Chapter 12: Do You Wanna Build a PC?
The apartment building stretched intimidatingly into the sky before Jess, as she stared at its glass-paneled walls in awe. Even idling in the upper parts of town felt… well, wrong, given her status as a lowly bartender, dressed in a simple tank top and jeans as she was.
Figuring she’d hesitated long enough, she pushed through the revolving doors, eyes widening at what greeted her inside. A massive, open lobby, a fountain decorating the center with what felt like entirely too many guards standing around - primarily Au Ra men, dressed in suits with dark sunglasses blocking their eyes. Had she entered an apartment building, or a bank?
“Excuse me?” A call echoed through the otherwise-empty room; a Midlander man stared expectantly at the out-of-place woman from his seat behind a desk. “Do you have business at Takechi Towers?”
“I, um- Yes!” Jess fought the urge to turn tail and run, quickly fishing her tomephone out of her pocket against her better judgment and pulling up her messages. “I’m here to see a Varrus Varlineau, Apartment 12A?”
The receptionist seemed satisfied with that answer, giving a nod to one of the guards beside the elevator, before motioning the Highlander over.
“Have a good day, miss.”
With that, she was ushered onto the elevator, where yet another Au Ra awaited, wordlessly pressing the button for floor 12.
The ride was… well, unbelievably awkward, to say the least, Jess doing her best not to stare at the man as he looked unflinchingly straight ahead. Part of her wondered if she was about to step off the elevator into a kidnapping plot… And, for as little as she knew of Cirdan… It didn’t seem implausible.
Which did little to explain why a goofy, seemingly-kind-hearted man like Varrus would associate with him.
They arrived after what felt like an eternity, the elevator operator uttering not a single word, leaving the woman to step off on her own. There were only two doors on the floor: one labeled 12A and another ‘roof access.’ Her steps echoed unsettlingly as she strode down the short, tiled hallway to the solid metal door, noting the several deadbolts visible from her side.
Deadbolts? Were they so necessary, with all the security even preventing her from getting up to the top floor in the first place? Just what kind of apartment complex was this?
Glancing back over her shoulder, she found the elevator gone, and her chances of escape along with. And so, fighting her nervousness, she reached up and tapped the knocker against the steel, a ting ting ting breaking the silence of the building. She didn’t even hear the footsteps from inside; had she not heard the deadbolts sliding, she’d have thought that perhaps she got the wrong day, or time, that no one was home…
Instead, the door swung open, revealing the smiling face of a familiar Elezen, instantly calming her nerves - until she remembered he was still a complete stranger to her. One whose super-secured apartment she was about to enter.
“Glad you made it,” he greeted, opening the door wide, his invitation clear. And what she saw as she stepped inside sent her jaw dropping to the floor. A wall of windows lined one side of the open living area, affording a view over all of Carteneau and the flats beyond illuminating the kitchen - a kitchen she could only ever dream of, with professional, state-of-the-art cooking equipment, a full gas stove, two built-in ovens and a fridge larger than her bed. And the living room in between boasted the largest TV she’d ever seen, mounted into the wall, with two plush leather couches and… not much else.
Decorating was, as far as Jess could tell, not the men’s strong suit.
A spiral staircase sat off to one side, leading to a balcony above, and a host of doors she assumed must have been some manner of bedroom, with a second set of doors on the base floor below. The floor itself was a grey hardwood throughout, the walls pristine white. Clean… Almost too clean.
Not that she cared, in that moment; she unabashedly hurried past Varrus, leaning on the windowsill and practically pressing her face up against the glass.
“Varrus!” she gasped, her wondrous expression reflecting in the crystal-clear windows. “This is amazing!”
“Not bad, huh?” he chuckled; she heard him setting the handful of locks before striding towards her.
“Not bad?!” She shot him a glance over her shoulder. “Varrus, I live in a basement. This is heaven!”
She turned to see him smiling at her, nervously fidgeting with his hands. “Yeah, I, um… It’s Cir’s place, not mine. I just moved in a month or two ago…”
“Ah, that explains the lack of… furnishings.”
“You got me there.” He nervously chuckled. “Well, I’ve got the PC stuff ready in my bedroom, if you’d like to give that a go.”
