#from an outsiders perspective. the last time i felt this way it looked the same as romance

[daisy-milk]

Non Dimenticar

three times in which you needed minho, though it wasn't in you to ask

➠ lee minho x reader

➠ wc: 1.7k

➠ summary: both you and minho are independent induviduals, and that aspect thrives in your relationship. though it makes it hard for you to reach out to him when you need it. you and him learn that sooner or later you both will have to learn how to ask for help.

➠ warnings: slight angst (maybe its normal level angst idk its pretty sad), mentions of passing out, mentions of injury, mentions of hosptial/emergency room, overworked reader

➠ masterlist

➠ a/n: i am currently a little tipsy and therefore this is not proofread

he gets it. he really does. he understands because he is the same way. all his life, he has had the same mentality, but now that he’s met you, he has learned; and perhaps it was because you were so similar in that sense that he learned what it looked like from an outside perspective. 

it was your inability to ask for help and openness to receiving it. 

minho, as well, struggled with this. throughout his life he had that mindset. one of, ‘whatever is happening will pass. you must power through. don’t drag others down with you,’ and he knew what it felt like from a personal level. pretty much, you both lived a very much ‘just thug it out’ lifestyle. minho never saw it as too much of a problem though. it didn’t seem to hurt others, in his eyes it kept them safe even, ignorance is bliss, no? but that was until he met you. 

minho saw in you, the struggle that was deep within him. the one many urged him to overcome, because he never would see any issue in it.

the first time he began to become aware was when the two of you were working out. you were both doing bicep curls, your attention on the mirror in front of you as you counted your sets. minho and you took turns and he was using a heavier weight than you, so naturally you dropped yours in favor of letting him switch the plates. you must have been distracted however, and in switching, you accidentally dropped the heavy plate onto your big toe. minho wouldn’t have even noticed if his eyes weren’t trained on you at all times. you didn’t even make a sound when it dropped on you, just an airy hiss, and through your reflection in the mirror you tried your best to play it off. the weight was heavy enough to raise concern, there was no way that didn’t affect you. therefore, minho spoke up,

“hey, you good? that looked painful” he grabbed your arm as you stepped away. 

you shook your head, “nah. i’m fine. i’ve had worse,” a chuckle leaves your lips in an attempt to put your boyfriend at ease.

minho gave you a look. one of uncertainty. though he didn’t want to pry. he knows that even if it was hurting there is a reason you aren’t asking him for help. 

perhaps he should have asked though. you didn’t say anything further but he couldn’t help but notice the quite obvious limp you wore as you walked out of the gym. he noticed, as he peeked at your uncovered foot when you got into bed with him that your toe began to swell and bruise a nasty shade of purple. he noticed the way, even after days, you struggle to put your full weight onto your foot. he urged you to see a doctor, but you brushed it off, saying that it’ll heal on its own, you’ve had worse. 

again, he didn’t pry and you never brought it up. though he knows now to keep a close eye on you at the gym. 

the second time was probably the most brutal. what started as a simple stomach ache soon became an even worse pain that had you doubling over in pain. be it cramps, your pesky lactose intolerance, or food poisoning, you always had an excuse for when minho began to worry. because naturally he would become worried at the sight of you rendering unmovable due to the pain. though no matter what, each time you would ease his mind with a new excuse and a wave of your hand. the excuses lasted a while. though it was only a matter of time until something worse happened. he had gotten a call from you late into the evening, “hey…” your voice was low, it sounded as if you were far from the mic, “can you… can you uh pick me up. i’m at that pho spot near your place. i’m- i… uh don’t think i can drive home.”

“did you drink?” he had asked. you had told him no, but offered no further explanation. he could tell there was something you didn’t want to tell him; he knew there was a reason you sounded hesitant to ask for his help. 

minho had been right because upon arrival he was met with your nearly passed out form, drooping from the driver’s seat of your car. he rushed to you, and you were conscious, luckily. though you did let out a loud groan in pain, your hand clutching your abdomen tightly. without another thought, he rushed you to the emergency room. 

fate was on your side that night. appendicitis. the doctors had told you that you were lucky that you hadn’t waited. if it were perhaps a day later, your appendix may have ruptured. the two of you shared a brief look as the doctor debriefed you. it was a knowing look. 

during your surgery minho thanked every star in the sky that night. he also made sure to schedule himself a check-up with his physician as well. he had to take care of himself to take care of you, is what he told himself.

the third time wasn’t a physical injury per say. minho caught you in your room. using the spare keys you gave him, he welcomed himself into your apartment as he normally did, though you weren’t expecting him this time. he wanted it to be a surprise. he knew you were studying hard and came in to surprise you with your usual coffee order and some homemade pastries felix made. 

instead he found you at your desk, uncomfortably splayed out before your computer. surrounding you were litters of paper and textbooks, most with notes and formulas, but as he looked closer there were papers completely scribbled out, torn, crumpled; it looked like a disaster. he couldn’t count the amount of tabs open of your computer, the chaos that reigned the screen made his head hurt just looking at it. there were at least 2 empty coffee cups on the floor and another on the table, the ice melting into the now lukewarm americano. his hand cropped the one he brought you a little tighter. 

“sweetheart?” he questioned carefully, kneeling down to reach face level with you. 

though you were curled up, he caught a clear glimpse of your face. you looked nearly lifeless and his heart shattered. minho knew it was just finals. he knew that you were probably fine, but what made him break was the fact you were going through it all alone. it had been days since you contacted him, and it wasn’t an issue for him, the two of you were good at maintaining your own personal time, and as per usual he never pried. but the thought of you, pulling through like this for days left his stomach falling into the deepest pits within himself. 

“my poor baby…” his finger traced your cheek, now squished against the table. your skin was dull, eye bags too present, day old makeup faded and smudged all over your eyes. minho kicked himself for not coming sooner. 

minho’s arms curl under you and he pulls your body into his arms. you’re so knocked out that you barely notice the movement. as if it were second nature, you curl into his hold as he hoists you up. his face softens a little as you do so, relieved that even in this state you know to trust him completely. his arms bring you to your bed where he carefully tucks you in, giving a gentle pat on your head as he moves to clean up your desk.

scattered papers and endless notes littered the surface of your desk. it wasn’t just your desk though. your room itself was left in a messy array, the days of stress piled up and you couldn’t bring yourself to clean, as litter and clothes became too much to handle. without a second thought, minho cleaned, folding clothes, tossing garbage until your room was spotless. he finished at your desk, beginning to pick up your papers as you woke.

silently, you approached him, your hand resting on his from behind as he gathered some sheets of paper, 

“minho…” you said groggily, “don’t worry about it… i-i’m not finished with those. gotta finish them then i’ll clean it up”

you attempted to grab the notes but he stopped you. his hand took the papers from your own. without a word he continued to gather the papers and pile them neatly to the side. you didn’t have any energy left to stop him, to argue. you just let him do this thing. after he powered off your computer, he finally turned to you. his hands now rested on your cheeks, gently brushing the soft skin on your face. his head tilted at you as if you were one of his cats, his thumbs brushing the crusty makeup around your eyes. 

“did you sleep well?” finally he spoke

”i have a lot to study…”

”did you eat today?” he continued 

“there’s only one more day before my project is due…” he remained quiet and continued to caress your face, “… i won’t have time to study after my classes and…” you began to lean into his touch, softening up from both your sleepiness and his affection, “…and…” you could melt into the way he looked at you right now, “…and i have to finish… i’ll rest when i…”

”you must be so tired, hm?” there was no other infliction in his voice aside from affection

“…yeah,” you admit, “…i’m really tired.” 

tears began to well in your eyes as you dipped your head down. he didn’t let you though, using a gentle finger to tilt your head back up. new tears traced down the same path as the ones that were now dried on your cheeks. 

“let’s go take a shower?” he asks and you nod. his hand leads you to your bathroom as he begins to use your makeup remover to gently wipe the makeup from your face. 

his hands are too gentle, you think, as he cleans your skin.

”after this, we can study in bed, yeah? together.” he gazes down at you as he tosses one wipe for another, “next time… please call me. i know you want to do this alone, i get it, i thought the same way too. but now that i have you, i could never want to be alone again. trust me when i say, i will never be tired of being with you, helping you, no matter what it is. just please, call me when you need me,” he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, “i promise i’ll call you when i need you too.”

please leave feedback please please please

[pendarling]

Winter Boots

Last year, when winter hit the city, Hero thought it was best to prepare for the weather with a quick adjustment to their attire. A little extra fur with a couple of layers did their suit justice. It maintained style while providing the warmth they needed when running outside.

This year, they planned on keeping the colour and style the same as they always did. Except, there would be a minor adjustment: their fine, long over the knee-length boots would be shortened to only their ankles. It wasn't as if the efficiency of the newer shoes was heightened, only that it was a style preference. They had debated it back and forth over a few weeks, and it wasn't like they would lose anything either.

So when Villain tilted their head and squinted their eyes during their routine battle, they felt nervous about their decision.

"It looks cute on you." They motioned with their hands at their suit.

Hero had to restrain a smile from escaping their lips. They wouldn't let Villain court them. However, the compliment made them feel much warmer, just enough to forget the snow surrounding them.

"You should focus on the fight, Villain." Their hands tightened into a fist, and their posture resumed its usual stance.

There were a few more seconds of an empty pause as the winds clashed against the frosted buildings around them. Villain looked to be in deep thought as they grappled in their mind on what to say next. "Although you make everything look good, I deeply miss the old boots. They had…" They looked to the sky for words, "an appeal to them."

Hero pulled their gaze away from Villain for a few seconds and fixated their focus back on their boots before staring at them again with a stern glare, "I don't need your opinion, Villain."

"I'm not saying you have to take it to heart." They shrugged.

Hero lunged at them again, their fists aiming to hurt Villain just enough to reassure them of their strength. Hero sent a kick to their left and another to the right, only for Villain to grab hold of their foot.

Hero gasped as they almost slipped on the pile of snow beneath them. "Ah!-- You better let go of me!" Their body was tiled, and Hero looked for something to hold as they tried to maneuver their way out.

"Hold still now, love, I want to show you something." They slightly pinched at their calf, "See this here," Hero stifled a laugh; now was not the time to feel ticklish. This new position was too embarrassing to be in.

They tried yanking their leg away again before feeling weakened against their grip. "I had always admired these nice legs of yours. Have I ever told you that?" They teasingly smiled and waited for a reaction.

Hero blushed and shook their head fiercely to shake away the feeling growing in them. "You're unbeliveable, Villain. Can't you just stay professional for once?"

Villain ignored their comment and pulled their leg closer with a firm grip until it rested on their shoulder. "Relax, I just wanted to help you see this from my perspective-"

"You pull me any closer to you and I'm going to pull a hamstring!"

"The boots, the ones that you used to wear, they just had a way of defining these legs better." They watched as Villain's fingers ran smoothly up and down their leg. "Do you see where I'm getting at?" they winked cooly.

Hero slipped their foot out of their grip and jumped a few meters back, slightly tumbling.

Did their nemesis seriously just ask them to wear the older boots for their pleasure? Had they been paying that much attention to their legs all this time?

Their eyes flickered back and forth with confusion and anxiousness. It shouldn't be this big deal, yet Hero knew they were over the moon with all of Villain's alert comments. It wasn't as if they had intentionally thought of what their rival would think, but hearing their admiration for it made their heart jump.

Hero pulled down the fur coat to cover whatever they could, "You're just saying that to distract me."

"Oh, I can assure you the only person here doing the distracting is you."

They bit their lip to counter the growing heat spreading across their cheeks, hoping that Villain had mistaken it for a reaction to the cold. They couldn't help themselves when they responded this way; it looked like for Villain, it would be their victory for now. Hero decided to leave the conversation hanging and sprint away instead, a relatively common behaviour they developed when Villain's advancements started getting to their head.

They shouldn't be feeling this way. It wasn't very honourable of them, especially since their sole job was to defeat Villain and protect whatever version of justice they saw as true. Yet, their heart still lingered in the air, searching for Villain's words even in the comfort of their own home.

Hero, now in their regular civilian clothes, retired to bed early. Only knowing whatever was ahead of them would only strengthen Villain's infatuation for them.

In the dark of the night, they lay in bed still contemplating Villain's words. Did their legs really look that presentable?

They lifted up their thigh and stretched out their sore muscles. It didn't look significant to them… Maybe it was all empty words, something to keep their mind at bay and to let Villain win.

Their heart paced rapidly as their eyes landed on the soft fabrics of their suit and the small boots sitting neatly inside their closet, hidden from any prying eyes.

Hero sat up and walked gently with soft feet; their cheeks still flushed from hours earlier. Behind the endless piles of clothes were their older boots. They never found them central to their uniform, but Villain did.

Carefully, they slipped them on and stood in front of a mirror. Their own eyes scan the change in their appearance. It was slightly attractive now that they thought about it for a bit.

Their heart nearly escaped their chest with the thought of returning to fight Villain and having them notice the obvious switch they've made.

In their head, Hero could already see it. The slight curvy smile and knowing eyes when they've only just arrived at the scene. They would rather die than imagine a scenario at all, even if their mind started to race with many other wonderfully intimate ideas that had them worked up.

"Deep breath." They sucked in some air and blew it back out to calm their nerves. Their hands were shaking. What was wrong with them? They didn't care about how their body appeared to anyone. Not even for Villain.

That's right.

They're only switching back because they always knew they wouldn't like their new boots anyway.

When it reached the time to make their first debut in their readjusted uniform, Hero had to run a series of conversations with themselves to push them into the spotlight. It wasn't a pleasant morning, but it wasn't a reason time to complain. The news did warn of heavy snow and sleet. It wouldn't get any better either as the season made its way deeper and deeper into winter.

Hero watched with eagerness as a familiar figure emerged from the heavy fog and walked effortlessly to their place.

The crunch of snow below their feet drew closer until they could hear their rival's voice between the whisps of the winds. "Lovely weather we're having, hm?" Their eyes pierced straight into their own and sent chills down their back. Hero was here for one thing: to stop Villain's advancement on the day's mission; they always caused chaos for whatever corruptable plan they'd conjured up for months before. There was also reason number two, but they weren't sure if they even wanted to admit to it yet.

Before they could get the chance to even mention or even hint at the change, Villain's gaze already coursed their way down their body and to their sleek boots.

They heard a short hum of approval, and as expected, a sly smirk worked its way up their face.

With their mind already set on formulating an excuse, Hero blurted out their thoughts, "I didn't do it for you, alright?"

"Okay…" Their irritating grin remained planted, unwilling to leave them alone. "Whatever you say, my love."

"I didn't!" They stomped their foot onto the ground as if mimicking a child. Their face felt like it was going to burst into flames.

"I believe you, Hero. There's no need to defend yourself." Even as they said that, they caught a small laugh at the end of their sentence, playing with them, "Just think it's a funny coincidence…" They pushed.

They pouted in response, their voice already too nervous to do all the talking, leaving it to their expressions.

