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putschki1969 · 6 years ago

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VOICE Tour Live Report Part 2

Hi everyone!

It’s been 84 years...Okay, here is part two of my report. The ACTUAL report so to speak. Just in time for the tour final. I am expecting some news articles to be posted soon. I hope we will get some nice pictures of the Tokyo live. Anyways, sorry to have kept you waiting. Things have been crazy in Japan. There was a lot of stuff that didn’t go according to plan and I never got the chance to write the rest of my report while I was in Japan. And now that I have been back, I have been pretty busy with work >_< Unfortunately, writing reports like this takes A LOT of time because I try to do it as detailed as possible, I wanna do Wakana’s live justice after all. Oh well, I should stop rambling and start with the actual report. Before I focus on the songs I would like to share a few general thoughts.

Seating/audience: As most of you probably know, I attended both the Tokyo as well as the Fukuoka concert of Wakana’s tour. I had amazing seats for both lives. In Tokyo I was seated in the second row and in Fukuoka I had a first-row seat. Both were located right at the center so Wakana was literally in front of me. BANZAI!! The Fukuoka stage wasn’t very high and there was only about 1 ½ metres between the stage and the first row so basically I could have reached out and touched Wakana (not that I would ever do that but you get what I mean XD). It’s the closest I have ever been to her during a concert. I was able to see every micro expression on her face, I looked into her eyes, I waved at her, it felt so good to be noticed. On a more or less related note I wanna add that I felt kinda bad for Wakana because for the Fukuoka live the hall was pretty empty, I think the audience only filled about half of it (if not less - for reference, the main hall has a capacity for about 1,000 people, I think we weren’t even 500 people in the audience). I hear it was the same for her other venues (except the Tokyo live which was quite well visited but even there the upper floor was empty). Lining up for the goods was also completely different. Merchandise sale started very late, about 1 ½ hours before the live and there were hardly any people lining up. It’s really sad to see Wakana getting so little support for her solo activities. I guess lots of YK and Kalafina fans aren’t really interested to follow her. Right now Wakana’s management is making the mistake of still thinking in Kalafina dimensions. Wakana as a solo artist simply can’t fill out halls like Kalafina. Maybe at some point in her career she will be able to but I feel she will have to do a lot of tie-ins to achieve that sort of popularity. Right now it would be smarter to go for slightly smaller (and more classical) venues I think...This way the halls would fill up quickly and it would probably reduce the ticket prices (which in turn would make more people willing to purchase them). I hope for the next tour they will consider making some changes. Wakana deserves to perform at sold out lives.

Band style: Speaking of “more classical” venues, I feel like Wakana would also benefit from a more “classical style/acoustic arrangement”. The band style is a bit overwhelming at times, there were a few songs that would have sounded SO MUCH better with a less band-heavy arrangement, at least in my opinion. In particular the drums and bass guitar felt a little overbearing during some parts of the performance (“Yakusoku no Yoake” and “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” immediately come to mind - the bass was bordering on obnoxious during “Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni” and the drums kinda almost ruined the mystical/translucent atmosphere of “Yakusoku no Yoake”). Don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming the musicians, I think they all did well. The guitarist was particularly dedicated, he switched between e-guitar and acoustic guitar throughout the entire concert, even during songs. There was a staff member that constantly had to run back and forth, I felt kinda bad for him. At any rate, all the musicians were really into it and they were obviously having lots of fun. Unfortunately, most of Wakana’s songs simply aren’t suited to be played by a “standard” band.

Vocals: Wakana’s vocals were great during both concerts. As far as I can tell she hit all of her notes, to me she sounded particularly beautiful in Jidai, Boku no Kokoro no Tokei, Hikari Furu and Ai no Hana. At no point did she seem exhausted, I didn’t notice her getting out of breath and she barely even sweated. Due to the nature of most songs, she didn’t move a lot so she was able to focus fully on her singing. I did notice however that her voice got occasionally drowned by the band. Once in a while she would sing her lines really quietly, not sure why though. Maybe she lacked confidence or she forgot the lyrics. Perhaps she purposefully used a quiet voice and didn’t take into account that the background music and band would be so loud. That’s just a minor complaint though and didn’t really take away from the overall experience.

Production: The stage set up was very simple which I didn’t mind. The decoration consisted of these metal thingies hanging from the ceiling (as seen on the report pictures). The atmosphere was mostly created via the lighting. There was a screen in the back but it was barely used. To be honest, I only really noticed it during “Kaze ni Naritai”. I am sure it was used during other songs but for the life of me, I can’t remember. There was no choreography or anything. Wakana just did what she felt like doing. Some swaying here, some arm gesture there. A bit of walking across the stage during the more up-beat songs. The outfits were obviously chosen by Wakana herself. You could tell she felt very comfortable in them. She also opted for flat sandals. It’s details like that which made the lives feel very real and intimate.

MCs: Wakana was quite nervous during her MCs (especially at her Tokyo live which was filmed). At times she was a bit awkward and didn’t really know what to say. She even admitted to feel a little uncomfortable since this is the first time in her solo career to have so many cameras around. She definitely talked a lot more at the Tokyo live but I am not sure if all of that is gonna make it onto the DVD/BD (I hope so though!). During her Fukuoka live she was far more relaxed and towards the end you could tell that she didn’t mind the MCs at all. She was able to talk freely at that point. Either way, at both lives she managed to work her way through the MCs. The audience was very supportive and found her little awkwardness quite precious. I mean, how could you not find her cute?

