#false friends! rating: not a himbo

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today’s article has actually been finished for a while, but we elected not to post it as it was just finished on the day of voice actor Billy Kametz’s untimely passing. Today we present a character much beloved in the meme community, the man, the myth, the legend: he is Ferdinand von Aegir.

Ferdinand is a playable unit character in Fire Emblem Three Houses is a playable character unit from Fire Emblem: Three Houses, released on the Nintendo Switch in 2019. As we are familiar, the basic idea of the Fire Emblem franchise is to develop units for strategic RNG combat – Three Houses takes this a step further and allows you to develop the same units over an extended period of time along straight paths or to make lateral jumps into unrelated classes. This is especially true with today's subject, for reasons we will discuss.

Originating as a member of the Black Eagle house from the Adrestian Empire, Ferdinand fills a few roles within the party and within the narrative. Notably, he is the self-proclaimed rival of future-Emperor Edelgard, and scion son of House Aegir which has until the events of the game been in control of the Empire from the shadows of bureaucratic red tape. He touts the value of nobility both in story cut-scenes and in his support conversations, and his character arc is often considered one of the better written ones in the game. As a unit, he is the house's resident Horse Boy, and boasts no proficiency weaknesses (a trait only shared by a handful of other units), meaning that he can feasibly go down any class path with little effort – the tradeoff to this his notoriously difficult recruitment requirement of Heavy Armor proficiency.

When discussing Ferdinand, it is easy to know where to begin: he is referred to by majority of the fandom as "Sunshine Boy", and for good reason! From the very beginning of the game, Ferdinand is brimming with enthusiasm and a do-good energy in everything that he does – who here isn't familiar with his proclamation of his name every single time you select his unit in combat? His stringent adherence to things he considers a noble's duty are what make him such a rich character (pun intended), and he often chafes at some of the callousness of antagonist characters, wanting to insert himself into the forefront of the action when possible. But it isn't just with aggression that he displays his kindness – what sets him apart from other noble characters in the game is his willingness and his eagerness to listen to his companions, and his respect for their opinions once voiced. His association with nobility equating to good-heartedness is so deep that it is even ingrained into his character design – after the timeskip he sports an incredible mane of long hair, and when it comes up in conversation it is revealed that he fell into a depression at the reveal his family's involvement in villainy and simply didn't cut his hair for five years.

This pure-hearted naievety doesn't merely present itself in a do-good attitude, either. Because he was raised to believe he can do anything (and, with the right direction, he often can thanks to his skill proficiencies), Ferdinand can often make blindly optimistic decisions that have the potential to bite him in the butt. In one instance after hearing that Edelgard, his self-proclaimed eternal rival, was able to kill a monster on her own, his sheer belief in his superiority causes him to attempt to fight two monsters at the same time, leading to Byleth needing to step in to save his life. Another instance of this is during a conversation with Dorothea, who revealed she does not like him due to his pride in his noble stature – in response to this, Ferdinand bakes her pastries to win her over, and she promptly points out that he did none of the actual hard work of harvesting or refining the materials, leaving him flummoxed. This author would not go so far as to call him unintelligent, as it is clear he has all the benefit and privilege of his station and the private education that goes with it, but it must be addressed that for much of the game, Ferdinand has a shallow, rose-colored view of the world, and does little deep consideration of any given situation unless forced. Big thinker, this boy is not.

But now we must get into Ferdinand's himbo-deficiencies. Although handsome, Ferdinand is not necessarily spectacular in his physical stature. His in-game body model is similar to many of his peers, if a bit slighter, and any buffness is not something that comes up in conversation. His base Strength stat is on the higher side, but his base Strength growth is nothing special. While it is true that he often becomes an invaluable unit in most playthroughs, much of this is the result of careful strategizing using the class system rather than his inherent talents (which actually focus more on speed and hitting quickly multiple times) - because of heavy reliance on RNG, it is possible that Ferdinand may need some hand holding and special attention for his stats to fall in line.

