! ! 68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? i literally was struggling so hard to go to sleep last night so I was probably really frustrated 69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? yes on taking exams normally except my last like ... 2 years of college were phenomenal 70:How many windows are open on your computer? 4- amazon, youtube, CBS and this 71:How many fingers do you have? 10 72:What is your ringtone? like the original one 73:How old will you be in 5 months? 24 LOL 74:Where is your Mum right now? Honestly I have no fucking idea lmao 75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? because they cheated on me, they were very toxic and manipulative and uncaring and i dealt with it for a long ass time and it literally going to kill me if I kept it up. Dealt with bad anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, I wasn’t eating, and I had to start taking medication and see therapy because of it literally it was the worst shit ever 76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No 77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Let me think of some- yes. Faith, Peter, Michelle, Bri, Emily, Janett, Angel, Anissa, I’ll still consider Keyla my friend too hehe . 78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? some guy named Chris 79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? No 80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? yes and I hated it
81:How many people have you liked in the past three months? 0 82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? no lol 83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? no! 84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Definitely MICHELLE and PETER. I would ask Bri and Emily to please not let me get that drunk 85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? yes 86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I literally work at a movie theater an nothing cool happens like the last almost 6 years of working there have been boring 87:Who was your last received call from? Leann asking me where my nametag was at in my car 88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? um yes 89:What is something you wish you had more of? money !! $$$ 90:Have you ever trusted someone too much? ya it was some dumb ass shit ! 91:Do you sleep with your window open? hell no i live in southeast houston is too fucking humid and hot for that shit i will get mold 92:Do you get along with girls? yeah lmao 93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? i dont even know i dont think so 94:Does sex mean love? hell no! 95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? nope! 96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? ew no those are trashy 97:Did you sleep alone this week? yes lol :( 98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? my friends what kind of dumb ass question is this 99:Do you believe in love at first sight? no ! 100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise? nobody ! if anything I smokey sweared with Michelle like 23 years ago
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