#feel free to like poke me for more details/explaination if something doesnt make sense or is stupid lol

[your--isgayrights]

You're like one of the only ones that I feel like can answer my question. But anyways, do you think there is a connection between Bathes framework(death of the author ig) being so prominent in HSY's arc and how it relates to JHY's, YSA's, JHW's arcs and their experiences as a woman. Like ik there was some gender stuff goin on with HSY when she was a guy apostle. But I feel like womanhood isn't as explored in her arcs like it is with the three other characters but I feel like you can somehow make a connection 😭 sorry if this is a tall order.

Anon babe I'm very flattered and I'll try to make some connections here, but if someone who is actually woman has something to say about this please come on in and feel free to tell me to stfu 😭😭. Like obv just from living in Society I have concepts of womanhood/gender dynamics/lived experiences of misogyny but also I need you to understand that identification with and appreciation of a personal identity of womanhood is something that I as a person have consistently been repulsed by my entire life. Like the act of wanting/choosing to be a woman is something I will never be able to fully understand or experience.

THAT BEING SAID I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW PARAGRAPHS HERE IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK.

TLDR;

authorship is creation outside of motherhood and therefore queer.

narrative control is queer, and therefore disassociation from traditional gender roles comes with increased narrative control.

the narrative of ORV equates Barthes' framework with the "reality" of a reader that has to be challenged by the compassion and love of another person experiencing their own "reality" and authorship of a story is an attempt of that act of impossible communication.

Like ugh ok wanna be clear that I'm not like shim saimdong on the 50,000 won style trying to equate womanhood to this role via like bioessentialist weirdness, but I think that the most obvious connection with authorship and the female characters in orv is the idea of creation that like is sort of tied with motherhood via a character like LSK. Bc yeah if you look at the two big authors writing Kim Dokja's life, it's literally his mom with her prison book and then also Han Sooyoung later on, right?

This is kind of fun to me bc I have a friend whose like actually a lit/film major type person and writing an essay about queer tragedy in film and we were talking about queer narratives and ideas of artificial conception/creation ala Frankenstein, the "unnatural birth." In Western lit tradition this kind of thing has obvi been like connected to horror more modernly, but I think in like early Korean lit (me saying this as a guy who has like only read the Samguk Yusa so 🌾 of 🧂) the connection between unnatural birth and the divine is less complicated and not treated as the same kind of perversion that subversions of nuclear family models have been by narratives in lit largely influenced by a majority religion that values that structure of subservience in the West.

(example of unnatural birth that is fun fine and normal in Samguk Yusa: the first king of Silla is born from an egg and so is his wife and like she even has a beak until it falls off and like Kylie Jenner lip cup style gives her bbl lips /hj.)

The act of authorship can then be seen in/equated with this unnatural birth, or maybe a better term is divine birth. Authorship/narrative control in orv is also shown to be something inherently queer bc like again if you think about LSK and HSY, there is, like you mention Anon, a conflict between the societal role of Woman and becoming an author. Like if you've read feminist lit you are probably already been knew about this but to put it in terms of a referenced text from ORV, there are foundations of an equation of womanhood with motherhood from those very beginnings of Korean lit. The bear mother is a story literally about becoming a woman and that good old neoconfucian influence can be seen in how the path to womanhood for the bear is to completely obey the instructions of a male deity without questioning or straying. She is then "rewarded" by said make deity when they wed and she becomes the mother of Dangun, the deity founder of Korea. This neoconfucian framework of 'womanhood' places emphasis on subservience to higher power and motherhood.

It is notable, then, that the act of becoming an author in Lee Sookyung's case is literally the very action that abandons her child. The act of authorship is juxtaposed from reality, as Kim Dokja's lived experience is retold transformatively and then believed to be true by others and by himself to some degree. Authorship is something that alters the 'natural' and 'real' and divests the author of their subservient societal role. (Abandoning your child #justqueergirlybossthings /j)

So then, let's look at female characters in ORV and their relative relationships to narrative control and femininity. YSA is a good contrast to HSY here, because as you note Anon, reading ORV HSY seems more divorced from womanhood than YSA, but why is that? In all likelihood, it's because YSA takes the place of a certain type of female character that often exists in the stories of this genre, a female colleague who performs her role much better in the original society than the male lead before an entry into the world of the story. Something to also note is, how, despite not being a "character" of the original WoS, YSA is particularly tasked with a role of passivity/narrative inactivity that commonly befalls female characters in the modern day but most notably is exemplified in East Asian lit by the monk Tang Sanzang in Journey to the west. A character who motivates the actions of the main character but is often thwarted in attempts to directly change the narrative and put into inert states (TSZ is told to go somewhere by bodhisattvas and follows their instructions and always gets kidnapped by demons who want to eat his hot cicada body or w/e, YSA studies languages, has her contract renewed, takes the subway when her bike is stolen, gets yanked around by Greek gods and prophetizes herself into a backroom library she can use to peer into the mind of God, etc.) In some ways, bc YSA tends to follow 'the rules,' because she appears to have less awareness and control of the narrative, she also seems to fall more easily into the societal category of "woman." Put directly in contrast with Han Sooyoung, whose perspective on the narrative as a creator leads her to show less care for the lives of those in the story and who actively kills many of said characters without remorse, perhaps contrary to the role of complete creation an comparison of motherhood and authorship might imply, narrative control is power both to create and destroy. If you're in a daoist mood, you could draw a taegeuk and equate this balance of divine birth and unnatural death with the balance of androgyny between feminine and masculine, the balanced whole then being considered a cosmic whole/the absolute/something powerful/ the author, etc. (Singshong being a couple who wrote the book together kind of also adds another layer of context to this in that like in the daoist/Confucian tradition of heteronormativity man and woman together are a complete form, if all cosmos can be divided to binary then the collaboration across that binary recreates the whole, an androgenous true state of creation)

Again, in this way, narrative control/authorship is something that inherently breaks reality and in a heteronormative world this force can be coloured as inherently queer. Thats probably why are transgender girlies JHY and YJH are so significant in that their experiences of womanhood are ones that directly defy the predestination of narrative. There is no direct reveal of YJH having been the Punisher, because it is something beyond narrative understanding, beyond the rules of the universe that Kim Dokja defines as the Reader. JHY's identity directly contradicts the design of the author/creator and reader alike, her choice in her personal gender identity directly defies narrative and in that way gives her agency outside of the realm of "character," her queerness being something that gives her transformative power and control over her reality.

In the matter of Barthes, I would say I'm a bit biased, because I find reading less interesting when the context and the intent of the author are not considered. In fact, I kind of resent that death of the author is sort of a literary standard in that a lot of modern English courses will discourage essays that use terminology like "what the author is trying to say could be" and instead encourage only the use of text, because on the whole I find it less interesting to look at words and not imagine the soul behind them. In some ways, I view death of the author as a selfish framework that emphasizes only the reinforcement of a reader's worldview and desire for escapism in text that doesn't have to be connected to the real world, a delusion. Not to say enjoying a book means one must love the author, but I feel that every reader will naturally have their own (mostly one sided, I suppose) relationship to the author within and without the text, and denying that fact denies personhood to the art form in some ways. In this view, I think one of the reasons I love ORV so much is probably that some of its themes seem to very much agree to this sentiment. Authorship and readership are often equated to this act of "impossible communication" between people. ORV views authorship, the sharing of stories, as this way to impossibly try to understand the life of another person. Part of what gives the text of WoS and then ORV itself so much meaning in the end is the fact that we know who wrote them in the fiction and for what reason. Knowing the author is actually phrased within the text as pivotal, foundationally important, the only understanding that can lead to the salvation of the reader in the end, his knowledge of the person he can recognize in the author's words being himself and the fact that the author's understanding means that he is in some way loved and and known by others who love the same story. When the HSY who wrote WoS is shown to literally cease to be, trying to reach the reader and failing to be seen, it's a scene that makes one cry, a tragedy, a loss. Death of the author is not a preferable frame of analysis in ORV, only connected by a morose sense of inevitability defined by a consumerist literary world that holds said framework as truth.

But again, if death of the author is "reality, " then the ending of ORV is one where radical joy can be found in the breaking of said reality. It's pretty notable from a queer framework that the "happy endings" in ORV all occur in non-nuclear family structures, the 999th turn adopting the OD, KdjCo wanting to live in a house together, etc. Also notable that, because that is a dream that KDJ cannot see as "real," the absolute power the reader is given to determine the world keeps it from happening. In this way, death of the author and absolute power of the reader is the final boss of ORV as HSY and the characters batten down the hatches and scream into the void "YOU ARE NOT ALONE, YOUR REALITY IS NOT THE ONLY ONE, LOVE THAT EXISTS FOR NO PREDETERMINED PURPOSE CAN BE YOUR SALVATION."

