#fem Joongdok

[porcelaintoybox23]

Things that can’t be said

Hi, I’m mentally ill. Here’s a small continuation fic set after 551. I am also bi, so it’s fem!dokjoong. Feel free to imagine their male selves.

Joonghyuk sits on the sidewalk. It’s still early, and the industrial complex remains silent, most of its occupants still asleep. She looks up to a small window in the upper right corner, floor three room five. It was a room she was painfully aware of, one she avoided for the better part of two years. Her hands shake and she grabs her water bottle to steady them.

The person occupying was the one they had all longed to see. Someone worth braving another fucking apocalypse, someone worth causing an unending apocalypse. Despite the odds, their little nebula had succeeded. That’s what they had always done, fight with their backs against the wall unyielding from probability. They created a reality that’s worth living in.

Joonghyuk isn’t happy. She’s not unhappy nor is she regretful. Joonghyuk doesn’t know how she feels. There’s something there, deep down, but her emotions have been dulled from 1864 regressions. That nameless thing sits there like the outer gods and the hounds that chase them, writhing and desperate to grab onto something. Joonghyuk can’t say when they appeared, these feelings she can’t quite suppress. They sit in her bones.

The curtains in the room are closed, but they’ll open around eight. By then, Joonghyuk will be taking Mi Ah to school and helping Namgung Minyoung in her restaurant. It’s been a month since she’s returned from the other reaches of the universe. Time was meaningless there, but the silver streaks in her hair was sign that she was firmly grounded in it nonetheless. That trip did change her. She prefers the day now, feels the seeming insignificance of her stories. Sometimes, she finds Biyoo in her bed, clutching tightly onto her fingers. Joonghyuk wonders who the comfort is really for.

She finishes the water and stretches. Sounds are emerging from the complex and she knows people will start milling about. She needs to go.

“Joonghyuk-ah.”

Joonghyuk stiffens at the hand on her shoulder. That buried feeling sharpens, howling for release. There’s no point in feigning ignorance.

“Kim Dokja.” She gets up and the hand slips through her arm, leading her to a secluded corner. Even in a world without scenarios, her strength far surpasses that of Kimcom’s leader, but she can’t fight against the firm touch.

It’s a tiny grotto Lee Seolhwa had nurtured behind the complex. Little bunches of chrysanthemums, lillies, and surprisingly, sunflowers decorate the ground as weeping willows provide a curtain of privacy. They sit on a stone bench and watch the passerby through the trees.

“Joonghyuk, why have you been avoiding me.” It’s phrased like a question but is a statement, an acknowledgment of the awkwardness. Dokja moves in closer, leaning against Joonghyuk’s shoulder. The tentacles grab at her ribs and it feels like drowning from the inside out.

“You won’t even look at me. What happened?”

“Why don’t you ask the 1%?” She clamps her mouth shut, bending her head to hide beneath her bangs. The hounds are chomping at their bits.

Joonghyuk can see Dokja’s face clearly. The brown-grey eyes widening, eyebrows slightly pinched as her mouth twists in the left corner. It’s one of many looks she’s memorized, one of the only faces still clear in her memories.

“You’ve been avoiding me all month. Han Sooyoung thinks your hiding from me.” Dokja ends with a small laugh. Joonghyuk hand starts to shake as she takes a sharp breath. That feeling has risen into her throat, coats her mouth in a bitter, inky poison that she cannot handle. She stands.

“Joonghyuk-ah, I know your mad—“

“I’m not mad!” Joonghyuk isn’t mad. What she feels is indescribable, it’s the vast darkness of the outer worlds, the bright emptiness of the space between words, it’s the pain of hope taken and dashed in front of her for thousands of years, it’s a fragment masquerading as a whole, it’s the small child lying comatose in room five of the third floor. She finally turns and sees those calculating eyes, the slight paling of skin due to recovery and nerves.

Dokja’s hand is still on her arm, warm, pulse thrumming steadily with life. She looks at Joonghyuk expectantly, like she knows how this would go, how Joonghyuk would react. She always seemed to know, what she thought, how she felt. Those eyes held an answer for every question Joonghyuk has. Does she know what this feeling is? What name to give in order to bind it to the depths of her fragmented soul?

