#from others and my brain immediately goes to how talented when I know how much work those ppl had to put into it to get to that level

[whalehouse1]

Hello imposter syndrome my old friend.

[hazard-haze]

Eddie and Volt headcanons (no player)

Soooooo

My brain has decided this shit is my new hyperifxation

And that these are my new comfort characters

But I heard that everyone was getting a hate ending with them and guess who got friendship with them first tryyyyyy! So uh, skill issue/j heres some headcanons for ya'll :)

-He doesn't do it often because he knows Eddie hates it, but Volt can 110% pick up Eddie and will abuse this power if he needs to

-Eddie is Volt's anger translator. It usually goes something like this:

Volt: "We are sorry you weren't satisfied with our service, but this is the best we can do and I'm going to have to ask you to leave now."

Eddie *passing by behind him*: "Pay your fucking tab and get out!"

-Volt cannot keep his hands still, he tries to play it off suave-ly (?) by just tapping his fingers and running his hand through his hair repeatedly but when he gets really excited or angry about something he will wave his hands with big, fast, eccentric gestures.

-Volt wears eyeliner, sometimes Eddie helps him put it on.

-Eddie is very talented at most things he does, fixing, building, mixing drinks (he can even do some tricks with shakers), and there's a plethora of odd things he's picked up throughout the years. However this makes him get pretty frustrated when things don't work out the first couple times he attempts something. While not the main reason, this is part of why he was so frustrated and irritable during most of his main plot. Volt sometimes has to remind him that it's okay to not have everything figured out immediately, or pull him from his work if he's starting to stress out or exhaust himself too much.

-On the topic of pulling Eddie from his work, that is a feat. Volt full well knows he can't just ask Eddie to take a break, usually he has to either ask him to do something easier as a favor, or blame the break on himself.

"Oh Eddie, I know your in the middle of something but could you wipe the bar down? I have no time before we open."

"Eddieeeee, I have no one to watch the new season of Cougar vs Cougar with! Would you take a break to and come watch it with me? Please! Just for a little bit! Just one episode!" (They got through like 2 1/2 before Eddie passed tf out)

-Oh yeah, Volt loves reality TV and Eddie pretends to not be at least a little invested.

-Eddie can draw. Volt cannot. Volt is very jealous of Eddie in this regard.

-Infodumpingggggggg. They infodump to one another without even realizing it, it is so much of how they communicate. They will ramble and bounce ideas off each other, mostly about the club but about other stuff too.

-On the flip side. They can also communicate by saying pretty much nothing, just through brief glances. I think it would partly be because they are literally split from the same thing but it's more in that way when you widen your eyes slightly at your bestie and that equates to like a full paragraph of text.

-Eddie is short af, Volt is tall af.

-Volt makes fun of Eddie for being short

-Like seriously ya know that audio that's like "I know we don't always see eye to eye" "that because your too short to do so"

-Eddie will get revenge. He can kick/punch really hard but he can also come up with some other very clever ways of revenge. Do not mess with the guy who has access to the tools.

-Neither of them really like just hard liquor. Volt likes sweeter drinks and Eddie likes quality craft beers. If either sees the other drinking something like scotch/whiskey they can usually assume somethings wrong.

-Volt has sooooo many ideas for the club, several of which are not exactly... possible. Eddie has to be the one to break the news to him that No Volt we can't break down the retaining wall of the bar and turn it into an inanimal fish tank. Why? Because without it the roof would collapse!

-Volt's love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation

-Eddie's love language is acts of service.

-Going deeper into that, Volt loves physical touch, as previously mentioned. Eddie however does not. But they make it work, Eddie can tell when Volt needs a hug or just to have someone next to him, Volt can tell when Eddie is getting overstimulated or just needs space.

-They both have their ears pierced. Volt did it for both of them.

-Eddie actually quite likes talking to people, I mean he's definitely tended the bar at some point, he just doesn't like talking to annoying people. He's sarcastic and his humor is a bit deadpan and he's more reserved, but he 100% can be very funny and hold conversations very well with patrons and even better with friends.

-That being said, bro does not chat while he works on maintenance. If anyone, including Volt, is working with him, he isn't saying shit unless its telling them what to do, or looking over their work. If someones lucky they get a "Good job."

-Neither have ever been a fan of the dark, but they especially would not be after the black out.

-They both hate silence, I mean they work in a night club, at this point it just feels unnatural.

-Kinda already mentioned this but Volt gets quiet angry and Eddie gets loud angry. If Volt goes silent, you know you fucked up. On the opposite end, it will sometimes be assumed that Eddie is mad because he's being quiet but that just how he is, if Eddie actually is properly yelling you know he's upset.

-Nerve damage babyyyyyy. It is all up Eddie's arms, contributes to why he's not super touchy because his arms get that awful pulling, itchy, pain when something touches them.

-Volt can get some nasty fatigue. The electricity fluctuates? Bro is immediately drained, head rush, migraine, the whole shabang.

-Not really headcanon but neither of them are good at admitting they need help or at accepting it when its offered.

-They both know each others triggers tho, and make sure to tell the other to rest when they need to. Neither take their own advice.

-Eddie hyperfocuses like crazy. If he sits down with his tools, something to fix and no one around he will not move from that spot for hours.

-Volt is always jumping from project to project, person to person, never slowing down. There's a lot to do in the breaker box and he is more than happy to juggle all of it.

-Both of them forget to sleep because of these facts. and eat (do they eat?). and talk to other things. and talk to each other. and-

-They would be cat people. Volt has definitely brought up getting an inanimal from Mateo but Eddie is always hesitant (even though he would 100% end up loving it to bits if they got one)

----

Ya'll I think I'm a loser. Instead of being out on a night off I am sitting in my bedroom writing headcanons about an actual breaker box in a dating sim that I'm not even attracted to, I just think their silly. What is my life T-T

[lylacynth13]

ok so this is really more of an observation post than an analysis post but whatever

Mizuki’s card in mafu6 got me thinking about the different duos in nightcord and how they interact with each other and I had a few realizations

The most obvious ones are knmf and mzen. Many aspects of one of their stories heavily revolve around the other: Kanade promising to save Mafuyu and Ena promising to wait for Mizuki. There’s a reason they’re two of the most popular nightcord ships (to my knowledge). The writing heavily pushes these groupings onto us and emphasizes their importance. Kanade and Mafuyu often act as foils to each other (their last names, their color scheme, etc.) and Mizuki and Ena have an undeniable connection, likely having to do with how much they have to converse with each other since they both work on the visual parts of Nightcord’s content. So yeah, we have these clear pairings but what about the rest?

Knen and mzmf aren’t emphasized as much I don’t think but the writing still makes sure these pairings are known. Kanade is always sure to praise Ena’s art and Ena reciprocates the positive attention. Mizuki and Mafuyu are also able to find solace in each other, seeing as both their stories revolve around identity and their true selves. It was Kanade’s music that saved Ena, and Mizuki’s advice that pushed Mafuyu into making a decision to save herself. There’s also the parallels with both Kanade and Ena making promises to Mafuyu and Mizuki respectively. There’s also Ena’s card in kana5 and Mizuki’s card in mafu6. Both cards show a clear connection between the two duos. That being said, there are two more pairings left.

I’ll be honest when I think of mfen my brain immediately goes “mommy issues meets daddy issues.” Jokes aside, there’s a clear connection between them. Both of them revolve around talent and being perceived as talented. In the beginning, Mafuyu was everything Ena wanted to be: talented, praised, seemingly able to do anything by barely putting in any effort. To Mafuyu, Ena was the opposite of her: emotional, seemingly irritable, unafraid to speak her mind. As they grew to know each other, this changes. Ena realizes how suffocating the pressure is for Mafuyu, and Mafuyu begins to develop an understanding of Ena’s thoughts and feelings. These two contrast each other well as foils, Mafuyu being seemingly talented and Ena having to work hard to be recognized for her achievements. It’s not as emphasized as the previous pairings I mentioned, but it’s still there.

Mizuki and Kanade I think are the hardest duo for me to talk about solely because I don’t. Think they have much content?? There’s kana1 which is instrumental (ha) to awakening some of Kanade's memories and allowing her to realize that she wants to help Mafuyu not for her own sake but for Mafuyu’s. Kanade’s music also helped save Mizuki and bring her out of a hard time. Mizuki states several times that she admires Kanade and thinks very highly of her which. Was kinda obvious since that’s a pretty universal opinion within niigo. Aside from that I’m not sure they have much else in terms of interactions. I keep thinking about their final kizuna rank “still distant” and what that means for their stories. It’s such a bittersweet title, and I wonder if that’s gonna particularly change any time soon.

With the way niigo events are going, it seems like Kanade and Mafuyu’s struggles are going to have to be confronted by Mizuki and Ena. Mizuena have had their arc and while I don’t think their issues are completely done with yet they’re definitely in a better spot to help kanamafu than they were before. My hope is they have Ena assist Mafuyu and Mizuki assist Kanade, just to balance out the duos some more and allow for fresh perspectives. Ena understands having a parent want to help but end up hurting, so I think she can help Mafuyu in that regard. Mizuki and Kanade is still a little difficult for me to think of, but I think Mizuki could recognize Kanade’s thing of self-isolation and the two could find solace in that. Either way I think Nightcord’s story is going in an interesting direction, so I’m excited to see what the rest of the sixth rotation will look like for them

[kikitata2]

I have never experienced this kind of psychological response to a fictional character before until I saw the 2024 remake of Nosferatu.