But we could forgive a good beefy Ferdinand unit his physical faults if it were not for his unfortunate lack in the Chad department. This is not to say that Ferdinand is not a valued member of his teams, but it is to say that his teammates have to do rather more digging to get to his soft gooey center. While the player has the benefit of seeing Ferdinand as a whole, from the beginning of his arc to end, and with all characters, many of Ferdinand's peers find him obnoxious, abrasive, and stubbornly reliant on his privilege. Indeed, many of Ferdinand's initial support conversations are outright hostile, well into A support range – and unlike other hostile character interactions, Ferdinand is mostly the recipient of this bad blood through actions of his own doing. He stumbles and gets off on the wrong foot, and spends the rest of his support chains making up for his poor first impressions. It is through these conversations that he learns and grows as a person, but it is also through these conversations that we see that Ferdinand's classmates...initially don't like him all that much. Where we the audience see our beloved Sunshine Boy, the rest of Garreg Mach sees that loud rich kid who tells everyone else to get good without the benefit of his good intentions.

In the end, the real Ferdinand von Aegir were the friends we made along the way – but he is no Ferdinand von Himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 15

If you’re able, please consider donating a few dollars to the Colon Cancer Coalition.

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you another standout fan-favorite, Rengoku Kyoujurou!

Please be aware that this article will contain spoilers for the Mugen Train movie (aka the first half of the second season).

Rengoku is a secondary character in the smash-hit animanga series Demon Slayer, first published in Shounen Jump. He starred in the Mugen Train movie, released in Japan in 2020, which ended up being the highest grossing movie of the year worldwide and the highest grossing anime movie of all time – the same footage was then reworked and rereleased as the first half of the second season in 2021. Like most of the hashira in the series, Rengoku plays a role of mentor cum elder sibling to the main trio of Tanjiro, Zenitsu and Inosuke, and his role in the third act of the movie appropriately raises the stakes of the series from typical jaunty shounen romp into gritty horror-drama.

As with all other Demon Slayers, Rengoku's profession is in his body. Though we never see him out of uniform, we can assume that he is of a similar body type to many of the other characters with a similar silhouette. Standing at around 5'9, he does not cut an imposing figure necessarily, although we are told – both in dialogue and through his own actions – that he is a master of his craft. In databooks, when his peers (considered the strongest of their profession) hold friendly competitions, Rengoku often ranks somewhere in the middle of the pack when it comes to physical contests. Additionally, he is described as having "above-average durability", and this is clearly shown during his battle with the demon Akaza, during which Rengoku continues to battle with the utmost of his ability despite breaking most of his ribs, losing an eye, his skull beginning to cave in, and eventually with his opponent's arm shoved through his chest. He even toughs it out for several minutes after the arm is removed to confer his last rites. Buff, not particularly, but tough? Nigh unmatched.

If there were to be any qualities in which Rengoku is absolutely unmatched, it is his disposition. This guy's really got it all: he is charming and friendly, he is encouraging and gregarious, and he is unfailingly kind. We see a decent amount of his internal monologue during his time on screen, and he rarely has a negative thing to say about anyone – including his opponents. Even when Akaza strikes at a fallen Tanjiro, spurring Rengoku to insert himself between the two, he continues to speak respectfully as he lets Akaza know under no uncertain terms that their ideals are too opposite and that they could never be friends. Another instance of Rengoku's unfailing kind heart is when he reports to his father, belligerent after having fallen to drink, that he has succeeded the Flame Hashira title. His father responds with aggression and disdain, and when Rengoku's younger brother asks how the meeting went, Rengoku tells him frankly – but rather than dwelling on his father's negative feelings, Rengoku reassures his brother that he loves him, and then spends the rest of the afternoon training him.

His kindness rubs off on other people, even taciturn fellow-hashira Giyu (who most of his peers do not like). He charms everyone around him with his effusiveness, his infectious goodwill, and his competence. In databooks and a filler episode, we are told explicitly that all of his peers hold him in extremely high regard, and this attitude reflects on screen. Although Inosuke chafes at the idea of being told what to do, he reflects fondly on an exchange wherein Rengoku appears in a flash just long enough to give him orders before disappearing, with a dreamy tone of voice and a sparkling filter over the memory. Though Rengoku probably had little time for fucking, it is clear that he is a Chad in the extreme.

But as much as it pains this author to say, Rengoku could never master that ancient art of Himbo Breathing Style, as his brain moves too quickly, he is too sharp. In databooks, he is described as one of the smartest hashira of similar calibre to the resident chemist, and we see his intellectual prowess come to life as he strategizes and investigates what is occurring on the Mugen Train. He is able to assess a situation quickly and thoroughly at a bare glance, and is able to react appropriately - after being unconscious and in a dream state for the first part of the movie, upon waking he takes in the situation immediately and within thirty seconds he has issued orders and gotten things under control.

Just like everyone else in the fandom, Rengoku does set this author's heart ablaze, but there's no himbo to be found here.

