#feeling very self indulgent about the circus man and magic man tonight

[dent-de-leon]

Caleb returning the forehead kiss and combing back Molly's hair when he's gone is just so gutting, because Molly was always the very tactile and openly affectionate one. Because early in the campaign Caleb was always so touch-starved, very hesitant to both accept and initiate any sort of physical intimacy. And then by the end, he gives it to Molly so freely. A last moment of warmth and comfort and tenderness, and Mollymauk can't even feel it.

Is it for Molly, or is it for him? "And as the light fades, the body is restored. The wounds are cleaned...but the spirit did not return." "He's lifeless." "He is." But Caleb still tries to comfort him anyway, after all his magic just isn't enough, after his Transmuter's Stone is shattered and all he can do is choke back tears and tell Yasha, "I-I tried..." He still wants to give him a kiss goodbye.

[inktae]

fly me to the moon

↳ fantasy + magician au 

◇ pairing: taehyung | reader ◇ genres: very cheesy fluff, like really fluffy  ◇ word count: 4.977 ◇ warnings: none ◇ author’s note: this was entirely self indulgent and I almost threw up from how sweet it was, but hey, it got me out of my writer’s block :’’’) it was super fun to write, I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

It’s during nights like these that you love and hate magic all at the same time.

Long gone are the ghastly days of running and hiding, when abilities not considered normal were chased instead of celebrated. You are fortunate enough not to have lived through those dark times, but your family did, and their memories are vivid enough for a lifetime. Their past is a heavy reminder of an old battle that your kind won and lost at the same time, a thick scar that is healed but rough to the touch.

It is easy to harbor resentment towards non magic users, but it is also easy to forget a quarrel ever existed when you hold the hands of your customers and read their emotions out loud, receiving gasps of awe and admiration looks from young kids that squeeze your hands back as tightly as they can. All day and night people line up in front of your quaint tent within the Magic Circus, hoping to receive a dose of reality they cannot grasp themselves, because emotions are a tricky thing — they are fleeting and confusing and can transform into something entirely different in less than a second, like playing with the ripples of a fast paced river.

Just like water, you cannot hold them or taste them, but you can feel them rushing between your fingers as they swiftly escape your grasp. Years of experience have helped you read beyond the strongest emotions — love, hate, jealousy —, allowing you to get a sense of what a person is going through just by holding their hands and allowing their energy to pierce your skin in the gentlest way. Helping people understand themselves is more than a circus attraction, and the hectic routine of what almost seems like a normal job sometimes makes you forget what magic is truly about.

Today is one of those days. As always, crumbling marriages seeking to unveil each other’s emotions visited your tent while their kids learn how to fly with the Winged Man, or create fun shapes out of clouds with the infamous group of Alchemists. You cannot be blamed for hating your own magic a tiny bit by the end of the day, sun long gone as the bright lighting of the circus turns it into something else — something livelier and enigmatic, as if mages are starting to steal heaps of energy from the round moon that rises high in the sky. Nights at the Magic Circus are always compelling in ways you cannot explain, a shift in the air that you can never truly enjoy between drawn-out counseling sessions you should not have to get through in the first place.

Tonight is different, though — for the first time in what feels like forever, you decide to close for the night.

“Look who came out of her cave!” Jimin calls from his usual spot — right in the middle of the festival, getting all the attention he not so secretly loves. Jimin’s ability is the complete opposite of yours, flashy and fun and colorful, growing all kinds of plants and flowers from the ground with just a flicker of his hand. If he concentrates enough he is able to grow a mini-forest around his body, with trees that come alive as their branches tease the kids that run and giggle around them. Add his charming smile to the mix and it is no surprise that everyone wants to be around him — it is simply impossible not to smile back at the sight.

You roll your eyes as you approach him, holding back a grin that threatens to break through as unusually big flowers start growing by his side, reaching half his height as they dance vividly. He gently picks one from the ground and presents it in your direction, never losing his smile as he bows meekly.