And that fictional character is, of course, none other than fucking Count Orlok himself.

Ever since I left the cinema after seeing the movie about a week ago, that dude’s been haunting my mind in a way that I find both intriguing and concerning. And I am aware now that stuff like the kind of gothic horror that Nosferatu (2024 vers) covers is supposed to arouse these kinds of feelings and thoughts. But even then, I think it’s intriguing to ponder on.

Because with the way this remake adapts Count Orlok, it brought up such a conflicting state in my mind and also with how I took him in as a character.

Like I know that he’s an individual who causes so much havoc and destruction in his wake - not only through bringing the plague onto the town of Wisborg, amongst other things, but especially with the way he seeps into Ellen’s life and lingers throughout. He’s an intimidating and dangerous figure whose presence immediately overwhelms the whole entire movie; even during moments when he’s not on screen.

Now all of that alone is already very daunting and scary. It’s quite clear from all this that Count Orlok is a being of literal menace.

But what the remake does that just makes it so much more terrifying in my experience is the fact that there’s also something darkly seductive and alluring about him. For me, it’s the way his eyes gaze and stare down at everything - the sharpness and darkness that they hold. And also with the way his deep voice booms whenever he speaks, as well as how his mere presence feels like it swallows everything around him wherever he goes.

The idea that there’s something even somewhat arousing about him is what makes me even more horrified by him. It brings a huge sense of shame and confusion when I can feel it bubbling up upon retrospect of watching the film. It’s an extremely perverted attraction that (to this day) makes my brain go haywire every-time I ruminate on it. It terrifies me.

But then again, that is just how I took in this aspect of the Nosferatu remake from my own personal lens and perspective.

I really do have to give massive praise to Bill Skarsgård for the way he portrayed the character. He’s a truly talented individual, and I think this film is where that talent truly shines in his portrayal as Count Orlok.

Anyways thanks for reading me pretentiously analysing my own feelings on a specific something hope you have a nice day-

[goodlucktai]

the way things change

tmnt 2007 word count: 2k post-movie / canon compliant b team & leo-centric

this was my main piece for the @turtlestogetherzine ! it was such a fun project that so many talented people came together on and if you haven’t already you should definitely check out everyone else’s AMAZING contributions !

title borrowed from rivers and roads by the head and the heart

read on ao3

x

Donnie and Mikey have always been something of a matching set. 

During their early years, they went everywhere together. Even when Mikey was at his most irritating and Donnie seemed two seconds away from disposing of him in brutal fashion—even though the two of them could be like night and day at the best of times—they were always on each other’s team first. 

Raph used to call them ‘the twins’ because they were both his younger brothers and they were both, in his own words, tag-teaming little twerps. The twin moniker caught on and even Splinter would use it occasionally. In the back of his mind, Leo still does.

Three weeks after the dust had settled over the remains of Winter Corp, he found himself thinking, Guess some things never change. 

“Donnie, a tablet at the breakfast table?” Leo asks dryly. “Really?” 

Blatant disregard like this for one of sensei’s longest-standing rules was usually much more Raph’s speed. 

Don pauses mid-scroll and thinks for a moment. 

“Mikey, what day is it?” he says eventually.

“It’s the eleventh, dude, you’re good,” is Mikey’s distracted reply. 

He’s making a game out of pouring as much cereal into his bowl as it will physically hold, which has amounted to a sizable mound of off-brand Lucky Charms. Leo is reluctantly curious to see what he’s going to do when he remembers he still needs to add milk. 

Donnie, for his part, immediately goes back to ignoring the rest of them as a whole. 

Raph puts his spoon down. “Explain what just happened.”

“It’s a prime number day,” Mikey says blithely, without looking up from the careful, exacting process of shaking another couple of marshmallow pieces out of the box. “Prime means primo screen-time.” 

Splinter is sipping his tea without refuting Mikey’s explanation, so that must be a thing now. Leo blinks, processing this. He can’t help remembering how it was before he went away, the strict ‘no electronics at the table’ policy, because mealtimes were family times. 

Raph directs his confusion down a different route. “Mike knows what prime numbers are? Since when?”

Donnie looks up from his tablet to angle a narrow look Raph’s way. His warm brown eyes are markedly cooler than before. He clearly didn’t appreciate the joke. 

He’s never been one to pick fights with his siblings. The Donatello Leo knows is a gentle soul, every bit as deadly as the rest of his family, but more inclined to mediate disputes than start one himself. 

So the last thing Leonardo expects is for him to take a page out of Raph’s book at eight in the morning. 

When Mikey starts tapping and humming, Leo can't help smiling a little. It’s a sound he missed in the jungle. 

“God, I can’t even hear myself think around here,” Raph grumbles. 

To Leo’s ears, it’s not unkind. Teasing, but good-natured. Leo knows what Raphael sounds like when he’s ticked off beyond all reason—when he’s angling for a fight and determined to get one, when he’ll say anything to get Leo to punch back—and this is very much not that. 

But something darts through Mikey’s expression that makes the big brother half of Leo’s brain sit up and pay attention. Donnie notices, too. 

“He has ADHD, asshole,” he snaps. “If it bothers you that much, put on some headphones or go away.”

The atmosphere changes on a dime. Splinter’s ears go up, whiskers slicked back. Raph looks as surprised as Leo feels.

“Donnie!” Leo says, more stunned than scolding. 

Donnie puts his tablet down, not quite hard enough to constitute a slam. “Are we really going to pretend that Mikey’s stimming is more annoying than listening to Raph when he’s in one of his moods?”

“Er, no.” Leo briefly looks to Splinter for guidance before he catches himself. “I mean—it’s just the way you said it.”

“The way I said it?” Donnie demands. 

“Dee, knock it off,” Mikey interjects unhappily. “You know I hate it when you guys put me in the middle.”

It pulls Donatello up short. He visibly grits his teeth, then bites out, “Can I be excused?” 

Splinter knows when to pick his battles. It’s a lesson all of his sons could stand to learn. 

“Take your plate, please,” the rat says. 

To Donnie’s credit, he doesn’t storm down the tunnel to the lab, even though it looks like he’d like to. The reinforced door shuts behind him with a decisive clang that rings through the lair. 

Leo feels wrong-footed by the entire exchange. Somehow, in the last three minutes, a comfortable family breakfast went entirely off the rails. 

Mikey isn’t humming anymore. The kitchen feels quieter than it should. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean—” Raph starts uncertainly. 

“Don’t be dumb, I know that,” Mikey says, not looking at anyone. He tips his dry cereal back into the box and then picks at his toast until he’s moved enough of it around that his plate appears halfway finished and he’s allowed to leave the table. 

He does so at a run, booking it to the lab. The door opens right up for him. It was locked the last time Leo tried it. 

And it’s locked the next time he tries it, too, half an hour later. 

“It’s me,” Leo calls, feeling a little foolish standing out in the hall. “Can I come in?”

Donnie’s voice answers immediately. “List the first ten prime numbers and I’ll think about it.”

Okay, this is Donnie with a grudge. Leo remembers enough of what that looks like to tread carefully. 

“I just want to talk,” he says. “Is Mikey okay?”

The door unlocks and Donnie rolls it open. He gives Leo an inscrutable look before he stands back to let him in. 

Mikey is parked in a huge bean bag chair in the corner, headphones on, drawing tablet propped against his knees. His ninja senses must have pinged when Leo walked in; he glances up right on cue and offers a hang-loose sign. Leo mirrors it, entirely because he knows it’ll make Mikey snicker. 

“He’s fine,” Donnie says unnecessarily, sitting down at his desk. “We look out for each other.” 

If that’s a jab, it’s a well-aimed one. 

“Yeah, I see that,” Leo says. “Look, I’m sorry if it sounded like I took Raph’s side back there. But you know that Raph doesn’t think Mikey’s stupid. He would be the first to break somebody’s jaw for implying that.”

“So that makes it okay to say whatever he wants to a neurodivergent teenager?” Don presses, eyes flashing. “But when I say something to Raph—”

Leo can feel himself losing his patience. “Donnie, come on. All I meant was that you shouldn’t pick fights when you know better.”

As soon as he says it he knows it’s the wrong thing to say. Donnie spins his chair around to face the computer monitors, neatly severing his half of the conversation.

“Close the door behind you when you leave,” he says in a clipped tone. 

Across the room, Mikey is watching them with round eyes. He’s a few seconds from tossing his art aside and getting up to diffuse the fight. As much as he hates when his brothers put him in the middle, he has no problem putting himself there. 

It almost seems like Mikey isn’t sure if it’s safe to leave Donnie alone with this strange newcomer who looks a lot like the big brother who left them all behind. 

Leo breathes through the sharp pain that brings him and thinks, Fix this. 

He draws another chair over and sits down. Donnie’s shoulders go stiff but he doesn’t react otherwise. 

“Sorry,” Leo says quietly. 

It takes a minute but eventually Donnie nods, brown eyes full and troubled. 

“Me too,” he replies. “I know I’m being difficult. I’m just—I feel so angry all the time.”

Donnie isn’t Raph. He never had any problem with Leo’s authority. He had his own parts to play on the team, parts he took pride in—doctor, scientist, engineer. He was relieved to hand back that mantle of leadership, to step back into his curated role, but that doesn’t mean everything just returns to the way it was.

