#feeling rather sentimental...

[bevebevo]

decided to do some yearly maintenance on my blog and i ended up scrolling to the very bottom of my posts (featuring art up to... about 4? years back).

i started this blog by posting a lot of extremely ambitious pieces but as college hit there was a pretty noticeable decline in quality (especially in my 1st-2nd yr) lol... but after getting a hang of clip studio i feel like my art has vastly improved since then. while my work nowadays isn't as ambitious as it used to be i'm happy with it! i hope i find the time this year to really sit down and finish some wips that've been sitting in my backlog for the past 2 years

there's a few pieces i wanna sort of... redo? not because i hate them but because i have some ocs who've changed so drastically over the years so it'd be nice to see how far i've come along w them. i also really hope i can start posting info about all my ocs. god there is a lot. but i'm grateful people have shown interest in them even if my audience is very small <3 it definitely motivates me to continue writing. hopefully soon i'll be able to start writing out their stories proper

anyway back to silently dropping posts and dipping for weeks on end lol

[crustyfloor]

I think Hyunwoo’s a very nicely fleshed character out for how little we know about him, his sense of “righteousness” (and straightforwardness) is the first thing we learn about his character, and interestingly enough, it explains some of his perspective leading up to his death... Before HyunA and Hyunwoo met Luka it was just him and HyunA, Hyunwoo cared for Luka when they met, obviously didn't dislike him, but having to reconcile with sharing HyunA's attention and presence between them (with his own frustration and jealousy and Luka's possessiveness over her) it was only "just" of him to get upset because Luka couldn't act appropriately, on both of their ends, they lashed out because they were children and couldn't handle their emotions maturely. Childishness and such can’t be helped (especially) in these circumstances, but it’s so typical that one of the main instigators in this string of events leading up to Hyunwoo's death was inevitably jealousy and childish conflicts (so typical of a sibling it is just terrible that I can imagine how this would've been better dealt with had they been in a better circumstance it makes me feel really bad for their situation when I see HyunA's face in all-in, how much that changed her entire perception after so long ) (eughhh)

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Got excited to see you in my notifications again. How's it been?

Maybe things will get more lively here. Who knows?

[relivethisdream]

“You need to be respectful towards people who aren’t comfortable sharing their F/Os, they have boundaries that need to be respected just as much as anyone else’s” and “While it’s completely fine to keep your distance from people who share your F/Os, you shouldn’t be putting them down just because they’re fine with sharing and you aren’t” are sentiments than CAN, and moreover SHOULD coexist

[sweetestflow3rs]

me when i have an idea of how dod!mean lesbian!vanida looks like ( thanks sua from alst ) but i still have no idea what is her catalyst moment

[sandycookie]

fellas the book 7 update…. *crying*

(refer to the tags for my rambling, just to minimize ppl accidentally spoiling themselves)

[worldofgoo]

i was a quiet kid that didnt really express itself very much or ask for anything and i could entertain myself if i realized nobody was paying attention to me but it lead to me feeling neglected/ignored when it seems like from my parents perspective i just never expressed any types of needs or distress, whenever i ask my mom about my childhood she said i was "low maintenance"

[kashilascorner]

Oh ok. I get now why a lot of people didn't vibe with the ending.

All and all: excellent manga, overall very good final act, too rushed final 2-3 chapters but weak and honestly mediocre epilogue, which makes the high of the ending kind of leave a bitter taste. I think Noda had a good steed and suddenly he had to finish and had to rush all. So the ending in the sense of the final arc was good but the ending proper (final couple chapters) + epilogue......... Not so much

[loderlied]

sharing some thoughts about deactivating here because it’s been difficult pondering idk.

