#feferi's face on things

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Murder, Love, and Destiny: An Eridan Ampora Character Study

Warnings for things from Homestuck, like discussions of child abuse, mental illness, murder, suicide, etc. etc.

Because there's a huge wall of text after this point, I'm going to summarize what I hope to convince you of in bullet point format, and then hope you'll actually read the rest of the text before arguing with me about it.

Eridan is the least casteist highblood, if you ignore all the slurs.

Those are his emotional support slurs.

Pale EriKar was not only canon, but set up to be endgame.

Eridan is incredibly plot-relevant, thematically relevant, and was definitely originally intended to be brought back to life, alongside the other dead trolls.

He's Sad.

The first thing we have to establish is what counts as "canon" for the purpose of this essay. I am only counting the original comic up to Game Over, after which there's a general consensus that Hussie kind of gave up on his original planned ending, and slapped together something that most people hate. So I am immediately disqualifying Pesterquest, supplementary material, fanworks deemed canon, the epilogues, and Homestuck^2.

Moreover, we are taking Hussie's commentaries with a grain of salt, for two reasons. The first reason is that I firmly believe - and will be arguing - that the original plan was to bring Eridan (and the other dead trolls) back; therefore, Hussie (who has a track record of playing coy with future plot twists) can't speak too fondly of him, lest he give it away. The second reason for de-emphasizing Hussie's words is that, post-retcon, Hussie isn't very well going to say that he had plans for a better ending, and then didn't execute on them; to save face, he has to act as though his trashing of several prior plot threads, including but not limited to Eridan, was the plan all along.

Therefore, this essay will not be putting too much emphasis on Word of God, and will instead be relying on textual evidence from the comic itself, of which there is plenty. So without further ado:

Eridan is a Consummate Murderer.

The reason I'm starting with this point is that, far more than any other, this truth lies at the core of his being. Eridan is formally introduced to us with a murder, and he's haunted by an overpowering genocide complex. He outright describes to Rose at one point that "killin is all i evver done practically," and uses "murder" as an expletive (ie "swweet stinkin murder"). With a conservative estimate of 5 kills per week for 4 sweeps (Vriska looks VERY young when she has to start killing, and Eridan was likely a similar age when he began), both Eridan and Vriska easily have bodycounts above 2000 - the real number is probably even higher.

At this point, many raise an objection that Eridan is only killing lusii, but I believe we need to count his kills as troll murders, for three reasons: first, a dead lusus results in the orphaned troll being culled; second, one has to assume he has had cases of trolls trying to defend their lusii, or coming after him for vengeance; and third - and most importantly - Eridan HIMSELF is thinking about the orphaned trolls.

Compare Feferi: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. At least until she dies.

To Eridan: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere very sad.

So Eridan, to a much greater extent than even Feferi, is thinking about the orphaned trolls he's leaving behind, and considers his own actions to be murder.

Now that we've established the facts regarding his murders - a rough bodycount, and the fact that, by his own admission, he barely had any hobbies outside of it - we can move on to the effect that it's had on him. It's not very good!

Vriska's manipul8tions and murders had to be done for her own sake - if she ever stopped, she died. Therefore, much of Vriska's personality revolves around justifying her own actions so she doesn't have to reckon with her softer feelings, like guilt or kindness - which she expresses would be viewed as scandalous by others of her caste.

But if Eridan ever stops feeding Gl'bgolyb, everybody dies. The stakes he has riding on his shoulders are, at all times, the fate of all trolls, including all his friends. Given Dualscar's title was "Orphaner," it's implied that killing lusii for Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's duty, and is seen as such by the others, which is why nobody expresses gratitude for his hard work even a single time.

Which brings us to our next point:

Eridan is Crushed by Anxiety.

If Eridan stops killing lusii, everybody - especially his friends, but everybody else, too - dies.

If Eridan ever shows guilt or kindness, he'll be considered "weak" by the standards of highbloods - he shares this with Vriska.

Eridan is expected, by aristocratic tradition, to take on the mantle of his ancestor Dualscar and finish his work. Dualscar met a comedically cringefail end, so this is a massive undertaking.

Before finding out that god tiering is an option - so, for nearly his entire life - Eridan has had to live with the expectation that he will outlive all of his friends. The lowbloods from culling or dying on the battlefield, the highbloods from old age, and Feferi from being killed by the Empress when she gets old enough.

(This is reflected in who he talks to the most - Feferi, who's the only one with a natural lifespan longer than his, Vriska, who's a highblood, Kanaya, who's practically guaranteed to survive into adulthood, and Karkat, whose anonblood allows Eridan to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Also if he can't land his concupiscent quadrants he'll die from that too, but that seems pretty secondary to the rest of his concerns.

He can't even make friends with the other highbloods, because sea dwellers are expected to hate and antagonize them.

He had a free ticket into adulthood, but would almost certainly be expected to join the army and serve as a commander. That is to say, his fate of performing the role of a vicious, murderous sea dweller seems dreadfully inevitable to him.

NO WONDER he can't stop having emotional breakdowns. NO WONDER his chatlogs swing wildly from relentless self-aggrandizement to traumadumping. NO WONDER he's obsessed with murder and death and genocide.

Doc Scratch calls him a "vengeful boy on the path of nihilism," and it's not hard to see why: Eridan's entire life has been about living up to the role imposed on him by society, sacrificing his own time and sanity for everyone else, which he "nevver got any appreciation for anywway." And all he had to look forward to was more of the same, all his friends dropping dead one by one before him. For Eridan, there has never been any hope.

SGRUB could have been a way out for him, but a combination of his own terrible choices, spurred on by his anxieties, and his teammates' unwillingness to knock some sense into him, meant that he only wound up mired even deeper in his hopelessness.

We all know about how Eridan wouldn't stop killing the angels on his planet, provoking their aggression and turning it into a ball of death. How he was definitely not supposed to be doing this, and how his stubborn insistence on it led to his further ostracization from the rest of the group. The thing is, when we look at his angel-murders from the point of view that Eridan's entire life has been about murdering things or else Something Bad™ happens, it actually starts to become... kind of sad.

KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB. KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN? ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties

Killing the angels is something he feels like his has to do, because his entire life has been about killing things he doesn't want to kill. He's unable to break out of that mindset on his own, and his unpleasant personality has scared off anyone who might want to help. No one on the team tries to understand his thought process on a deeper level, not even Karkat, who just tells him it was an idiotic thing to do without addressing his underlying anxieties at all. Indeed, "nobody understands."

And this is really the root of why I think so many people get the wrong read on Eridan - Eridan is constantly contradicting himself, constantly denying his own feelings, constantly pushing an image that he doesn't actually believe in, and constantly insisting that he's fine with all the horrible shit in his life - that he likes it, even. After all, he can't admit to his guilt for his murders, or how much he doesn't want to watch his friends die, or how scared he is about the future - that'd be weakness!

CC: I can't look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

You see his contradictory nature with his stated love of history, which he only ever offhandedly mentions - because he's not actually that interested in history, it's just something that's expected of someone of his station. And you see it with his wavy accent, which he himself calls "weird" and drops when he's trying to be emotionally sincere. And you see it with his dumbass outfit, which is very clearly an imitation of Dualscar (with the only exception being the wizard-ass scarf, because wizards are his actual interest. I don't believe he likes fashion. I genuinely believe - and Eridan himself says so - that he basically has no hobbies outside of murder).

Even being proud to be a sea dweller is pretty much an outright lie:

CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

One that he tells because he's SCARED OF THE OCEAN. Because he knows what lives in the ocean, because he's been feeding it his entire life. I see a lot of people who give Eridan an interest in marine life, and I'm telling you, that's just got no basis in canon. He's fucking TERRIFIED of the sea.

And for that matter, land dweller genocide. Eridan doesn't want to do it. Both Feferi AND his internal narration call him out for not actually wanting to do it. He outright states he wouldn't kill his friends.

CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

But he feels like he HAS to want it, HAS to believe in it, HAS to be talking about it constantly, because that's what's expected from him as a sea dweller, and a sea dweller is ALL that he will get to be. The mutation that puts a violet streak in his hair is damning. It's a fate he feels like he can't escape. Which brings us to:

Eridan is Not Actually Casteist, Well He Is But Not Like That, It's Complicated

Secondary title: Those Are His Emotional Support Slurs, Okay

In the exact same vein (haha) as secretly not wanting all the land dwellers dead, Eridan also genuinely doesn't feel like he's better than lower blood castes. Vriska and Equius obviously put quite a bit of stock into being nobility, and both have acted superior to Karkat for it. Feferi actually revels in her high status, and while she is genuinely well-meaning, she's not as interested in abolishing casteism as she is in changing the meaning of "culling" specifically (the hemocaste, aristocracy, and casteism still very much exist in a Beforus under her rule). Gamzee MIGHT be the only highblood less casteist than Eridan, but then again, as soon as he snaps, he does say a lot of casteist stuff to Equius, although it's unclear how serious he is, and he also proceeds to get really into his weird highblood clown cult.

Meanwhile, Eridan - despite all his slurs and talk of genocide - does not actually try to "pull rank" on a lowblood for being a lower caste than him with a single exception. That exception is Sollux... after he's already shown having entirely caste-neutral opinions on Sollux:

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete! CA: man that guy CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB. CC: 38P CA: fuck SORRY CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life. CA: yeah sorry

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her CA: so forget it thanks anywway

It's only AFTER he's mad at Sollux for dating Feferi that he starts going in on Sollux with casteist rhetoric... which is treated as unrequited flirting and not serious casteism:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

THEY don't even think he's being casteist.

In fact, directly contradicting this earlier argument he has with Feferi:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38( CA: pshh CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

He OUTRIGHT states his real feelings here:

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody CA: im worse than anybody CA: EVERYBODY CA: all the bodies

So the question of "is Eridan casteist" has an answer of "kind of, but also no." Eridan DOES espouse the rhetoric; he's constantly saying stuff that a casteist sea dweller "should" be saying. However, if you look at his ACTIONS, and the way he actually treats people, he doesn't actually care about blood color. He'll hit on anybody, and he's rude as fuck to everybody. The real problem with him is that he's terrible to talk to, not that he's discriminatory.

That's the thing about Eridan. Understanding him means looking past the way he presents himself, the lies he tells to himself, and even, at times, the way the narration presents him. His "overblown emotional theatrics" seem a lot less overblown when his problems ARE so real, deep-seated, and constantly causing him an unimaginable amount of anguish.

The problem is, the main people he has to bounce those problems against are Feferi, Vriska, and Kanaya, three of the people most comfortable with their privileged positions, for whom Eridan's genuine emotional distress seems like needless melodrama. Feferi loves being a princess, Vriska enjoys her noble privileges, Kanaya doesn't need to worry about culling. But for Eridan, his noble status, and the duties and expectations placed on him for it, have caused him nothing but pain - of course he would feel like nobody understands. Most of his closest friends genuinely don't, nor do they try to.

Because that's what he is at his core - a traumatized fucking child, who doesn't see any way out. Eridan is not a casteist genocidal sea dweller... he just wishes he was one, and tries to be one, because if he actually was one, he wouldn't feel so awful and scared and sad all the time. He'd be normal, like his friends.

The reason he constantly spouts anti-land dweller rhetoric and uses casteist language is to assuage this cognitive dissonance. That's why he has to come off so strong, present himself in such an aggrandized way, act like such a douchebag. They're his emotional support slurs. He doesn't actually believe what he says, which means he's a Bad Sea Dweller, which means he's Failing, which means Something Bad Will Happen, so he'd better get his ass in line and say something casteist!

And it's all made worse because:

Eridan is Dumb of Ass (and True of Word)

Oh my god you guys he's so stupid that it hurts.

