#from others and my brain immediately goes to how talented when I know how much work those ppl had to put into it to get to that level

[whalehouse1]

Hello imposter syndrome my old friend.

[eoieopda]

[visual content blog recommendations]

we see fic recs all the time, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen rec lists for visual content (gif/art/gfx/etc.) creators! they’ve been dealing with a bunch of shit lately between reposts, tumblr garbage, etc., so i wanna shout-out some favorites. thank you for keeping us fed!!

disclaimer: this is not an exhaustive list!! if you have recommendations of your own, please feel free to expand on this yourself and/or drop some of your faves in the replies for others to see. self-promo is always welcome here, too ✨ p.s. some of these are recent finds for me, so pls expect to see more of them on my blog. eta: i will be adding more as i go!!

[bts]

@yooboobies — réka’s gif sets are *chef’s kiss* and the ART? omg. the talent!!! 😭 we simply have to simp.

@cordiallyfuturedwight — apart from being one of the coolest/funniest people i’ve found on army tumblr, i am a kayla stan because the niche themes for her gif sets (ex. bangtan turtlenecks series) feel like they’re made 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 me 👏🏻 even though they absolutely aren’t, lmao.

@hopeinthebox — the bts as reductress headline + incorrect bangtan series are probably my favorite pieces of content on the entire internet??? also, lizzy is absolutely gd hilarious. tags are 11/10. a blessing upon my dash.

@kimtaegis — i’m not visually artistic enough to say this in a way that makes sense, but annie’s gifs are just… stunning? like, the colors? idk about the process that goes into that, but i imagine it takes a lot of time/finesse to be this vivid.

@kithtaehyung — ryen is the renaissance man of army tumblr, fr. not only can she write (like!!!) but she’s multi-faceted and insanely creative with her graphic design. i want her to tutor me, lmao.

@raplinenthusiasts — ooohhhhh my god. the coloring of their gifs makes my brain go brrrrtttt. this bts x the office set is on my “always reblog” list; i’ll share it every time i come across it.

@heybaetae — this set in particular is on my “always reblog” list, no matter how many times i’ve done so already. also, idk how to describe this, but kelli’s gifs are just…. crispy 🤌🏻 like, so satisfying with the…. texture? filtering? contrast? i’m an idiot re: editing terms, but go peep them and you’ll know what i’m trying to say.

@kth1 — literally who could ever forget maggie’s 100 days of (member) series??? the amount of work that had to go into that? unfathomable.

@jeurias — i want to wallpaper my house and office with their gfx. i’m deadass.

@jinstronaut — emmeline has been doing her “a jin a day while he’s away” series for OVER 250 DAYS NOW. i have never been nor will i ever be able to commit to anything to this level.

[multi/skz/atz/svt/etc.]

@starryoong — do not get me started on starry’s paintings, sketches, etc. because i will never shut up. ever. j’adore 🫠 is also a five-star human being.

@irlvernon — my queue is probably 80% max gifs at any given time. god-tier, fr. a must-follow for carats, as far as i’m concerned.

@vcrnons — incredible gifs, lovely human, and also the writer of some of my favorite svt fics??? we stan.

@yelhsaart — i don’t have any words for how much i love their art so please imagine guttural screaming instead. asdfghjkl!!!

@hizuillu — ……breathtaking. legitimately stunning skz art. like…… i have heart palpitations.

@snug-gyu — THE USE OF COLORS. i’m always a simp for pantone-inspired sets; they just scratch an itch in the back of my brain, and BOY HOWDY, is my brain satisfied 😵‍💫

@yunwooz — again, i have no idea what i’m talking about when it comes to the gif-making process, but the colors!!! the COLORS!!! like, taking a mv that’s not super vivid/is fairly greyscale and bringing it to life? ya know????

@booskwan — you want incredible gifs? they’ve got em. you want stunning gfx? they’ve got em. seriously, idk what to tell you except “pause right here and go follow immediately”.

@haechannabelle — listen……. annabelle’s art style is 😗🤌🏻 (that’s a chef’s kiss). the use of color, and the technique, and and and — ! ALSO, i must mention that she took, like, 50 hours to compile a boycott-friendly k-pop playlist. their vibes are simply impeccable.

rev. 4/10/24

[goodlucktai]

the way things change

tmnt 2007 word count: 2k post-movie / canon compliant b team & leo-centric

this was my main piece for the @turtlestogetherzine ! it was such a fun project that so many talented people came together on and if you haven’t already you should definitely check out everyone else’s AMAZING contributions !

title borrowed from rivers and roads by the head and the heart

read on ao3

x

Donnie and Mikey have always been something of a matching set. 

