#fatws pt 4

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Broken Wings || Pt.5

Sam Wilson x OFC Ada Marks

Summary: A 6-8 part mini series following OC Ada Marks as she rekindles a relationship with Sam but can they really get past their long history for a fresh start or is it better to just let go. Set after FATWS with Bucky and Sam being friends. Warnings: 18+ only, NSFW, violence, warfare, sexual themes. || Series Masterlist || Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 ||

Afghanistan, 2013

“I don’t like this,” I said for the third time as Sam and Riley worked quickly to pack up the camp we had set up. “We should go together.”

Riley sighed to himself but wouldn’t say anything because it wasn’t in his nature to go against an order despite hating when we were separated too. “How long until they get here?” 

“Chopper will be here in an hour,” Sam said as he sat on my rucksack so I could zip the overfull bag closed. “You and I fly in at 2300.”

“What about me?” I rose with my hands on my hips.

“We have been over this babe, two of us going in is already a risk,” he said, shaking his head. “You’ll be on standby, Ada.”

I wasn’t happy with the strategy but arguing would get me nowhere, but I would damn well make sure I was ready and waiting should one of them need me. 

I rolled up my mattress and tied it up with twine before tossing it out of the tent and onto the growing pile of belongings. My uniform was the only thing left unpacked but I wouldn’t change into it until the tent was dismantled. Taking it down would break a sweat and the last thing I wanted was to sit in damp clothes on an hour long flight back to base. 

“Incoming,” Riley announced as he heard the chopper blades while we were rolling the last of the canvas tent up tight. 

We quickly shoved the tent into its travel sack and covered our eyes as our transport arrived, kicking up dust in its wake. Two fairly new soldiers jumped out and helped us pack the chopper with our bags before we strapped in and we were off. The desert terrain fell away as we climbed higher and higher and the peace I had felt camping with my boyfriends fell away with it. 

“We’re home,” Riley said as he shook my shoulder and woke me up. 

I rubbed my eyes and tried to lift my head off Sam’s shoulder but his head was heavy on top of mine and I nudged his side so he would wake up. He lifted his head and looked around, forgetting for a moment where we were before stretching and waiting for the skids to touch down.

“58th in the house!” A loud voice called out over the sounds of the engine turning off and we all smiled at the 48th Rescue Squadron leader. 

“You know how it is, Fischer, call in the big guns when shit gets real,” Sam joked as he pulled him into a hug and clapped each other on the back.

“Only until they share your tech with the rest of us,” Staff Sergeant Ian Fischer retorted with a laugh. “Go on, everyone’s in the bullring.”

I gave Ian a hug and Riley shook his hand as we walked past on our way to the building that Sam was already disappearing into. Riley slung his arm over my shoulder as he caught up and I felt the pre-mission jitters and excitement begin to build. I had no idea that just 12 hours later my world would come crashing down.

“Alright, Falcon and Eagle, you have Starling for backup but we want to get in and out under the radar so the less Exo-7s out and about the better.” 

We all nodded as we stepped into the straps of our suits and began the quite lengthy task of securing our jet propulsion wings to our backs. We checked each other’s buckles to make sure they were snug before stepping out into the cool evening air. I pushed my ear comms deeper into my ear to make sure it wouldn’t fall loose when I flew and checked that everyone could hear each other as well as command central. 

We reached the clearing where our take off point was and I stood between Sam and Riley, holding one of their hands each in mine. We had seven years of pararescue missions under our belts, four of those with the Exo-7 wings. It still never made this moment any easier. 

“These things we do,” Sam said as he squeezed my hand.

“So others may live,” Riley followed.

“58th until the end.” 

We never said I love you. We never said goodbye. It was an unspoken rule that had never been broken. We stepped away from each other and expanded our wings before engaging the jets and taking to the skies. Two yellow dots were blipping in my helmet and those would be the two lights that guided me home, Falcon and Eagle. 

"The target is 8.6 miles northeast of Dabay. Uploading coordinates now,” Air command notified us through our comms before a red dot was added to the map in my helmet. 

"Eagle, take the right flank. Starling, stay out of range behind us."

We followed Sam's direction and I broke away as we reached the mountains that crashed steeply into the valley where Khandil was in hiding. I watched as Riley barrel rolled to the right and they both dove down into the dark depths and out of my sight. The air was still as I hovered in place ready for any sign of trouble but there didn't seem to be any. I was beginning to think the intel was wrong as their positioning beacons showed they had landed in the enemies territory unscathed. 