“Your bedroom?” Her brows furrowed, her worry creeping back in - she’d trusted him thus far, trusted him enough to wander into what felt like a government vault, let him lock her inside on the top floor of the building with no other escapes… Her eyes quickly looked him up and down - he was a good fulm taller than her, and she could see a hint of muscle beneath his buttoned-up shirt and rolled-up sleeves, but, given her training, she felt fairly confident she could take him, if she had need. Now, getting out in a hurry, on the other hand…
“Oh, I- I just-” He must have caught her concern, his own brows furrowing as he bit his lip. “I didn’t mean it like that; my computer desk is in my bedroom, is all, but I could grab everything and move it out here if that’s better for you. To make you more comfortable. I didn’t mean to imply-”
She couldn’t help but cock her head, his words slowly trailing off as a smile grew upon her face - no, his nervous fidgeting and stuttering told her all she’d needed to know.
“You’re fine,” she assured. “I’m sorry for thinking poorly of you.”
“No, I should have-”
“Varrus.” She gently placed a hand upon his arm, silencing him once more. “You’re fine. Now, are you going to take me to your bedroom or not?”
She felt an evil glee rising inside of her as she watched him blush, the very tips of his ears turning a light pink as he cleared his throat.
“Right, it’s… this way.”
She let her hand fall from his arm as he turned, leading her back to one of the doors on the main floor - only for her eyebrows to shoot straight into her hairline. The bedroom was nearly as impressive as the rest of the apartment, a solid wall of floor-to-ceiling window framing the massive bed, a PC with multiple monitors nestled into a corner, a messy, walk-in closet in another, but most importantly was-
“Is that a balcony?!”
Jess didn’t wait for an answer, hurrying past the Elezen and yanking open the sliding glass door. Sure enough, a wide balcony greeted her, a table with two seats situated beside the fanciful railing; she stopped ilms before reaching the edge, hesitantly peeking over before yelping and jumping back, practically colliding with the man behind her.
“Careful,” Varrus snorted. “Would hate to see you fall.”
“You and I both.” Cautiously, she gripped the railing, peering over just as far as she dared before stepping back once more. “I can’t believe you live in a place like this!”
“Most days, neither can I.”
Yet there was one place she hadn’t inspected… perhaps the most important of them all. Manners be damned, she gently brushed past the Elezen, heading towards the door she’d spotted along the wall - and opening it revealed exactly what she thought it would. The bathroom was larger than most bedrooms she’d seen, hosting the same floor-to-ceiling window along the outer wall with a large, open stone shower, a double vanity across from it, beside-
“Is that a jacuzzi?!” Jess couldn’t help but gasp, eyeing the large tub situated into the floor. “Do you mind if I just… live in here? You won’t even notice me, I promise.”
At that, Varrus gave a laugh that echoed off the tiled floor. “It’s… a bit much, yeah. Cir gets a lot more use out of his jacuzzi than I do - and I don’t think I need to explain why.”
“Oh.” The word fell from her lips probably harsher than she’d intended; it seemed Cip was right about his… activities, without her. Though, judging by the photo she’d regrettably seen the previous night… perhaps Cip herself would be getting quite cozy with the Au Ra’s tub in the near future. “Well, I mean, you must get some fun out of it, right?”
“Not… in that way,” Varrus muttered; Jess glanced over her shoulder to find him rubbing the back of his neck.
“Well, that’s a waste,” she snorted. “A place like this and you could convince just about anyone you wanted to spend some quality time with you.” Not that she imagined he needed to work hard to convince anyone, not with his tall, lean build, his thick, wavy hair and warm, golden eyes. No, she was certain he could get damn near anyone he wanted, and probably did, if he lived with the likes of Cirdan.
“Maybe… But I’ve never found anyone I wanted to invite here - aside from you, that is.” And as she met his eye with a small smirk, he quickly held his palms up, stammering, “I- I mean, not like that, I just- I was trying to make a joke. I- I’m not very good at this, sorry.”
“What, flirting with women in your private bathroom?”
“What? No! Joking! I- I mean, I’m not good at that either- Not that I’d know, mind you, but-”
Shaking her head, she took mercy on the poor, adorable man, striding back towards him and giving him a pat on the shoulder.
“The, uh… You’re welcome to hang out in my bathroom if you really want, but the PC stuff is in here.”
“Oh. Right.” So enthralled had she been in her surroundings and her company that she’d already forgotten why she was there - and it wasn’t for the jacuzzi, much to her dismay. With a blush of her own, she followed the man back into his bedchambers, where he stopped before his desk, all manner of strange devices strewn about.
“Ok,” she placed her hands on her hips, “this all looks downright Allagan to me. Where do I start.”
“Grab the motherboard first.”
At her blank stare, he granted her mercy, reaching forward and handing her easily the most confusing item on the desk. “This one. Here, lay it on top of this box. Everything we have will plug into this.”
She nodded, staring at the foreign item in confusion.