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

Growing up I remember people complaining about Boomer parents being self absorbed, abandoning or neglecting their children, and engaging in other bad parent behaviors. I remember I used to know one guy who complained boomers had not just consumed everything, they licked the plate clean and left nothing for future generations. The answer to this is not to be better parents but to have no children at all, thus resolving the tension between pursuit of the self (which we are assured is not selfish) and the selflessness parenthood demands by removing children entirely. No more leaving nothing to future generations, because now there will just be no future generations.

the logic is unassailable. We have not created for ourselves a society that is configured for having children, though the vestiges persist (the childless report the vague pressure to procreate). Not to have them frees up time and money for career and for instagram worthy travel.

i cannot argue against this, but it seems deeply nihilistic to me in a way that leaves me feeling extremely cold

[ghostieblotts]

*approaching your blog with a newsboy cap and a fake mustache on* hello stranger, may I please ask for some 🎧

Why hello there! It's a pleasure to meet you, it's not everyday that such a distinguished individual comes to visit! Love the moustache, by the way, it must take a lot of effort to keep it looking so trim!

Ohhhhhhh man this is such a beautiful song which I was talking about a while ago with my dear friend @smytherines - would that she were here!

And I don't believe in the existence of angels But looking at you I wonder if that's true But if I did, I would summon them together And ask them to watch over you Well, to each burn a candle for you To make bright and clear your path And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love And guide you into my arms

Just. Augh the desperately wanting the other person to be safe and wanting them to be close by. I'm. Man. This song. Just wonderful.

[darkkitty1208]

My birthday's well and truly over now, but I have to admit—I did not spend it in a way that made me happy. Life has been relentless in kicking my ass as many times and in as many ways as possible, and it has doubled its efforts ever since New Years. It has been Not Great.

But all the lovely birthday gifts and messages and wishes I've received on here and on discord makes my birthday feel special. Like I'm a kid again. This sounds silly but all of it has reminded me that there is love in this world at every corner, and it's always there when you're looking. I am reminded that we are made to love. I will look at these gifts and messages and remind myself that life is worth living and we are worth saving, and I will wake up and choose to love the littler things.

So anyway, I love you guys <3 Thank you sm for making my birthday :)

[aq2003]

rewatching ben whishaw's richard ii and yea i think the biggest difference between his and the rsc version is that he plays richard's flippancy/disregard for other people's lives completely straight and in a kind of sinister way while david plays it for humor

[bluejaybytes]

I’m curious why you found Inside Out 2 insulting? I recognize that everyone is different, but as someone with an anxiety disorder I personally found it pretty relatable

Throughout my teenage years, when my anxiety was at its most debilitating and my coping skills were basically nonexistent, I was repeatedly met with the idea that "every teen is a bit anxious". This, to an extent, is true, being a teenager IS scary and you're probably going to have some level of anxiety. However, I had an active anxiety disorder. I was prone to frequent panic attacks, skipping school because I couldn't even fathom the idea of going to class out of just sheer intense dread and fear, and all around just having an extremely bad time. I went into the movie with an already decently negative expectation because of that, I didn't like how anxiety was shown to show up ONLY when Riley became a teenager, BUT I was willing to set aside my own distaste of it for the sake of like, I do get why they went the direction of adding new emotions as characters, as much as I disagree with that.

However I found it wildly insulting because I feel the level of intense anxiety Riley is shown to have breaches what I'd consider a "normal" level of anxiety and instead feels more like an anxiety disorder, which, again, it angers me to be once again met with the idea that you only get anxious once you're a teenager, or when signs of much higher levels of anxiety than just normal nervousness are brushed aside with that excuse.

Barring that issue, though that is the biggest in my opinion, basically at every corner I was annoyed by something. This movie felt like it could've been incredibly relatable to me, I was a horrendously anxious teen (Still am anxious just not a teen and also I'm better at coping now) in competitive highschool sports (Yes marching band IS a sport I DO die on this hill), but like... it just continually let me down. The coach is genuinely an asshole, doing things like not showing what the expectations are and then proceeding to single out who she knows are the newcomers as breaking rules that had not been properly established, failing to recognize Riley clearly struggling mentally, and honestly, the biggest sin, fucking letting her in the sport at all. Riley's outburst at the other players should've gotten her taken out of the running entirely, I refuse to believe otherwise.

