#forgot to post this outside of twitter oops

[keyyu]

They’d be happy to hear how torturous it was drawing them

[midmourn]

accidentally revealing your relationship

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

reposting from my old blog.

members ot7 nct dream

summary one of you accidentally reveal your relationship.

Mark. the poor boy had a picture of you and him as his homescreen. yeah, not his smartest choice. he was on vlive and was showing fans something on his phone and he completely forgot about his homescreen and clicked off. "so yeah there's the proof that haechan threatened me," he giggled, pressing his home button to get off the messages, screen still facing the camera for a second. it was just long enough that people were able to see what it was. he squinted at the comments, tilting his head, "what do you guys-- oh." he backed up slightly in shock, eyes widening at the camera before hurriedly turning off the vlive. he stared down at the floor silently before looking up at the manager behind the camera, "oops."

Renjun. so technically it wasn't his fault! literally no one told yall they would be going on vlive and so ... the boys were in their dressing room and unluckily yall happened to be right in the corner of the camera frame ... you reached up to give renjun a kiss on the cheek, and the camera managed to catch that and renjun's face but not your face!! yeah no one knew until the comments started exploding about the unknown person giving renjun a kiss and the boys knew it could only be you. and as always, screamed loudly to get your attention before turning off the live. you and renjun about almost killed them for not telling you or being more careful.

Jeno. okay so you were on your way to sm company to give him his lunch bc he was practicing alone. you texted him that you were there and were on your way up but literally before you could even get in the building, he was already opening the doors and meeting you halfway. “i told you—“ he ignored your words, pulling you in by your jacket to press a kiss on your lips. as always, there are literally fans or outsiders outside of sm’s building at all times. and of course they took pictures and videos and uploaded it to sns immediately. it wasn’t until you pulled away that he realized what he did. “oh.” “yeah, oh,” you mocked, pushing him into the building as you glared at him. “congratulations, our relationship is now public.” “sorry,” but he didn’t seem sorry at all, if the grin on his face was saying anything.

Haechan. haechan … is a very obvious person. he would only compliment you when your group was miraculously brought up(probably also by him) and only sing/rap your parts of your songs. it didn’t help the fact that fans were already suspicious because you two were seen at the same place at different times and you frequently stole some of his clothes and wore it out. BUT! it’s only when he reads a comment about you outloud(“y/n from y/g complimented your vocals!!”) and he says, “yeah, y/n is a very nice partn—“ and cuts himself off before he can finish the word, eyes wide as he stares at the camera. “they’re a very nice, nice— um, idol. i’ve got to go practice, bye!” but like i said, he’s very obvious and fans heard him say the romantic word~~ oops.

Jaemin. it’s no secret that jaemin is a huge fan of having matching couple items, like with his members and especially you— since you’re, you know, a couple and all. his personal favorite was your custom made matching necklaces, so you wore it everywhere. unfortunately, seeing as the owner had no idea of anything concerning you two, when fans asked about your necklace to buy it, he said a young man came in and had it custom ordered. fans put two and two together and … boom. rumors were made up and since it really blew up, your companies denied it despite the rumors being true. even if they denied it, fans were very convinced you two were dating. no more privacy for you anymore! sorry jaemin you should’ve said something or not had it custom made. 🥲

Chenle. you like to take pictures of you and daegal and post it on your private twitter account, so what? he had no problem with it, even being in a few of them since he knew only your members and a few friends were on your private twitter. so when you did that exact thing, he didn’t care and merely posed with daegal sitting on your chest. it’s minutes later when his phone starts getting multiple text messages and he checks it only to see messages about you posting a picture on twitter. “babe,” he inhaled, “did you post it on your private account?” you glance up at him in confusion, “the picture? yeah.” he closed his eyes, leaning his head back, “are you sure it wasn’t on your main account?” it dawns on you right then and there. “oh my god.” in one minute, the tweet is deleted but thousands of people have already seen it and screenshotted. the koreaboo article is up within twenty minutes. . I am so sorry 😀

Jisung. ah, sweet sweet jisung. he was on vlive while you were at the corner store to get snacks for your movie night. he didn’t originally plan to go in vlive but decided to have a voice only vlive because he was bored. he thought you’d be gone for a while and would be done before you got back, so he didn’t text you about it. he was reading comments when you walked in, already talking as soon as you opened the door, “hey babe, i got that ice cream you like, the one—“ when he started coughing loudly in the middle of your sentence, you looked up and saw his eyes widening as he pointed at his phone violently. it didn’t take long for you to understand once you checked your own phone and saw that you had a notification from vlive, signaling someone went live. ‘oh my god’ you mouthed at him and he coughed again to fill the silence, eyes going back to the screen to read the comments to see if anyone heard you clearly. unfortunately … they did, and they heard the petname, too. he made up an excuse to get off quickly and groaned, putting his face in his hands. needless to say, fans reposted the clip of your voice everywhere.

[all-hallows-street]

All Saints Street 2024-2025 Holiday Illustrations

Totally didn't forgot about this blog for so long that I couldn't upload for the whole holiday season oops.

Here are some illustrations for Christmas, New Years, The Year of the Snake and the Lantern Festival! All of these can be found on the official twitter account, but like always weibo has the best quality. Something that wasn't posted on the twitter account (but was on the artists Jarvis Dean account!) were the new Year of the Snake avatars. I have uploaded them to the drive as well.

In case you have also been living under a rock: the Tiktok (1 day) ban lead a lot of people to making accounts on the Chinese social media Xiaohongshu/redNote. And if you were one of the TikTok refugees making an account, you should know you can officially follow 1031 All Saints Street there. Currently it's the only way to follow and engage with an official Chinese account since making redNote accounts outside of China is very easy. They post new comics and illustrations like the weibo account, they seem to be faster to update too. https://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/657ada00000000001c018d83

Image sources: 2024 Christmas: twitter / weibo

2024/2025 New Year: twitter / weibo

2025 CNY Year of the Snake: twitter / weibo

2025 Lantern Festival: twitter / weibo

Year of the Snake Avatars: JD Insta / weibo Google Drive WSJ_Official_Art - Google Drive

(They are divided by year now, will continue to sort them out)

WSJ_Avatars - Google Drive I will also leave some updates on the read more for those interested.

Finally, we are able to upload the chapters on mangadex and we will start uploading some chapters (as soon as we agree on the title translations since that is something we completely missed during TL rip). For now, we uploaded the extra chapters with their proper titles to a Volume 0. All Saints Street - MangaDex

I think this is the best compromise since they are not part of the main continuity. Will also help to have the physical volume extras here at some point, because currently the uploads aren't ordered in volumes (I have to find out if Mangadex mods could even change that for a huge number of chapters). Another upload you can look forward to: I finally bit the bullet and bought all 4 BluRays of All Saints Street and imported them from Japan 💸. I am working with some people more fluent in Japanese than me to translate some extras. They are 6, 2-minute conversations between characters, but they are amusing on their own right. I will probably upload them to YouTube at some point. That's all for now. Will try to upload more frequently from now on <3.

[jihooniesss]

➤ @jihooniesss

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆——⭑⋆♡⋆⭑——⋆｡˚✴︎⋆

welcome to my blog 🍒ᝰ.ᐟ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

[ reah || she/her || 18+ || couprang || woozidan ]

• tiktok • twitter •

hi!! i'm reah^^

i don't have a specific thing i post about, other than svt of course. i started this for fun 🕺 i do write little drabbles sometimes when i feel like it, and so i post them here too. i don't mind requests! maybe i'll write out some of your ideas 😆 other than that i hope you enjoy me spamming (mostly) scoups things and dying from it.

i guess slightly nsfw? like not super serious or deep or anything just like the things i've read and reblogged, some funny comment about an scoups pic, the usual. 🤣🤣

we can be friends!! i'm open to any interactions -- don't be weird or creepy. if you do happen to send in a request, be patient! don't come pestering me about it. i still have a life outside of this.

i don't really use my tiktok and twitter. i only post on tiktok sometimes, and twitter is mostly just retweeting stuff but feel free to follow me there if u want 🕺

anywayyyyy, i think that's kinda it. thank you for reading this 😚

if you just wanna see what i've written so far, here!!

(forgot an age indicator oops. it's there now 💥)

[desire-mona]

Opinions on jacksfilms v sssniperwolf?

Penny for ur thoughts plz 🪙 (<- pretend that is a penny shhhhh)

this ask is an equivalent to asking for my hand in marriage just btw.

so in case anyone doesnt know anything abt this old ass drama (i dont know as much as i could either, this is a retelling from the bits and pieces i remember):

so basically sssniperwolf used to be this gaming youtuber but she eventually turned into a half baked "reaction" channel where she just watches tiktoks, makes low effort surface level commentary, and then doesnt credit the creator of said tiktoks. jacksfilms is a comedy youtuber who does a bunch of stuff (sketches, streaming, something called YIAY where he gives ppl prompts / questions to answer n reads em out(with credit!(also hes been doing stuff with ai recently but mostly to show how mid it is which like. eh idk how i feel abt it but its not a dealbreaker))) and he at one point in 2023 called out sniper for her content stealking and lazy content.

he started doing this thing where he reacted to her videos the way she reacts to the videos she steals? i think? and then he gives credit to the creators that sniper reacts to i hope ur following. sniper eventually got mad and was like "uhhhmmm ur stealing from me....." which is rly funny considering she steals from SO many ppl. they had lowkey beef for a while (and obv jack was in the right the entire time) and on uhhhhhh lemme look this up hold on. october 13th of last year sniper posted an instagram story poll like "jacksfilms is close to this place im shooting at should i go see him" i guess to like? talk things out?

(src)

and then some amnt of time later while jack was playing jackbox on stream with his editors and stuff (dubbed the council) sniper showed up at his house, stood outside, and posted a video OF HIS HOME ON HER STORY. ON HER INSTAGRAM WITH OVER 5 MILLION FOLLOWERS. also to add even more context that i found out from youtube comments, sniper has been arrested for armed robbery before, so! some council member alerted jack and erin (jack's wife) was like "erm im gonna go outside" and everyone was like NO DONT OMG. eventually she deleted the story but by that point it was like wayyyy too late. and photos of his house were alr on twitter and stuff. the most ridiculous part is that when jack was rightfully like WHAG GHE HELL she was like this guy is creepy and hes been harassing me! i just wanna talk!!!

jacksfilms made a video being like heyyyyy youtube can u do smthn abt this???? youtube, of course, did nothing in response. i honestly dont know how it ended but snipers still doing her thing and so is jack so ultimately nothing substantial came of it, i guess. i wasnt on stream when it happened but i was GLUED to twitter as it was unfolding since ive been a big jacksfilms fan since i was 12ish. crazy times

WAIT EDIT I FORGOT TO ADD MY OPINION OOPS LOL: FUCK SNIPERWOLF

also fun fact! ive had a couple convos with a council member (marshaldoesstuff u will always be famous) and i was in his discord FOREVER ago. like 2018 forever ago. got groomed in that server it was kinda goofy (NOT marshal's fault - nor the mods of said server, im still friends with a few of those mods and they were always so protective of me and were there to put a stop to everything, i love them dearly.) so yeah im kinda etched into jacksfilms lore in a way that VERY few remember. which is the case for a few different fandoms tbh.

second fun fact: jack and erin r house md fans (erin has a crush on house and jack has a crush on cuddy which is sooo based of them)

thank u for asking and thank u for reading :3 i luv jacksfilms

[etheweirdo]

2024 Plans

Alright, year's wrapping up so gonna talk about plans for next year.

1. Finish Honey's Sweet Revenge [by end of Feb] (I have been working on it far too long and need to just be done with it and do new things)

2. 3 animations (I do about this many anyways but want to keep it up)

3. Make a bunch of small games [4 or so?] (I need to just do the opposite of what I've been doing and make bite size games that take like 2 months to make)

4. Write a script for Kojiro (I started this already, I want to finish a script up and maybe even make some panels)

5. Keep working on my projects for Last Ones In (being vague, but it's stream related)

And that's about it I think? Though these are all very large things, so we'll see how I do.

Happy New Years everyone.

edit: oop forgot the 6th one which is I want to just like, use twitter/tumblr to just talk about stuff? I feel like I forced myself to only post art but I do stuff outside of it too.

[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[jjk-biased]

[hyungline pretending you aren’t dating]

requested by: anonymous (can i request that one idol! au from the special prompt list with jin or yoongi? paired to a fem reader, and somehow, dispatch discovered they were actually dating. Thank you!!)

also requested by: anonymous (The idol! au where they pretend to not be dating but somehow perceived as enemies by the public with namjoon, paired with a female reader, and how the public reacts when they find out when they were actually dating)

a/n: first of all, i apologize for the long wait!! i was quite unwell these past few days because of stress from school and so i couldn’t work. also, i forgot to add more of the public’s reaction in the fic itself so to the anon who asked, and whoever wants, please tell me if you want me to do a continuation (i was thinking fake text form)

genre: fluff

words: 2.5k overall

synopsis: having to hide your relationship, you tried your best not to make your long-time relationship obvious to the world. you did so well that they thought you were enemies.

masterlist | events masterlist

Your relationship started before the both of you even entered BigHit, so management couldn’t really ask you to break up-- or else they’d lose you two to other companies who could also see the potential. Albeit loose, their only rule was for you two to pretend that you weren’t dating until they see it fit for the two of you to reveal the long relationship you two had. 

Apparently, you two did well. In fact, you did so well that the public perceived you two as rivals. 

Enemies.

Oh how wrong they were.

kim seokjin

“This is so funny… They believe you hate your s/o, hyung! Look,” Namjoon snorted as he showed one of the posts he saw in his secret twitter fan account. (yes, i swear that guy has one)

“Why do you guys ship Jin and Y/N? It’s obvious they hate… each other,” Jin read aloud, falling to the floor as he laughed. 

Jin supposed it was because of the limited aired interaction between you two. But he could never hate you, boy was too whipped to even be angry at you. He loved you so much.

You were just as whipped as he was and were facing quite a similar predicament in the dressing room next door with your manager. 

“When we told you two that you couldn’t reveal your status, it was never part of it to let the public think you two hated each other,” Your manager jested, too amused to see that this is how the people saw you two. 

You sighed as your manager continued to voice out their thoughts. 

“Honestly! They should see how you two are in undocumented events… Like horny teenagers who couldn’t take their hands off of each other! It’s like you’re almost havi-” You shut your manager up before they could even say anything else and embarrass you further. 

“But seriously, if anything goes out… I think management will allow it now.”

You mull over the words of your manager before you left, thinking about how convenient it would be to finally scream to the world that you love Kim Seokjin, and that he loves you back.

I mean, who wouldn’t?

Jin met up with you at the parking lot, hidden from any prying stalkers and media that wanted to get a scoop of whatever was inside the world’s best artist’s company. You returned the bear hug he gave, albeit distracted, and remained in his arms. To get you to notice him, Jin poked you on the cheek and giggled internally when he saw your confused look.

“What are you thinking about?” 

You sighed and relayed what your manager had mentioned, “I don’t think they plan to say anything about us but if word goes out, they won’t deny it either.” 

Jin hummed, “I suppose it’s because of the ongoing discussion on whether we’re enemies or not.”

“But they are right about that. I hate you, especially because you cheat on Mario kart,” You grin, sticking your tongue out. 

Jin faked offense, playing along and saying that you should stop dreaming about beating him.

At that moment, Jin looked so irresistible that you couldn’t pass up on kissing him. As you reached up and connected your lips, you two heard something.

A click of a camera. In the most guarded parking lot. Where you two were kissing.  

Ah shit. 

Jin sighed, annoyed that someone was ruining your moment, and chose to break your intimate moment so he could cover you with his broad shoulders. He was always a gentleman and would always prioritize your well-being even if he’s also uncomfortable. 

Dispatch finally got something from sneaking in and they were sure to post those photos as soon as possible because it would gain a lot of clicks. And a lot of clicks meant a lot of moola. For them, that is. 

The next day, Dispatch released your photos with Jin, causing a plethora of reactions from the community. Your manager was prepared enough that BigHit could post its response two hours from the start of the fiasco. 

While it wasn’t the most ideal way of going public, the thought that the world finally knew you’ve loved Seokjin for a long time brought you ease. 

min yoongi

The world knew you as one of BTS’ producers and owner of some of the hidden vocals in a few songs. Unlike Adora and the rest, you were very open with your friendship with the boys and would be often seen in the background of some music videos for the fun of it. 

Somehow, you were also included in some “ships” as fans liked to call it. While you never minded being paired off to the guys who you’d always see as friends, you were more than bothered that the world decided you and Min Yoongi hated each other. You? And your long-time boyfriend?

They should see how he is when he’s alone with you.

Just like right now. You were comfortably laying on the bean bag you brought to Yoongi’s studio so you could have some sort of time with him before he got too busy with their comeback. This is how you two would spend your time-- when one of you is working on new tracks, the other would be loitering about in the studio, ready for when the one working wants to cuddle to de-stress.

You were scrolling on your phone, using your fan account to keep yourself updated on whatever was going on in stan twitter, and came across a particular thread that pointed out why you shouldn’t be shipped with Min Yoongi. That very short thread garnered a lot of attention, and you could see that people were divided. 

They shouldn’t. You were obviously with Yoongi and you couldn’t understand why they perceived your fleeting glances as “avoiding eye contact.” 

Yoongi must have heard your snickers and sighs because he stopped fine tuning this english track to look at your sprawled form, “What’s with you?” You raised your head to meet his gaze. Is this avoiding contact, huh? You shook your head and told him that the world was an idiot. 

Not that you could do anything about it though. 

Yoongi stretched as he chuckled, asking if you wanted to go to the small unknown cafe down the road for a breather. You agreed and were excited that you get to go on a simple, spontaneous date with the love of your life. Yoongi held your left hand in his as you two walked to the cafe.

Well, that was a mistake. 

You two underestimated Dispatch’s abilities to sneak and follow you two. You also paid no mind towards Manager Sejin’s offer to bring you to the cafe via car ride. The journalist must have had a field day because he was able to take photos of you two holding hands, you two kissing, and you two laughing at the barren cafe. 

As you went back to the building, you two were met with a very stressed Namjoon and a defeated Manager Sejin. Dispatch was able to post everything before you could even return back to BigHit. Oops.

Curiously peeking at your phone as the four of you went to Bang PD’s office, you could see that a lot were shocked yet happy that the supposed enemies of BigHit were actually dating. 

Jokes on you, world. I’m dating Min Yoongi.

“What are we gonna do about this?”

...Bang PD please don’t fire me. 

jung hoseok

“Do you hate me?” Hoseok whispered, quite nervous to ask you such a question while the others were on taking a break outside of the practice room. You were BigHit’s choreographer and assistant to the legendary Son Seungdeuk, and were previously teaching them the dance you, Hoseok, and Seungdeuk have come up with for their newest track, Dynamite. 

To say the least, you were taken aback that Hoseok had thoughts like these. If it weren’t for the keep quiet rule set by BigHit, you would have told every person you came across with that Jung Hoseok loved you back. You immediately assured him that you love him so much, even more than you loved your favorite snack. 

“What made you think so?” You asked softly, sitting on the floor beside him. 

Hoseok hummed, deciding it was best to show you rather than tell. He pulled his phone out and opened Weverse, their app, and scrolled to the latest posts that said you and your boyfriend seemed to hate each other. You never really thought much on how the world saw you two but this particular reaction from the fans shocked you. 

“Hmm… I never got to the bottom of why they thought we hated each other but their only evidence is me glaring at you from the back of the camera,” Hoseok said, his mood being lifted by how baseless everyone was being. 

“You were trying your best not to laugh during the dance practice shoot, thanks to my good looks,” You whipped your hair in confidence, laughing your ass out with him when you two remembered. 

Before you could even kiss his cheek, the younger members barged in and faux vomited at the sight. Mr. Son was also pretending to gag, but he should see himself when he’s with his wife at their company gatherings. 

After the practice, everyone was playing around and making selfies. Namjoon must have not noticed that he faintly had you and Hoseok laughing in the background because he posted the photo immediately.

Nothing could be done anymore, even if he deleted the picture. The “Are you two enemies or lovers?” debate grew much more because of the picture that even Dispatch decided to meddle to get to the bottom of it. 

The next day, while they were preparing for the live stage as you monitored their movements, will forever change the course of the enemies versus lovers discourse. You and Hoseok were near the backstage, but still visible if someone looked hard enough. Look hard enough Dispatch did. You were laughing as Hoseok striked silly poses, earning a few pecks and hugs from you as support. 

They were thriving as they dangled from a tree, using one of the lenses with extreme zoom, and successfully getting a few shots here and there of your interaction. 

After that event, they immediately posted the collection of the photos that were taken without consent, consequently confirming the thoughts that formed from Namjoon’s latest post. 

You two really didn’t mind their opinion when that article was published. You two were occupied by the impending scolding you’ll get from Mr. Son and Manager Sejin. 

At least, the world began to see the sense from your past interactions, questioning themselves why they ever thought otherwise. 

You were with Hoseok, and it was obvious from before. The world finally knew that. 

kim namjoon

Fans speculated that Namjoon had someone in his heart. It wasn’t that obvious but they were able to connect certain videos and photos, coming to the conclusion that Namjoon was in a relationship. 

But they were very sure it wasn’t you. 

You were one of the very few actors of BigHit, currently working on a romantic comedy drama alongside BTS’ Jin, and the “someone” in question for Namjoon’s heart. Because you and Jin were co-actors, BTS would often visit your set when they could. They would also send food trucks for you two with your funny candid pictures and unreleased selfies. 

Namjoon took this chance to visit you when he was available because your moments with him have become scarce when their comeback coincided with your drama. When not in shoot, selected staff could see you in your van cuddling with your very tall boyfriend. You’d easily fall asleep when he’s with you and your manager was more than happy to know you could rest properly if Namjoon’s around. 

It was one of those days when you were out in a province to film for the next episode and Namjoon was free to tag along. 

Dispatch being dispatch, knew ahead that your drama would take place in the quiet province, so they sent one of their journalists to get some tea on the Y/N x Jin ship that bloomed from the drama. Sadly, they also had someone inside the filming crew (it was one of those interns that was unaware of you and Joon) in case someone discovers the actual journalist stalking them.

Namjoon never got out of your van ever since your filming started. He didn’t want to get in the way of your work process, opting to stay inside to read an ebook that he started some day ago. Visiting twitter for awhile, he came across one of his mutual’s questionable thread of lies that stated you were enemies with your long-time boyfriend and current fiance. 

He had a rare blank look on his face, speechless at how this mutual of his must have come up with this out-of-this-world conclusion. Namjoon decided it was best to end the mutual because he didn’t want any bullshit on his timeline. He was right to do so anyway because that ex-mutual of his got exposed for being a solo stan and an overall bad person. 

Moments later, the door to the van opened and revealed a very stressed-looking you wanting nothing more than to sleep in his arms for the entirety of your 30-minute break. Namjoon grinned softly at your grabby hands, fixing the chairs so you could have enough space to sleep comfortably. 

That short time was enough for the mole (the intern who actually worked for dispatch) to see that there was something going on with you and Kim Namjoon. He couldn’t sneak pictures, however, because your manager was quick to close the door and give him the stink eye. Mr. Mole relayed his newfound information to the journalist lurking in the trees and their focus shifted to you and Namjoon instead because this would take the world by storm.

Your manager felt that something might happen that day so he had discussed with Bang PD and Manager Sejin prior on precautions to take. Scanning around the crew, the person he was most suspicious of was clearly communicating when phones weren’t allowed, so he sent an alert to Bang PD and other people involved with this concern. 

You were fast asleep in Namjoon’s arms so only he was made aware of what was about to take place. BigHit was ready to post their confirmation that you were way past dating, on the way to marriage and you weren’t with Jin at all. (Jin was with someone else, but they couldn’t disclose that yet).

The moment Dispatch had released photos of you not only with Jin but also with Namjoon, BigHit immediately dropped the truth. They dismissed Dispatch’s accusations of you “whoring” around with both idols, sharing that you and Namjoon share a long past and will continue to share the future with each other. 

It was a win for both you two and BigHit. You could finally go on dates and post about each other. And BigHit?

They finally sued Dispatch. 

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk @bbyjoonies @borednia @tanumiki @taescake

[httpswwwtbhkcom]

“Snow and Tsukki does not match together.” 

[Oneshot/Imagine]

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Reader

[@httpswwwtbhkcom’s masterlist]  [100 Followers Celebration✧] 

Summary: You, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi decided on walking around the park in the holidays. Tsukishima declined but was dragged by both of you. You all were having fun until you had met with the other Karasuno members. They had left soon after, Yamaguchi also decided to leave ‘the 2 lovebirds’ alone. Making both of you have fun on your own. 

Warning: swearing, 

Genre: fluff

Keys:

Y/n-your name, s/o- significant other. 

A/n: Sorry for not posting for a while, i was busy with school work. And i know it’s not Christmas yet so don’t tell me. 

Reader: Neutral 

Made by:  Royal Kumao in Twitter! 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

“Hey Tadashi!” You went towards the green haired boy. He noticed your voice and greeted back. “Have you found Kei yet? I’ve been trying to find him but he’s no where to be seen!” Yamaguchi shooked his head. “I haven’t seen Tsukki too, i thought he was with you.” 

You pouted, Where is your boyfriend? Did he leave without you? That’s rude. “He wasn’t in the gym, i checked it twice.” He informed you, you nodded. Then the event popped into your head. “Want to join us walk around the park next week?” He looked at you. “You mean Tsukki, you and me?” “Yep!” You answered eagerly. “Did Tsukki agree?” You let out a nervous chuckle.

“Haha.... About that, i haven’t asked him yet...... I didn’t have time!” Yamaguchi smiled. “We’ll ask Tsukki later.” You nodded at his statement, grinning. 

Both of you walked around the school for a last check. And it settles it. He left. 