It's also kind of important to me outside of the text in the understanding that this story, though obviously formulated in the context of trying to appeal to a wide audience for commercial success, is also one that comes from people who experience our reality trying to tell us that love is the answer to it all. Young people today in SK are very likely to at least know someone who has attempted in the past and you know there are some pretty similar statistics if you happen to have friends involved in queer communities here in the US. Because of my own experiences, I've always felt that distinct lack of recovery narratives in fiction, as past generations tend to see it as either so outside the norm or so clearly regulated to certain situations that it's portrayed as obviously wrong choice by a weak person or the obvious right choice by a brave person and ORV is one of very few stories I've seen not try to make a value judgement on it, but rather illustrate exactly the reasons why KDJ wants to die, why he doesn't value himself, and saying please, please stay. There is so much love for you here even though I know you haven't seen it yet. And an understanding that these ideas of love and happiness are something some people in certain situations can only be shown proof of in the stories of others. And I feel like understanding of that context is what makes ORV so important to me as a Reader, even if I know very little about SS aside from that, the fact that they exist as people living in this same world is still important to my enjoyment of the story as a reader.

Ok, sorry, this became more about narrative queerness than death of the author/womanhood but again a lot of my views of womanhood exist in like, opposing it? Lol. Tho my experience of manhood also exists in opposing a lot of it, I just personally enjoy tussling with it much more than I ever would have with womanhood I think lol.

[midnightsxxvi]

Want You More

Summary - You want a guy from work to get the hint you aren’t interested. Of course, instead of just using your words, the only solution must be to get your dear friend with benefits to be your fake boyfriend for the night.

Pairing – bucky x rogers!reader (friendswbenefits); fem!reader (u can be adopted idk it doesnt go into detail.) It’s an au - avengers who??

Warnings – SMUT. 18+ ONLY; penetration, hand stuff; uses of pet names (baby/peach); semi-public sexual shenanigans, & alcohol use.

A/n – Reader and Bucky go out with “work friends” but i have no clue what your work is. Most of the mentioned characters are scientists, so maybe something sciency but feel free to get creative. Also, pls note, I ALWAYS write y/n’s character without any physical description. Reader is written as fem, but pls know no matter ur identity, you are welcome here sweet pea.

W/c: 7k

───※ ·❆· ※───

His calloused right hand grasped your hip, holding you steady as you moved up and down on top of him. The left hand, colder and smooth aside from the slim divots where the metal shifted, held your own hand. Two different methods of holding you steady, and two very different feelings. He held you like a dance, although the music completely different.

‘Bucky,’ your words were breathy and light as the feeling of him overtook you.

‘Fuck, Baby,’ his tone was the same, just his voice lower and scratchier. Your moans increased at the sight of him fluttering his eyes shut, his mouth parted as the pleasure flooded his senses.

So badly you wanted to lower your face to his and press your mouth against his pretty lips. It wasn’t the time though. He seemed content in the moment and you sometimes feared initiating a kiss in the midst of it all would turn him off of it. So instead you watched his face as he reacted to the feeling of having you ride him like this.

You let yourself get lost in it and the pleasure within you only built up more and more until you couldn't take it anymore and your own eyes closed. You groaned, ‘I’m so close.’

Although you didn’t see it, he looked up at you again. He was full of awe, watching you lose yourself above him.

‘Go ahead, baby,’ he growled, his hand on your hip tightening. He sucked in a breath as your movements increased, your hips rolling against him unforgivingly. ‘Fuck.’

You made a sound only described as a whimper, your head dropping back as the feeling overtook you.

‘That's it,’ he grinned, ‘Cum for me. I love feeling you like this. Fuck— I love seeing you like this.”

In the last moment, you looked back at him, and the absolute hunger in his eyes drove you over the edge. The twist within you let go. He watched your face contort as you came on him, quickly following and releasing after you. The feeling of you clenching around him, the absolute vulnerable expression on your face and the addictive moans you were letting out were all he’d ever need.

“Fuck,” you fell gently against his glistening chest, letting your mouth fall against his collar bone.

The two do you spend a few moments catching your breaths.

“Wait, y/n?” He said between breaths.

“Hm?” You let out against him, still obsessed with the feeling of him inside you as you were coming down.

“What were you saying about tomorrow?”

Your brows furrowed and you took a moment to get off of him, stretching as you rolled onto your back. “That’s what you’re thinking about?”

“You’re going out with work friends… and bringing Sam?” He squinted trying to remember the conversation before he was pushing you onto his bed only a little while ago.

“I haven’t asked him yet.” You got up to go to the en suite, leaving the door open while you cleaned yourself up and put on some clothes again. Calling out of the bathroom, you continued explaining, “That weird guy at work just won’t stop flirting with me, so Kate told me I should make up a boyfriend so he’d leave me alone.”

“What about reporting things to HR?”

You scoffed, poking your head around the corner, “I don’t have enough against this guy. I don’t think they can fire him for flirting. I don’t have, like, tangible proof of it or anything, so it’s just my word against his, yunno? Could be easily written off as him just being friendly.”

You heard Bucky grunt as you were putting clothes on, and you figured that maybe that was the end of the conversation. However, he ended up walking into the bathroom behind you, discarding the condom and cleaning himself off. This was all a very classy moment the two of you were sharing.

He bumped his bare hip against your clothed one so that he could wash his hands. “That’s that guy who asked you to the Harry Styles concert? Brad? Bailey?”

“Oh yeah! Bruce!”

“Can’t believe you missed out on Harry Styles,” he shot you a teasing grin in the mirror.

“Buck. That’s not funny,” you frowned, bumping his hip again. “I didn’t want him to think I’m into him. I have a hard time outright telling him I’m not interested because I don’t know how to bring that up without making things awkward! He’s not like a weird guy or anything, I just am not interested.”

“So, Sam’s gonna be your fake boyfriend?” He raised a brow.

“Yes. I think he’d be fine with it. I’ve told him about Bruce before and he’s actually suggested having a fake partner.”

Bucky was frowning while drying his hands.

“What?” You questioned. His grumpy face was always quite adorable and you held back from smiling.

“Can’t believe you have to make up a boyfriend to have this guy leave you alone.”

“Being a woman is hard,” you shrugged. “I also could easily tell him no, I just haven’t.”

“But it’s not your responsibility,” he stared back at you in the mirror, the blue of his eyes bright under the vanity light, “He should get the idea. I dunno, if I was flirting with a girl for months, I’d eventually get it in my head that she’s not into me. Especially after turning down concert tickets to Harry Styles.”

He cracked a smile at the end there, clearly thinking he was quite the jokester. You rolled your eyes yet grinned back. “I lied and told him I didn’t like Harry Styles.”

Bucky’s laugh had his eyes lighting up and he turned to you, “Y/n, oh my god. I can’t believe you have to lie to this guy!”

“It’s fine! I’d rather lie than hurt his feelings!”

He shook his head, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine!”

Bucky nodded with a little smile on his face, thinking to himself. You often wished you could get an insight to what he was thinking. He kept a lot of feelings to himself, and was not exactly the best communicator. Still, whatever arrangement this was between you had been working. At the beginning, several months ago, you both had decided on no strings attached, and set a few little rules, but after that, that was it for him. The rules were set and he didn’t have much more to say on that. If he wanted to say more, he would.

“Yunno,” he turned to look at you, “Ask me.”

You weren’t certain you knew what he was implying. “What?”

“Ask me to come tomorrow. I’ll be your fake boyfriend,” he seemed pretty proud of this idea, “Yunno, peach, I’m kind of insulted you didn’t think of me first.”

Truthfully, you had thought about asking him. You’d thought about it quite a lot, really. However, you decided it could be too much, just like sometimes you thought kissing him and making sex more intimate than it needed to be would be too much. There were many little things about your interactions and times spent with Bucky that you wanted to become a little more, but he never said anything, and so you figured he wouldn’t want them.

You faltered, looking at him to try to ascertain if he was serious. “I can’t ask you that!”

He looked puzzled. “Why not? I already know Kate, so I’d feel comfortable coming along. I also think any PDA would look more natural with me than it would with Sam.”

Your expression did not change. “What?”

He chuckled and grabbed your waist, pulling you closer, “C’mon, peach. Imagine Sam tryna make a move on you. Seriously, imagine. I think you’d both end up laughing. That man cannot act.” You grinned, knowing he had a point.

“Plus,” he leaned closer, his lips brushing against your ears, “Imagine my hand on your thigh all night, hm? I’d make sure Bruce could see that, and I’d kiss you right in front of him. He’s gotta know you belong to someone else.”

You shuddered at that, your hands subconsciously falling against his bare chest.

He laughed lightly and pulled his head back enough to look at you. “You like that.” It wasn’t a question.

“Kate’s gonna make fun of me.”