"You look beautiful either way though, just so you know." They chuckled.

~~~ MASTERLIST

[kamianya-ttv]

You’re not lazy, you’re neurodivergent:

A post on executive dysfunction, ADHD inattentiveness and hyperfocus, and whatever else occurred to me as related as I originally wrote this for twitter.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been called lazy by people in your life. But the thing is, there’s almost no-one (if anyone) who’s actually lazy. And I promise you, if you’ve felt guilty because there are things you should be doing and can’t get them done? You are NOT lazy.

I'll get to executive dysfunction, the main focus of this thread in a moment. Because I want to start by talking about ADHD and hyperfocus.

Is it hard for you to pay attention to things you don't enjoy, but can focus for hours on things you do?

Does the world ever disappear to the point you forget to eat/drink while you're working? Can you suddenly get days worth of work done in a short amount of time, but only once it's the last minute, or when you get into the zone? But you don't necessarily have control over getting into that mode?

Hyperfocus

The reason this is related to this thread is that often this is the "proof" that you're lazy. Look, if you're interested you get things done! Look at how much you can do when you "just make yourself" or "just focus"! Clearly you just don't want to do the thing.

I can't tell you how many days I've sat there trying to get into a zone that's eluding me, losing sleep and feeling guilty, just to finally hyperfocus in the final day and pull out a miracle.

But I have ZERO ability to force it (I have tricks! but it's not the same).

Hyperfocus often gets brought up as a "you can't have ADHD, look how focus on the things you enjoy! Look what happens when you do focus!"

But actually, it's a major aspect of inattentive ADHD!

So, that's why hyperfocus matters in this convo.

Now onto Executive Dysfunction.

To start with, a quick note: Executive dysfucntion is not just an ADHD thing. It's an aspect of a lot of different neurodivergencies.

Also, this is primarily from my perspective as a person with ADHD, I'd love to hear your versions of these experiences!)

I like to describe executive dysfunction as "the start button isn't there."

Also, this isn't just for chores or boring things.

Have you ever sat there going "I want to game" but it just never happens?

I sure have!

When you have executive dysfunction, this means that starting tasks can be near impossible. You just can't get yourself to start it. Often, you may sit there staring at the document with the blinking cursor, or looking at the stove, or glancing at the full laundry basket, etc

But again, there's no start button. You just can't do the thing. Which makes it really hard when people tell you to just focus, or that you could do it if you just cared, or that you're just lazy.

Because we want to do the thing! We do!

(I mean, okay, want may be a strong word sometimes, I never WANT to do chores, but it's still not an intentional putting it off. It's more an "I need to do this thing, I know I need to, I want it to be done, but I can't get myself to do it")

Now for me, and many with ADHD, once someone points out you haven't done the thing, or when the deadline comes close, suddenly the start button appears

Which again, people use as proof you totally could have done the thing the whole time.

So clearly you were just lazy & are only doing it cause you got yelled at/prodded/nagged.

But this isn't true, there was no start button!

@adhd-alien has a PERFECT comic on this: https://twitter.com/ADHD_Alien/status/1138475368191598594

Now, we learn tricks to deal with this. Or meds may help.

For me, I find ways to enforce outside deadlines, or I'm more likely to have. a start button for something I'm doing with/for other people.

But ultimately, our brains just don't work the same.

So for someone where the start buttons are always there, who assumes everyone is the same as them, it looks like we're actively making the choice not to hit start.

So they call us lazy, unable to see us desperately trying to hit a button that's just. Not. There.

Now, add on to this all the other comorbidities that come with neurodivergency, we almost never have just one thing. Add on physical disabilities or chronic/invisible illnesses or chronic pain or fatigue.

All of these make it so much harder.

There are SO many things that affect our abilities to get things done.

For example, I had a doctor appointment four days in a row (OT, neurologist, OT, infusion). I also helped schedule an event, and did a stream.

Before MS and chronic pain that would be nothing.

I could have done SO much more, filled my days with getting things done.

Now? I'm spending today on the couch, recovering before my stream tonight.

And I have to fight so much guilt, because I feel like I should be doing more. But my body just CAN'T.

So.

Do you feel guilty, but you just can't start the thing?

Is there no start button?

Are you exhausted and your body is insisting you rest?

There are so many things that affect our ability to do things.

Brains, bodies, the world we live in.

But you're not lazy.

[delicatebarness]

i think he knows | chapter five - post-credit scene

Summary: A change of perspective?

Warnings: No Reader POV in this one.

Word Count: 757

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A/N: No one and I mean no one, asked for Bucky's pov. But, we're leaving our girlie alone in this one. She has some thinking to do. I also cried while writing this.

Tags: @bigtreefest | @caplanbuckybarnes | @angelbabyyy99 | @mega-kittyglitter-1 | @cjand10

The gentle touch against his shoulder brought Bucky back to reality as he watched her walk away, he never expected you to choose Steve over him. He understood the importance of family. He should have known this would have been the outcome. Blinking, he refocused on the present moment. Wanda’s eyes filled with concern as he faced her. Bucky gave her a small nod in an attempt to reassure her that he was fine. 

He watched as Wanda’s and Peter’s glances moved from him to the direction The Rogers family walked off to. Bucky knew there was a rocky history between himself and Steve. He never expected it to escalate like this, he knew he caused trouble. For the most part, it was intentional. But, he never wanted to cause trouble for her. 

He sighed, the images of her squeezing in between the pair, caught in the crossfire tore his heart. He cared for her, deeper than he could admit. 

As the crowd began to make their way through the hallways, following the same path as the family did moments before, a weight settled in his chest. What was he thinking? The Overlook? He should have known better than to take her up there, especially on a night like this.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself off the walls and made his way out to the parking lot. He ignored the lingering presence of her friends. He had to make things right with her, he didn’t know how or if it was possible but he had to try.

Outside, the cool air stung the slightly opened wound forming on his cheek. He ran a hand through his hair and he made his way back to his bike. Looking back for a moment, he noticed Wanda and Peter walking out only this time joined by Vision. A pang of guilt came over him as he realized he had brushed them off without a care. He should have thanked them for staying, he should have thanked them for the support he knew they’d be going to give her. But, he didn’t. 

Bucky rode through the streets of Brooklyn, the traffic from the game had calmed down and the only sound breaking the silence of the night was the engine of the bike. His thoughts swirled around his mind as he found himself instinctively headed toward the Rogers’ house. He needed to see her, he needed her. 

He turned the engine off a few houses down and stealthily made his way toward the side of the house with her bedroom window. He started to climb up, he just wanted her to know it was okay. He was okay, he wanted to see her that was all. But, as he reached the window ledge, he smiled noticing that she hadn’t kept the window shut even after he sneaked in last time. 

He hesitated for a moment, hearing muffled shouting coming through the gap. Steve. His heart sank to his stomach as he realized what was happening, he gave a moment while he debated his choices. Should he be eavesdropping? 

Despite the small voice in his head telling him this wasn’t right, he couldn’t tear himself away. His concern for the youngest Rogers outweighed right or wrong. He listened to every word.

“... They pick a victim, like you, and they place bets on how far they can push you, how long it takes, where it happens. They lure you in and make you feel safe and special. Then, they take advantage of you,” Steve’s voice echoed through the window, cutting through the darkness of the night, he could hear the anger and sorrow in the quarterback's voice. 

It felt like his heart was being stabbed with a knife, guilt. He never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to cause her any pain. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for the confusion and distress she must have been feeling after hearing Steve’s accusations. 

With a heavy sigh, Bucky retreated from the window. He knew she needed space, she needed time to process Steve’s words on own her terms. That being said, he didn’t find it easy to walk away. As he climbed down from the ledge, he heard her hiccups. The kind that is only caused by crying. 

A tear trailed down his cheek, the salt stinging the cut, adding to the ache within him. As he made his way back to his bike, he cast one last glance upwards her window. Their eyes met, locking in a silent exchange of emotions.

---

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[anon-amiss]

Okay hear me out on this, Wally with a romantic partner who is colour blind. Like they could see colour when they were younger so they know what colours are but once they grew older everything faded into greys, whites, and blacks. Bonus points if the only colours they see are on Wally and they (the reader) say something cheesy like 'you bring colour into my life'

Beginning Notes: Oooh!! This one is very interesting! As an artist who can see so many colours and shades, I could never imagine what would happen to me if all of it just suddenly dissipated! :°[ I think this will be particularly fun to try out though! It's a great scenario, and I'll do my best to deliver. Thank you for the great request, dear neighbour!

Warnings: Nothin' really! Just good vibes around :°]

Wally x Colourblind!Reader

(Romantic)

Your eyes focused on the bouquet in front of you, intensely glaring at each of the individual petals with the sharpest glare you've ever given anything in your life.

You were trying really hard, but your attempts all ending up fruitless. The dull boquet was suddenly pulled out of view by a familiarly bright and colourful hand. You turned to face the figure with a questioning gaze.

"If I had known you didn't like roses, I would have gotten you a different gift ha ha! " Wally bantered, patting the velvety petals with his felty hand.

"No, I love them! I was just doing the thing again," you replied, frantically trying to save his feelings. Though Wally wasn't hurt. He knew exactly what you were doing, even before you explained yourself, and it was somewhat amusing.

Anyone else entering Home for the first time would probably be shocked by the enormous array of colours everywhere. The vast amount of hues would certainly be blinding to anyone who just arrived, but when you first arrived, it looked like nothing special to you. Everything was just the same. Black and grey with hints of white.

You didn't even notice you were in a whole different universe until you felt the soft and cushiony terrain. You did initially think it was strange how some of the shapes seemed to be somewhat exaggerated, such as flowers looking rounder and hills looking cleaner than they were supposed to.

The first creature of sorts you met while wandering around was a dog named Barnaby, and you did freak out a bit at first, but you got over it relatively quickly when he offered to find you help. He took you around "Home" and introduced you to everyone, but when you got to the last resident, you couldn't stop yourself from jumping in surprise. You stared at him intently.

You were in such awe.

The resident in question being Wally, of course. He only stared back at you, not saying a word. You stood there for about a minute before he said his first words to you:

"You blinked! I win!"

You were confused at first but then realized he must have thought you were having a staring contest. That was honestly not a bad guess at what you'd really been doing.

Throughout the whole day, Wally couldn't help but notice the peeks and glances you stole his way. He knew he was handsome, but he didn't think it would be that distracting. Though, now that he thought about it, he did have a tendency to stare at himself in the mirror for hours at a time, so maybe it wasn't such a farfetched reaction.

Still, he felt the need to ask you about it just to be sure. You were embarrassed at first, but you felt like he deserved to know considering how rude it must have looked from an outsider's perspective.

You explained your whole colourblind situation, telling him that when you were a kid you could distinctly remember seeing every shade of the rainbow, but as the years passed, it all started fading away. At first, you'd been devastated to hear that you'd never be able to see colour again, but you learned to cope with this loss.

It still hurt you to think of it sometimes, sure, but you dealt with it by just imagining the missing colours in place of the dull, dark shades you saw.

"What do you imagine when you stare at me?" He asked you, curiously. Wally only knew one other person with colourblindness, which happened to be Barnaby, but even Barnaby could see some semblance of colours. He was intrigued by your situation and even felt bad for you. You seemed so sad when you were explaining your condition to him.

"That's the thing," you began, grabbing his hand, tracing your fingers over his palm carefully. You were simply baffled by this unique circumstance. "I can see your colours for some reason."

Wally was surprised, not sure what to say at that moment. He felt a bit special, thinking about your words over and over. While the both of you did not understand the reason you could see only his colours, neither of you wanted to question it. You cherished it dearly.

From thereon out, you two became very close. Wally didn't mind you staring at him every few minutes. He encouraged it, really. You would both often test out little experiments you had in mind such as putting red paint on him to see if it would show up, though, it did not... But even with this experiment dismissed, you still liked to put on some red lipstick and smooch Wally's cheek, usually saying how you wanted to just 'make sure' your results didn't change.

He knew you were lying, you were terrible at it, but he didn't mind.

He would frequently catch you staring intensely at certain things such as flowers or crayons. Wally learned that this was like a little guessing game to you. After you guessed the colour, you would usually ask Wally if you were correct, to which he would either confirm or deny your guess. Though, he did lie sometimes and say you were right. He just couldn't stand to see your disappointed face when you found out you were wrong.

Plus, everytime you did a good job, he was allowed to place gold stars on your forehead! Win-win!

Wally was sure you were guessing what colours the roses were this time and handed them out to you. "So what colour do you think they are?" He asked, sitting himself down next to you.

You let out a laugh and rested your head on his shoulder, setting the bouquet aside. "I don't need to know."

Wally looked over to you, tilting his head quizically. He's never had this response before, so naturally he was just a little confused with you. You loved this game! Maybe you were bored of it now??

You turned to face him and stared into his eyes. "You're the only set of colours I love to see." You gave him a peck on the mouth. Wally's expression was now that of surprise. "Hey, you're red now!"

He laughed at your comment and cupped your face. "I just can't get enough of you, dear." You leaned into his touch and smiled joyfully. Wally reciprocated your kiss and gave you a warm embrace. He leaned back to look at you and couldn't help but giggle at your reaction.

"Hey, you're red now, too!"

End.

End notes: Oh dear, I feel like this is way too short! :°[ I'm going to probably expand on this idea more later on! I really love your scenario and feel like I've misplaced some really great potential! Now... I usually follow intuition and reread my stories to see if there's anything else I can expand on, but I just can't quite put my fluffy finger on it! I promise I will find out what the problem is and get back to you again! With a longer story this time!

Apologies, dear neighbour!

I hope this shorter-than-usual story will suffice for the moment!

[teejaystumbles]

Against all odds (Part 5)

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

(this continues directly after Part 4, Hob reads the rest of Dream's entry)

Negligence and luck were my saviours in the end. I managed to escape and take my revenge. I have recovered my tools of office and my power. I am free. And yet I feel like part of me is still trapped inside that basement, as unconnected to the world around me as I was before, but in a different way. Before I was captured I felt, if not above then distinctly separate from humanity; I resented that my existence depends on them, on you. I felt detached, outside of what should be intimately familiar to me. Now I am able to recognise that, but to overcome my reluctance to embrace humanity more is still a struggle. I know that not all of you are like Roderick Burgess but the fear lingers, despite logic telling me there is nothing to fear. I know my function is to serve them and my imprisonment caused great harm to many. I see now why I cannot go on like I used to. I hope that you might help me with getting to know humanity again, as you have so many times before. I confess that in my mind you had stopped being simply a human and therefore outside of how I judged humanity. You might have worried I might look down on you, but in fact I have long since seen you as someone apart from the humans I tend to. For that I am sorry, because you are just as deserving and in need of my attention as everyone else. Your perspective was supposed to help me understand humanity better, to grow closer to humans and I failed to learn my lesson. I only grew closer to you, while completely ignoring that you are human and failing to extend my feelings for you onto the rest of humanity. I was supposed to listen to you and learn what it is like to live a human life, but I did not internalise the lesson. I hope that with time I will become able to value human lives in their entirety and show others more respect and compassion. This will not come easy to me after nearly a century spent in a cage at the hand of a human, but I will try.

I apologise, Hob. All this will not make much sense to you because I have still not told you who I am, and I still wish to do so in person. Suffice it to say that you have already glimpsed the truth and noticed changes that are related to my person and what happened to me. Feel free to guess, my friend, but be assured that I will give you my name soon. Maybe then you will understand the scope of all I’ve relayed to you.

I have laid myself bare for you, my friend. I do not think I could have articulated half of this had we talked face to face. Admitting to my faults and insecurities does not come easy to me. My ordeal has left me with some conditions that I did not know I was capable of suffering. As you already know I am struggling with being in enclosed spaces, and I feel especially reluctant if there is a lot of glass. I also do not enjoy being close to humans I do not know, although, as you well know, I know everyone. This is limited to certain aspects of their person, though, and does not include mind reading. Therefore I find myself apprehensive of their goals and possible actions, which is why I prefer to keep my distance. I know that these fears are not logical and that I should be able to “shake them off” - yet I cannot, and I do not know for how long they will impede me. My greatest fear I have so far not articulated, though. If I tell you my name, will you still look at me the same way?

The words stop without a farewell and Hob drops the journal with a choked sob, his eyes wide and watering. He wants to howl. He refrains for the sake of his neighbours and simply slumps to the floor beside the fallen book. It’s still open and Hob rereads the last line through more and more tears welling up. He makes a sound like a wounded animal and gets back up on his knees, searches for a pen on top of the desk and then immediately launches into writing a reply right there on the floor.

My friend, my dearest friend!

Why would you think that I would ever look at you differently? You are more dear to me than anyone else and knowing your name and who or what you truly are will not change that! I believe I have been privileged to get to know you over the few times we met, and even more through these letters we have been writing. Even if your name was Oberon, or Hades, or hell, even Lucifer! I would not look at you differently, except to ask you why you lied when I first guessed that you might be a demon. I don’t think you would ever lie to me, though. Whatever you are, I have thought about it and puzzled over it since I first met you, so you know that the only way I would look at you if I finally got to know your name would be with awe and curiosity - the same way I have always looked at you. You are endlessly fascinating to me and I cannot believe you would think that I might change my opinion on you because of something as unimportant as a name. I already know you, dear stranger, with or without it. So I say, don’t tell me unless you truly want to. Don’t think you owe me a name or explanation. I do not need it. All I need is you, and our conversations. 