During their early years, they went everywhere together. Even when Mikey was at his most irritating and Donnie seemed two seconds away from disposing of him in brutal fashion—even though the two of them could be like night and day at the best of times—they were always on each other’s team first. 

Raph used to call them ‘the twins’ because they were both his younger brothers and they were both, in his own words, tag-teaming little twerps. The twin moniker caught on and even Splinter would use it occasionally. In the back of his mind, Leo still does.

Three weeks after the dust had settled over the remains of Winter Corp, he found himself thinking, Guess some things never change. 

“Donnie, a tablet at the breakfast table?” Leo asks dryly. “Really?” 

Blatant disregard like this for one of sensei’s longest-standing rules was usually much more Raph’s speed. 

Don pauses mid-scroll and thinks for a moment. 

“Mikey, what day is it?” he says eventually.

“It’s the eleventh, dude, you’re good,” is Mikey’s distracted reply. 

He’s making a game out of pouring as much cereal into his bowl as it will physically hold, which has amounted to a sizable mound of off-brand Lucky Charms. Leo is reluctantly curious to see what he’s going to do when he remembers he still needs to add milk. 

Donnie, for his part, immediately goes back to ignoring the rest of them as a whole. 

Raph puts his spoon down. “Explain what just happened.”

“It’s a prime number day,” Mikey says blithely, without looking up from the careful, exacting process of shaking another couple of marshmallow pieces out of the box. “Prime means primo screen-time.” 

Splinter is sipping his tea without refuting Mikey’s explanation, so that must be a thing now. Leo blinks, processing this. He can’t help remembering how it was before he went away, the strict ‘no electronics at the table’ policy, because mealtimes were family times. 

Raph directs his confusion down a different route. “Mike knows what prime numbers are? Since when?”

Donnie looks up from his tablet to angle a narrow look Raph’s way. His warm brown eyes are markedly cooler than before. He clearly didn’t appreciate the joke. 

He’s never been one to pick fights with his siblings. The Donatello Leo knows is a gentle soul, every bit as deadly as the rest of his family, but more inclined to mediate disputes than start one himself. 

So the last thing Leonardo expects is for him to take a page out of Raph’s book at eight in the morning. 

When Mikey starts tapping and humming, Leo can't help smiling a little. It’s a sound he missed in the jungle. 

“God, I can’t even hear myself think around here,” Raph grumbles. 

To Leo’s ears, it’s not unkind. Teasing, but good-natured. Leo knows what Raphael sounds like when he’s ticked off beyond all reason—when he’s angling for a fight and determined to get one, when he’ll say anything to get Leo to punch back—and this is very much not that. 

But something darts through Mikey’s expression that makes the big brother half of Leo’s brain sit up and pay attention. Donnie notices, too. 

“He has ADHD, asshole,” he snaps. “If it bothers you that much, put on some headphones or go away.”

The atmosphere changes on a dime. Splinter’s ears go up, whiskers slicked back. Raph looks as surprised as Leo feels.

“Donnie!” Leo says, more stunned than scolding. 

Donnie puts his tablet down, not quite hard enough to constitute a slam. “Are we really going to pretend that Mikey’s stimming is more annoying than listening to Raph when he’s in one of his moods?”

“Er, no.” Leo briefly looks to Splinter for guidance before he catches himself. “I mean—it’s just the way you said it.”

“The way I said it?” Donnie demands. 

“Dee, knock it off,” Mikey interjects unhappily. “You know I hate it when you guys put me in the middle.”

It pulls Donatello up short. He visibly grits his teeth, then bites out, “Can I be excused?” 

Splinter knows when to pick his battles. It’s a lesson all of his sons could stand to learn. 

“Take your plate, please,” the rat says. 

To Donnie’s credit, he doesn’t storm down the tunnel to the lab, even though it looks like he’d like to. The reinforced door shuts behind him with a decisive clang that rings through the lair. 

Leo feels wrong-footed by the entire exchange. Somehow, in the last three minutes, a comfortable family breakfast went entirely off the rails. 

Mikey isn’t humming anymore. The kitchen feels quieter than it should. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean—” Raph starts uncertainly. 

“Don’t be dumb, I know that,” Mikey says, not looking at anyone. He tips his dry cereal back into the box and then picks at his toast until he’s moved enough of it around that his plate appears halfway finished and he’s allowed to leave the table. 

He does so at a run, booking it to the lab. The door opens right up for him. It was locked the last time Leo tried it. 

And it’s locked the next time he tries it, too, half an hour later. 