“Now, the easiest thing to do next is to install the CPU - the little square one…”
And so Jess did her best to follow along with his instructions; though, all things told, Varrus really did the most of the work; she was simply content to listen to his smooth, deep voice gently walking her through the steps, his hand occasionally closing over hers, guiding her movements, until, somehow, she tightened the final screw, securing the myriad of parts into its case.
“And there you go.” Varrus grinned. “See, I told you you could do it.”
“It can’t be that easy,” Jess huffed, staring at the newly-built PC before her in awe. “Where’s the catch?”
“Well, we have to turn it on - and pray it works. Then I have to test and install some things - nothing fun, I assure you.”
“Well, then we’ll make it fun.”
He laughed. “I like the way you think.” And so he pulled over his chair, motioning to the bed behind him, where Jess sat herself down - only to gasp in surprise at the plushness that rose up to encompass her. She couldn’t help but laugh, flopping backwards into the mess of blankets.
“Having fun?”
She glanced over the plume of down comforter to catch the Elezen bemusedly grinning at her.
“I don’t know how you ever leave this bed.”
“Some days, neither do I.”
“So,” she propped herself up on her elbows, “you said you moved in only a few months ago? How did you meet Cirdan?”
“At work, believe it or not. I took a job for his father’s company; he was sent to oversee my work, and through that we got to talking and he explained he was looking for a roommate. This whole place is owned by his father, too. Only way we can afford to live here.”
She let out a hum. “Explains a lot. So what is it Cirdan, or his father, do?”
“I… don’t know.”
She raised an eyebrow at the Elezen in surprise. “Do you not have the same job?”
“Oh, no,” Varrus snorted. “I’m just a lowly tech maintenance guy. Cir does… Well, he handles a lot of his father’s… business. What exactly that business is, I haven’t asked - and I’m willing to bet you can guess why.”
Hesitantly, she nodded - there was something decidedly unsettling about the whole place, though, there in that bedroom, she felt surprisingly at ease - especially for being around a stranger. A completely adorable stranger, but a stranger nonetheless.
“Well, where did you live before this?”
“With my mother, actually,” came his answer, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “And my sister. I know, I know, pretty old to live with my parents at 24 and already out of college, but-”
“Hey, I’m not judging - like I said, I live in a basement.”
Varrus gave a relieved grin. “Well, shall we see if this baby posts?”
“Posts?”
“Turns on.”
“How do you turn it on?”
“Well,” he smirked, “usually I like to stroke it gently and whisper sweet nothings into its ports-”
“Varrus!”
He laughed. “There’s a power button - you plugged it into the motherboard, but I don’t blame you for not remembering. Here.” With a click, the machine whirred to life, a myriad of rainbow lights emitting from inside as its fans spun up and a logo flashed across one of the Elezen’s screens.
“There. Easy peasy.”
“Hm, I guess you are good at turning things on.”
“Computers, anyway.”
She watched him glance away with another blush, and decided that shade of pink definitely suited his bronzed skin.
“So, uh, you mentioned a mother and sister? Anyone else in your life?” A question that had a hidden meaning, one she wasn’t brave enough to ask outright.
“My cousin,” came his answer. “And that’s it. My father died in a fire when I was young - we moved here from Ishgard shortly after.”
“Wait-” she interjected, “you’re Ishgardian?”
Varrus gave a nod. “Sorry I don’t have the sexy accent - I was young when we left.”
“That’s amazing!” she gasped, sitting up fully and leaning forward against her knees. “I’ve always wanted to visit, the land of knights and dragons, the beautiful winters, the castles, the grand balls…”
“Well, maybe several ages ago. Now it’s just religion and politics - the scenery’s nice, though.”
“Oh, I can only imagine.” She could just picture it in her head, the rolling, green forests of pine, the snow-capped mountains all around, where man and dragon worked hand-in…claw?
“Well, maybe I ought to show you around sometime.”
She raised an eyebrow to match his, and the thought of visiting somewhere exotic with a tall, handsome native…? It sounded like the perfect vacation to her.
“Maybe you should.”
Once again, the two caught each others’ gazes - she felt she could simply lose herself in his honey-colored eyes, the carrying the warmth of his smile, contrasting against his deep, purple hair whose long strands fell messily into his face. With a start, she thought back to her conversation with Cip the other day, about her ideal man - someone tall, with long hair and warm eyes… Well, only time would tell, but maybe, just maybe…
“I, um… Still have a few things to test here.”
Oh. Right. The computer.
“You can help yourself to whatever’s in the kitchen, if you’d like.”
“Sounds great.” Jess stood with a stretch, catching him staring at her as she opened her eyes once more - only for him to quickly glance away as soon as he realized he was being watched. She was used to be stared at, in her line of work, of course, but, somehow… it felt different, coming from him. More… sincere, in a way. Almost heartwarming.