“She knows about all this though, right?” By all this he meant your friends with benefits situation.

“Yeah, but won’t that make it weirder? She’s never seen us act… like that.”

His smile was contagious and he knew you weren’t completely turned off by his idea through the look in your eye. “This could be so fun.”

You bit your lip. “Okay, I guess. Are you sure you wanna come? It’s at this pub downtown. I think like six of us are going?”

“Fuck yes, I want to come,” his nostrils flared and he looked at you with a joking astoundment as though this was obvious, which it kind of was. He didn’t say things he didn’t mean and he never said more than he had to.

You pretended to consider. “Okay. I suppose you can be my date.”

He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, something he only did sometimes, and swiftly moved back into the bedroom to get dressed. “You’re not gonna regret this, peach.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

Bucky was always respectful and kind to you, but you’d never really thought of him as a gentleman until he offered –no, insisted, that he pick you up for Friday and even be your DD. He even walked to your door when coming to get you, telling you how beautiful looked even though you were dressed rather casually. If you didn’t know it was fake, you’d probably swoon. He himself was also quite casual, but he sure had a way of wearing his black jacket.

You’d been frantically updating Kate on where you were at because you were nervous to arrive before her. She was a great security blanket when it came to you being around Bruce. Sure, you had Bucky tonight, but you weren’t sure if he’d sense any nerves from you.

She had arrived first, luckily, and met you two outside. Her eyes lit up when she saw you, and then she made a strange face when she realized Bucky was holding your hand.

“Look at you two,” she smirked as you approached. “Quite the lovely couple, I see.”

“Don’t make this weird,” you hushed although you were grinning. “Cute outfit.”

She had on her cutest smile. “Thank you, y/n/n. Cute hair.”

“Cute shoes.”

“Cute makeup.”

“No you.”

“No—“

Bucky was giggling, “What about me?”

She pretended to look confident, her chin high as she looked him up and down. “I suppose you have some lovely facial hair today, Barnes.”

You grinned up at him and teased, repeating her, “I suppose.”

He just chuckled and tugged on your hand a bit. “Let’s get inside. I wanna meet this Bruce guy. Also, I’m hungry. This place got good food?”

“Not amazing, but still good. Drinks are divine though,” she told him and swung her arm around your shoulders. Maybe you should’ve just asked her to be your fake girlfriend. However that would’ve meant putting on the role at work and that’s simply not something you wanted to do.

The three of you entered the familiar pub, welcomed by the scent of beer and smoke, and the chatter of laughter and the click of pool cues.

Bucky raised a brow, “We playin’ pool?”

You bit your lip, “Wasn’t planning on it? But who knows.”

Kate had ignored that and bit her lip when she caught where everyone from work was sitting. “Wait, y/n, I’m nervous. Why am I nervous?”

You halted which had Bucky stumble for a second and they both paused beside you. “Oh my god, Kate, you’re not allowed to be nervous. That’s my job.”

Bucky leaned down to be more at your level. “Why are we nervous?”

Kate winced, “What if Bruce sees right through this? What if they ask a question about your relationship and I mess it up for you guys! We should’ve coordinated answers.”

Bucky started chuckling, “Hey, it’s fine. Just don’t think too much about it. Everything’s the same, except me and y/n go on dates sometimes.”

You felt lucky that you were on his left side, because the vibranium wasn’t able to sense how sweaty your palm was against his. “What if they ask how we got together?”

He smirked. “Just say we started as friends with benefits.”

Your hand was definitely sweaty.

“First date?” Kate questioned.

“Harry Styles concert.”

Your eyes widened up at him, “Bucky, no.”

Finally Kate was cracking a smile. Perhaps Bucky would be both of your security blankets tonight. His relaxed mood was rubbing off on you a little already. “Okay, okay. First real date was to the MoMA.”

Your lips parted, a little surprised by the answer because it was actually something the two of you had done before. It was before you’d even started sleeping with each other and was one of the first times you hung out one on one with him. However, before you or Kate could comment, a person stood in front of the three of you and cleared their throat.

“Excuse me, do you three need help finding a seat?” The person was in all black with an apron around her waist, probably a server or bartender, and was doing her best to not look irritated with you.

“Sorry!” Kate apologized and cringed, “Just looking for our friends… Oh look! Found them! Thanks so much!”

She dragged you away, you and Bucky giggling along as you all approached the work table.

“Bishop! Y/l/n!” Your coworker, Clint, called out and raised his beer stein up, “You finally made it!”

Out of everyone, aside from Kate, Clint was the only other person you worked with who had met Bucky before. Luckily, he hadn’t had a long moment with the guy, so he didn’t think twice when he saw Bucky at your side, hand in yours.

“Hey guys,” you gave them a little wave.

One of your coworkers, Gamora, scooted her seat over and patted the one beside her, “Plenty of room for you all.”

Kate took the seat beside her, and you took a second to scope out everyone. Yelena was the only one not here yet, but otherwise there was Clint, Gamora, Helen, Erik, Darcy, and, of course, Bruce. He was on the other end of the table, and luckily the spots around him were taken so even if he had offered, which he hadn’t, there’d be no spot to sit beside him. He still was giving you a little smile, but looking at Bucky a little puzzled.

He was not the only one looking at Bucky.

Darcy patted the chair next to her, “C’mere, you two. This is your boyfriend then, y/n?”

You blushed, the nerves kicking in again but then Bucky gave your hand a little squeeze. He displayed his best charming smile and told Darcy, “The one and only. I’m Bucky.”

She raised a brow, looking impressed for some reason. You soon realized the reason when she looked him up and down. “Well, come sit, handsome.”

“Darcy,” you huffed.

“Oh,” Bucky chuckled, “You’re Darcy? I’ve heard about you.”

“Only the best I presume!”

Bucky did end up sitting by Darcy’s side but pulled your chair closer to him as you sat. You swung your bag and coat over the back of the seat, and the moment you were settled, Bucky had his arm around you.

“Um, so,” You cleared your throat, “Everyone, this is Bucky. Bucky, this is everyone.”

“You’re real good at this,” Kate teased, picking up the drink menu with a little grin.

Gamora nudged her, “Let her live. Introducing everyone to your partner is always a struggle. Remember when I brought Peter for the first time?”

A few of them chuckled and Kate responded, “Yes! Oh, that poor man.”

Bucky gave Kate a nod, “What happened with him?”

Helen, who was sitting on Gamora’s other side, leaned forward a bit to acknowledge Bucky’s question, “Honestly, Kate, Darcy and your beloved girlfriend are the ones to ask. They kept embarrassing the poor man, asking him things like what are your intentions?”

Bucky gave you a look, “Were you bullying the poor guy?”

You leaned over to grab another distant drink menu, hiding your face behind it. “No comment.”

Helen giggled and told Bucky, “I’m Helen by the way. And this is Gamora, Clint, Eric, and Bruce. I’m assuming you already know Kate?”

“Oh yeah,” Kate whistled and leaned back to look cool, “Me and Barnes? We go way back.” They did not go way back.

“We’ve met before,” Clint recalled openly. “Kate’s family banquet thing.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up, “Yeah! You were her mentor back then, yeah?”

“Mhm,” Clint mumbled, picking up his beer and taking a sip. “Didn’t realize you and y/n were a thing, though.”

Erik gave you a look, “So, this is the lad that has you rushing out of work every Friday, hm? He is quite the handsome face. I see why you’d be so eager.” Erik was your mentor when you’d first started on the job. He’d totally caught you grinning at your phone on Friday afternoons, reading Bucky’s texts as he teased you in preparation for that night.

“Oh my god,” you shot him a teasing glare, “I do not rush. And I have other friends! I never said I was going to meet up with my boyfriend!”

Bucky gave you a little grin, teasing, “Well, we do kind of hang out almost every friday, peach. It works best with our schedules.”

Bruce cut in, “I didn’t even know you had a boyfriend?” He was trying to sound casual, but you could see in his eyes that he was deeply confused. Who knew what was going through his head, especially when Bucky started to fiddle with the hem of your shirt, just by your neck.

Gamora looked at Bruce and then back at you, a little smile on her face like she was up to something. “I totally knew you were seeing someone.”

“I just like to be private!” You and Bruce briefly made eye contact.

Kate blew a raspberry, putting the drink menu down, “I’m gonna hop up to the bar and order. Y/n, Bucky, you ready?”

“I’m the designated driver tonight,” Bucky nodded as if this were some philosophical answer and let out a loud sigh, “Yup. Sober night for me.”

You snorted, “You don’t even drink much, you weirdo.” He was never the type to get drunk, or even tipsy really. He would usually have a drink to fit in, but sip it slowly throughout the night.

“I’m kinda hungry though,” Bucky announced. “Any recommendations?”

Helen leaned to slide over a general bar menu that was sitting in the middle of it all, “We were talking earlier about sharing curly fries.”