Donatello still resents his big brothers for abandoning him, each in their own way. He’s still bitter about all the extra weight he had to carry, without thanks or credit. He’s been stuck in place for the last two years, no outlet, no time for himself, and nobody on his team but Mikey, the one person Donnie has always been directly responsible for and could never bring himself to burden. He picked up an I.T. job he hated and stuck with it for longer than he should have, because he wouldn’t know how to quit something halfway if his life depended on it. His typically strong relationship with Raph—one that Leo’s secretly envied since they were kids—soured and left him without their hothead’s support. He had to figure out how to be a grown-up at the tender age of sixteen. 

Then Leo came back, expecting everything to be exactly how he left it. 

Of course Donnie’s angry. It’s no wonder he’s picking fights left and right. 

“You’re not being difficult, Don,” Leo says immediately, wishing, not for the first time, that Splinter had never sent him away. “If you want to scream and throw things at me, I think that would probably be more than fair.”

“I don’t want to do any of that,” Donnie replies wryly. He swivels his chair slightly, facing Leo again. There’s something grudgingly hopeful about him now—Leo’s little brother, trying to remember how to put his faith in Leo’s hands. 

It’s such a precious thing to hold. Leo can’t screw this up again. 

“You’ve worked out a pretty solid system while I was gone,” he says, bumping Donnie’s shoulder with his fist. “Can you show me the ropes?”

Give Donnie a chance to teach and he shines. Sure enough, he brightens a little. 

“We help April with acquisitions for her antique store on Thursdays. Do you want to come?” 

Leo heard about that from April. Apparently it’s more of a game than a chore, a city-wide scavenger hunt. He was hoping for an invitation but he wasn’t expecting one. He feels himself smile. 

Mikey, who has clearly been listening in, lowers his headphones and asks, “All four of us?”

That brings Donnie up short. Leo jumps in. 

“I told Raph I wanted us to do a team-building exercise sometime soon, and he said he’d be down for anything, as long as you two promised to go easy on him.” 

That’s exactly what he said, too—only he’d added, gruffly affectionate, ‘those tag-teaming little twerps.’ 

“Sound good?” Leo asks them warmly. 

Mikey beams. Donnie’s disagreeable outer shell begins to soften. By some miracle, Leo still knows how to do this. Two years wasn’t enough to overshadow a lifetime. 

It’s a privilege to sit in the lab, watching Donnie bring up files on his latest project, listening attentively to engineering and mechanics that go clean over his head. Mikey joins them at the desk and shows Leo the digital painting he’s been working on, chattering energetically about watercolor and composition and the new brush he’s obsessed with. 

Raph wanders in some time later with an apology in hand—drinks from the twins’ favorite coffee shop. He probably left right after breakfast to be back already. 

Donnie smiles after the first sip. Raph must have got it exactly right.

Leo lets his tea warm his hands and soaks up their company the way regular turtles bask in sunlight. 

Donnie and Mikey built a house in the empty space their brothers left behind. The door isn’t always open, but Leo and Raph can always knock. Maybe they could even live there together someday, once they remember how to be on each other’s team. 

Until then, Leo is willing to put in the work. It’s what he’s always done. 

He’ll do whatever it takes to get back home. 

[wonnieluv]

Dancing With My Star

Yeonjun x f!reader DWTS AU

best friends to lovers

Summary: You are a professional on Dancing with the Stars and this season you’re paired with the charming and talented Choi Yeonjun who you may or may not have a past with.

Warnings: not really much romance but I’m thinking of a part 2 if anyone would be interested in that!

࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎

You are now standing in a dance studio anxiously awaiting your dance partner for the season. You’re a coach on the dancing competition show ‘Dancing With the Stars’ and today is the day you meet the celebrity you’ll be dancing with for a few months.

“That is if he’s any good” you think to yourself.

Your thoughts are interrupted with the door to the studio opening. You hear his voice first as he greats the staff, a shiver goes down your spine as the memories all come flashing back to you.

Choi Yeonjun was nothing short of your best friend. You two haven’t known each other for too long but after meeting at your dance studio, the two of you immediately hit it off. You two loved staying extra after classes and messing around, creating your own stupid choreographies with laughter bouncing off the studio walls until your parents had to drag you home.

“What if we never see each other again?” Your 9-year-old self asks with tears in your eyes as you watch your best friend get ready to move across the ocean. The sun was just barely rising as they had an early flight to catch.

“Don’t be silly” he laughs, not wanting you to know how sad he is “I’ll make sure to come back for you”

“Promise?” You ask through sniffles

“Pinky promise” he says as he interlocks his finger with yours.

“When you miss me look at the sky” he said. “When I come back to you I’ll appear when the sun sets since I’m leaving when the sun rises. I’m like the moon, but waaaaaaay cooler ofc”

And that made perfect sense in both of your little 9-year-old brains. You haven’t seen Yeonjun since he left the United States 16 years ago. You always had him in the back of your mind. Even as you grew up, made new friends, even got your first boyfriend, apart of you still waited for the day he returned to you. That is up until you found out he would be debuting in a Kpop group of course. That day you vowed that you’d always support him and his group but you’d give up on the thought of him coming back to you.

“Sometimes kids make promises they don’t realize can’t be kept.” Your mom would say.

“Y/n…?” His voice broke you out of your trance.

You smiled trying to recover from the initial shock you just went through

“It’s so nice to meet you” you say as you give him an awkward hug. “This season is gonna be so fun!”

He looks shocked, almost a slight pain laced in his expression as you pretend you don’t know him but it’s quickly wiped away as he follows along smiling fondly at you.

The rest of your initial meeting and practice went as smoothly as it could’ve gone. As soon as the camera crew left you to continue practicing on your own you quickly excused yourself to the bathroom.

You don’t know how much time you spent in there doing a mixture of panicking, splashing water on your face, and lightly slapping yourself but you realized you’d better get back to him soon otherwise you’ll start to seem suspicious.

As you enter the room you see him look up from whatever he was scrolling through on his phone

“Should we continue?” You ask lightly

“Mmm” he hums in agreement joining you to pick up where you left off.

The rest of the practice went smoothly and before you knew it the two of you were packing up to leave.

“Y/n” Yeonjun says just as you go to grab the door handle to exit the studio making you pause your actions.

“…I know it took me so long” he starts. Now facing you from the other side of the room. “…but I did keep my promise in the end… didn’t I?”

You were speechless. You had a feeling he remembered you but you thought he had forgotten about the promise he had made you that day.

“I don’t know what to say…” you say looking down at your shoes.

The silence was almost suffocating. Neither of you knowing exactly what to say.

“You know I used to sit on the steps once a week” you started finally gaining the courage to look at him. “I would watch the sun fall imagining that once it touched the horizon you’d be there running at me like you used to.” He stayed silent as you continued

“I would cry when it was cloudy because that meant you wouldn’t be coming back that day and I didn’t want to wait any longer.”

He doesn’t say anything as he crosses the room and pulls you into his embrace. You froze almost not expecting it. The light squeeze of his muscular arms around you made you come back to reality and reciprocate his embrace.

“I missed you stinky” you chuckled

“Moment ruined shithead” he lets go of you but not quite moving away.

“What are you doing here Yeonjun” you ask lightly looking him in the eyes.

“I had to find a way to see you and this was all I could think of” he sheepishly says as he scratches the back of his neck. “I thought it would be fun making up dances the ah we used to.” He stares back into your eyes something deeper there this time.

“I’d watch every episode, every YouTube video, TikTok, whatever” he starts. “I couldn’t believe you were all grown up. My little shithead dancing with guys that weren’t me. I couldn’t help but be jealous.” You almost blushed a bit. He was jealous you were dancing with other guys?

“Oh so now you had to dance with me on national TV to get a point a cross. You’re such a fucking beta” you snort

“You wound me y/n.” He clutches his chest as you push him off of you.

He moves back to go collect his stuff.

“Yeonjun…” you start

“Hmm?” He looks back at you.

“Movie night at my place” you say as you leave without giving him any time to say anything. Leaving the studio with your heart full excited for the months to come you know you’d be desperate this season so you can dance with him as much as possible.

࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎࿎

I kinda want to continue this since I felt it would be too much for just one post so I hope y’all like this ♡

[oddree13]

To Find a Kiss of Yours

[Read on AO3]

Steve remembers his first Valentine's Day. He was in first grade and spent the day prior decorating a shoebox to act as a makeshift mailbox. The next day the class had a party where all the cards were passed out, but throughout the gathering, girls came up to give him extra candy. One girl even kissed him on the cheek and ran off. 

Steve felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time that day and decided Valentine’s wasn’t all that bad. 

As the years went on, Steve looked forward to the holiday for reasons beyond extra candy. February 14 was used to fill the void of affection his parents were slowly taking from him.

And once Steve started middle school, and class-wide valentines were no longer mandatory, he realized the holiday was different for him than other boys. He’d get more cards and candy than some of his friends, and in seventh grade, a girl pulled Steve aside to let him know how much she liked him. Steve only knew the girl because they shared a couple of classes, but figured he should be polite and ask her out. After all, that is what all the boys around him would do. 

Years later Robin would unpack just how wrong this was to do. 

In short, Steve always looked forward to Valentine's Day and even kept a box under his bed where he kept his favorites - the standouts among the mass-printed, store-bought postcards that were delivered to Steve with a personal touch.