Both you and Yamaguchi went to his house, mostly you pouting the whole time since he hadn’t told you anything. Once both of you were standing infront of the Tsukishima household, you rang the doorbell. Silence.... You were going to ring it again when the door creaked open. 

“Ah, Y/n Nice to see you again.” Tsukishima’s older brother, Akiteru Tsukishima greeted. “Oh, Nice to see you too Yamaguchi.” He added. ‘Again? When?’ Yamaguchi questioned to himself.

The two of you greeted Akiteru, who led you both to the living room. Everyone sat down on the couch. Until Akiteru left and came back with drinks. 

“So what brings you two here?” He asks while sipping his drink. “Well.” You looked at him. “Kei wasn’t at school today. We were going to invite him on walking together next week. But we haven’t found him yet. Is he here?” Yamaguchi nodded at your statement, looking at the other side of the window.

“He’s here. An hour or two.” Akiteru answered. “An hour of two?!” You coughed, while Yamaguchi tried to help your state. 

You heard footsteps just outside of the living room. You heard an ‘Oh.’ at the hallway. “Tsukki!” Yamaguchi called. “Where were you?” He asked. “I went home, didn’t i text you Y/n?” He looked at you. You took out your phone. “No.” You replied. He checked his own phone to the messages. “Oh, i forgot to hit send. Oops.” His voice was in a teasing tone, though he did forgot to hit send.

“You worry me.” You deadpanned. Yamaguchi stood up and waved goodbye. “Wait why are you leaving so soon?” You asked the boy. “I need to go.” He explained. “Oh ok, Bye!” 

Tsukishima slightly pouted for a second. “Come on Y/n, let’s go to my room.” He walked to his room, not looking back. “Is it ok?” You asked Akiteru, you didn’t even know why. He nodded before placing the empty glasses to the sink. 

“What do you want to tell me?” He asked, sitting on his bed. “Huh?” “What do you want to tell me?” He repeated, looking at you.

“Oh right! I want you to hang out with me and Tadashi at the park next week.” You exclaimed, Tsukishima sighed before grabbing a book and pretending to read it “No.” 

“No??? Why not?” 

“It’s cold, plus i get to study.” You pouted at his reason. “Please??” 

“No.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Three days had passed you have been bombarding him to come. Everytime you did, he says no. 

“I know you want to!” You said. He sighed. “No, i don’t.” 

“Fine!” You crossed your arms, looking away from him. He looks at you confused. But doesn’t question. 

“Go wear a sweater or something in the next 4 days, i’ll be coming to get you.” Then you walked away. “What do you mean?” He asks himself. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It was December 23 when he changed his clothes into something appropriate for the winter. 

He was still confused why. 

“KEI, YOUR S/O AND FRIEND IS HERE!” Akiteru called to him. He closed the closet door and went to the front door. 

“Y/n? Why is Yamaguchi here?” He asked. “Wow! Tsukki did agree to come with us to the park today! How did you do it Y/n?” Yamaguchi praised you making you flush. “It was nothing... Anyways, Let’s go!” You grabbed his hand and walked until you got pulled back because of him just standing there. 

“Y/n...” He said in a scary tone, making everyone nearby shiver. “What is the meaning of this?” 

“Ahahahaha..... About that..” 

“We wantedyoutocomewithussinceit’salmostchristmasitwasy/n’sideaiwantedtocometoosinceitlookedcoolbut-” Yamaguchi was cut off by Tsukishima. 

“Ok ok i get it. I’m not going-” Before he could finish his sentence, you and Yamaguchi were pulling him to the park. “Goodbye and have fun!” the nervous Akiteru who saw the whole thing infront of him waved to his little brother before closing the door. 

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You three were now passing by people. They were either in a group or just 2. 

You and Yamaguchi were happily conversing while Tsukishima gets annoyed when a snowflake hits him softly. 

“Snow and Tsukki does not match together.” Yamaguchi jokes, you laugh in agreement. He grumbles. 

Few minutes of walking and you had seen them. Well, they saw you three first.

“Hey, is that Tsukishima? YO TSUKKI!” Nishinoya calls, making Tsukishima flush in embarrassment.

“Could you not do that. We’re in public.” 

“Awe, Tsukki’s shy. Don’t worry, you’ll s/o will help you~” Tanaka cooes. You knew you heard Tsukishima mumble something like ‘i’ll fucking.... when i have..a chance you fucking....ebhvbjnjmc’ and such. 

10 minutes of conversing, they left with Yamaguchi saying “Both of you need to bond more y’know? Like booooonnnndddddd.” 

You silently watch as Tsukishima frowns when he tries to talk and accidentally swallow a snow. Chuckling when he does so. 

He was going to leave but your smile made him stay. 

“Hey, how about we go eat?” Before he could even respond, you dragged him to a store. 

[kizykinz]

“The Reunion Chat :)” Pt 5

Pt1 Pt2 Pt3 Pt4 Pt5

Zayn- Hey are any of you going to protests?

Liam- Me and Maya are going tomorrow, why? What’s up? What do you need?

Zayn- nothing, I was just wondering. 

Harry- I’m out right now. 

Louis- same. London is crazy right now. 

Harry- La is insane, too. 

Niall- I don’t know when I’m going out but I know I am. 

Zayn- I’m not gonna go out, but I donated some money and signed petitions until my fingers hurt, same with Gi. 

Louis- Eleanor and I did too. My laptop was glitching from the amount of tabs open. 

Niall- I’ve been sharing them on my story all morning. 

Harry- It doesn’t matter if you can’t protest or donate, just sign petitions and share stories, y’know?

Niall- Yeah, I  get you. I sent links to my family for a good hour last night.  

Zayn- Black

Liam- Lives

Harry- Matter

Louis- Stay

Niall- Safe. 

~

Harry- I’m going home today!! 

Louis- You’re coming home today!!

Niall- and that’s on the two week rule.

Zayn- I’m going to London in a day or two for some meetings and to see my family. 

Louis- hm. I don’t remember asking, Zayn. 

Zayn- okay well- 

Liam- be nice oh my god.

Louis- bE nIcE oH mY goD

Liam- STOP

Louis- sToP

Niall- hehe

Liam- You’re so annoying.

Louis- yOuRe sO aNnOyIng

Liam- I hate harry styles

Louis- I’m not saying that. 

Harry- oh my god, I forgot I had a house in California. 

Zayn- you forgot? 

Niall- What? 

Harry- I JUST STAYED AT A HOTEL

Liam- jesus. 

Louis- I don’t even know what to say. YOU HAVE LIKE A MILLION HOUSES

Harry- WE HAVE A LOT OF MONEY. WE ARE FAMOUS LOUIS

Louis- YEAH BUT I’VE NEVER FORGOTTEN ABOUT A HOUSE

Niall- yikers. 

Zayn- did you just say yikers. 

Niall- yikers. 

Harry- I’m boarding the plane now, 7.4, 7, 7.8, and 10.2. I’ll talk to you when I land. 

Liam- sTop please I am begging.

Zayn- TEN POINT TWO????

Niall- expose me like that? Jesus. 

Louis- why is it so specific? Like. ??

Zayn- TEN POINT TWO?

Niall- why, do you think it’s off?

Louis- well yeah, harry is definitely not 8.8

Liam- i fucking hate it here. I’m leaving. 

Niall- oh so he’s just gonna ZAYN like that? K. 

Zayn- TEN POINT TWO. ~

Harry- I landed. 

Niall- ONTO LOUIS’ LIPS

Niall- WITH YOUR LIPS

Liam- How was the flight? 

Harry- it was nice, I slept the whole time. 

Zayn- Ni...no. Hey! That rhymes!

Niall- no, no. It doesn’t. 

Liam- you slept through a ten hour flight?

Harry- well, on and off. It was a VERY awkward flight.

Niall- Where is Louis?

Harry- He’s driving, but he says hi!

Niall- fucking knew it. 

Liam- how?

Harry- by pushing on the gas pedal?

Liam- no, how was the flight awkward?

Harry- ohhhhhh

Niall- HIT THE PEDAL HEAVY METAL SHOW ME YOU CARE

Zayn- i have a breaking point . 

Harry- there was a girl next to me that was sleeping and just BLASTING Taylor’s songs. Which, like, cool. Vibes. Good music. But, she like fucking specifically chose “Songs about Harry Styles.” I swear. so there’s that. 

Niall- HAHHA Zayn- I laughed.

Liam- And i oop-

Niall- no. 

Harry- yeah, and then there was a stewardess that kept flirting with me. 

Niall- tHeRe WaS a StEwArdEsS tHaT kEpT flIrtInG wItH mE!

Liam- ?

Zayn- what is happening. 

Niall- what? Louis can’t do it so someone had to. 

Harry- facts. 

Liam- facts. Harry just said facts. 

Harry- I’m on twitter too much i stg. 

Niall- and you never post. Me, Liam, and gigi are the only people CARRYING this fandom. 

Zayn- he didn’t technically lie. 

Liam- zayn, when do you get in?

Zayn- 2 pm, your time, tomorrow. 

Liam- yay! We’ll have to meet and catch up. 

Niall- they’re going to fuck. I bet five dollars harry. 

Harry- Ni, they’re not gay. They both have kids with women. 

Niall- so does Louis. 

Harry- Touche. 

Harry- make it ten dollars. 

~

Niall- IM SCREAMING 

Liam- what

Louis- here we go. 

Niall- SOMEONEMADE LIKE A THING WHERE ITS HARRY ADN THen ONE IS LOUIS HELP I CANTBEHDErhE

Harry- what

Zayn- you haven’t seen it? 

Harry- no? I’m so confused. 

Niall- https://vm.tiktok.com/JJnSfh7/ 

Liam- HAHAHA OH MY GOD! LOUIS!

Louis- oh my god. This is why i don’t have tiktok.

Niall- https://vm.tiktok.com/JJnjWYA/

Harry- ew. Go back. Delete. 

Zayn- that genuinely scares me so much. 

Harry- if i start crying now, i don't think i will ever stop. 

Zayn- why? Is it March 25th?

Louis- y'know what? Fuck off. 

~

Liam- ME AND ZAYN HAVE AN IDEA

Zayn- Liam has an idea. 

Liam- I HAVE AN IDEA.

Harry- deja vu 

Niall- doja cat

Louis- I can’t. 

Liam- WERE ALL IN LONDON!

Louis- we’re all in London?

Liam- YEAH! ZAYN SAID HE WAS COMING LIKE A DAY AGO IN THIS GC

Louis- I don’t pay attention to what he says. 

Zayn- sometimes you have to pretend that you’re fine and you’re really not but you couldn’t get into it because they would never understand. 

Liam- I’m just saying that it would be good to meet up somewhere and talk about the reunion. 

Zayn- I’m not in the band again, I’m just coming for emotional support from modest. 

Harry- we’re not signed with them anymore…

Zayn- Oh. 

Zayn- then im just going to bully lewis. 

Louis- lEwiS

Niall- LEWIS CAPALDI

Liam- Okay here, I’ll see you all at the Shangri-La Hotel in London at 3 am.

Niall- sir, what?

Liam- do we want people to see us and make it into a big deal…? Louis, Harry, do you want that.

Harry- i mean, I wouldn’t mind it…

Louis- no. 

Zayn- I’m still on America time so okay. 

Liam- okay. I’ll see you there. 

~

Louis- Niall?? Where are you?? You’re thirty minutes late!

Niall- sorry, sorry. I was protecting our ASSES.

Liam- please don’t touch my ass. 

Niall- someone saw you and harry go into the hotel together and then saw maya outside the doors you little shits. AND THEn, zayn’s sister said that Zayn was in London. I was doing damage control. 

Harry- that’s it?

Niall- No, I picked up food. Come get it, I’m in the lobby. 

Zayn- now this is the kind of stuff to make me stay. 

~

Harry- Happy Father’s day, boys!

Louis- Thank you, Hazza. 

Liam- THANKS!

Harry- Happy first Father’s day Zayn.

Zayn- aw, thank you H. 

Niall- Happy father’s day Liam!

Liam- ?

Louis- just liam?

Zayn- yeah um?

Niall- yeah, because he’s MY daddy. 

Zayn- that breaking point has been hit. I will now zayn. 

Niall- don’t you dare leave. 

Zayn- I-

Niall- Don’t you DARE leave. 

Harry- I actually have something to tell you all, and it’s important. You might want to sit down, Louis doesn’t even know. 

Louis- what?

Niall- fuck. Iceberg ahead. 

Harry- I’m going to be a father. 

Louis- what the fuck.

Niall- iCEBERG IS GETTING CLOSER

Liam- oh my god.

Zayn- but louis? 

Harry- I am happy to announce that I am pregnant. Me and Gigi have the same due date. Louis is the other father. 

Louis- i almost cried

Liam- ANOTHER KID LOUIS? WOW. 

Niall- iceberg had been avoided. The ship almost fucking sank.

Niall- again. 

Zayn- jesus. 

[inmyarmswrappedin]

DRUCK reactions - s4 ep3

Featuring: the clip that made me infinitely more interested in the season.

Oops, I forgot to link to the Nadia clip twitter thread. It’s there now!

(Thanks again to @wodrueckts! 💛)

CLIP 1: What is this, a tent for ants?

LISTEN. Tua is already the smallest in the girl squad, and that tent doesn’t even look like she can lay fully stretched out inside.

I was so disturbed by this that I looked up 1-person tents, and they don’t look that small! They are longer and thinner.

Amira’s mom comes outside and she’s also disturbed, but not by Amira using a toddler-sized tent, but Amira going camping at all. She’s like, we’re going to have a conversation about traveling while hijabi, but Amira isn’t in the mood.

And her mood is further spoiled because Sam texts her hoping that she can hook her up with Mohammed.

Amira’s mom brings her some pepper spray, and holy shit! Is that legal in Germany? (Answer: yes, it is, but it’s sold as “animal repellent.”)

I’ve traveled on my own before but I’ve always stayed in B&Bs, hostels or hotels. Ngl I wouldn’t even couchsurf at a stranger’s without some kind of protective device, like a portable door lock. I would never carry a weapon because you never know if you’re going to use it properly in the heat of the moment, but something like a personal alarm for runners would work in a camping setting. Take care of yourself if you’re traveling on your own!

CLIP 2: Lemonade pining

Jonas is going on about supporting sea rescue efforts of African migrants in the Mediterranean Sea, a big topic last year because of the Salvini administration (in Italy) approving a law to fine migrant rescue ships. Salvini has been ousted since, and sea rescue has disappeared from the news what with 2020 being a dumpster fire and all.

Essam, high on power, demands that his slave Amira makes him some lemonade, but I already described my issues with this storyline last week. After threatening Amira with the ever classic sibling-on-sibling physical violence, Amira relents.

Mohammed comes in as Amira is sulkily preparing some lemonade for Essam, and he makes a flirty comment about Amira’s ice cold stare again.

The sweet thing about Mohammed is that he fully admits that he finds Amira intimidating, like he totally recognizes that Amira can be unapproachable when she wants to (even though Amira M. is also one of the friendliest Sanas), but like… For one thing he doesn’t neg her about it. He’s playful about Amira being scary, but he’s not trying to bring her down. And for another, Mohammed tries to find ways in which he fits into Amira’s life or can help her in some way.

This will keep coming up with them, but it happens here when he thinks of a way to prank Essam and, as a result, cheer Amira up.

Peep at the interaction between Amira and Mohammed when they come out with the lemonade. They don’t exchange a word, but they’re such a team.

CLIP 3: Beware bicyclists

Amira, apparently still on a high since the lemonade prank, is strolling down the street singing to herself, as I believe most of us have done at some point.

Jonas asks for Amira’s help with his solidarity party, further characterizing Amira as the one they all go to for help.

Sam also texts Amira. She’s found Mohammed’s insta, which makes Amira’s face fall for a moment… Even though Mohammed keeps seeking Amira out, it feels like Sam might be able to hook up with him through sheer force of will? Or maybe Amira is kinda hoping Sam’s crush goes away, but it ain’t.

There’s something really Formal about that family photo that makes it lowkey funny, like I can imagine that pic being one Mohammed’s family sends to their relatives (caption about family and all), instead of one would post on instagram. Somehow, you can feel Mohammed’s latent dad energy just waiting to be discovered.

Even though this wasn’t the way Amira wanted to come across that pic, Mohammed just looks so damn fine that she can’t help but zoom in on his face, a Druck classic at this point.

And she’s so focused on the thirst that she almost gets run over by an islamophobic bicyclist, who thoroughly spoils her day.

This is such a Northern Europe thing btw. I think each one of my friends who has lived in the bike using part of Europe for any period of time has a story about a bicyclist yelling profanities at them. It’s like they’re saving the planet with their lack of gas use so they have to be extra dickish to compensate for their do gooding.

Amira also looks around as this happens, maybe to see if someone else witnessed what happened (for support?).

Anyway, Amira is so angry that she double texts Sam (or possibly just texts? I checked a couple times and it isn’t clear that she sent Sam the text where she translates the caption about family) to be careful with Mohammed as Arabs will fuck you over. She does a double take to herself, like she’s checking with herself that this was appropriate, and seems to decide it is.

I really dislike the context here. When this happened on Skam, it was part of a larger conversation between Sana and Noora where it was clear that Sana was repeating stereotypes in order to discourage Noora’s interest. And even in that conversation, what Sana said is that Muslim guys will sleep with white Norwegians because they put out, but in the end they marry Muslim girls. So rather than saying, he’s gonna fuck you over, Sana explains how. What Amira tells Sam is so lacking in context, so random as a response to Sam asking what the caption says, and like… You kinda have to have watched the Skam scene in order for Amira not to come across like a total dick here.

It also makes no sense because Sana knew that Noora had been hurt in the past by guys using her for sex and then discarding her, but a no strings attached hook up is exactly what Sam is after. So like… How would Mohammed wanting just sex and nothing else fuck Sam over anyway?

CLIP 4: Sam is interested in getting fucked (over)

Amira and Sam are doing boxing intervals, and Sam is a bit taken aback by how intense Amira is at something Sam is presumably doing just for fun.

Now imagine they’d actually written a scene around that difference between both girls, instead of a brief subtextual moment for us to read into.

Mohammed comes in during a pause, which Amira is using to get a bit more practice in whereas Sam is showing off to Kiki (sensing a theme they could’ve explored, here).

It looks like he’s going to go say hi to Amira, but Sam gets there first and starts flirting with him, hair twirling and all. Amira looks upset and goes back to boxing.

CLIP 5: Nadia! [crowd cheers]

At this point when the season was dropping, I was, to be completely honest, a little bored. Like the clips were cute and all, but I wasn’t excited. (Of course, you have to keep in mind that this was in comparison to my excitement levels during Matteo’s season, where so much as a glimpse of David made my synapses light up.)

I loved this clip and immediately posted a full on analysis on twitter (which you can read here if you’re interested, but I’ll be rehashing most of it in this post), and it still holds up in rewatch even though they didn’t mine the Nadia/Amira dynamic for all it was worth.

So we open on Nadia and Amira and they’re already looking tense as shit. It doesn’t help that Amira’s mom seems, like, almost relieved that Nadia hasn’t totally cut ties with Amira lmao. And she’s like, “omg you must have so much to talk about!” even though we just saw them looking quiet and uncomfortable.

Amira is all, “never thought you’d be the first one to marry,” and to Nadia’s credit, she takes this comment, which could read as shady, as a friendly observation. She talks a bit about how Ahmed is not like the other dicks, but Amira isn’t convinced, and now she’s definitely shading Nadia.

She also gets on Nadia’s case about going to Dubai for their honeymoon, but Nadia doesn’t defend herself and just looks sheepish.

Kiki comes in with some vegan cupcakes that she made to thank Amira for her help last episode, and you can see how Amira is much more at ease with Kiki. Tbf they did see each other last week, whereas we know Nadia has been out of the picture for a while. Anyway Kiki seems to feel the tension in the air, so she tries to excuse herself.

At this point, Nadia finds her voice to ask Kiki to stay. Is it because she thinks that with Kiki around conversation will flow more freely? Or maybe because she’s hoping that Amira’s irritation will be redirected to this Alman?

After Kiki admires the vegan spread Amira’s mom prepared, we find out that Nadia’s intention is the latter. She all but tells Kiki that Amira told her Kiki was a racist piece of shit. So this is how Nadia gains the upper hand after Amira’s earlier comments.

Amira looks alarmed, but Kiki is like pfff yeah, I was so into Alexander Humberbumber that I might have been the worst s1 Vilde until Amber made her appearance, but now I’m getting dicked down by a good man and I see Amira for the Muslim goddess she is (I’m paraphrasing but not that much!).

Amira looks really touched by Kiki not just 1. Not picking up Nadia’s intention, but also 2. Swiftly clearing the air and complimenting Amira in the process.

Kiki figures out that Nadia is the friend who’s getting married and declares her love for weddings of all kinds but especially Bollywood-style ones. Nadia looks really amused at this and looks at Amira like, “get a load of this girl!” Amira looks a bit embarrassed.

Sidenote to say Druck started building up to Kiki’s love of weddings last episode when she was paging through a wedding magazine spread. Like, they really put in more work into this Kiki/wedding storyline than most storylines last week.

And when Kiki asks if Nadia’s marriage was arranged, Nadia makes fun of Kiki to Amira. Like I would love to say that Nadia isn’t being mean to Kiki, but she is, and the point is to bring Amira down a notch. Now Amira really does look embarrassed, because in some way she’s supposed to be responsible for Kiki not saying something islamophobic. Kiki isn’t Amira’s responsibility, and I’m sure Nadia would agree in other circumstances, but… That’s what Amira gets for calling Nadia out for the Dubai honeymoon!

But as the conversation goes on, it also kind of seems like Nadia takes a liking to Kiki? (I’m mostly assuming because Nadia later invites Kiki to that pre-wedding event.) They talk a little bit about Nadia and Ahmed, and Kiki’s like, “I want to go to a Muslim wedding so fucking bad, Amira, please!”  It’s like… At the moment Amira is the only single female friend Kiki has, but Kiki’s just like, can’t you just get married now though.

Amira’s like NO WEDDINGS, Australia first. And tension falls around the table again, because of course, Nadia didn’t know about this, but Kiki knew about it, so like… It’s just another way in which Amira has become a different person as far as Nadia is concerned.

Let us now talk about Kiki. Like I said, I really loved this clip. In general I love Skams clips where the dynamic feels so lived in and nuanced and multifaceted. This is the first time we see Nadia in the flesh, but we get so much information just from looks and tone of voice. Nadia’s actress and Tua El-Fawwal just rock this scene.

When it aired I took Kiki’s words at face value. Like, this was the way the writers had decided to resolve Kiki being a racist in earlier seasons, and I accepted it. It wasn’t until later that I read criticism of the scene and thought about it a bit more.

In Skam, Isak apologizes to Eva in three separate scenes. In s1, episode 10, she says to Eva, “I fucked up,” “[if I had known Iben was a psycho] then of course I wouldn’t have done it.” In episode 11, “I know it might be hard to believe, but I never wanted to hurt you. It just turned out that way. I’m sorry.” And in s3, “I just want to say sorry for that stuff last year. When I was ruining things for you and Jonas.” Like. You can say that Isak only said sorry because he got caught (though I personally believe he was genuine every time, if not entirely truthful), but the point is that Julie Andem thought it necessary, in order for Isak to remain a likable character, that he apologized three times.

The girl squad never apologized to Sana, they just showed up with the Los Losers van one day.

And while Druck also thought it was necessary for Matteo to be full of self-loathing over what he did to Hanna, they didn’t think Kiki needed to apologize on screen.

One of my least favorite Skams characters is Basile Savary, because he was a total creep to the point that, during s3, Skam France had to release a damage control text out of Lucas L’s POV because people were worried that he might have done something to Daphné while she was drunk. Basile was a creep who respected no boundaries (including dry humping Daphné against her will on social media, which played off as a joke!) until one day he wasn’t and became the perfect boyfriend. No arc where he learned to be a doper person, Skam France said, no we are not going to examine how nerds get away with being gross creeps.

And as much as I would like to say otherwise, Druck did the same with Kiki. Kiki was one of the most overtly racist Vildes in s1, was still making offensive comments about Amira’s and Sam’s hair in s2, and then… Season 4 rolls around and Kiki just says, “oh yeah I was a dick before but now I know Amira is a great Muslim.” Like… At least it didn’t happen from one day to the next, but no, there wasn’t an arc where Kiki is taken to task for her racism, nor a scene where Kiki apologizes to Amira.  

This is an issue specifically because Amira’s season hinges on the Kiki/Amira friendship, like they pretty much got rid of most other conflicts or didn’t explore them fully, choosing instead to focus on this dynamic.

And I don’t think it was because Lea and Tua are such good friends irl (which they are! Lea even attended Tua’s engagement party! I love them!), because like, Tua is also good friends with Carl (Stefan) and we never got an Amira/Stefan scene, did we? I think it was simply that this season was too packed with people of color, and either funk or the writers needed a white character to anchor the season.

I still love Kiki and Amira obviously, I ship them (in fanon) and I love their scenes, because I love Lea and Tua and their friendship, and their characters. All I wanted from s4 of Skam was Vilde supporting Sana in the way Sana had supported Vilde for three seasons, and Druck gave me that. But here’s one thing where the writers dropped the ball, and it’s a massive mistake because the emotional core of the season is this friendship.

This also made me think about how the change of writers resulted in character arcs being dropped left and right. Now that two writing collectives are about to pick up Druck’s next gen, I think there’s an idea that the change in writers in the first four seasons wasn’t noticeable, but honestly… It kind of was. I would argue that a lot of the things that were set up in s1 and s2 got dropped and didn’t go anywhere. To wit:

Hanna’s arc in s1 is trashed in s4. Jonas is set up with a redemption arc in s2 that isn’t explored past that season. The Winterberg of s2 has nothing to do with the s4 ship. Kiki is still being racist in s2 and a shining example of allyship in s4. The little depth that Sam had in s1 and s2 gets dropped. Amira’s delivery job… Enough said. The one character whose character arc through the seasons was done justice I would argue is Matteo. He gets a shift in characterization after s1 to make the storyline with David make more sense (more on this if I ever write Matteo’s season meta), and retains that characterization to the end. Of the minor characters, Carlos and Abdi also come out well. David gets introduced in s3 when Q3 took over the writing, so he wasn’t affected.