Tokyo or Fukuoka? Overall, I thought the Fukuoka live was much better than the concert in Tokyo. Wakana was more relaxed and I guess she didn’t feel as pressured since there were no cameras. She cried at the end when she said her final goodbye. It was so sweet. Also, the acoustics were a lot better at the Fukuoka Convention Center, at least it sounded that way for me. The band wasn’t so loud and Wakana’s microphone was quite well-balanced which really cannot be said for the Tokyo live (but as I mentioned in my previous post, I think it will be easy to fix with a bit of studio magic, the video release should sound fine).

Okay, now let’s finally get to the songs...

01.約束の夜明け | Yakusoku no Yoake Wakana came on stage wearing the orange/salmon-coloured dress and flat white Roman-style sandals. The lights weren’t doing her arms any favours to be honest but aside from that she looked gorgeous. The colour of the dress really accentuated her skin tone. Her hair was made up in an elaborate ponytail with lots of braids. For this song there was some sort of see-through screen similar to the one used for Koibito no Mukashigatari no Yūgure no during Kalafina’s FOTW tour. The song started with a short intro/overture that sounded very epic. I think they should have added that part to the studio version (since that one starts rather abruptly). As mentioned in my quick overall review, everything was quite loud during this song (more so during the Tokyo live than the one in Fukuoka). I didn’t really like how the band sounded, to me it felt rather overwhelming. I think something different is needed for an almost ethereal song like that. Maybe some strings or a flute...Sometimes a little less is more. On top of that, Wakana’s singing was quite loud to compensate the sound of the instruments so that didn’t exactly make it better. Wakana did a little “oohhhh-ing” for the rather long instrumental section that starts around 2:40 minutes. It’s also noticeable in the studio version if you listen closely but it’s barely there. For the live version Wakana is doing some proper “ooohh-ing”, it sounded really nice. I expected to REALLY love this song since it’s among my album faves but unfortunately the loudness and arrangement made it very hard for me to fully appreciate the performance. It wasn’t bad or anything but I also wasn’t blown away. I guess you could say it was a little underwhelming...

02.流れ星 | Nagareboshi A straightforward performance. Sounded pretty much exactly like the studio version. For me this song is ranked pretty low as far as the album tracks are concerned. I had hoped Wakana’s live performance would make me appreciate the song more but I still feel the same way about it. I mean, I don’t dislike it or anything, I just don’t enjoy it as much as most of the other album tracks. It just doesn’t click with me if that makes sense. At the end of the performance we get a small highlight. Wakana went up to her little table and picked up a couple of instruments. First she used the tingsha to create some sort of “bling” sound. Then she took the big rainstick and slowly moved it upside down to create the sound of rain. Honestly, I can’t wait for you to see her face on the video release, I hope they caught her expressions on camera, she looked so happy playing those instruments. Like a little child that got to play with her favourite toy.

MC: I don’t have much memory of the MCs tbh (or rather, I don’t remember what was being said in which MC because there were SO MANY) but I think she talked about her album release here and how she wants people to listen to her as an individual, she wants people to focus on her as a human being, this tour is only about her and her voice (which is also why the tour title is “VOICE”). This is also where she talked about the weather I think. How she tends to be really unlucky and wherever she goes she brings rain with her. During her first few tour lives the weather was always really nice but unfortunately it rained a lot on the day of her Tokyo live. It did however stop raining towards the late afternoon. The weather wasn’t exactly nice but at least we managed to stay dry. It was super hot and sunny for Wakana’s Fukuoka live. Maybe she mentioned the cameras here too or it might have been in a later MC...? Anyways, she confirmed that we would get a home video release for this concert.

03.瑠璃色の空 | Ruriiro no Sora This is probably my least favourite song of the album, it’s just not my cup of tea. As a result, the performance didn’t really stand out to me and I don’t have much to say about it.. However, for those who like the song I think you will like the live performance because Wakana sounded really good. No complaints.

04.Hard Rain This is where the concert really picked up for me. It was the first up-beat song of the live and I generally enjoyed the performance. In the beginning when I first listened to the album I wasn’t sure whether or not I liked “Hard Rain”, both “Ruriiro no Sora” and “Hard Rain” have a similar vibe, they almost sound “jazz-y” to me and honestly, jazz is a genre I don’t enjoy at all. But unlike “Ruriiro no Sora” “Hard Rain” managed to win me over. The studio version is really nice but the live version is so much better. Wakana delivered a lovely performance, her stage presence was great. During the chorus she kept walking from one end of the stage to the other, flapping her multi-layered skirt. She came right to the edge of the stage so I felt really close to her.The “paya-paya” part at the end of the song was lip-synched to some extent. Or at least they had a very loud track playing in the background. The last few “paya-payas” she sang herself.

MC: I think in this MC Wakana talks about the privilege of working together with so many different and talented composers/songwriters. She feels honoured that all these beautiful songs were made for her. She learned a lot, she got to meet lots of amazing people, she got a lot more involved in the creative process. The next song was composed and written by Yūko Andō, Wakana is particularly smitten by this piece because it’s so powerful, it’s a showcase of female strength.

