#feeling extremely normal about Ashton. so normal I honestly almost posted just him but I felt guilty 👹

[kindahoping4forever]

Backstage @ The 5SOS Show Tour Boston Night 1

[clumsyclifford]

hi! idk if you're still doing the prompts but if you are #47? whatever pairing you're vibing with atm 😊 -🦥

HELLO! first of all, the pairing bot gave me malum after it gave me cashton twice but i didn’t feel like doing this for cashton so i wrote it malum, hope that’s cool. ALSO. one day i am going to write a real proper epistolary fic, mark my words, but for now this is all i have to offer you. i know it’s rather different from like. a Normal fic. but i had fun writing it so :)

read on ao3

-

Dear Calum,

My mum suggested I write you a letter because of the whole data thing in Brazil. I don’t know what that really means but apparently calling would be extremely expensive so I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s weird. Don’t really care. Deal with it.

So how is Brazil? I don’t know the time difference. Wait, I can look it up. Google says 13 hours. That means you’re a day behind me half the time. I’m in your future! It doesn’t look good for you, Cal. Future is pretty grim. If I were you I would stay in the past. Although by the time you get this it will be way in the future for both of us…oops. Oh well. I tried.

Anyway. What was I saying. Brazil? How is it? Hot, I bet. Probably playing loads of football. Luke and I have been playing FIFA but it’s so not the same. He sucks at it and he doesn’t even cheat because he’s boring I guess or has “morals” or whatever (his words not mine). I miss playing FIFA with you. Always beating Luke is not fun. Okay it’s a little fun. But I still miss you. As soon as you’re back you’re reclaiming the player 2 controller. Did I mention that I miss you? You probably get it.

What can I update you about here? There’s not a lot to say. Nothing has really happened. At least not in my life. Oh! I can tell you a secret but don’t tell Luke I told you because he will definitely kill me. Not that you have any way to reach Luke. Don’t go behind my back and write a letter to Luke telling him I told you this. Anyway: Luke fancies Ashton! I totally got him to admit it during one of the FIFA games I mentioned. It was almost cute if I’m honest. He turned really red and got all blushy and stammery. I am now wondering if I should meddle or not. On the one hand, Ashton must like him back, right? Have you seen the two of them? I don’t want to deal with intra-band sexual tension. Unless it’s ours. We’ve already claimed the “insufferable band boyfriends” role though, so do we really want this to happen? I don’t really know what I’m arguing anymore. I don’t think I’ll do anything for now. Will keep you updated in case anything dramatic happens. Then again I have no idea how long it’ll be before you receive this. Something very dramatic might happen while this is in the post. Let me ask my mum. Okay she says it could be two weeks. That’s fucking long. You might just have to come back and get the Luke/Ashton updates in real time.

Besides from that there isn’t much to report. Everything is the same. Except I’m a lot lonelier now. This is what you’ve done to me Calum. I’m returning to my natural introvert state. I need you here, Cal!! Otherwise I’ll just have to become a turtle and by the time you’re back it might be too late. 

I’m joking by the way. I hope you’re having a good time at football camp. Making new friends and learning Brazilian(?) Portuguese and kicking everyone’s arse and showing them up. I’m sure you are. I just miss you lots. :( Counting down the days!

Sending you lots of kisses and cuddles through the post,

Mikey

~

Dear Michael,

I don’t care either! I think writing letters is cool. We’re like lovers at war. Except neither of us are going to die. Probably. (Some of these footballers are CRAZY good. You never know!)

Actually, Brazil is pretty nice. It’s winter so the days have actually been not too hot, thankfully. It’s exhausting enough playing as it is. If it got any hotter, I might actually pass out. Forever. They’d have to ship me home in a body bag. (Are those only for dead people? Maybe not a body bag.)

It’s been almost two weeks since you sent your letter (I assume you sent it soon after I left?) which means there’s a good chance this one won’t get to you until I do, but in case it does I’m going to write and post it anyway. I hope by now you’re getting on better with Luke. If I’ve said it once or a million times, you guys have a lot in common and I really think you could be best friends if you weren’t both such stubborn shitheads. Which I say in the nicest way possible!

Of course Luke fancies Ashton, he’s liked Ashton since…honestly I don’t know when. Months and months at least. And Ashton clearly likes him back. I’ve never seen two people less capable of hiding their feelings. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. Please tell me you decided to meddle in the end. You’re right, we can’t handle more sexual tension in the band. Don’t worry, they can’t possibly be more insufferable than we are. We are the most annoying boyfriends on the planet. We’re writing each other letters. Basically, it’s best for everyone involved if they get over themselves. Suck it up and kiss already! My friend Gustavo agrees with me. Also he says hi. (Well he says “oi” but I translated for you. See, I can do stuff like that. Kinda cool, right?)