Anyway, this clip totally revitalized the season.

CLIP 6: Amira praying, that’s it, that’s the clip

Mohammed is at the door waiting for Amira, and when Amira asks him if Sam is already there, he says he’s not here because of Sam. And I’m like, does he mean that literally? Like Amira could’ve assumed Sam invited him to this party, but Mohammed did meet the squads last episode. Maybe he asked Jonas if Amira was coming or got himself invited some other way.

Amira’s like sure, and gets inside. And Mohammed looks at her in such a way that even I need to fan myself a little tbh.

Hanna compliments David’s design, and Matteo’s like yeah, David is great, but I’d rather shit on Stefan. Idk, I feel like the Matteo in my mind would want to hype David up a little more before moving onto shitting on Stefan, but it’s a small quibble.

Amira goes to help Sam in the kitchen, and they both have some trouble making German food. I can’t tell if it’s because they’re generally bad at cooking or this is a commentary on white people’s palates. Or Abdi’s palate since he’s still going on about hollandaise sauce.

Oh, Sam explains that she told Mohammed about the party and he got on board. So he is there because of Sam, kinda.

They also talk about Mohammed having the coolest insta (pro: Mohammed has at least one topless pic, con: Mohammed has a pic wearing flip flops with socks), and how Abdi doesn’t compare because he doesn’t have an insta (yet). I mean… Damn, Sam. You can’t argue with logic like that.

But Sam calls Amira out on being weird lately. Again, I really wish this conversation didn’t rely so much on subtext, so it could be properly developed. Also, a new version of Snow’s Informer is playing in the background during this conversation and I can’t help but love the mood whiplash of it all.

Then something confusing happens when Jonas introduces the music act and says they come from Lebanon and traveled to Germany by train and then the lead singer says they’re from Berlin. They’re called Feedback and I tried googling them to find out what that’s all about, but with that name I didn’t get any results about them.

At least this is the kind of band that would play at an event like this, like they seem good enough to do a performance, but not big enough that there’s no believable way Jonas could book them.

Amira and Mohammed have a ~Moment~ when the audio switches to the version of Sand performed by Lary, and the sexual tension is so overwhelming for Amira that she immediately leaves to get some praying done, in the privacy of the venue’s backroom.

This scene is so iconic and beautiful. That shot of Amira being lit from above, looking up with her hands held before her? Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc. The kind of sequence that needs both a Muslim performer and behind the scenes respect for said Muslim performer.

Amira overhears some argument as she’s folding the carpet she was using, and then she sees that Mohammed was blocking the door, so that she could pray in peace. Can we get a #notallmen here? Thanks. Again, Mohammed just finds little ways in which he can help and support Amira without being intrusive.

Mohammed compliments Amira’s friends for trying to help refugees (although sea rescue is more about migrants in general, rather than refugees). I think something that is lost in translation is that German is obviously not Mohammed’s first language, so I think this scene is more significant and subtext-laden for German speakers.

Amira is probably still smarting from her earlier run in with the racist biker, so she (who’s always said she wants to be Chancellor) says that Jonas will probably become Chancellor one day. Mohammed says no! Amira should be Chancellor, but Amira doesn’t think anyone wants that. 🙁 But Mohammed says he does, and he says “we” need someone who fights for “us” (which Amira probably interprets as “us Muslims,” but Mohammed might mean more like, “us refugees”).

Also, Mohammed thinks that Amira was trying to matchmake him with Sam, which we know it was more like the opposite, but it’s very in line for Mohammed to think Amira was trying to get rid of him.

Then Mohammed asks Amira for her phone and is all, “don’t you trust me?” and Amira’s like, “no,” which is hilarious. After a while, Amira wants her phone back and Mohammed notices Amira accidentally cut herself with the knife earlier. He puts a cute bandaid on it, and they have yet another Moment. They’re so into each other that Amira goes, “omg I love this song! Let’s go in!” But Mohammed is now sure his feelings are requited.

Social media

Kiki slept at the new apartment even though it’s falling apart, a sign that that she can’t stand being at her mom’s house. Later, Zoe texts her and Kiki says she’ll be available whenever Zoe needs her, but she also just… doesn’t want to live at her mom’s.

Matteo and David (but really just Lukas) attended the Berlin CSD (Pride) march.

Mia posts a pic of a cortado coffee, and I totally believe this was taken in Madrid. 👌

Carlos missed the Abiball because he failed his History resit, then he missed Jonas’ birthday because he was sick, and this week he’s visiting Brandenburg with Kiki, and what I’m getting from all this is that maybe Carlos’ actor had other commitments during this time lol.

Amira and Mohammed both post pics acknowledging their Moment under the lights/with the bandaid, showing Amira is getting more emotionally committed to this relationship.

Final thoughts

While I did have some issues with this episode, it was much more solid overall than episode 2. Nadia’s actress really delivered in her intro clip and I wish they’d explored that dynamic a bit more, but the character kind of takes a backseat after this. Although I don’t feel like Amira and Mohammed have a motif or object that they keep revisiting (like Jonas and Hanna with Hanna’s nose, or Mia and Alex with Hotel Hardenberg, or David and Matteo with the sandwiches*), I like their dynamic where Mohammed is supportive of Amira’s endeavors, which this episode solidifies. I also really love the significance of Amira getting to complete her prayer thanks to Mohammed. In Skam, Sana gets constantly interrupted until later in the season, where she gets to pray for all her friends.

[* I thought about this a bit more, and I think one motif Mohammed and Amira share is music, and singing to each other.]

I discussed this episode with Michi, and we came to the conclusion that the root conflict between Amira and Nadia is that Amira feels like that, to be with a man, is to compromise yourself and your principles. Nadia didn’t use to be the person who’d be the first to marry, or who’d go on a honeymoon to Dubai, and Amira sees that chance as Nadia losing sight of her ideals. But, in the last clip, Mohammed’s actions allow Amira to be who she fully is, and to finish her prayer. So the idea is planted, that Amira wouldn’t necessarily have to compromise her principles if she got into a relationship. Of course, Mohammed is probably one of the people who’d most compromise Amira’s ideals if she were to date him, but we’re not at that point yet.  

[watchingminecraftyansim]

Post 4 - Oh God Oh Fuck Isabelle Procrastinated

Now you may think this post is late, but have you considered that time is just early? No, because that’s stupid and I was tired, but we’re here now, so let’s talk about episode 5 Yandere High School roleplay series by SamGladiator on YouTube, on Saturday instead of a Friday. Because I am a professional who definitely was not playing Red Dead Redemption 2 instead of doing this.

The episode starts with Sam waking up, and Taurtis is in the bathroom, claiming he doesn’t feel too good because he ate too many Doritos. Sam, being the good friend he is barges into the bathroom against Taurtis’ requests. Because of their supposed lack of toilet paper, Taurtis reveals that he’s been using bank notes to wipe his ass, even though there looks to be a full roll of toilet paper right next to the toilet. Before the boys leave Taurtis decides to play Gamecube for all of 5 seconds before Sam tells him that he needs to get going. Before they head to school Taurtis checks the mail, which he reads out in the pouring rain, no doubt getting it ruined. Sam is of the same mind as me and tells Taurtis to get out of the rain with the fan art. Sam runs in the rain while Taurtis scolds him, citing the Mythbusters episode where it was found that running in the rain gets you wetter. Before we can get too far into that line of discussion we see that Teacher Gareth’s house has been cordoned off as a crime scene, his ex-wife is missing, and he just looks terrible, with ripped clothing and bags under his eyes. When the boys get to the convenience store, we see that it now has ~~comic books~~ manga as well as food, only HunterXHunter though, someone more familiar with manga can say if this is acceptable or not. Taurtis and Sam grab some manga, bread, Taurtis gets some doritos despite what happened just that morning, and they get condensed comedy as well, and by that I mean a piece of meat labeled dog. East Asian country eats household pets. You may laugh now. When paying for his stuff Taurtis decides to fuckin’ showe CrabManCarl with money, Sam promptly intervenes, picking up the money and saying that they needed to save that money to give to Teacher Gareth to prove Taurtis sold the most cookies. We also see JtsTheDane again, aka the best character in this entire series, I will not be accepting criticism on this now or ever, have a good day. We also see an advertisement for the cinematic masterwork, Shrek, on the billboard outside of the convenience store, with Jts stating that he heard it was going to be “shrektastic”. We then see Jay has gotten a new car, with a massive spoiler, the kind that goes on the back of cars, not the kind that tells you Paul Blart kills Thanos in Endgame. The boys then ask Jay why he always has a new car every time they come to school, and Jay says he just likes cars and I mean… I guess, can’t fault a man for that. 

The boys finally enter school and Sam tries to see if  he’s now popular due to him being accused of breaking and entering on Twitter and immediately fucks up mentioning how SoulOwl hasn’t fully recovered from molting. Invader asks why Sam didn’t text her back last night, Sam responds by saying he was busy, and they’re not even dating, Taurtis tells him it’s Facebook official, after he got into Sam’s Facebook account when he forgot to log off of his computer and made it Facebook official. Log out of your accounts when you’re not using them kids. As we get into teacher Gareth’s room we see that he has a rope on the board… oh no. But before we can get too concerned class starts, with Gareth doing roll call and introducing us to a new student, ChanYandere, protagonist of the hit perpetually-in-development-game-since-2013, Yandere Simulator. At this point, if you’re still waiting for it, swallow your weeb pride and play Hitman. It’s good, it’ll be better than YandereSim, and it isn’t made by a garbage person. But this blog isn’t about Hitman or Yandere Simulator, it’s about SamGladiator, so moving on we learn that her hobbies include reading manga, playing video games, and playing the piano, this is converse to Yandere-Chan in YanSim, whose personality is that she has none. Then we get to the results of the cookie selling competition, and it turns out that Sam didn’t actually even need to save Taurtis from spending all that money as he just mailed in the results to teacher Gareth, and Taurtis actually won the cookie selling competition. To celebrate his victory he runs to the front of the class and punches Jay for no discernible reason and dances on his desk. Taurtis then goes up and stands on the teacher’s desk to explain his strategy of selling his cookies to the convenience store. Taurtis answers questions while blatantly ignoring Sam, until Sam jumps out of his seat to ask his question, which was if he could read HunterXHunter volume 2 when Taurtis was done with it, he got a no. Taurtis also gets his GameCube back, revealing the one that they stole was not the one that Gareth originally took from them, begging the question, who’s GameCube did they steal? We then get the class’ homework assignment, which is to write a poem, and Gareth tells everyone that they can join a club by signing up at the main office. Now that is just one step away from a club where you write poems, and if one of the inde hits of 2017 has taught me anything that can only go well. Yes I heard poems in a highschool setting and wanted to shoehorn in a Doki Doki Literature Club reference in based on the fact that I like it and being the sole proprietor of this blog no one can tell me no. The bell then rings and Gareth tells the students to have a nice life, which causes Taurtis to do something responsible, to take away the rope in Teacher Gareth’s room, and try and cheer him up by giving him Doritos. This sounds like the part where I go,”Nah I’m fuckin’ with ya they do [bad thing]”, but no, they actually do something kind of good, and I am proud of them for that. I say them, it was just Taurtis who did this, but still. This somewhat backfires however as Doritos were Gareth’s ex-wife’s favorite food. Oops. 

Before heading to lunch the boys pop into the computer club, where they see on Sookie’s fumblr page that Sam and Taurtis killed someone, which, I don’t think actually happened. We also then get a look at ~~Twitter~~ Fwot’er, what the fuck is that name? We see Jay’s tweet about Sam and Taurtis breaking into Gareth’s house, and an advertisement for Paul Blart Mall Cop. I am sure this movie advertisement is a one off gag like the others and will not come back to have Kevin James’ Paul Blart appear in the series. PowerDragon then asks if they want to join the club, but they decline, saying they’re probably gonna go to the manga club instead, and were just looking around. Before they leave to go eat their lunch Sookie asks Sam if he actually killed someone, which he responded no to, in a very unconvincing way, and Taurtis’ very half hearted assurance that Sam didn’t kill anyone doesn’t help matters, but Sookie seems convinced enough. Sam and Taurtis then go to sign up for the anime club, and they learn that Jay is the president of it, so they go talk to him about the details of it. They go sit with Jay and see that Chan is also in the anime club as well. Jay tells the boys that the club will be at his house after school, and before they can talk too much about that Jts and PrimegamerJC are showering everyone at lunch with a lot of Mountain Dew and Doritos. Taurtis joins in throwing money along with the Mountain Dew and Doritos. Chan offers to share some carrots with Sam, but sam declines saying that he’s eating Dog, and when everyone seems weirded out, he says that he was joking about eating it. After this Sam and Taurtis agree to go to Jay’s house after school to talk about Manga and work on their poems. The episode ends with the bell ringing indicating that it is time for gym class.

I don’t really have too many thoughts about this episode, it is taking a bit for the series to get going, hence why I sort of slacked off on getting this episode out. I know a lot of interesting stuff happens later, but these first few episodes are boring, especially with me not being able to blast through them to get to the interesting bits like I am usually able to with other things. But tune in next time to listen to some weebs talk about manga, as well as seeing what crazy shenanigans Rowan has planned for gym class.

[mad-madam-m]

So I posted about this on Twitter but I forgot to update here: I finished the Tiger & Bunny historical AU I’ve been working on since July this weekend. I thought it was going to be about 30k at the outside.

It. Uh. Was not.

Oops? XD

Still needs to be edited---it still so very much needs to be edited---but WOO. DRAFT IS DONE.

I’m gonna sleep for a week.

[ladytp]

(EDIT: Oops, I thought I had posted this already a while ago but apparently forgot, as it still sat in my drafts... D’oh!)

The second and the last chapter of my Sansan Christmas in July 2019 fic to @sincerelydayyy, “Jumping from the Ropes” takes us into the conclusion of this short and hopefully sweet story… “The Jump” is also up at AO3. Merry Christmas in July once again!

Sansa

The Hound had been right: the shit did hit the fan soon after.

Bobby Baratheon suffered a massive cardiac arrest, and while he was recuperating in the hospital, his wife and co-owner Cersei Lannister called a meeting of the WWA board and announced a ‘friendly’ takeover with her and Joffrey at its helm. The board agreed, and sooner than one could say ‘contractual obligations’, Ned Stark was out of a job.

He took it well though, telling Sansa that he preferred not to work for ‘that woman’ anyway. In a family meeting it was decided that Ned would fly home and consider his next step back in the North, while Sansa would finish her semester before following him.

As for the Hound, Sansa saw him in the shows, of course, defending his championship and delivering his characteristic brusque promos, threatening to gut any of the ‘gnats’ who imagined themselves to be a match for him.

He saw her too, often glancing in her direction during the show and between the matches. Sansa was usually seated in the prime seating area – advantages of the Premier Pass she had received from her father and which even Cersei in her pettiness hadn’t revoked. That meant that she was close enough to the action to be fully aware of his looming presence and attention – which, however, was quickly withdrawn when she looked back at him.

Only once had he and Sansa spoken, and that more by accident than by design. She had gone backstage after the show, and when turning the corner, had almost collided with him, only her abrupt halt preventing a head-on crash. Instead, she had found herself eye level with his sweaty, heaving chest, covered with dark hair.

While Sansa had murmured her apologies, he had asked what she was doing there and if she was looking for someone. Then Joffrey had walked past and greeted her – and The Hound had slid away without another word.

Still assailed by the intensity of their meeting at the party, Sansa had stooped as low – as per her usual standards – as to find out everything she could about him from the internet, searching by both his ring-name and his real name, Sandor Clegane. His biography was scanty, he rarely featured in news or articles outside the usual wrestling sites, and his social media presence was non-existent. His only entry on Twitter, apparently forced upon the employees by the WWA, was a one-liner, “So here I am – enjoy”, not followed by any other tweets.

Even adding “girlfriend” after his real or ring-name didn’t bring up any hits in Google – which was unusual by itself. If not real news, most wrestlers’ profiles were inundated with gossip and speculation about who they were dating or not – but not him.

All she could glean from her search was his career development from a solitary youth, who had discovered pro-wrestling as an outlet to whatever demons he had on his back - and now Sansa knew what they were – via indie circles, hard-core death-matches and small promotions, all the way to the WWA. That, and that the cause of his scars was universally accepted to be a house-fire in his bedroom when he had been just a child - just as he had first told. His brother’s – another wrestler in the WWA under the ring-name ‘The Mountain’ – web entries had lots of information about his career, but no hints about the atrocity he had committed.

---

It was the day of Sansa’s departure. She had packed all her belongings and sent most of them ahead by airfreight, leaving only one carry-on bag to take with her on her flight.

She eyed her room for the last time. It had been a good year and she had enjoyed every moment of it, and part of her felt sorry to leave it all behind, but another part was keen to get back home to her family and friends. This year things were going to be different for her: she was going to move away from her parents’ house, possibly with her best friend Jeyne. She was going to focus on finishing her studies, maybe get a part-time job… she was going to start her adult life for real.

Sansa sighed and glanced at her watch. She still had a few more hours to kill before she had to be at the airport so she decided to pay one last visit to her favourite café only a block away.

Stepping out of the front door, she was hit by a blast of brilliant sunshine. The weather was warm and there was a hint of spring in the air, lifting her spirits even higher. The sun in her eyes blinded her so that when she first heard the humming sound of a car engine slowing down beside her and heard a shout, she had to squint her eyes and cover her brow to see better.

“Little Bird!”

The car was big and black, one of those four-wheel utility drives favoured by rugged outdoorsmen and adventurers with extra cash. The tinted side window lowered and she saw the man driving it.

The Hound.

“Hello,” was all she could manage, surprised by his unexpected appearance. Why was he here – had he come to find her? Or maybe it was just a coincidence that he was driving by at that precise moment?

“You have a minute?”

The car had stopped right next to her, but the motor was still running. If she said no, explaining that she was in a hurry, would he take her at her word and drive away?

The thing was, she didn’t feel like saying no.

“I do have a moment, but not much more than that,” she said, bending to peer through the window. She saw the same big black dog on the backseat, its ears perking up as it saw her. The Hound reached for the door handle and with a click, the door opened.

Once Sansa had settled in the seat, the Hound steered the car to the first available parking spot and stopped, this time turning the ignition off. The silence following the death of the motor was deafening - he didn’t even have a radio on.

“So, how are you?” Sansa asked. That’s what people ask after not seeing each other for a while, don’t they?

“I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving WWA?”

“Everything.” The Hound’s hands rested on the steering wheel, which looked awfully small in comparison. The backs of his hands were hairy but his fingers were unexpectedly long and there was something delicate in the way he slowly rubbed the spokes of the wheel, probably not even realising he was doing it.

“I told Cersei she can shove my contract where the sun doesn’t shine and packed my bags. I’m done with the Baratheons and Lannisters.”

Well, he had told her so, so Sansa wasn’t terribly surprised.

“What do you plan to do?” she asked, out of genuine interest.

“Don’t know yet. I could be a free agent for a while, wrestle in indie circles.” He looked at Sansa then. “I think I’ll leave the city, go somewhere else for a while. North, maybe.”

Sansa’s heart started to race. It was quite ridiculous, really. What was it to her what he decided to do? In the name of mutual sharing, she decided, however, to tell him about her plans.

“I’m leaving too. As a matter of fact, I have to be at the airport shortly for my flight to Wintertown.”

“I know.”

“How?”

“Cersei told me.”

“She did?” Sansa remembered mentioning her departure in the parting email she had sent to Bobby and Cersei. They had been welcoming to her and her father when they had first arrived and it was only good manners to bid them farewell, no matter how things between their families had ended. Besides, Ned and Bobby’s friendship still endured, and Bobby had sworn to pay his old friend a visit as soon as he had recovered enough to do so.

The Hound turned to her fully. “I could give you a ride.”

“That’s very nice of you, but I’ll be fine. I only have a carry-on bag and I can easily take an Uber,” Sansa said.

She wouldn’t have really minded accepting the offer, but what would have been the point of it? They were probably not going to see each other again, and the awkwardness of their interactions was unlikely to pass during the short drive to the airport. There was something between them, Sansa had realised over the last few weeks, something that had been ignited that evening at the university party. Something unsure and fragile, something that was more of a promise of potential rather than a thing on its own.

Yet it didn’t matter. Even should he move to the North and wrestle there, their life situations were so far apart that…

“I didn’t mean to the airport.”

Sansa’s trail of thought was so abruptly interrupted, she was confused at first. If not to the airport, then –

Oh!

“You can’t mean Wintertown? It’s halfway across the country!”

“I know.” Seemingly realising that it was not enough, The Hound continued. “I like driving. And I’d hate to confine Stranger in one of those crates for the flight. And I couldn’t leave him behind.” He reached to scratch the ear of the dog, who had poked its head between the seats. Sansa looked at the dog warily. Those breeds had a reputation, after all.

“Go on, pat him. He’s a big sook,” The Hound urged – and she did. The dog’s fur was silky and soft and its nose, when it sniffed her hand, was cold and wet. Tentatively, it licked her fingers.

Sansa’s head was whirling. For her, the notion was crazy. It would take at least four or five days to drive up, whereas in a plane it would be a matter of hours. She would be back at home this same night, embraced by her mother and her many siblings. Why should she even consider such an offer?

“That’s a very long drive,” she offered. As if he didn’t know.

“They say the route along the coast is pretty. And the scenery in the Vale is supposed to be breathtaking. I might take a few side trips. Haven’t seen enough of this country, as it is.”

The Hound glanced out of the window, which he had wound down when they had stopped. He might have appeared nonchalant and not caring a whit whether Sansa accepted his offer or not, but his fingers, tapping against the wheel at an increasing tempo, gave him away.

He is nervous, Sansa realised, to her astonishment. And something warm started to bloom inside her chest.

Every sensible brain cell in her head screamed 'NO' – it would be the height of stupidity to ditch the plane and join a man she hardly knew for such a long ride. Gods, if her mother knew she was even passingly contemplating it, she would have a fit.

And yet, every cell in her body and every nerve-ending that was ignited by his proximity screamed 'YES'.

She would be safe with him. It didn’t make sense to think so, but deep in her core, Sansa knew it to be so. True, he was a gamble, all odds stacked against him – but maybe he was worth the risk.

“Okay, then,” she breathed out.

The fingers stopped their drumming and The Hound stiffened. His eyes widened and brows lifted so high that it actually looked a bit comical, and Sansa had to stifle her instinct to giggle.

“Okay what?”

“I accept your offer. I need to call the airline to cancel my ticket – luckily it’s fully flexible – and get my bag from my room, and then we can be on our way.” She glanced at the back of the car and saw two large suitcases and a couple of boxes. “Do you have all your stuff with you already?”

“You’re for real?” The Hound stared at her, brows furrowed. “I mean… we wouldn’t have to take any side tours. And we could drive just as fast and directly as you want. And stay in proper hotels for the nights – in separate rooms, of course.”

Was that a flush creeping up his face? Sansa’s amusement grew. He was like a dog chasing after a car, who didn’t know what to do when one actually stopped.

“I’d certainly hope so; I hardly know you. But side trips would be fine. I haven’t seen enough of this country myself.”

Getting no answer from his flustered companion, Sansa clutched her handbag in her lap and straightened herself in her seat. “Well, I better get my things and make the necessary calls. Can you take us into the parking lot next to my building, the big red one in front of which you saw me?”

It took a moment longer before The Hound acted, turning the ignition on and manoeuvring the car around.

“What should I call you, then? I think ‘The Hound’ may not be quite appropriate. I know your real name is Sandor – do you mind if I call you that?” Sansa asked while he was reversing into an empty spot.

“Ah, yeah, sure – call me Sandor,” he muttered, seemingly still in shock at the turn of events.

“My name is Sansa, not a Little Bird. Can you wait for just a moment, Sandor? I’ll be right back.”

When Sansa climbed the stairs to her room, something vibrant and exciting started to bubble inside her. She felt lightheaded and couldn’t stop grinning. The whole thing was outlandish and bizarre and against all common sense.

It was… as if she had just climbed up the turnbuckle again and was standing high up, looking into the bright lights of the stadium, into the middle of the ring, so far away. She was nervous, she was anxious – but it felt right. Sandor was going to be there to catch her if she leapt.

It was time to jump from the ropes.

                            -- THE END --

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Opposites Attract

Summary: When Grayson, the dreamer and Y/N, the realist finally get their chance of a life together, they’ll soon realize that although opposites attract, being polar opposites is only perfect on paper. Can they make it work or will their almost epic romance remain just that; an almost.

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, implied smut

Word count: 26.8k+

Author’s note - This can be a standalone, but I highly suggest you read Polar Opposites first if you haven’t already. A big thanks to everyone who read/reblogged or sent any kind of feedback on the first one, because I really didn’t expect it to be so well received. I’m really nervous about posting this, so I hope you like it. It’s a longer one, so settle in and get a snack. Enjoy!

She pulls the pillow closer to her chest, gnawing on her bottom lip. Grayson doesn't even look up, choosing to stare at his fidgety fingers in his lap instead. Neither know how to verbalize what they feel, both feeling suffocated and troubled by everything.

"Maybe we were wrong." Y/N says quietly, taking a few short breaths in order to stop a choked sob from escaping her lips. Grayson looks up with furrowed eyebrows, torn about his own feelings and now the words coming from her mouth.

"Maybe we're just too different to make this work." She finished her initial statement, resting her chin on the purple pillow in her grasp to avoid Grayson's gaze.