05.記憶の人 | Kioku no Hito In my opinion Wakana’s live performance far exceeded the studio version. Those who already love the studio version will fall in love even more with the song once they watch the live. At least that’s what happened to me. There was so much emotion in her voice. She sounded beautiful. THIS is the kind of singing style I enjoy most from Wakana, it’s this kind of song where she gets to shine. The previous songs lacked this particular charm (at least it felt that way to me). Don’t get me wrong, they were all solid performances but there are distinctive aspects of Wakana’s voice that I originally fell in love with and that aren’t really all that present in the above mentioned songs (because they are a different style to what Wakana usually sings). Does this make sense? The band thankfully held back here, the arrangement was very simple, no excessive use of drums, e-guitar or bass.

06.時の音 | Toki no Ne Just like with “Kioku no Hito” this song was much more impressive being performed live (as impressive as a slow ballad like that can get :P). While listening to the album I usually neglected this track because I didn’t really care for it all that much. However, Wakana’s nuanced performance really moved me. There was something in her voice that struck my heart, it’s hard to explain. Once again the band held back for which I was very grateful. An understated piece like this sounds best with a simple arrangement.

MC: I think this might have been the MC where she talked about the sky and taking lots of pictures. She loves watching the sky, the sun and the trees. How the position of the sun changes the entire scenery, how the strength of the wind puts everything in motion. She wants everyone to get a feel for the summer wind so for her cover corner she chose the song “Kaze ni Naritai” as intro. She thinks it’s a perfect song for the season.

07.風になりたい | Kaze ni Naritai ❇Cover (original by THE BOOM) Probably the most quirky and laid back performance of the night. A feel-good song if there ever was one. Everyone had a blast. Wakana was so hyper and she was dancing around like a little girl. She got the audience to clap along, it was a ton of fun. I didn’t expect to like this song so much because I wasn’t really impressed with the original when I listened to it on youtube but boy, Wakana truly worked her magic, I was mesmerised, it felt like we were all at the beach. Throughout the song she used a small rattle and let me tell you, she took the shaking seriously. Can’t wait for everyone to watch this performance on DVD/BD.Vocally this song wasn’t outstanding or anything, it was just about having fun.

MC: Next up she talks about how there are so many artists she admires and she decided early on that she wanted to sing some of their songs during her lives. Last year during her autumn tour she already sang a song by Spitz (they are among her favourite bands) so for this tour she KNEW that she wanted to sing another Spitz song. This time she chose Hotaru which is one of her all-time favourite songs.

08.ホタル | Hotaru ❇Cover (original by Spitz) Ever since Wakana had mentioned in an interview that she would love to sing this song together with the lead singer of Spitz one day, I have been in love with it. I watched the original on Youtube and was immediately smitten by Masamune Kusano’s voice. Wakana uses a very similar style to sing the song, it’s very intense and soulful. The arrangement is also pretty much the same. Just imagine the original being sung by Wakana and you will know what to expect.

MC: This MC was pretty long and quite different at the Tokyo and Fukuoka live, I fear I might mix up things a little. Here she talks a lot about loving Miyuki Nakajima. Last time she sang “Ito” and this time she is gonna sing “Jidai”, a song that has left a huge impression on her. She used to sing it as a young girl but back then she didn’t understand the meaning of the lyrics (find the English lyrics HERE). She just sang it because she liked the melody. As she became older, the lyrics gradually started to make sense and now it’s so much more powerful. Wakana says that as time goes by so many things happen, everything changes, steadily we learn to love new things, we say goodbye to old things. At the Tokyo live she tried to recite a part of the lyrics but for some reason she couldn’t remember the lines in the heat of the moment. She was standing there, flustered, trying to remember the lines. Not a single word came out of her mouth though. She looked at the ceiling looking for a hint but obviously there was none, the pianist even started playing a few tones so Wakana would remember but nope, it didn’t happen. Eventually Wakana gave up and just decided to sing the song. I hope they keep that part in the DVD/BD.

09.時代 | Jidai ❇Cover (orignal by Miyuki Nakajima) Absolutely breathtaking, I LOVE this song so much, I understand why Wakana is such a big fan of it. And really, Wakana sings it perfectly. This is the kind of song that was MADE for her. It was a very emotional performance for everyone because we all had to think of Kalafina parting ways and Wakana taking a new path.

10.水の証 | Mizu no Akashi I was so happy to hear her perform this live since it’s literally one of her oldest songs. I have never attended a YK live so last year during Wakana’s symphony concert, I got to listen to it for the first time. I was mesmerised back then and I was just as charmed this time around. I feel like Wakana is getting better and better at performing this song. She literally sounded like old-school Wakana. After the song had ended, Wakana took a small bow and walked off. Since the music was still playing there was no applause.

～ Mizu no Akashi inst ～ (dress change): The instrumental started out quite slow and quiet. Steadily it became more up-beat and epic, basically like one of YK’s typical instrumental pieces. I liked it quite a bit but I wasn’t blown away. Not sure if Satoshi Takebe arranged this or if the musicians improvised, either way, it was a nice little transition. They then played a little intro for Tsubasa that reminded me a lot of the beginning of “the battle is to the strong”. That was pretty epic. Wakana came on stage wearing her heavily patterned dress. I personally liked it a lot because the cut of this dress was much more flattering than the previous one. Plus, we got some Waka-collarbones and in my book that’s always a bonus.