“I’m not mad!” Joonghyuk’s never been one for words, that’s Han Sooyoung. She could describe the indescribable, break it down into digestible words and metaphors that would bring tears to the coldest of hearts, but Joonghyuk isn’t a writer, she’s not a reader, she’s a protagonist.

How can she describe that pain of realizing Dokja had left, again, the pain of looking at that child like some cruel mockery sent to punish her?

Dokja moves in front and carefully traces a finger under her eye. Joonghyuk’s cheeks are warm and she feels wetness traveling down. When did she start crying? What regression did she last shed a tear in?

Those eyes that she imagined in those pages, words she desperately devoured to stay whole, during what she thought was her ▪️▪️They look at her. The certainty that followed her through the 1863rd round. Even deeper lies thus realization, the outcome was already fated. The hounds and outer gods howl as her tears flow in earnest but she can’t let them out. Her chest heaves and her heart feels like it will burst but she will endure. That’s what she does, even in a world with a weakened star stream.

“I can’t undo what’s been done,” two thin arms surround her and her eyes take in the sunflowers through blurry eyes.

“but, I’m sorry. I missed you.”

A mangled scream comes from somewhere. The demons within her cry out in freedom.

If Dokja finds the dead weight leaning on her heavy, she makes no complaint. She just stands there holding the woman who had saved her countless times, again and again, gently patting her hair. In between soul-shattering sobs, she hears:

“I missed you too.”

[boombams]

uhhhhh smth smth yoorihankim.... yeag

[moran4444]

Fem!joongdok

[sphiggo]

Joongdokception

[ambercowbunart]

orv fem joongdok and masc sangsoo

[bidokja]

accidently came across joongdok art today with fem!dokja and thought to myself, That looks..so weird?? something felt missing but i couldn't quite put my finger to it. But then i came across punisher and fem!dokja and thought, yeah this seems right.

basically, as long as joongdok still has homoerotic tension then all makes sense lol

the last art actually had genderbent hsy too, so its still a win for bi yhk <3

HELP thats so funny actually fhsjfjd and no yeah i can picture guy dokja with girl joonghyuk but CANNOT picture girl dokja without girl joonghyuk. i think its cause whenever i see genderbends these days i just automatically swap out the word "genderbend" with "trans" and i cannot. CANNOT. picture dokja cracking first. like. there's just zero way thats happening. han sooyoung cracked first before ORV even started and then poured her trans swag into every character in ORV. joonghyuk cracks during or after the epilogue. kim dokja is like. i think dokja Might crack one day but in the same way as those chicks that get stuck in the egg with just their head or only their feet sticking out dhsjdhsk

ANYWAYS. these genderbends are trans AND gay and there is nothing anyone can do about it!!!!

[king-of-a-kingless-world]

orv headcannons bc i feel like it

dokja: demiaro demi ace trans man autistic as shit also very much bisexual

sooyoung: audhd. mmmmmmm omni with pref for women and nb ppl. demi girl.

joongdok: autism dude. genderfluid. biiiiisexual

sangah: lesbiab with really bad comp het. would use any pronouns but identifies as a woman

heewon: pan. nonbinary. neo pronoun user. doesnt care what ppl call her. adhd as fuck

hyunsung: bi. adhd. currently questioning his gender and will always be questioning his gender.

nirvana: NONBINARY BABEYYYY. only likes guys but doesnt use a label because who the frick knows

asuka: bi, they/she, autism 👍

kyrgios: ace. gayyyy gay gay gayyy. trans dude

min jiwon (i love her she needs to be noticed): trans fem. lesbian but also has comp het. adhd.

uriel :D : LESBIAN FUJOSHIS FOR THE WIN. trans because i want her to be.

if there are other characters that you want hc for and that i know i will give my hc

[marisramblings]

Thief! (Fem!Dokja x Fem!Joonghyuk)

Kinda forgot to post here about my Fem!Dokjoong/Joongdok anthology. It’s an update when I have inspo thing so I’ll take any requests.

Warnings: very, very slight nsfw

Dokja throws her hands up in frustration. She’s emptied out her drawer, closet, and laundry basket, but she can’t find her tls123 shirt. Sooyoung’s book signing is today and her only request is for Dokja to wear the shirt. Does Dokja want to go? Absolutely not, but Sooyoung’s paying and she needs extra money for her girlfriend’s birthday gift.