Which, this is kind of all over the place because I'm not really writing this as a full proper breakdown and more just "Jay angrily rambles to an anon with no direction", but hey, SUPER don't like that Riley's over-practicing isn't really called out at all as being harmful. The ROOT of it is, we know she's only doing that because anxiety is driving her to do that, but like... she performs really well. She's met by the older student (I forget her name, God) with positivity for this, and I'm personally just kind of uncomfortable with how her overworking herself is viewed as just like... neutral. And it's only the fact it's stemming from anxiety that's bad.

There's a lot more (I found the pacing bad, I think, ESPECIALLY given that this is a childrens movie, Riley should've been given EXPLICIT help from the people around her barring just "her friends say they're still friends", I think things like anxiety driving her to look at the notebook yet NOT considering the janitor walking by is just... stupid, and in my experience, not at all how anxiety manifests, ect, ect), but ultimately this is not like, a serious breakdown, more just me listing off the top of my head the things that really fucking annoyed me. Also, Ennui was a stupid character. I mean all of the new emotions were fucking stupid because they're all VERY derivative of OTHER emotions if you've made the commitment that the entire range of human emotion be boiled down to just joy/sadness/anger/fear/disgust, but whatever.

I thought the video game guy was funny though. I'm a sucker for those kinds of jokes. I like that his hair routinely was clipping through his outfit

[crescentfool]

beaming everyone on the dashh with good brain day vibes!!! i hope that you all can remember to extend self-compassion to yourself whenever you're feeling down about something 💙

[serial-experiments-rain]

I know nobody's going to read this but I still think it's fascinating, so:

The only reason why I learned what the word witch is in spanish, is because I misused it

Now, all three of you that will read this must understand, I learned French in my childhood, I don't use as much now so it's not nearly as strong, but in French, noise is “bruit”

I had learned that if I can't find a word in spanish, there is nine times out of 10 a rough French equivalent (ouvre la porte/ abra la puerta, for instance)

So, in my infinite wisdom, I tried to find what logically would be the Spanish equivalent of bruit, and I thought to myself hey, there's a word in Spanish that starts with the same letters, b r u, surely they must be in the same thing.

Reader, they were not the same thing.

I don't remember the exact phrase I used, but it was something along the lines of “los ciudads son muy brujas”

Which translates to the “cities are very witches”

My beloved friend corrected me and informed me that the word is “ruidas” which is similar, so I was on the right track.

During the week I spent there, I managed pretty decently on my own, considering that I had been studying Spanish for almost half a year prior to the visit, but even then, my friend spent a lot of their time translating for me, which is great but I could also imagine that it tires someone out.

Whenever my friend went to bed and it was just me and their parents, we had discussions about things like politics and languages, and the differences between our countries and I asked like a lot of questions, things about local history and culture, and all the like, it was some of the most interesting discussions that I've had in my life.

This is in part because I only understood like at most 50% of everything that was said on average,

This was also in part because both parties in discussion were using Google translate and Spanish English dictionaries more often than we'd expected.

We communicated pretty decently, my Spanish was semi-conversational, and I had learned to keep up with the pace of speech in Spanish.

Plus, every time I mentioned that like I'm a traveler, everybody around me was like so surprised that my Spanish sounded good.

It got to a point where I entered a bookstore with my friend in their local city and I asked them for a particular book I'm looking for, and while I didn't get everything I was looking for, I struck up a conversation with the cashier, and it was just so much fun

I don't really have a point I want to make this post actually, it's kind of long and filled with seemingly unrelated short stories, but I think it really emphasizes how alike we are as a species.

These discussions about things like us versus them or the others, it makes it really easy to forget that the average person is just that, a person, most people are enthusiastic and accepting of who you are or will be, and even if we are divided by things like Nations or ideas, we could still unify over things like the sound of frog makes.