Total Himbo Score: 18

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today by request of @lost-disco-gay, we bring you Laios Touden!

Laois Touden is a main character and party member of the manga series Dungeon Meshi, first released in 2014 in Harta magazine. Dungeon Meshi is a fantasy seinen series that riffs off of common dungeon crawler RPG tropes, such as having adventuring parties comprised of different races of people in different combat classes fighting against monsters, collecting treasure, and resting in inns and pubs – the conceit of the series takes the life of an RPG protagonist and takes it a step further, begging the question "what do you eat when you spend months underground?" and answering with the delightfully Darwinian "oh you know ; )"

Laios is the human armored unit of his adventuring party, taking place at the front-line of battles with fellow party member Senshi, the dwarf barbarian. Together, the two serve as the main muscle of the group, as well as sometimes caretakers and monster-nomming advocates to the more squeamish Marcille and Chilchuck. It is Laios's curiosity and monster know-how which introduces the party to Senshi and to monsters-as-meals as a whole, and his role as the enterprising academic of the group is emphasized often and loudly.

As the knight-adjacent character in the group, Laios can be easily spotted amongst his adventuring party, standing head-and-shoulders above his dwarf, elf, and halfling compatriots, and filling the panels with his frame. This author would not necessarily categorize him as Beefy, especially when compared with the stature of characters such as Senshi or other races such as orcs, it must be mentioned that he is of above-average size for his race compared to other human adventurers that we've seen. While undoubtedly much of this bulk can be attributed to the armor, we would be remiss if we did not mention the core-shreddedness a man would need to heft around 80+ pounds of plate armor (not to mention supplies) every day for his entire life. The art style of Dungeon Meshi leans more cartoon-y, but we can imagine Laios's pecs and the planes of his back are a sight to behold.

Far and away, Laios's most impeccable himbo qualities are his kindness and, more importantly, his respect for the women around him. The story begins when Laios's sister is devoured by a red dragon, and he rallies the party to retrieve her immediately – as anyone would, but he never misses an opportunity to talk about how Falyn would have handled this-or-that situation with expertise and kindness, and often laments that he wishes he had been taken instead. And in his dealings with elf mage Marcille, Laios defers to and advocates her expertise (sometimes even in opposition to his curiosity regarding what a certain monster will taste like). Though it can be easy to mistake Laios as the leader of the party and primary protagonist, Laios rather more often seeks the approval of Marcille for larger decisions. And his respect for women doesn't just extend to the women he knows – in an end-of-volume short, Laios, while a captive of orcs, discusses how the two races are not so different, and his orc captor mentions that the women are nothing alike. Laios quickly disagrees, and begins listing off positive qualities of the orc women nearby, humorously backtracking when his orc captor begins to get the wrong idea that Laios is attracted to his wife.

But it is here that we must discuss Laios's himbo-detractors. Ever well-meaning, Laios unfortunately does not have the social acumen to navigate such interactions with anything resembling expertise. His mouth is frequent residency to one or another of his feet, and he stumbles over his words upon the realization that something he said might be misconstrued (which is with fair frequency). At some points, this is to the detriment of only his comfort, but at other times it leaves strangers and friends with a bad taste in their mouths. In one instance quite early on, Marcille is captured by a man-eating plant, and once she is released Laios puts his scientist cap on and asks her if the monster's mouth was comfortable (something he once read in a book). He does not live the comment down quickly. In another situation, attempting to recover from the existential gloom of wishing he had been eaten by the dragon instead of his sister, he light-heartedly comments that if she had not been eaten the party would not have gotten to eat a delicious spirit sorbet – to which the party promptly shuts him down. Affable in his buffoonery to us the audience, poor Laios does not have the makings of a Chad even amongst his loved ones (let alone the swerve required for a high Slut ranking).

And last but not least, his true defining characteristic: Laios is a sharp dude. Not only book-smart, which we see at least once a chapter wherein Laios lists off statistical facts regarding the monster-of-the-week (and the practical application of that knowledge, intellectually far beyond rote memorization), but we also regularly see Laios exercise a keen investigative mind, notably early on in the instance of discovering how the Living Armor moves and functions as an organism, and his sharp intuition moving forward regarding his new pet sword Kensuke. Another instance shows Laios and Chilchuck encountering mermaids, and before the sirens can ensnare the two Laios begins singing awkwardly and off-key, intuiting that someone who sings well would not want to be accompanied by someone who sings poorly – he's right, and in her disgust the mermaid swims away. Although socially awkward, it can sometimes be easy to miss that Laios contributes to the brains of the group, as well as the physical brawn.