Joonghyuk’s birthday is in two weeks and Dokja’s been saving for the new switch. Joonghyuk’s really been into Omori, and she wants to buy the accompanying art book. It’s $70 before taxes and shipping. Her monthly salary is not enough for these gifts and her portion of the bills.

Dokja goes through everything one more time. She puts everything back before storming into the living room with a frustrated groan. Joonghyuk looks up from her perch on the couch. Her curly hair has been wrestled into a crooked braid, courtesy of Mia. She’s watching some cooking show and writing down the recipe.

“What’s wrong?”

Dokja sighs as she collapses onto the couch. “I can’t find my tls shirt. Sooyoung told me that I have to wear it or she won’t pay me.”

Joonghyuk places a hand on Dokja’s head and pats it. Her gaze remains on the tv.

“I can just give you money.”

Damn. Dokja thought she had hidden her uttering motivation better. “I’m a capable adult. I can make my own money.” Does her girlfriend make more from a single stream than she does in two months? Yes, but it’s the principle, not the practicality.

“Hm.” Joonghyuk opens the blanket just enough for Dokja to wriggle beside her.

Dokja looks at Joonghyuk. Her gaze is uninterested, as usual, and she’s wearing her gaming jacket. She’s always cold or never hot, and Dokja has yet to figure out which. Something peaks out from the fabric and she carefully pulls it to the side.

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“Hm,” is all Joonghyuk says, but Dokja can see the hint of a smile.

“You are!”

Joonghyuk deftly dodges Dokja’s grasping hands. “I guess you’ll just have to stay home then.”

“Are you serious? I need the money—“

Joonghyuk pulls her in and gives Dokja a quick kiss. Smirks at her shocked face.

“If it’s for my birthday, I’m fine. Dumplings, you, and games are all I want anyway.”

“Should I feel flattered or offended that I’m second on the list?”

Joonghyuk shrugs. “What were you saving for, anyway?”

“I was going to get the new switch and the Omori art book.”

Joonghyuk stills. Her eyes narrow in a look Dokja is intimately familiar with.

“Give me the shirt, Joonghyuk-ah.”

“Fine, but tell Han Sooyoung that she’s a conniving snake.”

Dokja rolls her eyes. “I’ll miss you, too. It’s only a few hours.”

***

Dokja quietly slips into the house. She got held up a lot longer than she planned. It’s long last Mia’s bedtime but Joonghyuk would’ve stayed to make sure she eats dinner. The new manager at Minosoft was a taskmaster, and Dokja is seriously considering being Sooyoung’s agent. Well, maybe not that.

She pads over to the living room to set down her bag. The television flickers with a late night program. Joonghyuk is curled up on the couch, fast asleep.

Dokja smiles and kisses her forehead. She’d have taken a photo, if she wanted to die.

Joonghyuk shifts around before blinking. She squints in the low light and wrinkles her nose. Dokja stifles a laugh at the little curl sticking up.

“Hmm, your dinner is in the kitchen.”

Dokja turns off the tv. “Nice to see you too. You can head to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

Joonghyuk sighs and stands, folding the blanket before setting it in the couch. The shirt she wears hangs above her waist and rides up revealing her toned stomach. The logo folds along her chest and she clearly isn’t wearing a bra. Dokja’s mouth runs dry and she’s grateful the darkness hides her blush. Sleepy Joonghyuk with messy hair and a shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination is short-circuiting her brain. Dokja has work tomorrow, and Joonghyuk won’t let her do anything before eating. She looks at the logo again because the shirt looks familiar! Not for any other reason.

Actually, the logo is familiar.

“Is that my shirt?” It’s an old tee from her university.

“Eat your dinner.” Joonghyuk gives her a sleepy glare before leaving.

***

Dokja steps out of the shower, towel wrapped tight as she dries off. Joonghyuk has a stream tonight, so she resolves herself to catching up on her to-read list. Joonghyuk gets in “the zone,”even for chill gaming, and Dokja knows not to disturb her. She puts on her favorite socks, and digs around for her comfiest hoodie, the one with a hyper-realistic squid that Jihye claims looks like her. Dokja left it on her side of the bed, but it’s gone.