Silence settles, finding a way to crack their hearts and the sound of their broken hearts shattering on the ground is almost deafening for Y/N to take. Instead of remaining quiet as Grayson is, she continues to speak in hopes of him talking her out of this. She wants him to be the dreamer she met, the same guy who wouldn't let her walk away from everything they've built without a fight. But he doesn't seem to be that guy anymore.

He doesn't seem to be her Grayson.

"Opposites attract on paper, but how often do those stories have a happy ending? Were we wrong from the start?"

It's probably best we rewind a little and take this story back where we left off?

It's been five hours since she got on the plane, still feeling the ghost of Grayson's kiss upon her dry lips. With her eyes closed, the memory of yesterday unfolds again and again while her heart helplessly aches for the man she left behind. She licks her lips once, twice, and takes three deep breaths to calm her sorrowful mind. If she were to let her thoughts about Grayson run wild, she'd never dry her eyes. It's ridiculous how deeply he had touched her soul and how that very soul burned with a desire to be by his side once more. It's almost unbearable, the distance growing every moment she spends in the air.

While she clung to the lingering scent of Grayson's cologne on the clothes he let her borrow, Grayson was anxiously waiting for her to land. Of course, do to her location and two different connective flights, Grayson knew it would take her almost an entire day to get home and be in a good position to contact him. He worried if her head still hurt or if her stitches came undone. He worried if her scraped hands could carry the duffel bag she dragged alongside her. He worried if she might be cold or if she's feeling lonely. Hell, he even worried if she's hungry or thirsty.

Needless to say, Grayson's been driving his older brother insane with his constant questions about her well-being that have long stopped being only inside his head, but became very vocal and outspoken.

The first thing he did after coming home was to get her information out of his desk and make sure he followed her on both Twitter and Instagram, adding her on Snapchat and putting her number and e-mail in his phone. The next thing was to find the plane she was supposed to be on and follow the progress online. The third was to walk in circles around the home he shared with his brother, cleaning and cooking to keep himself busy.

That's how he found it.; her purple, leather jacket.

Grayson practically screamed once he realized what he's holding, turning it over quickly a couple of times to make sure he didn't mistake it for his own jacket. However, the jacket in his hands is a couple sizes too small for him and the clear rips over the elbow area signaled it's hers.

He thought he put it in her bag. He was almost certain about it and the fact that he didn't ticked him off immediately. Not only did her ruin it when she fell, but now he felt like he stole it from her as well.

Despite the guilt washing over him, Grayson brings her jacket to his nose, inhaling her scent. His lips spread, the corners twitching upwards to form a wide smile once he feels her perfume still lingers. And he no longer feels guilty, but happy over this little accident.

This way, he can still hold her. He can still be near her for a while.

Although he knew it would take her some time to respond, Grayson sent her his very first message. He held up the leather jacket by his face and gave her his best 'Oops' face, sending the photo with a short message.

Accidentally became a thief. I swear I didn't do it on purpose. When you can, please let me know you're safe.

Almost twenty hours later, a small ping had distracted him from filming a new video and Ethan didn't even try to hide his dissatisfied groan at the lack of focus his brother displayed that entire day.

"I'm going to smash it, bro. Just try and answer it." Ethan deepened his voice, trying to seem calm and collected with a threatening tone which only reaffirmed what Grayson refers to as his 'cool voice'.

Grayson, however, didn't care about what his brother had to say. He heard a damn ping, one out of many that came through since she left and although not one of those pings were actually from her, he was convinced that this particular ping is. No threat or violent smack at the top of his head would stop him from checking his phone.

He stood up abruptly, crossing the room in three quick strides to grab his phone. Unlocking it, his eyes lit up at the Lil Birdie message on his Snapchat. He was still deciding if he should call her his Lil Birdie or Sunshine, but for now, Lil Birdie lighting up his screen will be the phrase to make his heart hammer inside his chest.

Safe and sound. If you're free, maybe we can video chat? Just a few minutes, because I'm dead and ready to sleep.

His eyes widen, unaware how his precious Y/N is barely awake on the other side of the world, struggling to keep her eyes open in case he's able to talk.

She taps her fingers nervously at the back of her phone, gnawing on the inside left corner of her bottom lip until a ringing sound scares her and her heart rate skyrockets. With a shaky finger, she taps the green phone icon on her display and lifts the phone up just a little above face level to hide her double chin from Grayson.

No need for him to see that, she thought.

"Miss me already?" Grayson drags out his words, accentuating the last part, smirking when she rolls her eyes at him only a second into their conversation.

"Don't be so cocky, Grayson." She warns with a playful tone, pursing her lips ever so slightly. She has no idea how happy her outspoken, no - holding - back way of talking makes him. She's reserved with everyone outside her inner circle and hearing her talk back or roll her eyes at him openly gives him life.

"I can't believe you forgot to pack my jacket. I mean, sure it's ruined now, but I hoped to fix it. It's literally my favorite piece of clothing. I adore it." She gushes, her voice getting deeper and more desperate with every word she spoke and Grayson couldn't help but feel his insides melt with the sheer passion in her tone. If she speaks that way about an item as trivial as a jacket, he could only imagine how good it would feel to hear her talk about him once she officially gives him her heart.

"Sorry, Lil Birdie. It will be waiting for you when you come back, 'kay? I promise I'll keep it." Grayson crosses his index and third finger to signify a promise and she presses her lips together before sighing.

"More reason for me to come back, then." She forces a smile, her eyes half closed and Grayson finally realizes she's barely holding on to her waking state. But she's doing it for him and that gives him a sense of pride, like he matters. He matters and not just to anyone, but to her.

"Thank you for calling me. I really only expected a text. Get some sleep, Lil Birdie." Though his words are meant to get her to sleep and feel better, his heart wishes her to refuse and stay a little longer.

She does too. It's like saying goodbye to him is becoming an ongoing torture and all she wants to do is grab him by his face and put her lips on his. But she can't, so she just nods. When she nods, blows him a kiss and turns the camera off, Grayson felt his heart sink a little and his face dropped.

Y/N fell asleep almost instantly, Grayson still on her mind. Grayson, however, spent the next few hours filming the end to their video with her on his mind. All he wanted was to wrap her up in his arms and feel her heart beating against his chest. But he couldn't.

Once he all but collapsed on his bed, sleeping alone felt foreign to him. In one night, Y/N managed to crawl into every part of his life and now everything reminded him of her and how he wanted her with him.

Everything, even sleeping in his bed.

He turned on the lights and hugged a pillow to his chest, finding a fading scent of her perfume could still be felt on his sheets. And with the comfort of her smell, Grayson's mind drifts to her face and slowly falls asleep.

"So my parents freaked out." She giggles, rubbing her eyes like she just woke up despite it being four o'clock in the afternoon.

"Can't blame them. I did run you over with my car and then made you miss your flight." Grayson's index finger lingers on his chin, his cheeks puffing before he exhales and drags his lips into a Joker type of grin.

"And you stole my jacket!" She reminds him, shifting the phone in her hand to get better lighting and provide her man with a better image of her to memorize. Despite knowing he's enthralled by her, she's undeniably insecure about her looks. It's a constant fear that Grayson will finally see all the faults she sees in herself and run for the hills, leaving her in the dust.

"You'll never let that go, will you?" Grayson suppresses a groan, biting the right corner of his bottom lip gently.

"It just happened yesterday!" Y/N exclaims, chuckling and though he tries to hide the way her laugh makes his heart flutter, a bright smile creeps up to his lips and betrays every little thing she does to him.

And she really does things to him.

"I promise to make it up to you." Grayson winks and quirks his right eyebrow suggestively.

Y/N blushes with the dirty thoughts flooding her mind, imagining every possible way he could make it up to her, but quickly shakes her head to stop the oncoming hurricane of emotions. Thinking about being so close to him again caused her skin to hurt, not just her heart.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Dolan." She smirks, returning his wink with a sexier version as her lips part ever so slightly in the process. Grayson's jaw drops and he's forced to lick his lips to keep his desires inside only. It's too soon to openly talk about sex, he decides.

"I can't wait to see you again." He whispers, dropping his head on the pillow behind him and sighs.

"Right back at you." She smiles softly.

A distant shout is heard on her side of the line and she frowns, looking away from the camera and to her right.

"Eto me za minutu! (In a minute!)" She shouts back in her native tongue and Grayson can't help but think her talking in a foreign language (foreign to him, at least) is ridiculously hot. It makes her that much more attractive in his eyes and he never knew that would be a turn on. Thanks to Y/N, Grayson's learning new things about himself as well and that's never a bad thing.

"You gotta go?" He asks sweetly, his forehead wrinkling and eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly that she wishes to be by his side to smooth the skin over with her fingertips' gentle touch.

"Yeah. I'll text you before going to bed, again." Her face falls and her lips quiver for split second. It's such a small change in her behavior that many would overlook and yet, Grayson finds himself becoming an expert in reading Y/N Y/L/N. It's because he cares about her. It's because he wants to know every little thing that goes through her mind and keep her thoughts and dreams to himself, for safe keeping. He wants to share her burdens and let her feel alright again. It's no wonder he keeps a lookout for any movement she makes, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

"I'll probably text you a hundred times before that." Grayson smiles, knowing he has to let her go and face the black screen of his phone again.

"I know." She responds, sending him a kiss and ending the chat.

What she didn't know is that every kiss she sent, Grayson caught in his hand and brought it to his lips, hoping for the ghost kisses to turn into real ones someday soon.

No one knows what distance means until you're forced to part with someone dear to your heart.

For Grayson, it was a loneliness in every waking hour, even when he's surrounded by people around the clock.

For Y/N, it was like each tick of the clock brought a new ache to her heart, like scar tissue burning with desire to be whole once more.

They longed for each other night and day, talking and texting 24/7.

They began to dread a possibility of Y/N not getting into UCLA, though neither voiced those concerns. No, they were far too involved in studying each other's faces and listening to every sound they'd make.

Y/N found herself falling for Grayson's unusually booming laughter and that wheeze that came with it when he truly found something so hilarious he could hardly breathe and despite it being selfish and weird, she liked being the reason behind that wheeze.

Grayson decided he's entranced by the way she purses her lips and raises her eyebrows whenever she schools him, proving she's right. He loved how brilliant her ideas for their videos are, but so did Ethan. They were already filming a video based on her ideas and it was the first out of three they would make. He could only imagine what it would be like when she joined them for real.

But the wait was torture.

Until it wasn't.

"I got in!" She squealed into the phone, jumping in place as Grayson ran through the house toward Ethan screaming the good news in a way Ethan was sure their entire neighborhood knew it too.

Once they calmed down enough to talk, they couldn't stop their dopey smiles from shining through and they both thought the same thing: we'll be together soon.

"Not only did I get into UCLA, but the dorm too and that's so hard to get into! I can't believe it's actually happening. Like I'm actually going to be there!" Her excited tone made Grayson happy, so undeniably happy for her.

But there was one issue.

"Dorm? You're not going to live here with me and E.?" Grayson questions, a little defensive and definitely shocked by this portion of the news he didn't see coming. He was so sure she'd stay with him and he'd be able to drive her to and from classes whenever she needed him. He wanted her to take up that spot in his bed that he'd stare at every night wishing she was there with him, the same spot he deemed hers from the start. He expected her to at least want to live with him, to try. And he's aware how completely insane his feelings are, how overwhelming they might be for her so he tones it down to a minimum, knowing he'll scare her off if he's too aggressive with the image of their future he's had in his mind for a while now.

Ever since the Psychic twins told him he's going to meet his soulmate on camera and that she'll be his polar opposite off camera, he was skeptical.

But then he met her.

Y/N Y/L/N rocked his world and turned it upside down and he didn't care that she did, because he never felt more alive. He never felt more convinced that this girl really was the one. She wasn't like the ones from his past that would delude him into believing there was something true there. She is ice to his fire as he is light to her darkness.

"It would be too weird. I mean, your fans would find out fast and I just don't want you to have to explain everything. Also, I'd really like to experience living on my own, with my own expenses instead of munching off you. Last thing I need is to depend on someone when I'm over there and I just really wanna do this on my own. We'll still see each other all the time." She reasons with him, and her reasons sound legitimate. It's all true, but Grayson wants more. He respects her and her decisions, but he doesn't want her to struggle when she moves. He wants her to have money to live comfortably at least and he wants her to focus on her studies instead of a part time job she'd barely earn anything doing or one where people would be horrible to her. What he wanted for her is to live this dream and to get a chance to do all the things she wanted to do.

It's when he formulated a plan. Well, two plans to be exact and both made to specifically allow him to take care of her and her not knowing it. It would be his secret, slightly shameful, but his actions are driven with good intentions.

It's also the first of many mistakes he'll make that would lead them astray and push them apart more than any of the outside forces they'll deal with.

"Yeah. That's great. Got my full support." He smirked.

"But you should apply to a couple of foundations that help international students with their money issues." He suggests slyly, awaiting for her reaction but only getting a small shrug for his efforts.

"They usually ask for something in return after college and I'm not sure I can deliver."

"I know a few from my friends and they don't ask for anything but good grades. I'll send you some names." Grayson smiles, already texting his manager.

Set up a fake foundation for me to fund an international student and make sure it can't be traced back to me.

"Hey! I'm about to leave and I wanted to give you a heads up. I know you have all my flight info packed away in that beautiful mind of yours, but I also know you tend to forget stuff from time to time. So! Here's a reminder to buy that horde of baby ducks you were talking about to prank Ethan and don't forget to take your antihistamines first in case you run into some other animals in the shop! And don't forget you have to see the doctor about that sinus infection and make sure it cleared up, okay? I'll be there in a day to help you survive. Oh, and please keep the ducks somewhere so I can pet them!"

Y/N took a deep breath, looking at her tearful parents and older sibling, her heart breaking in two. This country, no matter how bad is still her home. It's where she grew up and it's where she became the person she is. Yes, she might be rough around the edges, but she's most definitely not a bad person. Quite the opposite. She's good and kind and Grayson is slowly, but surely helping that side of her be seen more than ever before.

"Sjeti se šta smo te učili i ne brini za nas. Ponosni smo na tebe. A sad idi i osvoji svijet...I momka. (Remember what we taught you and don't worry about us. We're proud of you. Now go and take on the world...And get the boy)." Her mother caressed her cheek, swallowing tears to maintain a brave face for her daughter.

It's incredibly hard to send your children out into the world and have faith the world won't destroy them. It's every day of praying for their safe return and for the darkness to leave them alone. It's daunting and it's something Y/N never thought she'd be able to do because of how strong her family ties are. But sometimes it's good for a soul to do something so daring, so out of the box that will awaken it and give it more context.

Hugging all three of them tightly twice over, Y/N grabbed her suitcase and duffel bag, and headed through security and toward her future. She looked back with tears in her eyes, choked sobs making her feel like she can hardly breathe. But once she's on the plane, looking at the clouds and the vast blue skies, she found serenity.

I'll be with him soon.

Grayson paced around the airport, trying to fight his nerves and excitement as he knew she would be walking to him any second now and he'd finally have her in his arms for the first time in months. All Grayson wants is to wrap his arms around her and see her smiling back at him without a screen and thousands of miles separating them.

Not long after, passengers started filling out and Grayson stops dead in his tracks, searching for her face in the crowd. He's almost desperate, his heart beating erratically with desire, a want, a carnal need to see her. Just to feel her near him would be enough soul food for Grayson to live off for a few more months, but he didn't have to. Not anymore. He'll get to see her every day now and there were no words to describe how that fact makes him feel.

"Go get her luggage and I'll get her." He tells his brother, finally remembering his brother came with him to help take her things home all the while giving them some alone time to catch up on everything.

"Got it!" Ethan exclaims, pocketing his phone and leaving.

Just as Ethan left, Grayson thought of her changing her mind last second in fear. And just as the thought crossed his mind, she came into view.

Her hair is messy and loose, her tank top a bright pink color and her leggings black because she thinks they make her seem skinny. There's a book in her right hand, a duffel bag over her shoulder and Grayson simply feels his heart steady and fall in place. He knows he is exactly where he's meant to be and nothing and no one can convince him otherwise.

She stuffed the book into her bag, looking up seemingly lost for a moment. Grayson itched to get her attention, but couldn't make himself move. He was frozen in place, not moving even when others brushed his shoulder as they passed him. But then her eyes find his and the noise and people around them fade.

Her eyes widen and her smile, the same one Grayson craved for, makes a momentary appearance before the shock wipes it away. Instead of smiling, her lips part as a small gasp leaves her lips and her eyes gaze into Grayson's. Their mutual initial shock lifts and Y/N moves forward, stumbling almost for a few steps until her legs drive her to move faster and faster, sprinting in Grayson's direction. She throws her bag on the ground and Grayson bends his knees, spreads his arms; all in preparation for what he saw coming.

Y/N jumps, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs wrapping around his waist. Grayson grunts at the impact, stumbling back a step from the force. His arms circle around her lower back, holding her up.

Spinning around, they finally get that feeling they've been searching for. It's the beating of two hearts synchronizing as if it's a single one. It's the breathing where every breath they take is solely so they can use it to tell each other how much they care and how happy they are.

From the sidelines, it looked as if two reunited after years of being apart and they weren't wrong. Every day they spent away from each other felt like a year had passed in their hearts. Hell, even years they didn't know one another were counted in as the time they spent without each other; wasted time. Time they were aimlessly searching for someone to fill the void inside them, but failed every time. Time that convinced them real love is out of reach, especially Y/N. Grayson hasn't quite gotten there yet, but he would have without her. She turned into a comet that flashed through his entirely dark skies after a loss he suffered that every kid dreads from the moment they learn what mortality and death are. She turned his sky so bright, so damn bright he knew there was nothing to fear because the darkness will never swallow him. Not with her hand in his.

Y/N tries to speak, but her voice falters into unintelligible croaks. She wants to tell him she loves him, that he somehow managed to take her heart with him that day they met in the craziest way possible, but she doesn't know if her words are believable yet and she's afraid it will sound hollow. She's afraid of hurting him, even though she knows he feels the same; but she never spoke such heavy words to another man and now might be a little premature. So, she holds her tongue and smiles, watching happy tears collect in Grayson's eyes.

"I love you." But then he whispers those same words in her ear, his hand tangled in the dreadful mess of her hair and his nose buried in the nape of her neck. He inhales her scent, shamelessly moaning at the sensation. He had missed her smell and with the risk of sounding insane and creepy, he still couldn't hide the satisfaction it brought him. The jacket long lost her scent and he had to wash his sheets eventually, but this...this was a whole new fix.

Y/N moves her head back, furrowing her brows in question before vocalizing her thoughts.

"You mean that?" Her voice is soft, vulnerable. Grayson licks his lips, titling his head slightly to his left before giving her a genuine smile with an honest answer.

"I really do, Lil Birdie. I love you." He repeats his statement, noticing her eyes water with his admission.

When her hand touches his face he keeps his gaze away, unwilling to risk rejection. With her fingers on his chin, she turns his head so he can see that there is no judgement in her eyes, only love.

"I love you too, Grayson Bailey Dolan. God help me, but I really, really do."

He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching.

She unwrapped her legs from his waist, touching ground with her own two feet, forcing Grayson to bend down, keeping their intimate touch still while she moves her hands to his face. His hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply, relaxing against his warm chest, chiseled to perfection. She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away in a small panic when her inner voice screamed he'll break her heart, but instead she left it there, ignoring the darkness from within. She wants to believe in Grayson and she wants to believe that opposites really do attract and they won't come crashing down in heartbreak.

Grayson's breathing quickened as did hers. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to hers. She was surprised to find her own lips parted, craving the touch of his lips upon hers. Their breaths mingled. Her heart fluttered inside her chest. At first, it was a delicate butterfly of a kiss, like he's afraid she's but a dream he conjured in his mind. Like a stronger touch might break her. When she doesn't move away, but gives into his touch, Grayson smiles into the kiss before allowing his arms to encircle her.

He drew her to him so there was no distance left between them, their lips finding each other in a kiss that stopped their minds from working. This kiss was desperate, passionate, one meant to compensate for months of not being together. Neither cared about the people around them, nor flashing cameras although they truly didn't even notice them.

All they had until now were memories of a single day and single kiss that served as their salvation and their torment. Grayson recounted that day every night in his mind, scared it would be the only day he'd have with her. He dedicated his life to being with her from the moment of that first kiss, for he knew that if he lost her he would lose himself. He knew Y/N's right; all realists were dreamers once and losing her would make him one. She was the half that made him whole and together they were a force to be reckoned with.

Barely able to separate, Y/N's the first to step back gasping for air. Grayson groans lowly at the loss of contact, his hands stopping her from moving too far. They're both out of breath, their lips swollen and spread into two entirely different smiles. Y/N's struggling with her shyness, wondering if a public make out session is appropriate since she's never done it before. She's never been a fan of PDA, but with Grayson it's almost impossible to keep her hands to herself.

Well, she could but why would she want to? He's perfection and the way her stomach flips whenever he looks her way is enough for her to ditch reason and allow him to do as he pleases with her.

Grayson's smile is different. It's wide and dopey, cocky and tempting. He's watching her cheeks redden and a sense of accomplishment takes root because he did that! He made the ice queen melt with a kiss of his lips and she's melted into him.

"So where's Ethan?!" Y/N clears her throat awkwardly, making Grayson narrow his eyes and raise his left eyebrow. But he can tell she needs to normalize them being together now, that she needs a change in the pace of their closeness and he doesn't take it personally. It's how she is; pulling you in with one hand and pushing with the other and it's not because she doesn't love him, because she does! She told him she does and it's more than he ever expected and a part of him is convinced he's dreamed this entire day up, but he didn't. She simply needs to take things slow, but as long as she's taking things slowly WITH him, he's completely okay with that. No matter what happens, he'll be there for her.

"He grabbed your bags and will take them home, so we got a little bit of time to ourselves." Grayson winks suggestively, making her purse her lips, biting the inside of them to stop herself from smiling as a surge of heat in her cheeks warns her she's probably as red as a tomato by now.

"Um, I'm supposed to take those bags to my dorm. Remember? I need to check in and all or I'll lose my spot. I can't lose my spot, Grayson." She tries to remain calm and collected, stopping herself from yelling at him like she did that first day they met. However, she's also a worrier by nature and Grayson knows that which is why she cannot, for the life of her, understand why he'd send Ethan and her bags to his house instead of letting her settle in immediately.

"I know! Which is why I'll drive you to check in and then to get something to eat and we can take a walk on the beach before I take you back to my house. I swear I'll help you move into your dorm tomorrow after class and whatever else you need, just let me have you with me this one night." Grayson uses his hold on her hips to gently sway her left and right, waiting for her stubbornness to fade and her pursed lips and pointed looks turn to a puddle of love he loved to see in her.

She releases a shaky breath, looking up briefly as if she's questioning a higher force why she's about to give in, but when her eyes move back to Grayson they hold no resentment nor resistance. All they hold is that same love Grayson wanted to see her look at him with and it's like all his dreams just came true.

"Alright! Let's get moving then!" She taps her hands on his chest, signaling to let her go and move, but he just groans once more and leans in to rest his forehead on hers, stilling her for a moment longer. He holds his position for exactly twenty seconds, he counted.

"Now I'm ready." He says quietly, loud enough so only Y/N can hear him.

She slides her hands down, moving his big ones from her hips and takes his right one in her left, leaving his left one vacant so he can grab her things. She pulls him along, watching his awestruck smile and warm eyes looking only at her like she's the only woman in the world and it makes her both happy and scared. Happy because she's blessed with a man like Grayson to adore her so much, but scared because it's a responsibility to keep that look steady for as long as she lives. Scared because he's putting her on a pedestal where she doesn't belong. And scary because she's afraid the initial chemical reactions that made him desire her will fade and he'll finally see her for who she is and she won't be as interesting enough, or pretty enough or enough in general.

It's a paralyzing fear and she's fighting it every second of every minute of every hour since she met him. She's fighting it for him, because if she lets it win, even for a moment, she'd lose him. She'd self-destruct and destroy everything as she has done in the past, but Grayson's too important to lose. She's grown too attached to him and it's like he's become her heart, letting her feel everything she was afraid to feel. Her heart's been a bird without the wings to fly, but then Grayson came in and gave her his wings and she'd been flying ever since.

So, yes. She's afraid to lose him just as much as she'd afraid of being with him.

With Grayson's arm around her shoulders, her arm wrapped around the small of his back, they walked out together, talking about her flight and how her goodbye with the family went. She's been so engrossed in their talk that she completely failed to notice when Grayson stopped, arriving at his car at last. She turned her head to see why they stopped, her eyes popping once she saw the car.

"That's not a Bronco!" She exclaimed, letting go of Grayson, much to his dismay. Yes, he's clingy, but it's only because he feels like he's finally in one piece since she arrived.

"Yeah. Got a new one." Grayson chuckles at her amazement. He watches her circle the car with her entire body rigid in excitement and her hands running through her hair repeatedly until the mess on her hair became a compliment in comparison to what it turned into. But he didn't care. In his eyes, every little thing about her, even her crazy hair, is another thing to love.

"If you ran me over with this, I'd be dead now. Dude, it's a baby blue Porsche! MY FAVORITE COLOR AND MY DREAM CAR!" She shouts, doing a few stationary jumps, her hands clasped together around her mouth and nose to keep herself in check before people start staring at her.

"Did you just call me dude?" Grayson laughs in disbelief, taking a few steps closer to her. It's like gravity, she moves and he moves with her. The further she stands, the more he feels inclined to orbit around her. Y/N would argue Grayson is the Sun, but he knows that's not true. She's the Sun he orbits around, not the other way around.

"Yes. Yes, I did! When did you get this car, you filthy rich dude?!" She reaches out, her fingertips touching the hood before she retracts her hand as if she touched something sacred.

"I told you I got a new car. I even took a photo! We did a video with it!" Grayson's voice turned louder, matching her excited tone and Y/N's jaw slacked until her mouth opened.

