#felt very very mild disappointment of her not being in the trailer but she is doing so many other amazing things

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

one day. i will see aabria iyengar on game changer. but alas today is not that day

[candychronicles]

fall festival // r. tanaka

A/N: this is my take on the autumn/fall themed Haikyuu HQ server collab! this is also my first time ever writing for HQ so of course it had to be for the absolute loml Tanaka!

CHARACTER PAIRING: Tanaka Ryuunosuke x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2,359 

WARNINGS: some mild angst, jealousy, crying

SYNOPSIS: what was supposed to be a fun day filled with apple picking and hayrides turned into a disaster. will anything ever get better?

Want to read more fall themed treats? Head on over to the masterlist!

the soft crunching of leaves underneath your feet could only barely be heard as you walked shyly next to Tanaka. wispy puffs of hot air left your mouth and curled up into the air, leaving a trail of smoke in your wake. he was talking animatedly next to Nishinoya, hands waving around in the air to emphasize his point, going as far as to jab his hands accidentally into the side of your head. you winced slightly, rubbing your now tender temple delicately, but he only muttered a mild apology before continuing to talk, yet the corners of your mouth still turned up in an amused smile, simply happy that he was happy.

it was only when you arrived at your destination did you break your quiet stupor, squealing and clapping your hands excitedly, even being as bold as to grab the bald headed boys hand in a gesture of elation as you raced towards the line. as quickly as you grasped him you let go, your confidence now gone as you settled back into a normal state of mind, but he seemed to pay no mind, only chuckling at your enthusiasm and motioning to Noya to join you two in line. 

“you’re quite excited, aren’t you?” came the teasing yet chipper voice of your short best friend.

“yeah, yeah. i just like fall, okay? this is supposed to be a fun day, so why wouldn’t i be excited?” you replied, sticking your tongue out at him and laughing.

Tanaka joined in on Noya’s teasing, placing his hand on your head and ruffling your hair. despite the familiar gesture, your cheeks still heated up in embarrassment and something else, which did not go unnoticed. Noya smirked knowingly at you, but you only shook your head at him before fixing your hair and swatting Tanaka affectionately on the arm, which he barely even noticed as his eyes were glued on the sight of a very pretty girl who was handling the tickets. immediately, your mood soured, and your eyes shifted down to the ground, scuffing along as the line quickly moved up.

“three all-pass tickets please,” you politely requested, exchanging money with a smile despite the knots of jealousy that tickled your stomach every time you looked at her doe-like eyes.

“wow, you think i should try to get her number later?” Tanaka asked breathlessly as he followed you into the farm festival, Noya responding with a joke, trying to lighten the tension that had settled from you.

“let’s go shopping and fruit picking last so we don’t have to carry our bags around everywhere. do you want to try the maze first or the hayride?” you cut in, not wanting to hear anymore about the girl but also not wanting to sound insensitive.

“the maze!” the boys replied in unison, racing off towards the front of the structure, leaving you to trail behind with a disappointed sigh, already not wanting to be here despite your excitement only moments before.

the maze took longer than you’d like to admit as the boys kept arguing on which way to go and kept getting everyone lost several times. finally, you took charge, grabbing them by their jackets and dragging them along until they were safely out on the other side.

“wow, we definitely would’ve been lost forever if it hadn’t been for you. thanks!” they choursed once again, nodding their heads animatedly before running off towards the hayride, leaving you yet again to follow after them.

you groaned in frustration when you realized it was the same pretty girl from earlier now on the hayride as the guide. she smiled widely when she noticed the three of you, greeting you all with a wide flourish of her arms, helping you up onto the trailer, hands lingering on Tanaka’s arm just a moment too long for it to be casual.

this is usually your favorite part of any festival: the rattling sound of the tractor, the gentle crisp breeze on your face, the scratchy hay underneath your body, the sights and smells of the orchard and farm, but instead your hands bundled into the straw beneath you so tight they left red scratches in your palms, teeth clenched as you listened to Tanaka and Noya flirt with the pretty girl the whole ride. her giggles rattled in your brain, a strong reminder that she was enjoying their company immensely. you resolved to simply watch the scenery roll by, body turned away from the boys, as you tried to enjoy the ride as best as possible.

you didn’t mean to fall in love with one of your best friends. you wished it never would’ve happened, but here you were, madly infatuated with Tanaka Ryuunosuke. it started off as an odd friendship, the pair approaching you one day for some help on math homework. after that, it became a comfortable situation, you often helping them with schoolwork, going to the occasional practice and of course any games you could. in exchange, they protected you from any and all harm, whether that was from an outside force or you beating yourself up on a bad day. little did you know one of them would be the one causing you harm after not too long. 

you realized you started falling for him during one of their practice matches back in high school. though that time was long gone, you now all in college, it felt like yesterday. seeing him so focused and dedicated during the game, you finally understood how much he did for you despite dedicating his whole being to the sport. it made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside knowing how much he cared about you, more so than Noya at times. while Noya knew everything about you, Tanaka understood everything about you, was there for you always, no questions asked, and helped you through more than one hard situation. you didn’t know how to explain it, you just knew that he was the one for you.

“hey, you coming?” you heard Tanaka’s voice, hand outstretched as he motioned to the now stopped tractor.

you stood up, ignoring his offer for help, before jumping off the trailer, also ignoring the help of the girl that had managed to catch the attention, and the hearts, of both boys.

“let’s go pumpkin picking next?” you finally spoke, turning around with the best smile that you could muster.

“i think we’re going to stay here for a minute. catch up with you later?” Tanaka asked, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. 

before Noya had a chance to argue, you had already spun on your heels, walking towards the direction of the pumpkins, finding a secluded spot behind a tree and unceremoniously plopping down, letting yourself finally break as you cried for the first time that day. 

it was only a few minutes before someone spotted you, glancing around curiously before they approached you with a frown.

“hey, uh, not trying to bother you or anything, but are you okay?” the strange guy asked, crouching down to get level with your face.

you sniffled and rubbed your face against your sweater before looking up with glossy eyes, replying, “yeah, just boy drama. i’ll be fine, thank you for your concern.”

“do you want to be alone, or do you want some company? i’m here with a group of friends but they disappeared and i don’t really want to be alone. we could pick some pumpkins and apples, maybe browse the shops a bit? only if you want, i mean.”

you nodded your head in agreement before picking yourself up off the ground, exchanging names before laughing at the ludicracy of the situation. 

the next hour had been spent picking out the perfect pumpkin and a bushel of apples, chatting as if you had been friends forever. there was a comfortable feeling between the two of you, as if you had both shared something that was meant for no one else, something that only the two of you could understand with any real clarity. 

it was only when you were walking around the vendors, sniffing candles, taste testing pies, cookies and cakes, looking at all the various trinkets and decorations, that the day was ruined once again.

“hey punk, who do you think you are?” you heard the angry voice of Tanaka.

before he had a chance to cause any real damage, you stepped in front of your new friend, calmly explaining who he was.

“that doesn’t explain why he’s here doing everything with you that we were supposed to do with you,” he argued once more, stepping forward so that you were practically nose to nose, challenging you to step down.

however, for once in your life, you didn’t relent to his overprotective nature, instead choosing to jab him in the chest, angrily muttering at him.

“you were the one who ditched me for some girl that you didn’t even know. don’t get all high and mighty with me now. i was supposed to be doing this with you two but you guys were nowhere to be found and i wasn’t going to spend the last hour crying alone in the pumpkin patch.”

“you were crying?” he asked, but before you got a chance to respond, Noya came out from behind Tanaka and sprung a hug on you, holding tight and rocking back and forth.

“where have you been? Tanaka and I have been looking for you for almost an hour!”

“i-i thought you two were going to be talking to that girl for awhile so i went ahead and did everything with my new friend. why did you leave so soon?”

“we talked for awhile but she asked us to stay longer, specifically Tanaka, but he said he was with you and we left to go searching for you, only to find out that you had left with some guy. what the hell?”

“you guys are forgetting you ditched me first. you don’t really have a right to get mad at me,” you deadpanned, crossing your arms angrily as you eyed both of them.

before anything else could’ve been done, a group of people waved your way and you realized that your friend had found his group again.

“hey thanks for hanging but i’m going to go rejoin them now. you have my number, definitely text me if you ever want to hang!” he said with a smile before waving and racing over to join his circle again.

“like hell she’d ever hang out with you again!” Tanaka screeched after him, his forehead pulsing in anger.

“actually, i would. he was very nice and good company, something that i needed today.”

“pssh, what, you like him or something? going to go out on a date? like hell i’d let that happen.”

“i’m not a kid anymore Ryuu, you can’t tell me what to do. i can date who i’d like when i like. why would it matter to you, anyways?”

“i’m supposed to protect you, we both are. why would i let you get with some guy like that?”

“and who am i supposed to get with? someone like you? someone who flirts with every girl he lands his eyes on despite having someone right in front of him that’s loved him for years?” you challenged back, not even caring about outing yourself at this point, anger boiling in your chest, nostrils flared and eyes narrowed in disappointment.

when he didn’t respond, his own eyes wide and mouth gaping open like a fish out of water, did you scoff, turning your back and walking towards the next vendor, head shaking in disappointment. 

“man, what are you doing? this is your chance! the girl you’ve loved for years just confessed her feelings and you’re letting her walk away! what are you, an idiot?” Noya yelled, smacking Tanaka on the back of the head before pushing him towards you.

you felt a body collide with yours and you turned around to find Tanaka pressed against you. before you even had a chance to yell at him, his hands were on your face and lips were pressed against yours in a feverish and desperate dream.

“i thought you were joking or that i was delirious. i did not think i heard you right at all but Noya said i did so i just came out and kissed you without thinking about it. i hope you didn’t mind because i really want to do it again,” he said breathlessly against your lips, eyes still shut from the kiss.

you blinked owlishly at him, unsure of how to respond, before throwing all caution to the wind and pressing your lips against his once more, this time winding your arms around his neck, smiling into the kiss.

“so i wasn’t hearing things, huh? does this mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” he joked, finally pulling away to look at you, really look at you, eyes wide in surprise and adoration.

“no you dork. i’m surprised you didn’t figure out anything sooner. Noya can barely keep his mouth shut around you, teasing me like crazy. and of course i’ll be your girlfriend, i can’t believe you’d even ask after a kiss like that.”

“hey lovebirds, congrats! i’m glad you finally got together after what felt like a million years. please don’t make it awkward though, you two are my best friends and i’d hate for me to be the third wheel all the time,” Noya half-joked, walking up to you two and slapping you both on the backs.

you and Tanaka smiled devilishly at each other before each planting a big kiss on Noya’s cheek, laughing when his face lit up and he scrubbed furiously at the skin, muttering about how gross you both were and how he was going to get you back for that.

at that moment in time though, nothing else mattered. you had your best friends, one who was now your boyfriend, your pumpkins, and the crisp autumn air that carried the weight of the world off your shoulders and into the darkening night, never to be worried about again. 

[booasaur]

Of course Alice Wu isn't supposed to fix years of misrepresentation, but she's someone who has been to hundreds of festivals and met fans and she knows how the community is waiting for a romcom and she gets a chance with Netflix and makes a movie about a friendship between a girl and a guy? that's disappointing tbh even in the comments everyone missed the point of the trailer and are shipping the lesbian and the guy.

Nooo, they’re not! Are they?? Nooooooo. Surely it’s just a teeny tiny group of people.

But leaving those people aside, it sounds like you do still kind of think Alice Wu should have made a different movie? Even if all that is true, it’s still not her responsibility. She wrote what she felt inspired by and this is the story she wanted to tell. I think all the choices she made were important to her, not just that it’s f/f, but that it’s in small town Americana, that it’s a white guy she befriends and who begins to understand her, that we can find commonality with anyone. She was inspired to write this after the 2016 elections, there was something more here than just “let me throw something down”. The choices here weren’t a platonic m/f friendship vs a f/f romance, it would have just been this movie or none at all. If anyone’s on the hook here, it’d be Netflix and Hollywood as a whole, who’ve made so few lighter-toned f/f movies that this one has to stand for them all. 

I totally get being disappointed by it but two things can be true: 1) I wish this were different2) Alice Wu can make what she wants

Neither negates the other. It just means you and Alice Wu are different people and like different things, which is totally normal and healthy and fine? It’s only when it goes from “I like something else” to “I wish this was something else” to “this creator should have made something else” that you get near dangerous territory. And honestly, even that last comment is pretty mild, it’s just, when you consider your audience, which is Anyone On the Internet, we want to be a little more careful because often that’s not where it stops, it goes to “this creator is stupid/selfish/bigoted in some way for not doing this instead”. Not saying that’s what you’re saying! Not at all. But I think we all know how things can spiral, or even be open to misinterpretation.

I went to my friend and said actually much more extreme things, because I know she understands where I come from, what exactly irritated me, what I meant and didn’t mean, and most importantly, I knew she was on the same page. Aside from not wanting this to spiral out, I know people are excited about this, I don’t want to ruin it for them. My priority in answering these asks is trying to make sure everyone feels heard but I especially don’t want to take this good thing and bring anyone down.

