#from beginning to end

[zanephillips]

Do Começo ao Fim (2009) dir. Aluizio Abranches

[respectthepetty]

In the context of Happy of the End's seventh and eighth episode, it makes sense that Chihiro is being lit up by the car's headlights as he awaits whatever punishment Maya has in store for him, but narratively, it's a beautiful reminder that even in the darkest moment, Chihiro is still light.

When he gets out of the situation thanks to some stray, but persistent, observers, he is still bright in the hospital bed although he is bruised, beaten, and rattled.

Because the one who is truly bothered by all of this is Black Brooder Haoran.

He blames himself for what has happened, and no matter how light Chihiro is, Haoran believes that his dark past will hurt Chihiro, and this incident has not only escalated his fears, but proven that the darkness has already gotten to Chihiro.

Chihiro's cracked arm is a constant reminder of this. It's nestled safely in its black sling, but that black is a visual indicator that Haoran's dark life is no longer in the past, but is alive in the present and harming Chihiro.

So while Chihiro stands in the light unaware of what's taking shape in Haoran,

Haoran isolates and moves back into the darkness.

Because to him, Chihiro will always be light.

And he and his dark past are the problem.

Chihiro continues to prove that he has never seen Haoran this way, and even when confronted with Haoran's troubles, time and time again, Chihiro has embraced them with love and light.

So they run away together. They venture around the beach on a sunny day. They align their colors in the best way they know how with Chihiro still light, and Haoran still dark.

But, that's the point. Haoran is still dark. He still thinks he is the problem. He is the one tainting Chihiro. He is the one who brings darkness wherever he goes and Chihiro would be light and bright without him. So he walks into the dark water, yet Chihiro drags him back.

And that's when Haoran makes one final attempt to rid Chihiro of his darkness. It's not that he tells Chihiro to leave him. It's that Haoran tells him that he is turning himself in. Since Chihiro won't stay away from Haoran, Haoran will do what he does best. Isolate, lock himself away, and cage himself up just like he was taught to do with a piece of luggage all those years ago.

Because Chihiro will be much lighter without him. He will be bright and happy. And we see that three years, Haoran was right.

But it's not because Haoran is no longer in Chihiro's life. Haoran is still very much part of Chihiro's life in the friends Chihiro still has and the people who help him. Chihiro never had this before. His family disowned him. He had no friends. But, now, because of Haoran, he has people he can depend on.

When Haoran is released from prison, he is lighter, but immediately walks into the darkness. Unlike the other times, we clearly see the light at the end. He won't stay in this darkness for long.

The black and darkness will always be there, but he will sit in the sun, and he will be lighter.

He will go for walks. He will be the light he needs.

So when he sees Chihiro and breaks down, he will believe the decision he made was right because Chihiro is fulfilling all his dreams without the darkness that was Haoran's life.

Which is why I loved that the shirt Chihiro wears is grey.

Which, once again, shows that Chihiro carries Haoran with him in everything he does.

Chihiro has accomplished his goals, but it's not because he doesn't have Haoran with him. It's because he always has Haoran with him. In the places they have gone together.

And the places they lived together. There are little glimpses of their life together in Chihiro's photography because without Haoran, Chihiro wouldn't be alive. Chihiro wouldn't have a reason to live. Chihiro wouldn't have a life filled with people who care about him and a job he once believed he was never meant for.

So it's important that Haoran comes face-to-(covered) face with himself before he sees Chihiro because it's important that he sees himself in Chihiro's life, and that he sees himself in Chihiro. Because there in the white frame is the light of Chihiro's life.

So even though Chihiro is in a white jacket with a blue shirt,

And Haoran is in black, he proudly wears the blue scarf Chihiro gave him to match him just like their last day together.

And he allows his picture to be taken.

Because Haoran finally understands that he never darkened Chihiro's world, and Chihiro's huge smile when he sees him proves it.

Haoran, even with all his darkness, was the happiest part of Chihiro's miserable existence. Haoran was the bright spot in Chihiro's life when he needed it most. Haoran is light, and when he picked Chihiro out of the trash, he changed Chihiro's entire life.