“A huge yellow dahlia for my favorite mage, even though that might change tonight.”

“Thank you, Jimin,” you take it from him, its overpowering smell making you scrunch your nose slightly. “First of all— my tent is not a cave. Yeah, it’s dark and small, but that’s part of the act. Secondly— why would that change tonight?”

“I knew you liked it when I said you were my favorite,” he laughs, making you huff in embarrassment as your skin heats up faintly. “Well, dear, I’m not surprised you don’t know about tonight. You spend every single day locked up in that cave of yours.”

“It’s not a cave—”

“There’s a new mage in town, and his first act is tonight.”

“A new—” you gape at him. He only smirks and nods, snapping his fingers and transforming the yellow dahlias into purple roses. “How come Namjoon never told me!? I’ve been a mage here for six years now, I deserve to know these things.”

“He doesn’t want to interrupt your flow,” Jimin quotes, using a mocking tone to imitate the ringleader of the circus. “You know how he is. Ever since he intruded on one of Yoongi’s acts he is terrified of interrupting anyone ever again. And since you’re always working, well…”

“Yeah, well, I’m not working tonight.”

“Wait, what?” the flowers around him stop dancing, turning completely still and lifeless.  The kids that surround you both start complaining, but he’s too stunned by your words to pay attention. “Say that again.”

You purse your lips, averting your gaze as hold the flower against your chest. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Wow. It really is, though. When was the last time you took a break?”

You try to remember a time when you got out of the tent to actually look around the circus or have some time for yourself, but nothing comes to mind. “Um.”

“Wow,” he repeats, eyes wide. But then his smile returns and it’s the widest you have ever seen it, as if the prospect of you taking some time off is just as enjoyable as taking a break himself. “I have to thread carefully here, I don’t want to say the wrong thing and make you lock yourself again. I never thought I would see this day coming.”

“Stop it! I’m not going back tonight,” you laugh, feeling a slight nervousness tingling across your skin. The strange feeling inevitably comes with a twinge of embarrassment at the realization that maybe not just Jimin was waiting for this day, and that your self inflicted enslavement might not be as discreet as you thought it was.

“Good,” he nods repeatedly, a little too eagerly. “Well, I actually slacked yesterday so I need to be an entertainer for the rest of the night — but maybe you can get a glimpse of the new mage. Read him a bit, you know. Find out if he’s secretly a serial killer.”

You scratch the back of your neck, biting your lip in deep thought. A new mage is not exactly the best news of the day — just like Jimin, new recruits tend to be just as flashy and bold, but in a pretentious kind of way. It takes them a long time to lose that intensity that comes with being new at the circus, that eager need of being the very best that grates on everyone else. Only after a month or two do they realize it is not a competition, but magicians solely using their skills to entertain, finally turning into normal, tolerable coworkers.

“I don’t know, you know how first acts are painful to see. If they are not awkward, then they’re overly flamboyant. It’s annoying,” you sigh, already knowing you will go see it either way — your curiosity has been piqued, and your mind will not let it go. “What does he do, anyway?”

“That’s the best part,” he smiles again, and a beautiful assortment of flowers and plants grow around him. Spectators gasp and mutter in amazement, making Jimin’s eyes glint with satisfaction. “He is an illusionist.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, I know,” he nods, smiling knowingly. “You of all people should look forward to it.”

You take a step back, still holding tightly onto the dahlia. You return his smile, albeit a little nervously.

“I guess I am now.”

/

One hour later you’re taking a seat in the middle row of the largest tent of the circus, mainly used during massive parades that take place a handful of times a year. You cannot help but feel slightly irritated at how easily this guy snatched an opportunity to present his act in a place like this, which not many mages get for themselves. A part of you knows he must be incredibly good for Namjoon to allow it, but another remains skeptic — after all, you have a soft spot for illusionists, which also makes you inevitably critic of their abilities. If this mysterious mage does not manage to impress you, you’re sure you will be left feeling like something is missing for the rest of the night.