We've plundered these depths, and unfortunately, that man is not a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 15

[isthatmanahimbo]

By anonymous request, today we present to you Mr. Incredible!

Bob Parr, AKA Mr. Incredible, is one of the eponymous Incredibles from the Disney movie The Incredibles, released in 2004, and its sequel The Incredibles 2, released in 2018. The movie details the lives of retired superhero Bob and his quest to get his groove back amidst a villainous plot, and his family's desire to find a place for themselves in a world that has left superheroes behind. Bob plays an important role not only because he is the main character, but in his depiction of a man going through his midlife crisis, and how he handles navigating working alone and incorporating the people he loves.

Even by the exaggerated standards of Pixar animation, Bob Parr is packing serious cake. Our man is towering and apple-shaped even at his lowest point, often having to bend down to stay in the frame when speaking to other people. And at his peak of superheroing, he's a force to reckoned with, able to take on one crime scene after another in quick succession, and even after his retirement we can see that he's still got the good stuff, making use of a trainyard as his gym. Man goes from a 50-inch waist to a 36 in less than a month. Mad respect.

Even less subtle than Bob's frame is his strict adherence to his moral code. His drive to protect the public stems from a deep well of kindness, and although in later years his desire to return to being a superhero could be argued to be rooted in ego and a nostalgia for his glory days (heavily implying a mid-life crisis), we see several instances of Bob's ferocious malicious compliance in his job as an insurance claims adjustor. He knows what the business side wants him to do, but he goes out of his way to be kind in a situation that most would find soul-draining. He's certainly not in insurance for the money.

Secondary to his desire to serve the public using his immense power is his love and devotion to his family - especially his wife, fellow retired superhero Helen AKA Elastigirl. During Bob's training montage, we see them behave as a loving couple, supportive and helpful and decidedly frisky. Man sure does love his wife (referring to her at one point as the perfect woman, and deflecting attempts at a fight by telling her how much he loves her), but what we don't explicitly see is how they met and fell in love. We do certainly get some hints, though, in the opening scene of the movie a young Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl collaborate to take down a crook and flirt with enough tangible chemistry that it makes the crook uncomfortable. It isn't stated outright, but even watching the scene once you just know that these two young heroes have absolutely done the dirty on a rooftop somewhere before they even knew each other's names. This is a kid's movie, guys.

Alas, we must come to Mr. Incredible's largest downfall in himbodom, and the reason for his rating today: his intelligence. It would be easy to mark Mr. Incredible down as a dumb lug, but it would be at your peril. Due to the movie's influences of classic golden age superheroes and noir detectives and secret agents, we see often and loudly Mr. Incredible's intellectual prowess. Not simply in defeating the mechanical monstrosity, which we could attribute to combat experience and instincts, but we also actively see him investigate and put together a convoluted plot to kill him. Although he has his moments (such as wondering why his ice-powered partner could not pull water from the air in a burning building), he's no dummy, and one could argue that Bob's largest weaknesses are his ego and his naievety. That sly dog even got his villain monologuing!

That man sure does incredible, but unfortunately, he is no himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 18

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we bring to you perennial fan-favorite Terry Jeffords!

Terry Jeffords is one of the main characters of Brooklyn 99, a Mike Schur and Andy Samberg project which aired on Fox in 2013, which moved to NBC for its final seasons from 2019 - 2021. Portrayed by Terry Crews, Jeffords is first the sergeant then lieutenant of the eponymous 99th precinct, and has variable roles throughout the series' tenure, most often filling the niche of mother hen adjacent to Captain Holt's stern father figure.

Given of course that he is played by Terry Crews, we can be assured that this man is beefcake central. Although it is often hidden under tasteful pastel shirts and ties patterned en vogue, Jeffords' physique is remarked upon at least once per episode, with the occasional episode centering around his stature. In one notable instance, he is unable to perform a undercover operation and must train Jake Peralta in his workout routine so that he may take his place – what actually takes place is a montage of Peralta desperately working to make up the lack in his physical prowess before giving up. This happens multiple times throughout the series. In another instance, Peralta takes a running leap at Terry, causing him to drop his coffee in favor of catching Peralta. When asked if it was any effort at all to hold up a grown man, Jeffords replies that it's about the same as holding a couple of grapes. Indeed, the entire precinct knows what's up with Sergeant Jeffords – and if it were not clear to the audience, we have regular reminders from Gina, for whom it is a running gag to attempt to get Terry to remove his shirt. Queen Gina speaking for all of us, as usual.