When he started Hawkins High a part of him was nervous that one of his steady sources of affection would dry up, but Steve found the exact opposite. The school encouraged the holiday by allowing students to send each other candy-grams and flowers throughout the day. Even among the students, there was a buzz. In the days leading up to V-day, photocopied maps of lockers would be passed around where people could write their friend’s name on it, in the hopes that it would encourage more personal gifts and confessions. 

In his four years at Hawkins High Steve’s name always made it on the map before he could write it. 

During his freshman year, Steve gets more than a few candy-grams in homeroom, prompting Tommy and Carol to tease him as they steal his candy. 

In between classes, he takes more trips than usual to his locker to collect the cards and notes left for him. Some are signed, some are just a phone number with a name and a lipstick print. Steve can’t help but get high off the constant reminders of want as the day goes on.

Needing to kill time before the bus towards Loch Nora arrives, Steve heads to his locker after basketball practice. Sure it could have waited until morning, but Steve’s never been a patient man. 

Inside his locker are a few more notes, but among the pink and pastels that have filled his vision all day, the crimson card stands out. He opens the front flap to find the card is actually an origami note, and not wanting to rip it, carefully unfolds the missive. 

His eyes are immediately pulled to the drawing at the bottom: a half-sun and half-moon face on a backdrop of stars. His eyes then wander up to the note to find not a letter, but a short poem - 

Some people say my love cannot be true Please believe me, my love, and I'll show you I will give you those things you thought unreal The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal

It takes Steve a few times to read it to get the gist of the meaning, and he can’t help but blush. Either the writer is talented or she copied someone. Either way, Steve knows this is making it into his special box. Before folding it back Steve’s eyes searched the page for a name or phone number, only to find a small “E” at the corner of the note. 

Steve spends the rest of the week wracking his brain for all the girls in his class and even the year above whose name starts with an E, even going so far as to approach a few of them. 

When he gets no answer other than a few dates he puts it out of his mind. 

*

Sophomore year is almost an identical repeat of the year before. Candygrams were delivered and stolen by Tommy and Carol. Notes stuffed in his locker, getting more lascivious as the day goes on. It seems his reputation preceded him, and there are more than a few propositions in letter form.

And just like the year before there is a crimson note waiting for him after practice. Steve wasn’t even anticipating the note, figuring it was a one-off from the year prior. But seeing it sitting on top of his books, Steve can’t help but ignore all the other letters and notes in favor of opening another message from E.

Like last time there’s a drawing, this time of a detailed headstone citing a kiss as the cause of death, the skull atop bearing a lip print. And just like the year before is a poem - 

To find a kiss of yours what would I give A kiss that strayed from your lips dead to love

Steve restarts his attempts to find E, only this time he goes for a more subtle approach, flirting with instead of confronting any girl whose name starts with the offending letter. 

It doesn’t end with Steve solving the mystery but does end with Steve going on dates with Elizabeth, Evelyn, Emily, and Erin. 

*

The Valentines of his junior year is an interesting one. Sure he’s been dating Nancy for almost three months now, but that doesn’t stop some very ambitious girls from sending candy and cards his way. He details each gift to Nancy as the day goes on because that's what a good boyfriend would do, right? And sure, he wishes Nancy would look more perturbed, but all he gets is small kisses on his cheek with her saying they can use the candy as dessert when she makes him dinner this weekend. 

The only thing Steve keeps to himself though is his hope for a third crimson note.

Sure Steve hasn’t gotten any luck with finding out who the sender is. And even if he did find out this year he couldn’t act on it. But there's something about the effort that Steve craves. That someone cares enough about Steve to write, draw, and fold the letter each year. 

And just like the years prior the note is there, drawing and all.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread from man or beast.   How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.   Admirer as I think I am Of stars that do not give a damn, I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly all day.   Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.

Not only is this year's poem longer, but the drawing also intrigues Steve. The picture is of a winged man, gazing up at the words written above him with an almost longing expression, while flames dance at his feet. Steve can’t help but examine the detail that went into the drawing, and even blushes at how handsome he is. 

So the next day when Nancy drags him to the library to study, he sneaks away to ask the librarian if she recognizes the poem (without showing her the note). She walks him over to the poetry section and hands him a collection of British poetry, turning to the section on W.H. Auden. 

Steve reads a brief description of the poem, about the unrequited love between the poet and the stars. He bitterly thinks that this love might not be unrequited if he could figure out who his secret admirer was. 

Years later Steve would realize two things - Indiana public school books didn't care to mention that W.H. Auden was gay and that he really should have looked at the checkout card inside the book cover.

* 

Steve contemplates staying home for the last Valentine's Day of his high school career. He's certain he won't get any grams now that he’s fallen from grace and taken no steps to climb back up. 

But despite how obnoxious sharing court with Hargrove is, basketball practice is the only thing keeping him sane as he counts down the days till graduation. 

Steve didn't even mean to go back to his locker that day not wanting to be disappointed by the lack of a crimson note. But he needs his notes to study for chemistry, and as he pulls out the binder the crimson letter falls to the floor. 

Steve can't help the way his heart clenches at the sight. How such a simple thing can remind him why he loves his holiday so much? 

He then figures that the sender. Must be someone in his grade if they've kept these notes coming all four years. 

Passing stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you, You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,) I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me , I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only, You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return, I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone, I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Steve sinks onto the floor as he reads the poem over and over again. He can't help but smirk at how the bits about girls are stricken through, but also that it's a farewell of sorts. It leaves Steve with a bittersweet feeling to know he'll never find out the sender's identity. 

* 

Over piles of discount candy in 1986, Steve shares with Robin the details of the crimson notes tucked under his bed. Robin can't help but laugh as she looks through them pointing out to Steve how fucking homo erotic all the poems are. 

After a bit of denial, Steve finally admits that Robin may be right and kicks himself for only searching for girls back when he was in high school. Realizing he didn't bother to get a copy of the yearbook he asks Robin if he can come one day to search the pages at her house for clues. But a few weeks later literal hell breaks loose and he forgets all about it

Part of Steve wishes he actually bothered to get a copy of the yearbook so he could search the pages, but a few weeks later literal hell breaks loose and he forgets all about it

*

It's February 1987 and Steve is wondering how he's spending Valentine's Day Eve cleaning up his kitchen after the party wraps their D&D session for the night. 

Eddie is helping him tidy as he recounts how on the ride over to Steve's, Dustin was explaining how nervous he was about his radio date with Suzie the next day wanting to do something special but not cheesy. 

“I told him he should recite some poetry and he told me that's lame,” Eddie says in a way that expresses their mutual frustration with Henderson. 

“It's not lame. If it's done right,” Steve agrees. 

“The little shit then told me that metal lyrics don't count as poetry and I told him that I know more than just metal lyrics.” 

Steve can't help but look amused and gestures for Eddie to regale him with a poem. 

Eddie clears his throat and begins, “To find a kiss of yours what I would give…”

“A kiss that strayed from your lips...dead to love,” Steve finishes unthinking. After all, he read those words hundreds of times. 

That's when it clicks for Steve. The E written in the corner of all those notes stood for Eddie. 

Eddie's eyes catch Steve's and he visibly swallows. His complexion pails and he looks like he's about to run for it, but Steve sputters out his confession. 

“I kept them all.” 

Eddie's eyes widened even further at that as if he couldn't believe what Steve was saying.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Want to see them? They're in my room.”

“That's quite a line, Harrington”

“Well not all of us can be poets.”

[sitp-recs]

3 Tacky shorts to read this week

I ran against time to get this post out before midnight ET but am still a bit late 🥲 I know T won’t mind so here’s my belated gift to my sun and stars, my first and dearest partner in crime @tackytigerfic! T, I have no words to describe how much I appreciate our friendship. It’s been so special to experience this fandom with you in the last few years. I love that we immediately hit off and share one stupid brain cell when it comes to these idiots; it feels like we’ve known each other forever and 24 hours (especially living so far apart) is not enough to talk fic, headcanons, kinks, squicks and all other irl and existencial topics with you. Navigating such a big fandom can be really scary but even when nobody knew me I’d never feel lonely, invisible or like I had to pretend to be someone else, because I had you by my side. Thank you so so much for being my safe harbour, my sicko soulmate, my confidant, my role model and my biggest cheerleader!

As I thought of new ways to celebrate your day I tried to remember which fics I hadn’t written a rec for. I came to realize that I was never able to put my thoughts into words when it comes to my 3 favorite short fics of yours. They got me in such a Drarry fever, a tingling incoherent state of emotional devastation that I immediately put away the idea of doing recs because there was no possible way to translate my raw, ugly and chaotic feels about them. I tend to do this with fics that leave me with the so-called hangover once I’m done; funnily enough, the last time this happened - when I read Lettered’s By the Grace - it was you who helped me get that rec out by reviewing it and cheering me along the way, tysm 🥹 now it’s time to respond in kind and share love for these short gems that I have the privilege to revisit every time I need some comfort food. Lucky me, it turns out my best pal writes the exact brand of tender romance that checks all of my boxes. You are a fantastic friend and such a brilliant, talented writer. I love and admire you, and I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved. Can’t wait to see what comes next. Happy day T! 💜

👩‍🚀 Far Side + Relic Radiation (M, 1.7k)

Draco goes into space, leaving behind his son Scorpius (who has just started at Hogwarts, at least), and his not-quite-boyfriend Harry Potter. But Harry can't stop loving Draco just because he's approximately 408km up, in constant orbit.