You throw your conflicting feelings to the back of your head as you look around — the show is about to start and spectators are hungry for it already, filling all the seats and murmuring between themselves as everyone anxiously looks at the round stage that rises in the middle. The poster by the entrance did not even announce a name — it only said something along the lines of walk inside and shoot for the stars, which only left your curiosity even more piqued, though not too surprised. Cheesy and boastful, as expected.

As soon as you start feeling somewhat comfortable among the sea of strangers the lights go off, making people cheer and whistle in excitement. The ceiling lights up a few seconds later, except that there is no ceiling anymore — only a bright sky can be seen, stark and cloudless and glinting with stars that are not usually visible around this side of town. The moon is round and uncharacteristically vivid, and your lips part in silent awe as you blink up at the white globe, easily counting the craters dotted across its surface.

You have always believed that illusionists can only recreate scenes they have seen themselves. You have witnessed it with every single mage you have come across with in the past — and unless this is an entirely new skill, you refuse to believe that this person has seen a moon like that, or anyone else for that matter.

“Do you like dreams?”

You jump at the low, smooth voice that crawls across the room, reaching every corner as it tickles up the back of your neck. You try not to let it get to you, still holding onto your skepticism as you hug the flower Jimin gave you.

“I hope you do. Because you are in one right now.”

“That isn’t creepy at all,” you murmur under your breath, noticing the way the stars start moving and dancing with each other. Now you’re sure there is no way he has experienced something like this — and you cannot deny that seeing a new kind of illusionist resurfaces a thrilling feeling in the pit of your stomach, one you have not felt for a long time. New gasps make you blink in confusion, until you look around and realize everyone is looking down at their feet.

You imitate them, almost losing your balance when you notice there is no floor anymore. The tent and the circus are all gone — there is only a boundless space all around you, and stars that dance and a bright moon that is now gradually coming closer, or maybe you are the one that is slowly floating towards it.

You try lifting your feet, laughing quietly as you realize that you can float. The children are already jumping and gyrating across space, worried parents grabbing at their ankles so they don’t float away.

“Look! behind the moon!”

A woman’s voice draws your gaze in said direction, blinking in surprise when you see someone peeking behind it. He smoothly walks out of his hiding place, and his youthfulness strikes you out of nowhere — you definitely expected someone older, with decades of experience and a million stories to tell, not a boy that seems about your age. His contagious smile reminds you of Jimin’s — easy and smooth, though there is something more compelling about him, a detail you cannot pinpoint yet. His golden skin glows under the sharp, exaggerated moon, and his eyes are playful as he looks at the kids warmly. He is dressed for the occasion: an old fashioned black and silver tailcoat, paired with a dark hat that covers his brown hair. Just like the illusionists of the past.

“My name is Kim Taehyung,” he calls, voice amplified so it can be heard by the large crowd. “And yes, you are in actual space right now. I’m not lying!” he insists when the kids start calling him a liar, making you push down a smile. Suddenly the moon starts floating upwards, making him look up in confusion before quickly conjuring up a thick rope.

You watch with amusement as he tries to bring the moon back with the rope, struggling briefly as the heavy looking globe slowly comes back. He gives the rope to a few of the kids in the first row so they can hold the moon during the rest of the show, which glows just as earnestly and casts eerie shadows that dance on Kim Taehyung’s skin.

“Please hold it tightly. If you let it float, we won’t have any lighting and you won’t get to see the rest of my show,” he insists, way too seriously, which makes the children giggle. Looking over the spectators again, he places his hands on his hips, easy smile back in place. “Now— let me start off by saying that you are all in my dream right now, so please be gentle. Some embarrassing stuff might pop up from time to time, so just… ignore it.”

You laugh with the public, half astounded at his words. You do not have time to wonder about his abilities, though — the show finally begins and you’re immediately sucked inside the illusions he continues to create, with a mastery that definitely does not belong to a newbie as he effortlessly takes you all from one universe to another. He makes you see the countless worlds he built in his dreams, characters from his childhood that make the children scream in delight and enigmatic creatures that only belong in fairytales and fantasy books.