Hob pauses his writing and lets the pen drop from his fingers, drawing a shaky breath and rubbing his eyes. He wishes he had planned this better, thought about what he would write before starting, but in the end it’s maybe best to give his stranger this excessive honesty. Hob has a bad feeling about his friend’s entry simply stopping and what he probably needs is immediate assurance. So this is what Hob will lead with, and address the other issues afterwards. He means it, too. He doesn’t care who or what his friend truly is. He’s Hob’s friend, the oldest and best he’s got, and he’s determined to keep him, no matter what kind of being he turns out to be. “My sister, Death.” That's what his stranger wrote, Hob remembers and flips the pages of the journal back, rereading the first part of his friend’s entry. Roderick Burgess tried to summon Death, and got her brother instead. Death’s brother. His friend is Death's brother. What could that possibly make him? One of the four horsemen? Pestilence, or Famine? War seems unlikely, somehow. Actually none of these fit his stranger, Hob thinks and shakes his head slightly. He gets up and sits at the desk, the journal open in front of him. He doesn’t quite know what to write next and so he drops the pen and goes to wash his face and make himself tea, trying to collect his thoughts in the meantime.

When he returns to the bedroom he finds he cannot write more without mulling it all over first. He feels empty, the horror of his friend’s ordeal growing more and more clearer in his mind. He doesn’t know what to write besides “Please let me hold you. Please let me make you smile. Please let me love you.” None of that seems even nearly appropriate to tell to a traumatised person that is probably not even remotely attracted to him. What his stranger needs now is a friend (well, actually a therapist, but Hob will do his best), not a clingy lover like Hob.

He goes to bed and leaves the journal open on the desk. Maybe when he wakes up he’ll be able to find the right words. He falls asleep to thoughts of prisons made of glass, his friend stuck inside, looking mournfully at him.

Hob dreams of the White Horse. He wears his modern clothes but the Inn looks like it did in 1589 and with a smile he sits down at the lavishly decorated table, ready to host his friend. When Hob looks up his stranger is standing a few feet away on the other side of the table. He looks like Hob saw him in his bedroom, although his hair is a bit wilder and his black coat looks longer and is speckled with stars. Hob smiles at him and gestures at the spread.

“My friend! Sit, eat! You must be awfully hungry!”

His stranger frowns and takes a cautious step closer, looking at the table laden with food, then back at Hob.

“You offer me sustenance, my friend?”

I offer you everything.

“Of course,” Hob exclaims, “this, and more! If there is anything I can give you, I will! Please, only ask and I will try and find a way to get it for you.”

Hob wants to stop talking but he can’t seem to stop the words. “Be it food or drink, or hugs, or kisses - everything I have, my heart, if you but ask, is yours.” He blushes, knows that his eyes have grown wide in shock and still he cannot stop looking at his friend, staring at him in open adoration. Brother of Death, brother of Death, his mind keeps shrieking at him and Hob feels his smile crumble in dread as his stranger does not visibly react to Hob’s words at all. Too forward, too honest! Fool, you dare, he chides himself and bites his tongue when he feels more words on the cusp of breaking free.

His stranger does not acknowledge Hob’s words, he slowly picks up a strawberry and takes a delicate bite. His dark eyes do not leave Hob’s for even a second, though. Hob feels heat pool in his belly and bites his tongue harder until he feels blood well up inside his mouth. He opens it and a drop spills out, staining his lips as red as the strawberry is staining his friend’s. His stranger’s eyes are black from side to side now, gleaming in the low light like pearls. Hob blinks and suddenly the man is right in front of him, reaching out until his fingertip gently brushes the drop of blood from Hob’s lips, the next moment he is standing at the other end of the table again, a half-eaten strawberry staining his fingers. Hob feels lightheaded and grips the table to remain upright. What is going on? This is the strangest dream he’s ever had. The voice of his friend is suddenly coming from everywhere, reverberating inside Hob’s head.

“I accept your offering, dear Hob. I promise to cherish it…and treat it with utmost care.”

Hob wants to ask what his friend means but he feels very tired all of a sudden, despite knowing that he’s already asleep. He feels himself sink back into what feels like soft cushions and the room darkens around them until all he can see are two twin stars twinkling in his friend’s eyes. Then there is nothing but darkness, and sleep.

Part 6

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

I wore the new coat you gave me every day, until it wasnt new any more. When the collar wore out, i had it replaced. When the elbows tore, i had them patched. by the end of it, the bottom of the coat had been re-hemmed so many times, rolled up upon itself again and again, that it became as short as an undershirt. My Third Brother saw it once, and teased me mercilessly for being such an unfashionable miser. I just laughed along. I couldn't explain. I didn't want to. You were always better at words than I was.

Here at our barracks, we have a custom of passing on our old clothes to the junior officers. Over the course of several years, favorite coats would slowly make its way down the ranks, and if it was fortunate enough to avoid getting lost or destroyed at the end of its distinguished service, the men would split it among themselves to make scarves, turbans, and kerchiefs. (once those small pieces were too far gone, they would be turned into cleaning rags). The old, green battle-coat that my Elder Brother gave me now decorates the brows of my fellow men. It gives me the same warm feeling of contentment to see it on them, as i had once felt wearing it.

I never parted with the new coat you gave me. I wore it until it was no longer new, and kept wearing it long after. If the men noticed, they made no comment. I kept it on under the clothes my Liege Lord and Elder Brother gave me. It started out as the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned, but strangely enough, I only grew fond of it after it became an unsightly mess of patchwork. More darn than silk. If you saw it now, you would have laughed, like you did last time. You might have tried to give me a replacement, and gone away looking so hurt and confused when i refused. You should know by now that i do not take gifts lightly.

One morning, several years after the day we last parted, the coat tore in my hands as i was putting it on. The fabric had become so thin. I folded it up, and kept it safe in my chest until evening. When the stars came out, I brought it out and laid it over the campfire, where the flames ate it up and the winds scattered the ashes far and wide.

————-

Oh boy, it is officially 1 AM and I am having many, many thoughts and feelings tonight about cao cao and guan yu. Notes under the cut.

So the story is inspired by something my mom told me once about clothes recycling in 70s China. She would get hand-me-down clothes from her big sister, once those were worn out, they would go to her little brother, after that, it would be used to patch other clothes, and once those wore out they would be used for rags. Quite a lifecycle. For much of human history, producing textiles was a expensive and time-consuming process, and it made me think about what people do with their old clothes doing the Han Dynasty. In the novel it’s mentioned several times that people would get rewarded old clothes from their superiors, so there is some precedence to this.

————

Cao cao: oh, woe is me, the most miserable man in existence! My love is totally unrequited. Yunchang cares naught for me!

Guan yu: ^

——

I use the translation “coat“ for 袍， there isn’t really a one to one English word, (although it’s often called a “heavy robe”). I’ve decided to go with “coat” to keep it more localized, and because I think “heavy robe” is clunky. Idk how to really explain it, the word robe denotes this very specific style of dress from outsiders perspective, in a way that doesn’t come naturally if you are a native speaker talking about your normal clothes. Vibes vs accuracy, FIGHT!

[taeloke]

Overanalyzing 4KOTA Chapter 142 instead of just waiting for more info (2/2)

Part 1

This is the part where I talk about King and no one else. Also, this is more ramble than analysis by the end, and I'm making myself not worry about length this time, so...you have been warned :) As for Mertyl, I'll definitely talk about him again over the next chapter, though I might not say as much as I did the first time.

Firstly, look at this face. Remember all those seasons ago, when everything was peaceful for like a single week? How sweet and thoughtful this little guy was, especially against his own personal wishes?

This is King--regardless of how he's like on the outside.

Elaine herself described him as someone who tries to act tough but is really a crybaby. He's someone who can't seem to stop wearing his heart on his sleeve. He always tries to hide his feelings to keep everyone else from worrying, but try as he might, anyone will see through his "tough act" if they're around him for long enough. Awakened or not, he's not King if he's not a highly emotional character like that. He's just a lot better at putting a cover over those feelings now. He's grown up for real.

If you read these last few 4KOTA chapters without remembering the original Seven Deadly Sins story, it only makes sense to look at him more like an ass of a father right now. There's a lot to his perspective that we just haven't gotten to witness yet, and one of the easiest conclusions to make from all of that unknown space is "King loves Nasiens more than the adopted son he raised." For crying out loud, he's giving an immensely scarce cure-all to a young man who introduced himself as a human without an explanation for why Myrtel hasn't received it yet. We don't even know for sure if he's tried using the Drug of Yore to treat Myrtel's condition in the past right now.

There's just one problem about that conclusion: King isn't like that at all. It only looks like he is because this family drama is fatally poisoned with tension and misunderstandings at this point. It's starting to explode.

Remember how way back in the series, King first thought Diane without her memories of him would be better off without him at all?

I think that's a lot similar to what he's thinking with Nasiens right now. If King didn't play a part in their present happiness, then what right does he have to want their love? He'd label that as too greedy or selfish in a way that he can't allow himself to be. He thinks he knows his place, and that place is somewhere forever distanced from his first-born kid.

But he can't just do nothing for Nasiens. Maybe just one totally subtle yet significant expression of love can slide, right? What could he, seemingly as nothing more than a ruler, possibly give to Nasiens to make him happy? Maybe if he gives Nasiens just one perfect gift, Harlequin will feel like he was good for his son at least once. He'll feel like he's finally atoned for losing Nasiens for too long and failing him as a father, and then he can let that "sin" go. Surely, Nasiens wouldn't be happy knowing the truth anyway. He'll be better off never learning about his true relations, since he's built his life without it already. Assuming that "logic" is what King's going through, a lot of his actions make sense to me.

And yet he still almost slipped up and spilled the beans.

Nice save, King, but if you gave Nasiens more time to think he would have realized what you really meant. Tioreh gave him time to realize she believed he's a fairy and his initial freeze then was the exact same.

None of this is easy for King. It isn't easy for any of them. In some ways, those past 2 years must have felt like forever to him. Precious time to have his first-born kid around that he'll never get back. And after 2 years of keeping distance...

"Sorry, I couldn't help but follow you."

"I just wanted to help you out, in any way I could."

King can't keep his distance anymore. His true feelings are starting to break free.

"Hee hee... Don't be shy, now. I just want to be of assistance."

Sure, King. Saying it like that totally doesn't make it sound like there's more to this, even with your confident/amused chuckle.

Of all the gifts he could give Nasiens, I'm sure King believed this was the one thing Nasiens couldn't refuse to accept from him. A powerful healing drug that he advertised as one-of-a-kind and a once-in-a-millennium opportunity. With it presented not only as that, but also as something that might bring Percival back, how could Nasiens reject such a gift? Right?

...And then Nasiens rejects the gift. Immediately, King gets so nervous that he breaks character.

He immediately started sweating too. King prepared everything up to this moment, and he has no excuse as Nasiens questions him and calls him out.

And Nasiens is right to call him out because of how this looks.

Nasiens, just like us, doesn't yet know what the truth here is. He's right to be suspicious and King needs to realize that plans in how the changeling duo is handled need to change right now. Ready or not--telling the truth is the only way to save what's actively starting to cave in.

But the sad thing is...I have a feeling that it's too late already.

Things are only going to get worse from here... I don't know how, and in a way that makes this feel more awful.

Sixtus should tell King that Mertyl saw him offer the Drug of Yore to Nasiens. There's no doubt in my mind that King will realize the problem once he has that information and try to do whatever he can to make things right. PLEASE don't make him too late again. At least give him a chance to talk to Mertyl before things fall apart if that's where all of this is headed.

[2miniverses]

new years kiss ; han jisung

warnings: mentions of alcohol....that's it!

a/n: i actually don't care for strangers to lovers but i actually love this *sobs* i definitely wrote this last minute but this came out way better than i thought! can you tell i have no one to kiss this new year? lol. I'm crying. i want a jisung. anyway happy new year!!

wc: 610 (i think..)

you walk into the party already wanting to leave. you can’t believe you let your friends drag you here knowing that you absolutely hate parties.

“oh, come on! it’ll be fun! you just need some drinks,” your friend lightly punched your shoulder. “it’s new years! loosen up a bit, would you?”

so you loosened up. you drank a bit, conversed (somebody asked where the bathroom was, you said you didn’t know where it was), and even danced. suddenly, amid the fun, you realized it was almost midnight— new years. and you had no one to kiss. not that it’s a big deal but you’ve never had a new years kiss and it kind of bummed you out, no matter how silly it seemed. you sighed, walked outside to escape the noise, and sat on the curb.

“you hate parties, too?” a voice in front of you interrupted your thoughts. you looked up at the source and were met with the cutest guy you’ve seen at this whole stupid party. he had kind eyes, puffy cheeks, and fluffy hair. 

“uh, yeah. hate them,” you replied shortly and took another swig of some random beer you got earlier. 

“my friends dragged me here in hopes i would stop whining about how bored i am but this is not what i wanted,” the cute guy chuckled. “i’m jisung, by the way.”

you smiled at jisung and told him your name. he sat down next to you on the curb and the two of you shared complaints about parties, the noise, and the pressure to have a memorable, special new year's moment. it felt comforting to have someone who understood your perspective.

as the minutes counted down, you both continued talking, not realizing how time flew by. with each passing second, the excitement of the approaching new year started to fade, and you both found solace in each other's company.

suddenly, the crowd inside erupted with cheers, signaling the extremely close arrival of the new year. although neither of you was partaking in the celebration, the sound echoed in your ears. jisung turned to you, a playful smile forming on his lips. "hey, i have an idea," he said, leaning one of his puffy cheeks on his hand. "since we're both in the same boat when it comes to not having someone to kiss, why don't we share a new year's kiss?"

you raised an eyebrow, surprised by his proposal but intrigued nonetheless. a mix of curiosity and excitement bubbled within you. you hesitated for a moment, weighing your options before making a decision. after all, it couldn't hurt to have a little spontaneous kiss. 

“i-i was kidding!” jisung jumped away. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable i was just…i’m sorry,” he apologized. you smiled at him and shook your head.

“it’s okay you didn’t make me uncomfortable. i was hoping something this cliche would happen,” you moved closer to him and tilted your head. from a distance, you could hear the five-second countdown.

(5!)

“so you gonna kiss me or what?”

(4!)

(3!)

jisung blushed and leaned in, (2) there was a fleeting moment of doubt, but it quickly vanished as his lips met yours.

(1!)

ironically, time seemed to stand still as you felt a gentle and warm connection. it wasn't a passionate kiss, but rather a sweet and tender moment, shared between two strangers on a night that had initially seemed mundane.

when you pulled apart, fireworks went off as you both exchanged shy smiles, feeling a newfound connection that had blossomed within such a short period. jisung took your hand and smiled, “happy new year.”

“happy new year, jisung.”

[thebabblingbrookenook]

Wide Open Spaces

Pairings -  Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary - Modern AU - Benedict and Reader explore new facets of their longtime childhood friendship. 

Warnings - 18+ Please,  Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content

Word Count - 6.2K

Author’s Note - Huge thank you to @colettebronte for giving this a once over for me before posting. And a major shoutout to @eleanor-bradstreet for writing inspiring fics for me to reference! Soundtrack inspos for this one include: Cinnamon Summer by Jome, and Honeybee by The Head and the Heart

______________________________________________

Disappointment. That was the overwhelming sensation coloring your mood as you looked down at the message on your phone. Your sister had canceled on you again. It had been six months since you last saw her and you were starting to miss her.

This always happened when she got into a new relationship. The constant companion you had known your whole life suddenly transformed into the biggest flake on the planet. You were happy she was happy, but she never saw outside of her little love bubble when there was a new guy.

At times, you could smile and write it off as an endearing quirk, but this time your irritation was a bit harder to quell. The trip you were supposed to be taking together this weekend had been planned for weeks. The excitement of seeing your baby sister and enjoying uninterrupted relaxation was the only thing getting you through the tedious tasks weighing you down at work. You knew this cloud of disappointment was going to linger for a few days.

You thought about telling her how rude she was behaving. You even thought about telling her that you didn’t care if her boyfriend had asked her to meet his parents on the same weekend as your trip. But in the end, what was the point? If she bailed on her boyfriend and came along, her legendary pout would have made the trip unbearable. If she decided to go with him despite your disgruntled plea, you both would have ended up deploying the silent treatment for months and you wouldn’t get to see her until Christmas. 

You were in the middle of texting your sad, but supportive reply when you felt a warm hand rub a reassuring circle on your back.

“Let me guess, Caroline canceled at the last minute again?” Benedict’s voice held a defensive tone. 

You sighed in resignation, “Yeah, how’d you know?”

“The look on your face. It’s the one you put on when you’re trying to be angry so you don’t have to admit how much something hurt you. And it’s usually only reserved for Caroline.” He said her name like it left a bitter taste in his mouth. 

“Benedict…” you scolded.

He shrugged innocently with a hint of defiance. “What? I resent her for stealing my sunshine. I was getting used to seeing you so happy. It was nice.”

“Hey,” you complained, “I’m a happy person. Most of the time…”

“I love you, darling, but no,” he laughed. “You’re delightfully grumpy and I adore you for it. You do things with depth. Depth makes it hard to be blindly happy. I wouldn’t have you any other way. It was just nice seeing you smile freely.”

It took a moment for his words to sink in. He had been your best friend for your entire life. If anyone really knew you, it was Benedict. Why were you just now realizing that he viewed you this way? From your perspective, he was the only person that set you at ease. Laughter came easy when he was around. Parts of your personality came alive with Benedict because he was the only one who had earned those parts of you. Having him associate you with such a sense of bleakness didn’t sit right with you. Had he not noticed you allowing him in past your walls, or did your underlying melancholy overshadow the peace he brought into your life? You didn’t know whether to feel betrayal or guilt. Guilt if you hadn’t made it clear how much joy he brought, or betrayal for not being seen by the only person you thought capable.

You stared at the rapidly cooling cup of tea that you clutched in your hand. Anything to keep you from meeting his gaze. You didn’t know if you were ready to face what you might find reflected back in his stormy eyes. It might unravel you, and the courtyard of the college campus where you worked was not a place you were comfortable with that transpiring. You needed to go home. 

 Standing abruptly, you started to gather your things. If it weren’t for the almost comical look of panic transforming his face, you would have made a quick but silent exit. You were never able to stomach the way negative emotions haunted his features. They didn’t belong there, not coinciding with his light. 

“I’ll see you later, Ben. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. It’s happened before and it will happen again. That’s Caroline. I’m just going to go home and have a quiet weekend alone. I have a lot of manuscripts I need to catch up on for Professor Maxwell anyway. He said he would consider one of my choices to present to the publishers as the featured up-and-coming author this month. I want to make sure I’m ready.”

He didn’t seem entirely convinced by your casual tone, but he didn’t push the issue. “Alright then… but call me if you get lonely. I don’t want you cooped up all weekend having fake arguments with Caroline in your head. You get scary when you sit with your anger too long.”

“See you later, Bridgerton,” you replied with an amused grin.

Sometimes it was annoying how well he knew you, but somehow his teasing prediction already made you feel less alone. 