Which kind of hilariously takes me to literally the very next ask:

And another anon:

alrighty so originally the only things i knew about The Half of It was GAY and alice wu but now having seen the trailer is see that its a little less gay and more about friendship (which is fine). Heres to hoping they go nancy drew-esque in that the guy is like Ace and is more than ok with being friends instead of getting the girl. Either way i will watch and keep any and all negative opinions to myself cause Alice doesnt need or deserve that shit

I do think the guy will be fine, I think it is very much a story of Paul and Ellie’s friendship winning out over everything, not just small-town racism or homophobia but the more focused “relatable”–at least in fiction–issue of liking the same girl. But you know, exactly the same as above except in reverse, you can have your preferences and not like something and not have it be an attack, heh

And another anon:

the ironic thing is alice wu HAS made a romcom with a full on happy ending with saving face years ago but that movie gets so overlooked and underappreciated

She has, she absolutely has, but even if she hadn’t, it wouldn’t have been on her to provide one now. 

Although on the other hand, I also don’t think the existence of that or IMAY can be used to stop people from wishing there were more happy f/f romcoms in general. It’s not even like there’s been a jump in the number in the last few years, even though sometimes people act like the lack of rep has been addressed. And that’s aside from the generational differences. Someone who wasn’t born when Saving Face came out could be old enough to be the target audience for this teen movie.

And another anon:

I’m not sure but the trailer looked good. And I like the platonic side

That’s good, anon! I think it’ll be uplifting and even many people, like myself, who wish for something more romance-centric, will like it.

[sunshinelikesstarwars]

Paths of Life 9

AO3 - FanFiction.net

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 -  9 - ?

The new trailer is out! I gotta finish this before the new season!! Again, @plainrea and @bellehillary, your comments kept me motivated to write, so thank you so much!

They came out of hyperspace and the Mandalorian began flying them towards the open hangar.

Omera took a deep breath. They had a plan. Everything would be fine.

They landed and she, for a brief second, imagined that they decided to fly away immediately. Maybe they could start homesteading in the Unknown Regions. No one would look for them in that wild part of the galaxy, right? Surely that would be safer than this?

But no, it was time to focus—she was no longer Omera the farmer, but Mer the bounty hunter. The new clothes they had traded her woven items for felt strange, but she tried to relax and settle into them. Calm and detached. She was a killer, a trick-shot, her rifle strapped to her back and her pistol an increasingly normal weight on her hip. She was merciless and unflinching. Aloof and unaffected. And it was just an act—this would not be what she would become. This was a cloak, to be worn in disguise and then set aside.

For she may be any or all of those things at times—merciless, a killer—but they were not parts of herself that she liked.

She checked the children, tucked away in the berth. “Alright. Remember, be very quiet. You’ll be just fine. Winta, you have the headphones?” Her daughter held up the two sets they had picked up. “Good. You guys can listen to some quiet stories, like we talked about. No making noises, though. We’ll be done with this soon, and then we’ll go somewhere nice for tonight, okay?” Winta’s wide eyes showed how unconvinced she was of the sanity and safety of this whole event and Omera wanted to sigh.

This was risky. It was, as the Mandalorian had so gracefully put it a few nights before, a bad idea. But without guild work, bounty hunting was harder than ever, with clients either not paying in full or at all unless threatened. Omera’s weaving had gotten them the clothes she was currently wearing, yes, but it had taken an obscene amount of time to make all the belts she had with the scant resources available to her. Winta could help her, but had limited patience, and the baby needed to be watched most of the time so he didn’t run off into mischief.

She turned as the Mandalorian hopped down the last few rungs of the ladder and the kids both looked at him as he came over. “You two all set?” he asked, coming over to gently pat the baby’s head. Winta nodded, smiling wide, and Omera bit back a laugh. When the Mandalorian asked if she was alright, Winta would happily say yes, but not for her own mother? So that’s how it was going to be for a while. Omera would have to take the Mandalorian aside and talk to him about that—but not now. (There seemed to be a lot of those “not now” conversations, actually.) Now, it was time to play her part to keep her kids fed for possibly the next couple of weeks.

“Be good, and remember: stay quiet,” Omera added, kissing both children’s foreheads before the Mandalorian shut the berth door.

The two parents looked at each other in the quiet. Omera felt her heart racing, her palms sweating. There were so many ways this plan could go wrong. After a bit, the Mandalorian tipped his head towards the exit and Omera took a deep breath, then nodded. Time to get going.

The hangar was busier than she had anticipated, although it was a fairly good-sized space station, so maybe it wasn’t too strange. People paused when they saw them: a Mandalorian, rare, and a Mandalorian’s partner, even rarer.

They approached a man with wild gray hair, who laughed and called the Mandalorian “Mando,” a nickname that had never sat well with Omera. She wondered what the Mandalorian thought of it. “Mando” was being especially quiet and restrained--for all that this man pretended camaraderie with the Mandalorian, she didn’t think the feelings were genuine on either side.

The man was called Ran, and she noticed his sharp eyes linger on her. “And who’s this you’ve brought along?”

“My partner, Mer,” the Mandalorian replied. “She’s a crack-shot. Good for any job.”

“Well, I’m afraid I can’t pay her for this one. With you and your ship, we’ve got everyone we need.”

They’d discussed the possibility that Ran wouldn’t hire her on. What they hadn’t discussed was the possibility that he’d want to use the Razor Crest. Omera felt the start of a mild panic. She took deep breaths to disperse it and attempted to look mildly disappointed by not getting the job instead.

“The Razor Crest? That wasn’t part of the deal. What do you need my ship for?”

Ran talked about it being off-the-grid, something Omera didn’t really understand. Surely there were other unregistered ships? He seemed to have decided, though, and she felt the Mandalorian’s reluctance to push too hard against him. Ran might decide not to give them the job, or simply have the two of them shot and take the ship, kids and all.

She stepped up next to the Mandalorian, who turned to look at her. She really wished she could see his eyes, but she tried her best to communicate with hers. “I can go get the ship ready, if you want,” she said. Warn the kids. Hide any evidence of anyone besides “Mando” and “Mer.”

He turned back to Ran. “How long of a job is it?”

Ran, who was watching them with interest, shrugged. “An hour or two, three tops. In and out. Your, ah, lady friend here—” Omera frowned at him. She had a name, thank you— “can even wait in the ship, if she doesn’t mess with anything or slow you down. Might be a bit crowded, but like I said, it’s not a long job.”

Omera was still breathing deep, as slow as she could without drawing attention to herself. She needed to be calm. If they took the job, she would have to explain the change in plans to the kids quickly. Oh, it hurt her heart to leave them in the berth for so long, but it was the safest place on the ship—out of the way of prying eyes.

She wondered if this low-level panic would become the new normal for her. She wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

It took another long moment, but the Mandalorian eventually nodded. Ran smiled and smacked his pauldron. “Excellent! I’ll introduce you to the crew.”

As the other man turned away, Omera leaned towards the Mandalorian. “Like I said, I’ll get the ship ready.” He nodded again, so distant, even from her, and she wondered what he wanted to say. There wasn’t time, though—she had to hurry.

She set off at not-quite-a-jog to the ship. Once inside, she glanced to see if anyone was watching from outside and saw a few mechanics moving parts, so she focused on cleaning up any toys or other things that would give away the game. After that was done, she looked out again. She was worried someone would be coming up the ramp already—but she had to risk it.

She opened the berth door to see two surprised little faces. Winta started to smile and pulled off her headphones, but Omera shook her head. “New plan. Stay very quiet. More people will be on the ship for a while.” Then she shut the door and checked to see if anyone was watching. None—they were safe. Her shoulders relaxed (she hadn’t even realized they had tensed up) and she felt her heart racing.

If the Mandalorian suggested they do something like this again, she was going to have a very long talk with him.

A droid was the first to board the ship. It (he?) looked at her, then proceeded to look around the ship. “I am Zero. I am the pilot for this job. I must run a diagnostic of the ship.” He then climbed up the ladder to the cockpit before waiting for any response. A quick glance out the door showed that the Mandalorian was standing with a group of people around a holo-deck and that no one else was likely to board anytime soon, so Omera climbed up after the droid.

He was running a diagnostic, like he said, but when he checked the comms, a recorded message started to play. When the droid didn’t immediately stop the recording, Omera walked over and turned it off. “If you don’t mind,” she said in a hard voice. He looked at her for only a moment before turning back to his work. She frowned. The droids back on Sorgan had been very polite—this one seemed nothing like them. She supposed he wouldn’t be if he was a bounty hunter or something similar.

She waited until he was done, then followed him down. He left the ship without saying anything and Omera wasn’t sure if she was annoyed or relieved.

A Twi'lek boarded next. She glanced around lazily. “Just like I remember it. He certainly hasn’t changed much.” Her gaze landed on Omera and she smiled a sharp, unkind sort of smile, twirling what looked like a dagger in her fingers and looking Omera up and down. “And you must be Mer. I’m surprised to see him with a...partner. Especially with...well, I’m sure you already know.”

Omera did not like this woman, she knew that.

The purple-skinned woman continued, “I guess that makes me, well, the ex, in this situation.” Another smile and a horrendous giggle. “How awkward for you. I’m Xi’an, if you were wondering. Maybe he mentioned me?” Omera let no reaction show. This woman was trying to get a rise out of her, and she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. And she highly doubted the Mandalorian had consented to anything but a working relationship with this Xi’an. “I always knew he’d come back,” the woman went on, strolling around, taking in the stored luggage and bedroll before setting down on the bench and starting to balance one of her daggers on a finger. “It was just a matter of time.”

Sweet stars above, did this woman think she was a holostar or something? Did real people say things like that?

But Xi’an’s words reminded Omera of what the Mandalorian had said, about how coming back here felt like crawling back to an abusive master. Oh, she was liking this job less and less.

Two men boarded the ship, one a pale-skinned human and the other a red-skinned alien she didn’t know the species of.

The human waved. “Hi, I’m Mayfeld. The big guy’s Burg.” Burg grunted.

Omera nodded back at them, arms crossed. “Mer.” She wanted this job to be over with already.

Both the droid and the Mandalorian returned, and it was suddenly a bit claustrophobic in the small area. The two of them both went to the cockpit and they were soon underway.

Not too long into the journey, Burg began pacing and growling. Omera moved in between him and the closed door of the berth, just in case. He punched the ceiling and she winced, but it didn’t leave any dents, thank goodness.

Xi’an snapped at him, to which he just growled again.

Normally when things around her were this tense, she’d try to diffuse the situation with some soft words. Maybe ask about interests or planets they’d visited. Easy conversation, mostly pointless, but calming.

Something told her that wouldn’t work too well with this group.

Still, she was considering striking up a conversation with Mayfeld, who seemed polite enough when he’d introduced himself, when Burg started pressing buttons and activated the small armory.

Startled, Omera quickly left her post by the berth to close the doors that had swung open. “Those are private.”

Burg growled and looked about ready to punch her.

“Hey, hey, we all have stuff we don’t want people getting into,” Mayfeld said. He had risen to his feet and held out his hands in a placating gesture. “We’re good, right, Burg? Mer?” Omera wanted to raise an eyebrow. Was he suggesting she was somehow at fault here? She kept her face neutral, though, and nodded once. Burg just growled again, but paced off to the other end of the ship.

It was then that the Mandalorian hopped down from the upper level. Omera hoped that now, maybe, tensions would ease.

Oh, she hoped in vain.

What followed could only be described as taunting, possibly discrimination, and definitely out of line.

Omera wanted to scream at them, kick them off their ship, and fly far, far away. But the Mandalorian did nothing. Was this what his life had been like with this crew? Offensive innuendos from “ladies” and whoever else, outright hostility and mockery of his way of life? How could he bear it in silence?

When Burg looked like he was about to grab the Mandalorian’s helmet and rip it off, Omera did something very foolish. She stepped in between them and put her hand on her pistol. Summoning every bit of righteous bravery (and possibly stupidity) she could find, she said, “I think it’s time for you to take a seat, Burg. I think I hear the ship getting ready to exit hyperspace.”

If she had thought Burg looked angry before, he looked furious now.

“Hey, it’s just a bit of fun,” Mayfeld said with a sneer as Xi’an cackled. “Just a joke. Nothing Mando can’t handle, right? Maybe not, though, if you need some woman to fight your battles for you.” Omera couldn’t believe she’d ever thought he was polite.

“All the same,” she replied, willing herself not to tremble as Burg growled lowly, “it’s time to sit down.”

The ship did exit hyperspace then, immediately beginning to spin and jerk around. As she fell to the ground, she heard her daughter shriek before stifling it. Her blood ran cold. These...these monsters could not find her children. She’d fight them all off first, bare-handed if she had to.

The noise seemed to have been lost in the chaos, though, and while Mayfeld gave the closed berth door an odd look, he turned to the business of getting into whatever ship they’d docked on to.

She felt a hand rest on her back as the Mandalorian stood from where he’d fallen next to her and she relaxed the smallest bit. She wasn’t alone, and she wasn’t leaving the kids. They just had to finish the job and they’d have the ship back to themselves.

The crew were soon dropping out of sight, and when Zero stayed up in the cockpit, Omera risked knocking on the berth door. “Are you alright in there?” she whispered.