All the while the moon hovers above your heads, its glow warm and comforting until the end of the show. You do not know how much time passes until he finally takes the rope from the kids and lets its go, allowing the moon to go back in place as you all float back to the ground. The last thing you see before going back to reality is a starry night, with stars that look like raw diamonds winking down at your awed faces.

You feel slightly dazed as you realize you’re back in the tent, glancing around and noticing that everyone else looks just as perplexed. Taehyung, now standing on the stage with a presence that draws everyone in, bows and smiles apologetically.

“You will feel a little shaken for a few minutes, sorry about that. But take it as a lesson: dreams can be like an entirely different universe, just as beautiful and mysterious, though dangerous if you end up going too far. Enjoy your reality as if they were your dreams. Thank you, and good night.”

People start clapping, some enthusiastically and some slowly as they gradually come back from Taehyung’s intense illusions. As soon as you see flowers being thrown in his direction you cannot help yourself — suddenly overcome with a boldness you never felt before, you throw your giant dahlia at him, falling right at his feet as he looks down in surprise. He grabs it and stares at it while beaming, walking down the stairs as he looks around, eyes searching. Looking for you.

“That was mine!” you yell with a smile, lifting your hand as you forget all about your usual embarrassment. And just as his eyes find yours his smile all but vanishes, time slowing down as he misses a step and loses his balance. Roughly face planting to the ground, before lying completely still.

Well, damn.

/

You’re up on your feet the moment you see Taehyung moving, stirring on the bed and groaning in pain as he slowly opens his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I distracted you and made you fall on your first show. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. That was so—”

Your words vanish when he starts chuckling, voice rough as he slowly sits up. “That was hilarious.”

You blink in confusion, smiling after a few seconds. “It kind of was. But I’m still sorry. Here,” you reach towards the beside table, giving him a painkiller and a glass of water. He takes it and swallows it down, finally looking into your eyes as he slowly comes back to life. You sit on the edge of the bed, suddenly self-conscious as his eyes roam across your face.

“Hello,” he says, looking slightly stunned.

“Uh, hi,” you reply, smiling awkwardly. “I made you fall. I was the one who threw that ridiculous flower.”

“Ah, where is it? I really liked it. It was huge,” he runs a hand across his tousled hair, holding back a yawn. He touches his forehead when he realizes there is a bandage covering a patch of skin above his left eyebrow, pursing his lips. “Did I bleed? I hope that didn’t scare the kids.”

“Only a little. Our doctor already checked up on you and you’re okay, so don’t worry. And the flowers are in that corner—” you point at the wooden chair placed next to the entrance of the bedroom, small but cozy and exactly like your own. “This is your room, by the way. I’m not sure if Namjoon already showed it to you, but just in case… well, welcome. I work here as well.”

“Work,” he repeats, chuckling. “Okay.”

“What?” you ask, genuinely curious, but he shakes his head, looking into your eyes again.

“I did not imagine this is how I was going to be introduced to my new life here, but it could be worse. Way worse. Thank you for the welcome.”

With the hat and jacket long gone and a sleepy expression replacing the captivating look he wore on stage, he looks even younger and way less intimidating. Had you met him like this before, you would have never guessed he was such a skilled illusionist. You almost hit yourself at how judgmental you have been all day, reminding yourself that no matter how they look, anyone can become a great illusionist. Anyone who is born with such skills, that is.

There’s a strange warmth stirring under your chest at the vulnerable look in his eyes, which you defiantly ignore as you clear your throat and extend your hand in his direction. You tell him your name and wait for him to take it, which he slowly holds and shakes gently.

“I’m Taehyung. Which you already know, since you went to my show, and all. Thank you for that. It’s—”

“Why are you so nervous?” you blurt out, inevitably relishing the soft touch of his hand while also reading the swarm of emotions that suddenly zips through your veins. “Your show was great— except the fall, of course. But it was great. Don’t worry, the public liked you a lot.”

