#felon and the melon

[thegikitiki]

A Call for Critical Thinking

As the trade/tariff situation continues to unfold, American citizens are being warned of potential economic hardship. Phrases like "some pain" and "temporary hardship" downplay the severity of the situation. Seriously, Elon Musk was quoted as saying that last phrase. However, history reminds us that such language can be misleading.

The Great Depression, which lasted over 10 years, is a prime example. By definition, it was indeed a temporary hardship – but one that had a profound impact on generations. This historical context urges us to think critically about the language used to describe economic challenges. We must consider the potential consequences of such actions and demand transparency.

As American citizens, in fact, all of the world, it is essential to remain vigilant and informed. We should scrutinize the information presented, question the language used, and seek diverse perspectives. Only by doing so can we make informed decisions and prepare for the potential outcomes of this chaotic situation.

[snezus-christ-risen]

I am both pleased and ashamed to debut my En//canto fixation (and primary source of dopamine) to the world. About a month ago, after having watched the movie for the forty-eighth time (#momlife), a thought crept into my mind later that night (and I’m blaming the edible for this one): has anyone ever made this Bruno guy sneeze? I knew from the moment I took to Google to find out that I was already in too deep. So I wrote a little something myself, for myself. Part II to follow if this hyper fixation doesn’t burn out and die before I get around to finishing it.

Stubborn Things, Part I - Aperitivos

(Part II - https://www.tumblr.com/snezus-christ-risen/748150063515287552/back-blessed)

Colds were stubborn things. Notoriously incurable, it’s only natural that they would pose a challenge to the woman who could heal almost anything. To Julieta, almost anything was an evasive mental itch, a thorn in her side, one elusive combination of ingredients away from becoming everything. What did it matter how many bones or tendons she could mend if she couldn’t even conquer the sniffles?

Julieta was a stubborn thing, too (and maybe, maybe a bit of a perfectionist). She resolved to solve this puzzle if it took the rest of her life. But that was, God willing, quite a few years yet. Her brother was sick now.

Ay, Bruno. Su conejito extraño. He was another thorn in her side (but how she’d missed him so!). So much like her Augustín at times that it was alarming, except Bruno’s chaos was more… deliberate, governed not by butterfingers and left feet, but a seemingly insatiable drive to push himself past his breaking point as often as possible. Despite having developed a robust immunity to most things (owed, in part, to a lifetime of keeping close company with rats), he was particularly susceptible to catching colds. Naturally, this made him the perfect lab rat for his sister’s culinary experiments. Julieta wouldn’t deny that she subjected him to a lot over the years, but nobody ever claimed the field of medicine was without its sacrifices.

Bruno was late to breakfast that morning, which was unusual. Since his return, he was always the first one at the table, so eager he was to make up for lost time with his family. Alma was in the middle of asking Antonio to go check on his tío when her son shuffled in, looking just as pale and tired as he did when he first emerged from the walls. Not that he ever looked particularly healthy. Coupled with the fact that his visions were known to sap his stamina, nobody thought to question his appearance. Bruno quietly apologized for his tardiness, then sat down at the table and cleared his throat a few times, covering up the sound of his fist knocking against his chair. Julieta heard a hint of something in his voice, something that kept drawing her attention back to him as the meal progressed.

Only a few minutes had passed before he scraped his chair away from the table, burying his face in the sleeve of his ruana to stifle a volley of sneezes. A pair of rats dropped to the floor before scurrying away. The conversations around the table ceased abruptly, giving way to stares and scattered blessings. Bruno sniffled, withering under his family’s collective acknowledgement.

“Sorry! Sorry…” It was unclear if he was apologizing to them or his rats.

Camilo resumed (or perhaps never stopped) his reenactment of the argument he had witnessed at the market that morning, talking quickly and switching rapidly between faces in a way that reminded Julieta of cards being shuffled. Her nephew had been so eager to share what he saw that nothing else seemed to register for him. She flicked her gaze back to Bruno as he returned to the table, looking upset with himself for having interrupted. He reached instinctively for the salt cellar, but then met his mother’s eyes and withdrew his hand as if from a flame. It swung around to grip at his left arm instead. Julieta recognized this as a self-soothing gesture, except this time Bruno’s fingers were digging into his arm.

“Are you feeling okay, tío?” Dolores asked, having lost interest in her brother’s story a long time ago. “You’ve been sneezing all morning.”