“You’ll kill that plant,” Draco said, and flicked a lazy charm over the pot with his fingers so the spicy smell of the lavender sharpened the night air.

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

When I say the heart kick factor may hit you in the solar plexus when you least expect, this is what I’m talking about. I’ve obsessed so much over these 2 tiny shorts with single dad!Draco (one of the tropes Tacky does magic with, they are so disgustingly romantic and emotionally satisfying - gimme T’s dad!Draco anthology or give me nothing!!!) that I came up with a whole theory to prove these stories are actually connected. Whether I’m on the right track or just another delusional reader it’s yet to be seen 🤣 Draco’s devotion to baby Scorpius - and Harry’s gentle yearning for the both of them - does things to my poor heart I can’t quite put into words. Let that boy have his found family happy ending, damn it. Every time I reread these gems I get teared up and wish I could stay in this verse forever, watching Scorp grow while these two lovely men find each other time and again. To make your heart melt a bit more, check the breathtaking artwork by the one and only @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm. I cannot— *cries in Drarry*

🏜️ Between the Power Lines (M, 3k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

In New Orleans, they got drunk on Bourbon Street, and Malfoy danced on his own (arms bare, laughing; Harry could have watched him all night) and later on, so late it was almost morning, they let themselves into the St Louis Cemetery—Malfoy unpicking the lock so sweetly—and walked around until the sky was pink-edged with the promise of another day’s heat. Then they sat on the steps of a crypt, watched over by sightless eyes of the statue of an angel. She looked exhausted rather than sad, Harry thought, and that made a lot of sense when he thought about his own longstanding, dull-edged grief.

The best word to describe this (literally) hot fic is “atmospheric”. T does a flawless job building impeccable Americana vibes and packing so much story while keeping it 100% character-driven. I love the elegant, contained, confident writing, I love the evocative prose and how the mutual attraction bleeds through these quiet but intense road trip vignettes. The scenario is rich and immersive, the heat so palpable you can almost taste it, and the confession at the end is my definition of peak romance. A whole sensorial experience, both introspective and exciting, vibrant and melancholy, packed within 3k. Absolutely genius.

🎯Aim For My Heart (M, 3.4k)

Harry's in love, Ron's in control, and Draco just wants a nice lunch. They say three's a crowd, but Harry doesn't always agree. Not when he gets to be in the middle, anyway.

Neither of them had asked Harry what he likes best about them, but Harry watches them and feels the sick curl of excitement low in his belly, like something lost and gained all at once, and he wonders what he’d say if they did ask; would it be mouth or hands or arse, the gleam of clean hair or the hidden scent of a freshly-revealed patch of skin, blue eyes or grey? He doesn’t think he’d tell them what he really loves the most, and that’s the fact that both of them have been his for such a long time, in one way or another, and he loves that he gets to keep them.

For reference, this will always be the Dronarry classic I refer to when I think about this ship. The way Tacky explored the implications and complications of a triad relationship in its early stages (I am so fucking weak for that mix of want, jealousy and vulnerability) combined with exquisite characterization is so well executed I could cry. Beyond that banger of a starting line (“Big hands,” Draco says, and blushes) that made me blush and squeal in delight, Harry’s POV is a triumph. He’s genuinely lovely and relatable in all his yearning and insecurities, soft and longing for both Draco and Ron. The ideia of him realizing that he gets to be loved by, and keep the two people he loves the most in the world, makes my heart burst with warmth. I can pinpoint all the small, quiet but meaningful moments that made my breath stutter and my heart beat faster. This fic is a masterclass in elaborating complex and conflicting emotions, while solving them with a light hand of tenderness and understanding. It is subtle but efficient and all-encompassing in a way that stays with you for a long time after you’ve finished reading. The perfect triad fic.

[asphaltvalkyrie]

I had an extremely slow day at work today, so I chose to look busy by writing about BG3. Someone smarter than me has probably had this revelation before, but it gave me pause enough for me to feel like I need to share it.

I decided to romance Gale in my 2nd playthrough, with the intent of letting him get ahold of the Crown of Karsus, and its making me Feel Things.  I like this walking apocalypse of a wizard a lot (he and Karlach are my easy faves,) but its taken romancing him to really see that

tl;dr Gale's backstory really makes a handy allegory for gifted kid burnout.

From the beginning he was special, a golden child, someone who would do great things and go far. So, he ended up building his entire personality on that eventuality.  Older authority figures took a special interest in his talent and he immediately wanted nothing more than to please them, at the cost of making friends or learning life skills (well, except cooking apparently?) 

(Then there's the whole issue of him developing a sexual relationship with Mystra who was without a doubt considerably older than he was and had that "but he's so mature for his age," mindset and all the fuckery that comes with that holy shit I can't even begin to desconstruct how much that would fuck someone up.)

Then he makes a mistake. He breaks a rule he didn't know existed. Why doesn't he know that rule existed?  Because no one told him.  They conflated his intelligence with maturity and his self-confidence with knowing his own limits. They forgot that he's basically a kid compared to them. (Elminster is what, centuries old?  And Mystra is a fucking deity.) He lacks the emotional maturity to understand why what he did was so bad. 

Gifted kids know.  Among the absolute worst thing an adult can say to you is "I expected more of you," or "you should have known better." Which is pretty much what Elminster and Mystra said to him. And then they not only withdrew their attentions and support, but they also refused  to help him deal with the orb - an omnipresent physical and spiritual reminder of his trangression. After that... he just has no idea what to do with himself. He sits in his wizard tower until the Mind Flayers get him.

By the time the others find him, he's realized that the talent he used to get by on no longer serves him, but since he built his whole personality around it, he doesn't know how else to act.  So he maintains the bluff and bluster of a child prodigy, but he's now keenly aware of how pointless it is. He seems insufferably arrogant at times, but there's a razor-fine edge of self-loathing to that arrogance that he couches in self-aware humor. Over the course of his short time with the party he starts to feel like he's cared for and among friends, and even proves himself an attentive, affectionate and very grateful partner if you romance him.

Then Elminster shows up and tells him to atone for what he did by suicide bombing the Elder Brain. Bam, there goes his hope of finding a life outside of that "greatness" others told him he was destined for.  Once a gifted kid always a gifted kid.  Destined to be a human sacrifice on the altar of someone else's expectations, for good or ill. 

And in a semi-related note, when you take him through the Dryad's trial, the answer to the question "whats his biggest flaw" is that "he thinks the world would be better off with him dead" and he says that its very true, but he didn't realize it until you said it.

Then you find the Annals of Karsus, and what does he say he wants to do with it? Reforge the Crown of Karsus with it so that he can obtain godlike power and make the world better for mortals, and he wants to share it with you.  With how smart he is, he really should know thats a terrible idea. But he doesn't, because of a combination of hubris and naivete.  He learned absolutely zero lessons from the orb debacle because he hasn't really been allowed to learn any lessons beyond "I just have to do the thing I'm good at, only I have to try harder this time."

I'm only on the second netherstone, but I have a feeling that this is going to end very badly.

[vodika-vibes]

Arachne is not getting the nickel version so now she has to sit and listen to these terrifying villains explain Everything Wrong

Vod’ika I’m trying to keep track of all my questions here you know . . . 😅

Victor Von Doom has someone to monologue too, and he's going to take advantage of it. It helps, I suppose, that Arachne is a spider rather than a member of the Fantastic Four.

And also, hehehe~ There's some angst at the bottom, just fyi.

Meanwhile, on Coruscant- "Let go of me!" Dogma spits out, struggling against his brothers, trying to get to the glass and metal coffin that his Arachne is sleeping in, "Let-" Fives throws his weight over Dogma, joining Echo and Jesse in restraining him, "Come on, vod." Fives tries, "Kix is checking on her now. See?" There's a laugh from the opposite side of the room and the look up at the man standing there, "There's no need to worry. She's just having the sweetest dream. She might not ever want to wake up." There's a look on contempt on his face, "And you were foolish enough to come here without a jedi. So you'll be joining her soon enough." At the same time, in Manhattan- Doctor Doom's voice is like a drill, boring into her brain as he drones on and on and one- Stars, and you thought that Rhino was bad about monologuing. "Okay!" Arachne finally interrupts when he pauses to take a breath, "So, basically, my options to end this simulation or whatever are to die or to break it." "Exactly so." "Great! So, how far do I have to go to break the simulation from the inside?" "As far as you can," Doc Ock says, "Though, it really would be easier to let us kill you." "Yeahhh...I'm not doing that." She opens her mouth to say something else when the building above rattles with an explosion. Fisk, largely ignored until this point, turns to the room at large, "The Avengers are here." Arachne watches as the men around her done their battle gear, and then she yelps as the Green Goblin grabs her around the wrist, "Time for you to go." She's barely able to pull her mask on before she's being flung away from the battle between the Avengers and a lot of the super villains. "Oh boy." She breathes out as she turns and flings herself towards the Brooklyn Bridge, "Good thing this isn't real or the damages would be astronomical-" Arachne is halfway across the bridge when an arrow cuts through her web, causing her to fall to the ground. She lands, hard, on the ground, and immediately rolls over to her feet. "Working with Fisk now, are you Arachne?" Captain America asks as he stalks towards her with several other Avengers on his feels. "Well," She replies as she lowers herself to the ground, her gaze darting in every direction to look for an escape, "Needs must and all. You know how it is." His eyes are cold, and Arachne's heart sinks. She's never, ever, wanted to fight Captain America. "Surrender Arachne." "Oh, you have no idea how much I wish I could." She replies. "...so be it." Arachne's mind races, she needs to remove Iron Man from the field first and then focus on Captain America. Or else this is going to be a very short fight. Arachne is a very talented fighter. She's been heroing since she was 13 years old...however, the Avengers have both number and experience on her. Even so, the fight lasts longer than any of them expect. And then Hawkeye gets a lucky shot, and she goes down. Her head thumps aganint the concrete and she probably could get up, she probably could keep fighting. Her gaze drifts to Captain America, looming over her, and then drift back to the blue skies of Earth. She really, really hopes Victor was right about this. Captain America lifts his shield, holding onto the edges. Arachne keeps her gaze locked on the sky, "I was glad to see them. One more time." She whispers. He brings the shield down. She closes her eyes. Captain America's shield is embedded in the concrete of the Brooklyn Bridge, blood splattered across the white ring of his shield.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Hello! I hope you have an amazing morning/day/afternoon/night. I´ve read the latest chapter of your S.O.S fanfic and I wanted to say I am a big fan! I really like how every chapter is following each episode of the show with your own take/elaboration on certain scenes, for example when you added the conversation between Sticky and his aunt, which wasn´t in the show. And many many other scenes. Oh, and the whole backstory for Curtain and his former friends/colleagues, it is just ingenious. Truly a brilliant masterpiece. You are a very talented writer. :) I am very much looking forward to the next update. Oh and I can not express enough how I love the Oldest Siblings fanfic! You wrote each of the siblings perspectives so well! And alI the Benedict siblings angst and feels. I am thriving on that content. It is such a serotonin boost. :D