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Eridan is clearly well-educated and book smart; he has some of the most elegant prose out of the trolls, and he's prone to going off on insane rants with it. (Actually, his language gets more flowery and showy when he's trying to impress a stranger, and gets progressively more laid back, chill, and even kind of "bro"-y when he starts talking to people he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.)

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

What I mean is this: his brain is so full of anxiety and cognitive dissonance and murder and death that he struggles to care about other people, which has devastating effects on his social skills. I go really in-depth on how his though process informs his behavior here. The question may have popped up in your mind already: if his casteism stuff isn't actually real, then what is Eridan actually like? The answer is, overwhelmingly, and discomfortingly, SINCERE.

This boy is gunning at 100% emotional earnestness 100% of the time, and it's deeply uncomfortable for others to deal with. He'll swing wildly from insults and derogatory language, to stating a desire to kill all land dwellers, to awe and amazement at his friends' prowess, to demanding that they do things for him, to traumadumping and venting, without missing a beat. Often in the same conversation.

CA: kan its hard GA: What CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

He's also specifically terrible at parsing hostility. Functionally, he interprets all hostility aimed AT him as either pitch/ashen flirting or "ironic repartee," and similarly views his own hostile words as verbal jousting, pitch/ashen advances, or even just factual descriptions of the world around him (ie calling Nepeta a "kittycat shipper cavve girl"). Hostility and aggression are just kind of his baseline, default state of being, and he basically has no ability to differentiate between good and bad attention. I talk more in-depth about his emotionally bereft upbringing (and shitty lusus) here, but suffice to say that our boy isn't getting any emotional support at home, and as a result, craves attention, no matter what kind.

This also means he's insanely gullible. For example, Rose calls him an idiot to his face, and then blows up his computer, sarcastically calling it "your first lesson in showmanship." Eridan proceeds to literally considers it that, blowing up Jade's computer after he's done talking to her. Furthermore, Kanaya sees him as a burden, insults him to his face, and pretty much just bullies him along with Rose for fun.

So she trains Eridan to become a powerful white wizard of hope to challenge her, as a joke.

And yet, in spite of all that, Eridan still has nothing but gratitude and praise for Kanaya:

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you KANAYA: For What ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic ERIDAN: wwhat KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

Like, he's in the middle of genuinely thanking her for believing in him, she makes fun of him to his face, and his response is to laugh it off and offer to teach her how to properly insult someone. It's honestly... kind of sad. Not that he doesn't deserve the ridicule, but what we're seeing here is a traumatized, emotionally neglected boy trying to communicate the best that he can that he loves and appreciates his friends, and receiving nothing but mockery in return.

It's really not a surprise, then, that he goes off the deep end. His entire life prior to the game has been shit; he got broken up with as soon as he entered the game (by someone who didn't even care enough not to use fish puns while doing it); he's ostracized and avoided for the game's duration; and then he spends the rest of his time on the meteor being bullied. He feels deeply hopeless and anxious about their situation because he literally doesn't know how else to exist, and his concerns are dismissed and mocked at every turn. When Feferi turns on him with intent to kill, that's his breaking point.

I see a lot of people say he goes grimdark, or succumbs to external influence somehow, but I don't think that needs to be true (nor is it) - he's just a deeply traumatized kid with almost no support network who's finally been pushed to the edge, despite displaying every possible warning sign and making multiple cries for help. Yes, ultimately, he's guilty for his own actions, but his killing spree - alongside Gamzee's and Vriska's - represents a cohesive failure as a team to address very clear problems in their midst.

So Feferi and Kanaya are sick of his ass. Sollux hates him platonically, Equius doesn't like him, and Nepeta thinks of him as a creep. Vriska is his awkward ex, and Terezi agrees with him when he calls himself pathetic. He never interacts with Tavros, Aradia, or sober!Gamzee. Is there anyone that treats him nicely?

Uh, okay, so I swear this isn't shipping goggles -

Pale EriKar Is Canon And I Can Prove It

So, I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: you can ship what you want to ship. I don't mind. I don't care. Headcanons are valid, death of the author, etc. What you do in your free time is up to you.

What I am attempting to argue in this section is that an Eridan/Karkat moirallegiance was heavily foreshadowed, one of the most heavily foreshadowed things in the entire comic, and - assuming that the original ending of Homestuck included all the dead trolls being brought back and redeemed - was going to be endgame. There's a torrential amount of evidence pointing to this, and very little of it is acknowledged even by the EriKar shippers, which is a shame.

At the very least, I'll be happy if I can convince some Karkat RPers to be extra nice to Eridans, because they are actually just friends who care deeply about each other. Canonically.

The first thing to note is that Eridan and Karkat, at least prior to SGRUB, talk all the time, to the point where Feferi feels the need to comment on it:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro. CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember. CA: maybe CA: seems kinda CA: odd though

("Can you please stop having an emotional affair with Karkat" "Eh, I'll think about it")

The second thing to note is what the contents of those conversations entail. Sure, they "gossip," but it goes deeper than that, because they gossip about things that Karkat would NEVER gossip about with anybody else, because Karkat usually respects his "VERY GOOD FRIEND"s. For example, here Eridan mentions that Karkat has speculated on Kanaya's love life with him:

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

And it's not even a one-off thing, because here Karkat is again, mentioning Nepeta's crush on him:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK? KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL. KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

It's a situation he's been trying to "tiptoe around for a long time," and he tells ERIDAN, of all people? MULTIPLE TIMES? (AND HE ALSO TELLS ERIDAN THAT THE REJECTION WASN'T HIS FAULT???? WHAT??????)

So we've established that they talk frequently and about some pretty seriously sensitive topics. But did you know that they also talk about... their feelings?

See, the thing is, Karkat has always been weirdly nice to Eridan. Here he is in a memo near the very beginning of their game, when Karkat is at his most "rah rah, I'm the big bad leader":

FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Compare that to Tavros asking for advice later down in the same memo:

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

He then proceeds to dispense no actual love advice; he just points out that Vriska can totally read this memo too, and then mocks them both when she shows up - thus making it clear that he is giving Eridan special treatment.

You see it again in his discussion with Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, where Eridan invokes a "pact" between them, and Karkat immediately plays nice with him, despite himself being extremely high-strung and stressed out:

KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.

That's definitely pity, which Karkat states to be the basis of all relationships besides pitch. But, sure, okay, Karkat is sometimes nice to his friends. He is, after all, the Friendship Troll, so that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. But how about the fact that it goes both ways?

That's right, Eridan "100% aggro 100% of the time" Ampora is actually really considerate toward Karkat's feelings, and basically nobody else's. Upon hearing that Karkat is distressed that Sollux has died, Eridan actively puts his own meltdown about his breakup with Feferi on pause:

TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that CA: are you sayin hes dead TC: YeAh :o( CA: oh fuck CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

He then goes on to chastise Gamzee for his shitty advice, demanding to be given the chance to comfort Karkat himself instead:

TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT TC: i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG TC: HoNk CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter CA: put kar on

Before finally giving up when Gamzee insists he's "too scared of Jack" to help, drinking some Faygo, and trying to ask past Karkat for help, because past Karkat isn't sad yet about Sollux dying. So, to recap,

Eridan's first instinct when in emotional duress is to go to Karkat.

Eridan feels like he knows Karkat well enough to know that Gamzee's advice would be useless (and is proven right by the fact that Gamzee and Karkat's moirallegiance fails for similar reasons).

Eridan is willing to shelve his own emotional meltdown for Karkat's sake.

Eridan demands to be the one to provide Karkat with emotional support.

And this is, again, not a one-off thing. In the memo Karkat opens right after Eridan and Gamzee have both turned murderous, after he's spent several minutes making death threats toward Eridan and insulting him directly, he goes:

CCG: I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. PCA: yeah i knoww wwhat its like you wwanna talk about it

Eridan spends this entire memo under the belief that it's a completely run-of-the-mill conversation they're having:

PCA: i mean yeah obvviously i kneww you wwerent serious PCA: i guess i appreciate the effort youre puttin into cheerin me up PCA: i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor CCG: UGH, NO PCA: are you busy PCA: you said youd try to make it to lowwaa soon wwell howw about it

Which implies that offering to listen to Karkat's feelings is also a completely regular thing for them.

But something magical is ALSO happening within this last memo, and to really explain it, I'll first have to be a little mean to the GamKar shippers (sorry).

So, canonically, GamKar doesn't work out for them, despite also being somewhat foreshadowed. In fact, they feature on Nepeta's shipping wall, which is actually, in my opinion, foreshadowing that it WOULDN'T work out. (Nepeta's ships being wrong, and shipping being something she needs to learn to outgrow, is a whole essay on its own, that I'm not getting into here.)

But the thing is, the seeds for them not working out were also planted in the first - and only - real post-moirallegiance interaction that they have with each other, where Gamzee tries to calm Karkat down... and FAILS:

GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o( ... KARKAT: OK KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. KARKAT: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD RELAX. KARKAT: AND BREATHE. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT ARE MOIRAILS FOR, RIGHT? KARKAT: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, I STOP YOU FROM KILLING EVERYBODY, THEN YOU RETURN THE FAVOR AND CALM ME DOWN AND I JUST KARKAT: BREATHE KARKAT: LIKE KARKAT: THIS... KARKAT: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK, THAT SUN IS BRIGHT. KARKAT: CALL ME CRAZY, BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO RELAX WITHIN A STONE'S THROW FROM, OH, I GUESS ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR ANY MORTAL HAS EVER LAID EYES ON. ... KARKAT: BUT I MEAN, CAN THIS BE HEALTHY? KARKAT: AREN'T WE GOING TO GET BURNED OR HAVE OUR RETINAS SCORCHED BY LOOKING AT IT? KARKAT: OH GOD I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

But let's go back to that memo where Karkat is freaking out in every way possible. This is how he starts that memo - so upset about the deaths of his friends and terrified by Gamzee that he can barely string together a coherent thought:

CCG: WE ARE SO SCREWED. CCG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. CCG: GUYS, I AM TERRIFIED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CCG: I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF BODIES, AND I THINK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN MY BACK ON THEM? CCG: OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD A HONK. ... CCG: FEFERI, I'M SORRY. CCG: IT WAS MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. PCC: Sorry for w)(at?? CCG: FOR CCG: I CCG: I CAN'T DO THIS CCG: IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME, I'M SORRY.

In fact, he's so distressed that he bans Past!Feferi and Past!Gamzee almost immediately after they come in. But then Eridan comes in, and... I mean, first of all, just compare how long it takes for him to ban Eridan:

But more interesting are the contents of their conversation. Over the course of talking to Eridan... Karkat completely calms the fuck down. Like he's entirely forgotten that he's shitting his pants with fear. In fact, he even starts critiquing Eridan for his dumbassery:

PCA: evven if i wwasnt compelled to think you wwere still bein flippant and ironic wwith me you cant exactly outright reject me can you CCG: WHY NOT PCA: cause youre future you PCA: doesnt count unless its present you til then its all fair game CCG: IS THIS REAL, ARE YOU BEING IRONIC OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T EVEN TELL ANYMORE CCG: THE PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T PUT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR PAST YOU AT ALL, SO I DON'T KNOW. ... CCG: YOU'RE KILLING ANGELS NOW, AREN'T YOU PCA: no CCG: YOU ARE KILLING FUCKING ANGELS, RIGHT NOW, IN THE PAST, WITH YOUR SHITTY GUN. I JUST KNOW IT. PCA: wwell uh PCA: therere just so damn many kar and theyre not gettin any less bloody pissed is the thing CCG: THIS IS WHY IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US, MAN.