11.翼 | Tsubasa I am really sad that Wakana doesn’t perform the song like she did on the music program Bokura no Ongaku (CLICK ME). That rendition had so much edge, she was literally growling some of her lines. Something we have never really seen from her before and certainly a welcome change. Ahhh, that was such a powerful performance. Alas, for this tour Wakana has decided to sing the song in a manner that’s quite similar to the studio version (comparable to the version we got from the Odaiba Venus Fort release event). Wakana does well, she sounds good, there’s no doubt that it is a great performance BUT there is a lack of “oomph” if you know what I mean. Her expressions and gestures also aren’t as passionate as they were in that music show. But hey, it’s fine. Perfectly enjoyable performance.

MC: There was a short MC where she talked about wanting to enjoy the following song together with the audience. Once again she invited us to clap along. a few people got up from their seats.

12.君だけのステージ | Kimi Dake no Stage WOW!! Wakana was glowing in this one, the song radiates so much happiness. She had a smile on her face the entire time. I can’t remember the melody of the song but the chorus is super uplifting and cheerful. I hope we will get a single release in the future. I can understand why it’s not on the album though, it’s too up-beat I think, it wouldn’t have fit the overall vibe XD

MC: This is when the band introduction happened...I wonder if this was also where she asked the audience members about where they came from. At one point she asked everyone from Tokyo to raise their hand, then everyone who came to the live from another part of the country. And finally she asked everyone from overseas to raise their hand. OF COURSE I was raising my hand as fast as I could. I am kinda sad that she didn’t ask the same question at the Fukuoka live T_T

13.むすんでひらく | Musunde Hiraku Solid performance, perfect continuation of “Kimi Dake no Stage”. If I am not mistaken I think she struggled a bit with some of her notes...probably because of the faster tempo...Almost everyone stood up for this song and did the typical Kalafina hand/arm gesture. Not sure what to think of that actually. It’s like no one was invested in the live until she started singing a Kalafina song. Wakana had tried really hard to engage the audience during Kaze ni Naritai and Kimi Dake no Stage but you could tell people were holding back (for whatever reason). With the first note of “Musunde Hiraku” everyone literally jumped out of their seat. Kinda disrespectful if you ask me...maybe that’s just me reading too much into it but it didn’t sit well with me...

MC (Satoshi Takebe joins Wakana on stage): This part and the following two songs were Tokyo-exclusive. Wakana asked everyone to take a seat again and introduced Satoshi Takebe. She talked a bit about him being the producer of her previous and current tour, about him being awfully busy (they didn’t even have time to rehearse together!). He then says a few nice things about Wakana and apologises for talking too much. Wakana tells him it’s totally fine, she has been talking all evening and is happy someone else is taking over. She was like, “please keep talking so I don’t have to talk!” XD Satoshi Takebe explains that they decided to perform two songs together, the first one being a song that Wakana has always wanted to sing at a concert, she has been singing it so often at karaoke. The second one being a song Satoshi Takebe has always wanted to try and play.

14. ハナミズキ | Hanamizuki ❇Cover (original by Yō Hitoto) Sorry, can’t say anything about this. I hadn’t known that song prior to this performance and tbh, it didn’t really stand out. I thought it was quite boring tbh…But maybe that’s just me being overly-critical and me not having read the lyrics. I am always having a hard time judging songs that I have only listened to once. I am not able to take in everything the first time. Plus, at that point I was fighting a battle with exhaustion. I had arrived in Japan that morning and didn’t get any sleep on the plane. I kinda wish she would have sung this in Fukuoka too because there I would have been able to appreciate it more. I have basically no memory of it so it’s hard for me to write a proper review. Wakana definitely sounded good but I don’t think it was a very challenging song...or maybe it was? Ughhh, sorry, I fail...

15. oblivious I have never been a big fan of “oblivious” to begin with and this new arrangement doesn’t really do anything to improve my opinion of it. Wakana performed a similar version during her symphony concert, it’s just a bit more up-beat now. They pretty much removed all the “oooohh-ing” parts so Wakana is only singing the verses and chorus. Just at the very end Wakana is doing a bit of “oooh-ing” but she chose to do it with a very thin and breathy voice. Not sure why because she could have definitely sung it with a fuller and more “operatic” voice. Personally I feel like without the operatic style “ooooh-ing” the song isn’t all that special. I guess you will all have to judge for yourself. Those who love “oblivious” might find something to like here too.

MC: Here she talks about time and clocks, pretty much the same thing she has been talking about in many of her interview. Time is the theme of quite a lot of her album tracks, she is generally very fascinated by time.

16.僕の心の時計 | Boku no Kokoro no Tokei A touching performance. One of my favourites actually, didn’t expect to like it so much. Her vocals were lovely here, especially towards the end. Can’t really say anything else about it.

17.時を越える夜に | Toki wo Koeru Yoru ni Unlike most people, I have loved this song from the get-go. I think it’s a beautiful ballad and I could listen to it all day. BUT the band really ruined this performance for me. Okay, maybe “ruined” isn’t the right word, there was still some enjoyment to be found, Wakana’s vocals were on point after all but it just wasn’t what I had hoped for. As I mentioned at the beginning of this report, the bass was super obnoxious during the chorus. It was totally out of place. I hope they can work some studio magic to make it sound better on DVD/BD. Or maybe it was just my personal perception and other people liked it...???

MC: Wakana says that this is the final song of her concert *fake news XD* and thanks everyone for coming.