Also, speaking about Benedict siblings, I have a few headcanons about them, that have been floating around my mind for quite some time. These are absolutely not thorougly thought-out, just what my brain proposed to me one fine early morning at 3 am instead of letting me sleep *deep sigh*

This one is based on a dialogue between the children in a first chapter of the S.O.S when I think either Reynie or Sticky mentioned, that they have seen Nathaniel in his brother´s library organizing books, trying to put some kind of order to the chaos. Nathaniel would defininitely do that. It is in his nature. I think he would totally opt for Dewey decimal system. Nice, practical, efficient. But, I also like to think, he would make some changes to it quite frequently. Like one week the library would be organized by author A-Z, next week the other way around. Then weeks after that by genre, color, book height, subject etc. Poor Nicholas would kindly ask his twin to stop, but to no avail.

We know that each twin adopted a child. Nathaniel adopted SQ and Nicholas adopted Constance (although she declined, but it was legally approved as we have seen Nicholas holding the documents at the end of the first season) Their sister on the other hand would have a biological child, a daughter named Felicity about 13-14 years old. Sister´s spouse sadly doesn´t live with them anymore, (he either left them or passed away, I haven´t decided on that quite yet), Felicity doesn´t remerber her dad very much because it happened, when she was very young.

I think it goes without saying that both the sister and her daughter would be brilliant and would possess a great intellect like the brothers do. It just runs in the family.

Their sister would also suffer from narcoleptic episodes, her trigger would probably be intense sadness (as opposed to Nicholas´ trigger being joy). Felicity does not suffer from it though.

Sister introduces her daughter to her brothers. I can imagine that Nicholas would collapse from the rush of joy and happiness, eyes filled with tears all that, at the perspective of being an uncle, Nathaniel would immediately catch his brother on instinct. Only for him to collapse a few seconds after Nicholas, because of his vulnerability trigger and basically going through the same emotional experience. Their niece would tried to hold back a sob as she would take comfort in knowing that she had just met two father figures in her life (Both brothers would be an amazing uncles ). Meanwhile her mother falls asleep because if her own trigger. Felicity immediately takes action and puts a pillow under everyone´s heads to ensure comfort as she waits for them to wake up, It is a very emotional event for each party involved to say the least.

And that´s the end of mine take on the matter. I previously had more headcanons which were much more detailed, but I forgot to put them on paper or type them in my computer. Oh, well. Maybe they will come to me. Anyway, thank you for reading all that and I hope it wasn´t too long. I do apologize for my grammar and weird wording at times. English is not my native language.

Okay, first of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply to this message, but I hope it's a good one, because this ask means the world to me. 🥹💕

I came home exhausted from a long day of work and classes and logged into tumblr to this and it absolutely made my entire evening. I'm serious. I gotta hand to y'all. Just when I think that the comments I've gotten on my SOS fic can't get anymore heartwarming and incredible, you leave me this comment, which...I mean, first of all, do not apologize for your grammar and wording, your message was perfect. I'm sorry if I forget words or if this sounds weird, I'm pretty tired and kind of rambling, but please know that I am flattered by this. I have had people draw fan art based on my fic, make a personality quiz based on my fic, do chapter by chapter tumblr reviews of my fic, leave fabulously unhinged comments on fic, and message me just to tell me how much my fic means to them, and every time I am absolutely flattered and at a loss for words and say to myself that this is the highest honor I could ever receive and nothing will ever top this and yet you wonderful wonderful readers prove me wrong every single time. I mean...the account you sent this ask from is only following staff and looks like a new account, and if you wanted this to be anonymous, you presumably would have just sent your ask from a main and hit the anon button instead of making a throw away, so...

Did...did you get??? A tumblr??? Just to message me this??? I- I-just- 🥹💓💓💓

Luna, (I hope you don't mind if I call you that based on your username), thank you so much. I wish I had better words to describe how much your message and the messages of everyone else in this amazing fandom mean to me, but I just don't have the words to do it justice. Please know that I love your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed SOS and The Oldest Siblings (the lesser known SOS prequel that inspired my unhinged masterpiece, thank you for giving it some love🥰). I'm also glad you liked the backstory and added scenes. They wormed their way into my head and I figured "as long as their here, why not share them?" and I'm very glad I did. I'm also glad I decided to type out some scenes from the show. It's not all of it (that would be too much), but I was originally only going to include the content that I added to seasons 1 and 2 (because other wise I was just repeating stuff and the fic is crazy long anyway), but I eventually decided to include my own takes on most relevant (adult or SOS character focused) canon scenes from the show as well, because I realized that doing so helped the reader follow the timeline of events and kept up with and explained each character's motivation, which is important to do when you have this many characters. I'm also glad because now that the show is off Disney+, you have a place you can read the dialogue from some of the scenes (not all, but it's something. And all the dialogue and body movements are from the canon show for those scenes. All I add are extra lines at the beginning or end of scenes before or after "cuts" and internal character thoughts that explain their actions).

I love your head canons btw. The one about Nathaniel is very true. At least in my fic. He's a nervous organizer, and there's no way he could live in the chaos of the Benedict house without cleaning up a bit.

As for your head canons about the sister's child...I love it. I love the twist of her being her biological daughter and having narcolepsy. Also, depending on how old you head canon SQ (in my fic he's a bit older, but he's around 14-19), they're pretty close in age, and I know SQ and Constance would be great cousins to her!

Slight possible spoilers for future works, but I have toyed with the idea of the sister having a child as well. I can't give anymore away without spoiling stuff, but I think you might like what I decide to do with it. (If I can ever get to that point). I do want to apologize, I just went back to school, and that has been taking up a lot of my time. But I promise I'm still writing, and although I can't say when, the updates will come. And, while you are on tumblr, I have some mutuals who write some really great stuff you can read in the meantime. I won't annoy everyone by tagging them, but if you scroll through the blog @floorboardchompingfridays, you should be able to find some good ones.

Thank you again for this message. It made my entire day, and I hope you have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening and remember take care of yourself. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

^This gif is me hugging all of you, btw.

[blahblahblahoohrottmnt]

TW: ||blood, bad self talk, abusive behavior, sh||

INFECTION AU

This infection causes the user to use their talents until they physically and mentally attack themselves. This infection usually occurs in organisms with a lot of stress. I say organisms because yes, animals can catch this infection too. And it affects humans the most. And, as you all know, ROTTMNT brothers are anthropomorphic animals so it affects them harder than anything else

Time for the symptoms! Early symptoms: talking to themselves as they work, being passive-aggressive when someone tries to stop them from using their powers, rude behavior. Stage 1: Isolated, screaming when they do something wrong, starts realizing they’re infected. Stage 2: talking to themselves to stop, no control of their bodies, using their talents more. Stage 2 (if they have powers): using powers to try to stop themselves, hurting themselves because of their efforts. Stage 3: No control of their bodies, over exertion of powers/talent, extreme exhaustion, body responding to the physical abuse (pale, thin, slow). Stage 4: mental state is at 0 and they talk to themselves (conflicted between stopping and continuing because the infection is moving to their brain), uncontrollable grinning and stress, internal conflict, high tension. Stage 5 (final): it’s either death or they get cured.

NOW FOR THE BROTHERS!