It's extremely funny. Over the course of talking to Eridan, he goes from:

CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

To:

CCG banned PCA from responding to memo. CCG: ANYWAY CCG: THAT'S IT I GUESS.

Eridan isn't even trying to calm Karkat down. He still succeeds in doing so. This is because they are soul mates. And I mean that in the sense that the comic literally calls being moirails soul mates, which it doesn't do for the other quadrants:

A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

That "social purpose" being that an even-tempered troll calms down a more hot-tempered one, and vice versa.

It also goes on to note:

But some pale pairings, as the one above [referring to a picture of Nepeta and Equius], will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

But what's really interesting is the next page.

And yet others will seem to have been hatched for each other.

Did you catch that? Let me zoom in.

(Also, the blue and red cuttlefish to represent Sollux - Feferi and Sollux spend the whole game together, and even wind up talking about their feelings constantly in a pile - more on piles in a sec.)

In fact... in Eridan's first visual appearance...

The crab has always been there for him.

It's also important to talk about the bottle of Faygo that's been photoshopped to be candy red, Karkat's blood color. The path that it takes actually directly mirrors Karkat's relationships with Gamzee and Eridan - it's initially something that Gamzee has, but winds up being ejected out of his life, and washes up on Eridan's shore. In fact:

TC: SnAtCh aN IcEcOlD, dOg TC: MoThErFuCkIn cHuG ThAt sHiT LiKe yOu aNd tHe bOtTlE WaS ReUnItEd lOvErS CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin CA: is that wwhat this is TC: YeAh mAn SlAm A FaYgO CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand TC: ArE YoU MoThErFuCkIn sUrE AbOuT ThAt? CA: oh CA: oh god youre right i do CA: i totally forgot about it TC: YoU SeE MaN TC: MoThEr TC: FuCkIn TC: MiRaClEs TC: :o)

When Gamzee and Eridan discuss this exact bottle, Gamzee even likens it to "reunited lovers"; it's something that Eridan has had this whole time (after all, he was cheating on Feferi with the guy), but never realized.

There are a few miscellaneous things that don't really mean anything on their own, but put next to all this other stuff, is worth considering, so I'll list those now.

First, they both do the bonk:

Second:

CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID. TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing. TA: ii cant even tell anymore. CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON. CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.

Third, Karkat muses to his future self about how he misses his friends, especially the assholes, two pages before staring at a dead Eridan's ass (joking, he's definitely looking at WV, but it's still significant that this thought is being associated with Eridan):

CCG: I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. CCG: I MISS ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS A LOT. CCG: EVEN THE ASSHOLES! I MISS THEM TOO. MAYBE EVEN ESPECIALLY THEM, IN SOME PERVERSE WAY. CCG: AND I SHOULD BE RELIEVED THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE HAPPY IN SOME WAY, EVEN IF IT'S BY FLOATING NEBULOUSLY THROUGH DREAM PROJECTIONS WITH THEIR FREAKY BLANK EYES. CCG: AND I GUESS I AM RELIEVED ABOUT THAT. CCG: BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S LEFT ME UNSETTLED.

Fourth, in the same conversation, he bemoans his failed relationship with Terezi, before Future!Karkat chastises Past!Karkat for his instability and mixed signals. Going back to the page on moirallegiances, an explicit function of a proper pale relationship is stabilizing a troll's other relationships:

The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Of course, I don't need to tell you how messy and unstable Eridan's relationships have been.

And finally, Piles of Stuff™ are associated with moirails, and directly stated in-comic to cause an outpouring of emotion:

Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.

So here's a seven-word tragedy for you: For Sale, Shitty Wand Pile, Never Used:

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

(Which he specifically tells Karkat about.)

So, yeah, what I'm saying is, there's just, like, a weirdly large amount to read into here. That Karkat and Eridan are probably soulmates or whatever. And that this is important because...

Eridan Is Plot Relevant (Well All The Dead Trolls Are But This Is An Essay About Eridan)

So. Now we are going to talk about themes. Yes, like we are in schoolfeeding again. I'm going to keep it simple, because "The Themes of Homestuck" is a whole essay on its own, and this one about just the shitty fish boy is already way too long.

I think it's fairly non-controversial to posit that the main theme of Homestuck is, "children should mature, care about each other, and throw off the shackles of their old society, because they will be responsible for a new world one day."

Up until Game Over/the Retcon, this is so prevalent and well-established that SBURB/SGRUB's coming-of-age themes will outright be commented upon by the characters, and the main villain is a child who deliberately stunted his own growth so he could go around kicking over other peoples' toys forevermore.

So, the thing is, with that being the theme of Homestuck, if ALL of the Alternian trolls don't survive to the end, the ending is thematically unsatisfying, because the message suddenly gains an addendum of "well, some kids just need to die," which totally sucks. Like, sure, Eridan was a violent, crazed murderer even at the best of times, but his permanent death within the canon ending kind of means that the comic is saying that people in his position don't deserve kindness or second chances. That position being a traumatized, emotionally neglected child, who was being bullied by people he considered his friends. It's a pretty terrible message.

It's even worse when you consider what other trolls don't make it to the end - Nepeta, the most outspoken troll against the hemospectrum (and Davepeta does NOT count, don't try to tell me the final culmination of Nepeta's character arc is being combined with some guy she barely knows and a bird). Feferi, who genuinely wanted the best for others, even if she was kind of a privileged princess. Aradia and Sollux also stay behind in the bubbles, even though their lives have pretty much been endless parades of suffering and being used by other people. Even Equius doesn't deserve it - he was kind of a casteist freak, but not irredeemably so, and the fact that he became kinder to Karkat over the course of SGRUB proved that he had the capacity to change. And Tavros, allergic to himself and being insulted by Vriska, is a terrible way to end his arc.

It's also really clear that, since half his friends are dead, Karkat just doesn't really have anything to do. His title is the Knight of Blood, and Blood is about bonds - romance, friendship. And yet, he ends the comic having never figured out what Blood was about, with no confirmed filled quadrants (sorry DaveKat likers, but within the comic itself, DaveKat is never confirmed), and most of his bonds nothing more than ghosts in the bubbles. It's a terribly unsatisfying ending for the most narratively important troll.

I think, then, that even if you don't agree that Homestuck should have ended with full revivals and redemption arcs for all the trolls, the essay is going to proceed on like you do, so, sorry, I guess.

The thing with Eridan, specifically, is that he's actually tied deeply into the plot and themes, and his return means more than just Karkat finally getting a date (although that's important, too). Eridan is directly intertwined with a prophecy to kill Lord English; he's set up to mirror Caliborn and Calliope; and thematically, his redemption would be the most clear instance of the "interrogating society" part of the theme of Homestuck, because Eridan is kind of the Society Troll. And also, he was definitely supposed to be Roxy's wizard boyfriend.

Just gonna get that last one out of the way real quick because it's a fast one, Roxy fucking loves wizards and is a hipster. Eridan is a wizard and is also a hipster. Roxy has a crush on a prince. Eridan is also a prince. Roxy wears a purple striped scarf. Eridan wears a blue striped scarf. Roxy uses rifles. Eridan uses rifles. Momlonde's introduction includes a passive-aggressive fridge battle that features a cameo of Eridan's quirk.

Using the colorful MAGNET LETTERS, you recently left a succinct message, which may or may not have been directed toward anyone in particular. But you couldn't find the letter W, so you just stuck two V's together. Your mother then purchased a fresh pack of W's and left them there for your convenience.

Yeah. So. Uh. Not only did Eridan need to be brought back to date Karkat pale, but he also needed to be brought back to date Roxy flushed. Can you imagine how funny it would be. They'd get together within 5 minutes of meeting for the first time and Rose would lose her shit. Anyway.

Him being a parallel to Calliope and Caliborn is also a quick one - Caliborn uses Riflekind/Sceptrekind, and Calliope uses Pistolkind/Wandkind. Eridan's two weapons are rifles and wands. Lord English is described as an evil wizard and at one point is shown using Calliope's wand. Eridan is also an evil wizard who uses a wand.

Look, I'm not saying that Eridan is necessarily directly related to these two, nor am I even necessarily saying that he and Roxy HAVE to date, but I am saying that he's got Weird Plot Connections that make him bizarrely relevant to characters that only come into play well after his death - almost like the comic was setting up that he would be coming back. His reaction to Cronus supports this, which I go into detail about here.

There's other strange "Eridan's plot important" things, too - like the fact that he's completely unimpressed by Faygo, considering it to be "just soda," and seems to be the only non-cultist who's okay with it. Or the fact that he's actually been awake on Derse since before the game (but unable to hear the horrorterrors, maybe foreshadowing some psychic resistance?) which he casually reveals to Kanaya and which Terezi is aware of, hence he's included in the people she names are "in" on the existence of the game. Or the fact that the genetic code for Alternia's first guardian was written within the pages of four FLARP books, with the addition of a fifth code Gamzee wrote in Karkat's ~ATH book... but Eridan was the fifth FLARP player in the team, implying that Doc Scratch/LE influencing Gamzee caused him to usurp Eridan's part of the first guardian code, giving LE his way into the trolls' universe.

Individually, it's all kind of nothing, but it just paints a bigger picture of Eridan being weirdly relevant, especially when we get to the juicy stuff:

The Prophecy

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. ... [T]his magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. 8ut the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. ... ARANEA: 8ut at some point he 8ecame disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to 8e passed on to his descendant, or if his descendant proved to 8e as much of a failure as he did, then perhaps on to some other Hero of Hope.

ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes ... CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be ... CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

Jake is supposed to have been the one to defeat Lord English. (No, Jake defeating pre-LE Caliborn right before he gets sealed into Cal doesn't count! He doesn't even get the final blow in that fight, DIRK does.)

But Eridan at one point had that destiny on his shoulders. Aranea turbohealing Jake, and the resultant hope field, summons a bunch of angels, which are heavily associated with Eridan - yet another random connection that Eridan has with future plot events.

Jake was another character, alongside Karkat, who was kind of reduced to a joke by the end, despite the fact that he had literally, directly, been passed the destiny of defeating Lord English. It's hard not to see this as a consequence, at least in part, of removing Eridan from the story. By cutting him out of the fabric of the ending, several plot threads - including this prophecy - are left dangling in irrelevance. And so Jake, like Karkat, now has nothing to do.

Homestuck is generally a series where every prophecy does come true, which makes it kind of startling when several prophecies fail to - Feferi's to "unite the two races," Jake's to defeat Lord English, and Karkat's to bring "compassion, forgiveness, and equality among all bloodlines" in the Signless's place.

That last one is actually relevant to:

The Thematic Importance of EriKar As Soul Mates

Eridan represents the worst aspects of Alternian society. He's a sea dweller at the top of the caste structure, with free reign to murder whoever he wants, soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent trolls. He espouses the casteist rhetoric that their society is built on, calling for the deaths of all land dwellers and the oppression of the lower castes. And while he should be benefitting from his position of privilege, it has also done nothing but hurt him.

Karkat, meanwhile, is a pariah. A mutant who would've been culled on sight, who spent his entire life living in hiding, and most of the game in fear that he would be ostracized or worse by the rest of his friends if they found out about his blood color. He's also the second coming of Troll Jesus, and thus, more despised by the Alternian ruling class than a mutant normally would be. For most of his life, he dreamed of nothing more than finding belonging within the society that had deemed him unfit.

Their friendship is something that "should not be." The highblood and the mutant. The royal-v and the off-spectrum. The empress's sea dweller and the second coming of the signless. Eridan "should" see Karkat as a miscreant to cull on sight. Karkat "should" be terrified of Eridan's very existence.