“Uh…” he slowly lets your hand go, and the embarrassment that disappeared during Taehyung’s show comes back at full force.

“Ah, sorry! I read emotions when I touch people. Sorry again,” you moan, covering your cheeks. “Shouldn’t have done that without your permission.”

“Stop— stop apologizing,” he laughs, eyes glinting with amusement. His smile makes you exhale in relief, though your hand still stings with traces of his own nervousness. “Ah… I need to show you something. I hope I can walk,” he mutters as he gets up, leaving you puzzled as he slowly puts on his shoes and jacket. “Come with me. I know I’m a stranger, but this is kind of important.”

His words make you hesitate, but his inviting expression leaves no room for suspicion.

“Okay… sure,” you nervously follow him out of the room and into the darkness of the outside, and the real moon seems small and dull as it casts its weak glimmer above the various tents and trailers of the circus, which still brims with life with countless night acts. Surprisingly, he seems to know his way around — and your breath catches when he leads you both directly towards your own tent, noticeably smaller than the rest. A large poster that reads Take my hand and let your feelings be heard is placed right in front of the opening, now uncharacteristically closed.

The illusionist stops and looks in your direction, and the nerves you felt through his skin finally start to show on his face as he smiles quietly.

“And now I’m going to show you a moment of the past, one you probably don’t even remember.”

A quick snap of his fingers alters the scene in its entirety. Suddenly the tent is open and there is a long line of people waiting outside, as per usual. You gape silently as Taehyung leads you inside your own tent, completely invisible to the people in line as you both barge in one of your old sessions. Your memory stirs as you struggle to remember the person that sits across a younger version of you, one that had only been working on the circus for one year and was starting to learn how to take her ability to the next level.

The boy has his face completely covered. He is wearing sunglasses, a mouth mask and black hat, and anyone could tell he is being too obvious about not wanting his identity to be revealed. You faintly remember not caring about that, fully focused on his emotions rather than his appearance, and it all slowly comes back to you as the younger version of you holds his hand and concentrates on the boy’s troubled feelings.

“You seem confused,” your younger version says, in a low voice that cannot filter outside. “A bit all over the place. I can sense a lot of strong emotions, and anger is among them. Frustration, sadness, tiredness. Maybe, um… I think… there are things you want to achieve, but you’re unsure of how to go about it. Am I right?”

The covered boy nods, not saying a word. Your younger version tries to look at him in the eye, and a smile that seems sad extends her lips. “I can also sense magic in you. I apologize if I’m overstepping a boundary here, but… you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you can do. Don’t be afraid of it. Whatever it is, no matter how ridiculous it is, it’s a wonderful thing. I... used to hate my skill, you know. But one year ago I came to this circus and met the fist mage that actually impressed me, a great illusionist named Namjoon— he made me see that maybe it’s not so bad to be like this. He showed me that it can be a good thing. That it can help yourself and others.”

You blush as you see the way they hold hands a little bit tighter — you do not remember that part. But then the smile in your younger self’s face grows noticeably bigger, probably due to a positive shift in the boy’s emotions, and a warmth full of satisfaction swells up your chest.

“Promise me that you’re going to stop ignoring what you truly are. Losing yourself is not worth whatever struggles you might face. You could also, um… take a look around the circus tonight. Go see how nice it can be, and how much we enjoy doing what we do.”

The masked boy nods and slowly lets go. Taehyung snaps his fingers again, only to reveal the empty and darkened inside of your tent, and you slowly walk outside before turning in his direction, feeling silently astounded. He is smiling, though his expression is smaller and shier than before.

“That was you, wasn’t it?” you ask quietly.

“Yep,” he scratches the back of his head, cheeks turning darker with a blush. “I was having trouble controlling my abilities at the time, and… well, you can imagine how embarrassing it was when I accidentally showed people what I dreamt about. I got made fun of quite frequently. But enough of my sob story— thanks to you I was able to push through it and let a kid hold the moon tonight! How amazing is that?” he exclaims, beaming as he looks up at the dark sky. “My family doesn’t like mages, neither the friends I had for that matter, which is why I was hiding myself under that stupid attire that night. And I had this stupider office job that I didn’t even know what was about. Still don’t know to this day, honestly.”