"I didn't see any of it because I've been so disconnected from the internet. I kinda used every moment I could to just be with the people in my life. I was perfectly satisfied with my screen time with you without YouTube's helP." She pops the P at the end of her defense, touching the car with her index finger once more before stepping back.

She spins in her spot, grinning from ear to ear and Grayson can't help but stare at her. Though he already knew it, this only confirmed his love for her. He also couldn't deny that he getting a car that happens to be her dream car was anything but a coincidence. It had to have been some divine intervention and he didn't mind it one bit.

"Come on, Birdie. Get in." He unlocks the car, opening her door and she stops for a moment, just pondering.

Out of nowhere, her hand found the back of his neck and it pulled him down fast and effectively toward her face. Her lips pressed against his. She captured his bottom lip between her teeth, giving it a small bite before letting go and ducking inside the car where she literally started petting the interior; the dash included.

Grayson shook his head, his heart still recovering from the unexpected gesture on her behalf and one he very much welcomed anytime. Closing her door, he dropped her bag in the back and moved to his side. He got in, putting his seatbelt on and checking her if she did too. Satisfied once he sees she's already prepared for the drive, Grayson stops and presses his lips together in hopes of muffling a laugh that wanted to escape him when he saw her petting the dash lovingly with actual heart eyes.

"Yes, I'm petting the dash! I'm in love with this car, so let me love it! Don't judge me!" She exclaimed without shame, glancing at her red in the face man and furrowing his brows.

"You love my car more than me." Grayson whines, making Y/N send him a quick glare.

"On that note, you do realize we exchanged I love you's without actually being together. Like, that's weird for you too, right?" Her proclamation of love for the car might have been without shame, but this particular question brought changes on her face. She quirked her right eyebrow and her nostrils flared with a sharp intake of breath she took once her brain caught up with her tongue and she realized what she just asked him.

"Not if you consider I've been sort of married to you in my mind since the moment I looked into your pretty doe eyes for the first time." Grayson says something even more cringe to help alleviate her sudden surge of panic and he can tell she visibly relaxes when her lips curl into a small smile and a tiny nod of her head lets him know she's not freaked out by his advanced thinking.

"Stop saying things like that! I don't know how to reply to these things!" She whines, covering her face like she only just now realized what he said and Grayson gave up on stifling his laugh. He lets his booming laugh turn to a giggle before he's glancing at her with a surprised look on his face.

"Stop what?" His voice is high pitched and soft, making her gnaw on the inside of her cheeks, still hiding from his eyes under the palms of her hands.

"Compliments? Babe, you gotta learn to accept compliments and actually believe in them. I'm a compliment machine and you'll be getting them all the time. Love my cheesiness, damn it!" His tone is playful and his words promising, only making her chest grow uncomfortably small with that pesky heart of hers growing in size from his proximity. It's like he wants to drive her crazy, because that's how she feels around him. Crazy and in love. So, so in love that she has trouble understanding any of it.

"Dokrajčit' ćeš me. (You'll be the death of me.)" She mutters under her breath in her native tongue, making Grayson smile, licking his lips.

"You sound so sexy whenever you speak in your native tongue." He points out and she sees him smirking in the corner of her eye. She's flustered and her body's burning up, but he knows it and she knows he knows that she knows this. He wants to make her feel this way.

Instead of replying and giving him the satisfaction of responding to his teasing, she pretends she didn't hear him and turns up the volume, singing along and Grayson's quick to join in, allowing her to take this as her victory and hides it under the mat.

Grayson listens to her as if her words are golden, watches her like every move she makes is award worthy. He is always thinking so deeply, already with a strategy that's several moves ahead of what she's capable of to make sure he can offer reassurement, compliments, jokes, anything she might need. And in his words there is a kindness, a concern that is so quick that, for him, it is natural. This attentiveness is a part of who he is and that is, if she's being honest, the most attractive feature she's seen in a man for quite some time. It's one of the many reasons why she loves him. Why he's the only man she's ever loved and is absolutely certain has her heart.

She's staring at him, just like she did that day he drove her to the airport. The difference is, she's not staring because she thinks she might never see him again, but because she's struggling to grasp that he's a real, living, breathing, heart-beating human being and that he's interested in loving her out of millions of girls who'd drop everything for him.

Why her? Why is she so special and why can't she see it for herself?

"Like what you see", Grayson asks, not hiding his cocky attitude and Y/N leans her temple on the leather seat of the car and smiles.

"Yeah. The view's pretty great." She decides to feed his ego, giving him something to boast about because no matter how many times she rolls her eyes when he says things like that, she actually loves it. She loves how confident he is, how sure he is and not just about his body, but about every aspect of his life. She admires him for it.

"Too bad we're here. Want me to drive around the block to prolong it?" He parks the car, turning to her with a sexy smirk, his right cheek slightly puffed from it but his face changed fast and his eyes closed shut before he sneezed so loud, effectively erasing his bad boy vibe.

"Bless you." She chuckles, fishing out a tissue from her handbag and Grayson hesitates, looking at her awkwardly.

"What?!" She furrows her eyebrows, her eyes moving from the tissue in his hand and the weird look in his eyes.

"I kind of don't want to blow my nose in front of you." Grayson says nervously, talking nasally because the need to blow his nose is so dire he's forced to breathe through his mouth.

Y/N rolls her eyes and shifts in her seat to face him properly.

"You do realize you blowing your nose in front of me will in no way change my feelings for you. You have allergies and you'll get colds and I don't care. It's human and you're human and I want to be there with you no matter which of these human things get you first. Blow you nose, Apollo and meet me inside, okay?" Her voice is soft and sweet, reassuring with the perfect amount of sass and very, very honest. 

She gives him privacy for this time, letting him blow his nose until it's dry. He's grateful to have her and he appreciates her giving him time to feel free to be disgusting in front of her. He's nervous that she'll see the worst parts of him and that she might not like what she sees. He doesn't want to risk her leaving him. Not until he's cemented himself in her life and she's basically so in love with him that a little booger won't bother her.

Y/N feels her heart race as she walks in, glancing back at the baby blue Porsche to see Grayson's face covered with that tissue and it makes her smile. In a way, he's insecure too and she made herself a promise right then and there; she'll take those insecurities away and convince him there's nothing he can do that would make her want to leave.

Cheating and abuse are the only things she can't handle, everything else can be worked on and for him, she'd work on it.

She walks through the heavy wooden doors, going up to the reception with a well-rehearsed smile on her lips and a few papers she took out of her bag.

"Hi. I'm Y/N Y/L/N and I'm here to check in and get my room key for the on-campus dorm." She rehearsed this statement a million times in her head, her anxiety crafting the right words to say so she doesn't sound unintelligent or improper.

"Just a moment." The man says, typing something in his computer. He asks her to repeat her name and types it in as well, while she's shifting from one foot to another, looking back to the door for Grayson who has yet to come in. She's got her mask back on, but she hates it. She wants to be free and comfortable as she is with Grayson. But whenever she's alone, she's not herself in public. It's always her anxiety that gets her, making her sweat and her heart to pound with every interaction especially when it's something as important as school officials.

"I'm sorry, but you're not on the list." The man informs her and her eyes practically bulge out of her skull. She shakes her head, trying to grasp what he's telling her.

"What? How? It must be a mistake. You sent me confirmation last month via e-mail." She shows the copy of the e-mail to the man, biting the inside of her lip hard enough to stop a string of swear words to leave her mouth. She tastes the metallic taste of blood under the tip of her tongue, ignoring it as the man re-checks and gives her the same answer.

"It says cancelled." He tells her which only confuses her more.

"How is it cancelled? I didn't cancel! There must be a spot left for me. Please?" She pushes, hearing the door open and the creak before it closes behind her, but she doesn't turn around.

"I'm sorry, but everything's filled. Try again next year." He says and she grabs her papers angrily, walking past Grayson and through the door. She stuffs the papers in her bag, allowing her hands to get lost in her hair as the stress makes her implode.

"What happened?!" Grayson follows her, watching her pace on the sidewalk like she's losing her mind and he feels guilty. He feels guilty because he went behind her back and cancelled her room. He did it so they can be together more and to save her from crazy roommates, so she doesn't have to listen to them having sex in the bed next to her and so she can study in peace.

"I'm not on the list. There was some kind of a mistake and they already gave my room to someone else. What the hell am I supposed to do now?!" She talks fast, stumbling over her words and a hint of an accent comes out with them.

Grayson jumps, grabbing her elbows and steadies her. He cups her face, forcing her to look up and into his eyes before he brushes his nose against hers, hearing her heavy sigh right after.

"You will live with me and Ethan. We don't mind. Your stuff is already there and if you want a room for yourself, we'll make it work." Grayson offers, watching her already shake her head.

"It's so far from campus, Gray." But he cuts her off.

"I'll wake up every morning and drive you to class and pick you up after. Okay? Don't worry, Birdie. I got you." He smiles widely to help her relieve the worry now etched in every line of her face.

"I'm so lucky to have you." She buries her face in his chest, hugging him as tightly as possible and Grayson's smile fades when he hugs her back. His guilt is growing with every moment she worries or feels like a burden and he hates himself for what he did. Because now, he knows that he didn't do it for her, but for himself. He did a selfish thing and if she ever found out, his fear of losing her might be justified.

"I love you, Y/N. I'll do anything for you." And he would, which is exactly why he hates himself now. But he'll make sure she doesn't feel the consequences and if she wants a dorm next year, he won't protest and he definitely won't sabotage her.

"No more sappiness. You promised me food and some beach time, so let's do it!" Y/N pushes the palms of her hands into Grayson's chest, helping herself detach from him before her brave persona disappears and she gives into the tears that she's swallowing.

"Mm'kay. C'mon." Grayson pecks her forehead, opening her door again and letting her in first. He wanted her to know he'd be there and he'd be a proper gentlemen for her. He doesn't voice it, but he's just happy she's willing to let him open her doors because many girls don't allow it anymore, claiming he's taking their 'independence', when all he really wants is to show respect and appreciation.

She doesn't say anything either, because she loves that he's willing to treat her so well. For the longest time, she was sure gentlemen and manors are extinct. Not anymore.

"What do you want to eat?" Grayson asks, tapping his index fingers on the wheel to the rhythm of the music.

"Umm...Fries? Doesn't really matter, as long as it's gluten free." She says, making Grayson turn to her abruptly with furrowed eyebrows. He didn't realize she was the type.

"Sure." He mumbles under his breath, now making Y/N look at him with questions bubbling up in her mind.

"What?" Her voice is softer and high pitched, a little defensive as well.

"Just didn't think you're the type to avoid gluten. It's not the plague, ya know?" He remarks, forcing Y/N to shake her head in disbelief. She bites her lower lip to stop herself from yelling at him for the second time today. He really did tick her off sometimes.

"You do realize gluten free diets aren't popular for dieting reasons, but because of health issues. To some people, me included, gluten is just as bad as the plague. I'm intolerant and even a grain of wheat will make me very, very sick. Don't judge people for their eating habits, Gray. I didn't peg you as the type." She throws his words back at him, angrily and with no mercy. Her tone's sharp and she aims to kill, just as he's used to and even though she's aiming for him, Grayson can't help but feel content about it. It means she doesn't fabricate anything for his benefit. It means she's straightforward with him and it's more he's ever gotten from any of the girls he's dated in the past.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just assumed because you had that pizza and cornflakes when you were over last time." Grayson explains, glancing back to the road and to Y/N frequently. He needed to gauge her reaction about everything, because he's become rather comfortable with reading them and deducting what she thinks or feels based on what he sees.

"The box said gluten free and your cereal have the same mark at the back of the bag too." She points out something even he didn't know. He never watched for those marks, only about lactose since he's intolerant and now he feels like an ass for judging her, even for a moment.

"Well, I'm an idiot." He presses his lips together, disappointed in himself.

Y/N turns her head toward him, reaching out with her left hand and letting it rest on his leg, right above his knee. She hears him take a sharp breath at the initial contact, his eyes immediately following her hand as her fingers give him a light squeeze.

"You're not an idiot. Just a little half-cocked. Never judge a book by its covers is a good way to start. I've read the most beautiful books with the ugliest, oldest covers hiding the rich story within. It's never about the way things seem, because there's always more hiding beneath."

They drove slowly, the traffic keeping them cooped up inside longer than Grayson expected. He opened the sunroof, letting the air in and eliciting a smile that showed her chubby cheeks as result. It's empowering to know he can make her smile. It's unbelievably rewarding.

"There's a restaurant right there, by the ocean. Thought you might appreciate it!" Grayson smirks, draping an arm around Y/N as he points to the place he had in mind with his other hand. She nods, wrapping an arm around him too, walking the cement line instead of trudging through sand in her sneakers.

"Love the ocean breeze." She inhales the salty scent of the air around them, closing her eyes and trusting Grayson to lead the way and keep her safe. There's a soft smile on her lips, one of content and pure bliss, something rarely seen upon her face.

"And I love you." Grayson pecks her temple, letting those words out again. She's heard him say it before, but every time he repeats it it's solidifying the first statement, making her head spin with the closeness they've managed to achieve in such a short time. It still makes her skin crawl and her fight or flight system activate, but it also gives her strength to rise above those fears and protect Grayson's heart from the pain. 

Even when she was half a world away, she felt close to him. He's been on her mind during the day and in her dreams during the night. His name is her favorite song and his voice the most heavenly melody. Those brown eyes she tends to get lost in hold so much innocence and purity, genuine emotion and a child-like naivety, which is where her sense of protectiveness comes from. She knows he's too good, too sweet of a heart to see what true evil looks like. He doesn't recognize people who want to use and abuse his kind heart and he'd never retaliate. But she won't let him be used anymore. She won't let them hurt her man. She sees through people a lot better than he does.

"I'm supposed to say it back, right?" She looks up, squinting as the sun hits her face and blinds her to the world. It leaves only a partial image of Grayson in her line of sight, one where he looks like an absolute angel with the light reflecting of his wing shaped earring. And it's a real sight to behold; his beauty is truly stunning, disarming and the sunlight halo leaves her awestruck.

He's a lot like the Sun, with so many people orbiting around him. Some come too close only to be burned by the proximity and others are too far, freezing in the distant shade where his rays don't reach. But some of them are in perfect range, revolving around him in a distance that's perfectly calculated so the heat they feel warms their insides and softens their hardened hearts. He once called her the Sun, but for her he is. He's her Sun.

"That would be a good idea, yeah!" Grayson chuckles. His chuckle is slow and mellow, sweet like honey.

She steps out of his embrace, shifting her body to stand in front of him instead of by his side. She stops his walk, eyebrows raised. Bopping his nose with the tip of her right index finger, Y/N licks her lips and cocks her head to the side.

"Of course I do. I do love you. No matter the distance between us, my attraction to you remains constant. You could be at the ends of the earth like we were even before we met and still I would feel pulled toward you.  I've always felt this pull, like we're magnets, forming our very own magnetic field that lets us have this crazy feelings even we don't understand." She points to his chest and then herself.

"There is something about you and I that matches, each half loving the other so fully that a life alone would be meaningless. So though it is your gorgeous brown eyes, your Apollo tanned skin, your face that I look upon, know that this attraction runs deep to my core. I don't do superficial, I never did. Which is scary, but scary is good. It means this is real. It means I'm aware how deep we've gotten and how incredibly in love I am even though this is only the second time I get to hold your hand." She slips both her hands in his, interlocking their fingers while staring at the way even their hands differ.

His are big, tan, soft and both crowned with bracelets. One's a brand bracelet that gives him sugar daddy vibes and the other is a baby blue one for cancer awareness, the same cancer that took his father's life. His right thumb has a small, faded scar, one that he claims mysteriously appeared and has been there since birth.

Her hands are pale and small, a little rougher than his and her nails aren't manicured like his at all. She wears two rings on her right hand, one on her index finger that her mother gave her with an elvish symbol and one on the finger next to it with a snowflake her sister gave her for good luck.

Their hands are so different, but fit perfectly. With his hand in hers, she felt like anything is possible. She liked the feeling, the notion of what it represented. He made her free from the shackles she thought she'd carry for eternity and though she's still got remains of the wounds they caused and it makes her angry when he can't relate, it's slowly healing. He's slowly healing her.

"You talk like a poet and I feel so dumb and proud at the same time." Grayson smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling, showing those laugh lines that served as proof his life had been a good one. She was happy about that.

"Nah. I'm just showing off. You inspire me." She shrugs, moving to the side and letting his left hand go, but keeping the right one in place.

"I like that."

They finally get to eat, ordering food that helped avoid both of their issues - lactose and gluten. While Grayson snapped their meal, he kept her face out of the shot as he didn't think she'd appreciate him openly telling his fans about them just yet, or at all. Grayson's aware how his fans can be and he wants to, needs to protect her from that exposure. 

Alas, we don't always get what we want.

The moment he logs into twitter, his entire feed is filled with fans FREAKING THE HELL OUT as they wrote themselves. The video and photos of them kissing at the airport went viral, but no one has figured out her identity yet.

He feels the heat rush to his head and a surge of panic take over his heart and lungs. In the grip of silent panic, with wild eyes, pupils dilated, Grayson looks around them. He's scanning the area for anyone with a camera, for anyone pointing at them or possibly staring. He's looking for any warning signs that someone there knows them as they might overwhelm Y/N if they come up to him. She hasn't seen what it means to be his girl, not when his job gets involved.

"You okay, dušo (sweetie)", Y/N uses a nickname in her native tongue. It's literal translation being soul, because that's what she feels he is, a big part of her soul learning only now to be whole.

Grayson chuckles nervously and Y/N can sense the shift in his behavior, noticing his forehead wrinkle at her use of a foreign language. Regardless of his lack of understanding, he reaches out and takes her hand in his, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumb while giving her a reassuring nod.

"Yeah, just saw the squad chat and noticed they laid out a thousand video ideas." He feels nauseous, on the brink of throwing up. He doesn't want to lie to her, but he doesn't want to ruin today for them. It's enough that he messed with her living arrangements, he didn't want to completely ruin her life, despite her arguing he did exactly that the first time they met.

"Oh. If you want to go home and work on it, I'm totally fine with that." She maintains eye contact with Grayson until he shakes his head vehemently.

"Nope. Beach and sunset after food. I promised you that and I'll keep that promise. I mean, once you start school tomorrow, you might be a bit busy for me and I want to use every moment because time with you is precious." He leans forward, bringing her hand closer to his lips. Pressing his plush pink face pillows on her knuckles, Grayson watches her smile widen. Smitten with her, desperately wishing he could kiss her on the lips instead of just her hand, he moves his head forward and leans his cheek on her hand.

"I feel like I'm going to melt." She whispers, giddy and her eyes glisten with a rush of happy tears, a teaser of the waterfalls that will not fall.

Grayson licks his lips, dragging the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip slowly all the while quirking an eyebrow at the pink coloring of Y/N's cheeks. He loves to flirt with her, seduce her and enjoy the way she responds to him. She says he's got an innocence to him that she's never seen, a purity of sorts. But in truth, it's what he sees in her. She's so oblivious of her incredible looks and unique way of thinking, of her very lovable quirks and weird talents that he wishes to know more. She's too self-deprecating and it hurts him to see just how blind she is to her own unadulterated flawlessness.

"You cracked my evil plans!" He snickers, watching her narrow her eyes at him all the while fighting a smile from cracking.

"Hey, can we talk about how I'm going to repay you for letting me stay with you and for the rides?" She changes the topic again and Grayson knows she needs to do it to stop herself from outright panicking about their bond.

"You're not paying." Grayson states, popping a fry in his mouth and Y/N's left eye narrows at the sound, but she doesn't say anything. The sound of people walking and talking, of the ocean's waves coming and going, it all helps to drown out the noise of Grayson's loud chewing.

"I gotta do something, Gray. I can't just live there for free." She lowers her voice, deepening it so he can pick up on the seriousness in her words.

"You can help with chores, but I'm not letting you pay." Grayson reaches out, wanting to rub his knuckle down her cheek. Y/N slaps his hand away, frowning.

"It will make me incredibly uncomfortable to stay with you and your twin brother and not contribute in any way, shape or form. Plus, does Ethan even know you're offering me to stay with you?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

"He knows and you can't pay us. Hell, Ethan would be the first one to refuse. He's screech loudly like a velociraptor until you stopped trying to pay us. He'd kill me if I even considered it. We earn obscene amounts of money while you're living off a scholarship. All I want from you is to study and chase your dreams, to be happy and make friends and IF you want, to just share duties around OUR home. Just let me do this for you. Please." He slouches in his chair, watching Y/N rub her chin nervously. She rests her chin on the back of her hands, closing her eyes and pressing her lips tight in thought.

"And if we break up?" She opens her eyes, her voice weak and vulnerable.

"That won't happen. But if that ever happens, you're more than welcome to stay. I love you, Y/N. I don't see those feelings disappearing anytime soon." Grayson admits, not caring that he's always pouring his heart open for her to drink up. He needs her to know he'd never hurt her. Not intentionally. Sure, he always has good intentions and she might hate some of the things he did for her, so yes, she might want him to let her go if she finds out about it, but he'd never be the one to end things. He'll fight for her, tell her she's the only girl he could ever be with and that he'd rather be alone than without her. He'll tell her he's the guy for her. He'll do anything for her to forgive him if that day ever comes...until she asks him to let her go.

"Okay." She whispers, feeling conflicted about the situation. She's always been taught not to depend on someone and that's exactly what she's doing now. She has to depend on Grayson and though she loves and trusts him, it's not something she wants or takes lightly. She wanted to be on her own for the first time ever, to be her own boss, to be independent and fierce and learn to fight for herself and find her voice. The possibility of not being able to do any of that with the changes to her plans have turned her mood sour.

"I'll pay the bill and we can go enjoy the little sun we got left." Grayson blows her a kiss, walking away to pay the waiter while she remains at the table, blankly staring at her plate.

**

Grayson could sense Y/N's mood changed drastically. Knowing she's stubborn like no one he'd ever known, topping Ethan and James easily, he figured she'd have to find a way to feel useful or she'll lose her mind about him paying for everything. She's not the type to bathe in his money or to enjoy a sugar daddy relationship and to prevent that, he found a solution.

"How about you do photo shoots for me and Ethan? Like also behind the scenes photos when we're filming. And you can help us with video ideas and even to set up?" He offers, hoping to shake her up a little and give her a slight spring to her steps.

There a pause, a silence between them lasting exactly seventeen seconds before Y/N swings her arms around Grayson's neck, jumping to completely wrap herself around him. Grayson giggles, his laugh turning high pitched and nasal. He rests his hands on her upper thigh, just below her ass and spins them loosely, but only once because she moves her head to face him. With her eyes and nose crinkled, a small laugh escapes her unexpectedly to tug at Grayson's heart.

"Kiss me." She's barely keeping her breathing steady with the look his eyes hold. The Sun's illuminating every speck in his now hazel eyes.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout her whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes her feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though she's in a dangerous fire, yet completely safe at the same time. Because Grayson Dolan is her fire and she doesn't care if she burns out from the love she holds for him. It feels as though someone's given her peace. It feels as though her heart is dancing around her chest; and a hole she's been aware of her entire life, has been filled. She feels light, like she's on top of the world yet her heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in her lungs.

His lips press against Y/N's with passion, love, and affection as his warm hands roam all over thighs, ass and back, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake. He squeezes her bum as they kiss, causing her to arch her back and moan softly into his mouth. She tilts her head to the side, her chest rising and falling dramatically under his influence. He smiles into the kiss as her fingers tug at his short hair on the back of his neck and her other hand scratches at his back.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers against her lips, almost in anguish.

"You talk too much." She retorts, nibbling on his bottom lip and presses her fingertips into his shoulder as if he's the air she so desperately needs.

"As much as I love kissing you and trust me this is killing me, I really wanna go for a swim with you." Grayson kisses the left corner of her mouth, littering her left cheeks in butterfly light kisses.

"How? I don't have my swimsuit." She moves away from him, releasing her grip on his waist and Grayson lets her down gently on the sand.

"I don't mind." Grayson wiggles his eyebrows, smiling smugly at her 'o' shaped mouth.

"I am not skinny dipping in the ocean!" She exclaims, looking around to see if there's anyone around them.

"Underwear then?" Grayson offers and she narrows her eyes at him with suspicion.

"You just want to see me naked!" She points an accusatory finger at him, watching him click his tongue and nod.

"I'll take mine off too!" He smirks, suggestively raising an eyebrow until she's running a hand through her hair and looking at him like he's eye candy. But to her, he was never just eye candy; he's soul food.

"I don't mind you taking your clothes off!" She cocks her head to the left, folding her arms across her chest and awaiting him to make a move.

Without doubt, Grayson raised both hands up and to the collar of his shirt. He tucked his fingers inside the collar, maintaining eye contact with Y/N. He pulled his white shirt off and threw it to the sand, giving her a dazzling smile and a daring look. She watched him kick off his on-brand sneakers and unbutton his jeans.

She swallows thickly, taking in every little move he makes with lust filling her body. He pulls the zipper down in a painfully slow manor, teasing Y/N with a small wiggle that made her chortle in response. He slides the jeans off and they find themselves in the sand as well, his thighs and all the tattoos now in the open. But that's not the only thing she sees. He's got a pulsating, rather large bulge hidden inside his teal boxer briefs. It's hard not to let her eyes wander and fixate on a particularly wrapped gift basket inside, but she forces her eyes to look up.

That doesn't help either.

Every single inch of his skin is marked with perfection, each line accentuating an ab she'd like to drag the tip of her tongue over. His arms are huge, veins visible and curving around his muscles like snakes that give his arms the power to kill. His shoulder is distinctly pointy and sharp, his collarbone just calling for her to tap her fingertips along the curve. His neck is strong and inviting, awaiting love bites along the prominent vein on the left.