~~~~~~~~~~

You woke the next morning to the sound of your doorbell repeatedly beckoning you from sleep. Immediately regretting last night’s over indulgence of red wine, you rolled over to check the ring camera on your phone. It didn’t surprise you in the slightest to find Benedict standing on your porch looking far too chipper at this ungodly hour.

Clicking the microphone, you spoke through the camera so he could hear you. “Go away. Trespassers will be prosecuted.”

His grin was blinding. “Oh come on, you lazy git. Get your bum out of bed and let me in.”

“Ugghhh,” you groaned. He was impossible.

Reluctantly, you dragged yourself from the warmth of your bed and shuffled to the front door. You hadn’t given a second thought to your appearance until Benedict’s eyes took in your state.

“Ooof,” he mocked. “Good morning, Sunshine.”

You must have looked a picture as you stood there scowling at him in your pjs. “Pardon me, I wasn’t expecting uninvited company. You really are a nuisance, Ben.”

“Yeah, but I’m a lovable nuisance. You wouldn’t have let me in if I wasn’t.”

Rolling your eyes, you turned around walking back into the house, leaving him to follow you. You were going to need coffee if you wanted to get on his level anytime soon. You heard the door latch behind him as he trailed you to the kitchen. 

“So…” he asked hesitantly. “What are your plans for the day?”

You looked up at him skeptically from below the ring of your coffee mug. “I already told you my plans. There are words to be read and wine to be drunk.”

“Can you read your words and drink your wine someplace else?” He could feel you retreating into your silence so he pushed on. “Listen, I know I’m not Caroline. I don’t have anything particularly exciting to offer in comparison to a sisters’ weekend, but I would very much like to spend the day with you. I need to practice a new brush technique for a class I’m teaching. You can read, I can paint… We’ll be alone, but together. Who was it that said it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone?”

You knew he was baiting you with your love of words, but damn him if it wasn’t working. “Tennessee Williams. But if you recall, the first half of that quote depicts lonely people joining forces. I don’t think he was speaking of a pity invitation from a Casanova to his pathetic, sad friend.”

“That’s not what this is,” he chastised. “I’m allowed to be lonely too.”

“Oh, please, Ben.” You dismissed him prematurely. “You’re never alone. There is always someone throwing themselves at your feet.”

“I didn’t say I was alone. I said I was lonely…” The haunted look had returned to contort his beautiful face.

The undeniable need to vanquish anything that creased his brow pulled you toward him. Reaching out for him, you stopped yourself from wrapping your arms around his torso, instead choosing something safer. You squeezed reassuringly around his forearm that rested on the counter. 

“I’ll go get dressed,” you said softly. “Wait for me?”

His eyes left your fingers splayed across his arm and searched your face. The amount of relief flooding the rings of blue made your stomach ache.

“I’ll wait as long as you need…” he promised.

~~~~~~~~~~

Like with most things, he was right about his company bringing you back into balance. It was easy to be around him. He was comfortable in your silence, and you in his. There was no need for incessant chit chat. It was enough to simply just be. No pressure. No performance. No need to be guarded. The sounds of his brush strokes against the canvas soothed you as you flipped from page to page in your book.

It had turned out to be the perfect day for outdoor endeavors. There wasn’t a rain cloud in sight, and the sun was almost as warm as Benedict’s presence. He had taken you to a remote clearing he stumbled across during one of his many reflective walks. The open field was surrounded by dense woods, sequestering you in your own private world. The nearby stream provided the perfect soundtrack to drown out all the unwanted noise of life. 

He had packed a blanket for you to sprawl out on while he labored over his easel. Per usual, he had thought of everything. There was even a basket filled with your favorite snacks. You would both be content for hours. Responsible for nothing. Accountable to no one. He had gifted you peace.

The sun poured out its affection lavishly over your skin, and you soaked in its embrace. The dress you wore hung loosely from the straps that tied at your shoulders, and the lightweight cotton fabric kissed your skin delicately, providing an unabashed sense of freedom. It had been a long time since you had felt this content and you were already craving a return visit. 

It had been hours since you had seen another person. Every so often there would be a wayward hiker, but for the better part of the day it was just the two of you. Working side by side, in tandem but apart. You were fully consumed by the current manuscript you were reading. It was the third one of the day, but the first to hold your interest. This was undoubtedly the piece you would submit to your boss for publication. 

The author skillfully and eloquently stripped down the world as we know it, and submerged the reader into the unknown. With the trivial things torn away, everything came back to basics. What did a person truly need to survive? What did we look to in order to feel secure? Sure, the tried and true standards still applied - Food. Water. Shelter. But what were those things without hope? Was there even a point?

It was a love story at its core. A devastating one, but a love story nonetheless. It seemed a cruel irony to make it all the way through life only to find love at the end of the world. Love was already a precarious thing, but the stakes were even higher in their world. The person you joined your life with was the person that kept you alive. 

There was a perfect balance between danger and sweetness. You had invested fully in the characters. Their joy was your joy, their pain your pain. So when the unthinkable happened, your heart thudded to a stop. A shocked sob escaped your lips, breaking the silence that had settled.

Benedict looked at you in alarm. “What’s happened?”

You shook your head, waving off his worry. You’d almost forgotten he was there. “This author is fantastic. It feels so real.”

His lazy smile spread across his face. “You’ll have to tell me about it once you’re finished.”

Normally you loved telling him about the books you read. He always hung on your words and asked enthusiastic questions. But you weren’t sure you could do that with this one. Her leading man bore a striking resemblance to yours. Even the glances you were stealing of him now were almost unbearable. If there was one person in this world whose loss would bury you, it was Benedict. 

Family wasn’t something that you had a surplus of. Your parents had both been gone for years. Caroline was your only sibling and you had drifted apart as you got older. But Benedict had always been there, and you made a family of your own. Each day he started to mean more to you than you were comfortable with. You tried to ignore it, but your heart was persistent and loud. 

Your eyes welled with tears as you read the final chapter. Images of Benedict’s face flooded your mind while the author described the fate of her hero in heart wrenching detail. The pit in your stomach was about to swallow you whole. Evidence of your despair leaked from the corners of your eyes and made their way to the corners of your mouth, leaving your lips salty and wet. 

You knew it would only deepen the hurt, but you couldn’t resist the pull to look at Benedict. It was only a story but you needed the reminder that he was still here. Like he always was. 

You weren’t sure how, but he looked more striking than he had just a moment ago. Maybe your imaginary grief had heightened your awareness of him. Or maybe it snapped your perspective into focus. You were in love with your best friend but you had no clue what to do with that revelation. 

You were so lost in your reverie that he startled you when he spoke. “What’s that look about, Sunshine?”

“I’m just remembering you,” you said meekly, averting your eyes.

“Hmph,” he sighed.

Setting down his paintbrush, he came to sit behind you on the blanket. His arm reached around your side and pulled the book from your hands. “Who is this Bradstreet person, and why have they made you cry? It was a happy day. I thought we’d finally chased the grey away.”

A shiver ran deep when you felt the heat from his lips press softly into the naked skin at your shoulder. Steadying yourself, you turned your face into him so you could meet him eye to eye. You weren’t sure what his small, but intimate gesture meant. He had always behaved in this familiar way with you. Touch wasn’t something that he shied away from. It’s how he showed affection. This was just the first time you had ever opened yourself up to the possibility of more.

Your fingers reached up to brush the waves of his dark hair away from his face. The tension left his body at your touch and he melted into you. His eyes closed and he smiled sweetly as he hummed his appreciation. You rarely initiated touch with him like this and you were now realizing what a crime that was.

His lips touched your skin again in a silent thank you. The importance of this moment was finally sinking into your bones. Now was the time to make sure he understood what he meant to your life. You didn’t think you would ever forgive yourself if the world came tumbling down and you left out that he was the only one…

Your eyes lingered on his in a silent exchange before you leaned in to capture his lips with your own. His body stilled for a split second but quickly reanimated, matching your energy with intention. Years of unidentified longing flowed out through your touch and held him close to you. 

He broke your kiss to catch a breath.

“Thank God,” he whispered. “I was beginning to worry that you’d never feel it.”

An exhausted amusement washed over you. “You know me… Always taking the long way around.”

His answering laugh was your favorite sound. It was warm and deep. A familiar comfort.

“Well worth the wait,” he declared, tucking your hair behind your ear.

In that moment a switch inside you flipped. Desire for this man had made itself known, sending a pulsing urgency to overtake you like a riptide. The smell of him, so close and invasive, was a provocative elixir calling out to awaken wanton need. 

The heat from his toned, lean body radiated from behind you seeping into your spine. Its invitation was impossible to resist, so you let go, giving yourself over completely. His arms welcomed you in and every inch of him conformed to fit you perfectly. Broad shoulders provided a safe place to lay your head as his face dipped to rest in the crook of your neck. His deep breaths coaxed a thrilling shiver from you as he savored the scent of your skin. 

You craved him with such intensity that it was painful. Your body, seeking a remedy, pressed deeper into his with a slow, sensual tempo. The blood felt like it was burning through your veins, and every muscle clenched with the anticipation of release. 

His body understood your plea and began to guide your movements. The low, humming ache between your thighs had grown into a throbbing demand. This lust was an insatiable beast, only mollified by his touch.

“Benedict…” you begged breathlessly. The feel of his lips sucking your neck into his mouth was driving you to distraction. Your mind fantasized his warm, wet tongue exploring other parts of you.

His kiss never left your skin for more than a moment and his hands had found a new boldness. You could smell dried paint, a scent synonymous with him, as his fingers danced over your shoulder to the tied straps of your dress. When his movements stopped, you looked back at him to find his eyes silently asking your permission to continue. You gave your consent without question.

Nimble fingers made easy work of the bows holding the top of your dress to your body. The soft cotton fell around your waist, exposing your bare, heaving chest to the elements. The warmth of the sun soaked into the sensitive skin of your breasts, and the wind whispered over your nipples, puckering them with pleasure.

Benedict’s stuttered, appreciative breath quickened your heart. His heavy gaze was ravenous as he took in the sight of you. His teeth raked across his bottom lip, attempting restraint.

“Y/n, can I touch you?” he asked. Always the gentleman.

A sudden bout of nerves crept up your throat. This was all so surreal. It was Benedict. Your best friend. Your favorite person on Earth. What if this changed all that? You didn’t want to be without him. You couldn’t. 

For a moment, the two of you sat together in limbo. Your mind was trying to logic you out of this, but your heart understood a new truth. It was already too late to go back, to settle for a fraction of what he was offering you now. Your need for him had grown to encompass more than friendship. It would never feel like enough again. 

You took his hand in yours and led him to your soft, supple bust. Holding your breath, you waited. For what exactly, you weren’t sure. Maybe you were afraid of his dissatisfaction. The last man you let see you this way was fond of critiquing your body. Exposure was the scariest place to encounter judgment. There was nowhere to hide. The words heard there never leave you.

Disdain started to flicker in your mind. Remembering old words from a person who no longer held significance was pointless. And yet, how could you not remember? He had thought your breasts were too large. “Anything more than a handful was too much.”

You realized now, as Benedict’s warm palms grazed over you, that the problem never resided with you. That other man’s hands were simply inferior. Benedict held you with ease, cupping you securely in his grasp. His strong fingers kneaded gently, feeling your contours and curves. He silenced your insecurities and fueled you with courage. There was no need for pretenses. He already knew it all. Both the embarrassing and the unflattering. He knew, and he stayed. More than that, he knew and wanted you in spite of it all.

Inhibitions dissolved as you leaned into his touch. You were completely lost. Unaware of anything outside of desire.That’s probably why his sudden exclamation startled you.

“Don’t move!” His arm wrapped tightly around your body to cover you.

Panic set in as your mind ran wild over all the possibilities for his warning. The tall grass surrounding you provided a plethora of nightmares.

“Oh God, what?! Is there a snake?” Your skin crawled at the thought of the slithering serpent. 

His voice lowered to a whisper in your ear. “There’s someone there,” he replied. “They’re watching us.”

Standing just inside the nearest treeline you spotted a young woman frozen with indecision. She was close enough to make clear eye contact with and her expression was shouting a mortified apology. A professional looking camera dangled freely from the strap around her neck. Her photography excursion wandered into something more than landscapes. Although, you supposed this was still nature at its core.

The two of you remained locked in a silent exchange. You weren’t sure what you saw there that granted you permission, but you felt yourself relax in Benedict’s hold. 

“It’s okay,” you calmed him.

You reached up and slowly started to drag his hand down your stomach to the top of the bunched fabric at your waist. All the while never breaking your stare with the onlooking stranger.

Benedict’s breath hitched in your ear and his fingernails scraped across your tummy, releasing a fresh wave of need inside you. “Don’t stop, Ben. I need you.”

His entire hand splayed out over your lower abdomen, pressing you firmly into the insistent bulge throbbing between you. “Mmmm,” he groaned. “You’re an impatient little thing, aren’t you? All needy and squirmy, clutching your thighs together. Fuck, I bet you are soaking for me…”

“You could easily find out,” you challenged.

Reflexively, his fingers twitched with excitement. His voice went dark, forcing you to understand the serious nature of his words.

“Look at me,” he commanded. “Are you certain about this? Tell me clearly.”

You peered up into his face, focusing on only him. If he was nervous, he wasn’t letting on, but it was clear that he needed something more from you than just consent. 

“I need to feel you,” you instructed, guiding him firmly where you ached for him. You made sure to stay locked in to his gaze, leaving no room for miscommunication. “She can watch, or she can leave. I don’t fucking care, but I can’t wait. I’m aching, Ben. Make it better.”

The two of you gasped in unison when his long, capable fingers slid between your folds. 

“Darling, where are your knickers?” he asked, reveling in the feel of you. His teeth nipped at your jawline. “You’ve been open and exposed all afternoon, barely hidden by this fetching little frock, and I’ve just been a clueless sod playing with my paints.”

His slow, stroking motions stirred the beast inside of you. Your body purred for him, vibrating at a frequency only he could hear. It called for him, telling him exactly where you needed him next. He spread you further, and his middle finger took a scandalously languid dive to tease your pulsing entrance.

Your cunt sought out for him with a fluttering welcome, desperately willing him to push past the threshold. The thought of him sinking into you there had you writhing restlessly in his lap.

His tongue traced the contour of your ear. “Oohhh, yes. You liked that. I can feel it. Do you want more?”

“Mmmhmm,” you could only manage a half lucid whimper in response.

“Open your eyes,” he encouraged. “See how your body has inspired our voyeuristic friend.”

The beautiful stranger had taken a brave step out from under the cover of trees. Her face held a comforting familiarity that somehow made you feel safe. Even as she brought the zoomed lens of the camera to her eye to capture your image, you still felt no shame.

“Would you like to show her what a work of art your body truly is?” Finally, his devilish digit invaded your warmth, causing you to moan out in satisfaction. “That’s my good girl. Arch for her. Show her how gorgeous your skin is while it’s blushed with heat. Such a pretty color.”

You had never truly known what arousal was until that very moment. His velvety baritone in your ear combined with the depths of his reach within you, and the witness of the anonymous onlooker had brought you to a precipice that you were terrified to give way to.

Reading your body like braille, he partnered his ring and middle fingers, stretching you as they curled. His speed quickened as his pressure increased, manipulating your body to obey his commands. 

Your hips began to dance with his rough palm, providing a friction on your clit that stole all of the air from your lungs. Oblivion was almost there. Just a couple more inches and you could reach out and touch it. 

He could feel the beginnings of your climax start to pull his fingers in deeper to you. “That’s it, love. We’re almost there. Will you give it to me?”

You would have given him anything he asked for as long as he didn’t stop moving. The hand that you didn’t have held in a vice grip between your legs came to your aid, pinching one of your nipples, just on the right side of pain. 

His ministrations had delivered you over to the abyss. There were no outside sounds. Nothing to see but white hot pleasure. Nothing to keep you from blissfully floating away into forever. Your only tether was the feel of his heartbeat guiding you home. You listened to its call, slowly bringing your own in time to match his steady rhythm. You were one heart. One mind. One soul.

Color started to seep back into your world. His gentle voice coaxed you back to consciousness. “Breathe. I’m right here. Just breathe.”

The immensity of what you just experienced had dissolved you of all control. A sobbing laughter bubbled up your throat, and you recognized the searing heat of unshed tears behind your eyes. All you knew was gratitude.

You turned slightly in his arms so that you could reach for his face. Your lips burned into his, moving with hunger. Gladly, you opened your mouth to his tongue, allowing him to breathe life back into you. The taste of him washed over your senses, driving a primal instinct somewhere inside of you.

Lifting yourself slightly, you rose to your knees in front of him, gathering the hem of your dress so that it hung forward, leaving you completely exposed to the man behind you.

You reached for the collar of his shirt, yanking him to his knees so that the back of your body melded into the front of him. The feel of his body running along the length of you sent shivers coursing through you from head to toe.

His lips devoured the skin of your neck and his bite sank into the muscle at your shoulder. One strong hand wrapped around your throat, pulling you harshly against his muscular torso. 

His growl in your ear had you dripping for him all over again. “I’m going to fuck you. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you said breathlessly. “Please, Benedict…”

You reached behind you, and the two of you worked together to pull his jeans away from his body. You didn’t have a chance to see him with your eyes, but you could feel the impressive size of him nuzzled between your cheeks as he ground into you.

You felt bereft when his arms released you, but his lips assured you that he was still there while he kissed his way from the nape of your neck and down your spine to the center of your back. One hand went to your hip to steady you and the other aligned the thick head of his cock with your pussy. 

“Ready?” he stilled.

“Now, Benedict. Right now.” You had never sounded so needy in your life.

Inch by satisfying inch, he pushed himself inside you. The stretch was unbelievable. Your body was made to accommodate him. He filled you to the edge of your limits, fitting around him so tightly that you could feel the steady thrum of his pulse thumping against your walls. 

“Fuuuuccck… You’re so warm. I love the way you hold onto me like that.” he praised you.

He only gave you a few more seconds to adjust before he started to move. With both hands on your hips, he repeatedly seated you in his lap, withdrawing slowly each time so that his tip caught around the ring at your entrance. When he entered you again, it was hard and deep. The pace was agonizing. Glimpses of the tingles he would bring you started to make themselves known as he introduced his body to every inch of yours.

Your eyes glanced up to find the photographer documenting your pleasure. She had lowered herself to the ground to explore new angles of your debauchery. You wondered if she was affected by the atmosphere. Would she go home and seek a release of her own. Would your heaving chest and Benedict’s feral noises bring her pleasure?

Benedict’s hand came back to wrap around your throat, effectively securing you to him again. The fingers of his other hand ventured below the fabric at your hips and found you swollen and throbbing.

“You like it that she’s watching, don’t you?” he smirked. “I like watching her watch you. If I can’t see your face, I can at least read hers to see how I’m doing.”

“Are my moans not enough? If you need me louder, I need you harder.” you laughed challengingly.

“Holyyyyy… Fuck, that felt food. I can feel you laughing from inside you.” his grip on your throat tightened a bit. “I want to make you laugh like that for the rest of your life.”

All traces of humor were lost now. His hold sealed around you, solidifying his promise of forever. Something inside of him flipped, and he thrust into you like it was the only thing keeping him alive. 

Deep, husky breaths panted into your ear between dizzying kisses. You started to tremble as every cell in your body responded to his urgent, pleading seduction. Searching for a way to ground yourself, you reached behind you to entwine your fingers in the hair at the base of his skull, tugging forcefully while hanging on for dear life.

“Oooohhhhhhh,” you gasped. “Oh, God! Benedict, yessss. You feel so good. Please. Please!”

“Hang on just a little while longer,” he beseeched. “Wait for me. I need us to come together.”

“Hurry Ben,” you warned. “I can’t… You feel…”

Stringing a sentence together was starting to become impossible. It took every ounce of focus you had to keep yourself from exploding around him. The desperate, punishing tempo of his hips was relentless. The lewd sounds your bodies made as they smacked together grew louder and louder with each powerful thrust.

Daring to glance across the field, you met the gaze of the daring beauty with whom you had shared this incredibly intimate experience. Even from a distance you could see her labored breathing as she lived vicariously through you. Her eyes were spurring you on, chasing the release as much as you were. There was something so erotic about the moment, and you couldn’t look away from her. 

The muscles of your core started to contract around Benedict’s cock. If he wanted to come with you, it had to be now.

“Benedict…” you whimpered.

“I know, baby. I know,” he soothed. “It’s okay. If you come, you’ll take me with you.”

The power that he had just put into your hands was weighty. Knowing that you wielded such control over him made you weak for him. It was a paradox you didn’t need to understand, you just knew it to be true.

His hand left your throat to tilt your face into his, foreheads pressed together in intimacy. “Eyes on me,” he ordered. “Don’t look at her. This part of you is mine.”

His dilated pupils were hypnotic. You couldn’t have looked away if you tried. “Come, y/n. Come for me.”

You had never been good at following orders but his voice lulled you into submission. His tone simultaneously made you eager to please, but also undoubtedly sure that he knew what was best in that moment. 

His kiss extinguished your scream of ecstasy as he burrowed deeper into your body. His movements had stopped, and you realized that it was you who continued to torturously milk his seed from his body and claim it as your own. The warmth lined your walls as he spasmed inside your cunt.

He lowered the two of you to the blanket, never leaving the safety of his newfound home inside your walls.

“I don’t want to leave you yet,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “Catch your breath. I’ll keep you full. We can drift away.”

Your eyes fluttered open, squinting as the sun beamed down onto your face. It was a warm, cinnamon summer. Rich colors saturated the atmosphere, spreading romantic hues along the horizon. Time seemed to slow, bringing you into stillness. You willed yourself to stay awake, determined to commit every moment of this to memory. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t fight it. His spell was pulling you under, washing over you in a peaceful calm. Wrapped safely in the heat of his embrace, you found rest.

“I love you,”he confessed, voice laced with sleep.

You brought his hand to your lips and kissed his palm. “You’re my favorite thing. The only one, Benedict. The only one…”

Neither of you knew if the woman still stood somewhere on the edge of your reality. It didn’t really matter anymore. It was just the two of you. The way it always had been. The way it was always meant to be.