You smile gently, walking alongside him as his words swim within the walls of your mind. The noise of the circus fills the atmosphere, and laughter and loud voices ring cheerfully from every direction. His presence is starting to become more and more comforting, though knowing that you helped him become what he is today still feels too preposterous to believe. That fact, added to his honest words about his previous life, give you too much to wonder to be able to mutter a response.

As if on cue, he pokes at your temple playfully, making you blink at him.

“You think too much, don’t you?”

“I mean, that’s my job,” you smile, looking down. “I read emotions, and I think about them so I can help others.”

“Uh-uh. Don’t say that again.”

“What?”

“That’s my job,” he repeats, halting his steps. You stop in front of him, frowning as he raises his eyebrows. “It’s not your job. It’s your gift, silly.”

You part your lips, feeling slightly offended. “Of course it is— hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m making you fly,” he smiles playfully, holding your hand so you don’t float away. “Workplaces don’t allow people to fly. That’s a fact. Which means this is not a workplace. Hence not a job.”

“You’re an illusionist, you can’t make people fly,” you huff, racking your brain to figure out how the hell he’s doing it.

“Hush, I can. Don’t think about it, just enjoy the way your feet don’t touch the ground.”

It is enjoyable, in some bizarre way. Though that might have more to do with Taehyung’s hand and the strange, warm feeling he’s oozing, one you have not felt yourself but recognize from the countless hands you hold each day. It makes your heart pump strongly in ways that remind you of your first days in the Magic Circus, when it was all new and exciting, when Namjoon’s illusions had just made you realize that you wanted to love and nourish your magic, to use it for great, big things, just like everyone else in this place did.

And no, it is not love. But it certainly feels similar to it.

Taehyung is smiling and you cannot help but smile back, a grin that feels loose and genuine in your face, and for the first time in ages do you remember how nice it feels to let your magic flow and surge freely, as if it had a mind of its own.

Your smile falters when you notice a bunch of colorful flowers growing around you two — making you frown as the blush on your face deepens considerably.

“That’s a little bit too much, Taehyung.”

He blinks, smile faltering as he looks around in confusion. “Wow— that isn’t me.”

Eyes widening, your embarrassment spreads furiously as you hear Jimin’s laughter twinkling behind you, and Taehyung quickly allows you to step down again so you can glare at your friend. The illusionist has not let go of your hand yet, and you can feel his own fluster mixing with your own, though there is also a bit of joy in them.

“I’m sorry, but that looked so cute I almost threw up— I just had to,” Jimin chuckles. “Glad you’re getting along with your new coworker.”

“Shut up— and he’s not a coworker,” you say, crossing your arms above your chest. Jimin gives a satisfied nod at that, as if hoping for that kind of answer.

“Well, me and a few others are going to grab some dinner — if you guys want to join us you’re welcome, though I understand if you want to keep looking at each other all night. Won’t judge.”

You look at Taehyung, ignoring your awkwardness as you give him a questioning smile. He nods eagerly, eyes gleaming with excitement.

“Hell yes, my time to impress the other mages has come,” Taehyung quickly joins Jimin as the latter laughs, and you roll your eyes as you quickly follow them. You listen to their conversation with a smile, heart swelling. “Would it be too much if I made one of them hold the moon?”

“Definitely,” Jimin replies. “Act normal and they will like you. Not sure about Yoongi, though.”

Their conversation flows naturally and you listen to it quietly, looking up and observing the round moon in all of its dimmed splendor. Illusions can be stunning, and Taehyung’s are definitely one of the best you have ever seen, but maybe the real thing is not too bad either.

You smile to yourself, already aware that you will definitely be taking more nights off from now on, especially if they involve a boy that likes to shoot for the stars.