Suddenly machine guns fired in rapid succession and I heard Sam call out to Riley as he located Khandil. Their beacons moved hastily around my helmet as they manoeuvred their way about of the valley they were trapped in and Sam confirmed he had Khandil in his custody. Unable to remain in position any longer, I set my thrusters to full speed and raced over the terrain to reach Sam and Riley. 

Bullets hit my wings as I swooped at the insurgents and took some of the heat away from my men before I saw an alert for a missile heading straight for me and I tucked my wings in close, dropping from the sky. I felt the heat of the explosion above me and looked up to find Riley had protected me from the shrapnel and other projectiles. Opening my wings wide I blew a thank you kiss to Riley before heading back to Sam.

"Starling, get out of here," Sam called out as I reached him. "Eagle, let's go!"

We both looked back as we banked sharply to avoid an RPG heading towards us and I turned to see another RPG coming from behind.

“RILEY!”

Time slowed as the horror unfolded before our eyes. He had a 50/50 chance of banking left or right to dodge the RPG that passed us but he chose wrong. His right wing curled in and he turned right into the second RPG that was coming up behind him. Fire and flames engulfed him and there was nothing that I could do as he disappeared in the explosion. 

Fury flooded me as I looked down at the men scattered around the valley walls, from here they looked like ants and those ants took Riley from me. Sam was calling out to me, ordering me to leave but I couldn’t just let them get away with what they did. I pulled the comms piece out of my ear and dropped it as I tucked my wings in and plummeted from the sky. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The drive from York to Washington DC was quiet. The only voice that broke the silence was Riley as he pressed his nose to the window and watched the scenery pass us by, questions flowing from his lips quicker than the water of the Potomac River Sam drove along. Trying to ask him to have quiet time was futile and I had given up by the time we crossed that state line into Maryland, opting to try to sleep instead.

“Mr Wilson?” Riley asked as he leant into the middle of the seat and found Sam looking at him in the small mirror.

“Come on little man, call me Sam.” He smiled. “What’s up?”

“What was my dad like?” 

I fought the urge to open my eyes and kept my head on my rolled up hoodie that was doubling as a pillow for the drive. 

“Shouldn’t you be asking your mom about him?” Sam was obviously uncomfortable with the question and you heard the leather seats creak with his shuffle of movements.

“I think it makes her sad when I ask.” 

Sam’s sigh was barely audible but you knew he did it. “He was brave and kind and always put everyone else first. He was like you, protective of your mom.”

Riley chewed his lip and returned to looking out his window before gasping with fright. I bolted upright and leant across the seat to look out his window and spotted a man flying towards us with a rudimentary version of a wingsuit. 

Grabbing Riley, I tucked him under my arms and slipped a pair of control gloves over my hands to activate my wingsuit that was in the cargo hold.

“We’ve got company,” I growled as I noticed another man out my window and grabbed my son’s face. “Stay low, Ry. Hear me? Just stay low.”

“Ada, what are you-”

I pinned Sam with a stare through the rearview mirror and interrupted him, “What I have to, get Riley out of here.” 

Wind whipped around the car as I opened the door and dove out, Riley and Sam’s shouts sounding behind me. The back of the car exploded as my wingsuit tore through the metal and erupted out of it before they slammed into my back and saved me from hitting the asphalt road. 

The thruster kicked in almost immediately and I was thrown forward with the power much stronger than the previous marks had been able to pull. I almost screamed in exhilaration but it was the fear of my son that kept me focused on the two targets I had my eyes on.

It was mere seconds later that I was swooping past the car and the men with the inferior suits were too slow to avoid my sharp blades that slashed through their own wings before they could draw their weapons. One crashed heavily into the highway and came to a rest unmoving but the other managed to crash into the grass verge and lifted his weapon towards Sam’s car, at my son. 

I could never make it there in time but my wingsuit could. There was no time to think about myself as I flicked my wrist and fell from the sky as my suit disappeared from my back. A scream of pain tore from my lips as I landed badly on my already sore leg, my skin shredding along the road as I rolled but it was all secondary to the relief I felt as the wings wrapped around the back of the car, protecting its occupants from the bullets. 

The harsh sound of metal dragging across the ground had me look away from where Riley was safe and I found the man who had attacked up aiming his gun at me. It wasn’t the first time I had stared down a barrel but it was not something that ever got any easier and I felt the blood rushing in my ears as my heart raced. I didn’t want to die but I couldn’t risk bringing the wingsuit back and leaving Riley unprotected, he was my world. 