18.金木犀 | Kinmokusei Ahhhh! A beautiful and solid performance, nothing more to say about it. I was already smitten with the studio version so Wakana didn’t really have to do anything to convince me to fall in love with the live version.

~EN ~ Wakana left the stage and people started doing the usual clapping for an encore. They didn’t do the typical “encore” chanting. The band returned and the pianist started to play with a sort of organ setting. It sounded very epic. Wakana comes on stage wearing her album cover dress. The sleeves were altered slightly, instead of long sleeves she now has the fabric flow freely around her arms. It’s a very good look on her, she literally looks like an angel. She has some accessories in her hair that look a lot like the ones she used for the 10th Anniversary Live.

19.ひかりふる | Hikari Furu I think this performance will be quite polarising. Some will love it, others will hate it. Personally, I really loved it because Wakana sounded great. Yes, Keiko and Hikaru are missed dearly and a couple of their essential lines (e.g. “hikari no naka”) were left out but nonetheless, Wakana did an amazing job (especially during the climax). As I mentioned before, the song starts with some sort of organ-style playing by the piano and Wakana’s angelic singing. As the song progresses the other instruments join in, the arrangement sounds quite dramatic. For some reason I was reminded of Queen’s music (probably because I had just watched the movie Bohemian Rhapsody on the plane). Wakana sings as many of Keiko’s and Hikaru’s lines as possible and she really does them justice. She doesn’t necessarily try to imitate their singing style, her “mabushii asa” for example sounds totally different than Keiko’s. Overall I am very happy that she decided to sing this song, it was definitely one of the highlights of this live. I guess everyone has to decide for themselves whether or not they like this new arrangement.

MC: Here Wakana talks about the final song of her album. During the Tokyo live she explains that this song is very special because it showcases the power of lyrics. The melody is cute and playful but that’s actually quite misleading because the topic of the song is profound and sad. She also mentions that the song was composed by Shusui and another Swedish composer who she had first met more than a decade ago when she was still in her teens.I think she might have only sad that at the Fukuoka live, not sure o.O

20.愛��花 | Ai no Hana Hands down my favourite song of the album and probably my favourite performance of those two nights. I don’t know what it is about this song but I am just so freaking in love with it. I guess it’s just like Wakana said in the MC, the juxtaposition of the sweet melody and the tragic lyrics makes “Ai no Hana” so precious. There are so many emotions combined in this song. Tragedy, sadness, joy and hope, they all come together to create a beautiful song. Wakana sounds like an angel, especially after the second chorus when she does her “ooohhh-ing”. The live version is SO MUCH better than the studio version. Her high notes are gorgeous. The end of the song is also improved quite a bit because it doesn’t end so abruptly after the final chorus. The chorus is repeated a second time (starting from “kōri mo tokasu ai no hana) which adds a lovely climax.

MC: Wakana thanks everyone and once again introduces the band members. One by one they start leaving the stage until only the pianist is left. Wakana says that she wants to sing one final song accompanied by just the piano. The song is written by Satoshi Takebe and it means a lot to her. The past year has been filled with lots of emotions, there has been sadness, pain and joy, she has made so many new experiences, she has worked really hard on writing all these lyrics. Every time she stands on stage she knows it’s all worth it. She was born to sing, she wants to keep on singing, she wants to deliver her songs to an audience. She has put all these feelings into the lyrics of the next song.

21.あとひとつ | Ato Hitotsu So simple and yet so beautiful. I think for most of you who are not really fans of slow ballads the song will be too boring. For me personally, it was love at first listen. The melody of the chorus is still stuck in my head. I wonder if we'll ever get a release for this song. I really hope so! It would go perfectly with “Kimi Dake no Stage” - topic wise I mean. And it would make a lovely B-side. This is just about Wakana declaring her love for singing and performing, about being herself, about treasuring the moment, about following her dreams. I don’t remember everything but the lyrics are so sweet, I honestly couldn’t help but cry.

Final greeting: Wakana walked from side to side saying a few parting words. In Fukuoka she started crying, it was so precious. First she only teared up a little but then she kept talking and the tears were just flowing down her face. She didn’t really say anything special, just the usual stuff (so happy to be back home, to be welcomed so warmy, etc). She can’t wait to be back, there will be many more tours (she made it sound like another tour was already in the making, there was no official announcement though).

#kalafina #wakana #report #live report #wakana live tour 2019 voice #tokyo #fukuoka #long text post

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viampythonissam · 6 years ago

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Intro, continued...

It was then I became obsessed with death and the occult, desperately trying to make contact with my grandfather through anything possible. Being clairaudient, I was expecting to hear a message from my grandfather all throughtout the whole funeral and mourning period, but to no avail. So in my desparation, I went into research, and stumbled upon things such as the ouija, seances, and many more. I even considered dabbling into necromancy, just in order to hear from him again. His death broke me so much that I was for the most time wishing I were dead too. I had suicidal thoughts but somehow something has prevented me from attempting. It could be I'm too chicken to hurt myself (getting hurt by other things besides self-infliction doesn't scare me though) or the thought of my mother crying over my dead body is another thing that would crush my heart.