There was a bit of shuffling, then a tense, “Yeah, we’re okay.”

Omera sighed. “We’ll be okay, sweetheart. We just have to wait now, okay?”

A pause, then, “How long?”

“I don’t know. Maybe an hour or so. Why don’t you keep listening to your books, alright?”

There was a sniff. “Mom, I...I want to go home.”

Oh. Omera leaned her forehead against the door. “I know, sweetie. We...we’ll talk later, okay? Now’s not a good time. There’s still someone in the cockpit.”

There was no response, and Omera closed her eyes. Home? Where was home? They’d left the village behind. Omera’s family was all dead. Home...this ship was their home. They’d let those people into their home, and Omera would count it a blessing if she never saw their faces ever again.

Unwilling to leave the children alone, even to check on what Zero was doing, she paced around. Was it worth getting out the new belt she was working on, just for something to do? Ran had said the job would take an hour or two, but she wasn’t sure if that meant the job itself or with travel time included. She needed the distraction, though. Her hands were shaking, and she didn’t know if it was from fear or anger or both.

As she brought out her next project, her mind wandered. The others might come back in bad shape, for whatever reason, and she resolved to have at least the very basics of first aid available. Just if they were in danger of bleeding out, though. She put down her work and started to sort through their things. It didn’t take long to gather some supplies, and then she was back to the belt.

Zero came down the ladder after a while. He looked slowly around the small space before saying, “I’ve lost contact with the team. Standard procedure is to wait at least an hour before leaving unless the situation is too dangerous.”

Her breath caught as she stared at the droid. Leave? Leave?

“If they have not returned in that time frame, or if we are in danger, I will come down assist with detaching from the ship.” He then turned and went up the ladder.

No. No, Omera would not let that happen. She’d shoot the droid, climb down to the other ship, and scour the place herself before she left the Mandalorian behind.

The shaking in her hands was even worse now, and she put the project aside and tried to breathe deeply and calmly.

Later, much later, although that might have just been her perception of time, the Mandalorian called up to her from below the docking port. Something in her chest eased and she stood with a sigh of relief.

Omera helped the Mandalorian get a new Twi’lek man up the ladder and safely secured him. The Mandalorian went up to the cockpit, and after a few minutes, they were off again.

She wondered what terrible thing had happened that most of the crew hadn’t made it out of this so-called “easy job.” It wasn’t hard not to dwell on it, though, and she instead kept an eye on their captive. He, thankfully, was not talkative.

They were soon back to the station, and Omera watched Zero escort the imprisoned man down to where Ran was waiting. To her surprise, the two men hugged. So...not a prisoner? Bounty hunting was even more baffling than she’d thought.

“No questions asked, right?” the Mandalorian said in response to Ran’s query about the rest of the crew. The man shrugged and tossed them a pouch of credits. The Mandalorian didn’t even count the credits, but rather hurried to pull up the ramp and close the exit.

“Get ready to jump as soon as we clear the station,” he said, tossing the bag of credits to the side before hurrying up to the cockpit. Startled, stood staring for a moment after him. Surely they weren’t in too much danger now that the job was over?

Regardless, the kids were safe to come out now, and she opened the berth door to see a silently crying Winta cuddling a sleeping little boy. With a heavy heart, she helped them out, then wrapped them in a blanket and had them sit with her on the bedrolla spread on the floor. Winta kept crying, soundless, and Omera hated this even more than she’d hated having that…crew on the ship.

The Mandalorian rejoined them after she felt the ship jolt into hyperspace, lowering himself to the floor with an almost inaudible grunt of pain. He just looked at the children for a moment before looking down at his hands

“Yeah,” he said, sounding weary in a way she hadn’t heard from him before, “that was a bad idea.”

[theangriestpea]

The Killing Type | Two

Summary: Just when Lavender thought things were going great with Sweet Pea, a new girl comes back to turn to turn their entire relationship upside down. Now they have to navigate a world of drug dealers, rival gangs, and co-parenting. Sequel to Mercy Killing. <ao3> <masterlist>

Rating: Mature // Explicit

Pairings: Sweet Pea x OC // eventual Jughead Jones x OC

Warnings: Mild smut

Word Count: 5k+

A/N: I wish I had had the energy to post this last night but I didn't. Sooo here it is! A bit of soft pea in this one ;) I've been watching a lot of Ghost Adventures lately so I totally blame the inspo for the first half of this chapter on that.

Chapter Two: Heart on a String

As the days passed, it was slowly becoming easier and easier to avoid Sweet Pea. To be fair, a lot of his time was now spent in his trailer with his new family and Lavender spent probably too much of her time casually drinking and hanging out with Fangs and Toni.

Currently, Toni was working on her hair. She had let her roots grow out a bit too much for her liking. Sweet Pea had made some comment about how he’d like to see her natural hair color again so she hadn’t been keeping up with her touch ups like she had previously. Of course now, that was totally out of the window and Toni was more than happy to return to being her hairdresser.

“Why don’t you just try being friends with him. He asks about you all the time.” Toni asked, as she finished sectioning off her long hair. “Ghost Adventures comes on tonight and I know that was your favorite thing to watch together.”

Lav was posting snaps of Toni doing her hair and sending them to a group chat that contained Fangs, Toni, Sweet Pea, and Cheryl. She couldn’t help but notice that a certain ex was the first to view them.

She had been wanting to ask him to come hang out with her for the past couple days. It had been less than a full week, so naturally there would still be some awkwardness. “I guess it’s worth a try.” Lav mumbled. “What should I get him for this birthday next week?”

Toni made a face that Lavender couldn’t see, “what about the present we worked on together? We worked hard on those pictures. Honestly I think they’re some of my best work. I might just get into doing boudoir shoots from now on.”

“I think that would be highly inappropriate.” Lav replied. Two weeks ago she had asked Toni to take some photos of her in a new set of lingerie in hopes to give the pictures to her boyfriend for his seventeenth birthday. She had put heavy makeup on all of her scars, making them nearly nonexistent. “We’re not dating anymore, Toni. I’ll just get him something else.”

“I don’t understand why you just won’t take him back. Lily already said she was refusing to date him again after what he did.” Toni said as she began to apply the dye skillfully. “So what’s stopping you?”

Lavender chewed on the inside of her cheek nervously. “I want to work on myself first. He deserves to be with someone that’s not a broken mess.”

Toni was frowning, not liking the way her friend was talking about herself. “So...maybe after some more treatment you’ll reconsider?” She asked hesitantly. She fully planned on sending this new bit of info to Sweet Pea as soon as she got the chance. He had been driving himself crazy trying to figure out if his ex was mad at him for something Lily said or if they’re relationship was over for good. He didn’t like not knowing.

“Of course.” Lavender said, her mood lifting a bit. “I don’t think I should be dating anyone right now, but as soon as I’m ready to again then he’ll be the first I ask out. I care about him a lot, Toni...and I hate that I’m having to do this but I think it’s in both of our best interests. Plus he had a child he needs to help take care of. I don’t want to take him away from her.”

“I’m sure he can manage both.” Toni replied, “But can I ask what brought this on? Why did you decide to do this all of a sudden when it wasn’t an issue before?”

Lav had hoped that Toni wouldn’t ask her this, and she knew Toni could tell if she was lying. Lav wasn’t very good at it in the first place. “Lily made a comment that I was using Sweet Pea to fix myself and that it wasn’t fair to put that on him.”

Toni couldn’t help but let out a sigh of disappointment. “So this is over something Lily said…”

“Yes, what is that supposed to mean?” Lav asked, her tone erring on the side of accusatory.

“Just that she doesn’t even know you, Lavie. She was probably saying that to try and protect Sweet Pea because they were best friends growing up. She doesn’t want to see him being used, but you’re not doing that. You’re getting professional help. Sweet Pea helped you stick to healthy coping and was just a good boyfriend. I mean, sure you had your fights but they were never that serious. And it’s not like you haven’t been working on yourself at all….” Her voice trailed off, unsure of what else she could say to maybe convince her to change her mind.

However, Lavender wasn’t about to be persuaded by her. “I know that, Toni. I want to prove it to her. I want her to see that I’m not some viper trying to steal him. And I really do think he needs to spend time with Daisy. He’s missed out on so much already.”

“Alright, alright,” Toni said, totally defeated. “Can you at least tell him all of this? He feels like a piece of shit because you won’t talk to him.”

Lav wanted to nod her head, but couldn’t unless she wanted to risk Toni messing up. “I’ll have him come over tonight. We can talk about it then.”

Later that night, after the sun had gone down, Lav waited for Sweet Pea to arrive. She had made them popcorn and had a mix of soda and beer, whichever he wanted to drink, as well as various candy. She admitted to herself that she went probably a little too far in trying to make this not weird, and ended up totally overdoing it. Still she was excited to be spending time with him again, even if it was strictly platonic.

He arrived a few minutes after she had finished putting everything out. She opened the door for him and paused when she saw a certain little girl in his arms. Sweet Pea had an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry, Lily ditched me last minute and I couldn’t just leave her. She’s asleep though...I don’t think she’ll wake up.”

Daisy was indeed fast asleep in his arms, drooling all over his shirt. She was too cute to make Lavender upset. “It’s fine, Sweet Pea.” She said, her voice showing him that she wasn’t angry. “She can sleep on my bed if you want.”

Sweet Pea let out a sigh of relief as he walked inside. He took the sleeping baby into the bedroom and laid her down on the part of the bed that was against the wall. He put up a few pillows to stop her from possibly rolling off the other side just in case. Then he set her diaper bag down and rejoined his friend in the living room.

“If I had known you were going to wear your pajamas, then I would have to.” He said, his voice teasing her as he sat down. His eyes swept over all of the things she had bought. “Wow, what’s all this for?”

She blushed, sitting down next to him and crossing her legs. “I just thought I’d make a night of it. As...an apology for isolating and ignoring you when we said we’d try being friends.”

Sweet Pea let out a small uncomfortable sigh. All Toni would tell him was that she didn’t hate him and that she’d explain herself tonight about not getting back into a relationship with him. “Just friends?” He asked, his voice daring to sound hopeful of something more than just friends .

“Pea,” Lav said as gently as she possibly could. “I need to work on myself a little bit first. Lily said-” She stopped herself, “Lily accused me of using you to get better and that didn’t still well with me, okay? I want to prove to her that that’s not what I’m doing. I care about you a lot. More than any other guy I’ve ever been with. It has nothing to do with anything that you’ve done….And..I think you should focus on being a dad, right now. To make up for lost time.”

His face fell entirely. It still felt like a rejection, no matter how hard she tried to not make it sound that way. She quickly grabbed the sides of his face. “Look at me,” She mumbled softly, “I’m not going to make you wait for me. If you want to be with someone else…” Her eyes darted away from his before closing. She took a deep breath, “I’ll understand. Just...when the time comes...can we try again? I want to be with you, Pea, I do. It’s not fair for you to have to carry around all my baggage.”

Sweet Pea sighed again, gently grabbing her wrists and pulling her hands off of him. “Okay.” He said quietly, “We can do that. Just stop avoiding me.”

Lavender smiled sweetly at him, “I will. Just stop moping! I’ll even help you with Daisy if you ever need a babysitter. She’s cute.”

He cracked a rare smile as he put his arm up across the back of the couch. “So, is tonight a rerun or a new episode?”

“I think it’s a new one and then reruns.” Lav said as she cut on the TV and turned it to the right channel. “Do you promise you’ll come over and watch this with me every week?” She asked, a bit timidly.

“Yea, your commentary is cute.” He said, shrugging nonchalantly as she shook her head at him. “And you always have the best snacks. Is that a two pound bag of Sour Patch Kids? Where did you even find that?”

Lav laughed as he reached over to tear into the bag. “I’m the queen of sweets, Pea. I have my ways. They’re all for you anyway.”

He head snapped to her, “are you trying to make me fat, Rhodes? It’s two pounds of Sour Patch Kids but it’ll make me put on like twenty.”

She tried to control her giggles, “Just work it out or something. Whatever you do after a night of eating nothing but pizza and drinking beer. Pretty sure you put down more than two pounds of either of those.”

He scoffed at her, “rude.” He said back as Zak Baggins, the host of Ghost Adventures came on the screen. “There’s your boyfriend.”

Lav snorted back another laugh, “Please. I would never date a man with so many phobias.”

A few minutes into the episode Lav and Sweet Pea were silent. “This...this is about aliens? What the fuck?” Lav mumbled to herself, unsure what kind of weird one-off episode this was. “What about ghosts?”

“Aliens are cool.” Sweet Pea said coolly. “I’m glad they’re doing something other than ghosts for once.”

“The show is literally called Ghost Adventures, Pea. This is stupid.” Lav said, pouting now.

He rolled his eyes at her. “I bet it’s better than that stupid doll episode you love so much.”

“Stop disrespecting Harold, Sweet Pea. Or I’ll find him and bring him to you.” She hissed at him playfully, knowing he had an acute fear of dolls. He had drunkenly confessed how much they creeped him out. Harold had been a cursed doll in the episode he was talking about, the episode that was indeed her favorite.