These color-coded boys in love get a happy ending because they showed that no matter how much darkness exists, there is always light.

And they were each other's light.

[mediumgayitalian]

i cant draw but i can paint a scene. enjoy.

[dawnrider]

You can blame thank @brain-rot-hour for motivating a speed-run on this chapter. You'll know why when you get there.

Another chapter of From Beginning to End, in which we start to wrap up loose ends...

Chapter 25 on AO3

[liesmultixxx]

𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

[earththings]

[junopede]

Y’ALL. Episode 34 is running around in my brain like a cat at two in the morning I’m going INSANE

HARLAN

[loversofthegrave]

So I feel like it's my duty as a wincest blog to share with you this movie I watched a couple of years ago. I went through a phase of watching loads of foreign gay movies I could find online lol and I came across this one called 'From Beginning To End' and it follows the story of two half brothers growing up in Brazil with their parents.

Firstly, it's actually a really beautiful precious movie and it's such an interesting topic with it being about incest because it's so taboo but the way the movie goes about it actually makes you very compassionate towards the situation, it's a complex topic of course. I don't condone incest in day to day life despite being a wincest supporter but it's interesting nonetheless. Humans are very multilayered and things aren't always black & white.

Secondly the parallels between these brothers and Sam & Dean are unmatched, it starts from their childhood and the elder brother is pretty much the youngest's caretaker, he lulls him to sleep, protects him by getting into fights, is always so proud of him. The difference is that their parents are more present but their take on the difficult situation is very beautiful really, seen here:

After their mum passes and they are grown up they begin an intimate relationship, they are forever and eternally entranced, in love and obsessed with one another to a hyper codependent state. The youngest brother is a swimmer and he's been awarded to train in Russia for the Olympics which means he will have to part from his big brother for the first time in his life. They are both very distraught by this but the big brother doesn't want him to miss out on opportunities so he goes.

The older brother is completely and utterly lost without him, he delves into partying, drinking, even tries hooking up with a girl but he can't do it. He just wants his little brother.

Overall if you're a wincest fan I think this movie will be like watching them unfold onscreen, there's so many parallels.

I found a link with English subtitles here X

Enjoy!!

[veryslowreader]

Letters from a Seducer by Hilda Hilst

From Beginning to End

[thectower]

Film Review #23: From Beginning to End

From the surrealist mind of Greg Ivan, From Beginning To End, follows the life of Kegan Stanley, a penniless writer from New York who is struggling to raise a family and overcome cycles of family abuse. 

The film looks closely at the events of Kegan’s life, the relationship he shares with his father and eventually his son. But what gives this film its edge is the fact that the same actor portrays all three men. What’s more, that actor is Ivan himself. Alongside him is silver screen star Pamela Nondlecomp who’s role contrast’s Ivan’s, playing Kegan’s sister, mother, best friend, lost lover, wife and eventual nurse. 

The surrealist masterpiece aims to reframe our understanding of the people around us. As we watch, we are confronted by answers we may not like to questions we can’t help but ask: Who are we? Who will we become? What is everyone thinking?

The film expertly misdirects its audience, as we are first led to believe that Ivan is only portraying Howard, Kagan’s father. But as we follow the life of this young boy, we begin to notice the similarities the two characters share. 

This misdirection is executed perfectly and isn't fully revealed until the end of the second act, as Kegan waits for his son to be born. What follows is a shot for shot recreation of the opening scene, of Kegan's birth, but now from his father's perspective.

From this point onward, all scenes are recreations of scenes the audience is already familiar with, but told from Howard's perspective. Suddenly the fear we've had towards him is recontextualised.

But this perspective shift could not be done without the support of Nondlecomp and the many roles she portrays. The actress has gone above and beyond to instill in her characters distinction while still making each feel eerily familiar: her absent stare as Kegan’s mother, her joyful disposition as his sister, and the lurking sense of familiarity we feel as she portrays Kegan’s wife. 

This strange tone is a mainstay in Ivan’s filmography with many of his works serving as grounded observations emphasised with surrealist imagery, and this film seeks out to pay homage to many of those past works. 