Bucky furrowed his brow at the menu and said in all seriousness, “I fuckin’ love curly fries.”

“What a coincidence, so do I,” Darcy said proudly.

“I’m trying to fight to also get some nachos,” Erik declared.

Bucky gave him a thumbs up, “I’m down for that too. Kate, I’ll come order with you to grab all that. Y/n, what did you want, baby?”

Peach was one he’d use more regularly in front of friends, as it could be written off easier as platonic in his mind, however baby was one he usually kept private. So, you blushed at it. You still hadn’t been able to read a damn word on the menu so you pointed at some random drink that said honey something. “This, please.”

He glanced at it, “Okay, you’ve got it.”

“Thank you,” you squeaked as he kissed your temple quickly. Kate also got up, following him to the bar.

After you set aside the menu, you glanced up to find that everyone’s eyes were behind you, watching Bucky in the distance, presumably. With both of them gone, you felt vulnerable to everyone’s opinions as though they’d see right through you. Although, no one had any reason to suspect you were lying. You’d probably even mentioned hanging out with him before to Darcy, even using his name. If anyone had ever looked through your social media, there were photos of him. Being friends with your brother, Bucky had been in your life longer than Kate had.

“He’s got a handsome smile,” Erik said in approval. Apparently a handsome smile was all love required because he quickly moved on, “Okay, did any of you hear what happened in HR on thursday?”

Everyone engaged in some gossip over whatever was going on, which you were grateful for. Bruce was quieter than usual, you noticed, but you avoided eye contact so you didn’t quite know what this expression was like.

Soon, you felt Bucky beside you again. He gave you a little smile and handed you your drink and placed some nachos on the table. “Erik, my man, here you go.”

Kate placed the curly fries.

“Oi, you are a gem,” Erik praised before grabbing a big chunk. “I’ll pay ya back.”

“On me,” Bucky insisted, reaching to grab his own share. He placed some on a plate and brought it closer to you.

“Thanks,” you said quietly before taking a sip of your drink. Luckily, whatever it was, it tasted pretty good.

The group settled into a comfortable chatter, continuing on about the HR stuff and diving into little drama things. And of course, just as Bucky promised, his hand was on your thigh. It was his right hand, warm and firm through the fabric of your pants. You swore he pressed a little harder every time you laughed at something, and you also swore that each time Bruce spoke up, Bucky’s hand moved upward as well. Still, you remained calm and relaxed. Bucky was getting along nicely with everyone and you almost forgot how you had to be pretending here. Even though this was something you never did publicly, his hand on you was something normal and comforting.

Before you knew it, you had finished your drink. Your cheeks were warm and you realized you probably drank it a little fast. The damn thing was good. You wondered if there was real honey in it.

“Peach?” Bucky leaned over, his words warm on your cheek, “Want another?”

You pursed your lips while pondering over the glass. “I think so.”

“Hey,” he said to get your attention pointed his way instead. You understood and looked over, his nose nearly touching yours. He had a curious look on his face, the corners of his mouth turned up in a crooked grin, “You doin’ okay?”

You nodded and he absolutely did not miss the way you glanced down at his mouth because he mirrored your action. You thought for a moment that he was going to kiss you then. He had said earlier he would to make Bruce jealous, and you momentarily panicked, realizing you’d never kissed in front of anyone before. However he quickly pulled back and stood up, knowing how much his teasing drove you crazy, “Be right back. Does anyone else need a refill?”

Darcy lifted her glass, “Me, please!”

Bucky somehow knew what she was having and accepted her glass.

“I love this guy,” Dary laughed openly and happily with you and you couldn’t help but giggle along.

Gamora had been glancing at her phone and raised her finger to tell evefryone something, “Hey, folks, Yelena finally texted. She’s just pulling up with Nat.”

“Why is she so late!” Clint scolded although his anger wasn’t serious.

You and Kate however froze over the name Nat and stared at each other.

“Um. Her sister?” Kate asked. “Didn’t realize she was comin.”

“Oh yeah,” Gamora was typing something back to Yelena, “I told everyone this earlier, but you guys weren’t here yet. Hey, y/n, she’s friends with your brother, Steve, right? She must know Bucky then!”

You smiled awkwardly, hoping it didn’t look that way. “Definitely. Yelena’s never met him, but Nat? Yup. Absolutely. Yup, yup.”

“Uh oh,” Darcy smirked, sensing your awkwardness contrary to your efforts, “What’s up with you? Is there some drama there?”

There was zero drama there. Nat got along with you and Bucky very well, however not only did you not tell her about your fake dating plan, but she had no clue you and Bucky were friends with benefits in the first place. And on top of that, Steve had no clue either, and he’d definitely be hearing about this night from her if his little sister was involved.

You went to pull out your phone, hoping that even though Nat was probably right in the parking lot or even closer, that you’d be able to text her an explanation and that she’d read and understand the explanation before she got to the table. However, just as you pulled out her contact, you heard Yelena’s familiar voice, “Hi, guys!”

You raised your eyes, seeing the two sisters wander over, looking lovely and happy as ever. How the hell were you supposed to warn Bucky?

Everyone greeted them. The only two spots left happened to be the one right beside you, and the one at the end of the table. Yelena placed her coat at the end chair, so Nat came and sat beside you, her eyes lighting up when she saw you.

“Little Rogers,” she teased, giving you a little side hug as she sat, “I thought you’d be here!”

“Yeah, Nat, good to see ya, um, can I talk–”

“Here ya go, peach,” Bucky’s voice had you freeze up, especially when Natasha looked up and gave him a confused look. He was oblivious to her at first, only ntoicing Yelena after placing down your drinks. “Oh hey, you must be–”

“Bucky?” Nat laughed, sitting up a bit more and leaning toward him to swat his shoulder, “Why are you here?”

Kate started choking on her drink in fear.

Bucky had a smile still on, but his eyes were worried for the first time all evening. “Uh…” When he didn’t know what to say, you knew you were screwed. Sure, Nat knew you and Bucky were close, but it still seemed weird that you brought him along to some work hangout especially when she’d never heard the two of you doing that before.

Yelena, despite being Nat’s sister, had never met Bucky and her eyes lit up, “Oh! You’re her boyfriend, then? I thought Gamora’s text was lying when she said y/n was bringing a man along.”

Nat laughed but then saw the panicked look in yours and Buckys’ eyes. “Wait, what?”

For the most part, everyone was oblivious to how confused Natasha was, or they were just polite and didn’t comment.

Clint leaned forward to talk to Nat, “Hey, Bucky’s here.”

“I see that, thank you,” she grinned awkwardly, “I wasn’t aware you two were… dating? I mean, I’m not surprised. I’m more surprised with how I’m finding out–”

You had cut her off as you started to ramble, coming up with some idea of how to spin this “Nat, we just didn’t want to tell Steve yet and –huh? You’re not surprised?”

“Yeah. You two are hanging out like all the time. And don;’t get me started on the crush Bucky had on you when you were teenagers and–”

“Nat,” Bucky’s jaw clenched, “Can we talk privately for a sec? Now?”

She rolled her eyes, assuming he was mad that you guys were caught because now she’d of course have to tell Steve. “Listen, Steve has to know, you guys! The longer you wait the more upset–”

“Natasha,” he insisted with a huff, standing up. He was not taking no for an option, so once again, she rolled her eyes and followed.

“Sorry, I’ll be one sec, thanks to Grumpy Barnes,” Nat gave you and her sister a look, slightly annoyed before she disappeared outside with Bucky.

Darcy’s eyes were wide and the moment they were gone, she was staring right at you. “You haven’t told your brother about your relationship!”

You didn’t even have to lie as you told her, “I just know he’d react weirdly and I don’t want to ruin a good thing.”

Helen tilted her head, “Sweetheart, if it’s a good thing, then it’ll be okay, right?”

Yelena added, leaning back in her chair as she stole a plate of nachos, “I’ve met Steve once or twice. Seems like an understanding man.”

Surprisingly, Bruce also spoke up in defense of your relationship, and you had to stare at him in confusion as he said, “I’m sure your brother would be happy knowing his sister and best friend have found love, right?”

I don’t think he’d be so happy knowing we have not found love but instead he’s railing me senseless every week, you thought to yourself but of course did not say this. “I suppose,” is what you said instead.

Bruce, although he looked disappointed since you showed up, he gave you a little smile, happy to finally have your attention, “You two seem good together. I’m sure it’d be nice to be open with your family.”

Once again, you were truthful. “This is kind of the first time we’ve really gone out with others and been able to be… like this? I mean, Kate has known about us, but even then…”

Kate let out a snort, “I have never heard him call you baby in my life.”

You blushed and held onto your glass, feeling the condensation and distracting your gaze by gathering the droplets together.