Sweet Pea scoffed, pretending to not be at all afraid of such a threat even if the mere thought of having a possessed doll anywhere near him made him wildly uneasy. They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched, making commentary back and forth when something ridiculous happened, and making jokes at the investigators' expense. Things felt back to normal almost, the only difference was that he wasn’t touching her. Usually he had an arm wrapped around her waist or a hand on her thigh. It was strange to not be able to show any kind of affection all of a sudden. Still, being here with her was better than nothing.

As the next episode came on, he noticed Lavender slouching more and more, her comments becoming less frequent. He knew the tell-tale signs of sleep when he saw them. And while he knew he should stop her from falling asleep on the couch, he couldn’t bring his heart to do it. Instead he watched as she eventually leaned against his side, breathing softly with her eyes shut.

Sweet Pea let out a held breath, not knowing what he should do. He enjoyed the familiar feeling of her body against his, and he really didn’t want it to end anytime soon. He was definitely going to be having a talk with Lily later about the thoughts she seemed to have put in Lavender’s head. He couldn’t believe she wouldn’t renew their relationship because of something his ex said. His anger kept him from sleeping, despite how exhausted he was.

After all, how hard could it be to be a dad and a boyfriend? It shouldn’t be that difficult…

Eventually, Sweet Pea did fall asleep on the couch with Lav still laying soundly against him. Much later in the night, Lav awoke to the sound of a child crying. She frowned as she sat up, realizing that her and Sweet Pea had fallen asleep together. He was snoring heavily due to the position he was in and she couldn’t help but laugh lightly to herself.

She had figured she would let him rest a little more. He had looked so exhausted earlier when he first walked into her trailer with the little girl. She stood and went into her bedroom, cutting the light on to see Daisy crying on her bed. Lav picked her up, shushing her gently as she rocked her. “Did you have a bad dream?” She asked in a whisper.

Daisy looked up at her, in awe of her purple hair. “I have bad dreams too, Daze.” Lavender said, smiling softly. “They’re really scary sometimes. But it’s okay.”

She babbled back at Lavender, unable to form more than a few syllables. The only words Lav could understand were “Dada” and “Mama”.

“Daddy is sleeping right now.” Lavender replied, carrying her out into the living room to see him. “See?”

She was about to set Daisy down on the couch when Sweet Pea’s phone began to ring, the high pitched noise waking him up finally. He blinked sleepily, seeing the two girls in front of him. “Hey, what’s…” Then he realized his phone was what woke him up. He answered and Lav noticed his entire demeanor change.

“I’m at Shanna’s house.” He said gruffly and Lav could hear that someone was yelling at him through the speaker. “Daisy is fine. If you didn’t want her to leave my trailer then you shouldn’t have left her with me. I had plans.”

Lav began to feel awkward as a shouting match soon began. Daisy began to whimper at her father shouting, so Lav took her back into her bedroom. “I know how hard it is to have parents that fight.” She mumbled. “It’s awful…”

About five minutes later, Sweet Pea came into the room, his face red with anger. “I have to take her home.” He said. And while Lavender knew he wasn’t mad at her, the rage in his tone still made her flinch. He took Daisy from her arms and she instantly cuddled up to him. His enraged facial expression melted into a more somber one. Her affection was effectively dousing the flames.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked, not knowing what her plans were. “If I’m allowed to leave the house,” he added spitefully.

Lavender forced a smile. “Sure. We can do our homework together if you want.”

He groaned, obviously not liking the thought of doing schoolwork. “Fine. Bye, Rhodes.”

“Bye, Pea…” And like that he was gone again and she couldn’t stop the feeling of pain blossoming in her chest as she tried to go back to sleep.

The following week, Lavender and Sweet Pea spent plenty of platonic time together. Usually they weren’t alone, Fangs, Toni, Jughead, or occasionally Lily joining them, however it was still nice to still be able to have some kind of functioning relationship.

That brings us to today, Sweet Pea’s birthday, and while he insisted that no one celebrate it...Lavender may or may not have thrown him a surprise party at the Whyte Wyrm. She had ultimately decided to give him the photos that Toni had taken, because she didn’t want her time and effort to just go to waste. Plus, they’d be together again eventually right?

Fangs and Toni had helped her put up the last of the decorations. “Your aunt really made this cake?” Fangs asked, looking over the cake that was shaped and decorated to look like the Southside Serpent emblem. “This is amazing!”

Lavender grinned, “isn’t it? She gave me a great discount too. I guess she’s not so bad for a Northsider, huh?” Fangs just chuckled, shaking his head as he checked his phone.

“They’ll be here in a few minutes, everyone hide!” He ordered and everyone went to their places to surprise Sweet Pea when he got there. Of course, Lily would be with him. Mrs. Fogarty had happily agreed to watch Daisy for the night.

Soon enough, the two young serpents were walking into the bar while arguing with one another. Sweet Pea stopped and looked around at the decor, “What...Oh fuck-”

“Happy Birthday!” Everyone shouted as they jumped from their hiding places, Fangs poped a confetti bomb in Sweet Pea’s face just to annoy him. Sweet Pea didn’t look at all pleased. He really hadn’t wanted a birthday party.

Lav bounded up to him, a grin on her face. “I told you not to do anything…” He hissed at her and she just shrugged in response before grabbing his hand to lead him to the cake.

Sweet Pea stopped his grumbling when he saw it, “This is for me?” He asked, his voice nearly becoming a whisper. “Why?”

“To be fair, I planned all of this before we broke up.” Lav said, shrugging. “I didn’t want it all to go to waste! I know you never really had an actual birthday party so I wanted to throw you one so you could see how fun they are!”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Rhodes...you’re an idiot sometimes.” He grumbled at her and she just smiled at his griping. She knew his protests were not fully genuine. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he had always wanted someone to throw him a special get together. It took seventeen years but the wait was certainly worth it.

His eyes tore from the cake when he felt something press into his chest, he looked down to see a very small present being shoved into him. He glanced at Lav with a confused look, still was still smiling at him. “Open it, dummy.” She said with a small laugh.

Sweet Pea took the gift and unwrapped it, finding a USB drive inside. “What the hell is this?” He asked, looking it over.

“A jump drive, duh.” She said, pulling out her phone and pressing send on a message she had pre-set to send him. “Now look at your phone.”

He took out his phone and checked the text from her, his eyes widening at the images attached. “What-”

“I had these made before everything happened.” Lav said, sounding sheepish now. “And I didn’t want them to just sit on my laptop unappreciated. I thought...you know, it’d be something nice to hold onto for now. The original files are on the flash drive. Just try not to let Fangs see them. He’s been pestering me for weeks to get a peek.”

He couldn’t take his eyes off of the pictures. He hadn’t seen her in lingerie since her serpent dance. Obviously this was much different as he was the only one who could see this. “Who took them?” He asked, his voice raising slightly at the thought of another guy seeing her in this state of undress. “I swear to god if Jones-”

“Relax, Toni took them.” Lav said, rolling her eyes. “Calm down. You’re the only boy that gets to see me naked.” She froze before quickly back tracking, “I mean...you know what I meant.” She huffed at herself with annoyance.

“Rhodes.” Sweet Pea said, a little more firmly, “You can’t just give me something like this and not expect me to not want to... take care of it. ” He chose his words carefully in hopes that he wouldn’t offend her somehow. This whole friendship thing with her was brand new territory.

Lav blinked at him, not understanding at first until he shifted his weight uncomfortably in a somewhat awkward way. She had noticed before that he only did that when he was aroused and was trying to hide it.

“Sweet Pea, did my nudes give you a hard-on?” She asked in a sickly sweet voice, blinking up at him as if she were innocent. “I had no idea my body had such an effect on you.”

“You’re such a fucking tease.” He hissed at her, “If you don’t take care of this, then I’ll have to find someone that will.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “You’re such an asshole. Did you think I’d wind you up and not let you come down? It’ll be like July, no strings attached. Just friends with benefits.”

He pursed his lips, “I don’t see how that’s any different than just dating…”

“If you don’t want to fuck me, Sweet Pea, then you can go fuck someone else. Maybe Lily wants to give you some birthday fun instead.” She said bitterly, making him groan with annoyance.

“Just go to the storeroom. I’ll be there in ten minutes….I need a condom.” He grumbled to himself.

Lav rolled her eyes, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I came prepared, Pea. I already have one, but maybe you should wait to stir up less suspicion.” She turned and mingled through the crowd before disappearing behind the bar and into their favorite closet.

Sweet Pea couldn’t help but look through the pictures again, his pants starting to feel tighter. He cursed under his breath at her. Deep down he knew he couldn’t just do a physical relationship. Sure, with a majority of girls that was all he wanted. Lavender was different though. But still, he couldn’t turn her down. It would have been impossible for him to not partake in a round of birthday sex.

He waited ten minutes, keeping time on his phone. A few people had told him Happy Birthday and he shrugged them off the best he could. He really didn’t care for his birthday all that much, but he did appreciate Lav trying to make it special. Finally he made his way to the back room where they always seemed to end up.

He opened the door, finding Lavender already in her underwear, sitting on a small cot that was against the back wall. His brow quirked into a curious expression. “Someone’s eager.”

She couldn’t help but smirk at him, “It’s been over a week. I’m tired of having to do it myself.”

He shrugged off his leather jacket. “Is that so? Maybe you should have taken pictures of you doing that too.” He said, joking as he sat down next to her.

Lavender slipped into his lap, straddling him while she put her hands on his face. She kissed him passionately, unable to hold herself back any longer. She had missed him so much, that she almost thought about calling off their little break. She had to keep reminding herself that she had something to prove to Lily.

Sweet Pea kissed her back, his hands finding familiarity in the feeling of her hips in his grasp. She began to grind slowly, obviously not wanting to ease into things. He obliged her by kissing down her neck, nipping at her skin and sucking hickies into it. His hands slipped down to her ass, squeezing handfuls of flesh between his fingers.

She undressed him as quickly as he’d let her which was not quick enough. As she yanked his boxers down, she looked up at him from her position between his legs. “Can I have a taste?” She asked, knowing he wouldn’t turn her down.

Sweet Pea swallowed thickly before nodding. Lav took his cock in her hand and stroked it before sliding it into her mouth. He put a hand on the back of her head to force it down further, making her nearly choke.

Lav bobbed her head as she sucked and licked at him, earning herself small pleased moans from his throat. After only a few minutes he pulled her up by her hair. She pouted at him, wondering why he stopped her. “You’re going to ruin your makeup if you keep at it.” He said, a little out of breath.

She grinned at him before shaking her head when he released her hair. “This lipstick is blow job proof, Pea. My makeup would have been fine, thanks for the concern though. Lay back.”

He made a face at her, “I don’t like girls on top.”

“Well tough, I want to be on top, so lay back.” She said in a bratty tone. His eyes narrowed before he reluctantly laid back on the cot, his lower legs hanging off.

Lavender stood and took off her underwear. She grabbed the condom she had brought and tore open the gold foil package before rolling it onto his penis. “You say you don’t like it, but have you ever tried it?” She asked, knowing the answer already. Sweet Pea only grunted in response and she knew that was a no.

She straddled him once more, lowering herself down as he held his dick in place for her. He entered her as she slowly descended until their hips touched.

He had to admit, this was a nice angle even if he did feel less in control. Lav let out a breathy sigh as she began to move her hips, finding that perfect position that had him hitting her g-spot in the most amazing way.

Sweet Pea watched her facial expressions as she fucked him, entranced by them completely. She put her hands on his chest for support, while his own gravitated towards her hips again. She was moving much too slow for his liking. Using his grip on her he started to move them faster due to his impatience.

Lav let out a small mewl of delight, throwing her head back slightly as she allowed him to move her hips for her. She bucked desperately wanting more.

He pulled her down to hold her against his chest while he thrust upward, taking total control of the situation after he figured she had had enough fun. His hips slammed up against hers at a fast pace, groaning as he felt her teeth on the base of his neck right before his shoulder. “Fuck,” He gasped lightly.

“Oh god, Pea,” Lav moaned as he increased his speed, “right there, oh fuck .” Her whines made him only that more into it. If he could have flipped over and fucked her harder than he would, unfortunately that just wasn’t possible as there wasn’t enough room.

He reached up and pulled her hair, tangling it between his fingers. Her lips parted from his neck as her head was wrenched backwards. “Did you think I’d let you have control, baby girl?” He asked darkly as her eyes rolled back from the pleasure she was feeling, her climax building.

“No,” She gasped back before moaning a little too loudly. Luckily there was loud music playing out in the main part of the bar. “I’m gonna cum, Pea, I’m so fucking close.”

Sweet Pea roughly grabbed onto her ass to hold her in place as he continued to ram into her until she suddenly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle the scream that came out. Her inner muscles fluttered around him, squeezing his cock so much that he came almost immediately after.

Lav rested her head on his chest as she panted. “Let’s get cleaned up, we have cake to eat.” She said between breaths. She sat up and fixed her hair before standing up shakily, looking around for the rest of her clothes.

He sat up, taking the condom off and tying it off so that his semen wouldn’t come out. He watched her dress, still trying to regain his breath. “Wow, just come and go then.” He said with a hint of annoyance.