“Again?” This is getting out of hand. Joonghyuk is five inches taller and more muscular. She’s going to stretch out her clothes. Dokja walks over to Joonghyuk’s office/game room and knocks.

“Come in.”

Joonghyuk is still setting up for the stream. The cat ear headphones Sooyoung bought her are slung around her neck and she’s wearing Dokja’s squid hoodie.

“I already made you a snack or are you in another comment war?” She fiddles with her glasses.

Dokja almost smiles, but she can’t get distracted. She takes a small breath.

“Joonghyuk-ah, why do you keep stealing my clothes?”

“Why are you asking dumb questions?”

Dokja steps closer. Joonghyuk only gets defensive when she’s close to figuring out a secret. Her aura is screaming danger, and what else can Dokja do besides push?

“That’s not an answer, uri gangaji.”

Joonghyuk hunches as the tips of her ears turn pink. She pretends to clean her glasses.

Dokja cups her face and gives Joonghyuk her best puppy dog eyes look.

Joonghyuk sighs. “It…”

“Hm?”

“I like that it smells like you. It helps my anxiety.” Joonghyuk is fully blushing and she looks to the side.

Dokja fights the smile threatening to overtake her face. There are some nights where Joonghyuk holds her like a lifeline. Days where a sudden noise can set her on edge. “Okay then, but I can’t have you stealing my stuff. I’ll start taking some of yours.”

Joonghyuk looks back. “Fine.” She bends down and hugs Dokja.

“Now get out. You’re a distraction.”

[aether-staza]

중독 | Joongdok GFs again inspired by that gorgeous CN reincarnation, GL make-up commercial 😭💕💕💕

Inspired by these screenshots~ 😳👌💕💕💕

[porcelaintoybox23]

I’m quite confused about fandom’s tendency toward non-reversible positions in mlm ships. Why? I can understand a preference, but a lot of people are like physically repulsed by the thought of their ship switching.

Maybe I’m letting the ORV fandom be a stat instead of an outlier, but people are very weird about it. I’m generally a switch with all my ships, so that could be why I’m lost. I was looking through the ORVintro hashtag and someone literally wrote “ew” about Dokjoong/Joongdok being reversible. I’ve dubbed myself CEO of tumblr’s Dokjoong tag, but a lot of that fervor is because the fandom sees Dokja as this “uwu twink” that gets railed, which feels a little ooc to me.

I guess something about it feels heteronormative. The smaller man is dubbed more fem, submissive, and is always the bottom. The bigger guy is more masc, aggressive, dominant and tops. It’s hard not to see a reconstruction of binary gender roles. I instinctively have an issue with this because I’m a very small cis woman. Femininity = weakness and submission is a concept that makes my skin crawl. When I was into the MCU, I had to dig to find Tony ship fics where he wasn’t made more effeminate than canon and wasn’t the bottom or sub.

I know if this gets some traction someone will say that I’m policing ships. I’m literally discussing my own confusion and perceptions. It just weirds me out a little and that makes me want to ask about this to challenge my view. I could just have a weird bias that needs to be worked out. Yes, I am being the change I wish to see but it’s a lonely battle.

Also, because I don’t want to make this a separate post, If we’re doing mpr*g with our resident idiots, wouldn’t that make more sense with Joonghyuk? He literally becomes a woman in canon. Yes, I am peddling non-binary, genderfluid Joonghyuk.

Edit: I’m not really inquiring anymore, I have a stance on it. If you attack someone bc they use any variant of a ship name not restricted to sexual positions get a life. If you see red because someone tagged the reverse name on a post to their own blog, get a life. If you’re trying to police how people tag things, don’t post things online. Not everyone speaks your language and not everyone reads your bio or dni or whatever else. If others want to use this post for discussion, have at it. I’m done with it

[marisramblings]

Berserk

Fem!dokjoong/joongdok, yoohankim if you squint. Battle couples ⚔️ and angst

Joonghyuk throws Dokja behind her before the full brunt of the explosion hits the room. Joonghyuk stills stands when the smoke clears, but her sword clatters to the ground. Her knees buckle and Dokja barely catches her as she collapses.