I started questioning my religious beliefs then. We were Roman Catholics, and we go to church, but not too often. I am very religious though when I was a child, having been schooled in a private Catholic school, and I know all the prayers by heart; but it all changed. I felt resentment for praying so hard but never getting answered. That everything happens for a reason. A reason still so vague to me to this day, which I continue to believe was the same reason of the breaking apart of this family and eventual downfall. The family is in ruins, and the family home is crumbling apart. My father's only brother, my uncle Aldrin, died a little over two years after my grandfather; and his widow and only child, my cousin, was estranged ever since then, because of inheritance issues. My father decided to sell the house, my childhood home because of this; splitting the family fortune already so that we can all go off our separate ways and stop the bickering. The only thing that's keeping him from doing so is my grandmother who is still so attached to the house built by my grandfather.

At 16, I eventually traversed my way into the craft, dabbling on it. There was a kind of pull into these mystics that appealed to someone like me. Was it power? Was it danger? Mystery, perhaps? Or maybe I just got all too familiar with the unknown for me to be comfortable chasing after it? This craft, shunned by my faith since the dawn of time and even killed tons of people because of it, felt like home to me; learning it felt like retracing my steps back from where I came from. There was a sense of calm, relief, and freedom learning the ways of the earth, elements, and spirits and those who came before. Its unrestrictive nature was a stark contrast to the repressive and dominating teachings of the Catholic scriptures. Wherein Christianity demands a million things to do and not to do to save your soul, the craft only ever wanted you to do anything you want, just as long you harm none, even yourself. I have a lot of arguments to make against my old faith, that's why I consider myself an agnostic in all fairness. That's a topic for another day.

When I got to college at 17, I applied for nursing school under my father's wishes. It was in my misfortune to be enrolled in a school with a toxic environment of sorts: unhealthy clinic hours, unreasonable school workload, toxic Christian classmates who bombarded me everyday with bible verses and inviting me to join Sunday worship thingies. I am very respectful of other's beliefs and opinions but I really have a bone to pick with the Born Agains because upon knowing I am interested in dark movies and occult, they've started telling me that the Devil has a grip on my soul and that I should stop it so that my soul can be saved. They're even worse than the Mormons and Witnesses who knock on your door at certain days. I'd just ignore it and they'll go but BAs will stop at nothing to guiltify me of being possessed and that I need deliverance. It was also the time my parents went to Australia for work because of the failing finances due to to my late grandfather's hospital expenses, my uncle meeting his untimely demise, and my uncle's greedy widow who already demanded their inheritance even though my grandmother was still alive. My best friends of highschool also attended different schools and pursued different career pathways which left me feeling more isolated and unsure of myself. These issues fed my undiagnosed depression and relapse of suicidal thoughts all throughout my 4 years in nursing school. It was a mix of emotions, a rollercoaster ride of disappointments, achievements, first-time experiences, full independence. All without a proper support system. Nevertheless, I grew wiser while treading the craft, and for the first time since I lost my grandfather, I felt safe and sound and complete.

Then I met my elementary school sweetheart again in my final year and we became a couple. He was a sweet guy, smart and responsible. We had our similarities, our quirks, but we also had differences. I was already quite a learned witch, studying tarot and palmistry as my supposed-to-be expertise, when he told me how he wanted to be baptised as a Born Again (he and his family are Roman Catholics as well). He told me how he was deeply affected by the one time he went to a worship service of his friend's church. This struck a chord in me, a subtle reference to my beliefs. At the time, I have fully believed he is the man I'm gonna settle for, the one I'm gonna marry. He's everything I have hoped for then: he's finished school, on his way to a very decent career on a ship as a marine engineer. He's from a good family as well. Well-mannered, and not to mention that we've got a pretty long history way back when we we're 10 or so. He even made a subtle proposal of a civil marriage before he hops on board the ship. I know it was betrayal of myself, but I love this man so much so, I am ready to submit myself to him.

Worst decision of my life. I started to try and mingle with Christians so I may understand just why I needed to be saved. I joined worship services and sang with them against my own beliefs. I taught myself to be like them just so I could fit in, so that I may have friends. In return, they've burned all my books and tarot decks. Even my Slipknot t-shirt that my grandmother bought me was not spared from the Christian pyre. Said that it's to release me from the grip of the Devil. They even did deliverance to me. For a while I thought I was given a new lease on life and that this is the only right thing to do. I was easily convinced since it was the most trying time of my life so far: I was killing myself reviewing for the nursing licensure exams, my parents are already coming to get us and live away in Australia for good, my bf and I hit rock bottom and broke up (the girl who is the 3rd party confessed to me that they're having an affair, and that she was so guilty she can't sleep at night knowing we are good friends and they're doing this behind my back, also I've noticed red flags about him that made me doubt him a bit. I factored everything and the dots connected like a damn constellation so I've called it quits), and I was caught in an identity crisis because of inner turmoil. Maybe it was a time of personal upheaval and the mix of situations was too much for me to handle. Maybe it was a good thing though that I never got baptised because my life just got much more complicated after that.