But in reality, Eridan doesn't give a shit about blood color, and Karkat just wants to be accepted. Eridan just wants someone to care about him, and Karkat loves his friends. Aside from Feferi, Eridan is the only highblood who never comments about Karkat's mutant blood, and they were best buddies even before Eridan knew.

Eridan and Karkat getting together isn't JUST the two most undateable trolls on the team finally landing a stable quadrant. These two, moreso than any other pairing, represent the themes of Homestuck. Children growing up, caring about each other, and throwing off the shackles of their old society.

In the pre-retcon timeline, their team failed to do so. This led to Gamzee falling into his highblood clown cult, Equius letting himself and Nepeta die by submitting to his place in the hemospectrum, Vriska killing Tavros because she couldn't allow herself to show weakness, and Eridan completing his caste's dream of genocide. Karkat spent the entire meteor trip and beyond beating himself up about it, since he considered it all to be his fault.

But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, they have the chance to, one by one, redeem themselves. I believe that's how the original ending would have gone: Terezi would ask John to bring Vriska back, because she only feels comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Vriska would then have asked John to bring back Tavros, whom she regretted killing. Tavros would be there for Gamzee, rendering him an ally. Gamzee would ask John to bring back Equius and Nepeta. Equius would ask John to help him not make the same mistakes with Aradia, and Aradiabot would catch John by the wrist and demand he bring her back in time to before she died, allowing her to circumvent her own death and Sollux's guilt. Sollux would ask John to keep him from provoking Eridan, saving Feferi. And Feferi would be pretty ok with the way things were... but KARKAT would then pull John aside, and drop an entire book of mistakes he made on John's lap, and this would result in a finalized timeline where all his friends are alive and god-tiered.

Because all the trolls SHOULD have survived.

Vriska should've survived because people should be allowed to have second chances.

Tavros should've survived because caring about each other, and being willing to show kindness and mercy, are good things.

Gamzee should have survived because people mired in religious fundamentalism and cults deserve to be offered a helping hand.

Equius should've survived because people should be allowed to grow and change their beliefs.

Nepeta should've survived because she was the anti-casteism troll. Casteism is bad, folks! Not only that, but I'm convinced that she was originally going to give the Ultimate Self exposition, and Davepetasprite^2 had to be contrived in the canon ending in order to shortcut Nepeta's character development, ruining it in the process.

Aradia should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team and live a life free of the control of evil uncles and shitty ancestors.

Sollux should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team because we all deserve to heal and be happy.

Feferi should've survived so she could be in a kismesistude with Nepeta, and realize that casteism itself is bad, not just the definition of culling, and then used her Witch of Life powers to even out the lifespans between the next generation of trolls, which needs to happen or else casteism will just happen again as long-lived highbloods inevitably amass power. And, also, it would complete the prophecy Gl'bgolyb gave her that she was intended to unite the two races (dream bubbles don't count, because by that metric, Sollux did more than she did by establishing a connection between the trolls and humans).

And Eridan should've survived, because the harm society has done to us can be undone. We don't have to submit to the roles it imposes, to the laws it wrote, to the abuse it inflicted. We can be free.

I've seen a lot of people who believe that such-and-such character did SUCH awful things that they don't deserve a happy ending. Oftentimes, it's Eridan, but nearly all of the dead trolls have gotten this treatment. So, let me just ask all of you who have gotten this far and still hold that opinion one thing. Do you think that's what Troll Jesus would have wanted?

This is why pale EriKar is so important: for it to happen, Eridan has to make a choice between upholding the beliefs of his shitty society, or pursuing a happier, kinder future, one where he outright rejects the caste system. For it to happen, Karkat has to shake all his insecurities about not being good enough by Alternian standards, and take on the duty of creating something better than what he came from. If pale EriKar happens, it means Eridan and Karkat choose love, not fear. Compassion, forgiveness, and equality.

This choice - this pairing - is the ultimate representation of giving Alternian society one big middle finger. Saying, we don't need you anymore, fuck off! Saying, we reject you at your core; we will choose something better! Saying, we will create a new world, and it will be kinder than the one we came from!

Pale EriKar means LOVE WINS.

Thank you for reading.

[chrisrin]

What did bismuth Dirk make Hal FOR?

ALRIGHT! TIME FOR MY SECOND STORY DUMP! We need a bit of context before we get to Hal, so bear with me. (this is a long as fuck post)

SO! Dave and Dirk both come from Homeworld, as all gems do. I'm not super sure on the exacts, as the Alpha Kids are the first ones to leave together and they pick up the Beta Kids later but, we're kind of floating around the idea of Bro being Yellow Diamond or having some sort of equivalent power. Both Dirk and Dave are gems under Yellow, Dirk being a Bismuth and Dave being a Carnelian.

Plot stuff happens, Dirk escapes and at some point comes back to get Dave and now they have a whole squad and all that, yadda-yadda. However, during their escape from Homeworld, something Bad happens and causes Dave to get injured (don't know what it is yet but it's something)

Dave's gem gets cracked but everyone still makes it out okay. Due to whatever the circumstances are surrounding this, only Dave and Dirk know of the status of Dave's gem, Dave starts wearing actual clothing upon getting to Earth to hide his cracked gem, using the excuse that it's cool and he's trying to vibe with the style.

Dirk is a Bismuth, he's been trained his whole life to create weapons of war and things for destruction, and now, faced with one of the people he's come to care about most, it's the one time he can't fix a problem by putting a hammer to it. He can't help Dave, and Dirk blames himself for letting Dave get hurt in the first place, thinking he wasn't strong enough to protect him.

As time goes on, Dave gets worse, and especially after escaping Homeworld, Dave's cracked gem prevents him from spawning his weapon. This means Dave is filled with trauma on top of feeling deeply defenseless, coming from a place where having a weapon on you at all times was the only thing keeping you alive.

Dirk, watching Dave's deterioration, decides that enough is enough and he seeks out Pink Diamond. Upon finding Feferi, Dirk trades in something (A deal? A service?) in exchange for some of her healing material. He brings it to Dave and heals his gem.

So, you'd assume everything's fine and dandy now, right? Surely.

But no, it's Dirk, so it's not.

Dirk looks at this situation and says, "I'm never going to let this happen again" and concludes that the reason Dave got hurt was because he, Dirk, was not strong enough. So Dirk asks, "How do I get stronger?"

At some point during this time, the group is all out doing stuff together and Dirk watches Sollux save all their asses from something. Dirk realizes Sollux is statistically the stronger gem out of the whole group and puts two-and-two together (literally), concluding that what he needs to be powerful is...

Fusion. (do you see where this is heading?)

Will Dirk go and ask Sollux about this? Will he go and maybe ask Roxy, who he trusts? Will he talk to Dave and get his thoughts?

No, of course not. Because Dirk is a little stupid.

Dirk theorizes that if he can splinter his own gem and create an artificially copied fragment of himself, he'd be able to fuse with himself which would avoid having to rely on other people. So Dirk does the one thing he wasn't going to do to Dave. He takes the hammer to himself.

This, as you would imagine, goes fucking horribly wrong.

Dirk creates Hal, who is only a very small sliver of Bismuth. A corrupted gem that can't properly speak, seems to be intelligent, but also fucking hates Dirk.

Dirk, panicked, both because now his own gem is fucked up, but now because he has a little Dude running around his workshop, decides "oh fuck I need to fix this" and tries to fuse with Hal.

It doesn't work. Their fusion isn't stable. They can't fuse back together.

Dirk, having no idea what to do, decides to hide Hal away in his workshop and does his best to lie to everyone. Dave is suspicious, as Dirk starts to wear clothing that covers his gem, but Dave also isn't one for emotional vulnerability so he doesn't ask. Dirk continues to lie to most of everyone, even as his own state gets worse and worse.

Eventually, Sollux realizes what Dirk did. And he's fucking pissed. The lie gets uncovered and Sollux is ANGRY. Remember when Pearl lied to Garnet about the tower and the whole Sardonyx thing? It's like that, but both sides are angry at each other and refuse to apologize.

The rest of the group do their best to take care of Hal, they try to help Dirk fuse properly with him but it's not working, and Dirk keeps trying to force it but they aren't stable.

Eventually, something happens, and Dave gets poofed while they're out on an adventure (obviously Dave can recover, but it's a huge scare for Dirk). It's something Dirk could've easily protected Dave from, but now because he fragmented himself, he's even weaker than before. This is the final tipping stone for Dirk.

He goes to Sollux and apologizes, begging him to help him figure out fusion.

Sollux, resigned, sighs and agrees to help him. With time, Sollux slowly teaches Hal and Dirk how to work together and fuse, gradually helping them become more and more stable until finally they can fuse together and be like normal again.

Even after all of this, Hal and Dirk fused together aren't any more powerful than they were before. But Dirk grew in a different way, learning to trust others and see that not all his problems can be solved by just relying on himself.

Sollux, seeing Dirk & Hal's growth, who have now become a proper permafusion, offers to fuse with them if he wants to try it. Dirk smiles and shakes his head, and says that he'll be happy with where he is for right now, though he wouldn't mind taking it up in the future. Sollux is beaming back, satisfied that Dirk learned his lesson. (and then when shit goes down in the future we have this fucking awesome moment where Dirk and Sollux fuse together for the first time and theyre so fucking cool and i physicall explode)

ANYWAYS THAT'S MY STORY DUMP. LONG-ASS POST I KNOW BUT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM! HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION!!

[thewertsearch]

Yep. That's a 'fuck this shit' face if I ever saw one.

CC: T)(ere is not)(ing to worry about at all. GG: bluhhh what are you talking about…. GG: my head hurts GG: just stop it, stop trolling me GG: i hate you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Understandable. Jade's most recent memories are a garbled collection of monster nightmares, immediately preceded by her own death. She just woke up, but what she needs more than anything else is a break.

GG: my dream was horrible!!! GG: i dont know what that was, i have never dreamed anything like it CC: Yes, I imagine not! You )(ave spent your w)(ole life dreaming about prospit, no? GG: oh god…. GG: prospit :( GG: is it really gone? CC: Yes, Jade. It is time to face t)(e facts! CC: Our moons are gone too. If we wis)( to sleep now, our dreams must take place in t)(e bubbles glubbed by t)(e gods w)(o live in t)(e Furt)(est Ring.

This is the real perk to being a Derse Dreamer. Your affiliation with the Furthest Ring makes you well-equipped to navigate the shadowy, garbled world of the Horrorterrors - unlike your Prospitian siblings, who are too accustomed to Skaia's gentle light.

It makes a kind of sense, I think, that the darker Dreamers would only reveal their true potential in death. Their 'ghosts' can rendezvous outside the session, which could grant them all sorts of advantages.

CC: In fact, t)(ey are quite )(elpful if you know )(ow to talk to t)(em! CC: Don't you remember our dream? I was trying to s)(ow you t)(at t)(ere is not)(ing to fear.

Feferi, in particular, has an eldritch affinity which is completely off the charts. The Horrorterrors are effectively her family, and with her serving as a guide, the Furthest Ring is a little bit safer for everyone else.

Perhaps, with Feferi's help, it could be safe enough to serve as a hideout. Both sessions seem to be living on borrowed time, so establishing a 'safe house' external to any Incipisphere seems like an excellent idea. The Horrorterrors claim to be here to help, so maybe it's time for them to prove it.

...wow. I never expected Feferi to be a potential lynchpin of the Grand Intersession Plan, but here we are.

GG: sorry but GG: could you please GG: not use all those stupid parentheses?????? [...] CC: GLUUUUB oh fine. CC: I will suspend my neato quirk just for you. [...] GG: what about the -E thing, can you stop that too? it is also annoying and stupid [...] CC: Okay, you win. I have officially humbled myself before you. Entirely glubbing peasant-IFICATED for your pleasure.