But nothing could compare to the flawlessness of his face. With a jawline that can cut you, a slight stubble lining it and framing his lips, cute nose to boop and brown eyes that turn hazel under the sunlight downing in his desire for her...well, Y/N finally understood the arrogant eyebrow raise and cocky smirk he bestowed upon her. Looking like that, he had every right to be confident.

She's always alluded temptation in the past, finding those who surrender to their primal instincts weak. But Grayson standing in front of her with his body on display without a single imperfection had gotten to her. Her pulse started to race, only matching the pounding of her heart she couldn't slow down. She started to sweat, lick her lips subconsciously and fidget with her fingers.

Temptation is a tricky thing, often sneaking up to you when you least expect it. Y/N was so sure that only dreamers fell victim to its alluring siren song; that she would be spared as a realist. Turns out no one is immune, especially not when Apollo himself is asking you to join him in a crazy adventure. And Grayson is Y/N's Apollo, her own brand of temptation. He's temptation incorporated, undeniable and impeccable.

He starts walking back, making sure Y/N has full view of his front before he turns around, and giving her an entirely different view to drool over.

She doesn't wait long, taking her clothes off so fast she almost tripped and fell face first into the sand. Grayson barely got a toe into the ocean when Y/N rushed into the water without hesitation.

She embraces the wave, giving into it. A small squeal lets Grayson know the water is cold, but all he can see is a hardcore realist jumping head first into the ocean in only black underwear, allowing him to ignore the cold and follow her in. He'd follow her through a fire, so why would he stop at cold water?

He shouts, gasping for air as the cold water envelopes his body entirely. Y/N laughs at his reaction loudly, snorting in the process, surprising both Grayson and herself. She covers her mouth quickly, embarrassed by the incident which Grayson finds adorable.

"Take my hand!" He reaches out, watching her struggle against the current. He waits for her hand to hold onto his before pulling her to him, greatly fighting his urge to rip what's left of her clothes off and take her right then and there. He doesn't even look, but that's not without difficulty.

"Woah!" She presses closer to him for body heat, looking up at his wet hair now slicked back with only a few strands sticking up on his head. He's looking deeply into her eyes, an irresistible need to look at all of him taking over her. Her lips part as she inhales deeply. The site is a turn on for her. The water drips down his hair softly. And the drops slowly make their way to his body and the perfect abs he has. The water defines his well-organized and obviously worked out body.

Yup, temptation, she concludes. APOLLO, she hears that part of her brain obsessed with Greek mythology scream. His body is a siren song meant to trap her and she knows it.

"You got a bit of drool there." Grayson jokes, snapping her back to reality.

She truly seems entranced by him and it's feeding his ego, letting it skyrocket and fill him with a new sense of confidence. Sure, girls usually find him hot and he's used to them lusting for his body, but there's something about the way Y/N looks at him with hunger and tenderness, craving and love that he'd never had before. He never had the best of both worlds: love and lust, caring and passion, trust and loyalty, beauty and intelligence. It's uncharted waters for Grayson, but he's eager to explore. He's always been an adventurer, that's for sure.

She rolls her eyes at him, pushing from him only to splash him with water.

"You just ruined a perfect moment!" She shouts, frowning when she sees his eyes flicker from her black lacy bra to her face continuously, like it's hypnotizing. Only then does she realize she's exposed in front of him, completely showing every imperfection. Not only did she hate the extra fat on her stomach and those pesky love-handles, but also the stretch-marks that showed up on the sides and on her hips, ass and behind her knees. She always kept those hidden, ashamed of the thick thighs that many hated. Not only did they add onto her weight, but they also ruined every pair of pants she owned. So, no. Y/N isn't a fan of her body and the way she hugs her body awkwardly and moves out of the water silently forces Grayson to trudge after her.

"Hey?! What's hap - happening?!" He almost falls, interrupting his words to keep himself steady.

She puts on her top fast, struggling with the leggings since she's still wet. Grayson frowns, running a hand through his soaked hair, putting the other one on her shoulder, effectively halting her movements.

"What's wrong?!" He asks in the softest, smallest voice she's ever heard him use.

"Mrzim kako izgledam. Ti si savršenstvo, od glave do pete. Ja...nisam. Ni blizu. Ne znam zašto me želiš. Ne razumijem u čemu je kvaka. (I hate the way I look. You're perfection, head to toe. I'm...not. Not even close. I don't know why you want me. I don't understand where's the catch.)" She finishes her insecure ramble, constantly swatting the hair getting in her face due to the wind and Grayson's utterly confused because he didn't understand a single word she said. But he could tell it wasn't something nice, nor uplifting. So, he wraps an arm around her, pulling her side to his chest and rests his chin on top of her head. He gives her a moment of sincere warmth and kindness, one moment to collect herself before he turns himself to face her. He cups her cheeks, forcing her lips in a pouting position by default and he can't help but notice she looks like a vulnerable girl with all her masks gone, showing him what's truly inside.

"I have no clue what you just said, but I know you're upset. If it's about your body, don't be. I love having something to grasp when I get to taste your voluptuous lips. I find you very, very appealing to the eye and those stretch-marks so many girls hate are actually badass. It's like warrior stripes that signify every battle you've had to win to be here today. Your body is a map of life's struggles you faced and I love your body. I love you in every shape or size and I hope that one day, you'll love it just as much. Just don't forbid me to do it now." Grayson kisses the top of her nose, then her lips before lowering himself entirely to kiss the side of her left thigh, just below the band of her underwear, squeezing her right hip at the same time.

Y/N sighs, feeling her body betray her and tremble under his touch like he's got healing properties and every kiss he leaves on her skin is remedy. Unable to handle being so intimately touched, she moves back and sits on the sand, leaving Grayson flustered and wishing for more. But he understands this is one of those moments she pulls away, needing to center herself.

Gosh, she's stubborn, he thinks.

He sits by her side, smiling instantly when her head drops on his shoulder, the temple resting just below his pointy bone, feeling a faint pulse on her head.

They sat there in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Her eyes drifted to the horizon, the sky turning clouds that resemble cotton candy various shades of pink, contrasting the blue water that slowly turns black as the sky once the Sun is no longer casting the light that illuminates every drop.

They walked together, like drunken teenagers, clinging to one another. Once in the car, they blast music, singing along to every song that comes on. They were more than ready to settle in their now shared home and relax for the night.

"Feels like another lifetime." She mutters under her breath. Judging by Grayson's confused face, she knew she had to clarify.

"It feels like I haven't been here for so long, if ever. I always assumed that entire night was a dream I made up to keep myself afloat." She walks inside, Grayson following her every step. Surprisingly, she remembers perfectly how to find her way around and he can't help but fix anything that's not in its usual place. He doesn't want her to think they're messy.

"Where's Ethan?" She asks sweetly, looking around for the other half of the Dolan duo. Grayson shrugs, shouting.

"Yo, E.!"

"Bro!" Ethan shouts back and Grayson nods.

"He's in the kitchen." He states and it's Y/N's turn to look confused. Grayson gives her a crooked smile, going to the kitchen only to find his brother munching on a pizza, giving him deja vu.

"Got some pizza, so fhig in!" Ethan mumbles, still chewing so some of the words are muffled and twisted, but it makes Y/N smile and her eyes focus on the box. She nods toward the box, pointing out the gluten free mark to her boyfriend before grabbing a slice and sitting by Ethan.

"This is so freaky. It's like history repeating itself." Grayson sits down slowly, eyes flickering from his brother to his girl with his lips slightly parted.

"Except she's staying for good this time around!" Ethan exclaims, wiping his mouth with the back of his right hand.

Y/N pauses, lowering the slice she was about to take a bite out of and looks to Ethan.

"How long have you known?"

Grayson's eyes widen and Ethan chokes on his bite, coughing to create a diversion long enough to figure something out. Y/N taps his back repeatedly, helping him or so she thinks.

"Ugh, uh - Grayson texted me the news earlier. Dorm cancelled, right?" He grabs a glass of water, sipping on it and turning away from Y/N to openly, but silently freak out.

"Yeah." The cloud of suspicion lifts and she keeps on eating, nudging Grayson to eat too with her leg under the table.

"I'm actually glad you're here. That way he doesn't bitch about how much he misses you all the time." Ethan ignores the glare Grayson sends him, smiling at Y/N like he's not trying to embarrass his brother.

"Oh, but then you'll have to find something else to bitch about, instead of just bitching about him missing me." Y/N remarks, raising both eyebrows at Ethan before standing up to get herself some water. She didn't mean it in a bad manor, nor was she being mean spirited, it just came out. It's like an instinct.

"I like her." Ethan tells Grayson, happy she's not a tender little flower he can't mess around with.

"I LIKE YOU!" He shouts, so Y/N can hear him too and she smiles into her glass, her back is turned to the boys.

"I'm already taken!" She shouts back, taking out a few different pills from her bag and popping them in her mouth, washing them down with water before turning to them.

"Correction. I love her." He whispers to Grayson, awkwardly resting his chin in his hand.

"So, I'll clear my room", Grayson starts, but Y/N stops him immediately.

"No, you won't. We can share the room or I can sleep on the couch. Your choice." She swallows thickly when Grayson's lips spread into a smile, realizing the temptation she felt today will be nothing compared to temptation she'll feel sharing a bed.

"Sharing it is! You can decorate however you want, not just in there but all around as well. Just let me know if you need something and I'll get it for you. I'll clear half my closet and drawers and..." Grayson began to list cheerfully, causing Y/N to interject.

"Grayson, honey, breathe." She hears Ethan snicker beside her, ending it with a playful slap on the shoulder.

"Got it. Slow and steady." Grayson clasps his hands in front of him on the table, fondly looking at his girl who desperately wished for a shower and he could tell.

"I'm gonna shower, let you two talk...or not." She gets up with a sigh, leaning in to peck Grayson's lips before sauntering into his room and going straight for the shower.

It felt good to wash the dirt, salt and a tiny bit of grief off her. In the shower, she could finally let a tear or two out, just to ease up the pressure building in her chest. It's been about two days since she left home and she's already homesick. Grayson makes it easier, though. It feels like he's a home on it's own.

Walking out in just a towel, she goes straight for his closet to steal some of his clothes. However, once she faces that side of the room, right behind the door is something she didn't expect to see. She screams, scaring both guys into running fast toward the room.

By the time they arrived, she's already laughing at her own stupidity, not believing herself.

"What happened?!" They ask in unison, each standing by her side in case she needed protection.

"I thought the fucking Nutcracker was a man or something. I died!" She cackles, slapping a hand over her chest.

"Man, he's creepy!" She exclaims, wiping away tears and Ethan's nodding, agreeing with her.

"No clue how he sleeps with that in here." Ethan adds fuel to a growing fire and Grayson reaches out from behind Y/N to slap him on the back of his head.

"I'll move it. Don't worry." He pecks her cheek and she frowns, pursing her lips.

"Nah. Don't want you to change everything up for me." She waves his offer off, because she does like nutcrackers...just not giant ones that look like demons in the night.

"But I want to." He moves in and wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her neck until all the hair on her body stands up.

"You sure?" She leans into him and Ethan's already thinking what Grayson knew from the start.

He's fucking whipped and he loves it.

"YuP", Grayson pops the P for effect, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. It's not one of his, meaning she's already unpacked some of her things.

"You organize the closet how you want to and I'll get this fella to the pool-house." He leaves a kiss on her temple before doing as he promised with Ethan's help, giving Y/N a chance to get dressed and put her clothes in as well. She's quick, just putting her clothes on racks and the rest is already folded for the drawers. She jumps on the bed and texts her parents to see how they're doing, but they're already asleep. Closing her eyes as she hears Grayson bickering with Ethan about a plant in the distance and a dopey smile grows on her face. This will be a challenge, but one she welcomes.

"You asleep, Lil Birdie?" Grayson whispers in her ear, startling her. She yawns, stretching her hands and legs before curling into his side, resting her head on his chest.

"Do you believe in alternative universes?" She asks, nuzzling into his chest further. Grayson wraps an arm around her to keep her in place, playing with a few curled tips of her hair falling on her face.

"Yeah. I do." Grayson replies. Holding her soft pale face gives him a sense that he finally belongs, that he is loved. Her face isn't perfect nor smooth. It has some wrinkles too, her cheeks have acne and scars but it doesn't take away from her beauty. It enriches it. Sure, skin as smooth as velvet and perfect like a baby's is desirable, but this little imperfection of hers relaxes him. It assures him she's not an elusive dream, but reality and she's his. She's all his.

"Do you think other versions of us found each other? Like we did?" Her eyes are closed and the way she speaks is slow, lazy. She's half asleep, but she's thinking about the possibility of other Y/Ns and Graysons loving each other, being as happy as they are.

"I think no matter what happens or where I am, this planet and reality or another, I always find you. We were always meant to meet, Lil Birdie. It's written in the stars. I know it is." He looks down, noticing her breathing evened out and she's out cold.

His phone pings, and though he wants to sleep, he chooses to look at the message.

From: Linda Jamison (Psychic twins)

You found her.

He looks up to the ceiling, grinning so widely his face hurts. But Linda just told him he found her as she lays in his arms and he's happiest he's ever been. Ever since her eyes locked with his, her hand brushed against his, her slightly raspy voice reached his ear, Grayson knew he would be putty in her hands. Her lips against his give him such a rush that nearly makes him fall over. Each day with her is another day he falls more for her smile, her laugh, her personality, her mind and everything else about her. He knew he found the one even before they told him, but having it confirmed is insane and peaceful. It prompts him to think about their future down the line more than he already has, about their house and marriage and kids...it's all lining up in his head that night as he slowly loses his battle with sleep and drifts away with Y/N in his arms.

Once they woke up, Grayson was giddy and overly excited about driving her to class. He skipped about the entire time, making sure she packs all her things and he even made her a fruit salad for later. His enthusiasm didn't go unnoticed as Y/N kept shushing him, knowing Ethan's still asleep. She couldn't understand how he can be so chipper at six in the morning when the Sun's barely up. Though she loved hearing his voice, she definitely needed some silence after just opening her eyes. She soon realized that's not an option and embraced it as she embraced Grayson too, effectively stopping his jabberer and calming him down.

"Breathe, Grayson." Her voice is muffled by his chest, her hands sliding into his back pockets, lazily resting there while he squeezes her tightly. He's a hugger, she knew that. It's not just any kind of a hug that she's used to, but a soul, bone-crushing kind of a hug where he doesn't let up, pressing her as close to him as possible until she starts seeing stars and needs to take a breath. It's one of those hugs where you know the person doesn't want to let you go, that it's not a courteous hug but one seeded in love, a genuine want for closeness.

She hears him take a deep breath, his chest moving accordingly. The air he releases with his exhale plays with the electrified strands of her hair, forcing them to dance and bend under the pressure until it's gone and they stand still once more.

"Sorry. I'm just happy you're here, Lil' Birdie." Grayson leans his chin on top of her head and closes his eyes, gently swaying them left to right. He wants nothing more than to keep her right there in his arms, in the privacy of his bedroom. But he can't and he knows he can't. He has to let her fly and hope she comes back to him. There are no words to show her how much he loves her, nor song perfect enough to describe it. So he takes his soul and pours it out at her feet, waiting patiently for her to give him some sign she loves him back. He'll always put her before him, until his last breath roams in. Until the end of time, he'll be hers and he prays she'll be his.

"Me too, Gray bear." She taps his buttock, letting him know she needs oxygen and he releases her from his death grip. He furrows his eyebrows, narrowing his eyes at the nickname she used, maintaining eye contact until she rolls her eyes.

"I'm trying some things out." She shrugs, throwing her book bag over her shoulder and going into the kitchen. She takes out a pack of pills from her bag, stuffing three pills in her mouth and washing it all down with a large chug of water.

Grayson walks it, seeing her putting the cap back on and slipping the bottle in her bag too.

"Ready, Birdie?" He gives her a crooked smile as he leans on a counter, watching her nervous smile surface.

"Yeah. Let's go." She bites the right corner of her bottom lip, before standing on her tiptoes and pecking his lips. She passes by him, leaving Grayson flustered and blushing, scrambling after her clumsily like a deer on ice.

He manages to outrun her, accidentally shoving her into the door and getting an angry 'HEY' on her behalf. Sheepish, Grayson cups her face and pecks her lips, running to the car to open the door for her.

"Sure, knock me into the front door to open the car door for me. You're certifiable." She shakes her head at him, rolls her eyes and enters the car again. It's insane how he's acting like she needs him on top of his game all the time, when in reality she just wants someone who tries. She doesn't need him to give her the world, but she wants him to want to do that. It's the thought that counts and she didn't expect him to keep running circles around her.

"Did it hurt?" He asks shyly, getting a huff from her.

"Kinda hurt my arm, but I'm fine. I don't need you to always open my door and stuff, babe. Just relax a little. You're going to get us both killed if you keep it up." She couldn't help the smile that curved her lips to the side, one that signified she isn't angry at him at all. She just wants him to be himself around her, because he's enough for her as he is.

"I'll kiss it better." Grayson starts to lean in, lips puckered up but is stopped by Y/N's palm instead of her lips.

"I'll be late!" She whines, making a disgusted face when Grayson licks her palm as revenge.

All the while, Y/N's tapping her fingers on the dashboard, her entire body is leaned forward and stiff, completely betraying her first day nerves.

"You'll do fine, Birdie. Just be yourself." Grayson reassured her, moving his hand to her left knee for a light squeeze in support. He smiles when she glances at him, longing for a kiss from her.

"I don't really do well when I'm myself. I'm not a 'people person'." She puts air quotes around the last bit, frowning deeply. Her frown brings out two vertical lines between her eyebrows, ones still shallow and new to her face.

"You won me over." Grayson points out, moving his index finger up and down her knee cap.

"You don't count because you're as weird as I am." She accidentally blurts out, making Grayson's eyes widen.

"So we're not that different after all!" He cheered, his booming voice both hurting and blessing her ears at the same time. She flinched with the loudness, raising a brow to his statement.

"Oh, we're still fundamentally different. I guess opposites attract, otherwise we wouldn't be in this car right now. Not together, at least." She remarked, placing a hand over the one he kept on her knee. She took it in hers, bringing it to her lips to leave a soft kiss on the back of it. Her pink lipstick stains his skin, but Grayson only presses his lips to stop a happy chortle bubbling in the back of his throat from scaring the softest, most gentle human being he's ever met.

"Oh, look. We're a block away." Y/N mussed, letting go of Grayson's hand reluctantly.

She didn't want to leave him and go in on her own. She's never been good at making friends or with first impressions. Especially not when she's this nervous. Her heart's practically beating out of her chest and her breathing is labored, dragged out and detectable.

"Breathe, Y/N. Just breathe." Grayson comforts her, reminding her to calm down with the same words she used on him twice now. But it worked; not the words, but his voice. It's what alleviated the rush of panic in her body and forced the adrenaline to stop dictating orders that would force her to run in the opposite direction.

The closer they get to the gates, the more people turn around to look at the Porsche. Y/N mentally face palms upon realizing this car, although beautiful, attracts way too much unwanted attention.

Grayson parks, immediately shifting in his seat to take both her hands in his. He can feel them shaking, his heart aching for her. He's aware this isn't easy for her. Her entire life got turned upside down in two day’s time and now she's on this continent, all of her dreams came true but she's lost everything else in the process. He's determined to let her know she has him, that she'll always have him.

"I love you and I know you're scared, but you can do this. You've done a lot more with a lot less effort and I believe in you. Go Lil' Birdie. Go and win them over as you did with me." He offers her a wide smile, giving her the courage she needed.

Grateful to have him near, Y/N leans into him. She kisses his lips, her right hand gently caressing his neck.

"I love you, Grayson Bailey Dolan." With a small smile, she opens the door and stands on her shaky legs. She gives him a quick wave, assuring him she'll be fine and walks into the campus.

A lot of people looked at her, all assessing her and her possible worth. No one actually walked up to her, nor gave her any indication they're friendly. The girls sent her glares, some of them took photos of her and the guys all talked about the car she came in. She felt like a ZOO animal, watched and filmed by everyone and all because Grayson drove her. And he's supposed to pick her up too which only made her more nervous.

Quickly, she rushes to the administration, finding a few forms to fill that she couldn't do online. Feeling a little overwhelmed, she walks to her first class of the day, looking ahead to avoid meeting eyes with people gossiping about her.

This was going to be a long day.

"What happened?" Grayson glances sideways, his eyebrows creased and lips pressed together. Y/N has been nothing but silent since he picked her up and though he saw her wave to someone before getting in and giving him a good smooch, she's barely spoken to him since.

She gave him short answers and polite smiles, ones he didn't buy. Sure, she's been stuffing her face with the gluten free meal he picked up on his way, but he hoped she's be spilling her entire day without him asking.

"Nthng." Her words are jumbled and muffled with food, but he can still understand her. He doesn't want to pester her for answers, but he decided on doing so once they get home. They're not even a foot inside when he drapes an arm around her and pulls her to the living room to talk. 

"Talk to me." He sits on the couch, crossing his legs so the outside of his right ankle is resting on his left knee.

Y/N sits on the other end of the couch, fidgeting with her rings.

"I uh - saw the photos all over the internet...Some people recognized me because they saw your car this morning and I'm officially known as your girlfriend worldwide." Y/N crinkles her nose, releasing a heavy sigh.

"And anyone who talked to me today either wanted to befriend me so they can get close to you guys or to insult me. I made one friend today in total and Jesse helped me out. I'm just a little down because I didn't expect for us to be known so soon." She bites her lower lip, hearing the couch cry under Grayson's shifting weight as he moves closer to her.

"I don't regret us, though. Don't want you to think that. Just - I was kind of caught off guard and then everyone's already formed groups 'cause they met in the dorm and I'm not there so I'm basically going to miss everything all the time. Jesse is the only one living off campus, so we sort of connected fast." She smiles meekly, looking at Grayson's worried face. She runs a knuckle down his left cheek, leaving a peck on it right after.

"Can I do something?" Grayson asks, confusing her.

"What?" She had no clue what he planned, but he let her shower and change clothes. He waited for her to start studying before grabbing his phone and logging into his Snapchat account.

"Grayson?" She gives him a pointed look, furrowing her eyebrows as she took her glasses out of the case. He shushed her, getting a glare in return.

"Just do you while I film my plants. Don't worry." His voice is mellow, too innocent for her to believe him. Regardless, she puts her purple framed - flowery glasses on and opens the rather large book in front of her and a small notebook on her lap. She sits crisscrossed, completely losing herself in her first assignment. She's wearing Grayson's baby blue hoodie and her own black leggings with DT socks on her feet. Her hair is brushed over her right shoulder and down, although she usually has it up in a bun. Even so, Grayson's smitten with her natural state and no matter how badly he wishes he could cuddle with her, he knows she needs to study and he needs to go through with his plan.

He points the camera at himself, talking.

"So, here's a plant tour to show off some new flowers I got." He smirks, switching from the front camera to the back one and showing the first one.

"This is Benji", he moves to the next one, "and Barry", slowly filming each of his plants before coming to the last one. He turns the camera to Y/N, slowly zooming in on her flowery glasses.

"And this is Y/N, my favorite flower and girlfriend." He quickly switches the camera to the front one again, showing his beaming smile and cutting the video off when Y/N shouts his name upon realization what his plan was.

From that night on, they spent as much time together as humanly possible. Grayson would drive her to and from class as promised, always buying her food to munch on the way home. He uses the time she's busy with school to film with Ethan, tricking her to miss most of the work he told her she could do in the process. He could see she's buried in assignments and books, not wanting to add onto her stress. When she did help them, it was extremely fun for both Ethan and Grayson. She's always making them laugh and her ideas are more than helpful.

Living together became an adventure on its own. Ethan and Y/N got along quite well, but teased each other mercilessly. He's a night owl which definitely served well for bonding with Y/N who more often than not either couldn't fall asleep or had to study all night. She'd lull Grayson to sleep and study in the kitchen, taking small breaks to play Fortnite with Ethan. There were a few hiccups here and there though, like when Ethan walked in on her changing and she threw a shoe at his head, hitting the mark.

"Grayson, I need the", his eyes widen as Y/N screams, her reflex reaction being to throw a shoe at Ethan, "OWH, Y/N!"

Or the fact that they weren't intimate, but both yearned for it. Grayson felt like his head would explode and Y/N was slowly losing her inner battle too. She told him she always wanted to wait for marriage, because it's the way she's been raised and her culture is different than his as are her morals. She's grown in an environment that's a stark contrast to the one he grew up in and he understood her beliefs aren't the same. But that didn't mean his understanding helped them relieve the sexual tension growing between them. Y/N would often glare at him when his shirt is off and called him a 'temptress' and he called her his 'favorite sin'.

"It's not that I don't want to have sex with you, because trust me I REALLY DO. Like, really, really do. I'd just like to at least try and uphold the promises I made to myself. I fear I'd lose myself if I break this vow I've taken."  She sighed, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.

"Okay then. Until we're married. I'm going to die, but okay." Grayson agreed, fully invested in helping her keep that promise. He practically salivated at every inch of skin she showed and they certainly came close to abolishing their promises more than once, but Grayson never went beyond what she asked for. Whenever they got too hot and heavy and clothes got lost on the floor, Grayson would often be the one to stop it from advancing.

"You just can't keep your hands to yourself, huh?" He whispered in her ear, his lips swollen from their make out session. He adjusted his pants to make room for his bulge, one that he would take care of later.

"I can, but why the hell would I want to?" Y/N breathed and Grayson threw his head back with a growl erupting in his chest.

"I'M GOING TO DIE!"  He shouts dramatically, briskly toppling over Y/N and pinning her under his body, burying his face in her neck to suck a small mark right behind her right ear.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I will lock myself in the bathroom and take a long shower." He left Y/N to deal with her own hormones in the room, knowing he left a mark to show anyone who dares to flirt with his girl that she's taken.

On the other hand, there were issues whenever his friends came over. Bryant basically comes around twice a day to exercise and they get along great, but James and Emma were frequent too.