So I did pass the licensures, ex and I never got together again, I went to live to Australia, but I never recovered from the inner turmoil thing; which made me spiral down again the depression lane, this time in its dangerous, ugliest and darkest recesses. I was fighting with my parents which I never did before, I was angry all the time. I started drinking then and I was exhausted all the time I just want to sleep. All the activities I've enjoyed before like sketching, playing the piano, afternoon strolls, and cooking for the family, I've totally lost interest in. My health deteriorated and I cut off and isolated myself from my friends overseas, ignoring their messages and emails. I tried to cope up by immersing myself in Christian songs and scriptures but it was not enough. I was still empty and numb. I was like a zombie, waking up just enough not to get late for work, then go home after, eat unhealthily, play video games, chug a bottle or two of beer, surf the net for worthless and trivial things, and sleep very late, like around 3 to 5 am, only to wake up again a few hours later for work. This was a vicious daily cycle that went on for 4 years. The only reprieve I had was my video games, and my sombre playlist, just enough to block the deafening screams of suicidal thoughts and ideations before I go to sleep. There was also a time I was going home from my internship waiting for the train home, that I thought of just jumping on the train tracks to end the struggle and pain. I was more than ready to attempt as I felt braver now. That was the time I lost all fear for death. Hell, I was ready to buy a rope at Bunnings too as well. But at the back of my head, the same sad picture of my mother crying over my dead body stops me from doing such thing. They said the deliverance was supposed to stop these things, but guess what? It was it that brought it back. It was supposed to keep the demons away, but it did the opposite, and felt so trapped in a cage of deceit and lies. I was supposed to be saved, but why did it felt like I was dying?

It was then I pondered over everything that's happened in my life so far. Where did I fall, where did I stand tall, where did I pick myself up? I thought long and hard enough and decided to start off where it began to crumble: back home. Retracing my steps back to Manila, now 25, I found my old stuff in my old room, before things happened. It reminded me of my simple life and my freedom and innocence. Back when I had complete control of my life. Back when I was the master of my fate. I let the people around me convince me that the man from the sky take the wheel, and it damn well crashed. A head-on collision with a destructive force. I decided to go back to my roots, the one where I felt best. And embracing it tighter than ever and promising to never betray it anymore for any reason.

My ex is now preparing to marry his girlfriend of 3 years. We met accidentally and forgave him already. I'm happy for him and that hopefully his happiness continue on. My old friends are still my friends, but there's already a notable gap between which I do not intend to close at all anymore. I do have new friends now and I keep a healthy distance from them whilst making a worthwhile connection. I am now preparing to enter med school in August and become a surgeon someday. The old house is in shambles, and I realized that a house is not a home, but the family that lives in it. I miss my parents and that my family will always come first, but I am happy to be more independent now and live by myself while studying medicine. Things are well between me and my cousin (my late uncle's child) and that I have forgiven his mother already for the hurt and trouble that they caused us. We see each other as he visits me and grandmother here at the old house every 2 months. When BAs, Mormons, and other religions try to do bible study to me, I am now assertive to tell them that I am agnostic and that I am firm in my beliefs. I am now recovering from my self-destructive ways and more optimistic and living healthier. Love is around, but it felt to me that I have lots to undertake first before I commit myself to someone again. I have backlogged so much that my time has to be devoted to the craft, my family and myself first before anything else. I am trying hard to pick up all the pieces and it seems things are finally going back in its right place. And the craft, after all these years, welcomed me back with open arms without any questions, like a mother does to her child. The sun, moon and the stars never shone brighter before, the day I returned home and answered its longing call.

Now. I have to let this off my chest now once and for all. Pleasure. Why is it a sin to pursue whatever makes you happy? Why must you endure pain just so you can be saved? Isn't that a crooked logic? Why must you be averse to your own will just so you get into a good place in the afterlife? I am only human, I am flawed, but it isn't my fault because I was born and created this way. Why must I be punished for something that is natural for me? If being free and happy costs me a one-way ticket to Hell, then I'd best be off. If my witchcraft, which teaches the opposite of your tyrannic religion, is a surefire way to deliver me there, then I'll make sure I will be a remarkable witch and enjoy my lifetime, and be very ecstatic to march down the fiery highway to Hell after I am gone. But I will never again submit myself to a narcissistic, psychopathic religion who has to kill millions of innocent people, and shun and humiliate people who think in contrast, just to justify and preach the existence of their god and its scriptures. My argument does not end with this and I will not back down anymore in defending my faith.

The craft is my world, and nature is my home. I am a daughter of those who came before, of those who are truly enlightened, of those you can never ever kill. I am a witch, and you can never take that away from me again.

*** Sorry for the long post. Thanks for reading, if you did. I hope you had something to take from my story and may it help you with whatever is botheringvor troubling you right now.

May the journey of life be kind to us all. Blessed be! ❤

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kapanbenernya · 7 years ago

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Far Cry 2 -- Toto ft. Ubisoft

It's currently May 2018, and Far Cry 5 has finally hit the shelves. If you want to know about Far Cry 5, let me give you a cheatsheet: it's Far Cry 3. Yes, there's only ONE Far Cry game after Far Cry 3: it's Far Cry 3, but with the sceneries changed and more toys added. That's why I skipped Far Cry 4 after playing the intro for about 5 minutes, because I'm basically replaying Far Cry 3 again. So with that in mind, let's revisit Far Cry before it becomes Far Cry 3

Now, come join me in Africa

The game starts with a Half Life style in-game railroaded cutscene-but-not-really thing where you're forced to sit down and enjoy all the hard work that went into rendering the foliage, the forest fire, and badly animated humans with blank stares. Great for showcasing the Dunia Engine, not so much for replayability. Especially if there's a game-breaking bug like 30 seconds after the game starts proper and there's no way to skip the fucking thing. After a few minutes, you contract malaria and proceed to pass out on the cab like you’ve had too many drinks. You are then saved by the Jackal, a legendary weapons black marketeer you’re supposed to kill. Starting to think we might not be as professional as our CV shows. The Jackal guy decides to spare your life and leaves you to the liberation front shoot-o-rama that’s happening outside. You then pass out again, and one of the liberation fronts pick you up at random. They then give you a stern talking to for killing their boys, and proceed to hire you and give you weapons on the spot.

