#for i have.... bills 2 pay

[arthursfuckinghat]

Red dead redemption fucks you up man.

You literally can't do anything the same anymore after playing, I'm sitting in work thinking about my horses and wondering which one I'll ride to die with Arthur - I love them all so much that I wish I could save them all.

I even randomly think about the thimble Jack wants, I have no idea where to find it but nobody at hanging dog ranch has had it in all the times I've raided it.

I think about the sun and the stars, the dusty plains of West Elizabeth and the grasslands of New Hanover, I think about Tall Trees and the canyons of New Austin, the mountains, the snow, the peaceful times camping under the night sky.

And you find yourself yearning for it, despite how awful, unforgiving and unfair the time period was.

You can't go back to those days, it's definitely for the best, you'll lose yourself if you focus so much on wanting something from so far in the past.

Whatever you're yearning for, look for it in your future, your present time, find it and run with it. Life is too short to live in the past, live in the time you have now and thrive.

[katydoodles]

I got pet bills to get payed off 😭

Slowly the jaundice cat is retrieving his coloring.

Last week my cat acted like he was on deaths doors and this week he’s eating,not peeing bright orange, and has some energy. Maybe he can pull through 😭💖

Even if you tip $3 I’m doing all request in my doodle/sketch style with one color unless I am given more details on what you are picturing.

If you know someone that has been wanting some art please share and let them know 💖 I’m dirt cheap right now and I don’t have a commission sheet/guideline. So like buy a kofi commission from me 💕

[thatlesbiancrow]

back in elementary school, i was selling girl scout cookies inside a walmart. an older gentleman came over to buy a box, and he asked which was my favorite kind. i told him thin mints, he smiled, bought a box, and handed them back to me. i wonder how he's doing now

[o-wild-west-wind]

okay, here’s my actual thoughtful post: I get why people are upset about the finale…I really do. but I want to mention that there’s a bigger picture to this story that’s missing if you’re zooming too close onto Izzy as a character, and I’m honestly so grateful that the show stuck to the thematic arc it introduced in season 1 because, as per usual, it’s about the themes 🤌 and this show never skimps on the symbolism!!

so here’s the thing: the primary themes are toxic masculinity (& it’s opposite, queer joy); trauma; love as a healing force for the above; and, title alert—DEATH. because it’s so much more than a cool title!

now, Izzy has always represented something metaphorical about all of these points; most directly, he’s always represented masculinity, and s2 has been an arc of toxicity deconstruction. but crucially, he’s also represented all that for Ed, who is the deuteragonist of this show. because—don’t forget—Stede and Ed are the show.

I’ve always doubted myself for feeling this after seeing how fandom saw Izzy as a third romantic figure (which like by all means have a blast in your fanfics I don’t care it’s about joy at the end of the day and pursue that as you want to), but after hearing something about djenks referring to Izzy as a father figure, it confirms a major point for me—Izzy is also in a lot of ways a parallel to Ed’s dad, and a representation of the trauma and guilt Ed felt from that formative killing. for so long, Izzy was an aggressive shadow in Ed’s life, and a tangible reminder of those daddy issues—someone telling him what to do, keeping him Blackbeard—and the beautiful thing is how that changed this season, how Izzy became a version of masculinity that could love and be beautiful and make good from the hurt, the literal poison into positivity. someone antithetical to his own paternalistic force, healing our daddy issues one drag show at a time. BUT, Izzy is still thematically representative within Ed’s arc—and by also representing the trauma that made Ed “Blackbeard,” it does make smart writing sense as to why Izzy died (NOT saying you can’t be sad about it—stick with me for a moment).

because here’s the thing—as aforementioned, this show is also about DEATH. killing is the root of everyone’s trauma, and reconciling a relationship with death is the ultimate arc Ed and Stede are both on, with the ultimate path of learning to live despite its inevitability. there’s a reason it was such a huge thing that Ed couldn’t personally kill, and then in this episode killed so many people with his bare hands in the name of love—and there’s a reason that was framed as a good thing. and there’s also Ed’s (and arguably Stede’s) active suicidality, which has been a huge force driving this season. these are characters who see death as this all-consuming thing, and they see their own deaths as the only solution. death is the traumatic force driving almost everything about their being for so long—and its reconciliation is everything for them, the greatest sign of growth. so Izzy’s death, and everyone beginning again with love—healing each other with love—is a cap to it all. it’s death as a positive force, for once. it’s death as love, not trauma. it’s death as something that will always happen, but this time not forced by your own hand. it’s a death to everything toxic, to what “Blackbeard” represented, and all the while a sort of rebirth. it’s kind of a death to…death? it’s functionally like the real physical moon replacing the giant romantic imaginary orb: it’s taking the thing that’s been artificially morphed in Stede and Ed’s heads and making it real this time, with all the bittersweet emotions that come with tangible reality.