“How long have you even been together?” Erik asked. “I swear you’ve been blushing at your phone for months.”

You bit your lip. “Um. It’s complicated?”

Kate outed you, “They were friends with benefits.”

“Kate,” your eyes widened at her, even though what she was saying was true aside from the past tense.

“Oh dear,” Helen giggled.

“Nice,” Darcy smirked.

Just then, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, and around the same moment Natasha had made her way back to the table. You couldn’t help but feel the lack of Bucky’s presence, but you saw that he had texted you. Before reading it however, you glanced nervously at Nat.

She was giving you a suspiciously tight little grin, “Hey.”

“Hi,” you squeaked.

Darcy leaned over to grin at her, “How ya feelin’, Nat?”

Nat put her arm around you, giving you a wink, “Your secret is safe with me, kid.”

“I’m not a kid,” you blushed, afraid of what the fuck Bucky may have told her. You peaked at your phone, hoping she didn’t see.

I told her its fake to try to get bruce off ur ass. We r in the clear.

You grinned, about to put your phone away, figuring he’d come back to the table soon, but then he messaged again.

Meet me in the bathroom.

You slid your phone away then, unsure of how to get up and leave without it being obvious. Perhaps there was no way to do so, so you just needed to be confident about your actions. You gave Nat a pat on the shoulder and she got the idea to take her arm off you. “I’ll be right back.”

“Team meeting?” Kate teased, however she wasn’t completely joking because she really wanted to be filled in on what just happened.

Instead you just gave her an awkward smile, hoping to convey that everything was fine, but she just seemed lost. You left anyway.

You had never been to this place and it took you a hot moment to find the bathrooms. Surprisingly, Bucky was not situated outside the bathrooms and you paused to look around, wondering if he decided to meet you elsewhere. For a single illogical second you even worried that this was too weird for him and he ditched. That’s be quite a shitty move for a designated driver though, and Bucky was not a shitty guy.

Along with the binary washrooms, they had a small single gender neutral washroom, so you figured to poke your head in there, however that was empty. Perhaps that was a good thing, because using gender neutral washrooms as an excuse for rendezvous with some man and not for the intended use of a safe space to use a toilet, simply was unethical, you thought.

A person walked out of the woman’s washroom which startled you. The person just gave you a strange glance but walked away. Feeling like you looked like a weirdo, you went into the woman’s washroom because that was a normal action.

Only one of the stalls was in use and the air dryer was still flowing loudly from the last user. You crept in, letting the door slam, and went to wash your hands, unsure of what to do with yourself. Where the fuck is Bucky?

However, peering at the closed stall, you saw some familiar shoes under the door’s crack.

You tilted your head and called out, “Hello?”

“Mhm?” A voice that had to be Bucky squeaked back, sounding like he was trying to sound feminine or nonchalant but instead sounded like a fool.

You whisper yelled, “Bucky?”

He whisper yelled back, “Y/n?”

Feeling relief, you began to giggle to yourself and dried your hands off. “Get out here. Why are you in the women's washroom!”

In the mirror reflection you saw him peak his head out of the stall, looking to see if you were alone. “Well, Nat brought me in here to talk. She did not care for my opinion on the idea. And then she left me here!”

“Um,” you tried not to laugh, “Well, why did you not just follow her back?”

“I went to wipe some sweat off my forehead– she can be nerve wracking, and some women came in so I had to hide.” Bucky looked so relieved to see you, looking at you with wanting eyes and walking up behind you, watching you back in the mirror.

You grinned, “So you just asked me to come in here and save you?”

He looked sheepish as he wrapped his arms around your waist, his cheek pressing against yours as he hugged you from behind, “I also just like you.”

You swore your heart skipped and you had to hold onto his hands tightly just in case you started shaking nervously. It felt silly, the idea that you were normally completely fine being naked in front of the man, yet him saying I just like you, had you feeling giddy. “So, everything is fine with Natasha?”

“Mhm,” in the mirror, he was not looking at you really, but seemingly looking at the reflection of your intertwined fingers, “I just told her the truth, aside from, well, yunno.”

“And she bought it? She seemed fine, I think.”

With his throat by yours, you could hear him gulp before he responded. “I think so. She seemed really convinced though that we’d end up together.”

As his hands held yours still, you felt a boost of confidence. “Did you really have a little crush on me as teens?”

His smile grew and he tried to play it off with a laugh, “Listen, c’mon! You were pretty and made me laugh. That’s the formula for teen love.”

“Am I no longer pretty?” You teased.

He laughed again and lowered his head to kiss your shoulder, mumbling, “You know you’re pretty.”

“So I no longer make you laugh then? Can’t believe this.”

“Shut up,” He chuckled lightly, his mouth back on your shoulder but he paused there. You swore his grip tightened on you and you could see him pondering something in the mirror reflection. Although you wondered what he was thinking, you didn’t want to push and lose the moment. He was warm against your back and his words had been soft beside your ear.

However, as you were embracing the moment, he had pulled back, yet only slightly so that he could turn you around in his arms to face him.

Bucky looked you in the eye, his expression suddenly a little more serious. “You, y/n, are so pretty, and you make me laugh every single day.”

“Too bad that’s not the formula for love when you’re an adult,” you teased, your hand subconsciously fiddling with the lower hem of his knit shirt.

He cracked the smallest smile, yet was still gazing at you seriously. “You’re off limits, though. You always have been.”

Your movements faltered just as your smile did. This is not a direction you expected this to go in and you wanted so desperately to know what he meant by that. “W-what?”

His lips were in that subconscious pout of his which he did when he was thinking too much. “You’re Steve’s sister. That’s just… it’s off limits.”

Attempting to hold onto confidence, you joked, “Well, I’m pretty sure touching me under my shirt is a bit off limits too, but that hasn’t stopped you.”

“Yeah, but–” his jaw briefly clenched, “Being a boyfriend to you? This whole situation tonight? Imagine Steve’s face. Imagine your mom’s face.”

In a quiet questioning gaze, you wondered where all this was coming from. “Are you saying dating me would be worse than just taking me to bed?”

His grip on your waist moved to your hips. The look in his eye was familiar yet rare, and you never knew how to place it. He looked full of want, but not in the way he did before taking off your clothes. There was a sadness to it that went unexplained. “It’d be something. Worse implies that this is already bad. And neither situation is bad at all, it’s just… it’d be, something.”

“I- I don’t get what you’re even going on about, Buck,” you admitted vulnerably. You realized his expression matched the way he’d look at you in the mornings if you ever stayed the night, and it was the way he’d look at you after a gathering with all your friends when he had to say goodbye to you  as though it was the same as bidding farewell to everyone else.

Still, though, this expression was all he gave you. His words tonight were more than you’d gotten. Filling whatever he allowed himself to access, he was kissing you then before you realized he was leaning in. Perhaps he had been leaning in all along.

Bucky was steady at first, but one kiss became more, and he was displaying all the desire he could through the touch of his mouth to yours and the slide of his tongue.

Even though it was a completely normal thing between the two of you, you felt a little embarrassed as you moaned against his mouth without realizing it was going to happen.

In response, Bucky let out a deep groan, lightly pushing you backward by the hips, up against the counter. The action had you giving into your hunger, whatever it was, your hands went to tangle in his hair, pulling him closer by the back of his head.

“Y/n,” he moaned against your mouth. You embraced his breaths, the tension of being pressed between the counter and his own hips was driving you up the wall. “I liked holding you, unafraid of the others watching.”

You just smiled against his lips.

He continued, “Getting to touch you in public without worrying? Fuck, baby.”

You giggled, “That sounds like voyeurism, you weirdo.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” he grinned. Suddenly he was pulling you up by the hips, placing you on the counter beside the sink. Your legs went around his waist naturally, pulling him closely to your core. Bucky’s mouth moved to kiss your cheek, and then your jaw, and he made a needy sound as he neared your ear, “I mean I like being beside you and calling you baby and having everyone know that it’s me who makes you feel good.”

You shuddered at both his words and the breath against your ear.

He continued to your neck, messy and hungry kisses pressing against you. “You like the sound of that, baby?”

“Mhm,” you gasped quietly.

He groaned, “You have no idea how much I want you.”

If it weren’t for the hardness pressing between your legs completely distracting you, you would’ve been thinking far too deeply about all of this. You’d analyze his words later, because for now, you just wanted him too.

You slipped your hands down, finding the zipper of his pants while he continued at your neck, sliping between wet kisses and light sucking. He whined against you as you slipped your hand under the fabric, going to his erection and gliding over it confidently.

As you began your slow and teasing movements up and down his length, he dropped his forehead against your shoulder, trying to gather himself.

Quietly, Bucky said, “Are you trying to tease me?”

“Maybe,” you hummed, your free hand going to his chin to lift his gaze to yours. I want you. You could practically hear his thoughts. It was written all over his face. And you had no doubt that your expression mirrored his. I. Want. You.