I miss you too, you know. Very much. This might sound weird, but I keep having dreams about you? Like…I’ll be dreaming about whatever (usually football these days) and then you’ll just be there. Clearly my subconscious also knows I miss you. You know Ashton says that when you dream about someone, it’s because they’re thinking about you, so I hope that’s true. It’s kind of a cute idea. I hope you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you. Obviously. A lot. A lot.

There is one thing I want to tell you, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and the more I think about it the crazier it feels, but also more right. So…I think I’m gonna do the band. Not football. This is cool and all, but everyone here is so scary good, and…I don’t know. Maybe this is stupid but I don’t like the idea of a future without you when I could have a future with you. Like with the band, I mean. And I know it’s not the most practical dream, but imagine how cool it would be if it actually worked out. You know I like a challenge. So, anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at now. I’m going to keep thinking about it for the last two weeks here, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind. Don’t tell anyone, please. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. My parents are going to be soooo mad. Not excited to tell them, but this feels like the right decision.

Anyway…this got weirdly deep. Sorry. Here’s something super not-deep to make up for it: one of the football coaches here has a dog whose name in English is pasta! PASTA! (It might be apple. Apparently they’re the same word just spelled differently and the Brazilians here can clearly tell the difference. I cannot. But I think it’s way funnier if the dog’s name is pasta so I’m going with that. Not that apple is much better? Imagine seeing any dog at all and thinking, “You know what this dog’s name should be? A common food item.” LOL.)

This letter is so long and I’m running out of space on the page and I also really need to go to sleep! The boys are telling me to turn off the lights. I miss you so much. Football camp is fun, but I can’t wait to be back. Counting down the days!

Thank you for the cuddles and kisses I am sending them right back to you,

Cal

~

“Oh my God,” Michael mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, “you smell.”

Calum laughs, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Michael. “Seriously? I haven’t seen you in a whole month and that’s the first thing you say?”

“Ugh, I missed you so much, but that’s boring to say, you already knew it,” Michael says, drawing back to kiss Calum for a second. Then he buries his face in Calum’s neck. “Seriously, I’m not joking, if you ever leave me alone for that long again, I will die.”

“You had Luke. And Ashton.”

Michael groans loudly and overdramatically. “Ashton is busy with family stuff all the time and don’t you dare compare yourself to Luke.”

“We’re going to talk about this,” Calum says. “You’re going to be friends with him if it kills me.”

“Then prepare to die,” Michael says. Calum laughs, pressing a kiss to the slope of Michael’s neck. “I tried, okay? I promise I did. I said in my letter we were playing FIFA! Did you get my letter? I didn’t know how to check if it ever actually arrived.”

“I got it,” Calum says, stomach lurching with nerves. Ignoring them for the moment, he squeezes Michael and then steps back to give him a full once-over. “I loved it. It made me laugh. God, I really missed you, you know?”

“Join the fucking club,” Michael says, smiling. He’s been smiling this whole time, Calum realises; he’s just good at sounding like he’s whining even when he’s smiling. That’s probably the most Michael thing Michael can do.

“Alright, boys,” Mali says from a ways away. “Come on. Let’s go. And seriously, Calum? You hug Michael but not me?”

Calum throws his arms around Mali, and Mali wraps him in a hug. “Missed you,” Calum says sweetly in her ear. “Thank you for coming to get me. And for bringing Michael.”

“You’re welcome,” Mali says drily. They separate and Mali just gives him a small smile. “And I missed you too, you punk. Come on, you both. Baggage claim awaits.”

Mali takes off and Calum lingers behind until he can throw an arm over Michael’s shoulder. Michael leans heavily into him. It’s been so long since the last time Calum had Michael in his arms, but it’s so immediately familiar that it almost knocks Calum off his feet. 

“So…” Calum bites his lip. “Did you get my letter? I sent it just after yours arrived, but I don’t know if it got here before me.”

Michael shakes his head. “Nope, nothing.” Something in his voice tells Calum he’s making no mistake. He’d probably checked the mail every day, just to see. There’s a pang in Calum’s chest, all mixed up with the anxiety flitting out to his fingertips from inside his rib cage. 

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well, there was something in there that I wanted to tell you, but I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um.” He drops his voice to a half-whisper, clears his throat. “I don’t want to tell Mali or anyone yet, but…I decided I’m not going to do football.”

Michael jerks. “What?”