Now if you have been following this blog for a while, you will know that one thing that we value just as much as having the skill to make one's pecs dance (which we see Terry do onscreen multiple times), it is a family man, and Terry's a family man to a T. His introduction to the series and the first major character arc that he goes through has to do with the anxiety he feels as a new parent of twin baby girls - what would they and his lovely wife do if he were to fall in the line of duty? He overcomes this anxiety with the help of Gina and Captain Holt (and much departmental mandated therapy), but his love and respect for his wife and daughters shine through in every episode thereafter, and quite often carry over into all of his other relationships with the team. Terry could easily be played off as the stereotypical aggressive black man, but the show's narrative emphasizes that Terry's heart is as big as his muscles, and that he values his wife and all of the women in his life just as much as he does the yogurt in his fridge.

And it is clear that his comrades value him all the same. This author would hesitate to call a married and devoted man a slut (although we do learn that he and his wife conceived their children to Beyonce, so mad respect for that game), but we do know that Terry is a major Chad, having earned the respect of everyone in the 99 - indeed his team's reliance on his opinion of them often leads to some comedic miscommunications, such as when Amy and Gina discover that Terry is writing a childrens' book for his twins and that the two female leads are inspired by them. They bicker and argue over what this means until Terry delivers a rousing speech in the elevator about how they should come to trust and respect themselves a little bit more (which veers into charmingly awkward territory as the elevator ride only commences when Terry has finished). And Jake, main character that he is, has never had a bad thing to say about Terry that he hasn't immediately corrected.

If Terry is to have a flaw in himbodom, impeccable specimen that he is, it is that he is too intelligent. It would be easy to write it off as simply detective-savvy - the man is the sergeant of a major precinct in the largest local police organization in the world, after all - but we see demonstrated time and again that not only is Terry a genuinely intelligent man with a lot to offer in many academic pursuits, he's actually a huge-ass nerd. A notable instance is the case he insists on solving for the protection of a JRRT-GRRM-esque author that Terry has idolized since his childhood, using the book's lore and the author's own professional history to solve the case. Indeed, resident bookworm Amy indicates in one episode that if anyone in the precinct were to solve a particularly hard word-puzzle, it would be either her or Terry. Bold words from someone with more than a dozen organizational binders.

This author's ambivalence cannot be overstated when we say with certainty: that man is not a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 21

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today we have a shoutout to the villain apologist in all of us with Hidan!

Hidan is a mid-tier villain in the shounen animanga Naruto, first appearing in the manga during part II, and later being adapted for the Shippuuden anime in 2007. As a member of the Akatsuki, the main antagonist group for the first half of Shippuuden, he is presented as a major threat due to his status as an S-ranked missing nin, and indeed is the cause of the onscreen minor character death (something which happens fairly infrequently), leading to the culmination of a major character's individual arc.

Like many other members of the Akatsuki group, and indeed many of the overarcing antagonists throughout the series, Hidan touts one variation of immortality. Hidan's is a particularly interesting example in that it provides us with a rare glimpse at worldbuilding outside of the shinobi social structure, due to his heavy involvement with a religious group. And, indeed, where many other antagonists seek out a facsimile of everlasting life (and succeed to varying degrees), Hidan's case can be argued to be the only true, practical application of immortality as a narrative concept, which he attained through his religious practice.

Given that he and most of the cast are what are essentially professional athletes cum military forces, it's no surprise that Hidan is in peak physical condition, but Hidan's design takes it a step further and opts for his standard issue (generally shapeless and unflattering tbvh) Akatsuki cloak to be open from neck to navel, allowing the audience to get a better glimpse at what's going on. And while he is not as visibly stacked as a handful of other characters, Hidan still has a respectable amount of beef about him, being visibly thicker about the chest and arms even without the cloak than other characters in his age range. And given his fighting style, he's no stranger to battle damage even removing the modicum of modesty the cloak offers, often leaving at least one tit on full display. Cover them up, slut.