She turned and gave him a confused look, “I’m not going anywhere without you, dummy. Come on. Don’t you want to eat cake?”

“I swear, you’re worse than Jones when it comes to food.” He grumbled as he stood up and started to get dressed. Despite having just had sex, he found himself feeling incredibly empty. Maybe it was having her so close only for her to rip away from him when they were done. Normally they laid together for a while afterwards until he usually fell asleep. It hurt him more than he thought it would for her to act like sex with him was nothing but a physical activity. Now he knew what all of his one night stands felt like when he left immediately after they had finished.

Lav just shrugged at his insult, letting it roll off her. “Meet me by the cake when you’re ready. My aunt is an amazing baker, you’re going to love it.” She said with a bright smile before leaving, shutting the door behind her.

He sat in silence for what felt like forever, staring at the door where she had walked out. This shouldn’t hurt this much, he thought to himself. It was almost the same level of pain when Lily left a year ago. She was there but she wasn’t at the same time and it was slowly tearing him apart. He stood and started to dress slowly, taking in a deep breath to squash his emotions deep down inside of himself. Then, he opened the door and went to join the others...

Tag List: @the-gargoyle-queen​, @alexa-playafricabytoto​ If you want to continue to be tagged in the sequel, just let me know!

Enjoy my work? Like, Reblog, Follow, or Leave a Tip!

[callunavulgari]

TOP 25 FICS OF 2019

1. these roads will take you into your own country by @notbecauseofvictories | American Gods | Laura Moon/Mad Sweeney | WIP | 33k

Here’s a joke for you: a Muslim, a zombie, and a leprechaun walk into a bar in Misery, Indiana. No one stares, because no one in the puckered, shitty asshole of Misery, Indiana gives a fuck. The Colts are playing.

Heather Says: So. It’s funny that another of @notbecauseofvictories‘s stories is at the top of my list again this year. Keep in mind this list is sorted by when the fic was read rather than favorites (because that would get real complicated real quick). Clearly there must be something about January. There’s just something about the writing that is easy to slip into, be it a Star Wars fic or a Labyrinth fic or even a fic about Johnny and the Devil. This was lovely and I can’t wait until it’s finished.

2. eighteen wheels on an uphill climb by @honkforhankcon | Detroit: Become Human | Hank/Connor | 91k

Hank is going to die. He’s going to die right here in Kentucky, 53 years old, halfway to broke, and tragically sober. Survived only by a nine-year-old St. Bernard and the 31-year-old twink who delivered the fatal blow.

Heather Says: I don’t think that this is the first DBH fic that I sought out after beating the game, but it is the first that I loved enough to make it to this list. I didn’t think that I would go for a modern au for this fandom, certainly not a modern au wihere Hank is a truck driver and Connor is a sex worker (albeit briefly?) but here I am.

3. Fuck pride (pride only hurts, it never helps) by ImogenGotDrunk | Detroit: Become Human | RK900/Gavin Reed | 41k

After the android uprising, Connor becomes a permanent fixture in the DPD. That’s fine. Gavin can accept that. The dipshit’s more human than he used to be, and a decent detective to boot. Gavin can deal with him being around. What Gavin cannot deal with is Connor’s replica; two inches taller, blue-eyed, and with a mouth that Gavin doesn’t know whether to punch or take between his teeth. The RK900 model has been assigned as his partner for the foreseeable future.

Heather Says: I also never thought that I’d like a fic with Gavin in it. But I got curious about all the Reed900, and well, this fic really won me over. The writing is fantastic, and it softens Gavin while still keeping him believable. Also, well, I like the enemies to lovers thing.

4. Almost Cool by @blacktofade | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 30k

While filming the Yuma Territorial Prison episode, Shane gets bitten by what he thinks is a bat. Spoiler alert: it's not.

Heather Says: This is actually the first thing that I read for this fandom. In fact, this is the fic that got me into Buzzfeed Unsolved in the first place. I’d seen a lot of art and gifs and fics pass my way, but I was only ever slightly interested in what I saw until this fic came through my inbox and piqued my curiosity. 

5. Pride by @astolat | Game of Thrones | Jaime/Brienne/Cersei | 22k

Jaime didn’t understand why Cersei suddenly insisted on trimming his hair and shaving his beard, but he also didn’t care to fight her on it, even though he’d just as soon have kept the beard: it was bitterly cold in the small tower room with its arrow-slits. 

Heather Says: Wowza. This fic was intense. I’ve always loved Jaime and Brienne. I’ve loved them since the second book, which was read at least a few years before I started loving them in the show. Adding Cersei to their dynamic would have probably been almost impossible to pull off if it was anyone else, but @astolat lives to surpass my expectations.

6. Skin and Scales by Ernmark | The Penumbra Podcast | Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla | 18k

The man glares, and this time, Damien is certain it isn’t a trick of the light: those eyes are violet as amethyst. He wears disdain like a second skin–- or, perhaps, like the scales that he is missing. “Lord Arum?”

Heather Says: I was one of those people who skipped through all of the Second Citadel episodes during my first listen through of Penumbra. The stories were good, but the pull of Juno was too great. A couple months after I finished, I went back and listened to everything I didn’t. And let me tell you. Lizard monster. Honorable knight. Bookish girlfriend. Poly. It hit every single button I had and then some. This fic really hit the spot when I ran out of story.

7. someone you like by caela | She-Ra | Adora/Catra | 5k

catwithabat u think ur so hipster but u just look like a lesbian 27m she_ra @catwithabat bc… i’m a lesbian. lmao 5m

Heather Says: Noooot usually a big fan of high school fics. Namely because I’m not in high school anymore and well, after you read so many in your teenage years they sort of lose their luster. This one was phenomenal enough to change my mind.

8. Sands of Time by @tirsynni | Legend of Zelda | Ganondorf/Link | WIP | 98k

Link awakens in the desert with no idea how he got there, to encounter his worst enemy...except it was the King of the Gerudo, not the King of Evil, he faced.

Heather Says: I have seen a lot of really good Link/Ganondorf art over the years, but never really stumbled across a fic that didn’t have judicious amount of non-con involved. But the Breath of the Wild 2 trailer happened, and everybody started drawing really pretty art, so I went looking. And lo and behold, @tirsynni saved the day with this gorgeous time travel/fix-it fic. 

9. killed with kindness by veterization | Persona 5 | Akechi/Akira | 52k

Goro can't quite figure out why so many people keep acting like they're his friend. (Or: the one where the Phantom Thieves decide to know thy enemy, befriend thy enemy, love thy enemy, crush on thy enemy).

Heather Says: I’ve read a couple of veterization’s fics over the years, and to date they have never disappointed me. They published this in June, and I think I clicked on it mostly because I was bored and hadn’t read any good P5 fic yet. This was basically just what the doctor ordered, and I was really happy to find something where Akechi’s story went ever so slightly different.

10. paper thin by @ebonybow | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k

Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

Heather Says: So I went into this one knowing very little about how Sara fit into things. I didn’t know she was Shane’s girlfriend. I’d never even seen her, but I clicked because I like poly and I trust the author. I was 100% not disappointed. There’s also another fic with a very similar dynamic here, which is also aces.

11. damn.nation, now available on itunes by @kaikamahine | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 11k

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Heather Says: Elizabeth may have only written one fic this year, but she made it a damn good one. I’ve always loved her OCs especially, so I was pretty tickled that this is 10k+ of outsider pov. Also, demons! Demons are great! This demon is great! I want like 9 seasons and a movie about Amphora, just saying.

12. The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Jon/Sansa/Daenarys | 60k

When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Heather Says: What do you mean season 8 didn’t exist and the show totally ended with a three way relationship between the two most powerful women in Westeros and Jon Snow? Never been a big fan of Jon/Sansa before this, but this is another of those writers that I would literally trust if they wrote a fic about a fork and a spoon.

13. never tell me the odds by @wildehacked | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 9k

“I tried Star Wars," he says, adjusting the phone under his neck, "and it was way underwhelming.”

A shaky breath from her end. “Well, where did you start?”

Heather Says: I don’t remember which of @wildehacked‘s fandoms I started reading first. Most recently it’s been The Magnus Archives (more on this later). The point is, they’d written Wolf 359 fic and it had Hera and Eiffel and it was literally everything that I’ve been looking for since the series ended.

14. Find Me Somebody by raiining | Good Omens | Warlock/Adam Young | 11k

“You left me,” he said. “You both left me, for him. And I can’t even blame you, because I’d have left me for him too.”

Heather Says: There was an Art. The art was lovely. So I went looking, because that’s what I do when faced with beautiful art depicting a rare pairing. And I found the holy grail. Like, possibly my favorite Good Omens fic? Ever? 

15. flirting with fire by @brawlite | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | WIP | 7k

Steve's a cop, Billy's a firefighter. It's not a grudge, it's just a regular old small town rivalry.

Heather Says: Okay so brawlite has written a lot of great stuff this year (more on that later), but I read this in bed at the beach house this August while I was reeling from both a horrible sunburn and like seven hours of mild to moderate day-drinking while everyone else was still throwing back shots right outside my bedroom door. Jaws was playing on the tv and I wasn’t even paying attention to it, because THIS. Long story short, I’ve been thirsty for more ever since.

16. gold, when you find me by mmtion | The Flash | Iris/Barry | 53k

It's not that Iris hates The Flash, per say - more that she hates writing about The Streak in a weekly, pun-heavy comic based on The Flash.

Heather Says: I never would have thought that a canon pairing would make it to my Top 25 list, but here we are. I like Iris/Barry a lot better when they don’t grow up together and spend a lot of time playing the Superman game, apparently. Also, this was really well-written, and sexual tension has never been something I’ve felt from Barry and Iris, but I felt it in this fic. Just. Damn.

17. never gets old by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger| Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 78k

Falling in love with a cam boy named KingSteve isn't the smartest thing Billy Hargrove has ever done, nor is it the most healthy -- but the good choice is rarely ever the fun choice, and Billy is all about living life fast and loose.

Heather Says: Told you I’d come back to it. brawlite and toastranger are a fantastic team. last year was cherry pie and under the covers, this year it’s camboys and cop/firefighter dynamics. Also, I have a really strange fascination with fics where a character has an instragram. It’s really, incredibly strange. Also also, every time I see this fic title I get that one Discovery Channel song stuck in my head. And no, it probably isn’t the one you’re thinking.

18. ways to save the world by @wildehacked | The Magnus Archives | Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims | 19k

“I left you,” Martin says softly.

Heather Says: And we’re back at wildehacked too! The Magnus Archives was a thing that happened to me. This is I think the first fic I read for it while listening, and it was so very close to what we got in canon. I think when it comes down to it though, I still prefer this fic, even if the ending of this season was pretty fantastic.

19. The Denial Twist by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 35k

“This is kind of surreal,” Shane says, taking a sip of his tea. It’s piping hot and delicious, except it tastes like hot chocolate and not like tea at all. “Sort of—Wonka-esque, right? Or Alice in Wonderland.”

Heather Says: While the vampire one is my favorite both because it is excellent and because it was my first, this one was bizarre and sexy and also I read it like only a month or so ago! The dancing was my favorite part, but having dreams to work with made this story fantastically interesting and I loved every second of it.

20. silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 4k

The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. There were a number of them, all the same shade, following one after the other around her left wrist. They were pale as old scars, though they felt no different from the rest of her skin, and her mother claimed that Miryem had been born with them.

Heather Says: I really like soulmate aus. There’s so many different ways to twist them and the way they can sometimes change the dynamic entirely and other times not change them at all is just fascinating. I’ve been hoping there would be more Spinning Silver content on ao3 and running into this while I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for yuletide was a real treat.

21. you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k

Costis has a particularly enlightening evening. (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

Heather Says: I accidentally re-read the King of Attolia and it made me consider ships I had perhaps not previously considered. This was really lovely and just steamy enough.

22. something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 21k

It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Heather Says: I want to only type the words AGONIZED NOISES to describe this fic because that’s basically my headspace when I get 21k of a shiny new ot3, but I mean. Really. This is super good and maybe my favorite yet? Why didn’t I start reading this fandom when I first read the books?

23. Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k

The dragon chooses, Mark knows that as well as any boy born in a weyr. He'd never considered what that would mean if the dragon picked someone you hated. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

Heather Says: This should actually be somewhere back in March, but I apparently closed out of the tab at some point. I never really got into Pern much. I have the first three books, but got most of the way through the first one a long time ago and then never picked it back up. I didn’t think I would like this, mostly because of the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the books, but was surprised to find that I absolutely loved it.

24. Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | Lila/Kell/Holland | 9k

Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

Heather Says: I love the new things I’ve discovered during my yuletide trompings. I don’t think I ever actually considered this pairing when I first read the books, but I am just so enamored with the idea of the three of them together. Like, why did I not realize that potential back then? This was lovely, and I loved it, and I want so much more out of this pairing than what ao3 has to offer me.

25. Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Gen & Costis | 13k

Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

Heather Says: Technically this shouldn’t be on here because I only read it today, but it was really wonderful and so canon typical. Gen and Costis were perfect in it, Irene was perfect in it. Everyone was perfect and nothing hurts.

