#fake dlc

[catcas22]

Literally Dreaming About the DLC

Had a disturbingly vivid dream about an Elden Ring sidequest, and decided to share it 1) to exorcise it from my mind 2) because there might be some potential here?

Content warning for implied dead kids.

Starts out galloping around Liurnia at night, on the lake just north of the Moonlight Altar. Hereabouts, I think:

Tarnished spots a large cluster of spectral animals ahead and investigates. In the center of the herd is a spectral dragon-hybrid, childlike but in a Ghost of Christmas Past sort of way.

The spirit appears morose and rather confused about her current state. When questioned, she drops a few poetically ominous lines about cold and dark, then mentions the name "The Hunter Michigain" [sic] before she clams up.

Tarnished goes to ask her buddy Kalé if he's heard any local gossip about this guy. Kalé explains that Michigain is a madman worshipping some kind of cold-affiliated entity. He sacrifices to said entity by kidnapping small children and leaving them down an abandoned mine to die of hypothermia (What the hell, my subconscious? I think I might have been drawing on SCP-4666 a bit).

Kalé then proceeds to recount an absolutely harrowing tale of how years ago, his three-year-old nephew was taken by Michigain. Against all counsel, Kalé's brother tried to go after the kid. Michigain broke the poor guy's legs and left him a few levels down the mine, close enough to the surface that those above could hear his agonized pleas for help. Kalé finally breaks and arms up to go spring the obvious trap.

Present day, Kalé recounts that he didn't get his brother or his nephew back, just a leg so mangled he can still barely walk on it. Kalé began the story trying to dissuade us from tangling with Michigain, but by the end of it he's ready for round two now that he has the Tarnished for extra muscle.

Kalé directs us to a set of ruins high on the Moonlight Altar, where we find the entrance to Michigain's mine. It's an absolutely hellish platforming puzzle, where we have to drop down level by level through the entire depth of the plateau, balancing on rickety mineshaft scaffolding while Michigain shoots at us with a gatling crossbow and his goons try to run along the rafters and tackle us off.

Thankfully, there are no visible dead kids, no environment-hazard live kids that we have to avoid friendly-firing, and no kids attacking us for whatever reason. There is, however, an omnipresent sound of sniffling and whimpering, always sounding as if it's just around the corner, sometimes louder, sometimes softer.

Kalé is with us. He moves at like 0.2 miles per hour due to the bad leg, and he'll die in a hurry if you leave him behind. But if you stick with him and draw fire, he's got a big hatchet and a box-fed dart gun, and he's quite effective at sniping the cultist highwaymen as they try to rush you.

Michigain looks like a sort of evil coureur des bois, wrapped up in layers of snow-dusted leather and fur. We never see his face. He never says a word. He fights with the aforementioned gatling crossbow, then switches to a pickaxe when we get close.

Before we fight him, we get a miniboss in the form of his two dragon-hybrid henchmen, both notably bigger and older than the spirit who initially tipped us off.

We finally face Michigain at the lowest level of the mine. The sounds of weeping children are loudest here. If we spoke to Ranni after triggering the quest and informed her of what was happening on her land, she shows up halfway through the fight the way Yura does for the Nerijus fight. She gives a monologue to the tune of "You merely adopted the dark, I was born into it" that I dearly wish I could remember verbatim, then wrecks the guy with Ranni's Dark Moon.

It was only in the process of writing this all out that I realized the two dragon-hybrids are definitely the specter child's parents, who sacrificed their own daughter for the sake of Michigain's cult.

[weird-person-935]

LOVER BOY~!

POSTAL BRAIN DAMAGE THE CLOWN!!

[Fake screenshot for Brain Damaged; Circus Pelouze!!]

Enjoy him my loves

[tes-trash-blog]

There are some parts I'm still a little iffy on, but the TL;DR is this:

The pre-DLC patch gives you one dungeon on the Frozen Coast, west of the College of Winterhold. The local Mages Guild chapter has been detecting some odd energies from the area and is asking the Undaunted to provide extra muscle. They'll need all the help they can get: The place is a long forgotten temple to Meridia, and the guardians within will defend the secret of the temple with their lives.

The pre-DLC quest takes you to Windhelm where you meet with a (supposedly) "politically neutral" faction of traditionalist Nords called the Heirs of Ysgramor. All claim to have some lineage back to the original 500 Companions, and are looking to a seasoned adventurer like the Vestige to help them with a little mystery involving an ancient map, a forgotten language, and the visions of a foe not seen since the Battle of the Moesring.

The first quest picks up where the prequel quest drops off: You follow the map to the new zone, which is, you guessed it, the home and shelter of the last Snow Elves on Nirn, and their fate now rests in your hands. There are two endings.

There's also a hot and aloof soldier Snow Elf with an Aetherial-prosthetic arm. Ideally the same markings will be made available to the users (maybe in crown crates? ideally as a quest reward/Antiquity find or something)

I cannot stress how hot this soldier needs to be. He's gonna sweep like that Cecil fella I keep hearing about. Does he have a tragic past? You bet your sweet bippy.

3 style motifs: Meridian Guardian (drops from dungeon), Heir of Ysgramor (WB daily), Av'Falmeris (delve daily)

There are children now. NPCs. They'll only appear if the zone quest goes a certain way, however.

[maiko-coy]

So I did a thing...

[velvetjune]

night springs dlc night springs dlc night springs dlc

[gumi-writes]

Sister Sabri has lived an extremely sheltered life. What fun activity would you introduce to them? 🔍

[notweirdjustrandom]

Part 2: The DLC

[Part 1: The main game]

Finished playing the DLC and made some comics based from some of my experience.

I love this dlc so much ❤️🥺

[just-saira]

Fake screenshot

Kieran doesn't have much knowledge about cell phones, so he always looks at Saira's phone with quite a bit of amazement.

Their photos together are in it!

[awesome-manatee]

Super Capitalist Bros. Ultimate for Nintendo Switch.

[roguesscribbles]

I never thought a fnaf game would make me cry but here we are

[catcas22]

An illustration from that fake dlc thing.

Probably going to do a few more, at least the ghost girl and the hunter.

[fake-destiel-news]

Source

[maiko-coy]

(Un)Official Superstar DCA Birthday Poster!!!

Only Available in the Lucky Stars Gift Shop, so don't miss it!! >wO*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

[kibibarel]

i somehow had NO IDEA The Teal Mask came out today and was like "why are people talking about the DLC that doesn't come out for another 6 months"

[starlightcleric]

Cal's adventures in Deadfire have returned after a couple month break! All she has left to do in the game is the Forgotten Sanctum and Ukaizo, so today we murdered our way through the Archives! We found a book for Llengrath, some imp spray, and had to turn the difficulty down a step after dying to the boss fight six times.

I perhaps do not recall the intricacies of max level combat after a break and just wanted to continue the story :P

[heironymus-lex]

The Masked Duke masterpost