Now you would think that his status as a highly-ranked criminal in a world where intelligence gathering is paramount would say something about the inner workings of Hidan's keen mind, but it takes only a few words out of his mouth to disabuse you of the notion that there is more than one brain cell bouncing around in that head of his. His idea of a strategy is to run real fast at the problem shouting as loudly as he can – a real act-first kind of man who bristles and argues with even the slightest suggestion of any kind of tactical thinking. He doesn't need any high faluting tactics, he'll just use his Jashin-given gifts to headbutt his way through any problem presented to him. Jashin has really blessed this beautiful idiot.

Unfortunately, although we have got a good start going for us, Hidan variates heavily from the template and it only goes downhill from here. To begin, under no circumstances could one assume that Hidan is, or indeed ever was, a kind person. While the rest of the Akatsuki (with a couple of notable exceptions) have tragic and heartrending backstories to garner sympathy from the audience, we are told in no uncertain terms that Hidan was always a dick. Not merely a serial mass murderer, but genuinely a dick – when he graduated from his own village's ninja academy, the village began to lean heavily into tourism for its notorious hot springs. Rather than simply allow mom-and-pops to crop up and for tourists to enjoy the national landmarks, Hidan loudly said "Fuck that" and promptly joined a cult and wiped the village and all of its inhabitants off the map. Like, I know we've all been there, tourists can be annoying, but big yikes bro.

And if you were thinking that among the criminal organization Akatsuki, Hidan would have earned the respect of his peers for his ideals and his capabilities, well, this author has a surprise for you, as Hidan can only be described affectionately as a group punching bag. Even amongst a group of hardened criminals, they find Hidan's attitude to be grating and obnoxious, and when he is taken down by a protagonist we are given a glimpse of the remaining Akatsuki members mocking Hidan and his partner, an undercurrent of relief in their jokes about not having to deal any longer with the Zombie Combo. Hidan's got all the looks of a Chad, but it's a façade. A fachade, if you will.

Needless to say, it's three strikes and you're out, buddy. Rest in pieces, Hidan, you are not the himbo this fandom needs.

Total Himbo Score: 11

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today’s recommendation is coming to us in the form of a popular fan-favorite: All Might!

All Might is the superhero alias of Toshinori Yagi, who is a secondary character in the popular animanga series My Hero Academia, which first began printing in Shounen Jump in 2014, with the first episode of the anime launching shortly after in 2016. He has several roles in the series, beginning in chapter 1 wherein he takes the form of the Untouchable Godlike Good as the Symbol of Peace for hero society – as the series progresses, he settles into a more muted role as the protagonist's mentor (and sometimes father figure). For those who are familiar with the character, it will be obvious that we will be focusing on All Might's role as the Symbol of Peace for this post.

To begin, this man is stacked. His muscles have muscles. He stands at an impeccable 220 cm, or 7'3 – even in this world of incredible body types, he towers over almost everyone he meets (with only a scant handful of exceptions). We learn in the third episode that he weighs 255kg, or 560 pounds – and this is after he jokes about having lost weight. When All Might is in the frame, he takes up the entire frame, and cuts a clear silhouette by virtue of his calves alone, good lord.

As a superhero, and indeed the penultimate superhero in this universe for several decades, it is clear from every boisterous line out of his mouth that his heart is full of love and justice. He wants the world to keep on spinning, he wants the average person to be able to live their lives in peace and comfort. He wants hearts to lighten at the mere sight of him, radiating warmth enough to power the sun. And he wants villains to quake in their boots – why? Because he is here!

But now we get to his pitfalls – at least, insofar as himbodom goes. To start, although All Might may project a dunderheaded façade, it's just an act. The man is still shockingly intelligent, able to carry on meaningful conversations with people of breathtaking intellectual prowess, and able to think tactically and strategically to coordinate his hero work, and later into his career as a teacher. There are only so many hours a day, after all, and All Might is able to make use of all of them.

Speaking of which, our Symbol of Peace certainly did make use of all of the hours in the day, even to the detriment of his social life. Obviously, there are children around the globe who look up to and idolize him; fellow heroes respect him for his power and his effectiveness as a symbol. But unfortunately, all of this came at great sacrifice to his humanity, and we are informed in no uncertain terms that Toshinori Yagi, the man, hasn't made a meaningful connection in a long time. He has perhaps two friends who would never in their right minds attempt to emulate him, let alone to confide their personal lives to him. Does All Might fuck? The answer, unfortunately, is a resounding and clear-cut no. Such is the sacrifice a hero must make.

As much as we would love to see the Symbol of Peace make his pecs dance, All Might is not the Symbol of Himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 17

[isthatmanahimbo]

Today's post is sponsored by this author's love for Thighs.