If only Gamzee would do the same...

GG: ohhhhhhh!!!!! GG: i do remember you! GG: i remember you were talking to me about my lusus, and i had no idea what you were talking about GG: also it was shortly before your friend sent me a weird message GG: about how my robot was going to explode, and i should talk to him when it happens

At first, I thought we'd missed a conversation in the hell-bubble - but no, this unseen conversation happened immediately before she talked to Future Karkat.

This does appear to be the timeframe that he needs to talk to her in - but I don't see what this Jade could do to help him. As she so aptly put it, she currently understands jack shit.

Perhaps there's something she needs to do immediately before Entering. Does Karkat have an idea for what she should prototype?

CC: Oh? Who was that? GG: it was the most awful and angry one GG: i am so sick of him, i really dont want to talk to that pathetic jerk ever CC: Ah, Karkat. Of course.

lmao

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

what type of youtubers would the trolls be? Karkat would definitely make rants and reviews of romance movies, Kanaya would make makeup or fashion tutorials, Sollux has an IT channel he made so people stop bugging him (nobody ever bothers checking it instead of asking him)

quick spitballed ideas bc this is such a cute prompt

aradia - reviews of inaccurate halloween decoration skeletons. theyre not rated on anatomical accuracy but by how much swag they have. most of her other videos are short clips of her livevlogging her day and telling short stories, but shes funny and witty so they do numbers. very low effort and low cost, but shes having fun.

tavros - CARD PACK UNWRAPPING. guy who in no way can afford his hobby but keeps getting these card packs for his channel. surprisingly relaxing to listen to while you have him minimized in another tab while you do something else. he goes over each card in the deck and their effects as well as rarity.

sollux - basically what you said. IT guide on walking through common computer problems. horrible mic quality, but really helpful information.

karkat - ABSOLUTELY would be a movie reviewer. no facecam but for whatever reason has CRISP mic quality. somehow NEVER peaks his mic despite all the screaming he does. he loves media analysis and getting pissed off over fandom drama so hed probably also do breakdowns of scandals in fandom spheres, and somehow almost getting sued.

nepeta - SPEEDPAINTS. and like. flipnote hatena style amvs. obviously very amateur but its a very cute art style and she has no concept of copyright infringement.

kanaya - makeup tutorials and fashion reviews. would definitely be like that one youtuber who reviews the accuracy of historical fiction dresses in film and tv. everytime the virgin mothergrub is in the background of her videos her comments are spammed with "MOTH MOM REAL"

terezi - animated shitposts. like. grinchs ultimatum, garfielf, shit like that. REALLY bright colors and shitty linework with windows moviemaker transitions. no one knows who she is and shes never done a face reveal so shes a total enigma. there are deep web theories that her videos are anti-empire propaganda.

vriska - flarping tutorials. genuinely. she goes over mechanics, spells, class breakdowns, even shares stories of her own flarp campaigns. VERY passionate about it and kind of has an asshole youtuber persona. posts an apology video like once a month then goes on like nothing happened. replies to every mean comment.

equius - weightlifting videos. dead silent. just grunting and metal clanking. no editing. addresses every comment in every video. lots of heavy breathing. very uncomfortable. almost like performance art in how desolate it feels.

gamzee - cooking videos. its as bad as it sounds.

eridan - showing off everything in his hive and talking about it. his guns. his outfits. ranting about pollution. each video is an hour long. its mostly just him complaining or bragging about the stuff he owns.

feferi - has a live feed of her cuttlefish pen going constantly. posts animal care videos. posts music. does challenges. her youtube is kind of an inconsistent mish-mash of content but one thing remains: you will watch her cuttlefish.

[steph-is-asleep]

Trolls and their most prominent autism trait

Aradia: intense eye contact/echolalia

Tavros: unable to make eye contact

Sollux: refuses to care about anything that doesn't relate to his special interest, including social cues/rules

Karkat: doesn't like being touched/hates when plans change

Nepeta: intense and obscure interests, has adhd

Kanaya: intense sensory issues, specifically with fabric and things relating to clothes

Terezi: oral fixation (chewing, eating things that aren't food)

Vriska: photosensitivity

Equius: difficulty understanding things that are appropriate to say

Gamzee: surprisingly a very picky eater

Eridan: expressionless face/black and white thinking

Feferi: difficulty with tones, specifically when people are joking/flirting

[knights-unwelcommentary]

But seriously, when Karkat thought he didn’t have much time left because of the murderers on the loose the things he did were pretty telling of the kind of person he is:

-Check for signs of life among the casualties

-Attempt to help: Kisses the dead bodies just in case their dream selves survived Bec Noir’s destruction

-Warn the others: Trans timeline memo where he also takes the opportunity to both tell Eridan exactly how he feels about what he just did to their friends and apologize to Feferi for not doing enough

-Attempt to initiate a regroup: Thwarted by Gamzee responding from Terezi’s account

-Retreat: Dragging Sollux along despite being slowed down by it

-Contact someone with the skillset to solve the situation: Messaging Equius, confirming he’s physically capable of stopping Gamzee and then asking him to do it

-Capitulate: Apologizing to anyone he can reach for everything he thinks he did wrong and reminiscing about the good times

-Comfort a grieving friend: When Terezi kills Vriska

-Face the danger head on: Trying to stop more bloodshed

[yanderes-galore]

Is is alright is I ask for a romantic eridan concept, with a fem human darling please?

Of course! I love to write for the brat, lol :) AU where at least Feferi and Eridan are alive for plot reasons I guess ^^;

Not proofread fully, it is what it is.

Yandere! Eridan Ampora ♒️ with Fem! Human! Darling

Pairing: Matesprit ❤️

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Implied rebounding, Manipulation, Troll/Human pairing, Jealousy, Slight internal conflict, Dubious relationship/Matespritship, Possessive behavior, Brief mention of troll reproduction (it isn't NSFW at all, trust me), Stalking, Biting mention, Brief violence mention.

Eridan would be pathetic with just about any partner.

He'd be the same as he would with a troll darling wants he gets into it.

At first, however, Eridan has little interest in a human.

While his friends, like Feferi, are interested in them he doesn't get into them at first.

He just... doesn't get it?

Feferi may actually be the one to introduce you to him.

Eridan notices she's been chatting up this female human recently and is a bit bothered by it.

When he asks, Feferi takes this as interest.

As a result the fuchsiablood gushes about you and how you two are friends.

"wwhat do you evven like about this specific human?"

"O)( come on, -Eridan! Look at )(er, isn't s)(e just t)(e cutest 38D? You s)(oald c)(at wit)( )(er... and be nice!"

Reluctantly, Eridan listens to her and gives it a shot.

He begins to talk to you through the chat client because Feferi urged him to.

He'd normally not bother because humans are land dwellers and just won't understand him.

Although it appears you and Feferi understand each other....

Eridan would be a troll that would take time before he feels comfortable with a human obsession.

An example of a troll who'd have the same issue is Karkat.

He tries to be considerate and understand you to appease Feferi, who he's having relationship trouble with.

By the time Eridan meets you in person he's grown invested in you and your journey.

He's impressed you reach God-Tier, he's actually a bit envious.

You've actually been a way he's been recovering from his falling out with Feferi.

He never would've thought it possible but he's actually considering a quadrant with a human.

He actually finds himself excited at the idea of meeting this female human.

When you eventually get to the meteor he even gets a bit upset that he's not the first troll you come to greet.

Of course you go to see Feferi first.

Although, while both flushed and pale quadrants didn't work with Feferi, she still introduces you to him.

Perhaps in an attempt to heal his broken bloodpumper or something.

"T)(is is -Eridan! )(e's been rat)(er attac)(ed to your w)(ole journey! You s)(oald talk to )(im! I'm s)(ore )(e's been looking forward to meeting you 38)"

"d-don't say that...! um... hey-"

He mentally face palms when he stutters in front of you.

At first, Eridan would try to keep up his usual personality.

He's dramatic and sometimes acts like he's better than you.

He tunes it down when he realizes he's losing your interest, however.

The two trolls you talk to the most are actually Feferi and Eridan.

Eridan understands that you've met her first... yet he wishes you'd spend more time with him-

Naturally, your conversations tend to dip into more personal territory.

Eridan asks about you and what exactly makes female humans different from males.

This is due to the fact reproduction with trolls doesn't really take the gender into account.

You also ask about this "quadrant" thing he brings up frequently.

It's expected with Eridan that he often vents about relationship issues.

You try to listen to him bur sometimes you need a break.

Feferi tends to give advice on how to deal with him.

Eridan struggles with how to admit he's into you.

He isn't sure what to say?

He's rebounding from Feferi and wants to fill his quadrants....

Yet he's unsure how to tell a human he wants you in his flushed quadrant.

He guesses it would be similar to a human "boyfriend" while you'd be his human "girlfriend" but he's a bit nervous.

Eridan can be a bit of a creep when he scopes out how to tell you.

Some may notice him following you around and watching you.

Others notice him silently seething when you talk to other trolls.

He's even tried to suggest dueling to win you over.

He's... a bit bloodthirsty.

It takes a lot out of him to finally tell you what he wants with you.

"look, i knoww you're a human but i'vve been thinking.... did you possibly wwant to be my matesprit? y'knoww... my red lovve? don't laugh it's taken me forevver to ask you because you're a human!"

If you reject him then he'll just be a pain.

He'll pester you, he'll get aggressive with trying to show you he loves you.

He's clingy and pleads with you to give him a chance.

He'll stop being so stuck up! Please just give him a chance!

He's desperate....

If you say yes then you still get barely any time alone.

Eridan's ecstatic that you said yes to being his Matesprit.

Any other human he finds to be not his type.

When it comes to you? He slams into you to have your attention.

Feferi is happy that Eridan has found someone, even if it is her cute human friend, although he seems to be very clingy as usual.

Any past feelings for Feferi is mostly forgotten as Eridan prefers to look for you.

At first he was reluctant to like a human, one not even part of the bloodcaste or aquatic in nature.

Now he doesn't care, someone likes him.

Even if you rejected him he'd somehow force you into it.

In private he's affectionate.

In public he acts like he doesn't want you to shower him in affection, still trying to keep up his ego.

Private? Hugs, kissing, nipping, nuzzling, you name it.

He'd do anything for you.

Eridan admittedly wants to explore you in any way he can, as intimate as that sounds....

For being a prince, if you say just the right thing he's bratty putty in your hands.

He acts like he's tough but in reality he's just happy you're paying attention to him, one way or another (even with a bit of force).

Eridan would be one to decorate you in his sign and color like some Highbloods.

It's a way to show you're his and gives him an ego boost.

He's possessive and other than violence displaying his color on your keeps you as his in his mind.

Feferi begins to feel bad when she sees you covered in Eridan's symbol.

He's taken this Matesprit thing a bit too far... like he fears to lose you.

You're God-Tier unlike him so you can keep him in his place if he decides to try and kill another troll for you, like Feferi.

Although, like some pathetic yanderes, you may just feel bad?

Eridan has so many issues when it comes to relationships.

After losing Feferi you one way or another gave him a chance.

Now you have a clingy troll who refuses to let you go.

Overall, Eridan would be hesitant to engage with a human obsession due to his ego...

Although once he catches flushed feelings... he just can't get enough of you despite his ego.

"i'd do anything for you, you're mine and i'm yours! i'd kill for you, i'd conquer for you... you're my matesprit and i'd do it all just for you. i lovve you... don't you dare reject me!"

[rogue-of-heart-classpecting]

ayo im kinda trying to assign a classpect to myself and im stuck between Bard of Void and Prince of Time can u please tell me more bout it?

Ok!!!