"This is the guy responsible for killing our boys with a pistol, a machete, and a fever. Let’s give him a rocket launcher when he wakes up”

So the game starts proper after you’re forcefully employed by the local liberation front by virtue of saving your malaria ridden ass

Your first job is to save some guy like you from the rival liberation front. This person then becomes your buddy. Oh yes, there's a buddy system here, with 2 being active at a time. One buddy is your storyline buddy, the other buddy is your saviour buddy. The storyline buddy is your main buddy and will give you a slight variation to the missions. Usually calling you after you accept a mission from the usual guys, and tells you all about how the two of you could've done it better. I would've liked this to affect the story in some way, because there's a "buddy history" system, like an affinity I guess. It tallies how many times you've helped each other and how much they love you. Sadly, I haven't the slightest clue how this system changes the game because my buddy got killed in a normal shootout two missions in and I don't feel like reloading a save just to save her. What happened next is that I was sent to rescue another guy that becomes my replacement buddy. So I guess this system is very important for the game that you have to always have some guy. What bothers me is that there is a limited roster of buddies available, which means you can only have so many of them killed until they're completely gone. So what happens then, when all the guys have died? That is something I'm not interested in finding out.

The gameplay is your standard old timey sandbox shit. Although those words ring hollow since the gameplay has become the blueprint of sandbox games nowadays. Here's how everything goes: go to mission dealer > do the generic mission > acquire currency and/or XP > spend currency and/or XP upgrading yourself > rinse and repeat, probably do the side-missions which are also generic mission thingy. The missions themselves are kinda bland, they're always go to a place and kill/destroy/steal someone/something respectively. Now if I withdrew the title of the game and ask you to guess the game, you can say any sandbox game all the way from Assassin's Creed to Mafia III, and you'd still be fucking correct. I have to admit the newer ones have polished the elements through and through, but of course there's still only so much that polishing can do.

Perhaps my biggest complaint is that there’s no feeling of progress. The missions are so random and disconnected, it just feels like you're messing around and making money instead of tracking down the guy you're supposed to kill. Why are we doing missions for this liberation front instead of searching for the Jackal? Okay, granted, they DID save our ass on that shootout, but they're the motherfuckers who might've shot us in the first place. But how do you make sense of the fact that after we're done with those guys, we went out of our way to do missions for THE OTHER front? The one that rivals the first front? After seeing this, I decided to drop the game. It has nothing more to offer but generic missions, tedious commute, annoying checkpoint shootouts, and boredom. They do have meaningful events that happen, but everything in between is just making do with smashing puppets with guns and explosions until the next event comes along.

Now let's compare that to the current state of Far Cry games (And by that, I mean let's compare it to Far Cry 3)

In Far Cry 3, your protagonist is set, he's Jason Brody. His story is that he's a rich douchebag in a douchebag circle of friends and they went on a holiday to the tropical island that just so happens to be where the local pirates make a living.

Should've stick to Starbucks next time, eh lads?

They of course got captured, and Jason's brother get killed. This certainly gives Jason the motivation and incentive to fight back, which is to avenge his brother and rescue his douchebag friends. You see, this is called theming. It's about knowing what the goal of the game is and knowing that all the things you do is building up for that goal. You don't learn the multi-stab just to get sick-ass tattoos, you learn it so you can smack the pirates harder. You don't climb radio towers to check off a side quest, you do it because it unlocks new guns to riddle new bullet holes into your enemies. You don't fight a giant ink monster just for the promise of tribal titties, you do it for... uhm...

Actually on second thought...

My point is, the way the game is designed gives Far Cry 3 a great sense of progress and growth. You feel how you, the protagonist grow from douchebag doughboy to a ruthless killer with sick-ass tattoos. This is what in my opinion, Far Cry 2 lacks. You are always a badass mercenary from the get-go, and you don’t have any more motivation but the promise of money to go on. And that shit’s flimsy compared to Far Cry 3, isn’t it?

In Brief

I’ll be the first to admit that Far Cry 2 is fun. The gameplay is very much stellar. It’s become the pioneer’s blueprint for the gameplay of Far Cry games to come. Sure it lacks polish, but it’s good. But apparently not good enough that I eventually stopped giving a shit about it because the important sense of progress is just absent. And while it could be a trivial thing in some games, I believe it is important for a game as huge and expansive as Far Cry 2. After all, it’s the glue that holds the whole experience together, Without it, you’re just randomly setting things on fire and dying from malaria.

With all the slamming I give Far Cry 3, it’s still my favorite of the series, and the only one I have played from start to finish. It made clearing checkpoints and killing baddies fun while also gets you invested enough to make you want to do so. And what about Far Cry 5? Well I told you in the beginning, it's just Far Cry 3 in rural America. Wait, there's fishing in this game? All bets are off lads, I'm going in.

24/5/2018

#far cry 2 #pc games #ps3 #xbox 360 #steam

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