Bruno shot Dolores a look of betrayal so dramatic he could have been performing a scene from one of his telenovelas. While he was distracted, Julieta seized the opportunity to reach across the table for his forehead. “Are you getting sick, manito?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Bruno said, dodging her hand and sliding down in his chair. He started to pull his hood up, but when Alma cleared her throat in disapproval he yanked it back down again, sitting up straighter. “Really, I feel great, I’m just, uh… still getting used to the air out here, you know.”

Nobody seemed convinced, least of all Bruno himself, but nobody challenged him, either. At least, not until he interrupted Alma during her morning rundown. He had just enough notice to stutter out a breathless apology and twist away from the table, crushing his fist against his nose. Julieta winced as he stifled two sneezes into silence without a breath in between. She kicked her brother under the table, frustrated by his stubbornness, and mouthed stop it. How many times did she - did they all have to tell him not to do that? Bruno blinked, looking dizzy and indignant at having been cheated out of his usual pattern of three sneezes. His retaliation efforts were less than successful; Julieta saw him bite his lip to hold back a curse as his foot struck the leg of the table instead of her own.

Alma, wearing an impassive expression, cleared her throat and waited patiently for her grown children to settle. While Bruno was preoccupied with his body’s latest betrayal, she casually brushed his curls back from his forehead to rest her hand there. He looked at her in stunned silence, breathing more quickly than usual through slightly parted lips.

“Bruno is unwell,” she stated matter-of-factly as she withdrew her hand, then held it up to cut off his objection. “He will remain in Casita today so he can rest.”

Julieta was surprised; Bruno actually had a few appointments lined up for this morning. Their mother never used to let something like a cold get in the way of her family’s obligations to the town. They were all still getting used to this new Alma, who, while not perfect, was learning to see the benefits of resting and recovering over crashing and burning. Julieta sat up a little straighter, wondering how much further she could push their luck.

“Mamá, if it would be alright-” she began, and Bruno, apparently aware of where this was going, started shaking his head.

“Uh, no, nope, not uh,” he said, rapping his fist against the table with each syllable.

“-I’d like to stay here too and test out some new recipes-”

Bruno continued to shake his head. Julieta closed her mouth and frowned, genuinely wounded by his fervent refusal. “Do you have so little faith in me?” she asked, and that was all it took for his protests to melt into praise.

“Juli, you are incredible, and you know I know you can do anything, I’m just… .” He swallowed nervously as she eyed his untouched plate. “Full? So full. I, uh, ate earlier, you know, I’m still getting used to the new schedule, well, I guess the old schedule, and besides, and most importantly, I’m not sick, so it would b-be a w-waste to… heh!”

Julieta prided herself on being the most mature of her siblings, but something about Bruno always called her inner child out to play. She just couldn’t resist the urge to tease when the opportunities presented themselves. Catching a glimpse of Pepa across the table, smirking as their brother’s breath hitched helplessly, only egged her on further. “Perdona, a waste to what?” Julieta asked, fully aware that providing clarification in his current state would pose a challenge.

He surprised her by squeezing his eyes shut and holding his breath before forcing it back into a steady rhythm. She had never seen him do that before - a technique he learned living in the walls, perhaps? Had he been doing that for the last ten years to avoid detection? Julieta was impressed with his self-control, but she could imagine how unsatisfying it must have felt to deny his body something it desperately needed to do. Bruno didn’t look like he was going to sneeze anymore, but he did look ten times more miserable than before.

“Disculpe…” He sighed it more than spoke it, then sniffled again, wincing at how wet it sounded. “I forgot what I was saying.”

“Ay, mijo.” Alma passed him her unused napkin before waving her hand at him, directing him to turn away from the table and blow his nose. She then turned to Julieta. “You will stay with your brother today and see what you can do. I’m sure Mirabel would be happy to bring your food into town. We have those new herbs that Isabela grew. Perhaps they’ll do the trick for your…” She paused as Bruno blew his nose, then looked at him pointedly. “… purposes, today.”

He gave a little cough as he crumpled the napkin in his lap. “I suppose I don’t get a say in any of this.”

Julieta shook her head and he huffed out a sigh, grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes. He seemed resigned to his fate. Good. That would make things go a lot more smoothly for the both of them.