[bensakindofmagic]

Chapter Seven

Warnings: some sex (but probs doesn’t count as smut, I dunno)

w/c: 3k

Chapter Seven

“Here she is. Finally,” came Joe’s snarky remark as you burst into the makeup trailer. 

“Oh please, I’m only 15 minutes late. And anyway, I brought coffee, you ungrateful little shit,” you rebuffed with a laugh, and seemed to be instantly forgiven. “‘Morning Freddie,” you said to Rami who was already in the teeth and nose, as you handed him a cup. He shot you a wink in return. 

When you handed Gwil his, he said softly, “You seem pretty chipper. How’re you doing?” 

The last time you had seen him you were fighting off tears.

You shrugged a little, “Better, I suppose. We went out for dinner last night.” 

“So that’s why you’re late, is it?” Joe said, pumping his eyebrows (immediately causing Ben to glare at him). 

“And what right would you have to judge if it was?” you sassed. 

He held his hands up in surrender, but looked to Ben who had tensed up. Seeing him so agitated got under your skin; he had no more right to an opinion on your sex life than anyone else. 

“Not that’s it’s any of your business, but I slept in my own bed last night — alone.”

You heard Julio, who was attaching Ben’s wig, chastise him for fidgeting too much.

“So no fun times for Y/N then?” Rami queried.

“Not this time, at any rate.” 

Ben piped up, “Are you seeing him again?”

“Probably. We haven’t arranged anything, but I think I’d like to see him again before he goes back.”

“You think?” he hesitated, “So what exactly is going on between you two?”

That was exactly the question you had been asking yourself. You sighed, and sat heavily on the sofa beside Gwil.

“No idea.” You sensed that ranting wasn’t what the guys had been looking for to start off a busy day, but it felt good to get things off your chest, “I don’t know what I’m expecting to come of all this. I mean, he’s only in London for a few weeks, it’s not like anything serious could happen.”

“Is that what you want? Something serious?” Gwil prompted. You groaned and buried your face in his shoulder, “I don’t knooow.”

He put his arm around you and when you looked up he smiled lovingly. He appeared shockingly like Brian to you then.

“I can’t tell what I want ‘cause it’s hidden beneath layers of nostalgia. He was my first love, I don’t know if I ever really got over him.”

“What happened between you?” Joe asked, quickly adding, “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“I moved back to England. Simple as that,” you replied. “I wanted to try and do long distance, but he said no, so we broke up. I thought he was the love of my life, you know? I thought I’d be with him forever, so when he said he wasn’t interested in trying to make things work it was a bit of a slap in the face, really. It sent me into this spiral of thinking that the whole time he meant more to me than I did to him, and that maybe he never actually loved me. It shook my confidence, a lot, and it took me a long time to build that back up. But, seeing him the other night, after everything I went through… he hasn’t changed a bit. He still makes me feel like the only woman in the world worth looking at when he talks to me.” You confession spilled out of you almost involuntarily, but you were grateful to the boys for listening. “Maybe it’s just the Italian,” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“What happens next, then?” Rami said with genuine concern for you.

“You tell me. I mean, part of me is terrified that exactly the same thing is going to happen again, I’ll fall arse over tit for him and he’ll just go running off back to Italy and I’ll be back where I was five years ago.”

“So maybe don’t see him again?” Joe said skeptically.

“But I want to,” you whined, “He makes me feel good.”

“Instant gratification though, it’s a bitch,” Gwil trilled.

You moaned, knowing deep down that he was right, “It’s the timing though, I can’t believe he’s showed up now.” Just when you needed a romantic distraction.

“What’s so special about now?’

You realised what you’d said, and how close you could have come to confessing your feelings for Ben. Even if you only said that you had feelings for someone they’d put two and two together sooner or later. That you could not risk, especially seeing as you’d decided you had to get over him.

“We’ll I’m a lot more mature now than I was then, I’m more confident in myself, I know my worth. What if I can handle it this time? We can have fun for a couple weeks, for old times sake, and then leave it there, move on.”

“Can you though?” Gwil doubted, “It’s never that easy, or that rational, when it’s your first love.” 

Of course he was right. Again. What an arsehole. You chanced a glance at Ben, who was staring steadfastly ahead, chewing the inside of his cheek.

“She’s not interested in me, mate!” Ben scowled dejectedly. “She was conflicted because of how things ended with him, it’s got fuck all to do with me. She doesn’t care about me.”

“That’s not fair, she does care very much about you. You can’t resent her for not having feelings for you,” Gwil reasoned. They were sat around during their lunch break, waiting for you to return with food. 

Ben had been watching you all morning for any sign that what the guys had said was true. He was kicking himself for not marching to your front door yesterday, before your date with that Matteo guy, and kissing you then and there. He had been so sure that you had connected that night in your trailer. Sure, he had been kind of drunk, but the chemistry was palpable. Every fibre of his body had been vibrating at just being that close to you. It tortured him that he hadn’t kissed you, or at least told you how he felt.

But now, it seemed like you barely thought of him. You hadn’t said anything about that moment; you’d barely looked at him in days. When you had spoken, it was relaxed and friendly: no sexual tension, no flirting, no banter. The rapport you had been building was suddenly gone, vanished without warning.

“I’m sorry man,” Joe consoled. “You’ve still got me though.”

That released a small chuckle from Ben, and he smiled with doe eyes, “My one true love.”

“One less person to battle with for your affection. Just me and you now, Gwil.” 

Ben laughed along with the rest of them, but a deep sadness settled heavily in his chest. You didn’t want him. He knew he should give it up, try to move on, but the thought of letting go of that beautiful dream almost hurt more than the knowledge that he could never have it. 

Just then you walked in and cheerily called, “I come bearing food!”

Joe gave Ben a pat on the back and got up to dig into the spread you were unloading. 

You noticed Joe’s behaviour and looked to Ben. There was a sadness hanging over him like a black cloud as he sat, picking at his fingernails. You debated in your mind whether to go and sit next to him. You were supposed to be getting over him, but surely the best way to do that was by being normal around him. Distancing yourself would only mask the problem, and you knew that those feelings would only resurface as soon as you saw him again. No, the way to move past it was to spend time with him, be a friend to him, and accept that friendship as good enough. You collected some food on a plate and took the seat beside him that Joe had just vacated.

“You okay? You seem a bit down,” you coaxed in a gentle tone as you offered him the plate. He took it gratefully, but didn’t meet your eyes.

“‘M fine.”

You nudged him with your shoulder, “You can’t lie to me Benny, what’s up? Trouble in your love life?” It was that kind of melancholy that suggested to you he was having girl trouble.

He pursued his lips, exhaling softly. “Something like that.”

You collapsed back into the sofa, sighing, “You and me both babe.” He looked back at you over his shoulder, a simper pulled at the corner of his mouth creating a dimple there, and you smiled; there was genuine warmth in his bright green eyes and it lit a candle in your heart. Seeing him happy was worth any heartbreak you might endure because of that smile.

“We just can’t win, can we,” he chuckled.

“Nope,” you said, popping the P, and joked, “We should just become celibate and be done with it.”

“Nah, I couldn’t cope with that, my libido is far too high.” 

You laughed heartily, and he leaned back so you were resting side-by-side. With easy-going indifference he laid his arm over the back of the sofa, and you let your head fall back to rest on it.

“Maybe we should just bang each other then, mutual satisfaction,” you mused, and shot him a look out of the corner of your eye. He cocked an eyebrow at you and you couldn’t keep a straight face. You both laughed in harmony, oblivious to the underlying longing that flared in both of you.

Joe and Gwil exchanged a look, the latter frowning while the former just shrugged and threw himself back into his lunch.

The closeness broke Ben’s heart. The way you could share such casual intimacy, then get up and walk away like it was nothing, devastated him. You had sat together, your head resting on his arm, then shifting to the spot where his shoulder met his chest, for the rest of the break. When you were called away he watched you go, mourning the sudden loss of warmth, but his his heart skipped a beat when you threw a smile at him over your shoulder as you walked away. How was he supposed to get over you when you smiled at him like that, all innocent and effortlessly beautiful? The muscles in his stomach clenched when he heard you humming quietly to yourself as you went about your job, the lilt of your voice drifting over to him on a balmy breeze. He held his breath when Josh went over and spoke to you, but relaxed when you dismissed him. He couldn’t hear the words you exchanged but by the mild disappointment on Josh’s face he assumed you had rejected whatever desperate advance he had made. As much as it pleased Ben that you weren’t interested in him, he was made aware of how many men were after you. He wasn’t surprised really, considering what a beautiful soul you were. The way you held yourself, with so much confidence and assurance, was captivating. You were gorgeous in a delicate, effortless way, but it was your heart that had him enraptured. You were endlessly kind, generous with your time and your love, but you had a mercilessly witty sense of humour. He wanted to be with you constantly; just being in your presence was worth the pain of his longing. When you disappeared outside to take a call, Ben’s eyes tracked you across the room. He saw how your face changed when yow read the Caller ID, he saw the mix of panic, excitement, and trepidation in your features. 

“Dude,” Joe admonished, slapping his arm lightly, “Stop staring at her.”

When Matteo called you on set you slipped outside to answer. It felt wrong, somehow, to take that call in front of everyone, in front of Ben. You panicked as he asked to see you again, still undecided as to what to do. It wasn’t until you heard your voice, sounding distant in your own head, agreeing to see him that evening that you realised you had already made the decision. You were well aware of the disappointment the guys felt in you after you told them why you couldn’t hang out after wrapping for the day. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” Gwil had cautioned.

“Probably not, right?” 

“But you’re going to do it anyway,” Joe sighed, defeated.

You met Matteo in his hotel room — a sure fire indication of what he wanted from the start — and ordered room service. There was an easy nonchalance with which you conversed. The stakes were low, you both knew where the night was headed, and before you knew how it had happened he was kissing you. 

And sliding your top up over your head. 

And kissing your neck, collarbones, breasts, sucking and biting as he went.

And you were moaning and panting and hot with lust.

The passion with which you made love was suffocating. Your bodies tuned back into each other effortlessly, and waves of pleasure washed over you again and again. It chased every thought from your mind and left only burning desire in its wake. Your body was on fire under his touch. It was slow, and sensual, expert. You rode him with eyes pressed tightly shut, chasing your orgasm as he grunted beneath you. You reached your peak and collapsed onto his chest and he gingerly detached himself from you and released his own climax onto your stomach. You lay, overcome, on the bed as he went to get a towel to clean you up, but as you caught your breath a nagging dissatisfaction crept into view. The sex had been great, as good as you remembered but you felt unfulfilled. Even as he gently wiped your skin clean, pressing kisses behind your ear, you felt lonely. He wasn’t what you wanted. 

You decided not to stay the night, but slipped out of the bed when Matty was lightly snoring. You scribbled a note on the hotel notepad on the bedside table, lying that you needed to leave for work, and thanking him for last night. You silently dressed yourself and crept out the door, only glancing back for a moment at the way a sliver of moonlight painted his skin silver.

At work the next day you were distracted, making silly mistakes and daydreaming constantly. You felt uneasy at what you had done. You had wanted Matteo, wanted to sleep with him, but as soon as you’d done it you couldn’t shake the tension in your chest. You didn’t regret your choice, but it was somewhere on that spectrum. Guilt flooded your body when you saw Ben watching you from his mark between takes. 

“Y/N? Will you get costume to come and fix Joe’s shirt please?” the first AD said with some annoyance. You had clearly not been listening the first time she’d asked. 

“Right, of course.”

“You slept with him, didn’t you?” Rami asked without preamble, as he got his prosthetic nose carefully peeled off.

You gave a dejected smile, “Am I so obvious?”

“How was it?” Joe probed. 

“Mate, there’s a line,” Gwil frowned.

“Fine. Good,” you sighed. “Satisfactory."

“And yet you seem unsatisfied,” Ben said, surprising you. He usually stayed quiet during conversations about your love life. When you didn’t respond he continued, “You know you deserve so much better than him, right?”

With a quiet voice you said, “You don’t know him, Ben.” 

“No,” he stood, assured, confident, “but I know you. And I see how he makes you feel. You haven’t been happy since you first laid eyes him. You’ve been tense, and quiet. It’s not you. You’re not yourself around him. You deserve someone who makes you happy, who makes you the most honest version of yourself. That isn’t him.” And with that he grabbed his clothes and left to change out of his costume, leaving you dumbstruck.

“Well that was quite the speech,” Joe said, sounding as shocked as you felt.

Heavy silence settled over the room, making the sudden ringing of your phone sound all the more harsh.

“Is it him?” Gwil asked, noticing the look on your face. You nodded.

“I don’t want him. I want to want him but I don’t,” you whispered, your voice weak.

“Then tell him.”

You went to a secluded corner of the room and answered the phone, “Hi Matty.”

You struggled to keep your voice from cracking as you spoke, and arranged to meet him at a bar not far from set. It felt wrong to confess your feelings (or lack thereof) to him over the phone, not after everything you had gone through together, all that you had shared, but equally you wanted to get it over with. 

The guys offered to go with you for moral support (and also to make sure you didn’t chicken out, or accidentally get seduced by him), but you kindly declined, knowing it was something you needed to do alone.