“My boss wants you alive so he can kill you himself,” the man spoke in Pashto. 

“Khandil can kiss my ass,” I spat back and jutted my chin to the road behind him. “If he wants me, he’s going to have to go through that.”

The man’s eyes widened as he looked over his shoulder and saw Sam throw his vibranium shield. The metal crashed into his back, breaking the wingsuit he wore and throwing him off balance and off aim, right into my fist that rendered him an unconscious mess on the asphalt. 

“I told you to look after Riley!”

“I wasn’t going to leave you, again,” Sam said as his voice broke and he scooped me up as gently as he could. There was no stopping the memories that assaulted me as I inhaled the woody scent of his cologne and my head found its way into the curve where his strong shoulders met his neck. It was a place that always felt like home, and it still did.

“You really outdid yourself,” he said with a rather disbelieving chuckle as he reached the car and you closed the wingsuit up with a swish of your hand. “It’s like you’re trying to one up me.”

I barked a laugh as he slipped me onto the backseat beside a worried Riley who I immediately wrapped in my arms as I cocked an eyebrow at Sam. “Have you looked in the mirror lately? Nothing can outdo that costume of yours.”

[cjsinkythoughts]

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day. 

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.” 

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. 

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

~

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

~

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

[amarriageoftrueminds]

Fave stucky fics?

Easy Work for Easy Pay 

(to me this is the perfect fic, my most re-read, really satisfying -- office chemistry! killer plot twists! spot-on characterisation! apart from like 1 line and some truly awful music choices I wouldn’t change a word.)

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail series 

(my most-reread series; post-WS AU fluffy screamingly hilariously funny and moving comedy in which Bucky is following Steve around DC while Steve is, he hopes, following him around).

The Sweetest Spark 

(kind of a sugar-daddy!Steve/student!Bucky AU except not because it's just that people think Bucky's a gold-digger when he ain't... one of those fics that makes me stare into space mentally writing fanfic of the fanfic, if that makes sense.)

Lemon Meringue Lies 

(obviously I’m a sucker for cook!Bucky, and slowburn with a side of mutual pining and friends-to-lovers, who isn’t? Steve being made to realise how much he takes Bucky for granted is also, in this case, literally chef’s kiss.)

These Streets series

scalding hot, NYPD BeatCop!Steve / reforming!hood Bucky (Bottom!Steve !! But they also switch???) Not to be read in public.

Misdemeanor 

(shrunkyclunks comedy; cop Bucky accidentally pulls over Cap Steve and has to ask for his license... which Steve never bothered to get) 

In the Deed the Glory series 

(former high school sweethearts become rival football players in college’ AU) is bizarrely compelling, really really gripping; part has an appearance from a fanon Isaiah Bradley, obviously pre-FATWS which makes Pt 4 in particular, er, awkward. 

Carbs and Conversations 

(modern Hockey au! Bucky is still an assassin but in the sport-sense.) 

War, Children 

(shrinkyclinks, it's that rarest of things a skinny!Steve modern AU I can actually stand -- and god the modern Vet!Bucky/homeless!Steve hurt/comfort… One for a rainy, melancholy day… it'll stay with you.)

Love Stories for Tedious People 

(is an interesting Doctor!Steve/PTSD!Soldier Bucky AU with a realistic feel and a rare plausible not-annoying past Sam/Steve; has lines of dialogue that haunt.) 

Life of the Party 

(BAMF childrens’-entertainer!Bucky mistakes Steve for a fellow superhero impersonator; LOL funny.)

All The Angels and The Saints 

(examines the effect on stucky of Steve’s politics/religion; has lines of dialogue from Bucky that just really stuck with me.)

20th Century Limited 

(I think of this as the ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ AU. Steve and Bucky can hear/communicate with each other when they’re ‘on ice’. Extra points for Bucky and Hulk being immediate Bros.)

Dishonor series 

(comedy in which they meet during the Battle of Manhattan, and Steve has the most Awesome case of foot-in-mouth syndrome imaginable, I mean, talk about meetuglies, truly it’s a miracle he and BAMF Sergeant Bucky ever get past the enemies stage.)

My Working Week and My Sunday Rest 

(holy shit this fic, dat slowburn! talk about shivers down the spine! exactly articulated bottom!Steve in a way I’d never really been able to put into words.)

Golden Age of Illustration 

(An AU based on the real life of J. C. Leyendecker, where Bucky is sent home before the train mission, gets back into art, becomes an add illustrator and Steve is his model/muse. Illustrations included!)