You sped up the pace, a slight twist in your wrist in the way you knew he liked. You were in awe as his mouth parted, watching you back.

However, the sound of the bathroom door opening had you both freezing, your hearts dropping as you both realized how you were a couple of damn idiots. You’d been so lost in the moment you didn’t even think to hold it together to get out of here and maybe go to the car, or at the very least think to lock the door.

“Um, what the fuck?”

Bucky and you looked toward Natasha, who of course, happened to be the one to walk in on this moment. The two of you probably looked like deers caught in headlights, and you honestly didn’t know if it was the favoured or least favoured scenario that Nat happened to walk in instead of a stranger.

“Ah, fuck,” Bucky hissed.

Your hand was very clearly in his pants, and there was no way of hiding it. Bucky’s hair was also quite ruffled up, and there was no hiding that either.

Nat looked at both of you in horror, eyes darting back and forth for what felt like the longest moment ever.

“‘Fake’ my ass,” She finally smirked.

“Nat, this isn’t–”

She cut you off, “Don’t you dare say this isn’t what it looks like.” She walked backward, about to head out of the door, “What a turn of events.”

Before you knew it, Nat had slipped back out into the hallway. Your hand slipped away from Bucky, horror rushing over you as you processed how dangerous this could have been and how much trouble you could’ve gotten in if a stranger had walked in.

Once more, Bucky hissed, because there was nothing else to really say, “Fuck.”

───※ ·❆· ※───

[mysmedrabbles]

RFA+Minor Trio Reacting to an MC in the Mafia

requested: y e s 

a/n: listen,,,,, im a huge sucker for mafia au’s ,, and perhaps i’ll upload a full story with all of them on Patreon! So stay tuned for that one! Definitely more mafia AU type things coming soon though  if you want to see more mysme mafia and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee!

warnings: vanderwoods is really good

-Prohibition-Era Italian Mafia mod Alex 

Jumin

- corporate heir of a multi-million won company married to the runaway child- now mafia member? my god what a cliche

-it’d originally been a few weeks before he’d planned to propose when he suddenly realized that he had... never actually met your family? He’d always figured that you’d tell him when you felt comfortable enough, or when you felt like it, but he genuinely wanted to propose, to marry you and make you his, however he felt he needed your fathers approval, something.

-he’s surprisingly calm when you tell him the truth, that you’d run away from home at a young age and upon asking for a job at the local bar, as anything, someone who works in the back and does inventory, trash person, anything, you’d found out that this bar was a front for a mafia organization, who’d promptly adopted you and taken care of you ever since 

-you’re not sure what kind of reaction you expected from him, but you receive none, only an understanding nod and a question, same as before, “Can I meet them?”

-the next day you take him down to where you work, a lovely little rustic bar downtown. 

-he notices as you visibly relax when you take him into the back, smile spreading on your face as you greet various members cheerfully, a reluctant grin, changing to a threatening frown when they noticed Jumin holding your hand and following you to the back

-you’re not expecting the meeting to go well, pacing around the door, where your boss, is privately speaking to Jumin, hand placed firmly on your grip of your gun, finger threateningly over the safety lock, ready to fire if something bad went down

-so you’re exceedingly surprised when the two come back out on an embrace, chuckling as they greet you. waving the two of you off with a genuinely kind smile, you turn to Jumin, demanding an explanation as you get back into the car.

- “Jumin?????” you gesture wildly, inviting the explanation.

- “Yes dear? - Home, Driver Kim please” he nods in Driver Kims direction.

-He gives no explanation, knowing it’s going to drive you insane, only says, “We’re having dinner with your family next week by the way.”

-corporate mafia family

Jaehee

-her dream, to own her own cafe, with you! her love, her joy, her future wife!

-so she can’t understand you when you’re extremely hesitant to leave your job, what looked like a? boring bartending job?

-she knew there was something you weren't telling her, and she ends up figuring it out herself, putting two and two together, using various news reports about the bar, mixed with information (or lack thereof) of the manager of the place

-she stomps up to you in a cold but angry manner, and thrusts a piece of paper in your hands, a list of collected evidence. “Tell me you’re not part of a gang MC.”

-her voice is scarily cold, but hints of tears that threaten to swallow her whole still manage to reflect through her voice.

-you explain your story, the whole ordeal since you ran away until you found the job, to how they all took care of you, and hey its not like you were the most powerful one, you were moreso like the little sibling of the group, still having skills but never in any direct danger.

-she doesnt speak to you for two days, “contemplating the information” (aka making you feel guilty for hiding this)

-when she sees just how broken down and sad you are as you get into bed, movements sluggish as you flop into the comfort of your shared bed, it finally makes her realize that,, this was something you had chosen as a child and even if she wasn’t okay with it, it wasn’t her choice to make. This was your family and she had to respect that. 

-biting on the inside of her lip, she slips next to you, pulling you towards her silently. resting your head on her chest, you look up at her hopefully, “does this mean I’m forgiven?”

-the ghost of a smile graces her face as she closes her eyes, “We’ll see tomorrow. Lets sleep for now y/n.”

-when jaehee meets the crew its a lovely spring night and,, well,,,, basically they end up scared of her and you’ve never been more in love with the woman sitting across from you at the dinner table

Yoosung

-nonononononono his sweet baby angel cant be in the mafia

-the fact that you’re you know,, a part of the mafia doesn’t even register in yoosungs brain, his main concern is that you’ll get hurt, that something will happen to you in the line of duty and you won't come home

-you assure him that you’re mainly the person who talks to the targets beforehand, gathering intel and helping prepare for the missions

-you dont necessarily tell him much about anything or anyone, preferring to keep him in the dark, for his own safety

-of course you’d mentioned Yoosung to Byung-Hee, the mafia boss and your paternal figure, but he’d never thought much of Yoosung; that is until Yoosung bursts into the storage rom of the bar, and with around 15 different guns pointed at him, he threatens Byung-Hee, that if he ever dare let anything happen to you, he’d come in and kill him himself, using his medical knowledge to make his death look like an accident

-Byung-Hee is,, amused. Yoosung is not threatening in the least, but the dedication it took to march into mafia headquarters uninvited and threaten the leader while thirteen different people had their guns trained directly at him,,, shit takes guts

-All he does is nod, extending his hand to shake Yoosungs, who is,, extremely confused. When Yoosung’s hand reached Byung-Hees however,, the boss yanks Yoosung close, whispering in a threatening manner that if h e ever hurt you, he’d kill him in the most painful way possible and no one would ever know

-needless to say as soon as he gets back home, the adrenaline rush fades and runs directly into your confused embrace as he cries, mumbling something about how you’ll always be safe and his promises

Seven

-sjdhfskjdfh bitch you think you’re dangerous? i’m part of the mf mafia

-he never found much about you when he looked you up, only records that existed were report card grades in elementary and middle school, but past that it was as if you’d fallen off the face of the earth; no credit cards, social media accounts, guilty 2 am internet purchases, not even so much as a water and power bill or an address, until you suddenly reappeared three years ago, but it’s still not much

-the two of you drive the rest of the messenger to insanity, and even your FBI agents are sick of see your texts to each other, questions masked in playfulness, both trying to get the truth out of each other. Nothing making sense except to the two of you

-often he’ll poke you awake in the middle of the night, glasses slipping down his nose rapidly as he pesters you with incoherent questions about your past; but all you do is shift, intertwining your legs with his and pushing him back down to the bed, placing your head on his chest as you go back to sleep

-its around six months later post having moved in together when the two of you when you decide enough is enough. the truth had to come out sometime no? the two of you gather all the fast food and snacks you can, and facing each other sitting cross legged on the couch, no interruptions, you take turns firing questions at each other, answering them no matter how hard it might have been

-his reaction to you being in the mafia is at first, concerned. because he knows how mafias operate, and the last thing he would want is for a client to come into his job and for your gang to be the target that needs to be eliminated. 

-his next question is what level of illegality do you operate at?

-with your response being an even 5, he presses for more. you explain how you take funds from the rich, expose the businessmen who steal from the company’s funds, bribe and threaten powerful congresspeople to pass better laws to help the poor, the basic steal from the rich, give to the poor type deal

-he listens intently, the story of how you got to this point completely capturing him. he never thinks badly about you; in a way you guys were helping out the world. if he spins it the right way, its almost like the two of you are doing the same job, just different methods

-work buddies! while he hacks and does his work for the agency, you’re right there sitting next to him trying to learn all you can about your next target and making a detailed plan, on constant call with Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik, dubbed the “intelligence twins.” When you’re getting visibly stressed he reaches over, gently squeezing your hand reassuringly as he breaks out the HBC for the both of you to take a short break, and when he gets stressed you do the same. 