~~~~~~~~~~

6 Weeks Later

Butterflies danced in your stomach as you waited patiently for Benedict to arrive at your house. He informed you earlier in the day that he had a surprise planned to celebrate your author recommendation being selected for publication. You were hoping it involved one of his signature home cooked meals and the removal of all his clothing.

You heard the keys clinking in the lock as he let himself in, bellowing out your name to alert you to his arrival.

“I’m in the kitchen,” you shouted down the hall.

He was wearing the most devilishly handsome grin as he sauntered into the kitchen carrying an ornately wrapped gift box.

“What’s this,” you asked with thinly veiled excitement.

“Just a little something to mark the occasion,” he replied. “Go ahead, open it.”

His impatience was endearing. He was clearly proud of whatever it was inside this box. You lifted the lid to find four framed black and white photos, all of which contained the memories of the most significant day of your life. 

You didn’t know how, but these were the photos taken by the woman in the clearing that day. She was an exceptional talent. The compositions themselves showed a great amount of skill, but the truly impressive part was the emotion she captured. 

From the looks of things, she had been in that clearing a lot longer than you had been aware. The first photo was of you and Benedict working side by side in silence. Your nose was buried in your reading, brow furrowed in angst, and Benedict was smiling sweetly, watching you read. 

The second photo was stunningly intimate. The two of you sat huddled on the blanket. Your eyes closed with an almost prayerful expression etched on your face, and Benedict with his head bowed, pressing his lips into the bare skin of your shoulder.

The last two were carnal. You felt the heat rush to your cheeks as you took them in.

Benedict’s voice startled you. “I told you your body was a work of art. Look how fucking gorgeous you are in these. Unguarded. Free…”

A lump formed in your throat as you fought the urge to cry. “How did you…?”

“Dumb luck,” he answered. “ I ran into our mystery woman a couple of weeks ago at that new gallery opening you refused to attend with me.”

You rolled your eyes. “I didn’t refuse to attend. I had the flu.”

“Same difference,” he smirked. “So, do you like them? She gave me all the negatives too. No one else will ever see these outside the three of us.”

“I love them,” you sniffled. “It’s our first time. Immortalized. They’re perfect. Thank you, Benedict.”

He shook his head and kissed you chastely. “No, thank you.”

“For what,” you queried.

“For loving me back.”

_______________________________________________

Tags - @faye-tale @eleanor-bradstreet @colettebronte @bridgertontess @angels17324 @musicismyoxygen84

[irontragedyreview]

I'm going to be honest, I wasn't going to write about the leaks in this chapter (I still like to see more leakers posting about this, especially those I trust the most), but if there is something more obnoxious than the shipper discurse, that is the men discurse and the way in which they interpret the characters in shonen, because believe me, shonen is a genre where the worst takes by men on characters are concentrated, especially when you talk about the side emotional. Seriously, many men have not left their edgy child phase who believes that the world is horrible and that the characters have to see reality, etc., outside of the children/teenagers who watch the shonen genre more than anything for the fights, etc. many men who literally have hundreds of followers who analyze the stories as if they were experts on the subject, from the most toxic masculinity perspective.

Also, in all the previous chapters I wanted to do an analysis about Tomura and Izuku but no matter how much I wanted, the words didn't come, these leaks plus certain comments managed to unlock my words.

I'm going to start with Tomura because he's the birthday boy. The takes I have read of this character throughout the manga, especially outside tumblr and by men, are terrible, however nothing compares to the comments after these leaks, from people saying that it was great because his character didn't deserve redemption, that at the end was nothing more than a puppet of AFO and therefore his construction doesn’t matter or not exist because Tomura for them didn’t exist outside as an object for AFO, etc. One of the insights that chapter 418 left is that Tomura/Tenko has never made a single decision in his life and that his path has always been marked and signed by AFO. Those words remained in the minds of the readers and were validated by the fact that the origin of Decay was made by AFO and even Tenko’s birth was planned by AFO, because again AFO is the villain of  thousand plans and is in every step. Seriously, Tenko was only born to be another pawn in AFO's game, because according to the leaks AFO created him and therefore even Tomura's decisions are only a permitted ramification of what AFO wanted him to feel and think.

However, it’s a damn lie, it doesn't matter that AFO was a starting point for Tomura, his ideas, his relationships with the LOV, are HIS. It’s that he chose, not for nothing his last words before of being swallowed by AFO were "even if all my hatred fades and only an empty shell remains, I must still be a hero for them (the villains/his LOV)” it’s the first time since the final battle began that Tomura looked closer to peace and his words were reflected in being a hero for his people, the helpless who are abandoned by society. Likewise, another of the things that was repeated during his confrontation with Izuku, it was wanting to make it clear that he wasn’t human, that nothing more but destruction would be his salvation. In the same way he repeats that he killed his family because it was his will, because someone like him was born "rotten", his quirk marked him to be only destruction. This was even repeated by AFO, the constant search for Tomura to internalize that what happened was something he was looking for and we’re aware that it’s a lie. The decay's "awakening" was a traumatic event that was exacerbated for Kotaro, who beat his son and instilled fear in him, not for nothing Tenko was having a breakdown when his quirk "awakened", he didn’t want to kill Mon-chan, his sister, his mother or family, he was a scared child who just wanted to reach a safe place. The only death where Tenko could say that he has a minimum will is with Kotaro but ignoring the context is a mistake.

It’s not innocent that during the fight in the fortress Tenko would have felt more violent and resurfaced when he saw how all the heroes around him gave their lives to revive bk, we have him screaming "why no one helped me when there was still time, when I wasn't that broken yet" (not exact words but a paraphrase), Tenko was still there fighting against AFO, Tenko never disappeared no matter how hard AFO tried to quell him, the pain of a society that ignored him formed his vision of a heroes society like something rotten, the vision of All Might as the hero who shapes a society that hides everything among shiny things but forgets those that the heroes ignore or not fit in.

Because something that we can’t ignore that the society that gave rise to villains like Tomura and even AFO, is an apathetic and cruel society to people that doesn’t fit. We can argue that beyond all the things that AFO has done, perhaps he wouldn’t be what he is now if he had not grown up in a society that had just discovered the quirks and saw some of them as monsters and others as something to worship (he kills the shine baby because he was praised), society is so apathetic that it ignores or encourages a cruelty that creates its villains and then is surprised by it. Tomura is also the result of those people who saw a child walking in the streets in shock and stained with blood and passed by and when a single person approached him, just looked at him and said well the heroes will take care of it, leaving him alone. Maybe nothing would have changed because AFO already had a plan for Tomura but the apathy of that society that prefers to ignore responsibility (I'm not talking about citizens having to enter burning buildings replacing professionals, but doing small things, helping people in a small way example helping a lost child, etc). A society that was happy with someone like All Might protected them but when he began to fail and couldn’t take his place turned their backs on him, the same citizens who are seeing children fighting a war and the only thing they think about is losing faith when the results are adverse or when they had to give a safe place to civilians like them or heroes like Deku.

It’s this society that Tomura wants to destroy and it’s understandable because, we can discuss whether the way Tomura wants to do it is correct or not, but let's not deny that Tomura gave a place to people that society pushed away because they didn’t fit in and that he wants protect. What I'm trying to get at is that everything that shaped Tomura and his decisions to create the LOV are his decisions, he isn’t a puppet and his vision isn’t to be a pawn just because AFO gave him his quirk, his vision of society isn’t wrong, Tomura chose his path, he chose his people. Izuko's analysis will come shortly because this analysis was too long for me.