The Fool In the Mirror 

(Bucky is support omega to alpha Steve; hits every note I want in a fic).

The World's at Stake 

(soulmate mark au shrunkyclunks, angst with a happy ending because they both think their marks mean they’ll never meet)

Pull Apart the Dark 

(Steve is transformed into a toddler who will only let Bucky look after him; trouble is, Bucky is still recovering from being TWS and everyone else is freaked out.) 

bucky barnes: tsa employee extraordinaire 

(shrunkyclunks semi-comedy; mad costumed comic-book villains keep coming through Bucky’s airport on the way to attack Captain America.) 

Here's a Conspiracy 

(pre-war and post-war shrinkyclinks au. This fic. This fic Destroyed me.) 

And It Won't Be Too Much 

(swoony romantic modern au with iirc marine Cap Steve and event-planner Bucky who’s cheeky to Col. Philips; this fic is the reason a certain Haley Reinhardt version of a song is in my stucky playlists.)

 The Match Game 

(modern au Steve’s a hit-it-and-quit-it type who decides he wants more with new-to-his-building Bucky ... who only wants a friend-with-benefits situation.)

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side 

(“Holy shit,” says Steve. “I’ve been knocked out twice by the same guy.” BAMF!Bucky shrunkyclunks Bucky is a lamb in this one.)

Lucky Seven 

(shrunkyclunks more BAMF!Bucky !!! as the hot Russian mechanic who works on Steve’s bike but has a Dark Past, he is again a lamb.)

Put You on Something New 

(modern au frat bro Steve and football star Bucky hnnng the straight boy ending up sucking dick kink I didn’t know I had, oof!) 

Through The Looking Glass 

(Bucky is transported to a mirror universe where there’s a Steve who carries a sword and is... not quite right. This epic fic ripped my guts out and stomped on them; I mean, literal tears, streaming down my face. Thank god the ending has a goosebumps-style pick-your-own version or I might’ve Actually died.)

Drive It Like You Stole It: A Bodyswap

(Steve and Bucky are accidentally body swapped and get stuck babysitting the infuriating Peter Parker on a roadtrip to go sort it out. Had me weak with laughter and I have never identified more with Bucky’s Extreme Rage.) 

[lokiphobiia]

sharon carter fatws ( 1x3 ) icons pt 4. like or reblog if you save/use.

[there-must-be-a-lock]

Graphics Masterpost

SPN x Ao3: ships / seasons / characters 1 / characters 2 / random 1 / random 2 / random 3 / random 4 / Sam / search histories / quotes

SPN x lyrics: Welcome To The Black Parade / Mama pt.1 / Mama pt.2 / Handwritten - Dean / Summertime / Kill All Your Friends / The Kids From Yesterday / The ‘59 Sound / Sign Of The Times / Old White Lincoln / Wherever Is Your Heart / This Is Gospel / Animal / Blinding Lights 1 / Blinding Lights 2

Marked graphics

SPN icons: 1

SPN x quotes: miles to go / dangerous / duct tape & safety pins / hell and back

SPN x tarot: the fool / strength / temperance / the star 

SPN x parallels: The One With The Sturgeon Face / The One Where They’re Walking... And They’re Walking... / The One With All The Hugging / The One Where They’re Home / The One With Brothers Being Brothers / The One With The BM Scene / The One Where Somebody’s Dying Again / The One Where They’ve Got Work To Do / The One With A Single Man Tear /  The One With Brothers Being Brothers, Part 2 / The One With The Bitchface

Sam x PTSD: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 

Sam x faces: profile / 12x02 / 13x21 / apocalypse world / 7x17 / Jump The Shark / parallels 

MCU x MCR: Bucky Barnes

Marvel x quotes: The Crunch

Marvel x Ao3: FATWS 1 / FATWS 2 / MCU 1 / MCU 2 / Hawkeye Comics / Hawkeye Comics 2

Marvel x Cards Against Humanity: part 1 / part 2 / part 3

CM x Ao3: ships / characters / quotes 1 / quotes 2 / random 1 / random 2 / Cat Adams / Emily’s return / episodes 

CM x quotes: Fire 

Icons: Criminal Minds / Sebastian Stan / 90s Hawkeye

Art: Dark Side Of The Moon / Mamma Mia / Carry On / On The Head Of A Pin / We Need To Talk About Kevin / Falling (Harry Styles)

Fic Fan Art: Things We Lost In The Fire / Seasons / Dear Mr. Fantasy / Sensation