“I want to be in the band,” Calum says quietly. His heart is racing, but at least it’s racing towards the finish line instead of away. This is the right decision. He’s…ninety-five percent sure. That’s enough to know. It has to be enough to know. “I just, you know, football is fun, but music is more fun. To me. And anyway, um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “If I have a choice between a career that has you in it or one that doesn’t, I choose you. Obviously.”

“You’re gonna be in the band?” Michael repeats lowly, looking over at Calum like he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. “Seriously? You’d give up football?”

Calum shrugs, nods. “Yeah. I know my parents are going to kill me, but I don’t care. This is what I want.”

Michael stares at him. “I love you,” he says, and then kisses Calum too fiercely to give Calum adequate time to process that. 

By the time they break apart, he’s processed it. And as he inhales to catch his breath, licking his lips, he knows with one-hundred-percent certainty that this is the right choice.

“I love you too,” Calum says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Where Michael is concerned, it usually is.

[crownedbyluke]

Long Road Ahead (Chapter Fifteen)

Estelle Finley has been friends with Ashton Irwin and Luke Hemmings for three years. When the boys bring her along on a jam-packed road trip to Cape Cod with the rest of the band, their adventures are just beginning. Through long hours driving, exploring cities, and hidden secrets, something more is bound to happen on this journey. How will this road trip change Estelle’s friendship with the friends she’s come to love so dearly?

Word Count: 2,560

{Chapter One} {Chapter Two} {Chapter Three} {Chapter Four}{Chapter Five} {Chapter Six} {Chapter Seven} {Chapter Eight} {Chapter Nine} {Chapter Ten} {Chapter Eleven} {Chapter Twelve} {Chapter Thirteen} {Chapter Fourteen}

The sound of my phone buzzing jolted me from my sleep. My eyes slowly adjusted to the bright sunlight shining through the windows of my room. There was a text from Luke.

L: Hey little dove. We gotta head out soon. 

E: Okay. I’ll be out in 5.

I blinked a few times, the memory of last night ebbing back into my mind.

“I love you Lu.”

He kissed me with all of the passion and love he could muster up. It felt like I had been away from home and this was the moment it was finally coming back. His hands pulled me closer, desperately grabbing as if I’d fade away. My fingers tangled in his hair, gently tugging. He let out a small moan. Before I had time to think, Luke lifted me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist. It felt slightly weird how needy we were since we had kissed already. 

“You’re mine,” he almost growled, gently dropping me onto his bed. 

I nodded in agreement, pulling him back towards me. We kept kissing for what felt like hours until Luke sat up and moved away from me. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“What changed between getting back and now?” he asked. 

I sighed, unsure how to phrase the thoughts that had been causing a storm inside my mind. 

“I’m tired of fighting. I want to be happy and pretending to be that perfect daughter again made me feel disgusting. I used to do that all the time before college and before I met you and Ash. It doesn’t feel right or even remotely okay anymore. I watch Mikey and Crystal all the time and they’re so happy together, and deep down I know we could be that happy too. I’ve dated plenty of guys and none of them make me feel the way you do. I just want to be with you, Luke. Is that so horrible?” I asked.

He nodded, needing a moment to process my words. I pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting up. I felt his eyes on me as I walked towards the door. 

“I want this little dove. I really do, but I’ve got to take care of some stuff first okay?” he asked as I reached for the door. 

“Take your time. I’ll wait.”

A smile came over my face. It felt easier to breathe now that everything was out in the open. I checked over my outfit in the mirror, adjusting my black crop top and green sunflower shorts. As I pulled my denim button up over my shoulders, I felt secure. Once again, it was in Luke’s hands and I was putting all of my trust in him. He was it and I just hoped he’d feel the same once he handled everything. I grabbed my stuff and headed over to his room. He opened the door a second later. 

“Good morning,” I said with a smile.

“Morning. You look beautiful as always,” he said. 

I felt my cheeks flush from the compliment. He took my bag out of my hand and gestured towards the elevator. There was a weird tension between us, not exactly sexual or nervous, but just unsure. We checked out and headed to the car. 

“Do you want to drive again?” he asked after putting our stuff in the trunk.

“No, you can.”

I climbed into the passenger seat and moved it so I could relax. Luke turned the radio on, handing me the aux chord. It was simple, but meant that he wanted me to tell him what I was thinking. I scrolled through some playlists before I found the perfect one. The soft acoustic guitar from the beginning of “Hesitate” by Jonas Brothers started to fill the car. My nerves kept me from looking over at Luke as the chorus hit. As the second verse started, he put his hand on my thigh. I glanced over still nervous and caught the goofy smile on his face. Maybe this feeling wouldn’t last, but right now, it was me and Luke in the little happy bubble of our own. 