BARD OF VOID

The bard is someone who basically thinks, feels, acts, or IS one way for most of their life up until a point where they change fundamentally and become the exact opposite. In a destructive way. For a bard of void, this might look like encouraging people to look things up, explaining things to others, Passively Destroying Void. By encouraging light. They would value knowledge and enjoy learning. OR luck or like water or actual light or whatever. At some point the bard would suddenly realize like… mysticism and not knowing some things is actually the correct… way. To be. Like they change their mind. And then they start destroying shit. Perhaps literally. Burning libraries, shooting out lights, maybe they could even manipulate the heroic/just clock to cause people to die or not die (luck can influence the outcome as seen by aranea and I think maybe vriska I can’t remember). This time they would be Passively Destroying USING Void. Ok? And like let’s not forget they can still passively destroy void as well. And they could destroy using void before. Maybe now they tell people misinformation… they… hmm… using void to destroy… they could thanos snap people out of existence? Into the negative space? That’s destructive. They could perhaps send basically ANYTHING into the shadow realm. And before….. they would have been able to destroy using void… that might look likeeee…. I’m trying to think about gamzee pre-sober. Destroying using rage. I’m thinking about when he tries to pray his computer out of his sylladex and then it doesn’t work so he just grabs it? That’s sort of destroying by debunking… since rage is about the truth. You see what I’m saying? So before, the bard of void could have been like trying to look something up and then just given up and decided it’s best that they don’t know? Something like that. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing for a bard is determining when and where they would snap. Please keep that in mind. They have unpredictable personalities and are very capricious.

PRINCE OF TIME

This is a powerful and scary guy. The bard is kind of goofy and in your face, but the prince is angry and brooding and cold. The prince’s job is to destroy an aspect that…. Hmm…. It seems like the prince’s aspect is a bit of a nuisance in their sessions. I always wonder how hussie could have carefully planned each and every character to represent their class and aspect in every way correctly. The prince’s aspect is maybe a threat to the successful continuation of the session. I think it’s kind of up to them to not get carried away but to sort of clean up the excess aspect. Dirk sort of nuked everyone’s interest in Jake by proving how shit a boyfriend he is. Which was holding everyone back a bit. Eridan… went way overboard with everything. Dirk could have definitely broken everyone’s spirit and destroyed the souls of all players if he was an antagonist. Like eridan. Eridan’s session was like a bunch of naive teenagers expecting to beat this game like a challenge instead of like a journey. And he got rid of that naive optimism right away. Honestly in feferi alone there was hope for a brighter future like beforus which is definitely less bloodthirsty and colonial. And he nipped that in the bud along with every other positive future aspiration the team had. As far as he could, at least. We don’t have a lot of information about the alpha trolls session, but there is a lot of discord and ill will going on in there. I think there’s also much more disillusionment among the players. Granted they are all dead already so that kind of makes it more obvious that this isn’t going to go well. A prince of time might be a really bad sign for the session. Or it could be everyone is lollygagging around and there’s an excess of time and things are taking forever. The prince could like move through time I assume and maybe skip forward. They could perhaps fast forward the session for everyone? Jade was able to manipulate space to affect everyone. Unlike how Dave mostly affected his own timeline. This fast forwarding thing could really screw up everyone’s day. Maybe even like making people too old and decrepit to work like with osteoporosis and shit. Or skipping to the end of the game. That could be misguided and everyone isn’t ready yet or it could be vengeful and vindictive. They could even maybe age the frog (again, misguided or on purpose) and accidentally kill it or something. The time player is supposed to breed the frog. It is NOT the knights job, karkat just did it bc he’s the leader and since he’s not the time player he caused The Tumor. Anyway. Are you more of a fighter or a wildcard?

[davekat-sucks]

If you could rewrite homestuck (I mean act 1-7 nothing past that) What would you change?

For the most part Acft 1 up to Cascade has been fine. Everything after that will have major changes. Like have Beta Kids from the ship and meteor actually speak with each other and visit each other during the travel. They have all the means for communication and I think it's bullshit they never talked to each other. Rose's alcoholism will be solved without Vriska involved. Terezi gets help from the people around her to stay away from Gamzee. And trying to free Gamzee from Lord English's servitude. Have the dead trolls be alive again. Be it on the meteor or in the Alpha session. Not as sprites. Just themselves. No teen drama with the Alpha Kids either. Have the dead trolls interact with the Alpha Kids as they help through their session and issues. NO DANCESTORS. Three of them have larger roles and the rest of the cast is completely useless. There is no need to pad the story out. Let Feferi fill that role for Meenah to take charge and give her development she needs. As well as having the trolls confront and face about their ancestor's past and what they will be for the future. No Union Jack either. Make it known that Calliope's toxic positivity harms the cast too, showing that she is just as awful as Caliborn. The cast would have to beat both Cherubs. Final battles would be The trolls vs The Condesce Beta Kids vs Jack Noir Alpha Kids vs Lord English Bonus is that Spades Slick is on the Alpha Kids side or fights on his own too against Lord English. To finally wrap up what he had came for from the Intermission. He would then get to be with Ms. Paint as a couple. They beat the villains, get Earth C, endgame ships would be things like JohnVris, Rosemary, DaveJade, Karezi, DirkJake, EriRoxy, Equius x Jane, and Solradia. They each have fankids (through natural means or ectobiology, so NO DOG PENIS), and they live happily ever after. And that's just if I keep the trolls in this. Because I think it would be better if Homestuck itself is just focused on the Beta kids fighting against Jack Noir and then Lord English, no trolls involved. If you had to have them, have them only the important ones like Vriska, Kanaya, Terezi, and Karkat help the Beta Kids before they get killed off. Have the troll session, Hivebent, as a separate story that can be explored later. The Acts would be up to 5-6 since that means Dancestors and Alpha Kid session won't be in this. It would be just be about John, Dave, Rose, and Jade. The main four we had been following like it was. This is how I would rewrite Homestuck.

[splickedylit]

hey, i was just wondering what's up with those giant claw fingers you draw trolls with? and gamzee's with fins and gills even when he's a landweller? thanks!

bare face gamzee because I'm too lazy for clown paint tonight, avert your eyes lol The level of xeno I bother to put into troll drawings varies depending on my mood but here are some of the most common things I put in my art

The big claws just feel really fun--normal claws are plenty dangerous, but it seems very trollish if it's physically HARD to be gentle or nonthreatening with your hands--it's a physical effort to be careful, when your entire fingertip is a chitinous claw with limited flexibility. They're horn-colored because I like how that looks, lol.

peets.................

i just think they're neat........

Hair that trails down the back of the neck and down the shoulders/arms, especially as blood color gets warmer.

Trolls with worse nutrition or caretaking habits having paler/flakier horns and claws.

I like to give trolls pupils reflective of their lusii! Goat-eye Gamzee, slit-pupil Nepeta, cuttlefish pupils for Feferi, etc.

RE: Gamzee specifically, I started drawing him a long time ago with half-seadweller traits because of his lusus/sign, capricorn. So he gets long ears with half-fins and dud gills. Sometimes if I'm feeling spicy I try to draw him with digitigrade legs but I'm bad at those so I often don't bother

I have lots of thoughts about fun options for gender on alternia but suffice it to say I intentionally try to mix up which trolls have curves or don't, relative to pronouns. don't try to tell me these pansexual aliens have strict sexually dimorphic anatomy that determines their societally-acceptable gender, Hussie!!! don't come into my house and try that shit!!

[crossfalconx5]

Heyy, Im here from you FefTav post!

Would love to hear what called you to them, the dynamic, parallels and anything else you feel like talking about, just had never considered it before!

okay welcome to my video essay called feftav mean everything to me and here’s why

On a meta level: Feferi and Tavros are two characters that are both very likable and sympathetic but don’t get as much attention from the narrative or fandom as much as they should. Feferi is hardly fleshed out despite the interesting angle her character comes from, and tavros is mainly a punching bag for the narrative that gets beaten down by hussies iron boot whenever he tries to stand up (metaphorically) They both have a lot of room for exploration that I’m very disappointed didn’t get filled out, and I think these gap in their characters can be filled out with eachother.

Feferi is a good person, raised into a high position, in a bad society. One of feferis main goals in her life was to become empress and make things better for a people that have been subjugated to cruel punishment for ages and to fix a system that has been broken for a LONG time. Feferi is a kindhearted person that isn’t naive, but hopeful to an extent that she’s blind to the fact some problems can’t be fixed with a simple change in the definition of culling. She’s also a person that both narratively and functionally get sidelined by the men in her life. She’s a kickass Princess that’s going to rule alternia someday, but is instead of that focus she’s reduced to being the damsel in distress to be fought over by both eridan and sollux. A conflict in which she’s supposed to mediate even though she never wanted it in the first place. Her time to shine is taken up by boys fighting over a girl crush which is just a SHAME to see, even dying for a conflict she had no agency in. An empathetic and capable person with one of the most optimistic outlooks in homestuck unable to reach her full potential because of the “more important” men in her life. From a toxic friendship to becoming the damsel in distress with no agency, her capability as a character is erased in the face of loss of potential.

Tavros is a person that is naive but not of his own fault. he’s a teen that likes interests that are more stereotypically childlike and gets picked on for it, he’s disabled and lower class which means his life is worth less in the eyes of the society that rules over the lives of the trolls on alternia, he’s also someone that’s been abused and manipulated by a person in his life he was close to, who installed unhealthy views of himself and his purpose into tavros. He’s a person that’s been told his whole life that he was unimportant, worthless, and weak; wether that be by society or his peers. He’s also a character that does not get to be happy, most of the relationships he has are either unhealthy, tragically undeveloped, or one’s he’s slightly forced into due to circumstances he has no control of. He goes through loads of physical and mental trauma and is never allowed a break to heal or process. He’s has never gotten a chance to truly been valued by someone because his life is like a nonstop dhar man video where the kid gets picked on for unfair reasons except the bullies never get any sort of satisfying comeuppance.

He’s also optimistic but in a far different way than Feferi. She’s optimistic because she has the ability to make a change and knows it, she’s been raised semi-comfortably and, though definitely has responsibilities, has hope for a brighter future because she has to power to make that better future. Feferi is optimistic because she has the ability to chance the circumstances. Tavros is optimistic DESPITE the circumstances, he’s had it rough his whole life, but stays positive and trusting and kind regardless, still trying his best even though things NEVER end well for them. Feferi wants to change life for low bloods but Tavros has LIVED it, which is why… (finally getting to the point)

they compliment eachother perfectly, giving eachother the thing they didn’t have in their lives. Tavros grounds feferi, he has personal experience and can speak for the people she’s trying to protect, giving her a look into the lives of those she wants to help and letting her see them on a personal level; while Feferi shows tavros that he has value and can be loved the way he is. Her endless kindness and patience for the people in her life giving a him a chance to be cared for, plus proving that he has worth. I mean, if this badass high blood Princess cares about him and have faith in him, he must mean something! Tavros is also not demanding or controlling, he doesn’t feel entitled to feferi. he doesn’t see her as a damsel; he sees her as a capable, kind, and flawed person that is more like him than he could ever have imagined. For once feferi is the one kicking ass and tavros is the one to support and ground her. feferi recognize and helps tavros heal from the unhealthy relationships he’s been in because of her experience with eridan, and tavros humanizes (trollinizes?) lowerbloods and grounds her in reality to make sure her hopeful ideals for the future are still realistic and helpful for EVERYONE. I imagine Feferi felt immense guilt after tavros died, wondering if she could’ve saved him somehow, while tavros felt like he didn’t deserve being saved.