-finally having a place to rant about work, of course neither of you can ever disclose the targets names, but its still good to get things off of your chest

-honestly the only thing he has trouble believing is that you’re an actual bartender. “yes seven, i actually went to school to get my certificate for this” “why u always lyyyiiinn”

-when he sees something on the news, another politician knocked down from the public eye, a mysterious amount of money donated to the local orphanage, he makes sure to congratulate you, genuinely grinning as he picks you up to kiss you, proud of his s/o 

-if you’re chosen to do some first hand intel, go down and charm someone into signing x y or z paper or get them to a secondary location, he uses his own skills to keep an eye on you and make sure nothing bad happens 

-when its time to meet the family, he goes in jokes ablaze, making what was supposed to be a refined mafia dinner at an upscale restaurant a comedy center,, and the lack of fear on his behalf frankly amuses the boss. sevens a mess the whole dinner. he observes the similarities between the gang and the RFA, both having the same familial dynamic between each other, a kind of comfort and complete happiness. 

-of course as soon as you get married he instantly becomes a part of the family as well

-they hate him. like,,, they love him but also hate him.

-terrible jokes from his part; “hey y/n can you take care of this client for me? here kind of a dick but i’m not allowed to say anything. it'd be great if,,,, something happened to their money”

-he knows you’d never do it to anyone that doesn’t deserve it but its a funny bit that keeps the two of you sane

Zen

- “absolutley not mc”

-he hates your job already, working at a bar in downtown, but the fact that its just a Front for a Mafia gang? that you’re a Part of?

-absolutely not.

-he springs into protective mode instantly, launching himself into a long rant on how he’s going to get you out of there, you dont need to worry because you dont have to be there, no matter what dirt they have on you, what you did in the past, he still loves you and he’s going to help you no matter what it takes

-meanwhile youre sitting there watching him pace around, trying not to burst out laughing

-when you explain to him that they’re quite fair, a robin hood type deal made of people who grew up poor, people who were cheated by the government and were forced into poverty, broke their way through the ranks and were trying to help others that were currently in their situation, taking from the rich, bribing businessmen in high power to put forward better laws for consideration, dropping money on random peoples doorstep, all under the cover of anonymity.

-he sits on this for a while, trying to digest what you’d just said. as much as he hates it, he empathizes with the situations that brought you there, and his opinion of this gang has,, drastically changed

-he’s still wary of your safety, hence you suggest he meet the members himself

-bringing out all the toughness he can muster, he strides in with you at his side, cooly talking to the intelligence twins, Hyun Ki and Hyun Shik. He meets others, Jae-Sang and Byung-Hee, and they accept him into the family surprisingly quickly

-he gets along with everyone,, r e a l l y well

Saeran

-nervous boye 

-he doesn’t want you to get hurt, but he understand your reasoning as to why you started in the business of money laundering, understands better than most

-he listens to your story, about the way you ran away and straight into the arms of Byung-Hee, who offered you a job. With no other choice you joined, but eventually warmed up to the idea, and now you love them like family

-of course, he cant help but call you during your lunch break, needing to hear your voice and make sure you’re okay, that you haven't been killed or turned into a murderous member

-a part of him does think its somewhat cool, especially the fact that you willingly got in and can belong to a group like this and not be you know,, abused traumatized and poisoned repeatedly.

-when he finally meets them, he barely musters a word or two, but as time goes on, he gets increasingly comfortable with them. if you trust them, he trusts them.

V

-he cant go through this cult mafia shit again bro

-it takes a lot of reassurance that the boss is actually fair, and even proving to him that you guys dont do others harm, nor do you forcibly recruit people

-you tell him about how they took you in as a scared and alone high schooler, essentially adopted and raised you, gave you a job, a roof over your head and urged you to do what you want in life

-of course theres the thing that you cant officially leave them, so technically you are trapped there, but they took pity on you, looking at you as a little sibling, and at most they only make you gather intel or have you as the driver

-he’s not the most calm about it, but he understands that they’re your true family, and he tries his best to get along with them, trying to view the members as multiple brothers sisters and or parents instead of,,, dangerous mafia members

-he seems extremely calm and chill whenever you guys all go for dinner, very professional and sleek, but in reality he’s trying not to run into the restroom and escape through the window

Vanderwood

-you started off as his client, the one he were supposed to gather intel on and report back to the boss, find his way to your own boss and kill him

-so when Vanderwood found out that you were also the rfa he felt like the luckiest man in the world

-he pretty much always hangs out in the bar during your shift, trying to overhear any useful information; but damn he never expected you to look,, like that.

-week after week, he finds himself enraptured in your beauty, buying water after water, trying to be smooth as he talks to you

-he convinces himself that the little flutter he gets whenever you smile, when your fingers momentarily touch his as you give him yet Another glass of water no ice,, your focus when you experiment with different drinks, the way you get ridiculously excited when said experimental drink turns out good, immediately giving Vanderwood a glass,,, missions,, weren't supposed to be like this right?

-he pries, asking about your boss, but its the adoration of which you speak of Byung-Hee that breaks him, the gestures you make as you talk about him like family

-he skulks back to base, head running wildly. he knows he can’t let you go, he cant fall in love with a client, however he can't bring himself to bring you or your family harm. 

-trying desperately to regain his composure, he spins a story how the original intel he received must have been wrong, because there was no hidden agenda behind the bar. He makes up a lie how he went through the bank statements, hacked the system, did it all, but the bar was 100% clean

-he knows he can never go back, to you, but just protecting you will have to be enough

[comicteaparty]

April 22nd-April 28th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 22nd, 2019 to April 28th, 2019.  The chat focused on Hexameron by Mikhail Shmidt & Eugenia Shmidt.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Hexameron by Mikhail Shmidt & Eugenia Shmidt~! (https://tapas.io/series/Hexameron)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until April 28th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. Who or what do you think the “Eldritch Horror” was at the beginning of the story? Why do you think they gave the cube to Gil? What will happen when Gil completes the tasks given to him?

Kelheor

Hello, I'm Eugenia aka Kelheor, the artist for Hexameron, and we are here to answer all the possible questions

Delphina

Just gave it a read! I really admire how quick the pacing is between each story, it's really tight!

My favorite scenes are a tie between the scene with Summer building the strange mound thing (https://tapas.io/episode/1125654) and the kids summoning the Ladies in Black (https://tapas.io/episode/1273540). I really love when the artist gives a big roomy panel to let us soak in all the creepy details and really feel the atmosphere.

(I'm just taking everything at face value right now and assuming that's a legit Eldrich Horror coming to steal childrens' soul or open a dark dimension for other creatures to come out.)

Darkstrong

Hi, the writer of this whole thing speaking. The pacing is actually, a result of a limitation that we put on ourselves - four pages per story. Glad to hear that you like it. As for Eldritch guest, his motivation, if you even can call it a motivation, is not as simple. Or maybe much more simple, would more accurate. But that is something that will be addressed much further into the story.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Why do you think Gil and friends are being specifically targeted by the horrors? Is it because they’re actively seeking them out, or is something else going on? Alternatively, are they just unlucky?

RebelVampire

1) the scene i like the most is when summer is hugging the creepy rock and smiling. legit i think the crying in that scene sells it causes its pretty clear she subconsciously doesnt want to be there. and yet here she is being forced to hug the rock, so it really hits home what an awful death that would be if she hadnt been saved. 2) part of me wants to just assume ya know, eldritch stuff. probably trying to summon something terrible and was too lazy to get all the items themselves. thus, recruit gil cause why not. makes things easier. but on the otherhand, a part of me wants to assume the twist is it was james all along. cause its pretty convenient he had to leave camp right before the horrors suddenly started being real. going on the idea its not real though, i assume gil is gonna die anyway. like i feel like theres this ominous safety net the story is creating where nothing perma bad happens to anyone besides emotional scares. and i think that means the rug is gonna be pulled out from under us at some point.

3) Eugene cause Eugene is the only one i feel like has a good head on his shoulders. Handles things logically, is decently cautious. Therefore I'm picking him cause he seems the only one not being a dumb kid who says "whats the worst that could happen?" 4) I do think their targetting is just the fact that they're the ones seeking them out. That plus the fact that they are more open to the belief. Cause I think its partly their own half-hearted beliefs in the stories that make them more suseptible to the supernatural around them. Which is pretty common in stories where the supernatural can only affect people who actually believe in it. This would also explain why the horrors seem to be getting worse and more directly deadly; the more the kids investigate, the more belief they have in the things around them.

Delphina

Yeah, I also like Eugene. I think some of the other characters' personalities blend together, but he really stands out for me and has smart ideas like on the stairway to logically get out of bad situation.

Pavla is also fun, I'm looking forward to seeing more of her because she does NOT seem to be interested in ghosts and will gladly punch them in the face.