Not that she was so cheesy to believe anything like that.
All the same, she hadn’t eaten in a while… and an excuse to snoop through their gorgeous kitchen was one she simply couldn’t pass. She strode out of the room, making straight for the kitchen - yet every cabinet she opened came up empty, save for a lone salt-shaker and a pitiful lemon pepper seasoning, alongside a handful of dishes. Puzzled, she opened the fridge - and the reason soon became clear. Piled nearly to the top was takeout container upon takeout container; she couldn’t help but shudder, quickly closing the fridge and marching back into the Elezen’s room.
“Why, exactly, do you have nothing but takeout in your fridge?!”
“There’s not just takeout,” Varrus insisted, his tone almost pained as he swiveled in his chair to face her. “I’m almost certain there’s a tube of salami in one of the drawers.”
“Do you seriously invite people over and expect them to be satisfied with just your salami?”
The man shrugged. “I… don’t really have people over. Cir does, often - people he intends to sleep with. They just show up, do the deed and leave. Guests are a new thing to both of us; I suppose I never thought about it. If you’d like, I can order-”
She cut him off with a shake of her head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll make something when I get back to the bar. But surely you know how to cook?”
The Elezen’s furrowed brows answered that.
“Are you telling me… You have that entire gorgeous kitchen… And neither of you cook?!”
Now that was nearly enough to make her faint - or scream.
“Look, you said you’re 24, yeah? I think it’s about time you learn.”
“I’ve just… never had a reason to.”
“Well, what if I taught you? At least the basics, as repayment for teaching me how to build a computer.”
“What? No, I couldn’t ask you to do that, don’t feel like you have to do something in return-”
“I don’t have to.” She grinned. “I want to.”
“In that case,” he matched her smile, “I don’t think I can rightly say no.”
“I’d do it tonight, here and now, if I didn’t have to leave for work.”
Varrus’ smile slowly faded, a sigh escaping his lips as he glanced up to the clock on his wall. “Right. You probably need to go. Well, here.” He stood, quickly flicking the computer off and unplugging it before holding it out to her, much to her confusion. “For you.”
“For me?” She gently accepted the PC, finding it surprisingly light in her arms. She’d agreed to learn how to build a computer; never in his invitation had he mentioned giving her one. “Varrus, I can’t accept this! I don’t even have-”
“Oh, right!” He turned, bending over and rummaging beneath his desk, before returning with a mouse and keyboard. “You’ll need these, too.”
“But, I can’t…” She trailed off at the sadness that flickered through his eyes, concern plain upon his face… a look she simply couldn’t refuse. So, instead, she buried her pride and her shame, planting a wide grin upon her face. “Thank you, Varrus. You’re too sweet.”
“So you’ve said,” he laughed. “I look forward to hearing your Mast Effect adventures while you’re beating my ass with a whisk. Um, in the kitchen. Learning to cook. That is.”
“Of course,” she nodded, though she knew she wouldn’t exactly be playing anytime soon - the last thing she wanted to admit was that she didn’t exactly have a screen… or a chair… or a place to put it… But it would make a nice memento to her first day with a new friend.
A new friend she felt she was very much beginning to like.
Platonically, of course.
“When do you want to come by again? For cooking, I mean.”
“Um…” She peeked over the PC in her arms, barely able to see. “How about… Saturday?”
“Saturday it is.” His grin was wide, filling her own chest with a joy unlike any she’d felt before.
“Saturday.” She nodded once more. It was only the chiming of the clock that gave her cause to stir, breaking her from his spell as he glanced at the clock once more, then the door behind her.
“Here, let me help you with the doors.”
She nodded gratefully, following as he guided her back towards the front and unlocked the myriad of bolts and chains.
“Saturday, unless I see you sooner.”
“Don’t be a stranger,” came her farewell, as she stepped into the hallway, meeting his gaze one last time before he slowly closed the door. And, gods, she hoped he wouldn’t be.
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A Year in Illustration
Creating visuals for abstract ideas with the public domain, fair use, Creative Commons and zero artistic talent.
Process notes on Medium.
Image descriptions:
A club-wielding thug whose off-hand is making a ‘give me’ gesture; he is wearing a green eyeshade and standing alongside a desk with a green-shaded lamp on it; in the background is the tri-color Italian flag.
A late 19th century illustration of Gulliver unconscious and bound by the Lillputians; his eyes have been replaced with Turbotax’s checkmark logos and an Intuit logo is stitched on a patch over his breast. Another embroidered patch bearing the Federalist Society logo is stitched over the shoulder of his jacket.