They’re also incredibly similar, animal lovers who see the best in everyone around them, people who would enthuse about eachothers intrests and wonder at the different worlds the other brought them into. They’d be super sweet and fluffy, wear matching outfits, giggle about animals and marvel at the others talents no matter if it was slaying monsters or being good at a niche card game. They would make eachother the best versions of themselves. They could make eachother happy in a world that has made it INCREDIBLY hard for that to happen. I also feel if this had happened in canon, we’d be able to see sides of these two we weren’t able to before (Aka feferi importance and tavros joy)

So yeah, I’m normal about these guys

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

what are your thoughts on the ministrife situation? imo literally the worst fate for eridan to be damned to tbh

i think he will eventually (after <5 minutes) just shoot cronus and leave. (CW for mentions of abuse and cronus's romantic grossness and stuff under the cut).

Ignoring the extremely creepy and gross fact that Hussie doesn't seem to have a problem with the age gap (it's There, we've acknowledged that it's creepy and weird, i personally think it highlights how immature the dancestors are despite their physical age, and it actually serves to hint at how trash they are, but it's still really uncomfortable in the moment and never gets properly called out. In any case we've talked about it critically, we can move on and talk about characterization now), he and cronus are actually kind of polar opposites. Given that Cronus, along with many of the dancestors, are riffing on what the fandom interpretation of their Alternian counterparts are, it's kind of a fascinating look at all the things Eridan ISN'T.

The fandom (especially at the time) had flattened Eridan down to "overdramatic Nice Guy hipster who won't stop hitting on people," with varying degrees of sympathy. In other words, they took all of Eridan's outward presentation - the narration calling his genuine anxiety and distress "overblown emotional theatrics," the fact that his being rejected was a running gag - entirely at face value, while also missing what sort of archetype he was actually supposed to represent.

At no point does Eridan ever actually mention a hipster interest, like vintage clothes or indie media. It's all entirely in his design and Karkat calling him a hipster (it's not even in his character introduction), so presumably, it IS a part of his character (Karkat knows him really well), but it's probably a part he keeps to himself, like his love of wizards.

Moreover, he isn't really a Nice Guy. The closest he gets is thinking Nepeta owes him a chance for saving her life, but as far as we can tell, he only ever asked her once, got rejected, accepted that rejection, and has never taken out that rejection on her. When he complains about it, he frames it as a bitter "I guess what I did wasn't enough," not "she's an unreasonable witch withholding romance from me even though I'm so nice to her." All other romance attempts are crimes of... just being way too forward.

He bursts into Kanaya's DMs demanding she auspicetisize with Vriska because... that's what she likes to do, right? The same happens to Terezi in [S] Karkat: Wake Up. He comes on strong in Rose's DMs and after getting a little annoyance back, goes "wow, we kinda have something," and does not realize her blowing up his computer is a rejection because she didn't explicitly tell him no and he's a dumbass. And even though he's nasty at Sollux because emotionally, he's still bitter about Sollux "stealing" Feferi from him, at least CONSCIOUSLY he's recognized the rejection on both fronts and has repeatedly told Feferi that he has no more interest in getting back together with her, in spite of her recognizing that he's emotionally not over her. And speaking of Feferi, his confession to her is entirely genuine and respectful toward her feelings. At no point does he indicate that he feels like she owes him a date.

These aren't Nice Guy actions, they're "I have 0 social skills or self-awareness" actions. And also a little bit "due to my trauma and anxiety and desensitization to murder, I struggle to care about other people" actions. He's not even actually casteist or genocidal - I spent an entire essay arguing that.

But regardless, that's what the fandom ran with, in large part because they didn't bother reading between the lines. Ironically, like Eridan, they just believed what he told them. I don't even necessarily blame the fandom - at least part of this obfuscation was intentional, and a clever trick on the part of the writing. By highlighting Eridan at his worst, and having the narration be complicit in his self-delusion and mockery, the story is able to put the audience in the same mindset as his in-universe bullies - Eridan is dumb weirdo whose emotional problems are worthy of ridicule, not sympathy. Let's all point and laugh!

This sets up his meltdown to be more of a twist - even though his literal introduction is him killing something and talking about genocide, the very real danger he poses is forgotten both by the audience and the other characters because they've gotten so used to dismissing his feelings that they ignore his cries for help and the warning signals he gives off. And it makes his character more relevant and meaningful, because this happens in real life all the time - I'm sure we either all either knew, or were, the friendless weirdo at school who, upon reflection, definitely had either some bad shit going on at home or severe and untreated mental illness (or both).

The reason I'm bringing up this fandom misinterpretation is because, like a couple other dancestors, Cronus is very much a riff on the fanon version of his Alternian counterpart. Unlike Eridan, who's not actually casteist, but desperately trying to act the part, Cronus IS a casteist sea dweller who thinks he's better than lowbloods and land dwellers. Unlike Eridan, who seeks emotional connections with others, and accepts rejections, Cronus is only looking for some action, and keeps trying even well after he knows he's been rejected. Unlike Eridan, who's so consumed by anxiety and trauma that he's pretty much unable to function properly, Cronus DOES exaggerate his problems and explicitly leverage them for attention and sympathy. And unlike Eridan, who feels crushed under the weight of duty and responsibility, and tends to blame himself when things go wrong, Cronus refuses to take responsibility for anything, immediately blaming anybody BUT himself.

They're practically exact opposites, and this is, again, a clever trick on the part of the writing. It's an excellent usage of a foil: though superficially similar, the differences between these two really serves to highlight just how much Eridan is NOT the things that Cronus IS.

And it's especially interesting given that Eridan spent his entire life trying to emulate Dualscar, to the point of modeling his outfit after the guy. To him, it was not only his duty, but his inevitable fate, to wind up as Dualscar's successor. And when he finally meets the guy in person, his opinion is "even I think you're trash."

If that isn't a form of rejecting the values his society has told him repeatedly that he has to uphold, maybe in the service of perhaps setting up some sort of redemption arc or something, I don't know what is.

I've seen people point to this moment as kind of a hee haw funny one-off joke, look at how little Hussie cares about Eridan, but that's not what it is to me. You don't really need to say anything more about their relationship to each other. Eridan thinks Cronus (and by extension, everything Cronus stands for - and everything Eridan has tried to be) is garbage, but is lonely and friendless and desperate enough that he feels pushed into accepting it anyway. It's extremely consistent with his characterization and character arc.

So uh, yeah. Join me next time for more deep dives on how this funny innocuous thing in Homestuck actually Means Something.

[vikkirosko]

ggugugug i assume i can request fanfictions here. :-3 can i have an equius, feferi and karkat who likes to serenade for them??? :-P

Headcanons Serenade

♋️ Karkat Vantas x Reader ❤️

Quite often, when you and Karkat had house dates, you watched romcoms together. You saw how much he liked such films and, in principle, different manifestations of romance. That's why you came up with an idea that you wanted to bring to life. You really hoped that Karkat would like what you were going to do for him

You stayed at home for several days and were very late responding to messages from Karkat. You claimed that you were preparing something grandiose. And when Karkat was sitting at home, he heard music from the street. He went to the window to find out what was going on there. He couldn't say a word when he saw you under his windows. You were playing the guitar, and as soon as you saw him in the window, you started singing

You sang him a real serenade, smiling sincerely. You were singing a love song that you wrote yourself. That's what you've spent the last few days doing. You wanted to write a song that Karkat would really like, and his reaction was not long in coming

He ran out to you on the street and you saw that there were tears in his eyes. You didn't have time to ask him what was the reason for his tears because Karkat hugged you. You almost dropped the guitar, and you hugged him with one arm. You smiled softly, glad that Karkat liked the song you wrote

♐️ Equius Zahhak x Reader 🥛

Equius found it difficult to show romantic feelings. Despite the fact that you were dating, he was still embarrassed to show his feelings openly, which he denied himself, but you saw it perfectly well. That's why you decided to show him your feelings. He didn't know what you were going to do and you intended to take advantage of it

You came to him at hive without telling him in advance, which is why he was worried that you might want to tell him something that could end your relationship once and for all. However, you weren't going to do anything like that. Instead, you turned on the music and started singing, which made Equius very surprised

You sang him a real serenade. You wrote a song especially for him, wanting to show him your feelings. You put all your feelings into this song, hoping to show Equius what you felt. You truly loved him, so you were willing to do so much to show your feelings for him

When you finished singing, you saw how embarrassed Equius was. The blood rushed to his face and he was very nervous. You walked up to him and took his hands in yours. He could feel his heart fluttering at your actions. He was happy with you and your actions only inflamed his feelings more

♓️ Feferi Peixes x Reader 🐠

Feferi often invited you to her hive. She knew that you couldn't go to her on your own, so she always helped you with that. You often stayed with her for a long period of time and this time it was the same. You brought some things with you to, as you said yourself, do an extremely important project, and Feferi was sure that you would be busy. It upset her, but at least you spent some of your time together. She offered to help you several times, but you said everything was fine and you could handle it on your own

One evening you told her that you would like to show her the very project that you have been working on for so long. Feferi was curious to know what it was, because you never once told her what you've been so busy lately. But she didn't expect you to start singing. What you've been doing all this time is writing a song for her. You sang a real serenade for Feferi

Feferi listened to your singing, unable to hold back a smile. The song you wrote for her was beautiful. You sang from the bottom of your heart about how much you loved Feferi and she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. No one has ever done something so sweet and romantic for her before

When you finished singing, Feferi hugged you tightly. She was delighted with your song, which she immediately told you about. You smiled, glad that she liked your serenade. Throughout the writing of the song, you were worried about how she would react, and seeing her reaction now, you couldn't help but rejoice at seeing her happy smile and embarrassed blush

[thewertsearch]

I see Feferi has also mastered the STRONGJUMP.

YOU'R-E FR-E-E-E-E-E-E---------------E!

She’s free. Not just from Eridan - although I’m sure that’s a relief all on its own. No, I think Feferi’s cry of freedom is much louder than that. 

Feferi is free of Alternia, of the responsibilities it heaped upon her. 

She’ll never have to kill another lusus to keep her world alive. She’ll never face the daunting task of brokering peace between the two troll races. She’ll never have to be the next Imperious Condescension, and that can’t be anything but a relief. Feferi claimed to be excited about these things - but excitement can feel a lot like fear, and it’s easy to mistake one for the other.

There’s one responsibility she’s not free of, though. Has Feferi consulted with her Sprite yet? 

This is such a funny trio. 

Every squad got the 🩸BLOOD MUTANT🩸, the CLOWN🤡 and the SERIAL MURDERER😂🔪

CG: PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S JUST HONEY. CG: PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY PLEASE JUST BE HONEY

Sollux should be fine. He ate the Mind Honey before, and it didn’t seem to do any permanent damag-

It is all your fault. You couldn't get him in before the glub.

The Vast Glub has been unleashed. 

Every troll in the galaxy has just been exterminated. The Alternian Empire has fallen, and it wasn’t the slow death I predicted. Right now, ships are falling out of the sky, soldiers are collapsing on the surface, and every species the trolls have crushed under their boot are emerging from the ashes, wondering what the hell happened. 

The celebrating probably hasn’t started yet, but it won’t take long. This galaxy has a very interesting future ahead of it. 

There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.

Do I see the lack of a knife in Jack’s hand? He must really like Karkat.  

[airprime7]

I want to talk about the Prince of Doom

What is Doom?

Doom is mostly interpreted as death, destruction, general sadness and negative things. It’s the opposite of Life, right? So obviously it’s bad, because Life is good.

That’s sort of right.

Doom isn’t the language of death, it’s the language of endings. This is in part shown by the programming language ~ATH, which John, Karkat, and specifically Sollux are versed in.