[minevn]

Merry Christmas~ Love, Mine

TW: Yani's entire character honestly, Health hazards due to beauty standards, Hoshi says some outta pocket stuff to Jun about starving. Let me know if I've missed anything

You had made a mistake honestly. You should've known that this was going to be chaotic, a mess, and maybe even damper your own Christmas.

You wanted to hang out with everyone though. Was it really too much to ask for? Just a calm, relaxing, fun Christmas with your friends. No! At least you didn't think so. The world had other plans for you though.

About a week ago you went into work, it was the same as usual. While you were taking care of customers orders you couldn't help but think about Christmas and how close it was. Every year Haruto, Aki, Kage, Jun, and you all throw a little Christmas party, a nice gathering to hang out with friends, and family on their end. It's always been fun, even if it gets a bit hectic at times. You've been a little swamped with work though, it's the holidays and people are going to treat themselves to the good ol' Kikuchi restaurant, anyways you haven't had a lot of time to set up things at your place. You'd do that later tonight.

If you weren't exhausted by the end of your shift.

Which you usually are...

"What are you spacing out for, dumbass." A gentle smack to the back of your head snaps you out of your thoughts. Of course, you recognize that voice anywhere from about a years worth of suffering this dude placed upon you. Kikuchi Hoshi. He's mellowed out some around you, you could even classify as friends! Well...that's mainly going off of how they treated you before. It still doesn't look like you two are friends from an outside perspective.

"Sorry! I was thinking about Christmas. I'm throwing the annual Christmas party this year and haven't had time to decorate at all." You explained before quickly getting back to work. You mind barely went back to the Christmas party for the rest of the shift. However, you felt Hoshi's eyes on you the entire rest of the shift.

Your shift was FINALLY over and you were getting ready to close up and head home. Yeah, you'd set up for Christmas tomorrow. "Bye you three." You waved goodbye to the Kikuchi family before turning around and walking.

"Uhm, wait! Excuse me, Y/n?" You turned around to face Mr. Kikuchi. "I heard you were throwing a Christmas party? Would you please allow Habiki and Hoshi to celebrate with you?" He put his large hands on his son's shoulders in a very fatherly way and gave you a smile. "They've always celebrated with me and I would like them to go have fun and celebrate with some friends, or friend, as you are their only friend." Your eyes widened at the request. You gave an awkward smile as you looked between the two. Their body language saying 'I don't want to go and I'd only be going cause my father made me.' but with the way their eyes kept glancing at you with expectancy, their face even faltering when you take longer then you should to respond. That tells you they wanted to go but didn't know how to ask.

"Yeah, they can come. We'd be more then happy to have them." You can't find it in your heart to deny such a request. you feel bad about making such a decision without confronting the rest of the group about it first, but that guilt doesn't last long. Seeing Mr. Kikuchi smile at me before whispering something in his sons ears, seeing Hoshi eyes light up with excitement, seeing a small smile form on Habiki's face, all of that makes you feel good about your impulsiveness. You wave and continue walking home.

When you get home you feel rejuvenated from the pleasant interaction with your boss and his sons. You have enough energy and motivation to set up for Christmas now!

...

...

You didn't sleep at all, but that's okay! You'll just drink 10 cups of coffee today, it'll be okay! You take a quick shower before work and head out, early, cause you need to get two for the morning. You head over to the coffee shop near your work place and ask for two coffee's. As you go to pay a hand stops you before handing the cashier their cash instead. You look up and see Kei smiling down at you.

"Kei?"

"Good morning, Y/n. You didn't sleep last night?" His eyes examine your face, mainly your dark eyebags. His brows furrowed in worry as he gently cupped your cheek. "You really should take better care of yourself, Y/n. I could take care of you if you want."

"What? I couldn't hear that last part."

"Don't worry about it, I was mainly speaking to myself." He smiled down at you before pointing to his seat. "Can you take a seat and save mine please? Rest, I'll get your drink." He let go of you and you did as asked, relaxing and saving his seat.

In no time he brought back your coffee's and sat them down in front of you, before sitting down himself. "Thank you, Kei." you smiled before taking a much needed drink of the coffee.

"Of course, anytime." He smiled at you before his smile faded. He interlocked his fingers and rested his chin on them. "Why did you stay up so late?"

"Oh! I had to set up for a Christmas party. I got some energy and motivation last night, so I decided to just do it." Kei let out a hum in response as he watched you drink more of my coffee. Good, he can watch you thoroughly enjoy his gift! Gift...Kei... "Hey, you wanna come to the party?" You smiled at him, happily enjoying his startled reaction.

"That sounds...lovely. Thank you, Y/n."

"Of course, anytime." You chuckled as you quoted him before standing up. "I gotta head to work now. Thanks for the coffee once again!" He nodded and waved bye to you, watching you head across the street and to your own work.

You walk into work and head to the staff room to put on your work cap and apron before heading about your daily work activities. 'Maybe I should invite everyone? I already bought their gifts last month. If I invite them all then I don't need to make extra trips to give them their gifts, we can just exchange them at the party.' Hours pass and work goes by as usual, except the coffee is wearing off and the customers voices are sounding more slurred to you.

"Y/n!" You almost don't hear it, you're too sleepy, but you do thankfully and turn towards your good friend, Minato.

"Good night, Minato..." You give him a sleepy smile. His brows immediately furrow in worry, not that you see it. He places a large hand on your forehead before pulling it away.

"Did you sleep well?" Minato crosses his arms as he stares down at you.

"I didn't sleep at all."

"You really need to take better care of yourself!" Getting scolded by someone as kind as Minato actually makes you feel bad for a minute but then you see a smile form on his face as he shakes his head. "Did something happen? You could always call me if you need me."

"I was decorating for a Christmas party. You can come too Minato, I'm sure everyone would be pleased to have you." You smile again, your excitement for a Christmas party with all of my friends sounding lovely. (Must've forgotten who they are😞)

"Am I really allowed?" You smile more seeing his excitement grow as well.

"I don't see why or how it would be a problem. Do you want to come? If you need time to think about it that's okay, just let me know before Christmas." He looked so excited, like he would accept in a heartbeat, but then he faltered, clearly thinking about it. It makes sense, he's probably always spent Christmas with his grandparents and he wouldn't want them to be lonely or have something happen to them while he wasn't there. "Think about it Minato and get back to me, it's okay." You place a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks. Sorry I would love to come but my grandparents..."

"I know. It's okay, take all the time you need. If you can't make it this year that's okay. I'll find a time to drop by and give you my gift." His face flushed and he nodded shyly as a thank you.

"You need coffee?"

"10 of them" You laugh, letting him know you were clearly joking. He'd probably pass out from nervousness if he knew you were being serious. He nods and then leaves, letting you head back to work just in time as more customers roll in. You feel more energized just from having that conversation. Could still use that coffee though.

Minato comes back and hands you a large coffee. "Here you go." you take the coffee with a thank you before starting to drink. "Make sure you get sleep tonight and don't drink too much coffee. If you need help waking up in the morning I have ways that can help."

"Thanks Minato." He nods before waving bye to you and leaving. Thanks to the coffee You're more awake for the rest of your shift.

You sigh and put your apron and hat back in your locker. "What do you want?" Hoshi asks rudely while Habiki stares you down. You tense up, remembering how they used to treat you.

"Uhm what? I didn't say anything."

"What? NO! For Christmas!" Hoshi rubs his temples as he glares at you.

"Oh I don't need anything, thank you though." You'd feel bad asking for anything when you don't really know how close you two are. Still, you're surprised that they even thought about getting you anything. The first year all Hoshi gave you was a cruel prank.

"I didn't ask if you NEEDED anything, I asked what you WANTED." You tensed again. He's stubborn and absolutely would not let this go until you gave him an answer.

"I think their brain is fried. They drank three coffee's today."

"Seriously! Did you not sleep well?" Despite his earlier angry tone, he relaxed a little, his eyes and voice hold hints of worry.

"I was so excited for the Christmas party after inviting you two that I got energy to decorate, but I ended up not sleeping." You sheepishly admit, playing with your hair.

"So you're saying this is out fault?" Habiki was teasing, though you couldn't tell

"NO! I just got excited. I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my friends." You yawned before continuing with a smile. "Its been the same four people for most of my life and now we'll have new people. I think that's nice."

"Whatever, just text me what you want when you think of it."

"Night, Y/n."

"Good night Hoshi and Habiki, see you tomorrow." You wave bye to them as they head out. Finally, the day was over. You'd head home and sleep almost instantly.

You open your front door and beeline to your bedroom. Despite feeling like the urge to just plop down on your bed and sleep would be strong, you still had stuff you need to do. You open you door and see Yani sitting on your bed and staring at you intensely before smiling at you. "Hiya Y/n!"

"Yani?! Uhm hi? What are you doing here? How'd you get in?" You ask looking around panicked. "Actually, I don't wanna know. Anyways I'm gonna grab my pajamas and get changed, brush my teeth and go to sleep so..."

"Sooooooo~" Yani looks at you expectantly and you shoot him a confused look. They pout and plop down on your bed dramatically. "You invited everyone else...invite me too please~!"

"Oh! Yani of course you can come...just don't fight with anyone. Promise me."

"I'd never fight with anyone my love~" Yani chuckles before quickly stopping, seeing your unimpressed expression. "...I promise..." It sighs before sitting up and launching itself off your bed, standing up and hugging you. "Carry on with your night, I'll be seeing you~" They press a quick kiss to your cheek before opening up the window and jumping out, waving bye to you. You blink in confusion. You've known Yani for a while and feel like you REALLY should be used to their weird, reckless behavior. Strangest human you've met most definitely. Honestly, they don't even really seem human, but that's a pretty rude thing to think.

You continue about you night as planned getting some well deserved sleep.

And then the week continues, leading all the way up to Christmas.

You may have forgotten to inform the original group of your new guests...

So here you are inside of your place with all your friends, Jun and Haruto looking at the others with caution, Kage more awkward then usual, and Minato and Aki being the only two that are getting along great.

Yeah, maybe not the best Idea to invite others impulsively. Maybe it would've been better if I had actually remembered to contact the original group and let them know. I messed up.

"Kei, it's...amazing...to see you again after all this time." Haruto says with a forced smile. At least he's being civil this time around, he didn't hide his hatred for Kei back in High School.

"The feelings are mutual." Kei sounds as uncaring as usual. It would be humorous if only it wasn't so awkward.

Jun and Kage are talking amongst themselves, which is understandable since they're the same age and had classes together. Jun probably would talk to Aki instead but she's absorbed in her conversation with Minato. Makes sense, they're the easiest people to get along with as they're both sociable and kind. Hoshi and Habiki are talking to each other since they don't really know anyone else, you're pretty sure they're also aware that others know they used to pick on you often too. Yani is...watching you with a lovesick expression.

"Y/n, can we talk? Privately." Haruto looks your way with an unreadable expression, all you can tell is that he's NOT pleased with this. I stand up nervously and follow Haruto to my bedroom. "Why are they here?? Like seriously, Kei, of ALL people! And what about those twins?? Don't they torment you? And that pink haired person, all they've done this entire time is stare at you. Are you in danger? Did these people threaten you?" Haruto's questions and judgements spilled from his mouth.

"I meant to inform you guys but ended up forgetting. I'm sorry. I was spacing out at work one day and Hoshi asked what I was spacing out for, so I told him I was spacing out thinking about the Christmas party. I guess he told Habiki and his dad about it and they wanted to come. Their dad asked for them, and they looked happy when I accepted." I smile recalling the moment, but then remembered that I had made things uncomfortable. "Minato's-"

"Minato's fine. He can come to Christmas parties if he wants I guess."

"Kei and Yani really aren't that bad." You couldn't help but think 'they're worse then bad' to yourself but refrained from saying anything. Truth be told they still had their good moments more then their bad ones, their bad was just really bad. Okay that mainly just applies to Kei. Yani is...how would one describe Yani? How did you become friends with these people again, normal people wouldn't allow them to come even remotely close to them after what they pulled.

"I just...don't trust those two, especially Kei."

"I understand. I'm sorry it won't happen again. Christmas is our time and I kinda broke the tradition didn't I?" Haruto chuckled slightly before nodding.

"Yeah. Let's go exchange presents and then celebrate Jun's birthday." Haruto walked out of you room and back into the living room with his presents, you sat next to him of course.

"Let's start exchanging gifts!" You said cheerfully, trying to ease the awkward tension. Haruto goes to slide you your gift, but Hoshi haphazardly throws his gift at you. Jun pouts.

"I should've been the first one to exchange presents. Especially with Y/n."

"Well then maybe you should've been faster." Hoshi remarks, a slight smirk on his face. Well, this can't be good. "Why should you be the first to exchange gifts anyways. Are you that special? Crazy, since I've never heard of you."

"Hoshi-"

"I usually exchange gifts first since it's also my birthday."

"Oh. Congratulations on being one year closer to death. Did you know people have a higher change of dying on their birthday then they do any other day? Maybe your time is coming faster then expected, you were so slow like an old, deteriorating person."

"I'M YOUNGER THEN YOU?!"

"I couldn't tell with how slow you were. Seriously, if your so good and special then be faster."

"Who are YOU? Seriously, it's tradition that I choose who to exchange presents with first. You can't just waltz in here like you own the place and ruin this for us."

"You ruined it yourself with how slow you are. Must have lower energy then most people because you look like you hardy eat. What? Too focused on beauty standards. Who gives a shit anyways, we all end up looking the same eventually. See you 6 feet under when we're just skeletons, tell me if you care about beauty then."

"Hoshi!"

"Excuse me? Seriously, who the fuck are you? Coming in here and insulting my sister like that! You don't know anything about her and what she's been through so keep your mouth shut." Oh great, now Aki is mad and joining in.

"I don't need to know anything about this person, I can tell just from looking at her."

"Hoshi, can you knock it off?!" You shout at Hoshi. Out of the corner of your eye you see Yani smile. "You should apologize to jun. Also take this back for now and let Jun exchange her gifts." You turn towards Aki and Jun apologetically. "I'm sorry about, Hoshi."

"Hoshi?"

"You mean the guy that's really awful towards you at work?"

"Y-yeah. Those are the horrendous twins."

"I haven't even done anything yet...?" Habiki shoots Kage a confused glance.

"I've seen the way you two treat Y/n at work. I even got some of that treatment." Despite Kage's timid personality, they shot a glare at the twins.

"They've gotten...better. Today just isn't a good example of it..." You sigh and throw your head back, looking at the ceiling and wondering why it went wrong so quickly.

"Y/N! They're fighting, does that mean I can fight too?" Yani asked with excitement.

"NO! I don't want any fighting!"

"I can do physical fighting if verbal fighting is the problem for you?"

"EVERY fighting is the problem to me!?" You're REALLY starting to regret inviting these people. "Minato, Kei, thank you two for being the best behaved."

"Once again, I haven't even done anything yet."

"I haven't actually done anything either! I just talked about it."

"Both of you just need to stop speaking. Habiki I don't like the use of the word 'yet' in your sentence."

"I think Kei's done something wrong by still being alive..."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear you Haruto..." You shot him a glare and he looked at you confused, feigning innocence. "Gift exchange, we are behind schedule people." Jun hands you her gift first, then she hands Aki hers, then Kage's, then Haruto's. In return you all give Jun your gifts that you had gotten her. You then exchanged gifts with your self invited guests. "Alright Jun, I'll go get your cake."

"I can come with you, cutie~!" Jun stood up and started following you. You didn't notice but Yani followed you too. Of course it did, it follows you everywhere... Jun seemed to notice though and shot a glare at Yani. "Go sit down, three's a crowd."

"I agree!" Yani moved closer to Jun and pulled a pocket knife out of her sleeve. Smiling at Jun's horrified face. "Maybe you should go sit down and celebrate your birthday with your friends, Y/n will be out in a little, kay? Stop being annoying and go be patient." Jun backed away and sat down panicked as she kept glancing at Yani who kept watching her. You brought the cake out shortly placed it in front of Jun excitedly, smiling at her.

"Merry Christmas, Jun. But most importantly, happy birthday!"

"T-thank you." Jun's face flushed as she cut the cake to give a slice to everyone. In the end everything worked out. Jun had a happy birthday and you all had a Merry Christmas.