RebelVampire

yeah. pavla is a lot of the reason why i answer 4 the way i did cause that girl gives absolutely no damns about ghosts. and i can respect just punching your way out of a supernatural situation XD

Delphina

I definitely agree that their meddling is just making things worse, because they're sneaking out to forbidden places/doing rituals and getting the attention of these creatures that possibly would have just left them alone otherwise.

RebelVampire

yeah. especially with the candle ritual. thats legit just asking for it.

Darkstrong

I think I can too answer some questions without going into the spoiler zone. :D My favourite scene so far is definitely the summoning of the Ladies. The scene is dark and menacing, and I like how the design of the Ladies ended up.

My favourite character so far, it is hard to decide since I am writing them all and like all of them, but if I had to choose, I'd probably choose Zoe.

Kelheor

I am actually relieved to know that most people like Eugene that much, and not only because his t-shirts =) Except Zoe, he is not just the only character who doesn't care about supernatural things, put openly don't like a lot to be a part of these crazy events. When we were making that part in The Message chapter, where he is hurt and just wants to go back, I was afraid that people just won't understand the way he behaves. 1. I totally can choose a summoning of Ladies as my favourite scene too! But I'll probably go with the part where the kids ran away from Heartless Annie. I just wish there were a few more panels of how Summer is picking up the stick to smash her just to add more motion to the scene. 3. It's hard, but I would choose Jaeger, because he's just a small cowardly cricket, but will poke every strange thing with a stick =)(edited)

Delphina

Eugene's t-shirts are definitely great too!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Why do you think so many of James’ stories about the camp are suddenly coming true? What do you think James might have to do with the events so far (if anything)?

RebelVampire

5) my fave illustration so far is actually probably the last panel in the right corner of this page https://tapas.io/episode/1197369 i really love how atmospheric both the ominous shadows and fog make the scene. i also like the shot choice with the characters having their backs to us and it being a bit farther away. i feel like it really expresses a sense of scale and hopelessness. plus, i appreciate any background that takes the time to make nice looking stairs. 6) This is the question where I'm going back to my James is the culprit theory. Cause I still stand by the fact him having to leave camp is extremely convenient for how much he gets mentioned. and as for why hed do it, cause he was tired of everyone mocking his stories. if he makes them real, then he can be mocked no longer. its fool proof.

Delphina

In general, I really love how the forest is rendered in the art, it's always so colorful and gorgeous! https://tapas.io/episode/1126672 https://tapas.io/episode/1305811

I don't think James is the culprit, but maybe he's passing along the information from some other darker force? Hard to say.

Darkstrong

Not to play the Ladies' card twice, I'd say that my favourite illustration is Annie's reaction to being smacked with a stick. The branch tentacles, huge mouth full of teeth,and Summer's paralyzed reaction.

@RebelVampire, I like the whole Stairs to Nowhere story. Sadly, I think we couldn't realize it completely the way I pictured it. It is really good hearing that someone finds it so expressive :)(edited)

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Of the creepy events presented so far, which one did you find the scariest? What about it made it so spooky for you?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Why do you think the camp itself seems to have attracted so many supernatural events and tragic happenings? Are the original stories somewhat true, or are they coincidental? How does this change your thinking on scary stories you know?

RebelVampire

7) probably Gil and Summer just cause I think they're kind of at an adorable age together. Like old enough to think they know what theyre doing and know how to be adult, but young enough to legit have no clue. so to me their interactions have sort of a nostalgia of youth to them that make me remember what it was like to be a kid and always trying to act cool around other kids. 8) definitely the stone hugging one. Some of the others felt super avoidable if you played it smart or ya know, didnt do an ominous ritual. but the stone one? only luck saved their asses. and the idea of having to do something beyond your own free will creeps me out. and that panel of summer crying at her fate really gets to me. and just in general, it was the one event i felt they were in legit danger from of not their own accord. 9) the clothes. i really enjoy that they actually ya know, change clothes in the various scearios. like its so easy to get away with not changing a character's clothes, but this comic takes the time to do as such. and thats something i can respect and appreciate. plus, eugene gets the best shirts. 10) i assume the original stories are somewhat true. maybe not as supernatural-y or evil as what actually happened, but some basis. like the idea the one shack house place exists cause they were gonna expand the camp at some point. as to why the camp attracts the supernatural, idk. maybe its on a leyline, cause that usually is the plausible supernatural explanation. or its james' fault

Delphina

Regarding how the story is crafted, I think each section being intentionally 4 pages per story is an interesting writing decision and not one I usually see in webcomics (the default is to sprawl endlessly). It makes for a very fast-paced story and I definitely like that. I do find myself wishing there were more character moments so I can really connect with the characters who have more subtle personalities, since there are so many people to keep track of. But it's really cool to see how much the team is able to convey within a limited number of pages and being smart about how much time you spend on what.

I definitely agree that the one with the stone has a huge creep factor because they weren't actually poking their noses into something they shouldn't have been and it still got to Summer. (Also I feel bad that he had to knock his friend out to get her to stop, like damn, imagine having to render your buddy unconscious)

And yah, I think there's just spooky things in the wilderness a la Gravity Falls, and it was all fine and isolated until someone got the bright idea to build a camp there.

RebelVampire

this is a gravity falls sequel where the shack house they went to was actually the mystery shack and this is gravity falls after the town was abandoned.

i at least appreciate the humor where gil feigned ignorance to how she passed out XD some much needed comedy relief

Darkstrong

@RebelVampire, Gravity Falls actually had some influence on Hexameron's conception, at least on very early stages. It was much more of a comedy then. But it couldn't have been the shack, as everything is happening on the other coast of North America, and not even in USA.

Darkstrong

@Joichi, good to hear that :) Hope to hear some of your thoughts on the comic, too

Kelheor

5. My favourite illustration is laughing trio on the second page of Heatless https://m.tapas.io/episode/1161232 I think just because plot is so tight, we don't see much actual conversation and bonding between the kids, so I really appreciate this small touch of them just being without a care in the world. @RebelVampire and I especially thank you for noticing these stairs because god knows I was suffering drawing them :D @Delphina oh thank you! I'll tell you a secret, in the beginning I didn't know how to draw forest at all, just as the rest of background it was the first time I tried to draw any background whatsoever. It may sound strange, but I am still always forgetting what kind of forest are they running in.

Kelheor

7. Oh, it must be Peggy and Eugene? I actually don't know what will become of them later, but they make an awesome duo right now. Outside they are just so different, but then they do both enjoy some bad humour. 8. Definitely the Black Ladies episode! It's just a nightmare coming true. People are hating on Zoe in this episode, but come on, how frightened should she be!

Kelheor

@RebelVampire I actually wanted to make them a few more changes of clothes, but there are just so many stories to show them! Also I thought since they are kids in the camp, most of them won't actually care to wear the same clothes over and over. And we still have a few ideas for Eugene's shirts...

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Do you think any of the characters will die consider how dangerous things have gotten? If so, who? Also, do you feel Gil really is in danger from the Eldritch Horror given they told Gil he had six days or his life was forfeit?

Delphina

I think the character designs are very strong and the pacing is very unique. I love how expressive the characters get and they're just cute kids to look at (even when horrible things are happening to them)!

Ooooh, who's gonna die? Really anybody, but stab-in-the-dark guess, I'll say Jaeger because he seems the wimpiest and Zoe because she seems like the most gentle. Maybe Pavla too, but not without a fight.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Overall, how do you think the supernatural experiences will affect the characters? Which character are you most looking forward to seeing changed by the experience and why?

RebelVampire

11) i think the comic's strengths lie in its use of setting. i think theres a real sense of nostalgia about camps and how all the spooky stuff happens at them. and i think this nostalgia really pulls you into the comic. not to mention the setting is beautifully illustrated and feels exactly like a camp too, selling the experience. 12) well i already proposed Gil and im still sticking with that. Gil is just treating the Eldritch Horror thing way too casually. i also second the vote for Zoe if anyone dies. she seems the most...cowardly of the group to put it mildly. and incapable of following instructions well. and that seems like itll come to bite her in the butt more and more 13) im looking forward to the eldritch horror's return cause i feel like thats when some serious stuff is really gonna start going down and will get some answers along with more questions. but overally i think its gonna be a surprising and worthwhile experience. 14) Assuming no one dies, heres definitely gonna be some deep emotional scars at the end of the experiences. Especially I think for Zoe. Zoe is gonna be the one most likely in need of therapy if she lives through everything. The character I'm most looking forward to see change is Jaeger I think cause these experiences are really gonna shape him. and they could either go positively and make him braver or they could go badly and hell become a shut in who just plays mmos all day.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Hexameron this week! Please also give a special thank you to Mikhail Shmidt & Eugenia Shmidt for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Hexameron, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/Hexameron

Hexameron’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Kelheor

Eugenia’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/eugenia_Kelheor