You didn’t get seduced by him. You told him in a calm voice when he arrived that you didn’t want to see him anymore, you told him that you had enjoyed catching up with him after so long, but that you couldn’t regress to that time of your life, that you had moved forward since you had been together and he wasn’t what you wanted anymore. He took it well, but there was still a melancholic tinge to his features when he said goodbye, kissing your cheek and whispering, “Caio, angelo mio.”

You watched him walk out of your life for the last time, and quickly wiped away the lone tear that trickled down your face. 

tags: @anikatcmh @queen-turtle-boiii @orchideax @rogerspoison @my5secondsofneverland @mrsmazzello @ixchel-9275 @radiob-l-a-hblah @devin-marie  @luvborhap @mercurycrowley @spaghetittiesbcimgay @valeriecarolinaw @saint-hardy @caborhapch @stephanie-everlasting @coldmuffinpartycloud 

[creativi-dees1509-blog]

First Blog: Netflix Documentary

Blog 1: Killer inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez

 This documentary just dropped last Wednesday and I got a chance to view this three part event. During the time of the case I very seldomly kept tabs on the case. I watched it, but not that often. I just remembered everyone painting him as killer and not really giving him the benefit of the doubt at all. I remembered in that year my sister was complaining that he didn’t get a fair trial, but of course she’s a Patriots fan so I painted her biased. Fast forward a thousand years later and as I’m getting ready to watch another episode of the Magician -great show by the way- I see a trailer pop up Monday…a very dramatic trailer and labeled the Mind of Aaron Hernandez and right away I add on my list, so as soon as it debuts I view.

Here’s my take on the Aaron Hernandez case by the documentary perception. Aaron is charged for the murder of Odin Lloyd and then later a double murder in Florida. From what I gathered the evidence on the Odin Lloyd case was circumstantial. No evidence that he was the one that murdered him. The blueberry bubble gum and black and mild that he purchased prior that was found on the murder scene is only enough evidence to prove he was there…not that he committed the murder. Along with the rental car. From text messages and events leading up to Lloyd’s murder there was no motive there at all. Nothing but rumors and hearsay. Then they attempted to get him on the double murder of two “innocent” men that he randomly shot up because a drink spilled on him? Now Alexander Bradley (looks shady as hell) that was with him that claims Hernandez shot him in the head…I felt he wasn’t a credited witness from the first testimony. This dude is facing four charges and is looking for them to get drop and clearly made a deal with the prosecution, because what would be the reason for the prosecution to list the charges this witness was facing, other than blackmail of some sort. That’s what it sounded like to me. The lawyer Hernandez had previously was pitiful. I mean his representation was terrible. I literally felt like the lawyer did nothing to help Hernandez, in fact if I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was in bed with the prosecution. He could’ve made a better case than what he did. It was basically let’s see how the case turns out based on the evidence they have build up. The case had no direction. It sounded to me like witch hunt. This man’s in prison, -not sure if he’s guilty or not- waiting for a sentencing and he gets life based on the what? A jury’s bias because he tatted up with a rough past. I feel like Hernandez was painted as a killer from day one. Netflix already labeled the series with a biased titled and they’re the ones who documented the series and yet they came up with “inside killer”. I am a person who believes there are two sides to every story. I tried to watch the documentary with an open mind, and I do feel for families who had to go through these devastating years losing a loved one. I really do. We can only suggest than Hernandez is a killer. Guarantee if this was Rob Gronkowski instead of Aaron Hernandez, the state of Mass. would have presented this case in a completely different light.

 They proceed with the other “disturbing” evidence of Hernandez at home playing with his kids and his “associates” right after Lloyd’s death. Because the video footage didn’t show a sad or scared Hernandez this means he murdered someone. After he was found guilty Hernandez later on hired Jose’ Baez. Someone who cared to prove the evidence they had as circumstantial. He even said in the courtroom the evidence wasn’t hard to find. He found video footage that suggested Hernandez wasn’t angry that night. Witness to testify what they saw that night. The previous witnesses…if you in the club, drinking, how the hell do you remember what Hernandez eyes look like? Were they killer eyes? Really? C’mon man. So when Baez said the evidence suggesting Hernandez wasn’t angry that night wasn’t heard to find…all they had to do was look at it. There was a lot of shadiness going on with this case. They had just mentioned earlier in the documentary that Bradley was shooting people up for no reason. A car shootout wouldn’t be up his ally? Again, the most they had on Hernandez is he had to have committed those murders because he smoked weed a lot and was in clubs. If smoking weed, drinking, bouncing around clubs, and getting in the bar fights makes you a murderer than damn, nearly 80% of American must be murderers.

 Just a side note: I do believe that Bobby Kraft and Urban Meyer could’ve done more to help Hernandez. Meyer knew that Hernandez had some trouble in CT if he noticed the change every time he visited home. Why of all teams would you write a letter of recommendation to NE? I get Oakland and others…but NE? No. Then once he got to NE when he came to Belichek (spelling?) and asked to be traded, instead of just…straight…no. He should’ve been asking some probing questions. He might’ve been better off in a whole ‘nother state away all the violence and criminal activities he was involved with before. I know Hernandez is a grown man, but on his assessment his maturity level was graded 1 on a scale of 1-10. I’m assuming that means he was child-like. I do believe he might’ve needed better guidance. NFL owners and coaches only care about you when you’re making them money. Never mind the players mental health.

 To conclude my review for the most part I agreed with every Baez said about the Hernandez case. The investigation was beyond sloppy and I expected a better and more thorough investigation from a big state like Massachusetts. I guess it was thorough, but they couldn’t find solid proof that Hernandez committed these murders. You can argue that he’s guilty by association and who knows he could’ve been the one running the whole operation. Truth is you can’t proof it. Like OJ Simpson. Now I will say this the documentary turned out to be watchable, but disappointing. Documentary steered in too many different directions in the narrative they were trying to run with. First it was his upbringing, watching his father abuse his mom and his toxic masculinity. Then it became some off based random document about his sexuality…which is completely irrelevant to the case. Being gay doesn’t not make you murder people. I understand blaming anger on him locking his sexuality in the closet and paranoid about someone finding out…but then they blamed his anger and sudden “violent” mood swings on CTE?! So…which was it? Then they claim the suicide was due to him trying to make his wife rich…then it became about CTE again. I really do feel that something very shady was happening with this case. By the court video footage when he was acquitted on the double homicide that was the most emotion, I’d seen him show in ALL the courtroom footage. He appeared happy to beat the charges and maybe hopeful that he would win his appeal for the Odin Lloyd case. Five days before the appeal that he likely would have won, he just ends his life? No security guards the whole night, nobody around to watch the floor. CTE caused that at age 27. Hmm. Documentary was sorta choppy, kinda sloppy for Netflix. I think the series should’ve been better organized. I love Netflix documentaries, but documentary was barely bearable. I expected so much more. Wouldnt recommend it.

[nationallark]

Blood From the Stone, an adaptation of Onision’s Stones to Abbigale, Chapter One [EDIT: now complete] 3k words

(AN: hi friends! I decided to go ahead and align chapter one of my rework with chapter one of STA, so here it is for you guys! from now on, I’ll be posting the full chapters on Tumblr and I’ll put links to my Wattpad and Ao3 in my About page!!)

I hope you enjoy :)

The moment I opened my eyes, I was blinded by my freshly wallpapered room. Several days into my latest drastic redecoration, even the cast iron bed frame was now painted white. Light peeking through a narrow opening in the curtains bounced off the walls, making me clamp my eyes shut. Clearly, changing my room back to wall-to-wall white was another in a long line of self-inflicted psychological tortures.

My family could tell that the black had depressed me. I found comfort in the darkness, but neither extreme was without fault. I didn’t mind waffling between light and dark bedrooms, as I had ample spray paint and plenty of time to kill, but for a moment the intense light show pouring through the bay window felt like it was burning clear through to my brain.

Mom, having switched to the overnight shift by mid June, didn’t wake me up like she used to. Then again, neither did my alarm clock. I rolled away from the window and squinted into its plastic face only to see a cheaply backlit 8:17 AM staring back at me.

Great, I was going to be late again.

Not taking the time to grab my usual handful of cereal, I scribbled an excuse note and pulled a sweater over my sleep shirt before hopping on my scooter and pointing it in the direction of the school. As soon as the cold wind began to sting my cheeks, I realized that I in my haste had forgotten a scarf. Oh well.

I narrowly missed crashing into a giggly Lauren and Raymond who, hand in hand, were heading away from the school and towards the old church, no doubt to smoke or make out or any number of activities Lakewood students tended to use the place for.

Mr. Hanson, my heavyset history teacher, gave me a withering look as I ducked into his room with only fifteen minutes left in first period.

“James, talk to me after class,” he said mildly from his perch in the back of the room. I dropped my note on his desk on my way over to one of the few empty seats, electing to try and absorb some of the day’s lesson from the ongoing group activity rather than sit outside and count ceiling tiles.

It didn’t take long, however, for my mind to wander from British colonialism to the fascinating small scale history being made around me. I watched as Calvin, one of the honor students who was gunning for valedictorian, explained the reasoning behind his answers while Jaime nodded along and Miranda half paid attention to him while also monitoring Mr. Hanson to know when it was safe to chew her gum. It was too early in the school year for anyone to be too stressed out over grades, so there was only a sense of resigned monotony among the students.

That is, until the bell rang.

Over the ensuing bustle, Mr. Hanson glanced up from his work and looked at me expectantly, but I could only smile and shrug as I allowed myself to be pushed into the hallway with everyone else. Sorry, Mr. Hanson; I had a more important class to get to.

My second period was all the way across campus, relegated to one of the ancient trailers that also held the ESL students, sign language class, and music appreciation. Sculpture I, being one of the easier options for making the required fine arts credit, was naturally full of slackers and people who, like me, weren’t talented enough in music or theater to take anything else.

My cross-campus trek was interrupted by dozens of students circled around what I could only assume to be a fight. Unfortunately, the fight just happened to be in the center of the hallway that was my only path to art class. I hunched my shoulders and slipped through the growing crowd, breaking into a jog as the minute bell rang. I normally wouldn’t bother with getting to class on time, but I made an exception for sculpture; sculpture was the class I had with Abbi.

Ever since I’d seen Abbi in second period on the first day of senior year, she was all I could think about. Every day she would sit at the left side of a shared desk, drop her bag on the left side of her chair, and, resting her elbows on the tabletop, pick at the fake wood grain desk cover with her pencil.

As I ascended the creaking steps into the trailer, there were more seats open than I expected, probably because their usual occupants were still observing the fight I’d managed to squeeze past. There Abbi was, however, in the same getup as usual: her dark, wavy hair bunching on top of the desk as she bent over it, her deep purple eyeshadow and tinted brows still visible through the fringe. She had on the army jacket I’d never seen her without, even during messier art projects that showed in the cuffs of its sleeves. Even in the harsh light of the trailer’s fluorescent bulbs, she looked fantastic.

I tried not to make it too obvious that I was rushing to sit next to her, so I forced myself to slow down and take a casual approach to the desk. Step. Wave to Mrs. Stanley. Step. Check out the newest student-made hangings above her seat. Three steps. Gently drop my bag onto the desk.

Finally, I pulled the metal desk chair out and plopped into it with a grin ready for Abbi to turn and look at me...which happened to be at the exact same moment my thighs registered how ungodly cold the A/C had made the chair. I hissed in shock and stood up to save myself from mild frostbite, pushing the chair away from me and tipping it backwards and onto the floor with a metallic crash. Having looked up from her handiwork in time to see everything go down, Abbi glanced mildly at the chair, then at me, and went back to work without even laughing at me. Freaking smooth, James.

I picked up the chair amid the laughter of the other sculpture students and the quiet concern of Mrs. Stanley and sat down once again, this time being careful to pull the stretchy fabric of my shorts down long enough to cover the metal seat. I aimed my smile back at Abbi, who, this time, didn’t look up.

I barely had time to be disappointed before the stragglers arrived clearly invigorated by the hallway fight, whooping and hollering before Mrs. Stanley told them to quiet down or she’d mark them as tardy. Once again I looked at Abbi, whose attention was held steadfast by the desk cover. Well, at least it wasn’t just me that couldn’t get her attention. At this, I felt a wave of relief.

The relief was cut short, however, when one of the stragglers named Jason joined us at the shared desk, taking the seat directly across from Abbi. His arrival and unceremonious dumping of his bag on the desktop earned him a brief look and a practiced readjustment of Abbi’s position so that he wouldn’t accidentally bump into her, and once again the relief flooded my system.

Now that everyone was in their seats, Mrs. Stanley, looking for all the world like a walking retirement party, officially began class by going over the previous day’s finished assignment, which itself was the culmination of our unit on color and texture. I myself had modeled my project after my then-black room with soft black silk and smooth painted wood and was given an A for my trouble.

The main topic of discussion, however, wasn’t our grades. It was the introductory project for the next unit: symbolism and storytelling. Mrs. Stanley began to hand out the rubrics for the project while she gave us the bad news: we were going to be working with partners.