and honestly, I’m glad that it was tragic and emotional. I didn’t think I’d be so devastated to see Izzy die, but it really did get to me, especially because of everything he said to Ricky and then to Ed. but think of it this way: Izzy and Ed might be romantically compelling because they were toxic and charged (and I hope people still enjoy everything they get from that dynamic in fan work), but imagine if the show had actually gone in that direction—where would it take us thematically? it would kill the thesis; it would be love as chaos and entertainment, but not healing. instead, this show gave us something so much more powerful: a legitimate, fully-fleshed trauma arc.

trauma hurts. Izzy’s death hurts. but that’s okay. that’s great, actually! it means the storytelling was effective—that Izzy’s arc made you feel something. and i know this won’t be every viewer’s experience, but honestly? I’m glad I can have this grieving process in such a beautifully framed light in the safe space ship of this show, because let’s be real—death, real life death, fucks you up. and let me tell you, I could’ve used this show during so many episodes of grief in my life. but here it is now, reminding us that our grief and trauma doesn’t define us—and WHAT a powerful thing for queer love, especially, to be presented as the thing that heals us all. ESPECIALLY when so much grief and death in this community is woven so deeply with the trauma of our identity.

so grieve as you need to, but don’t forget to turn the poison into positivity 💛 because that’s what the show is telling us—choose live, despite!

[pfhwrittes]

i'm just dropping my ko-fi link here and doing a runner.

[la-galaxie-langblr]

job rant incoming

[obsob]

do you make enough money from selling prints in etsy to sustain your life? how are you able to afford this beautiful house and time to crochet and go on walks and all of that? i’m not asking for nosiness but because i’m trying to figure out what i would need to do in order to make my life financially sustainable… is art an option… etc

short answer i mooch off my bf <333333333333333

[vampireghoul]

Explaining my hare brained schemes as to why I work so much and what I’m doing every day makes me sound like an actual psycho

[nashvillethotchicken]

People will ask "why did lestat buy the Fairplay for louis? Does show!Louis not have his own money" as if 1: either Tom Anderson or the other one would sell it to him outright (they literally gave him horrific terms for a business deal in ep 1 because they wanted to take him down a peg) or 2: Lestat doesnt explicitly love spending money on Louis and what he wants

[mxwhore]

can i get a fucking Break

[menlove]

learning how much Debt medium rich people are in is so scary to me. like. I'm about 1k in credit card debt (which is very low compared to my total credit limits I know how to keep a good ratio going for a good credit score) and then like 20k in student loan debt and that's terrifying to me. but 99% of medium rich people you see are like. hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and that's just How they pay for their lifestyle. they get insanely high credit limits and just pay for entire cruises and vacations and bullshit on their credit cards. I cannot fathom this. if I were 300k in credit card debt I'd be having heart palpatations daily. but it's good to keep this in mind when going "how tf do people my age afford things?!" bc typically the answer is: credit cards and loans. they aren't affording things at all.

[stuckinapril]

might have a parisian girl era soon. we’ll see

[re-velogs]

so fucking busy the rest of the year. being alive is awesome :]

[doodlboy]

Local man treats himself to the silly little lamb game

[britneyshakespeare]

you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off

that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it

[pinkysberg]

A modern day Javier would be politically active. He'd probably still be a revolutionary and maybe in his past time go to some protests idk. Also he'd still have fled from mexico maybe because he was a criminal maybe because he wanted good work to provide for his family. He'd come to America after a long hard journey and find that no one wants to employ him. That's where Dutch comes in and says "you can come work with me" thus a saviour complex arises. Playing guitar would be a hobby, he'd sometimes play in the local bar but its not his main income.

love how u've thought this out bc in my head all i see when i thinking of modern javier is: tired starbucks barista who is not ready for pumpkin spice latte season