No, this can’t be happening. Joonghyuk isn’t a person who falls, she stands back up and continues fighting. She doesn’t lie as still as stone. Her face doesn’t pale as blood runs in steady rivulets through Dokja’s fingers.

She knows that’s not true. Dokja has seen Joonghyuk be defeated thousands of times, body destroyed, muscles cut, but the star stream is weakened. No dokkaebi bag nor magic healing. Lee Seolhwa is in another country for a conference. Joonghyuk could die here, permanently.

“Joonghyuk—Joonghyuk!”

Dokja leans down. There’s no sound except for her thin breaths. She tears her sleeves into strips and staunches the bleeding as best she can. Joonghyuk doesn’t even flinch at the pressure.

How did this even happen? They saved the world, and people resort to terrorism? Was 20 years enough to erase the scenarios?

Their attackers burst into the room and surround them. They’re armed to the teeth. Is this how they die? This industrial complex is their home and now there are craters and burned bodies.

[‘Demon King Transformation’ is activating!]

“After all we sacrificed—“ Dokja feels her body expand, the discordant power of absolute good and evil courses through her veins. “All the pain we suffered through—“

The air shifts as her six wings, three black and three white, unfurl behind her back. Her vision sharpens and she can see the fear in the attackers’ eyes, see their pupils shrink with adrenaline.

“All of that shit, and you have the nerve to try and take her from me!”

Her voice cracks like thunder, it fills the room with a roar and the walls shake.

Dokja cradles Joonghyuk’s body close to her chest, guarding her with her lower wings.

Shots ring out, but the bullets bounce off her feathers.

[Exclusive skill, ‘Electrification’ Lv. 10 has been initiated]

Electricity dances across her body. The terrorists scramble to escape under cover fire, but debris falls, sealing their exit.

“You can just—”

A hand cups her cheek.

Dokja stops and looks down at Joonghyuk. Her eyes are barely slits and her mouth is stuck in a grimace. The hand shakes before slipping back down.

The skills deactivate. Dokja sighs.

“Get the fuck out.”

***

Sooyoung hands Dokja a cup of coffee. “You should get some sleep. In a proper bed.”

Dokja gives a small smile. “Nah.”

Sooyoung pulls a chair beside her. “Seolhwa said she’ll be fine. It’ll take more than that to kill the bastard. I should know.”

Dokja opts to remain silent and watches Joonghyuk sleep. It’s been a day and half since the terrorist attack. Seolhwa-ssi took the first flight back. Joonghyuk will be fine, she just needs to rest and avoid strenuous exercise for a few weeks.

She woke up once and quickly fell back asleep. Her skin is still pale and her hand is cold. The skin around her eyes is purple and her chest rises and falls weakly. Joonghyuk looks human and that thought hurts Dokja. Will there always be some part of her that sees Joonghyuk as a protagonist? The woman before her isn’t text on a page but real and breathing. She isn’t the hero that kept her alive but her fallible partner.

“Is this what you guys felt?” Terror tinged with sadness. The existential dread of realizing all you hold dear can disappear in an instant.

Dokja can feel Sooyoung look at her. A tense silence falls between them.

“What we felt was worse. We know that Joonghyuk will be fine. She’ll wake up.”

She already apologized to Joonghyuk, but Sooyoung has been a challenge. She sat by her bedside for years, wrote her story, and kept their constellation together through all of their pain. It’s hard not to blame herself. In fact, she does, but Dokja has learned that she can’t repay guilt with sacrifice. Her chest hurts. It took so much for her to realize that she was hurting KimCom instead of helping.

“I’m—”

“If you apologize, I’ll put you in the hospital next.”

Dokja laughs. She sets the cup on the small bedside table and takes Sooyoung and Joonghyuk’s hands. Sooyoung squeezes back.

“Thanks.”

***

This is an anthology of sorts and the series is on my ao3. Only Dokja and Joonghyuk are genderbent/swapped in my AU. There’s no set update schedule, so feel free to shoot me a request in the notes or dm.

[aether-staza]

Some fem Kim Dokja 🦑💕 doodles in between work projects~

I know yjh and kdj probably didn't dress up during the banquet but I can dream, okay?

If you like my art please consider supporting me at KO-FI or Patreon~