                                                     --

Ashton was running after Calum when we pulled up. It made me wish even more that we didn’t have to leave. 

“My lady,” Luke said, opening my door for me. 

“Why thank you good sir,” I said, taking his hand to get out. 

“There they are!” Crystal yelled from the porch. 

“I brought her back in one piece as promised,” he said. 

I laughed at them, feeling grateful Crystal had us go in the first place. Ashton came running around the corner with the familiar playful smile on his face. 

“Bugs!” he cheered.

Before I was able to tell him to slow down, he was wrapping me up in one of his bear hugs. 

“Don’t break her!” Crystal yelled, now coming down the stairs.

“She’s fine!” Ashton said, releasing me and gesturing as if he was Vana White. 

“Good, because we have lots to discuss,” she said. 

“Lots and lots,” I said, smiling. 

Girl talk was much needed right now and talking about almost having sex with your best friend after being into him for three years was not exactly Ash territory. 

“Don’t keep her too long. I missed her,” he called.

“No promises!” she said. 

We sat down on the side porch in one of the bench swings I felt her watching me. 

“Spill.”

“It went well okay?” I laughed. 

Her look intensified as she analyzed my face.

“I don’t see any hickeys so clearly not that well,” she said. 

“Oh my god Crys! That didn’t happen.”

“So what did?”

“I told him about the threat from my dad and after we got back, we kissed.”

“That’s it?” she asked, sounding shocked. 

“Yes! Why are you so surprised?” I asked.

“You had post-sex glow so I was hoping things had gone extremely well,” she said with a shrug. 

My laugh rang in my own ears. I hadn’t realized that we looked so glowy. 

“Well, are you two at least together?” she asked. 

I felt a sudden unease wash over me with the question. Even I had no real answer to that one. I looked at the ocean, hoping in some way it would magically present the answer. 

“I don’t know. He said he had to figure some stuff out,” I said. 

“That’s not a no though right?” she continued.

“Right, but I don’t know what those things are.”

“I’m sure he’ll tell you once he’s done,” she said, putting a comforting arm around my shoulders.

“I hope so.”

                                                     --

LUKE’S POV

“What was the name of Estelle’s real estate agent again?” I asked, pulling out my laptop. 

“Junie. Why?” he asked. 

“If her dad can take her dream home away, I want to know why and how, and if I can prevent it,” I explained. 

Ashton looked at me with surprise. My fingers flew as I searched for the office’s number. Once I had it, I dialed without hesitation.

“Hi there. I have a few questions regarding finances on your properties,” I said once someone answered.

“Of course. How may I help?” she asked politely. 

“Once a property is purchased and finalized with a move in date, can anything happen to change that?” I asked.

“Logistically speaking, no. However, we have had instances of the bank of a client deciding to back out of mortgage financing which lead to the client scrambling to find a new one,” she said. 

“In the event of a client using a trust fund, would that change that process?” I continued.

“Most likely, no. Typically, we take trust money right away just for financial security and then we require the client to obtain a mortgage through that bank still.”

I asked a few more questions before ending the call. Ashton kept staring at me as I finished up some research. 

“What?” I asked.

“What are you trying to do?” he asked.

“Estelle worked her ass off to get that house and I don’t want that to get taken from her for wanting to be happy.”

“Dude, I’m moving in with her. I’ve got that handled,” he said. 

“What about the threat to our career?” I asked. 

“I believe our record label wouldn’t let that happen.”

“So what does he have that makes him think he could?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got our publicist on it,” he said with a wink.

It still felt like I was missing something. Maybe I was being paranoid, but the pit in my stomach told me otherwise.

                                                      --

ESTELLE’S POV

My heart was beating extremely fast, the nerves about what I was going to do sinking in. I was hovering over the call button, just waiting on the courage to call.

“Elle?” I heard Calum call from my door.

“What’s up?” I asked, tucking my phone away. 

“How’d it go yesterday?” he asked.

“Good. Tiny bit unresolved right now.”

“Are you going to be together finally then?” he continued. 

“I don’t know. I’ve gotta make a phone call though. Can we talk later?” I asked. 

He nodded, giving me a small smile. I locked the door after he left. My hesitation from before was gone, leaving me to just click my dad’s name. The ringing felt longer than normal causing my nerves to rise. 

“Estelle,” he said upon answering.

“Hello father,” I said. 

I felt my leg starting to shake, anxiety growing the longer the pauses were.

“How was your art gallery opening?” he asked. 

“It went well. Only one reporter asked me about you,” I said, getting to the point.