Kouga is a secondary character in the shounen animanga series Inuyasha, first published in Weekly Shounen Sunday in 1996. Initially an antagonist, Kouga's role in the story developed rather quickly into a rival for Kagome's affections, spurring the bond between she and Inuyasha ever-closer, in addition to his hatred for overarching series villain Naraku. Kouga challenges the narrative in his appearances, begging the questions of "what makes a good leader" and "is it possible for humans and demons to coexist" and "good lord look at his legs".

Obviously, we must address that last part. By and large, Kouga's physique is not much more impressive than many other shounen characters by virtue of the medium and the mangaka's somewhat minimalist style. He does, however, boast additional muscle definition over the majority of characters, including series main Inuyasha himself. Far and away his most notable characteristic is his costume design highlighting this, featuring traditional chest- and shoulder-pieces, fur leg-guards, and a fur kilt. The fur kilt is very short, appropriate for Kouga's preferred method of both conveyance and battle, and also appropriately we the audience get constant reminders of the tone on Kouga's thighs. Just look at 'em.

We learn from his earliest appearances that Kouga is the "young lord" of a wolf demon clan, and his naivete is apparent in his leadership choices. Rash, hot-headed and arrogant, Kouga bull-rushes into situations, relying on pure instinct and the power of the Shikon Jewel shards he carries to bail him out if he needs it – often leaving his packmates behind. Indeed, it is the naivete and lack of strong leadership that leads to the slaughter of the rest of his clan, and Kouga's single-minded ploy for vengeance which drives his appearances in the narrative moving forward from that point. We do not ever see him working over strategies for battle or diplomacy, and time after time he cheerfully rushes off into the sunset with nary a thought in his head except for how nice Kagome's lotion smelled that day.

His love for Kagome cements itself fairly early on in his narrative arcs as a defining character trait, sometimes to his detriment, but more often than not he benefits from her presence in his life, and strives to be better through knowing her. His estimation of women, and other people at large, balloon immediately after fighting alongside her for the first time, and his transition from bloodthirsty maneater to dopey lovesick side character is marked, especially in the anime where he is woobyfied even further by the introduction of selfstyled "fiancee" Ayame.

What must be addressed, however, is despite these influences on his personality and overall outlook, is that Kouga could never be truly referred to as a kind man. He learns the value of relying on other people, and even lends a hand toward the betterment of the world, but the greater good is never at the forefront of his mind or his heart. His focus is purely on himself at all times, and it is this selfishness that drives his character arc and prevents him from joining The Group fulltime to save the world. Even on smaller scale, closer to home Kouga has multiple episodes of the anime focusing on him realizing that his two remaining packmates, Ginta and Hakkaku, have feelings, and that they often cannot keep up with him.

Your powerful legs can't get you out of trouble this time, sir.

Total Himbo Score: 15

[isthatmanahimbo]

Coming in hot today with another recommendation: Herlock Sholmes!

Herlock Sholmes is a secondary character in Great Ace Attorney Adventures and Resolve, part of the Ace Attorney series released on the Nintendo 3DS in 2015 then rereleased in a collection titled Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for the Nintendo Switch in 2021. It is clear that he is meant to be a reference for Sherlock Holmes, the infamous detective, and indeed his name in the Japanese is actually just Sherlock Holmes. He presents us with the archetype of the Sherlock Holmes character – the genius auteur investigator who cares deeply about murder in order to feed the monster of his ADHD or other neurodivergency. In a rare twist of the archetype, however, Herlock needs maybe a little more help to get from A to B, vis-a-vis the logic train.

When the player first meets Herlock in the second case of the game, he is perched upside-down on a hutch desk in the middle of a murder scene on a freighter boat, and he only gets better from there. This man hangs from light fixtures, he'll clamber into a display case he most certainly does not fit into, he'll get right in the player character's face with his glasses, take one look at the world around him, and smugly pop off with the stupidest, most unhinged tirade you've ever heard from an adult man. And it's your responsibility, as the player character and fledgling lawyer, to translate that cocaine fueled mess into what could be considered a coherent thought. Bless him, Herlock Sholmes notices when something is afoot, but he does not put the story into context at all. If this man's brain could be visually represented, it would be one of those puzzles that uses pieces from another puzzle to make such monstrosities as a rearing mustang steam train. Truly baffling. I love this idiot.