(Happy Holidays from me and the Mine cast! I hope you all had a good Christmas/ Diwali/ Kwanzaa/ Hanukkah/ Yule/ Just a good day!! :3)

[444rockstargf]

"i can be your little dairy queen." | clyde

meet me in the pale moonlight. - lana del rey

summary: you work at a fast food joint, and one night you happen to stumble across clyde

waitress!reader x clyde

word count: 937

contents: highschool love type of thing (reader and clyde are teenagers)

it was nearly midnight, and clyde was lying on the grass looking at the dark blue sky. he watched as life went on around him, seeing how beautiful everything was from a stoner’s perspective. the city was illuminated with lights that were bound to light up one’s soul.

but one little building in particular caught his eye. “diner” it read in bright red light-up letters. it looked like one that you’d stumble across in the 70s. it had a warm, comfortable feel to it, and that was only from the outside. there was something that drew clyde to the diner. he couldn’t take his eyes off of the big, cursive letters. so he hopped on his board and rode down the street to it.

you were the only one working that night, and you were exhausted. you glanced at the time, the clock reading 11:43. you mopped the checkered tile floor, cleaned off the marble counter, and got a damp rag and started wiping down all the bright red tables. you’d been working all day, so the end of your shift couldn’t arrive quickly enough. 

clyde had been peeking through the window, watching as you took care of the entire place by yourself. he was impressed by your work ethic, and mesmerised by your grace and beauty. it was clear that you were good at what you did, and you managed to look good doing it at the same time. he realized that he’d been staring for a while, so he took a deep breath before walking in.

a little bell above the door announced his presence. you sighed, expecting a grumpy customer who couldn’t afford to go anywhere else at this time of night. “welcome to moonlight diner. i’ll be with you in just a-” you turned around and saw clyde standing there with a little smile on his face. he was wearing cargo pants, a flannel, and held a skateboard under his arm. and he had the most beautiful hair you had ever seen.

you suddenly felt very underdressed in your simple red uniform dress and apron. you weren’t used to people like him coming to the diner. it was usually mean girls and their boyfriends making fun of you for having to earn money yourself. he cleared his throat to get you out of your daze. you made eye contact with him. god, those eyes were like blue diamond staring right at you.

you snapped out of it and smiled nervously. “welcome, you can take a seat anywhere and ill be with you in just a moment.” you tried to calm yourself down, but the way he looked at you was driving you insane. he smiled and sat down in a little booth in the corner of the room. he watched as you walked behind the counter, getting a menu before walking back to him.

you placed in on the table right in front of him, smiling. “here’s your menu, sir. i’ll give you a moment.” you turned to start walking away, but he started speaking. “that’s alright actually. you can pick my order tonight.” he said this like it was the most casual thing in the world. you didn’t question him and went straight to the kitchen.

he was attractive in such an effortless way. he seemed so real compared to everyone else you saw everyday. you didn’t know what he’d be interested in, so you decided to make him your specialty. a strawberry milkshake with whipped cream and heart-shaped sprinkles. you whipped it up in less than 2 minutes, making sure every last detail was perfect.

then you had an idea. it was a little bold, but you knew that this was probably going to be your only chance. you grabbed a napkin from the side and wrote something in red pen. you put the napkin and milkshake on a tray, carefully carrying it over to him. he was playing with his hair when you arrived.

you gently set the napkin down, putting the milkshake on top to hide your little message. clyde thanked you and smiled. but it was such a warm and welcoming smile that you felt your heart melting just from that little gesture. then you left him alone, going into the kitchen and hiding behind the door and watching him through the foggy window.

you saw him drain the entire thing quickly, and he looked happy. you were over the moon that he liked what you made for him. then he picked up the napkin to wipe his mouth, and that was when he saw it. he read to message to himself. “meet me tomorrow in the parking lot. 7:00pm sharp.” and you drew a little smiley face.

he looked toward the kitchen and you ducked down, hoping that he didn’t see you. you noticed that he still hadn’t left after a minute, so you thought that something was wrong. then you heard the bell ding. he had left. you rushed out of the kitchen and went to his table to collect the glass. he had left a $50 bill on the table. very generous tip considering the shake was only $4.99.

you started thinking that he discarded your invite, making your heart sink. at least you tried, but something about being rejected like this made your body ache. you took the glass and the bill, seeing some messy writing on the back of it. your heart leaped with joy as you read what it said. “it’s a date. see you tomorrow!!” and to top it off, he drew a little smiley face, matching yours.

author's note: i rlly dk what made me want to write this so badly but i hope you all like it. :)) im still working on ur requests btw.

[blakeswritingimagines]

In the nightshade library *SMUT*

A/N: Put up a poll and Ajax smut won so here we go peeps, Nothing to heavy i believe but if i just don’t remember just let me know!

Word count: 2,532

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Wednesday characters nor do I claim to own them. 

Ajax was caught off guard when you started sucking on his thumb, but he couldn't help but groan a bit. He leaned his head back thinking to himself that so far this whole all you did was tease him by either bending over in front of him or even lightly placing the tip of your pen in your mouth once you knew he was looking, and he opened his eyes and smiled in a bit of amusement. Following behind you as you lead him to the nightshade library and as he followed behind you he wrapped his arms around pulling you close as you both made your way down the stairs.

Ajax started to smirk a bit, and he looked down at you as you gave him an innocent look. He looked you in the eyes and started to speak as he picked you up slightly only to make you sit on a table and stand in between your legs. He enjoyed getting your attention, and it was obvious that you enjoyed getting punished by him. In fact, from an outsider's perspective, these two just seemed like best friends at this point. "Well then, why do you get into trouble all the time, hmm?" He asked, with a smile as he spoke.

Looking up at him with a devious look in your eye as a smirk appeared on your lips, knowing you could easily push him even further over the edge before finally giving you an answer to your question "well today was to see how long until you broke" You said giggling to yourself about your own answer then looked him in the eye waiting for his next move only to let out a soft gasp.

“Alright, so you think you can play around with me all you want? Do you want to push me over the edge? Fine.” He said, grinning. He moved his right hand up to your face, his thumb under your chin, and his index and middle fingers pressed to your throat then spoke one last time to give you a chance to back out “I’ll give you one last chance to back down before I punish you. This is your only warning, You little brat.”, you bit down on your lower lip as you let his words sink in before giving him a smug grin as you bucked your hips against his, shaking your head at his warning knowing this was what you wanted with him as you started to feel even needier then softly whispered as you looked into his eyes "I wanna continue Ajax".

For a split second Ajax didn’t expect you to respond back with a look of wanting more in your eyes. He thought you would back down, instead, you pushed your hips up at him and told him you needed his punishment. His mouth couldn’t stop a wide grin. He looked down at you and spoke into your ear. “You want more? More is what you will get.” He whispered. You felt a chill go down your spine at his words then looked up at him with half-lidded eyes as he started to get more into it, nodding your head at him as you placed your hands onto his shoulders then bit your lower lip trying to keep your noises inside as soon as he got started in pleasuring and punishing you all at the same time. With one hand, he held you down, while the other was free to do what it pleased. First, he ran his hand across your neck, moving under your shirt, making sure to give your breasts plenty of attention. Then he lightly spoke as he pulled your shirt off “That’s what you like, huh?” He leaned down placing kisses all across your skin before starting to suck marks and leave love bites where ever he could.

He spoke to her. He placed his right hand on your thighs and began to pleasure you with his fingers. His left hand held your legs up, so you had no choice but to submit to his control. “Is this what you wanted baby? You wanted to submit to me, and I’ve made that a reality.”, his fingers worked their magic in the most delicate and precise way, yet not too gently to make you think it was all sunshine and candy. These feelings would be a roller coaster of emotions, a constant up and down for you. There was no way you could prepare for what came next. Ajax smiled as he looked up from in between your legs.

Ajax heard your moaning, and your desire was all he needed to hear just to even have the thought of giving you more. He smiled and looked into your eyes. He knew what you wanted.“I’ll do even better.” He said, with a grin. "I’ll do both.”, He got to work right away using his fingers first and then his tongue. The pace was swift, and the passion was at an all-time high.

Ajax’s mouth worked hard to please you, yet he was glad to do the job. He looked up to you after a moment to see if you enjoyed everything so far, waiting for you to give the green light so that he could do more. His tongue moved with skill, hitting the right spot and going faster when he knew it would get you going. Ajax started to work even harder now at pleasing you. He worked even faster and moved his tongue even more as you started moving your hips against his mouth. He was giving you all you wanted, and he was going to do a good job at it. Ajax was having fun now. He kept up the motion as he heard you whine for more above him. He enjoyed this just as much as you did and could feel his cock harden each time a moan slipped past your lips.

Hearing a rough groan from in between your thighs as Ajax continued to move his tongue and fingers, feeling your legs start to shake as your head leaned back along with your eyes rolling back as you moaned his name loudly and then felt spasming and tightening around his fingers you came in his mouth. Hearing him groan again once the full feeling of wetness sunk into his mind and felt ten times hotter before slowly kissing up your body with wet kisses.

You gave a dazed smile up at him before lightly whispering out a soft thank you to him, Ajax smiled up at you and nodded in approval of how you spoke with him. Even the small phrase of “thank you Jax”, got to him since he was not used to hearing it this way. It was a phrase he never heard before, but it made him feel good. And to say that he had done the job well enough to get that phrase was a good feeling. You motioned him to come closer with your finger then let out a soft giggle at his eagerness, Ajax smiled at your gesture it was a look of excitement. He knew what you wanted and he was ready and willing to give it to you. He climbed on top of you in a matter of seconds, looking down into your eyes with a look of power and one of love.

Ajax smiled again, but it was the most predatory, lustful smile of the whole day. This was what he actually wanted out of you. You would answer his question. You would admit that you were his. "Tell me that I own you, Baby.” He said, staring deep into your eyes. This was his way of showing dominance. He couldn’t deny that this is what he really wanted you to say and he couldn’t wait to hear your words. No more games, no more playing. This was the real deal.

You smiled sweetly and let the desperate and needy feeling drop for only a quick moment to show him how much you meant your words, Pulling him closer as you placed a soft kiss on his lips before looking into his eyes as your lips brushed against his as you lightly whispered "you own me Ajax all of me".  Ajax breathed in a heavy sigh as you spoke those words to him. He had never felt this type of rush before in his entire life. The power that he felt was almost too much for him to handle. He kissed back, wanting more of your words. He wanted you to say it to him again.“More, more Baby! Tell me that I own you!” He said, his grip around your hips tightening. A voice deep inside him called out for more, asking for more of you.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders the moment he hovered above you nodding your head at his words, Kissing you softly on the lips as he started teasing your body before doing anything more which caused you to moan into the kiss and come out muffled before trying to move your hips with his as the pleasure overtook once more. "you own me Ajax only you I'm all yours from now until the end of time" You spoke lightly next to his ear as if it was a secret that only the both of you knew,  Ajax didn’t waste any time getting started. He began moving the two of you, going back and forth as he moved his own hips. He kissed you, but it was different. He began to do it more and more, showing more emotion and feeling in his kisses.

Ajax moved his hips along with yours. He was happy that you were enjoying all of this. He moved his hands to different places on your body, giving you more touches, and more feelings. slowing down only slightly so you could feel the slow drag of his cock before he quickened his pace once more loving how it felt with you around him like this, You started to moan loudly no longer caring if anyone had heard the moaning as your eyes rolled back in pure pleasure and lightly scratched your nails down his back especially as you felt his hand gently wrap around your throat as he spoke into your ear “Such a bad baby trying to let just anyone see you like this knowing this is all mine”.

Ajax got faster with his thrusts, letting his need for you overtake him. He was enjoying the feeling, and he knew that you were enjoying this as well. He felt a certain pride in himself. This was all for you, and he was going to give you everything you wanted, and more. Ajax could tell that he was doing something right, and he felt it inside of him. Instead of slowing down, he picked up the pace, doing his best to show you all that he had in him. He was hitting all the right spots, going all the way in, and teasing you just a little bit with every movement.

You noticed he kept going faster and faster in pace which seemed to not only drive you crazy with pleasure but him as well. He felt a rush that he had never felt before in his life before he met you. He kissed you, as hard as he could now. His mouth moved with an intensity that it never had before. His hips moved back and forth faster and faster, never intending to stop until you both were both pleased.

Ajax’s hands wrapped around your thighs, he held you in place as he sped up. He did the same motion over and over again with his own moans, not stopping for anything. He could tell there was a different type of enjoyment on your face now, as you had started to shake and squirm a lot more in excitement. You moaned his name loudly as he gripped your thighs only to thrust faster and harder, into you which made more pleasure pulse through her veins as she felt closer to tilting over the edge and moaned again and spoke with a heavy tremble in her voice "I'm close Jax please".

Ajax didn’t respond with words this time, instead responding with movement. He continued to speed his movements up, the shaking your body was doing from pleasure almost getting to him. He kissed you again, harder than ever now. He wasn’t going to stop this time, he was too close. “I’ll get you there. Take it all for me. Take it all.” He rasped out next to your ear, Ajax smiled and was breathing heavily now. He felt as though he could go on and on, but he knew that you were close as well reaching down to rub at your clit and grinned as you bit louder for him. “Hold on a little bit longer, Angel. Your close, so am I. ”He held out a bit longer, and then spoke again.“I’m getting there, Baby”.

You pulled him closer as your eyes shut tightly from the pleasure and groaned out loud it felt like it was too much and you knew you couldn't hold it much longer, softly panting and placed your head in the crook of his neck kissing the hot and sweaty skin before throwing your head back with a loud moan of his name and came once you knew you could. Ajax’s eyes opened wide as he heard you moan out his name and throw your head back. He didn’t know what else he could do in that position. He felt your body tense and start to shake in his grip before you let out a loud moan of ecstasy and finished. He didn’t last much longer than you, and he finished as he felt and heard your climax thinking that was the greatest thing to have ever get off to.

You groaned out again as you felt his warm cum inside of you as he continued to move his hips just so it was deep inside of you, softly panting again as you threw your arms lazily over his shoulders and could barely keep your eyes open as you tried to look up at him and gave him a dazed smile "Now that was perfect other then I'm probably not gonna be able to walk now". Ajax put all his energy into holding himself above you so that you didn’t have to hold yourself up. He smiled back down at you with your face still in the crook of his neck “Well I’m glad that was good enough for you. And you don’t have to walk anytime soon. You can lay here for as long you want.” He laughed and gave your head a kiss.

Ajax started moving you both, to pick you up and sit you up so you weren’t laying back on the table anymore. He then began to rub your back, trying to provide enough of the aftercare you would need. Getting himself dressed before he helped gently pull your clothes back on before he lead you out of the library towards the boy's dorms where he would help you clean up and then cuddle in his bed for the rest of the night.

[hikarry]

So, while I was sick I was cooking up some ideas so let me throw this imagine at you. I won't be as nice as the others because jello brain, but follow me!

After Season 3, like, way way way after. 30 years after, perhaps. Let's pretend Crowley and Aziraphale didn't destroy Heaven and Hell or turned (argh) humans and that Gabriel is having his happily ever after with Beez, yes? Crowley and Aziraphale are living in the South Downs, Muriel is taking care of the bookshop and Michael is the new supreme archangel, yes? Fantastic. Let's go.

So, Aziraphale is in the workshop working on some book and Crowley is yelling at his plants outside the window when someone calls. Crowley quickly lifts his head and looks at Aziraphale through the window. The angel just waves his hand and goes to the living room where his old phone still is. It was Muriel, once again asking for help.

"Of course, dear. I'll be there in a jiffy." He answers, as per usual. "Crowley, my dear?"

"Yes, angel?" He yells from the garden.

"Can you take a quick break and take me to the bookshop?"

"Argh. You have a bloody license."

"...Do you...want me to drive her?"

"...Gimme a minute!"

It's just the time for Crowley to clean himself and fix his hair (took longer than he would ever admit. Aziraphale was expecting it), and off they went, back to Soho.

"Will you come in, dear?"

"Nah. With luck, it's the same problem as last time and it will take you both hours. I'll make a reservation at the Ritz, go to that bakery you like and-"

"Oh, yes! Please buy some-"

"Chocolate croissants, I know. Anyway, I might pass by the plant nursery and then I'll come back. It takes me a maximum of half an hour. Would you like something to drink?"