[i-live-inyourwalls]

i just know her gay ass was going crazy

[arianod]

Say Goodbye To Our National Parks

[saberwitch]

sneak snack

[zzencat]

Guuuud morning to you jumbotrons and protons I’m gonna get started on readings shortly!! I’m having breakfast rn but as always, v thankful for your patience 😌👍

[vinnival]

mel. short for,,,, melon

oh lird they found me

[summersandsuchzine]

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

Next up we have: @watermelon--felon

“Hi I'm Melon! I'm a lesbian artist whose current interests are alvin and the chipmunks, gravity falls and of course, mp100!”

See the full piece in our zine this summer ☀️

[gardenerian]

I always pictured Ian branching off to do something else and Mickey staying being full boss mode on their business, maybe even letting Lip in on the help. It hard to ponder not knowing what the limitations are with convicted felons lol. I love the idea of them working apart because it gives them opportunities to miss eachother!!!! those 6/7 hours apart are just “excruciating” for them ☺️ they grow sooo much more obnoxious! and I think Ian would foam at the month coming home to his husband and apartment lmao.

see what i love about this is that they're not real and you're in charge! convicted felon, conschmicted melon! they can do whatever they want!!! and honestly, what's so much fun is that i can imagine any number of futures for them and love every single one of them. if you argued it well enough, you could convince me that they both become birthday clowns (oops i already thought up the backstory askldfh).

but yes! the idea of them going out and doing their thing, thinking of each other all day long, then coming home to rest and hang out and complain about their days together.... i love it. i love it!! ian would 100000000% be foaming at the mouth, screaming in rush hour traffic about how his HUSBAND is WAITING for him at HOME, so GOOOOOOOOOOOO LET OFF THE BRAKES, ASSHOLE 😡

i love them bopping around in their ambulance together, i love them parting ways in the driveway every morning with a sloppy kiss, i love them as birthday clowns, i love it alllllllllll 🤡

[melomelomuskmelon]

hello,,,, beastars community

my account has gotten terminated for reasons i am honestly unsure of, but given i post a lot in this tag and its all.. phucking gone now i'm just gonna post here and re-introduce myself i'm lymantria, i selfship with melon and am writing an au fic called love's failures, i had a bunch of untagged infodumps on my old blog but thats.. all gone now, heres all of my fanart that ive done for my blorbo over the months , i'm also the guy working on a cosplay/plushie of the little felon freak so i'd appreciate any follows to hopefully get my following back

[thease2096]

quit eating melons with the felons and come sniff crack cocaine with the crimnally insane

[goffelmeansspork]

The way the rest of the Furious five meet mantis is hilarious

The first thing they learn about him is that he's committing medical malpractise and one fight later their like " oh thats my bff, my brother from another mother, my felon who sucked on another melon, i would trust him with my live"

[berryevilpoptart]

To all you not voters and third party for “moral reasons” voters. Fuck you. Fuck you so hard you are the bad guys, this is your fault. This blood is on your hands.

Friendly reminder, my tumblr is not for ANYONE who supports the melon felon and his band of deplorable pieces of shit. Get fucked. You are also a piece of shit.

[zzencat]

Free mini readings! Quick questions + advice - Open

Good morning felons and melons. I’m gonna open free readings on asks (not dms) temporarily 😌👍 I’ll let you know when it closes but it won’t be for a couple of days.

Feel free to send in your questions on love (can be 18+, but for adults), career, and I’ll answer with my tarot deck. No death or physical illness related issues pls!! And no asking if your grandma’s gonna make it bc fam…✋😶

Anon or not, please send in an emoji that you think represents you, sun sign, and your initials! 3 questions max. Thank you!! :D

- Tedster 😼

[mashiiiko]

🍉 happi genji doodle ✨

i love love love all the little details in this skin, theyre so cute!! i was thinking about drawing his bagged fishy in his hands instead of the melon but then i thought of him stealing watermelon slices jsfiuafsfhius (you can see melon felon genji in the last image <3)

[commander-writergirl]

So I know it’s probably been said (and this is tumblr) but if you live in California, specifically LA… PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BE CAREFUL AND DO NOT ENGAGE WITH VIOLENCE.

If you haven’t heard the Felon Melon is sending the National Guard to LA after ICE became violent with peaceful protestors (LAPD even backed this up).

Remember he wants this. He wants to put us all under martial law. Either do not go out or do not engage and sit down. Show that it is him and his cronies creating violence.

Hopefully the military remember their Oath is to the Constitution and the citizens of the US, not the president.

I pray smarter heads will prevail and that his plan will fail.

(Also in the East Coast so it’s three hours ahead of the West Coast)