Donnie: Early - thinks he’s fine (because that’s what he always does). Stage 1 - slowly realizing but still thinks he’s fine. Stage 2 - trying to find a cure and using the infection to his advantage (he’s using the infection to make him work hard on the cure as science is his talent). Stage 3 - gets to mentally rest because their body is working without his control. Stage 4 - using his power more and more to get the cure right. Stage 5 - cured

Leo: Early Symptoms - immediately feels as if something is wrong. Stage 1 - Goes to Donnie to realize he’s infected too. Stage 2 - cutting himself with his katanas to get him to stop. Stage 3 - portal-ing uncontrollably. Stage 4 - can’t get a break, losing hope. Stage 5 - almost dies from either blood loss from blood coughing / s3lf h4rm from the infection but gets cured by Donnie

Raph: Early symptoms - same as Donnie. Stage 2 - notices he’s training much more and thinks it’s a good thing. Stage 3 - keeps telling himself “I need to keep training. My brothers need me. April needs me. They will die without me. I’m sorry. I need more. I need to do more.” Stage 4 - brothers can’t get near him because of his powerful punches and mystic powers, coughing up blood from overexertion . Stage 5 - dead…but revived later.

Mikey: none! He’s immune! He’s the hope for Donnie :D. He’s also the reason Raph is revived.

April: moved to another city but keeps in touch to help spread the cure. Sadly can’t go home

Splinter: dead…and the first to spread the infection

Baron Draxum and Big Mama: helping Donnie spread the cure (Baron Draxum: Mass production. Big Mama: campaign)

The Jones: got infected but cured by Donnie (early stages only aka Early and Stage 1), accidentally scarred each other because of the infection

How it spreads: bites, bodily fluids, cuts, inhalation, insects

[mochitoaster]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry I'm not normal about chapter 3. First of all, I love the way you write and manage to put ideas down into words. I would happily read a novel from you because your writings perfect. its just! <333 makes me really happy when you update because I know that its going to be an epic chapter.

Anyways! Chapter time:

I had a really weird feeling of deja vu while reading the first part, but other than that I adore how you describe the turning process.

'First, the spark reenters the brain, neurons firing after falling silent. Then comes the pain, an all consuming stabbing, the body rejecting the life being injected back into it with every single cell.' <- I am not normal about this.

TAZERCRAFT! 'Mike is so warm. No amount of blood Pac drinks can compare to the warmth of his partner. It’s in his body, his voice, and carried within every joke, query, and comforting word.' <33333333 I love how you write them. They're relationship is so complex but you write them perfectly every time

“why bother with a love triangle when they can all just get together?” <- good question. Why bother with a love triangle?

'but upon peering through the peephole all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt' <- Pac sees hot cannibal immediately forgets how to think

'They trace over his top surgery scars' :D

'Mike glances between them as Cell backs up, a vaguely disgusted look on his face' <- same Mike. Same. (Mikes reactions to Celltw are always so funny he's so fed up with them both)

'He slides up onto a tall chair across from Forever.' <- FOREVER?????????? WAIT WHAT??? I did not see that coming.

'Forever smiles pleasantly at him, his facial expression smooth as if he hadn’t even registered the slip-up.'

'Vaguely, in the back of his mind, he wonders why Forever isn’t struggling. Most victims push back and fight to break free, yet he stands still, allowing Pac to drain him of precious fluids. 

“Pac,” Forever whispers. 

If he wasn’t so lost in Forever’s taste, Pac would probably have noticed that he hadn’t given Forever his name. 

Forever’s voice is hoarse as he says, “I’m sorry.”' <- hey. hey what THE ACTUAL FUCK. no seriously though this is perfect why the fuck does Forever know his name. WHY IS PAC GETTING KIDNAPPED?????

I am so excited to see where this goes theres still two chapters left and I'm just!!!

WAIT! Needles, Kidnapping, Unethical Experimentation, Government Experimentation. Authour I am scared for what the next chapter holds.

On a happier note, 'polyamory' :D.

This was fantastic and just!!!!!! to many thoughts about this i'm going to explode your so talented. you are so smart for writing this btw. love this fic so so so so much <3

YOURE SO SWEET EXPLODES YOU WXPLODES YOU <33333

Very glad you enjoyed! This chapter was SO HARD TO FINISH. It’s also the longest I think I’ve written? Idk

I’m really happy you like my flavour of tazercraft I really enjoy writing them C: the banter is so fun

Next chapter takes a hard left turn in vibes but it’s gonna be awesome >:D look forward to it!!!

[eoieopda]

[visual content blog recommendations]

we see fic recs all the time, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen rec lists for visual content (gif/art/gfx/etc.) creators! they’ve been dealing with a bunch of shit lately between reposts, tumblr garbage, etc., so i wanna shout-out some favorites. thank you for keeping us fed!!

disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list!! if you have recommendations of your own, please feel free to expand on this yourself and/or drop some of your faves in the replies for others to see. self-promo is always welcome here, too ✨ p.s. some of these are recent finds for me, so pls expect to see more of them on my blog. eta: i will be adding more as i go!!

[bts]

@yooboobies — réka’s gif sets are *chef’s kiss* and the ART? omg. the talent!!! 😭 we simply have to simp.

@cordiallyfuturedwight — apart from being one of the coolest/funniest people i’ve found on army tumblr, i am a kayla stan because the niche themes for her gif sets (ex. bangtan turtlenecks series) feel like they’re made 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 even though they absolutely aren’t, lmao.

@hopeinthebox — the bts as reductress headline + incorrect bangtan series are probably my favorite pieces of content on the entire internet??? also, lizzy is absolutely gd hilarious. tags are 11/10. a blessing upon my dash.

@kimtaegis — i’m not visually artistic enough to say this in a way that makes sense, but annie’s gifs are just… stunning? like, the colors? idk about the process that goes into that, but i imagine it takes a lot of time/finesse to be this vivid.

@kithtaehyung — ryen is the renaissance man of army tumblr, fr. not only can she write (like!!!) but she’s multi-faceted and insanely creative with her graphic design. i want her to tutor me, lmao.

@raplinenthusiasts — ooohhhhh my god. the coloring of their gifs makes my brain go brrrrtttt. this bts x the office set is on my “always reblog” list; i’ll share it every time i come across it.

@heybaetae — this set in particular is on my “always reblog” list, no matter how many times i’ve done so already. also, idk how to describe this, but kelli’s gifs are just…. crispy 🤌🏻 like, so satisfying with the…. texture? filtering? contrast? i’m an idiot re: editing terms, but go peep them and you’ll know what i’m trying to say.

@kth1 — literally who could ever forget maggie’s 100 days of (member) series??? the amount of work that had to go into that? unfathomable.

@jeurias — i want to wallpaper my house and office with their gfx. i’m deadass.

@jinstronaut — emmeline has been doing her “a jin a day while he’s away” series for OVER 250 DAYS NOW. i have never been nor will i ever be able to commit to anything to this level.

[multi/skz/atz/svt/etc.]

@starryoong / @cherrrywon — do not get me started on starry’s paintings, sketches, etc. because i will never shut up. ever. j’adore 🫠 is also a five-star human being.

@scouped — my queue is probably 80% max gifs at any given time. god-tier, fr. a must-follow for carats, as far as i’m concerned.

@vcrnons — incredible gifs, lovely human, and also the writer of some of my favorite svt fics??? we stan.

@yelhsaart — i don’t have any words for how much i love their art so please imagine guttural screaming instead. asdfghjkl!!!

@hizuillu — ……breathtaking. legitimately stunning skz art. like…… i have heart palpitations.

@snug-gyu — THE USE OF COLORS. i’m always a simp for pantone-inspired sets; they just scratch an itch in the back of my brain, and BOY HOWDY, is my brain satisfied 😵‍💫

@yunwooz — again, i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to the gif-making process, but the colors!!! the COLORS!!! like, taking a mv that’s not super vivid/is fairly greyscale and bringing it to life? ya know????

@uharuz — you want incredible gifs? they’ve got em. you want stunning gfx? they’ve got em. seriously, idk what to tell you except “pause right here and go follow immediately”.

@haechannabelle — listen……. annabelle’s art style is 😗🤌🏻 (that’s a chef’s kiss). the use of color, and the technique, and and and — ! ALSO, i must mention that she took, like, 50 hours to compile a boycott-friendly k-pop playlist. their vibes are simply impeccable.

@96z — sol puts together the DOPEST gif sets, both because of the visuals (coloring, text, etc., idk many gif-making terms) but also because of the amount of personality that goes into the captioning. 10/10. (this rec would be made even if i did not receive the gif gift of hoshi screaming my username, which i have saved and now use regularly off tumblr for reaction purposes.)