Emma made her visibly uncomfortable because Emma's an extrovert and one that's unafraid to be loud and say the most inappropriate things at the worst of times, while Y/N's the quiet, painfully polite type and so she shies away from her company though she'd never admit it.

But her biggest issue is James and his constant need to touch or flirt with Grayson which unnerved her. Y/N never knew she's the jealous type nor that she's possessive until she saw James fling his arms around Grayson and call him his future husband.

"Ahh! My future husband everyone!" James exclaimed, making Y/N fume. It's not the first advance he made on her man, which only made her blood boil. She trusts her Grayson, so that's not the issue here. For unknown reasons, she does something she didn't expect.

She pushes into the frame, detaching James from Grayson with a fake smile and attaching herself to him. She kisses him with all her might, reminding him he's hers and everyone else around them as well. Grayson's holding her close, she's running her fingers through his hair and pulling at the ends. Grayson moans into the kiss, making James gag in disgust and Y/N smile, cutting their show of affection short.

"Missed you, dragi (dear)." She smiles, wiping her lipstick off his mouth with her thumb, making it worse when it smudges. But her smile only widens and she winks at him, saying "Perfect" before going to their room to study.

After that, she made it a habit to mark her territory just as Grayson did. They trusted each other completely, but there's something in every person that wants others to just keep their hands away from their partners. Grayson also had a habit of always touching Y/N, making sure his hand is at least brushing her skin, which she mimicked subconsciously.

Despite it all, they made their own traditions. Grayson took her hiking every Sunday and Saturday was reserved for the beach per Y/N's insistence. Another thing she insisted on was Ethan tagging along on their little dates because she didn't like him being alone in the house.

She understood their twin connection, supporting it all the time and as much as possible. She needed them to stay close and she didn't want Ethan to feel left out. He always showed gratitude and quickly adapted to her presence around the house. He loved her cooking and humor, especially how she never got offended by his sarcastic remarks. Instead, she threw one back at him and they were usually so savage he started to take notes.

Y/N was happy in school, passing her exams and always hanging out with Jesse during breaks. So far, Grayson knew only a couple of things about her friend.

1. Jesse is a blonde.

2. Jesse loves coffee.

3. Jesse is funny and always makes her laugh.

4. Jesse lives close by.

5. Jesse always offers her a ride.

Y/N always talked about Jesse, but Grayson has yet to meet this friend of hers. He's honestly just happy she found someone she relates to and someone that has her back. Especially when he started filming more videos and his time with her became limited.

That something he'll regret later on.

However, their issues first started when Grayson found Y/N's many pills and his brain instantly went to the worst possible thing he could imagine: that she's taking drugs to study. But that wasn't the case.

"What are they for?!" He throws the packs of pills on the table in front of Y/N and Ethan, red in the face but inside he's shaking. He's terrified of her being hooked on something, of losing her to drugs and he blames himself for not noticing it sooner.

"Sit down and stop yelling first." Y/N says firmly, asserting her dominance as she knows Grayson will listen. She knows he'll listen because he's learned everything there is to know about her and he knows she won't have a screaming match, but a real conversation because nothing gets solved with people screaming on both ends. For that to happen, he needs to calm his explosive nature down and let her talk or he won't get any explanations that he's desperate for.

So, he does as she asked and sits across from her and beside Ethan. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a slow, deep breath to clear his mind and let go of the anger fueled by his fears. When he raises his eyes and looks into her captivating orbs, he's calmer and still nowhere close to peaceful.

"Those are for health reasons." She begins, swallowing thickly. Grayson can tell she's rather uncomfortable talking about this, but he needs to know.

"The green packs are for my thyroid because I have Hashimoto's disease. It's an autoimmune disorder and it helps me replace hormones the antibodies destroy." She sees both Grayson and Ethan's face change, their demeanor with it as well. Grayson's adjusting his blue bracelet and Ethan's running a hand through his hair to stop himself from freaking out.

"The white satchels help me because I have polycystic ovaries or better known as PCOS." She licks her lips, pointing to a yellow pack.

"Those help my insulin levels, because I have an insulin resistance." Her eyes flicker between the brothers who are staring at the bag of pills she carries around and drinks on daily bases in pain. They're in pain for her. They ache for her. She's about their age and she's struggling with so much. But she wasn't done.

"The big white ones are painkillers for days I can't handle the pain. The small green ones are for insomnia if I get too overwhelmed and I've never gotten on antidepressant or anxiolytics because my therapist knows my moods swings and anxiety, even occasional panic attacks happen because of my hormones. Most of these issues and others that I have are untreatable and a result of a pituitary tumor that's growing inside my head but it's currently too small to cause damage or for surgery to be necessary." She folds her hands in front of her, awaiting their reaction. It's as if she tortured them with the information they seeked. They're hunched over, frowning deeply and avoiding eye contact with her.

It's as she feared; they'll treat her differently.

"I'm fine. Don't go and treat me like I'm made of glass. I fight all this and have been fighting it since fourth grade and I'm not about to give up." She says sternly, reaching out to grab a hand from each twin. They look up, eyes glossed over with tears they want to shed. She grew on them both, worming her way into their hearts and after the loss they suffered, even the possibility of losing her is insufferable.

"You're in pain?!" Grayson's voice cracks and she looks up to the ceiling, mulling over what she could tell them and not cause panic.

"Yes." But she chooses the truth.

"Mostly my joints and muscles and it's tolerable. I have a high pain tolerance naturally, so unless you see me popping the big white pills, I'm fine. It's nothing new and I don't want you to stress about it." She emphasizes her claim about being well, but it doesn't help the boys. It's not something they take as lightly as she does.

"When you're not feeling well, you'll tell me. Am I clear?" Grayson tries to sound stern and puts on a brave face for her because he knows she'd hate to be looked at differently. It would destroy her. That didn't mean he'd forget all about this.

"Okay." She smiles at her man, grateful for having someone so supportive in her life. She's been missing him more and more lately, mostly because all their time together is packed in him driving her around and sleeping in the same bed. She's aware he's filming a lot of collaborative videos, but it doesn't settle the ache in her heart whenever he's away for too long.

Grayson's attempt of being the same around her weren't quite successful, but he tried and it's all she ever wanted from him. She wants him to want to be who she needs him to be, to try and she loves him for it. She loves all of him, all the time. She loves him even when he's driving her crazy with questions about how she feels or him spontaneously rubbing her joints or massaging her muscles. She loves him even when he reminds her to take her pills or pushes her to get out of bed when it's the last thing she needs. She simply loves him in the most complicated way she's ever known.

She always thought Grayson is the most attractive person she's ever met. Unlike most people, she never saw his tall form and bulky built as the reason why, although it certainly served as an added bonus. No, what convinced Y/N about Grayson's beauty was something entirely different. It's in the way his forehead wrinkles and eyebrows furrow when she mutters something in her native tongue and he's utterly confused, not understanding a word she's saying, but still puts an arm around her in case she's upset and he just doesn't know it. It's in the way his seemingly intimidating gaze lights up like a Christmas tree whenever she walks into the room and he becomes the cuddliest person in the world. It's in the way he quirks his eyebrow when he's trying to flirt and in the way he smirks when he's trying to be suggestive and cute. It's in the way he drags the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip when he wants to kiss her so badly it hurts and it's in the way he smiles so widely when she tells him she loves him that she's sure she'll never see such a genuine human emotion in another human being. That's where his sex-appeal comes from in her eyes and she's memorized his face, every line and crevice, every imperfection she deemed perfection to last her eternity.

"You're staring." He opens one eye, feeling her gaze upon him. Their Sunday hike turned chaotic when a storm rolled in, so they stayed in and spent the day cuddling. To be honest, they both needed that. They needed to feel close and to feel each other's bodies as they needed air to breathe. Because for Grayson, Y/N is the air he breaths.

"I'm just thinking." She replies quietly, a graceful ghost of a smile dancing on her lips as if she's a little confused, but also completely sure of something that's a mystery to Grayson.

"About?" He wondered, running his fingertips across her upper arm and silently celebrating that she still gets chills from his touch.

"Us. You." She pauses. "Mostly you."

Grayson's face warms as she creeps closer and rests her arms on his shoulders. He always liked when she touched him, not in a sexual manor, just feeling her skin on his. He longed for it; he craved it. The way her nimble hands caress his face, or her gentle eyes met his own. Her beauty is incredible; his heart loving her more and more by the second until he's sure there's no room left for his growing heart inside his chest. He's always surprised by the amount of love he feels for her, the clear adoration she evokes in him. Whenever he thinks there's no way his love could grow, he's proven wrong. And that's his favorite thing about her; she showed him what endless amounts of love means.

"Falling in love with you feels like home. When you smile at me I feel invisible hands wrapping around me making me feel safe. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see galaxies in them. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, like I can conquer anything. I don't regret meeting you and I know you might be my first but what I really wish in life is for you to be my last." She spills her heart open, bringing tears to Grayson's eyes.

"Wow, my allergies are really bad today." He uttered, wiping his tired eyes.

"Kako te samo volim, budalice. (If you only knew how much I love you, silly.)" Her words halt Grayson's movements and he narrows his eyes at her.

"No fair. What did you say?!" He demands a translation, but she just shakes her head and connects their lips swiftly.

"Nope. Learn the language or suffer in the dark." Y/N brushes her nose against his once more before returning in her original position, her head on his chest and eyes closed. He groans, but doesn't object. In that moment, he swore he'd try and learn her native tongue and at least be able to say something in it by her birthday which was only a few months away. It would be a great gift to go with what he already got her, solidifying his best boyfriend of the year status.

"You said Jesse can pick you up tomorrow?" Grayson remembers, making sure Y/N's taken care of for the morning. She nods in reply, nuzzling into him.

It's the first time he'll miss taking her to class which felt like a slap to the face, but his obligations are expanding faster than he expected and to the extent he didn't anticipate. With the gym for children with special needs being made and them producing five music videos in the next two months, making their own videos and going back to New Jersey to help their mother with the maintenance of their property as they promised...well, Grayson's got himself stretched thin and the time he missed spending with Y/N the past few weeks would be reduced greatly.

He's sure their relationship is strong enough to survive it, all of it. They still argue and their differences are as clear as day most of the time, but they always find a way around them. Their communication is perfect as their honesty is and that's why they work so well. When Grayson needs advice, Y/N's the one to stop him from doing something stupid or reckless. She points him in the right direction and never judges him nor Ethan for their lack of common sense as he likes to call it. She's his brain and it's why their videos have been amazing lately. He even planned a video with her in it after her birthday, but he'll have to butter her up for it.

While Y/N serves as Grayson's common sense, his brain, he's her heart. He helps her adjust to new people and new places, introducing her to his friends and world slowly. He softens her up, helping her to be open to adventure and chaos because that's what he and Ethan are. They're chaos and no amount of planning helps change that. So yes, Grayson is helping her let go of control and just learn to go where the current takes her. He makes her appreciate the little things and makes her laugh. He has her so enthralled, but it doesn't mean she's blind to his faults.

She hates how easily he throws his money around to buy the stupidest things simply to own them. She hates how he refuses to let her buy things on her own and in a way takes away bits and pieces of her pride. She hates how often he gets tattoos and though she'd never admit it, she doesn't like half of them. She hates and loves how casual he is about life. She hates and loves how he uses his charm to get out of things he shouldn't be able to get out of. She loves how he wants to save the world and never stops thinking of ideas to help people. She loves how he radiates positivity, even when he's feeling anything but. She loves how caring he is, truly caring in his core and how he never lets her clam up, making sure she's well.

In conclusion, she both loves and hates him and she would never change it.

I'm in love with a tattooed avocabo loving brand whore, she thought with a faint smile as she fell asleep in his arms.

When she woke up, Y/N was hazy and tired. She rubbed the sleep out her eyes, squinting to see how she's supposed to remove this Grayson-made cage off her body. His soft snores make her giggle lowly. While she could barely sleep with Mr. Snorelax at first, she now found the sounds soothing. They assured her he's there, that he's breathing and she was safe in his arms. Using both her hands to lift the arm he used to trap her in his embrace, Y/N slid from under it and placed her pillow in her stead. She put her clothes on in the bathroom, grabbed her prepacked bag and tiptoed to the bed. Leaning in, she kissed his left temple and caressed his hair gingerly. It's always hard saying goodbye to him, even for a short while.

Leaving the room, she goes for the fridge to grab the fruit salad Grayson always prepares the night before. She finds it in the bottom left corner of the fridge, furrowing her eyebrows once she finds a note on top of the container.

To keep my Lil' Birdie strong and healthy. You're my inspiration as I am yours. I love you.

Y/N feels like her entire body is physically melting with the note he left her. It's not unusual for Grayson to compliment her or get her flowers or her favorite food. He makes sure she takes enough water and leaves the room when she's studying. He reminds her to take her pills and he's the one who lets her vent for hours on end if that's what she needs. Then there are his surprise dates and gestures that leave her speechless. He always has something sweet waiting for her and she loved that side of him. She loved that he's a romantic, a hopeless one at that.

Putting the note in her wallet and the container in her bag, she walked out the front door and just as she's about to lock up a loud noise scares her. She turns around to find her friend Jesse in a car, pressing the horn. Waving her arms vividly, she runs to the car and hops in, stopping the noise.

"Drive, you maniac!" She orders, taking a cup of tea Jesse offers her. She loved being with Jesse, finding a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and a great study buddy. Jesse always had great insight and offered advice a licensed therapist would. Jesse never judged her for being an international student, nor her connection to the twins. Jesse proved to be an amazing friend and one that made her feel good about herself. Gossip girls stayed away from them and she wasn't an outcast anymore. Though the situation with her being Grayson's girlfriend never stopped on the internet, she found it to be quiet in Jesse's company. There was no hate or jealousy, just friendship.

The entire day passed with Grayson not seeing Y/N. It's the first time he woke up and she wasn't there, but he didn't hold it against her. It's only natural for couples to do things on their own, even if some of those things used to be their special thing.

He groans, yelling CUT for the fifth time in a row. For some reason, the shoot was a disaster the entire day. People ran late, equipment broke and it was clear he'd probably stay and shoot all through the night.

To: Lil' Birdie

I'm sorry, babe, but I'll have to stay here over night. Do u need me for anything?

Y/N frowned upon reading his text, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Yes, they've grown codependent and clingy with each other because Grayson had tears prick at his eyes while typing the text too. It's going to be their first night away from each other since she moved to L.A. and she didn't want to be alone.

To: Gray-bear

Don't worry about me. I'll probably stay over at Jesse's. Love you, babe. You're doing great!

Grayson smiles at her text, but it doesn't lift the weight and pressure on his chest for not seeing her today. He needs her like the air he breaths, like his heart needs blood to beat and he realizes that's turning toxic now. It's not toxic when they're together, but it's a waste dump when they're away from each other. They need to have some space and time alone, or so he tells himself.

To: Lil' Birdie

Love u 2, Sunshine. Have fun xx

They lock their phones and lean back in their seats, feeling the same disruption in their mood despite being on opposite sides of the same city. They feel the same disruption in their mood precisely because they're on opposite sides of the same city.

Y/N couldn't sleep that night. Not without his soft snores and steel tight cuddles. She's grown accustomed to his presence and now she's lost it so abruptly. The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of her bones. It was a chill wind trapped in the chambers of her heart.

Unfortunately, this occurrence that was supposed to be an isolated incident ended up becoming a new tradition. More often than not, Y/N would wake up to Grayson wrapped around her like she's his lifeline, but she doesn't know when he came back that night. He'd wake without her there, knowing she's with Jesse. They don't see each other during the day and Grayson often sends that dreaded 'pulling an all-nighter' text that breaks her heart. Half the time, she just stays with Jesse, using the time with a friend to push the anxiety creeping up on her.

It's no longer exam anxiety, but relationship anxiety.

Y/N is painfully aware her extremely tall, dark and handsome boyfriend is spending all his time with gorgeous models and artists now instead of being with her. She barely sees him anymore and even their texts and cute love notes have gone way down. The sane part of her mind is accepting and understanding, because that is his job and he can't just drop everything for her on demand. It tells her he's in love with her and he'd never hurt her. It assures her he's loyal and she trusts him. But the other part of her brain, that nagging part she can't shut down is screaming at her. It's screaming he's sex deprived because of her, that the models around him will surely flirt with him and she didn't know if he would resist them or let it happen. She didn't know if he even missed her anymore, because it's been almost a month and they spend twenty hours a week together and most of that time is while they're asleep.

And she knows she's overreacting and she should listen to sanity, but it's hard. It's hard because they've barely talked for a whole month and when communication is sparse, the relationship suffers greatly. Trust starts to dwindle and those opposites come back up and bite them in the ass. There's no time to work around them anymore, nor to talk things through. Hell, even their weekends have fallen victim to his obligations and it's eating her up alive.

She never knew that missing someone could take over every fiber of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day. It is a torment she was unprepared for. It's worse than it was when she had to leave him behind. It felt worse because she had some finality to their farewell then, giving her time to accept it as an appropriate goodbye. She didn't know what it means to have him, truly have him like she does now.

Another month passes and this one is harder than the last one. Grayson and Ethan had left her alone in the house, flying to New Jersey to help their mum and for a collaboration with Doctor Mike, the only other YouTuber she liked. It was her idea to begin with and she wanted to go with them, but they left a week before spring break and she was buried in exams.

And now, her birthday is twenty hours away, Grayson's still in New York and she hadn't heard from him in two days. All she got was a measly snap of a view and 'Thinkin' about u' written on it. No proclamations of love, not even a photo of his face. It no longer saddened her, but angered her as well.

She wipes the steam from the mirror, feeling a little better after crying her heart out in the shower. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she's shocked. She looks okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for him gnaws at the very heart that still beats endlessly for him. She pulls her lips into a smile, and lets out a frightened sob when she realized that anyone could easily mistake this lackluster grin for real happiness. It amazes her to think how she reverberated to the cold persona she used to be before he softened her. She's brilliant in pretending to be okay, but she's desperate for someone to notice that she's not.

Jesse noticed, but she didn't want Jesse to fix her. She didn't want Jesse to love her or show her how to keep on going. She's clinging to the ruin of her broken heart.

From: Gray - bear

I'll be home for your birthday. Promise. Be ready at 5, babe xx

She waited for him to come home that day as he promised. That slight spring in her step returned as she went around the house and fixed it for the boys to come back to a clean place. She felt like a stranger in the house without Grayson and Ethan, especially when the quiet settled in and left her alone with her thoughts. That's why she spent most of her time at Jesse's. She couldn't handle the silence.

But now, she had hope and something to look forward to. Spring break finally started and she had time and means to spend it all with her boyfriend. She tried to push away the thoughts of her ever doubting him out her mind and just enjoy the day.

Her family called and she talked to them for a full hour, and another half an hour with her best friend from back home who got married just before Y/N left. She's pregnant now and Y/N feels like she's missing so many important events back home, making her sadder than she already is.

She went into the closet and picked out her favorite green dress with the lacy top and flowy skirt that spread from just above her love-handles and down to her knees. The back is open and the sleeves are covering only the upper portion of her shoulders. Beads shaped like flower petals beautify the part just above the skirt and below her bust. She ties a bow at the back and lets her hair loose. Curling it, she watches the curls bounce to her mid back, showing some skin. She took some time to truly put on her make-up, deciding to go for the wow factor James often told her would look good on her. It took a longer time than she anticipated, but her make-up was acceptable and actually accentuated her features well.

Proud, Y/N grabs her phone to check the time only to frown when she sees Grayson's twenty minutes late. She texts him, plopping down on their bed.

And she waits, and waits and waits but with no reply. She can see photos of him in LAX surface on twitter, fans tagging her too.

Shaking her head with a bitter chuckle escaping her lips, Y/N calls up Jesse to pick her up. She was done waiting for Grayson while her make up melts and her curls turn straight again. She needed to vent, to get the anger out or she'd explode.

Hearing the familiar horn ten minutes later, Y/N rushes to the door with an overnight bag in tow. She wanted to be with him for so long and now she couldn't bear the thought of him touching her. She couldn't believe how stupid she felt for believing he'd actually show up for her on her birthday. Sure, she understood and supported his absence for over a month now, but it piled on and on and even the most understanding person would burst by now. He had been a boyfriend in name only and she was tired of being with someone and still not having him with her.

All the things she loves about him annoyed her now. She hated how he folded their clothes when it was his turn to do the laundry and she hated the way he made the bed. He never cleaned his shower, she did and he never put the books she gave him for reading back on the shelf. While he seems as the clean twin, he's the messy one who tries not to be. She's not. She keeps things clean and she likes them in certain places around the house and when it's all changed up, it unnerves her.

So, yes. She needed a night to vent to her best friend who Grayson never bothered to meet despite her inviting him along constantly. She met all his friends and hung with them even when she didn't really like them or the way they treated her boyfriend. He never did the same for her and she only had one person to introduce him to.

Blinded by anger, she opens the door and to her surprise she finds Grayson down the driveway. He's talking to Jesse, turning to the house in slow motion and with a visibly disheveled appearance.

Y/N walks down, waving to Jesse. Grayson doesn't lean in like he used to do on instinct, as he's so used to Y/N pecking his lips whenever she walked by. Instead, he narrows his eyes and folds his arms across his broad chest. His nostrils flare and jaw clenches and Y/N can tell he's pissed.

"You're leaving with Jesse instead of spending your birthday with me?" He asks through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching so hard Y/N wonders how all his teeth are still intact.

"Oh, nice to see you too boyfriend who doesn't even answer his phone when I call anymore." She retorts, mimicking his position.

"Don't reflect my questions. You're leaving with your friend who is a GUY and I only find this out now?! You've been spending all your time with a guy, sleeping at his place and you didn't think that was important information to share?!" Grayson shouts, his booming voice forcing Y/N to step back and visibly flinch. He softens immediately, but the anger he feels is still burning in his eyes.

"The only reason you don't know he's a guy is because you never bothered to meet him. Oh, yeah, another thing, I waited for you for four hours! Hell, for two months if we're being real now!" She whisper shouts, refusing to raise her voice enough for the neighbors to hear.

Grayson chuckles dryly, shaking his head at her.

"You're serious now? I'm here and I want to spend time with you because yeah, I missed you! I just want you and you're basically cheating on me!" Grayson doesn't yell as loud as he did the first time around, but his voice is loud and filled with anger Y/N never saw in him before and she doesn't like it.

Not one bit.

"Whoa! We're just friends, man. Let up on her." Jesse gets out of the car, stepping between them to diffuse the situation. Y/N puts a hand on his shoulder and Grayson's eyes focus on it, only fueling the fire.

"She's my girl and I have every right to get answers from her." Grayson get in Jesse's face and Y/N's heart sinks. She's genuinely fearful of what's happening, afraid of Grayson's reaction. She's used to Grayson being loud, but always in a playful manor. Never like this.

"Jesse, you should go." She talks in a small, but calm voice which only alerts Jesse that he should stay.

"I'm not leaving you with this hothead." He tells her, keeping his place between them to make sure Grayson can't touch her.

"I won't hurt her." Grayson's face falls, realizing what Jesse implied. His eyes flicker to Y/N and her eyes are filled with unshed tears and something he never thought he'd invoke in her; fear.

"Baby... Y/N, you know I'd never. I'm just...frustrated and I don't understand why you never told me about him and I missed you. I MISS you so much it hurts. Please, baby, you gotta believe me." Grayson's voice cracks several times in his plea for Y/N's understanding and forgiveness.

His eyes meet hers, a silent conversation exchanging between them.

"Jesse, go. He won't hurt me." She tells him bleakly, not breaking eye contact with Grayson until Jesse turns to her in shock.

"How sure are you?" He asks, trusting her judgement. If Y/N says something, he trusts her on it unconditionally.

"Absolutely certain." Her voice is steady, no doubt in it which makes Jesse shake his head in response.

"Then you should know something." Jesse leans in, preparing himself to tell her the truth of things he didn't piece together until this night. He has witnessed one of Grayson's indiscretions and he wasn't going to keep his secret. He didn't owe him anything, but now that he's certain this man is the same one he saw, he knew he owed it to Y/N. She should know the truth.

"Your wonderful boyfriend here is the one who messed with your dorm room. He cancelled it for you." Jesse wasn't aware of it then, or maybe he was, but he opened a Pandora box when he spilled a secret Grayson was most ashamed of.

Y/N's stares blankly at Jesse, slowly moving her gaze to Grayson as her eyes narrow and her gaze turns into a glare.

"Jesse, go." She orders, stopping him before he objects. "GO."  And he does, leaving an active volcano in his wake.

Y/N turns on her heel, walking into the house briskly and without looking back. It takes a few moments before Grayson's capable of walking after her, knowing he has no defenses. He screwed up and he wouldn't blame her if she hated him.

He finds her pacing in the living room, gnawing on her lower lip and scratching her chin with her right hand. Her heels are kicked to the couch and her steps are quiet, but quick.

"I had no right." Grayson faltered. He had no words to explain his actions and definitely not ones to excuse his behavior from earlier. He should have trusted her as she trust him. He allowed the devil on his shoulder to win and now he has to suffer the consequences of all the devil's wins.

"No, you didn't...Do you even", she pauses, closing her eyes with her palm turned to him hanging in the air.

"Do you even know how it made me feel? You took my choice, my own place I got on my own merit and not because I'm with you! You took what I spent a month working to get and worst of all, you didn't tell me!" She lets out a bitter laugh, one that is followed with a shake of her head.

"You manipulated me into staying here, into something you knew I wouldn't take as my first choice! You knew I wanted to be independent and that I can't afford something other than the dorm. God, Grayson, do you even realize what you did?! How you've hurt me? Not just with that, but the mistrust?! You do realize that I wasn't completely happy with you being around all those models or about your fans always being inappropriate with you?! But I trusted you, even when my entire brain turned on me!" Her voice is hoarse already, laced with anger and pain he had only heard in the elevator on that fated day they met. The same day their love began and bloomed until Grayson burned it to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He falls to his knees.