His first film, To Wring One’s Own Neck, is where we see him begin to explore ideas of duality and personhood. Culminating in a focused, but almost conservative, film about what it means to be a person.

His follow up film, Who Likes to Talk to the Universe, really leans into its surrealist elements. In both films, small mistakes by children are met with abuse in public spaces. In the basketball game scene, as the stands catch fire and Howard remains unscathed, the wreath of flames around him both isolates and embolden him.

Ivan's penultimate film, Tour, brought us back down to earth. A film which sought to master the mistakes of his youth, but ended up robbing the film of its charm and personality. And it is with regret I say similar problems arise in the final act of From Beginning to End. 

I would be remiss not to acknowledge the strange release this film had. It was four weeks after the director's death, that his daughter, Dee Ivan, teased the film on twitter. 

The world was abuzz with fascination at the idea of a posthumous release from such a unique director, with parallels being drawn between it and John Malkovich' film's 100 Years. A film which is not set to be released until 2115.

In an official statement released by the family of Greg Ivan, they said: “Greg was many things. A father. A brother. A friend. But more than anything else, he was a filmmaker. He spent every waking hour of his life making films. What we have released today is the culmination of a lifetime of work, filmed and edited from the day he could hold a camera to that day he died in his apartment. A number of small edits have been made after his passing to help complete the film, but we know he would want the world to see it.”

It is here where we can truly understand the film. When we see a 5 year old Kegan, we are seeing a 5 year old Greg Ivan. When we see a haggard and abusive 32 year old Howard, we are seeing a 32 year old Greg Ivan. When we see the father and son refuse to make peace in the final hours of Howard's life, we are seeing Ivan's unresolved problems, not only with his father's death, but his own.

What's more, we see how he has grown as a director. Scenes shot in his youth are old and grainy, poorly shot and badly acted. But the film intermingles these moments with shoots taken much later in his life, in such a way that Kegan and Howard naturally contrast each other. Howard is more capable than Kegan, and we see that not only through their choices, but also reflected in the capability of Ivan at the time each scene was shot. 

So when Kegan first raises his fist to his son, you really do feel the weight of every moment which came before.

In a sense, this film represents all of who Ivan is. It is his alpha and omega; his beginning and end; his first film, and his last film. He took us, not on any journey of self discovery, but on his. One of navigating life, meaning and relationships. One of defiance and return. One that reminds us that, despite what we might believe, we are all on the same journey. 

10/10. Rest in peace Greg. 

[nostalgicatsea]

Help. What do you do when you have two viable directions a fic can go (which inevitably lead to two different endings) and you love both so much so you can't pick one over the other? 😩

[respectthepetty]

Thank you @isaksbestpillow for subbing this amazing show!

It now joins the other Japanese BLs about food (Old Fashion Cupcake, Our Dining Table, What Did You Eat Yesterday?) that are almost near perfect from beginning to end, and without your subs, I wouldn't have had the pleasure of experiencing it.

Appreciate it and you.

[child0feden]

once again crying solely because of how beautiful this album is… this album means so much to me, i hold this album so close to my heart… if you have never listened to it before, please do! it is a no skip album for me, i adore it so much… i honestly hope i have some daniel lanois fans following me here that can understand my love for this album :(

[shipcestuous]

Must suggest From Beginning to End for (half) brother/brother incest, with a happy ending. I enjoyed the movie, but it’s a little light for the heavy topics it wants to discuss—still a sweet, enjoyable watch!

Thank you! I will make sure this post goes into the tag.

[dawnrider]

If only I didn't have to work for a living and could just write whatever I want whenever I wanted... This fic would probably be done already. ANYWAY. New chapter of From Beginning to End!

Chapter 15 on AO3

[thebennsofdallas]

No one asked me but Nandor and Guillermo were having sex ALL LAST SEASON.

Fellas is it gay to hold hands with your best friend/familiar/bodyguard while holding a stake to your neck and speaking in an ancient language to let them know you can’t live without them?

Because if it’s not then what the actual shit.