"No, love." He leans over and kisses Crowley on the cheek. "I believe Muriel has a lot of tea inside. Mind how you go."

Crowley nods and gives him a quick kiss before Aziraphale leaves the car.

Once inside, with Crowley gone, the bookshop was darker than he expected.

"Muriel?"

He took a couple more steps when the bookshop's doors closed with a burst of wind and the unforgettable smell of ozone invaded, right before Michael, Muriel, Uriel and Sandalphon appeared in front of him. Muriel looked terrorized. Aziraphale tried to move in their direction but found his hand hit against an invisible wall. A trap, really? He opened his mouth to talk, but after Uriel snapped her fingers he fell unconscious.

Aziraphale woke up in some sort of old building. He was laying on the floor and his head hurt considerably. He tried to move his hands to try and help himself to his feet, but felt a sharp pain on his wrists.

Right.

Demonic handcuffs.

Original.

By that logic, he couldn't touch any of his power or call for his wings.

Great. So stay on the floor he would.

Bellow him there was an angel trap, with his sigil on it. Which made this much more complicated indeed.

Aziraphale managed to get on his knees and finally saw a window on the other wall in front of him. From this perspective, he was surely not on the first floor. He started banging with his chains on the invisible wall in front of him. It wouldn't do anything, obviously, but he would be damned if he just stayed there doing nothing.

Putting demonic chains on him was a low low blow, even for them.

After a while he started getting tired and sat back on his legs, sighing

"Mr. Fell?" A whisper came from the closed door.

"Muriel?"

"Yes. It is me. I'm so so so so sorry I tricked you. I tried to say no but...the supreme archangel asked. Are you...alright?"

"It's alright, dear. I'm...fine, considering."

"The supreme archangel is infuriated. She yelled at everyone and said that she would punish you at nightfall. I'll try to get some help."

"No, don't do that! They will punish you if they find out! I can handle them!"

"After I let them take you like that? I can't. I'm sorry, Mr. Fell. I feel too guilty. I need to help you."

"...How long have I been gone from the bookshop?"

"...3 hours, I believe."

Aziraphale took a deep breath.

"Right. Crowley is probably panicking flying around like a blind eagle. If you can get to a phone, try to reach him. If not, run. Go to Nina and Maggie's or to our house, alright, dear? Don't let them catch you. Don't get in trouble."

It was less than 2 hours when the doors opened. The first to walk in was Michael, followed by her two minions.

"Very well, Aziraphale. Are you prepared to return to Heaven?" Michael said.

Aziraphale chuckled.

"You must have lost your mind, certainly. Crowley and I made sure you all would leave us alone. So-"

"That's because we didn't have other choice." Uriel interrupted. "Now we have the Programmer." Aziraphale raised an eyebrow in confusion. "We can reprogram other angels to their original position and manipulate their memories."

Aziraphale got to his feet and flinched back. Now, that wouldn't do.

"We have already lost Gabriel, Metraton. We need you back. Especially away from that demon pet of yours. You're too powerful together, as shown by the way you almost blasted the whole of Heaven."

"And the machine is running, ready for you-" Sandalphon entering the circle, and held him by the arm. "-my dear." A fist was raised, but before it could collapse into its target, there was a very loud screech outside.

The angels looked amongst themselves and Sandalphon left to check on all the noise with Michael.

They listened to multiple voices outside. They were speaking so loud none was really distinguishable.

"You are going, not even if I have to take you myself!"

Uriel crossed the circle, making the lil mistake of erasing a part of the circle with her shoe. Enough to let Aziraphale go. He stepped out of the circle, but Uriel followed him, grabbing him by the lapels and pushing him against the window, that broke against his elbows and back.

Now the voices were more clear, and one of them was, without mistake, Crowley. He took a quick peek outside and there he was, fighting both the archangels.

Right. He had to get a wiggle one.

"I'm sorry, dear girl." He swung the chains towards Uriel and she fell to the floor, sluggish.

Quickly, he turned around and looked down. He was on the third floor with two archangels and a demon blocking the exit.

"Crowley!" The demon's head snapped up in between the confusion that was him and the archangels.

Aziraphale climbed on the window and sat on it. He still couldn't use his wings so all he could hope for was Crowley's pristine timing. With his eyes closed, he took a final last breath and leapt out of the window. Within seconds he felt arms holding him and the unmistakable sounds of wings flapping.

"Are you insane?! You could have been discorporated! What would have happened if I didn't catch you, eh?! There's no other corporation, angel! You have to stop-" Aziraphale giggled, wrapping his arms around Crowley's neck, trying to get in a better position. "What?"

"Thank you for the timely rescue. Again."

"Why are you laughing? This isn't a laughing matter! I'm gonna kill those-"

"Crowley." The angel put his hands on his face, forcing him to slow down and face him. "Let's just go home, yes, my dear? There's a lot to discuss and I need a cup of tea for that." Crowley took a deep breath and smiled down at the angel. "Muriel found you?"

"Yes, they called. I told them to go to the cottage and stay put. I came as fast as I could but they literally dragged you to the middle of nowhere."

"Oh!" Aziraphale looked over Crowley's shoulder. "What about the Bentley?"

Crowley laughed, looking in front once again and picking up speed.

"She's on her way back home, obviously. She ran as soon as I caught you."

Of course she was. Why was he even surprised, he thought with a chuckle.

[lowkeyerror]

Her First & Her Future pt 2

Maddy Perez x Reader

Word Count:2.3k

Warnings: Angst, underaged drinking

Summary: Maddy dances with Y/n at winter formal, claiming to be over Nate. However he ends up with an invite to her birthday party which has Y/n thinking differently.

Pt.1 Pt.3 Pt.4

Masterlist

Y/n had to distance herself from whatever was happening between Maddy and Nate. It was messy enough and she refused to add another layer to it.

Instead she took time to focus on her sobriety, trying her best to quit smoking so much weed. With Lexi's support it wasn't too hard.

By winter formal she was back to only smoking a few times a month, rather than every day. This time it's Lexi who is slightly intoxicated as they make their way to the prom, having pre-gamed with her sister.

Y/n felt pretty good about herself going into prom. She looked good, she felt good, she was going to have a good time. That was all true even when she did catch a glimpse of Nate and Maddy.

They weren't together. Nate went with some girl to make Maddy jealous, but it wasn't the smartest move. In her heart Maddy was a free spirit so she didn't have any problem finding other guys to dance with her.

Y/n couldn't deny the girl looked good as she sipped her drink. It was almost like the thought summoned the girl over to Y/n.

" You wanna dance with me?"

Y/n glanced at her brother who was watching the interaction intensely," Is it for him?"

Maddy looked in Nate's direction, but he had already removed his attention. She looked back Y/n, eyes shining like they used to," No, this is just for me."

Y/n sat her drink on the table and took the other girl's hand. They had picked the perfect moment as a slow song had just begun.

The pair swayed together. Y/n's hand was relaxed in the middle of Maddy's back, while the shorter girl's hands were on Y/n's shoulders.

" You look good," Maddy spoke first.

" I could say the same about you."

Maddy's eyes met Y/n's," Did you come here with anyone?"

" Just Lexi."

Y/n could see Maddy's face frown up at the mention of the youngest Howard. It made her laugh in a way she couldn't hide it," I still can't believe you're so jealous of her."

Maddy rolls her eyes," How can I not be when she has you?"

Y/n's laughter dies down," She doesn't have me. She's my best friend. If it helps your ego, you're the only one who has ever had me."

Maddy squints her eyes," Really?"

" Really. You're hard to replace, Maddy. Not even a fat blunt, could make me feel as high as you did."

That causes the girl to chuckle," So no more getting high every day?"

" I'm afraid not. Just not that sad anymore."

When the song is over the two of them are reluctant to pull away, but they do. Maddy looks over to where Nate was before and this time he is looking at her.

" I think I'm going to break up with him."

Y/n tilts her head to the side," I thought you were off right now?"

Maddy shakes her head," No like for good this time. Like on some Taylor Swift we are never ever getting back together type shit."

" Oh"

Everything slows down a little for Y/n. Maddy leans in and places a lingering kiss on Y/n's cheek. " I'mma get you back."

With that Maddy leaves the girl on the dance floor. She chases after Nate for what Y/n truly thinks may be the last time. It makes her smile.

True to her word, Maddy calls it off with Nate. He takes it surprisingly well and for a while everything is calm.

Lexi is even able to convince Y/n to tag along when she is forced to hang out with her sister's friend's. She used to leave Lexi to the wolves because of the weird circumstances between herself and Maddy, but Y/n had let it go.

The thing about that group is that in Y/n's eyes they were all toxic when they were together. From the outsiders perspective it was easy to see all of the lying and treachery between the friends.

Y/n didn't know just how toxic they were until they kept asking Maddy if she would get back with Nate. Though the girl refused every time, Y/n could see that each time they asked Maddy got more uncertain of herself.

The night of Maddy's birthday party, the calm is over. That night Nate knocks on Y/n's bedroom door.

" Maddy invited me to her party."

Y/n stared blankly at the boy. She knew he wasn't lying. She had honestly seen this coming.

" Ok, what does that have to do with me?"

He took a deep breath," Can we ride together?"

" Fine, let's go."

Y/n was irritated, but if Maddy wanted him there there wasn't anything she could do about it.

The relationship between Y/n and Nate was strange. It wasn't obvious, but they cared about each other. Y/n didn't stop Fez from beating the shit out of Nate, but she checked on him at the hospital afterwards.

Nate didn't loudly support his sister's sexuality, but he threatened anyone who talked about it. They were in a quiet way protective of each other. However there was also jealousy, envy, and hate plaguing their relationship.

Nate envied Y/n for being unapologetically herself. Y/n hated Nate for pretending to fit into this golden boy role. They were both jealous of the relationship the other had with Maddy.

Nate knew vaguely about Y/n's relationship with Maddy. He didn't know all the details but he knew something was there. When he found himself also wanting Maddy, he took her from Y/n. He thought that Maddy would make him feel special like she did for Y/n.

He was right.

Maddy was special, that's why he needed her more than Y/n did. At least that's what he'd tell himself when he felt bad for what he had done. The sad part was that Nate knew Maddy still had something for his sister. He knew about all the calls, texts, and voicemails that she'd leave for Y/n.

He knew his sister never responded. Part of him wondered why? If Y/n wanted Maddy so bad, she should've done anything it took to get her. Including going behind his back because that's exactly what he did to her.

That's where the two were different.

Y/n wouldn't have gotten any pleasure from making Nate suffer. It wasn't her style. She could tell that the boy was already torturing himself enough.

Nate wasn't good with his emotions like Y/n was. So she was aware that any negative emotion going on in her brother's body was akin to rage.

When they pull up at the party Y/n turns to her brother," Don't ruin this for her."

He nods before getting out of the car. Y/n trails behind him, not having a good feeling about the night at all.

She was right. There was something weird going on with Cassie. Instead of leaving Lexi to watch her by herself, Y/n volunteered her services.

She watched as the blonde downed drink after drink after drink. The way she moved on the dance floor could only be described as drunk and desperate.

" Cassie, why don't you relax a bit," Y/n said to the girl.

Cassie turned her attention to Y/n and began to dance on the girl. Her back to Y/n's front, arms snaked behind the girls neck.

" Look at them."

Y/n followed Cassie's eyes to Nate and Maddy at the pool. They were talking as if everything was normal, as if they were on again.

" What about them?"

Cassie's drunken laughter echoes in Y/n's ear," You hate them, I know it."

Y/n turns the girl around so that they're facing each other," What are you talking about?"

Her hands slid down Y/n's body. Her words slur as she talks," Maddy... is my best friend. I know everything about you're fucked up triangle. I know you hate them."

Y/n glance at the pair in the hot tub. She finds them staring back at her. Her eyes meet Cassie's.

" I think you're the one who hates them. I just don't get why."

The blonde stops dancing. She staggers her way away from Y/n and towards the hot tub. Y/n watches the scene unfold from a distance, trying to get the full picture.

Cassie nearly slips into the pool right besides Nate. Y/n could see the tension from where she stood. It looked like Maddy picked up on it too. There was something weird going on between Cassie and Nate.

The wheels were spinning in Y/n's mind, but they stopped once she saw Cassie throw up in the pool.

" Oh shit," Y/n says it to herself as she rushes outside.

Cassie wont stop crying and saying sorry to Maddy. Suze attempts to get her out of the pool, but Y/n is the one to pull her out.

She scoops up the blonde girl, not caring about her clothes at this point.

" Could you take her to her room please?"

Y/n catches a glimpse at Lexi through the kitchen window. She then looks at Maddy who is already looking at her. For a minute, time stands still.

She carries Cassie in her arms, right past Maddy.

" Nate, get me a fucking towel!"

When Y/n walks up the steps with the girl in her arms, she catches a glimpse of her brother. Cassie sees him and for a minute Y/n swears the blonde reaches out to him, but he doesn't stop.

Y/n has no idea what to do when she gets to Cassie's room. Luckily Suze and Lexi aren't far behind her.

" Just sit her right there, we've got it from here sweetheart."

Y/n does as Suze says and gives Lexi an apologetic look before exiting the room. When she makes it down the stairs she has a perfect view of Nate and Maddy wrapped up in their towels.

She rolls her eyes before making her way to the car. She digs in the trunk for an extra shirt .Her shirt is covered in a mixture of water and vomit from Cassie.

When she finds a shirt, she pulls the wet one over her head. Leaving her momentarily shirtless.

" Here," the voice grabs her attention. It's Maddy with a towel in her hand," I thought you'd maybe want to dry off.

Y/n take the towel graciously," Thanks."

No one speaks until Y/n dries off and slips her clean shirt on.

" I didn't know you and Cassie were close."

Y/n let out a sigh," You want to do this now?"

" What I'm just asking a question?"

" No, you're trying to start something. I'm not into Cassie and I'm not into Lexi. You know who I'm into, so why even play these games with me Maddy?"

" Well, what am I supposed to say when she's dancing all over you like that and you're carrying her upstairs like you're her prince charming or something?"

Y/n's voice rasps as she speaks," What do you want from me Madeleine? I'm the victim here. You've hurt me time and time again yet here I am, on your side as always."

" I didn't ask you to wait for me or anything. You're free to do whatever the fuck you want."

Y/n chuckles," Really, Maddy? Everytime I'm even close to another girl, you're on my head like you're my girlfriend or something. "

" You used to like that about me," she says lowly.

The hostility drops from Y/n's voice," I loved that about you, but that was when it was just us. You were mine and I was yours and that was it. It wasn't complicated or messy. Not too long ago you said you wanted me back, but now you're comfortable with Nate, again. I'm tired of this Maddy. I can't keep getting hurt."

Y/n tries to walk away but Maddy lightly grabs her wrist. She tugs the Jacobs girl close to her. Y/n won't look her in the eyes.

" I don't want him. I don't love him. I don't need him, but fuck Y/n. I need you so bad that it scares me. It brings out this side of me that I can't fucking stand."

" Maddy-"

Maddy cuts her off," Let me finish. I stayed with him so long because I felt like I deserved it. I deserved him because of what I did to you. No one has ever treated me like you did. I've never felt love like yours and I fucked it up."

" No one deserves abuse," Y/n finally catches her eyes.

Maddy falters," I get that now. I feel like I don't deserve you, Y/n. I don't think I ever did, but I want you."

" Maddy-"

The girl interrupts Y/n again," I'll wait Y/n, it's only fair right."

Y/n's finger reaches for Maddy's chin. She lightly tilts the girl's head up.

" I won't make you wait too long."

Y/n presses an innocent peck on the other girl's lips. Maddy closes her eyes at the brief contact.

Y/n doesn't say anything else, just climbs into the car. She sends Nate a text telling him to come on. Her brother is already standing at the front door. He had witnessed everything that unfolded between the two girls.

His attitude was apparent as he stormed out of the house. He slammed the car door behind him when he climbed in.

" Y/n, Maddy is just al-"

" You had your time, Nate. Despite how I felt. I'm going to have my time regardless of how you feel. "

He was quiet after that.

This should've been the end for their love triangle. Maddy had finally made her choice. However there was more to be discovered; it wasn't a triangle at all. The only ones who knew that were Nate and Cassie.

At least that's how they planned for it to be.