A ransom note that says “Pay Up Or Else” and is pinned down by a bloody hunting knife. A troll holds up a club in triumph.
A ‘thin blue line’ flag but instead of a blue line, you can see the top of a greasy pepperoni pizza.
The state flag of California; the bear is wearing a scrub cap and procedure mask.
A late 19th century illustration of Gulliver unconscious and bound by the Lillputians; his eyes have been replaced with Turbotax’s checkmark logos and an Intuit logo is stitched on a patch over his breast. Another embroidered patch bearing the Federalist Society logo is stitched over the shoulder of his jacket.
Jean-Leon Gerome’s painting Pollice Verso, 1872, depicting gladiators in an arena with noble onlookers giving a thumbs-down gesture. The tapestry before the nobles has been replaced with a US $100 bill in which Ben Franklin’s mouth has been replaced by an Amazon smile logo.
A ‘big brain’ Talosian alien from ‘The Cage,’ the 1965 pilot for Star Trek: the original series; the alien’s face has been replaced with Mark Zuckerberg’s.
A vintage rec-room with hobby equipment. Its floor is animated gold glitter. Posed within it is a male human figure whose head has been replaced with a money-bag.
A still of Michael Meyers as 'Dr Evil' from the Austin Powers movies. He is holding one pinky finger to his lips. His face has been replaced by Peter Thiel's.
A Chinese revolutionary poster depicting a marching army of peasant soldiers. It has been altered so that a man at the front of the column is carrying an Ipad. The image is surmounted by Apple’s ‘Think Different’ wordmark.
A vintage trustbuster cartoon depicting John D Rockefeller holding the Treasury building in the palm of his hand, peering at it through a watchmaker's loupe. Rockefeller's head has been replaced with Sam Bankman-Fried's. His collar bears the Alameda Research wordmark.
Two business-suited male figures seen side on; each has a bomb for a head, and each is holding a lit lighter that has ignited the other's fuse. Each bomb is wearing a green accountant's eyeshade. In the background is a fiery mushroom cloud.
An altered version of J.C. Leyendecker's Labor Day 1946 cover illustration for Hearst's 'American Weekly' magazine. The original features a muscular worker in dungarees sitting atop a banner-draped globe, holding a sledgehammer. In this version, his head has been replaced with a faceless hacker-in-a-hoodie, and his sledgehammer has been filled with Matrix code-waterfall characters. Leyendecker's signature has been replaced with an IWW graphic depicting workers with upraised fists.
A wood-paneled living room with a large flat screen TV on a stand. Before the TV sit two small boys with their arms around each others' shoulders, sitting crosslegged on the carpet in front of the set. The screen of the set displays a giant arcade machine '25¢ Push to Reject' coin-slot. Above the set, the glaring red eye of HAL9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey oversees the scene, ringed with a burned circle.
A statue of Plato with a Greek temple behind him. Plato has been tinted blue and out of his eyes glare the hostile red eyes of HAL9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. The temple behind him has been tinted dark red. Part of the temple's facade has been replaced with the Matrix 'Code Waterfall' graphic.
A statue of Plato with a Greek temple behind him. Plato has been tinted blue and out of his eyes glare the hostile red eyes of HAL9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. The temple behind him has been tinted dark red. Part of the temple's facade has been replaced with the Matrix 'Code Waterfall' graphic.
Moses confronting the Pharaoh, demanding that he release the Hebrews. Pharaoh's face has been replaced with Elon Musk's. Moses holds a Twitter logo in his outstretched hand. Moses's head has been replaced with the head of Tusky, the Mastodon mascot. The faces embossed in the columns of Pharaoh's audience hall have been replaced with the menacing red eye of HAL9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. The wall over Pharaoh's head has been replaced with a Matrix 'code waterfall' effect.
License information and credits:
Tobias Bomm (modified)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/tobias_bomm/31182687746/in/photolist-NkjzuR-PvvqFm-PozUDp-LnDNQ1-wrWcMy-vaXcuQ-vbLykc
CC BY 2.0
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Zack Middleton (modified)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ztm/5665782941/
CC BY-SA 2.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/
Cointelegraph (modified)
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sam_Bankman-Fried.png
CC BY 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
Vectorportal.com (modified)
https://vectorportal.com/vector/business-deal-illustration/23215
CC BY 4.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Cryteria (modified)
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
Mosiac36 (modified)
https://www.flickr.com/photos/mosaic36/14231376315
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Heisenberg Media (modified)
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Elon_Musk_-_The_Summit_2013.jpg
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