And considering his calling in life is to be a crime scene investigator, we cannot pretend he does not have people's best interests at heart. It would be a stretch to call him truly altruistic, but he does use his powers and his fame for good in a remarkable way, and he is known for being on the side of the angels. This is especially apparent when he, at quite a young age, adopts the daughter of his friend and cares for her as his own. You know we like a family man here, and Sholmes certainly loves and protects his family, just as they love and protect him.

But now we've gotten to the part where we have to talk about Sholmes' downsides. To begin, though he has people who could reasonably be called friends in the form of Ryunosuke and Susato, and even perhaps in Gregson and Gina, it is clear from their interactions with him that it is not necessarily out of admiration that they interact with him, but out of grudging respect (though more often, it is because Sholmes has butted his head in and everyone else is too awkward to demand that he get out). And we see, as clearly as any other iteration of the Sherlock Holmes character archetype, that his focus is intensely on the case on the problem on the puzzle. In between the rush of a case and sulking in the fetal position on the couch, we can safely hedge our bets that Herlock Sholmes does not fuck.

And finally, what is arguably the hallmark of a himbo is his silhouette – does Herlock Sholmes dazzle me with his impressive stature? Well...he certainly is something to look at, in his full deerstalker-trenchcoat getup complete with steampunk goggles, but when he sheds the coat, his physique is, er, shall we politely say unimpressive. Given that we are told in the narrative that Sholmes frequently skips meals when he gets a little fussy, it's not terribly surprising that he looks as though he could be caught unawares by a stiff breeze.

Indubitably, my dear friends, this man is not a himbo.

Total Himbo Score: 12

[isthatmanahimbo]

This is one that this author sees a lot in various circles, so let's set the record straight once and for all about the Mandalorian himself, Din Djarin!

Din Djarin, aka Mando, is the main character in the Mandalorian, a Star Wars spin off property released on Disney+ in 2019. Digging back to Star Wars classic roots, the Mandalorian is an incredible mixture of space western and classic samurai tale, pulling from such inspirations as Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name and the manga series Lone Wolf and Cub. It details the story of a single Mandalorian who works as a bounty hunter and discovers a lost child, for whom he then takes responsibility and goes on a quest to reunite the Child with his kind to fulfill the creed of the Mandalorian people, stopping along the way to work small odd jobs.

Now, if this were your first time seeing a Mandalorian in the flesh, you'd be forgiven for being intimidated, because there's no flesh to be seen – as a people, Mandalorians live their lives covered head to toe in armor, and the helmet offers a distinctive silhouette. So while Din himself may not be a very beefy individual, as we do see people Mandalorian and not who are larger than him, he does get points for basically carrying a hulking mass of pure Beskar steel with him everywhere he goes – and as he mentions, it's not just the armor. Weapons are part of his religion. You can safely assume he's carrying around 100+ pounds of deadly on any given day. Beefy, not particularly – strong? Definitely.

Once you get past the armor, literal and metaphorical, the most striking and memorable trait about Din is his kindness. He tries to pretend that he isn't, of course – he's got a reputation to maintain – but he is polite and deferent in his speech, and ultimately a pushover when it comes to running errands for strangers. He might give an exasperated sigh, but yeah, he'll do whatever needs doing. And if he needs to call in further assistance, he's got well enough connections to do so – and he's always happy to step down and let a woman do the heavy lifting, literally or metaphorically, if he knows she's better suited for the job than he is. He just works here, man.

And boy, does he leave a trail of satisfied customers behind him. He has built up a vast history of jobs and connections, and you wouldn't be able to call in a job reference for this guy without the other person gushing about him. He doesn't show much consistent interest in romance, but this is only by virtue of the weekly storytelling model – the narrative makes it clear that if Din could settle down, he would. And his peers respect and love him for it. He might not be a Slut, but a Chad he certainly is.

But alas, this is not the himbo we are looking for, for Din is also incredibly intelligent and resourceful. This seems to be the largest misconception about him in himbo spaces, but although Din is hopelessly out of his depth when it comes to a supposedly long-extinct secret society of sorcerers, he is shown often and loudly to be competent and capable in every area he requires. He maintains a working understanding of numerous languages and cultures, a high-level knowledge of weaponry down to components and techniques (as he may need to clean or repair the tools on the job), and a more than functioning knowledge of engineering and mechanical repair in order to keep his ship running. To say absolutely nothing of his spatial and bodily awareness, or presumed knowledge of various species anatomy for medical care. With his huge breadth of knowledge and experience, Din's no dummy.

Total Himbo Score: 16