@hoshingi — [yoongi voice] i don’t know your name, and i might be biased because we share a hamster tiger bias, but the gifs are fire. just straight fire.

rev. 2/22/25

[redfurrycat]

#STOP GIVING ME HANGSTER IDEAS RED!!#I DON"T NEED NO MORE!!!#but also like come on just imagine with me here for a moment#non navy bradley who jokingly signs up for the contest because his besties also sign up for it#and he's like absolutely positively sure he isn't going to win but then oh no HE DOES#and now he's freaking out because he's going on a date with a naval pilot (not bringing up any issues for bradley. nope. no issues to be#found here!) and on top of THAT the man is so fucking gorgeous that bradley doesn't know how to not be a stuttering. blushing. clumsy nerd#and bradley spends the whole date thinking he's tanking this. that he's just ruining it all and that jake can't wait to get away from him.#and jake spends the whole night being charmed by this absolutely bumbling dork. who just happens to be the single sexiest man jake's ever#laid eyes on before#obviously they bone and start dating immediately#and it's all happily ever after (just need to work a few things first! like bradley's communication issues and his self esteem issues#and jake's knee jerk reaction to be an asshole and HIS self esteem issues and a few other things) (via @nixie-deangel)

Staring at your tags very innocently, Nix. <3 Non-Navy!Bradley has been working at the San Diego Zoo, ever since his papers for the Academy were pulled. Living a rather sweet life surrounded by his aquatic buddies. He frequently goes to the Hard Deck with his friends and often ogles the uniforms there. That's how the group first heard about the Navy Calendar about to come out, and the special reward for the lucky person who gets the Hangman Calendar. Everyone talks about how sexy that Lieutenant is, also they're of course jealous of Hangman, because he got the looks AND the talent. Bradley and his friends are all so very drunk, and they're teasing him about how he should try the Win-the-Date thingy. After all, Bradley never hides his love for the uniform.... (Yes, there's also the Mav past, but he can't help himself and drools over any Navy-person.) After much teasing and pushing from his friends, he goes to Penny to order one calendar, mostly just to have fun criticize each Navy Model, he never expects to get THE calendar.... Except he does get it. And how does he know that? Because his friends realise it first. Contact the PR team for the Navy and give them Bradley's info, so Jake KNOWS who's the lucky guy/girl. (Let's say he's invested in this, because part of the money goes to a fundation of his own choosing? And YES he is a big cowboy with an even bigger heart, but no one has ever seen that soft part of him.) He's been told the winning person works as a handler for the aquatic animals of the zoo. He goes there one day, when Bradley is cleaning the dolphins swimming pool/pen. He tries to approach him, all cocky self-assurance and ready to 'faux'-sweep this man off his feet. You have to know one thing though. Dolphins, and Bradley's in particular, are mischievious intelligent creatures. And they manage to make Bradley trip Jake into the swimming pool. Bradley's been quite surprised and is quick to save this 'poor unfortunate' man. And there you go. Bradley saves a man quite perfectly capable of swimming himself. Is also quite sorry for wetting him. But worst is... 'Holy Shit. You're Lieutenant October with perfect symmetrical face and high expections of breeding-capabilities, all nicely envelopped by an exquisite set of abs.' (how Jake was described by the drunk group of friends at the bar) 'high expections of whaaaa-?' (his brain blue screens) - 'Um, My name is Jake, and I'm your date.' 'My date?' 'Your date.' 'What date?' 'Yours.' 'Mine?' (And they go on with a stupid convo for a whole minute, until the dolphins splash them with water again.) At which point their braincell somewhat returns where they should be, and they manage to hold two minutes of intelligent conversation. Which ends up in a date at the seafood restaurant next to the zoo. Which ends up being Bradley talking about his little protégé - a tortoise he adopted years ago after he found her abandonned near the zoo. He explains how he transformed his garden to suit Donatella's needs. Jake has done nothing but stare at Bradley, and listen to him talk, enthralled. Their date's ends with Bradley realising he talked WAY too much about Donnie, babbling Jake's ears off ('Geez, he must be so bored...'). He gets up abruptly, pays for the food (it was supposed to be Jake's, but Bradley got too embarassed.) and flies. Jake is left alone at the table. Bill's paid even though they haven't finished their tiramisu. And his date isn't here anymore. Shit. His Future Husband, the father of his future tortoise-in-law, is no longer here.... 'WAIT!'

I've been holding on to this one tight but I figured y'all deserve it

[127luvr]

hiii ⭐️

i really liked the last mark fic cause he really is the type to guess your mood just by your lyrics or how you sing and dance. so can i request something like that?

like, you’re doing some freestyle and he’s watching you like :( cause he feels you’re down and then he comforts you 🥺

Black Clouds

Mark Lee x Male Reader

The set is familiar—like you’ve seen it before in another video that Johnny’s made. But now it had been refurbished, the old brown wood painted flush with a rich black color that still felt tacky to the touch. You turned away from the wall, catching Mark’s brown eyes as you regroup with the three other members that sat around the table. He looks down shyly, turning visibly pink as you to stare in between his eyebrows—scared to look into his eyes again.

“Welcome back to JCC everyone! We’re here with—”

“Mark!”

“Jaehyun!”

“(Y/n).” You feel the air shift at your introduction—it was short and cold as you looked down at the pattern on the table. Now all eyes were on you, followed by half of the crew that surrounded the set. Their eyes felt like beady little cameras—watching to judge—to catch a single mistake in how you carry yourself.

“And Haechan!” Immediately the mood goes back to how it was before you announced yourself—the suddenly bright atmosphere leaving you with a bitter feeling in your chest. “It’s been a while since I’ve appeared in JCC and it’s (Y/n/n)’s first time! How are you feeling?”

Again, all eyes fall on you. You feel the whites of your eyes stinging as you focused all of your attention on the microphone in front of you. It reminded you of Johnny and Jaehyun’s Nct Night Night show. This set was much smaller—you would even bet that it was less than half the size of their old studio. The first time you had visited them was when you were a trainee. Having tagged along with Mark since he had invited you. Last time they happily included you in the segment, making you feel comfortable enough to freestyle on the spot.

This time just felt different. The hold your depressive episode had on you was strong enough to not let you enjoy anything. It kept you from being present in the moment with your members—kept you from being happy that Johnny asked you specifically to join his new video.

“I’m feeling grateful, Haechannie. To be here with you guys is more than enough.” Johnny coos, smiling with his eyes as he motions you to continue. “It’s been a hard couple of years you know? What with the pandemic and the uncertainty of my debut, but we got through it—you guys are forever stuck with me.” While the sentiment was there, you felt as if you just performing—putting on a show. Saying things you knew the viewers would want to hear. Your body physically was here—sure—but your mind was elsewhere. Still in the unmade bed in the room that you shared with Mark.

Mark—who kept trying to catch your eyes just once as you kept quiet throughout the filming process. Only laughing when the others laughed and clapping whenever they clapped. He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to steer the conversation away from you as he felt the melancholy ooze from you and your slouched posture. He kept the others busy—too busy to notice how the cameras only followed them and the sound of their voices rather than focusing on your own sullen demeanor. It felt like a stab at your heart. His kindness making your longing feel even worse as he tried his hardest to help you when you felt the most helpless. But that was Mark for you.

“Now, before wrapping this up, we had a special guest on Nct Night Night a few years ago. He did this freestyle rap for us on the spot and it stuck with me even now. One of our most talented. I’m hoping you say yes when I ask you to do another for us? Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” You feel tense, the sincerity behind Jaehyun’s words falling on your ears but not processing in your brain. You were glad to have made such an impression on them but you were such a different (Y/n) now compared to just a few years ago—hell, compared to a few weeks ago even. With a shy nod, you tap on the mic, making sure it was still on after not having said anything for the better part of an hour.

“Of course. That memory has stuck with me too, Jaehyun-ssi. It was when I knew this group would be perfect for me.” You cleared your throat, doing mock vocal warmups with Johnny as they all cheered you on. Finally, your eyes meet Mark’s—who looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. “Mark, do you mind just beatboxing for me? Whatever is fine—I know you’ll come up with something genius.” And just like that he begins with a slow beat, giving you long half notes before transitioning into quick eighth notes. “It’s like staring down the barrel of a gun—where my life had just begun—”

The rest of the lyrics are forgotten. A thing of the past as you reach the end of your rhymes and metaphors. There was no need to memorize them for a song, knowing you could never express how you feel so intimately with others—such as fans. A beat passes, the members stunned into silence before bursting into a round of applause for you.

“Wow. Still the same amazing lyricist as before—”

“Is it okay if I step out for a second?”

The lights in the restrooms are no better than the ones on set—in actuality, they made you feel worse as you leaned your back into the cool wall between the mirror and the hand dryer. You took in slow deep breaths, closing your eyes as you tried to talk yourself down from spiraling any further.

“Hey.” Mark’s voice startled you, causing a shiver to run through your whole body before you settled back into a comfortable position. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you—I could go back, if you’d like.” You grab at the hand closest to you, pulling at Mark’s wrist so he’s just mere centimeters away from you. “Johnny said he could exclude that whole part of the video if you’d like. He also wanted me to tell you not to feel too guilty. We could refilm whenever you felt better.” Mark reciprocates your hold on him, grabbing your waist his his free hand and rubbing small circles into it.

He pulls you into a hug, done with pushing his feelings down when all he’s wanted to do all day was be next to you. To trace the wrinkles in your palm under the table to soothe you and help you through the recording. He’s never felt more at home than he does in your arms as you wrap them around his hips, settling in to his warmth and letting your body relax into his. It was as if you molded perfectly together—like puzzle pieces.

“I’m so tired, Mark. I don’t know how much longer I can go on feeling like this. I don’t even know what this is—I’m perfectly fine. Physically I’m healthy, nothing went wrong I just feel like shit. How do I stop feeling like I don’t deserve to be here?” Without warning you feel yourself shaking, shedding angry tears into Mark’s shoulder as he held you, hands running up and down your back.

“I’m sorry baby. I wish I could tell you how to get through it faster but everyone heals differently. I wish I could just snap my fingers and get rid of all the sadness you have experienced. You know, if only the world functioned like that.” Sensing your quietness he stops joking around—pulling your head up with both of his large hands. He is forcing you to face him. Your red eyes swollen as he looks down at you with parted pink lips. “You did so great in there, (Y/n). You tried your hardest to be present with us regardless of what you’ve had to fight in your own mind.”

You can’t help but start crying again—scared to let go of Mark as if he would disappear from right in front you of. Not that it matters—he would have never done that you.