“And how did that go?”

“I said exactly what you wanted me to and gave her some winks so she’d write up something nice for you.”

“And how did your friend react to that?” he continued.

“He was surprised, but as you said, we’re just friends,” I said, trying to hold back the bite in my words. 

“Good.”

“Do you mind explaining why I can’t date him? I would have assumed you’d be thrilled by the press it could bring,” I said, slightly hoping to angle it better.

“We both know how you and the press interact,” he said, his tone getting sharper. 

“And we both know that I’ve gotten more mature since then. The college mistake was not entirely my fault and after that passed, I did everything you asked. I’m media trained, have my own job, and rarely ever do anything that would reflect bad on the company,” I argued. 

“Do you honestly believe the life of a musician is suited for you?” he asked, changing the subject sort of. 

“Luke is not every musician that parties all the time,” I said, gritting my teeth. 

“Really? Is that why a photo of him kissing someone who isn’t you was all over the internet five days ago?”

The memory came back full force, images swirling around as I took a deep breath. 

“He reacted badly to the news of the inability of being together because of you,” I said, digging my nails into the palm of my hand.

“What makes you believe he won’t react badly whenever something doesn’t go his way?” he pressed.

“Because we’ve been friends for three years! While you were out producing Inked and sticking your head farther up Wesley’s ass in the hope that he’ll be the promise child, I was working hard to gain my spot as a teacher. Unlike my brothers, I have listened to you and kept my head down. I am an adult now and if you can’t understand that enough to let me love who I want then you’re no better than when Mom left you,” I fired off, feeling how heavily I was breathing. 

“Estelle Rose Finley!” he yelled. 

“Harass Wes or Parker, but stop treating me like her,” I said. 

“Watch your tone,” he warned. 

“I love Luke and if I want to see what a relationship with him would be like, I can do that without needing your permission.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said, angrily before ending the call.

I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I hadn’t meant for the phone call to go that way or end in a big argument. My hands were shaking and there were nail marks indented on my palm. A tear fell onto my leg causing me to wipe at my cheeks. There were plenty of tears that had fallen from the anger that my father caused. It was rare for me to lash out or let him get under my skin. I felt exhausted from the conversation and it was only midday. There was a knock on my door, making me pull myself together. Ashton was standing there, concern all over his face. 

“I heard you yell. Everything okay bugs?” he asked, stepping in and gently putting his hands on my shoulders. 

“Yeah. Just another phone call with my dick of a dad.”

“Were you crying?”

“A little. I got really angry,” I explained.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was just about Luke. He keeps trying to control my choices when I’m an adult. It’s frustrating,” I said with a shrug. 

“I don’t mean to pry, but your mom left?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Oh, um, yeah. She left him when I was in my first year of college after the whole party incident,” I explained. 

He moved to sit on my bed, nodding as if to say go on. 

“When she found out about him threatening to move me, she lost it. I was already away for a couple months, so I didn’t know he was being mean and controlling towards her. I guess it was the final straw.”

“Where is she now?”

“She lives in England and has her own design house. We don’t really talk that much,” I said.

“And Wes and Parker?” he continued. 

“My brothers. Wes is three years older than me and Parker is two years younger.”

“You’ve never mentioned them.”

“I know and I’m sorry. My family isn’t the best at doing family stuff. They probably don’t even know I got my master’s degree,” I said with a sigh. 

“Weren’t they at your graduation?” Ashton asked, giving me a look of surprise. 

“I didn’t walk,” I replied, not meeting his stare. 

“Why?” he pushed.

“My dad didn’t want the press showing up and finding out I’m a teacher.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t fit into the Finley legacy,” I said, quoting the exact words I was told.

“That’s ridiculous. You’re an amazing teacher. Those kids love you and you make their lives so much better. He should be proud that he has a daughter willing to do that,” he said, reaching over and wrapping his arms around me. 

“Thanks Ash,” I mumbled, returning the hug. 

His pride brought a few tears to my eyes. I had given up on searching for my father’s approval, but hearing how highly Ashton thought of my career, made it worth it. My family was awful, but at least I had friends that supported me. 

“Estelle!” Crystal yelled from what I assumed was the stairs. 

Ash and I broke apart, heading towards the landing to find out what was going on. Crystal looked nervous, almost unsettled. 

“Yeah?” I called as we headed down. 

“Um, your, uh-”

“Hello there daughter.”

A/N: I KNOW AND IT’S GONNA BE EPIC. Tell me all the feels please. 

tagged loves: @bbycal​ @emptysanity​ @floraldawg​ @cakesunflower​ @tommossoccer​