~ATH is a language made of almost exclusively infinite loops which can only be escaped, and thereby activate an operation through the death of something, be it the user, the computer, or the Universe. But what’s not important is that something has died. As the saying (lyrics) goes “All who die come back again.” Death in Homestuck is never permanent. Double death, perhaps, but standard death? You’ve got dream selves, god tiers, dream bubbles, and Life players. No, death isn’t what’s important: an ending is. The end of something’s life, coinciding with the end of a loop. And with it, the beginning of something else.

Doom also relates to the Doomed timelines (although Mind and Time also have claim to their existences, and Light to a degree too). Doomed timelines represent and incorrect series of events or choices, which would cause paradoxes, breaking or ending a loop, much like in ~ATH. It’s also the end for everyone within the timeline: either they die, are erased for existence, and have to change to escape: Rose becoming memories passed onto her Alpha Dream Self, and Dave more obviously becoming a Sprite to avoid culling by Skaia. Both of these are an end leading to a new beginning.

So Doom is about endings. Sollux, the Mage of Doom, who knows passively about his aspect and suffers through it, has lots of endings. He dies before entering the game, symbolising the end of his life (and the beginning of a new one as his dream self), the end of Alternia’s relevance in the story (until 5 carapacians and a host of leprachauns arrive, beginning a completely different story) and the end of the trolls first mission of entering the Medium, which leads to the beginning of their journey to win the game. Later, he faces Eridan in a duel, and loses, bringing an end to their feud and an end to Sollux’s troubles with voices, and his Psionics. These are respectively replaced with Eridan and Kanaya’s conflict (although it is short lived), his new problems with bifurcation, and his blindness. What’s more, moments later both his love and his best friend die at the hands of Eridan. But for both of them, this end is but a new beginning, with Feferi taking her place in the dream bubbles, her creation of Life after Doom, and Kanaya gaining her Rainbow drinker abilities, a new beginning for her.

Mituna is our other canon Doom player, and he is the Heir of it, the one who passively changes, and becomes. I’m not that well versed in his story, but from what I remember, he sacrifices himself and his Psionics to stop some great threat to the A1 session, thus changing the ending to be Meenah's (the Thief of Life’s) instead (the sacrifice and loss of power also mirrors Sollux and the Ψiioniic’s, where they both expend their power and lives to send a meteor or ship at great speeds through space to where they need to be). In turn, he's also become "Doom", in this case taking on the form of negativity (which still applies to it). He's outwardly mean, offensive, and aggressive toward Meenah, and presumably the other trolls too. The only exceptions to this are Latula, his matesprit, who as the Knight of Mind would perhaps be able to interpret his inner thoughts, and Cronus, who… well Mituna still was rude to him, but let’s say Cronus was worse.

So that’s it for Doom, at least canonically. What about the Prince?

The Prince is a class we have a lot of information on, thanks to Calliope’s analysis on it. It’s framed as the active destroyer of things, who destroys their aspect primarily in themself, or occasionally others for personal gain (although this latter ability fits better with the passive counterpart, the Bard, destroyer through the aspect or within others for benefit of other, in Gamzee’s case benefit of Lord English).

Dirk, Prince of Heart, destroys his romantic prospects with Jake, and his own Heart, in this case taking on the meaning of “Soul” by splintering himself: into Hal; across both his Dream and Real selves simultaneously; into Brain Ghost Dirk; and more, such as Lil Cal being both Lord English, Doc Scratch, and Lord Jack. And furthermore, he’s cold and calculating (or tries to be), tenets of Mind, the opposite of Heart, as Princes tend to invert their aspects.

Eridan, the Prince of Hope, destroys his own Hope for the future by messing up his relationships with Feferi and Vriska, literally destroys the Angels on his land, who are personifications of Hope, and begins Murderstuck (yes I know Vriska did it first, but she only set Terezi into action, whereas Eridan caused a butterfly effect leading to his, Equius, Nepeta and Sollux’s deaths through Karkat and Kanaya’s actions, other than the ones he directly killed) through the murder of arguably the most positive troll, and the HOPESPLOSION of the Matriorb, Kanaya’s Hope for revitalising the troll species. Later, Erisol also contributes to the death of Fefeta, once again a positive ray of Hope in a dark session, although he was helped by another Prince: AR, Prince of Heart, ripping apart two souls in one sprite.

Finally, Kurloz, the Prince of Rage. I can’t say much on him, but I interpret him as destroying his own Rage, his own strong emotions, by limiting the effect he can have directly on other people through the sewing up of his mouth. He also may have has something to do with Mituna’s Rage and anger, although to me that fits more to perhaps a Maid’s role, creating Rage in others.

So, what happens if you put these two together? Well, a Prince of Doom would be one who actively is capable of destroying their own Doom. On the surface level, there’s one clear interpretation of this: Immortality. But hang on, really? Surely immortality is a concept applied to every character, conditionally of course, once they ascend to God Tier. Well, yes, but that’s not what this means. For one, God Tiers can still die. They can be cut, they bleed, they die, and then they come back. The end leads to a new beginning. But a Prince of Doom? They have no end. They destroy their own doom, any danger to them, anything that could harm them, simply doesn’t work. Perhaps any death they would befall as a God Tier (other than one Heroic or Just, as those rules must still stand) simply has no effect at all. No revival is needed if you never died, a forever Life, inverting their aspect like a true Prince.

But also there’s another meaning. Immortality has a double meaning, as my Monster Manual can tell me. Forgive the slight detour:

The Marid poured out of the flask like water and said, ‘Your wish is my command.’ The Halfling, overjoyed, wished for immortality, so the Marid polymorphed him into a fish that flopped around humorously until, finally, it expired. It’s a cautionary tale that has survived the ages, so I suppose the halfling got his wish.” - Kesto Brighteyes, Gnome proprietor of the Parted Veil, a bookshop in Sigil

This story doesn’t speak of literal Immortality, like the halfling wanted, but rather narrative Immortality. The story lives on forevermore. So a Prince of Doom’s story could, perhaps, never end. Even after their passing, “The legend will never die!” to quote Puss in Boots. So a Prince of Doom tells a good story. Maybe not even one they’re the main character of (they’re no Light player, they don’t need the spotlight), but one that lives on because of them.

(Oh, by the way, screw gendered classing, a Prince can be any gender.)

Finally, there’s one last interpretation I can think of for the Prince of Doom. We’ve discussed their physical ability, their narrative position, but what of their self? The character of one who destroys their own ending? Simple: they don’t grown up. Sburb is about change and grown, death of the old self and becoming the new one. Some take to this well, but for someone who’s self can’t die, can’t end? They’re stuck, like Caliborn was. Now this isn’t certainly a bad thing. Doom players are often the most serious of the group, next to Time and Space, the same with Princes, so the Prince of Doom knows to be serious when it’s needed. But generally? They’re having the time of their life. They’re a child, mostly in a good way, full of Life (see that Princely inversion) and colour. It may make their quest harder; the point would have a difficult time getting through to them; but in the end a Prince of Doom is who they are, basically forever. Some may take that as a sign of immaturity, some conviction. It’s up to the author of the story to decide which their Prince takes on.

I wrote this for the @413countdown, and you’ll notice I’m a day late. Whoops. Anyway, it was really fun to take a detailed dive into a classpect. I may consider doing others at another time, but this was good for now. If anyone has any other differing interpretations of a Prince of Doom, that’s perfectly fine. That doesn’t make them or me wrong, because Sburb is a game with thousands of possible variations. Not every Heir of Breath will work like John Egbert, and not every Dave Strider is a Knight of Time!

Anyway, I don’t know how to end this.

[tired-gay-wreck9]

homestuck quadrants are wrong and full of lies but I know the truth; the totally serious essay

starring: the meowrails!! :D, troll romance quadrants, Karkat's terrifying and awful adventures in basic human interactions, and slander

Troll romance doesn't make much of an appearance in Homestuck. It's not delved into; we're only left with what is presented to us at face value. Many don't do deep dives into the deeper aspects of fictional alien relationships, and that's okay. We're not obligated to critically analyze every piece of media we consume. It's okay to just effortlessly enjoy things. These people are also wrong and stupid and i hate them.

My point is that what we're initially presented in Homestuck as Troll Romance is wrong. What most people perceive Troll Romance as is wrong. Let's get into it.

I'll mainly talk about moiraillegence because it's the quadrant with the most screen time and I'm lazy. Specifically gamkar, erifef, and nepquius, since they get the most screen time. It's no question that NepQuius is the healthiest of these three, and GamKar is the least. I'm not accounting for the time when Eridan murdered Feferi because at that point they weren't dating.

"It's because NepQuius upholds the ideals of moiraillegence most closely! EriFef had unrequited flushed feelings, thus deviating from the norm, and Gamzee ditched Karkat to go live in the vents, also deviating from the norm. The Meowrails have open communication and reciprocated pale feelings."

Wrong.

Well, right, in a way. Those things do help. But Equius and Nepeta had something that no one else did. They both contributed. Not only did Nepeta pacify Equius's rages, but Equius pacified Nepeta's dangerlust. He kept her from FLARPing, a dangerous and deadly game.

Eridan never functioned as Feferi's moral compass. He never did anything for her, relationship wise, besides abstaining from mass genocide. I don't really think that's a giant accomplishment.

But in a typical moiriallegence, one troll must pacify the other. There are no deviations from the norm. But the norm suffocates any inklings of romance with false ideas of love. It's a relationship that's all give and no take.

But that's the idea of romance that has stood true for centuries! It's completely unthinkable that the tried and true way to love someone, the ideals it's based upon and the actions thus caused are flawed! That has never happened before! Especially not regarding misogyny, racism, or homophobia! Why would you think that! /s

In fact, Karkat and Gamzee's moiraillegence is a perfect example with everything wrong with Traditional Troll Romance!

“The purpose is to pacify a partner who is dangerous. It's not all about being platonic soul bros forever.”— Andrew Hussie, October 18, 2010.

And that's exactly what GamKar does. Karkat does not love Gamzee. He's afraid of him. And that is why they failed. They failed because they tried to uphold a false standard of romance which was completely devoid of love.

So why would this standard of Moiraillegence stand so strong for so long? Could it have anything to do with the fact that nothing in Alternian society was based on love and kindness and instead on war and profit? Moiraillegence only exists to keep a troll from mass destruction and violence caused by the violent nature of their society.

But thankfully for these poor teenagers, Moiraillegence is the only quadrant that is poisoned by violence (real mcr there, I know). thank god that red romance, which was founded on pity, the only quadrant or relationship in a troll's life where they are not expected to be the best they can and constantly give their all and can just act like normal people is just founded on love and happiness and not at all necessary for a violent society to pacify and give hope to countless troops./s

its great that kismesitude is also great and healthy! and is not at all based on rivalry, which serves to improve a person. forcing constant self-improvement into all aspects of life, work, and interpersonal relationships, a troll's one joy in life would serve a function in a war-forged state. /s

or auspistices, which serve to keep black romance from spreading and causing black infedelity (and community solidarity)/s

I'm not saying that all these feelings are created by troll society and the Condence. I am saying that these natural feelings were distorted so that every aspect of the working class's lives exists only to serve the ultra-wealthy, and also to keep the working class in check.

but if these feelings were so greatly manipulated through centuries of social conditioning, how can we tell which feelings and relationship standards are healthy or weird military bs?

I don't have a concrete answer. I don't know what a healthy troll relationship would look like. None of us do. We can all interpret these quadrants into whatever we like. We have endless possibilities. In short, there is no correct way to interpret them. So stop being a haughty dick about it.

No one has the correct answers, not even you. I am now revoking your pass to bully twelve year old idiot kids for saying that moirails can or cannot kiss. With this post, I will end all fandom discourse. You're welcome.