"Please, forgive me. Please." He tugs at her dress, but she steps back.

"You! Ugh!" She's flushed, her hands made into fists and shaking by her sides. She's so angry at him that she'd rather claw at her skin than let him touch her. But she also wants his touch. It's like a drug, you both hate and crave it and eventually, she caves into her addiction.

She takes his hands and takes him to the bedroom, tears spilling from her eyes now as she takes her dress off while Grayson sits at the foot of the bed, unsure if he should leave or stay.

"I can sleep on the couch if you want me to." He offers, defeated and broken on the outside as he is on the inside.

"No. Just...hold me for tonight."

So he does. He holds her close, her back flush against his chest as he listens to her breathe. He missed the sound dearly.

Grayson doesn't even know what happened outside or who he was in that moment. He's never been that kind of a guy and worst of all, he scared the love of his life. He doesn't dare kiss her, afraid she'll change her mind and push him away.

It's just that the time they spent together decreased and when he started seeing Y/N's photos with some guy on social media and several of them at the time he asked her who she's with and she told him she's with Jesse. He assumed she lied to him, that she wanted to play him like he'd been played before. It shattered him.

So, yes, he's been angry. He has ignored Y/N and he tried to justify it in his mind, distancing himself from her while needing her the most. He promised himself he'd ask her about it and accept whatever explanation she gives him. But when he found Jesse in the driveway, his mind went to the worst possible outcome.

When morning comes, he'll face his punishment. He'll take whatever she throws at him, but for this night he'll just hold her. He can feel her sobs and his own follow. He'll just hold her while he still can. Until they cry themselves an ocean and tire out. And he did.

She pulls the pillow closer to her chest, gnawing on her bottom lip. Grayson doesn't even look up, choosing to stare at his fidgety fingers in his lap instead. Neither know how to verbalize what they feel, both feeling suffocated and troubled by everything.

"Maybe we were wrong." Y/N says quietly, taking a few short breaths in order to stop a choked sob from escaping her lips. Grayson looks up with furrowed eyebrows, torn about his own feelings and now the words coming from her mouth.

"Maybe we're just too different to make this work." She finished her initial statement, resting her chin on the purple pillow in her grasp to avoid Grayson's gaze.

Silence settles, finding a way to crack their hearts and the sound of their broken hearts shattering on the ground is almost deafening for Y/N to take. Instead of remaining quiet as Grayson is, she continues to speak in hopes of him talking her out of this. She wants him to be the dreamer she met, the same guy who wouldn't let her walk away from everything they've built without a fight. But he doesn't seem to be that guy anymore. He doesn't seem to be her Grayson.

"Opposites attract on paper, but how often do those stories have a happy ending? Were we wrong from the start?"

"No. We weren't. I messed up. I'm not worthy of you and I always knew that. If you want to do it - end this and you really don't love me anymore or you don't see anything worth fighting for, I'll let you go.“ Grayson sniffled, his entire body shaking.

She allowed him to explain how he feels and why he did what he did. He told her everything, even about the foundation he set up for her.

"It's not money I just gave you. Ethan and I both agreed to give you 33% of profits we made off videos you gave us an idea for. That's the money you got. You earned it and you've basically been earning money this entire time. We knew you'd say no to it, so we didn't make a contract or a non-disclosure agreement. It's money made thanks to you and you deserved it. That's the money that so called foundation gave you."

It's all in the open now and her choice, whatever it may be, will be his Constitution. Knowing he didn't just give her the money helped heal parts of her wounded pride, but it was still unnerving. It was difficult to accept he lied to her the entire time or him sabotaging her, much less the lack of trust he displayed. She knows it was the stress getting to him and the distance didn't help. He's been struggling more with his loss lately, changing his usual reactions as the anniversary passed. So she did understand. She just isn't sure if Grayson's state is temporary or he truly changed into this man she didn't recognize last night.

He can see her inner battle unravel and he can hear her breaking heart. He broke them both. It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continues.

"Do YOU think there's something left to fight for?" She directs her question to him, feeling the dark circles under her eyes as a weight of sorts, begging her to close her eyes.

"I do. I think we had something beautiful and the time we spent apart put a strain on us. Add stress and pictures taken out of context and you'll have yourself a mess. I know I've made mistakes, but I'm human. I never meant to hurt you, only help you. You're so stubborn and proud and I didn't want you to struggle. Not when I have more than enough to support you and your dreams. It wasn't a power play, but a genuine desire to give you a chance to do it all and be happy. I just want you happy and if I'm not your happiness anymore, I'll let you go. No strings attached." Grayson is grasping for straws, still holding onto hope that maybe their differences started to change into similarities. He hoped he rubbed off on her and she'd forgive him like he'd forgive her. He was ready to forgive her for cheating if that was the case, because that's how much he loves her and believes in a future with her.

"Think about it. Don't say anything right now if you're not sure. I'll just go get something quick." Grayson excuses himself and leaves. Y/N follows his disappearing figure with a hollow inside her filling up again. She wants to let him back in because no matter how angry his actions made her, she knows he meant no harm. She understands his motives and she'd probably do something similar for him if the roles were reversed. She wouldn't have manipulated him, but she'd surely work on convincing him to live together so he doesn't have those added costs of living. In some twisted way, what he did for her was genuine and his greatest proclamation of love. One she never wanted him to repeat, but was secretly grateful for.

As for trust, it's still there. Tensions were high and stressed out people often read too much into simple things and misunderstandings aren't uncommon. She would need time to get back to where they were, but she wanted to want to try. He was supportive and patient with her pain and mood swings, so she would be the same for him.

Grayson returned, a box with a bow in hands.

"I bought this for your birthday. At least open it." He's begging for her to do him this last kindness before ruining him for the rest of his life. He'll have to live with the knowledge he destroyed the best thing the universe ever sent his way; his soulmate.

Reluctant at best, Y/N opens the box. Her hand covers her mouth and quivering lips, her eyes looking over something she thought was gone forever.

"I tried to find the original company, but they stopped making them. So, I got a professional to fix it and customize some things." Grayson smiles weekly, satisfied she likes it.

Y/N takes her gift out of the box and gently runs her hand along the purple leather. The jacket Grayson ruined when she got hit by his Bronco; he fixed it and added something it didn't have.

"I thought it was gone. I didn't even ask about it so you wouldn't feel guilty. " She breaths out, finding her heart filling with love for this man who is so hauntingly human, mistakes and all.

"I hoped you wouldn't ask about it while I tried to mend it. Volim te, Y/N. Uvijek i zauvijek. (I love you, Y/N. Always and forever.)"

Y/N’s bottom lip quivers as she hears him speak of love in her native tongue. Though his accent is way off, the fact that he did this for her, that he tried enough to learn anything with his dyslexia meant the world to her.

Speechless, her mind struggling to even form coherent thoughts let alone words, Y/N moves her eyes to the writing on her jacket.

There's a whole message stitched into the inside of it, one proclaiming his love for her.

I keep falling in love with you and each time is harder than the last. Every time the feeling gets deeper, more complete, more bewitching. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do to keep you safe. Don't ever think you have to ask for my affection because you don't, and you never did. The more love I give you the more I have bursting inside of me. Were we ever strangers? I'm not sure we were. That day I first saw you there was something even then. I wonder if there's an element of time that allows us to feel a strong love through time and space, different realities. I remember the day our bond was forged. It was like being let into the warmth after a lifetime of winter. I could never wish to go back to even a day before that. You are the greatest treasure of my life, the one, the only one.

Love, G.B.D.

"I - I can't b-believe you did this for me." She feels her anger dissipate, opening the way to let the reasons why she fell for him back in. It's a long way from forgiveness, but it's a good start.

She wants to fight too. She does. She will.

She folds the jacket and presses it to her chest, holding back tears again.

"I want to fight too. We're real and I think we're worth saving. I promise to stop being so stubborn and let you help me out if you promise to be completely honest with me. No more lies, no more petty arguments and silent treatments. You answer when I call and I'll do the same." She clears her throat.

"You made a mistake, a couple of those. But you're not past saving Grayson. You're still that man I fell in love with. We just have to work out these issues before they pile on like they did now. We'll always have times in life where we're apart and communication is key. Don't freeze me out. Let me in your inner circle as I did with you. You've obviously been hurt like this before. But I won't do that to you. Not ever. No matter how bad things get, okay? Being this open, this emotionally vulnerable is hard enough with one person, so yeah...trust me...you're the only one in my heart and soul. I want to be so confident with you and yet these old insecurities come back for one last jibe...it'll be okay though, it's like winter. It passes eventually, allowing the warm days to return and my faith in you to grow all the more. " She finishes, watching as Grayson's lips part.

"Relationships are work and I'm willing to work on ours. I choose to love you every day and every night, even when I hate you I will love you. I'll choose you over and over again, until my last breath." He takes her hand in his, inwardly screaming when she doesn't move it away. He moves seats, settling by her side and cupping her cheek. He's testing her limits, watching her carefully for signs of distress.

"I want to marry you some day." He hears her sharp intake of breath and cracks a smile, knowing he's going too fast and coming on too strong.

"But only when you're ready. Until then, I will wait patiently and make sure you know I'm all in. Always."

Y/N traces his jawline with the tip of her finger, slowly leaning in until their lips touch and her entire being ignites. She could never give him up, not for anything in this world. Her heart is his as his is hers and there's no way of denying it. Not that she wants to. Ever.

They kiss, letting go of the pain and anger they held onto and forgive each other for their sins to allow healing in.

And in that moment a new understanding is born between these wounded souls. No matter how much you love someone, love is never enough. You have to work on your relationship, develop it in every way possible until it's so strong even death cannot cut the emotional tether the souls have created. Their differences make their road harder, but parting is no longer an option for them. He is her anchor in a storm and she's his guide when the night falls.

Perhaps they aren't so different after all? The very things that put a rift between them are those that keep them together. They fit, like long lost puzzle pieces.

You know, legend has it humans were two headed, four armed and four legged creatures with two sets of organs...two sets of everything but their soul. Zeus feared humans would become too powerful so he used thunder to break a soul in two and bodies part into the same form we know today. He cursed humans to walk the earth in search of their other half, of their soul and we all assume that other part is similar to the one we carry inside.

But what if it's a polar opposite? Pulling onto what soul you have left like a magnet, desperately pushing closer until it's whole again and the world finally makes sense. It can happen anywhere, anytime; whether it's in the middle of a busy street or in the silence of a library, maybe in a rainforest or a desert.

For Y/N and Grayson, it happened on a street, right after he ran her over with his car. And time stood still, allowing their souls to connect and become whole once more after centuries of searching.

All the ups and downs they endured led to that one moment where they, polar opposites, finally found the secret of life: opposites attract.

-----> When a realist dreams (part three)

Tags: @xalayx @heeydolan @accalialionheart @fallinginlove-16 @ourlittleshawnie @ashwarren32

[ryouverua]

Trial 6 -  ”hello, world!” (6)

Time to pick up the fallen torch.

Trial: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

K.... K1-b0? This - this must be you, right?

I’ve been waiting for this moment since the beginning of the chapter 3 trial! Finally, the explanation I’ve been craving! If - if the inner voice is coming into play now - it might actually be a benevolent force, right? Maybe? At this point we just need something to keep us moving forward...

Yes!!!

..... Oops.

“And please choose the right answer this time.”

Okay okay, jeez -

K1... K1-b0? W-Why not - ?

...... remedy the situation. Not save... but fix...???

Voices??? It’s plural now? Does that include me, the player?

K1-b0! Your moment has finally come, with no more lasers or explosions required! hopefully

WAIT

WE’RE OFFICIALLY IN HIS POV NOW???

This is incredibly late game for a protagonist switch b-but okay! also oh god what does that say about Sweetcheeks’s condition -

I’m glad we haven’t completely lost Shuichi. ): He really does look like he’s not with us, though. How can we help him? I joke about how much I love this sprite, but it’s awful seeing him like this.

But apparently Shuichi’s been relegated to the sidelines entirely now, because K1-b0 is entirely focused on Jun - Tsumugi. Oh boy, I almost started thinking of her as Junko. I will not let her hide behind her characters, damn it!

Yes! Yes, exactly! She can’t have it both ways!

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE ANNOYED YOU APPARENTLY WROTE HIM TO BE THIS WAY!!!

Ooh? Yeah, the text is changing at the bottom...

U U H   I’M SORRY YOU CAN’T JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT SO ABRUPTLY -

TSUMUGI LET HIM HAVE HIS COOL MOMENT

HE LITERALLY JUST GOT HIS MOMENT IN THE SUN DON’T JUST UNDERCUT HIM OUT OF NOWHERE 

no seriously she didn’t even give him a chance to build up momentum

The way she’s able to just dismiss him so casually like that, just completely trivializing him, is absolutely brutal. also what plotline lol -

I-I mean I’m joking, he has had a ‘coming to terms with his status as a robot amongst humans and accepting himself’ plotline! Sorta! It’s just been pretty.... well, behind the scenes. I just wished we got to see more of you and Miu together at the very least.

Wait -

He’s been the actual audience’s surrogate? That.... that means his ahoge....... really is the connection to the outside... but also, the only thing holding him back from going kamikaze??? It’s basically an outside force that’s been suppressing his free will?

Oh shit... is that why the game switched us to this POV, for that reveal? Well-damn-played, DRV3!

.....

wow this is getting worse and worse, huh

ALSO OH NO WAY TO SMASH HIS FRAGILE SELF-ESTEEM INTO PIECES

“You know all those hi~lar~ious asides everyone had at your expense about you being no more important than your average kitchen appliance? Guess what - ! They were r i g h t!”

Somehow I wonder if it would have been better if it was the mastermind’s will. At least it would assign him some sense of importance, even if that stinging feeling of betraying his friends would be there. At least he wouldn’t literally just be the subject of some nameless audiences’ whims - as it is, he’s basically been relegated to the status of ‘plaything’.

From Chapter 3 onward, when I was thinking about it, I wasn’t sure originally if I should consider it a force for good or evil - it seemed to be generally benevolent and since he didn’t take any actions against anyone, it was generally okay for me to discard it as an extension of ‘a mastermind whose goal was for everyone to be at odds with each other/kill each other’. He was always one of the most willing to cooperate with the others, too! I even considered if any of his actions had indirectly caused tension or murder, and I couldn’t find any instances where he did. But if he’s been at the beck and call of a third party, who’s been directing him for the sake of entertainment? Well, that’s a completely different story. In that context... everything makes... a lot more sense...

.... Except for his Chapter 5 actions??? He nearly got Shuichi to take him out twice??

Wait, actually - oh, this does change how I might look at him from this point on. How often would he consult the voice? Do the decisions override his own every time? Does that mean he can only make a move at the behest of the audience????

THE WAY HE PUT IT IS EVEN MORE DEMEANING

fhgh I guess that answers one of my questions

THE GIMMICK....

every production buzzword thrown in makes my stomach drop more

S-Shit the last time he had his ‘short-circuiting’ sprite was when Kokichi did his mastermind reveal in tandem with the ‘outside world’ reveal - D:

A.... Are you trying to make them feel bad for you, because I don’t think it’s working -

omg I just realized there would totally be twitter threads and reddit posts and stuff dedicated to this, and I’m trying to imagine the rage!posts that would swarm them as users ran to the internet to bitch about how ‘the robot totally isn’t responding to us anymore!’ and ‘I bet they’re rigging it so the ending goes the way they want! What a cop out ending!’ and hell, one of those more topical ‘let 👏 us 👏 control 👏 the 👏 robot 👏 you 👏 cowards 👏’

K1-B0 WAS THE CAMERA?!?!

..................................

glances at my computer monitor, then back here

ahahaha I am officially part of the outside world!mastermind tomfoolery oh god I’m so sorry everyone

Wait.... wait. Wait! So the Nanokumas’ footage is for the mastermind’s exclusive use? Really?

I... I was under the impression that if this audience was watching everyone, they’d have access to everything....

Then how different would this all look from only K1-b0′s eyes?! Did he know about Kaito’s training, for example? About Kaede and Shuichi’s practical inseparability in the first chapter? Wow, how different would this entire thing look from K1-b0′s exclusive POV?

I’m sorry what?

okay okay she’s going off on a despair rant which is - y’know, great, you do you and whatever - but I think it just turned my brain off a little bit. Like I just got catapulted back to DR1.

A-Are we really turning back to the whole ‘Junko persona’ idea? That she took on that role specifically, and by taking on the role as ‘Junko Enoshima’ she feels obligated to follow it through to the end? B-But...... but??? For a show??? That’s... no, that can’t be right, that’s weird, that’s stupid, that can’t be right....

You gotta admire her dedication to the craft I-I MEAN NO

WHAT THE HELL TSUMUGI

THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH MOTIVE

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT KIND OF REASON

SHUT THE FUCK UP KOMAEDA AND DON’T LOOK SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS oh that actually felt pretty good

i say this as someone whose previous favourite was komaeda it was very love/hate don’t @ me

Oh hey, the opening music is on! Is this the big turnabout we’ve been waiting for? It’s.... so.... weird that it’s coming from K1b0 now? Also wasn’t this sort of the plot of the DR3 anime via the Ultimate Animator or -

I??? I guess??? Weren’t they all just screaming DESPAIR at Shuichi a minute ago??? Isn’t it their comments on the screen???

Inspirational and all but -

I’m GoINg to cHOkE anD DiE

ULTIMATE HOPE ROBOT

FJKGHSDKLFJ

WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME

oh shit well there’s text saying Hope now so I guess something has changed out there

I believe it’s called déjà vu.

No seriously, am I hallucinating? Is this not what led to the whole final vote in DR1 or am I going crazy? Is this... what is.... happening........???? And Shuichi has just completely BSoDed in the corner??? Like, is he disassociating right now? Where is he?

It’s interesting that she looks happy here compared to angry Junko. She looked excited earlier when K1-b0 challenged her too (her new jazz-hands!sprite, lol) too, and her voice is on the brink of. Uh. I’m just going to say it’s getting very.... passionate. Is she just that confident or...?

Oh hey their sprites mirror each other. Parallels. :D

I like how Tsumugi is having Makoto say this part ~

But this brings up a good question... how exactly is this so-called final battle going to work? If they can’t fight for the right to leave, then what can they do?

alksdfj Himiko and Maki have also been so quiet this so time - I almost forgot they were there. K1-b0 and Tsumugi are basically the only ones doing the talking and between all the cosplays it feels like there are way more people here than there actually are - which is the point, I think? It really adds to that oppressive, ‘everyone is against you four’ atmosphere.

“- DETAILS DETAILS anyway it’s happening I don’t really care, now about that special vote ~”

This -

This is literally DR1?!?!

This.... this is strange. There has to be incentive to vote one way or the other. Is she going to tie ‘vote for K1-b0’ and ‘you’ll be forced into a world where you can’t/shouldn’t exist’ together vs ‘Vote for Tsumugi′ and ‘stay inside forever’? That’s.... what happened in the others, right?

Shuichi, mentally clocked out but occasionally checking back in so he doesn’t miss anything important: Wow this is absolute bullshit

Yeah... there’s no way they weren’t going to find a way to tempt you to vote for K1-b0. Okay, lay it on us.

YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE THEM KEEP GOING?!?!

“Ugh why did I let myself get lured back into the conversation by my bitchin’ ‘Lazy Parallel World’ theme song I’m going to mentally check out again because everything hurts and I want to die -”

There.... there aren’t....??

THAT’S NOT ENCOURAGING omg I missed that catchphrase it always made me laugh

I??? I don’t know if I can trust that??? If you can literally make flashback lights to override their old memories - if you can force it on them, whether they’re willing or not - if you can delete the last 24 hours, you could make them do something again??? T-Though if Tsumugi is gone... but then again, there’s a whole team of people behind this apparently! Her being gone means nothing!

“So you cannot leave this place.” Is it? Is it literally, physically impossible to leave this place? That’s the real question. the impossible is possible all you gotta do is make it so... s o b

HOW EVIL CAN YOU GET

HOW COULD YOU NOT EVEN GIVE THEM A POSSIBILITY OF RETURNING TO THEIR ORIGINAL SELVES

WHY WOULD ANYONE MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHY WOULD THAT BE OKAY FOR A PUBLICLY TELEVISED TV SHOW

For that matter this whole damn series sounds like a snuff film, if actually people are involved. Dear lord, even if they are actually adults - and I desperately hope that if this is true, that the outside world is actually like this, and watches this for fun, then they have a ‘18+’ rule for auditions (actually considering the love hotel exists they must be at least 18 ggh) - even the survivors.... have been killed, in a sense. Their previous selves have been killed. They were dead the moment they entered the world...

So either 16 people consented to ‘dying’ in an existential sense as well as possibly a physical sense, or 16 people were kidnapped and ‘killed’ for the entertainment of the world. I.... I actually... do at least believe, no matter what, that there is a depraved audience viewing this from somewhere. There’s no way there isn’t - this feedback via comments, the scene with that kid Makoto watching this at the beginning of this chapter - those are true. And they were more than okay with the idea of these people dying for their entertainment, even the so-called winners.

You can only create new identities, not recover them... I, I dunno. Somehow that’s so much more soul-crushing than a lot of the other things that have come up this trial.

t-the way his voice is breaking skdlfjgh -

W HA T!?

WHAT THE FU -

WHY?! WHY?! WHY MUST IT ONLY BE TWO, EVERY TIME?! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO DETERMINED TO ONLY HAVE TWO PEOPLE SURVIVE TO THE END?!

H.... How the hell.... are they supposed to do that?! Is that how you’re doing it?! Putting the burden of the decision on them, in order to break them?!

H-HE LITERALLY SOUNDS LIKE HE’S GOING TO BREAK DOWN SOBBING ANY SECOND I CAN’T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS

She is really trying to push that point, huh... but there it is. They can escape to the ‘outside world’. That is a cold comfort at this point, but...

They...... I don’t. I don’t know. I wouldn’t be able to do this - look my classmates in the eyes and condemn them. I guess this somehow managed to be worse than DR1.

K1-B0 NO

fml of course the only potential option would be students choosing self-sacrifice

I... I’m glad Shuichi is showing concern. I’ve noticed it a few times, how finally in the last chapter or so that he’s been observant of K1-b0′s well-being where the others haven’t been.

But I’m getting distracted - that’s not the point! FML I know he’s been shown those extremist tendencies towards the vague ideal of hope and destroying the despair, I - between this and the ‘destroying the school’ rampage he went on - what is he aiming for? You’re saying that you’re trying to defeat despair, but what is that? Is hope just the opposite of despair? Is despair just whatever Tsumugi says it is, so we’re immediately opposed to it, as the representatives of hope? Are you fighting for them to escape? Why is everyone surviving together ‘living despairful lives’ if Tsumugi is gone and they aren’t trying to kill each other anymore? What makes it that way? Why is this considered ‘defeating despair’? What does that even mean?

I... I guess K1-b0 would be punished anyway if they voted for him, but.... still....

Ugh, I get it. I get that kibou is hope, and that K1-b0 is therefore hope, and that we’re fighting for him to win or... something.... uhghghgh

DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE SHUICHI

This was such an uncomfortable parade of ~ideal waifus~ sdlkfjsdf especially when we were getting into the ‘super tiny/cute’ territory because I have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever also I accidentally deleted Mahiru’s cameo sorry -

.... I wonder if this would’ve been more effective if I was the target audience for this? Either way, ending on Junko was still an offsetting choice, right? Right??

..........

Wait for that matter, who was this aimed for? Who out of Maki, Himiko or Shuichi would have fallen for that? Even if you believe that Maki or Himiko have an interest in women, nothing about the types they showed or may have shown interest in the game (Maki @  Kaito, Himiko @ Angie, Tenko and hell, even Kokichi) would lend them to the girls Tsumugi just cosplayed as? And even Shuichi’s strongest interest were in Kaede and Kaito - so who is Tsumugi trying to appeal to here?!

Oh shit we’re going into a mass panic debate! Okay, okay okay - !

.... Oh. Oh boy, I have to shoot down every mention of despair. Uh, okay -

OMFG I missed the screenshot but Monokuma started shilling their merch and their website I cannot even deal with how they’ll occasionally devolve into corporate shilling it’s so good -

But!!! We’ve got better things to do than get caught up in Monokuma’s commercializing of the class trial!

MAKI

NO MAKI WHY

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR LAST CHAPTER IS THAT WHAT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

omg

are you telling me

you’re not even doing this out of guilt

it

it’s spite

you’re doing this out of spite

you’re sacrificing yourself purely ou t of spite

MAKI HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE MAKI, AGAIN??? AGAIN?!?!?!”

“LET ME KILL SOMEONE SAIHARA IT’S MY DAMN TALENT FFS -”

DOES THIS SCREENSHOT SAY ‘SHUICHI LOOKS YUMMY <3′ YOU’RE RUINING THE MOMENT

okay I’m not going to feel right until I write down the new set of comments

Makiiii

my darling assassin T_T

Hope lives on!

Shuichi looks yummy <3

Well said!

Another hope loop?

Hope is contagious!

Two steps forward...

Don’t lose to despair!

Don’t tempt Maki’s fate...

That’s my Maki.

Hope must go on!

Maki, darling...

;_; I’m gonna cry...

Hope vs despair!

one vote for Keebo!

tfw you’re in despair

ALL OF THESE TEARS

Assassiiiiiiiin

I am living for these comments and I would have killed to see the comments for the Chapter 5 trial - hell, the Chapter 4 trial. that’s what let’s plays and YT comments are for I suppose -

tbh I think if that one that keeps lusting after Shuichi comes to help we’re going to need a restraining order

o

o-oh?!

AAAAAAH

NO DON’T

MAKE ME FIGHT HIM

MY ACTUAL SOUL BRO

is............... Is that -

Clair de Lune playing......?!