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Fun Fact
BuzzFeed published a report claiming that Tumblr was utilized as a distribution channel for Russian agents to influence American voting habits during the 2016 presidential election in Feb 2018.
AN EXPERT'S GUIDE ON HOW TO EAT THE FORBIDDEN FOODS
aquarium gravel: nerds.
tide pods: jelly fruits or fruit gushers.
glass: there's recipes on how to make edible glass, look it up.
bar soap: fudge.
fiberglass insulation: cotton candy.
styrofoam packing peanuts: corn/cheese puffs.
orbeez: bursting boba (or just regular tapioca pearls).
d&d dice: i'm pretty sure someone sells edible dice sets somewhere.
bath bombs: they make edible ones for cocktails but i dunno if they're good for just everyday biting and eating.
bouncy balls (you know the ones): probably some kind of really dense gummy.
himalayan salt lamp: no substitute. lick that lamp. lick it. it's not toxic.