No, no, no. Not okay, because with my luck, I’d be paired with bonehead Jason or asshole Alex who’d just gotten back from a stint in alternative school for exposing himself in the cafeteria last year. I struggled to pay attention as she continued to outline the project.

“To simplify things,” she said, still handing out papers, “you’re going to be paired with the person across from you.”

That rule meant I was paired with….oh, God. While I wasn’t looking, Alex had apparently drifted into class and sat in the one remaining seat, which just so happened to be next to Jason and across from me. This wasn’t happening.

I’d been there in the cafeteria last year when Alex exposed himself. I’d even seen it. I can’t say I was particularly impressed, but I guess I didn’t have very much data with which to compare. Regardless, I was uninterested in being stuck with this kid for God knows how long while trying to work with whatever drivel he’d come up with and pass of as ideas.

My musing was interrupted by a voice that said “Can I be paired with James?”

Hearing the rare appearance of Abbi’s somber voice made me smile despite myself, and I took a moment to apprecia--wait. That was my name that had come out of her mouth. She’d asked to be paired with me. I couldn’t blame her, really, as her other option was Jason, who was barely a notch above Alex in terms of competence.

Despite her annoyance at Abbi’s resistance of her rules, Mrs. Stanley appeared to take pity on the both of us and rearranged our partnerships to put Abbi and I together and sic Jason and Alex upon each other. Looking only a little hurt, Jason huffed and looked Alex up and down before shrugging and choosing not to make a stink about the arrangement.

As Mrs. Stanley continued, I tried to remind myself that Abbi was only working with me to avoid the more offensive option that was Jason. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the thought that Abbi would be talking directly to me and nobody else in second period for the next several days.

“For this project, you will each take something you own, and together, you will create something that brings new meaning to your possessions. In case you can’t tell, this is a project that’s going to render the items you bring useless for the future, so I wouldn’t suggest bringing a favorite shirt or expensive electronic. Today, you’ll work on deciding what you’ll bring and sketching out the final product.”

My mind was racing with ideas about what I could bring when I stopped to consider what Abbi might have to offer. What would she consider useful but okay to part with? Surely she had a spare makeup brush or two, with all the work she clearly put into doing her face day after day.

“What are you going to bring?”

I wished she’d say my name again. I’d always thought my name was so boring, but coming from Abbi, it was beautiful. Shit, gotta answer before I look like a weirdo.

“Uh, I don’t know…” Great.

“You could bring something to go in my hamster cage,” said Abbi.

“Did he die or something?” I winced, mentally berating myself. Great, just great. Bring up her dead hamster. That’ll make her have the hots for you.

“Never had one. Dad got the cage and forgot the hamster.”

“How do you forget a hamster? Was he high?” Abbi shrugged and looked away, and I took the opportunity to feel like a complete ass, first for bringing up her nonexistent dead hamster and then for asking about her maybe-stoned father. I wondered, briefly, how the species ever managed to repopulate if there were men like me walking around and completely turning women off.

Instead of shutting my mouth, I decided to try one more time to lift her spirits.

“Maybe I could, uh, bring that weird thing my mom keeps in her bedside table?”

Abbi snorted and, for a fleeting moment, gave me the most perfectly little crooked smile I’d ever seen on those plum-painted lips. And, by God, I was the one who put it there. I let slip an eye-crinklingly wide smile before composing myself into what I hoped was a sly grin. Abbi got ahold of herself too and opened her mouth, hopefully not to be too grossed out with me.

“Tell me you didn’t actually touch your mom’s--”

“Of course not!” I interrupted her. I didn’t know if I could stand to hear that combination of words aimed at me and not die from the resulting embarrassment. I laced my fingers together and stared down at my desk, willing my reddening cheeks to calm down.

Soon, the bell rang and dismissed us to third period, and I quickly stood up, grabbing my things and getting ready to run away from the social situation my big mouth had put me in. I was in such a hurry, in fact, that I almost missed Abbi calling my name from our desk.

I stopped short of the door and sidestepped the other students rushing back to the main school building. Having successfully grabbed my attention, Abbi reached into the scrap paper box and pulled out a white and gold speckled scrap of tissue paper.

“Here,” she said, scribbling something down on it. “gotta run; gym class.”

I felt for her; to get to the stadium for girls’ gym, she was going to have to cross the whole campus and wait for the crosswalk. But more importantly, she gave me a note! I scrambled to open it as I walked to class and discovered she’d written down a phone number. Her phone number? My eyes snapped upwards to the hallway, but Abbi was long gone.

For the rest of the school day, I was floating on air. Abbi had never once given me a second look, but now that we’d spoken some she wanted me to have her phone number! Did she want me to call her? I decided to play it safe and wait until I was home to do anything. I moved my phone case and gently pushed the note inside for safekeeping.

The final bell couldn’t have come soon enough. I picked up my scooter and ran to the bus in hopes of getting home as soon as possible, and Davis waved me over from a seat near the back. I joined him.

“Blow me off again this morning? I’m starting to get lonely,” Davis said with a theatrical sigh. I gave him my best eye roll in return while artfully cramming my scooter in one of the overhead storage areas. I sat down next to Davis and held my backpack in my lap.

“Alarm didn’t go off,” I said, gazing out the window at all the people milling around in the bus circle. Why wouldn’t they get out of the way? Didn’t they know I had something important to do?

“Whatcha’ looking at?” said Davis.

“Oh, nothing. Just wish these assholes would mo--”

And suddenly through the throng of students and teachers I saw Abbi perched on the hood of an old Sedan in the parking lot, looking bored out of her mind and utterly, utterly perfect. Without looking away I grabbed Davis’ sleeve and pulled him towards the window.

“See that girl? That’s Abbi.” I said.

Davis squinted at the parking lot. “The emo chick with the crappy car? That’s your dream girl?”

I smacked him on the shoulder and spoke, still unable to look away.

“She’s amazing. She’s artistic and good at carving, she always does her eyebrows perfectly, and she matches her makeup to the paint stains on her jacket cuffs.”

“Uh, okay. Why not wash the jacket?”

I was getting ready to reply when an unwelcome figure entered my field of vision. Seth, one of the assholes in my history class who liked to talk back to Mr. Hanson, walked up to Abbi and hugged her while she sat on the hood. And sure enough, those paint speckled cuffs wrapped around his waist and hugged right back.

I sat back in my seat and tried not to look as devastated I felt. Of course she had a boyfriend. How could a girl like that not have a boyfriend already? Besides, I didn’t have any right to be upset. Before today, I’d barely said ten words to her altogether. I opened my phone case and pulled out Abbi’s note. Why had she given me this, then?

When my stop came I rode my scooter the rest of the way home and dumped my backpack on the floor before flopping onto my bed. So, Abbi wasn’t trying to get me to ask her out. And she wasn’t asking me out, either. So...what gives? I sent her a text, trying my best to seem casual. Abbi? It’s James.

She replied a few minutes later, Cool. Was wondering when you’d text. So, what are you bringing? And don’t say your mom’s vibrator.

Oh, so that’s why she gave me her number. Of course. We hadn’t started on the sketch for our project, and we hadn’t even figured out what we were bringing. Scanning the room, I came up with the first thing I saw and texted her back. A stuffed animal?

This time, her response was almost instantaneous. What if I bring one of mine and we do like a zombie animal?

I couldn’t help sighing dreamily at her idea. I did tell Davis she was artistic, after all. Sounds cool! :)

Sweet.

As much as I wanted to keep talking to Abbi, I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I set my phone down and picked a stuffed animal I was willing to part with--a brown bear with a red ribbon--and put it in my backpack for tomorrow before hopping in the shower. I lowered myself to the floor of the tub and distantly felt the warm water hitting my chest.

[james-stark-the-writer]

So, I saw Ms. Marvel yesterday...

First off, no, I refuse to call her Captain Marvel, because A] No one in the movie does and B] She's the first Ms. Marvel in the comics. I don't really care about MCU Canon. This should tell you all about how I'm approaching this film. As it's own separate thing. I don't care if there's inconsistencies from details relating to prior MCU films. I really don't. Okay, with that out of the way, Ms. Marvel was... An tolerable film at worst and a okay/good film at best.

SPOILERS FOLLOW FOR THE MOVIE (MILD SPOILERS) AND A FEW MS. MARVEL AND CAPTAIN MARVEL COMICS (HEAVY SPOILERS) AS WELL. READ MORE AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It wasn't a great film neither was it a very good film. It was enjoyable, I won't deny that. But I was definitely disappointed. I expected more. Let me tell you a bit what I thought the movie was first announced: I was excited they were making a movie about Mar-Vell. That's who I was excited to see. Not fucking Carol Danvers. If this movie was called Ms. Marvel I wouldn't have a problem with Carol. But it's not called that. So, yeah. Second, if you know anything about me, I don't watch trailers, theories or anything including the casting until I've seen the movie. I don't like spoilers of any kind. Okay, so you cannot imagine my disappointment when I found out the movie was about fucking Carol Danvers. She was always a bad character and the movie somehow made her worse. I didn't even think that was possible but okay. Hell, I'd have been okay if the movie was about Genis-Vell or Phyla-Vell. But fucking Carol???

Anyway, putting aside my gripes with her character, everyone's already guessed that Nick Fury and Phil Coulson stole the show (despite the limited screentime Coulson had). And Goose. Goose was cool too. Now I have no doubt Brie is a talented actress and she did pretty well with Carol. I mean, Carol is already a wet piece of cardboard. There really wasn't much she could do with her. But she did what she could and she's at least tolerable, at times being fun like when she and her friend Moira (?) or Maria (?) [I honestly forgot her name] are bonding over her old stuff. Or when she's fighting the Skrull.

Now, I am biased. I am really biased. My first introduction to both Ms. Marvel and Captain Marvel was from a game called Marvel's Ultimate Alliance. And it even had Skrulls in the game. So that was my intro to them. I've always loved Captain Marvel when he was Mar-Vell (yes, he. I don't know why they made Mar-Vell a woman. It had no effect on the story and it just felt shoed in because of women's day. Like what the fuck was the point) or when he was Genis-Vell. Hell, I'd even have watched a movie with Monica Rambeau as Captain Marvel. Who was the little girl in the movie. Yes, she was Captain Marvel at one point. The second Captain Marvel after Mar-Vell.

Carol Danvers became Captain Marvel after her. Go figure. Anyway, now there's a new Ms. Marvel in the comics a girl called Kamala Khan. But maybe they were just trying to go with current comics Canon which is that Carol is Captain Marvel because of reasons given below. Spoilers for comics as well.

So, now that that's been established, let's get to the movie.

The movie was okay. The script was fine. The soundtrack was nothing to write home about but it gets a point for TLC's Waterfalls. However, it instantly gets it taken away because it barely lasted ten seconds. Fuck you. I was getting my jam on and the song just stopped. Why did you play it then??? You could have used literally anything else. Fuck you.

Anyway, I don't give a shit about the politics surrounding the movie. I don't. The movie, on its own, is okay. The plot twist is extremely predictable but honestly doesn't really matter. And the characters, besides the main fucking character, are good, fun and enjoyable. Which is as you might fucking expect, is a bad thing. Captain Marvel isn't as well known of a character as like Black Panther or Spider Man or whatever. I really hoped they put more effort into this because the fucking character already has such a small fan base compared to the more famous ones. But noooo, they had to go screw up it up. Can you tell I'm salty, yet?

Ugh, I'm getting sidetracked again. Fuck. Anyway, the movie is okay. It's nothing to write home about. It's enjoyable. It's entertaining. It's even engaging. If you care about endgame, watch it. If you don't, maybe still consider giving it a try. But other than that, it doesn't really matter if you skip it. Because honestly the only point of this movie is to set up a dynamic between Fury and Carol and show how Fury lost his eye. The movie also features a cameo by Ronan the Destroyer (I think that's his title) from the first Guardians of the Galaxy Movie when he was young. Anyway, it's fun. It's definitely not the devil and if you haven't read about the better Captain Marvels' than Carol Danvers, feel free to watch it. But if you've seen what the character can be, I'd recommend skipping it. You really won't be missing anything. And besides the end credits scene, this really adds nothing necessary to the plot for endgame. Really, if you want to skip it, I'll even tell you what happened in the post credits scene. Rhodey, Cap and Natasha are trying to find out where Fury's pager is sending a signal to (which they don't explain how they got or how they know its Fury's. It also doesn't explain how Natasha didn't know about Captain Marvel. I feel like Fury would have told her about it) and then Carol arrives from behind and asks where Fury is. That's it. Definitely not worth your money.

Edit: I know I said I didn't care about previous MCU lore but they retconned a bunch of stuff like in Captain America The First Avenger, Howard Stark found the Tessaract but it makes an appearance in this movie as well and apparently Mar-Vell, the female one, found it and stored it on her ship and then Carol gave it to Fury. So, like, what the fuck happened there? There's also differences in old dialogue like when Fury says this was the first time that they'd been exposed to alien life in the first avengers movie but he knew Carol before as well as the Skrulls and the Kree. That makes no sense. They just scrapped it together and it's annoying if you care about MCU lore. I don't so it didn't bother me much but if you care, just be warned.