“It’s me,” Leo calls, feeling a little foolish standing out in the hall. “Can I come in?”

Donnie’s voice answers immediately. “List the first ten prime numbers and I’ll think about it.”

Okay, this is Donnie with a grudge. Leo remembers enough of what that looks like to tread carefully. 

“I just want to talk,” he says. “Is Mikey okay?”

The door unlocks and Donnie rolls it open. He gives Leo an inscrutable look before he stands back to let him in. 

Mikey is parked in a huge bean bag chair in the corner, headphones on, drawing tablet propped against his knees. His ninja senses must have pinged when Leo walked in; he glances up right on cue and offers a hang-loose sign. Leo mirrors it, entirely because he knows it’ll make Mikey snicker. 

“He’s fine,” Donnie says unnecessarily, sitting down at his desk. “We look out for each other.” 

If that’s a jab, it’s a well-aimed one. 

“Yeah, I see that,” Leo says. “Look, I’m sorry if it sounded like I took Raph’s side back there. But you know that Raph doesn’t think Mikey’s stupid. He would be the first to break somebody’s jaw for implying that.”

“So that makes it okay to say whatever he wants to a neurodivergent teenager?” Don presses, eyes flashing. “But when I say something to Raph—”

Leo can feel himself losing his patience. “Donnie, come on. All I meant was that you shouldn’t pick fights when you know better.”

As soon as he says it he knows it’s the wrong thing to say. Donnie spins his chair around to face the computer monitors, neatly severing his half of the conversation.

“Close the door behind you when you leave,” he says in a clipped tone. 

Across the room, Mikey is watching them with round eyes. He’s a few seconds from tossing his art aside and getting up to diffuse the fight. As much as he hates when his brothers put him in the middle, he has no problem putting himself there. 

It almost seems like Mikey isn’t sure if it’s safe to leave Donnie alone with this strange newcomer who looks a lot like the big brother who left them all behind. 

Leo breathes through the sharp pain that brings him and thinks, Fix this. 

He draws another chair over and sits down. Donnie’s shoulders go stiff but he doesn’t react otherwise. 

“Sorry,” Leo says quietly. 

It takes a minute but eventually Donnie nods, brown eyes full and troubled. 

“Me too,” he replies. “I know I’m being difficult. I’m just—I feel so angry all the time.”

Donnie isn’t Raph. He never had any problem with Leo’s authority. He had his own parts to play on the team, parts he took pride in—doctor, scientist, engineer. He was relieved to hand back that mantle of leadership, to step back into his curated role, but that doesn’t mean everything just returns to the way it was.

Donatello still resents his big brothers for abandoning him, each in their own way. He’s still bitter about all the extra weight he had to carry, without thanks or credit. He’s been stuck in place for the last two years, no outlet, no time for himself, and nobody on his team but Mikey, the one person Donnie has always been directly responsible for and could never bring himself to burden. He picked up an I.T. job he hated and stuck with it for longer than he should have, because he wouldn’t know how to quit something halfway if his life depended on it. His typically strong relationship with Raph—one that Leo’s secretly envied since they were kids—soured and left him without their hothead’s support. He had to figure out how to be a grown-up at the tender age of sixteen. 

Then Leo came back, expecting everything to be exactly how he left it. 

Of course Donnie’s angry. It’s no wonder he’s picking fights left and right. 

“You’re not being difficult, Don,” Leo says immediately, wishing, not for the first time, that Splinter had never sent him away. “If you want to scream and throw things at me, I think that would probably be more than fair.”

“I don’t want to do any of that,” Donnie replies wryly. He swivels his chair slightly, facing Leo again. There’s something grudgingly hopeful about him now—Leo’s little brother, trying to remember how to put his faith in Leo’s hands. 

It’s such a precious thing to hold. Leo can’t screw this up again. 

“You’ve worked out a pretty solid system while I was gone,” he says, bumping Donnie’s shoulder with his fist. “Can you show me the ropes?”

Give Donnie a chance to teach and he shines. Sure enough, he brightens a little. 

“We help April with acquisitions for her antique store on Thursdays. Do you want to come?” 

Leo heard about that from April. Apparently it’s more of a game than a chore, a city-wide scavenger hunt. He was hoping for an invitation but he wasn’t expecting one. He feels himself smile. 

Mikey, who has clearly been listening in, lowers his headphones and asks, “All four of us?”

That brings Donnie up short. Leo jumps in. 

“I told Raph I wanted us to do a team-building exercise sometime soon, and he said he’d be down for anything, as long as you two promised to go easy on him.” 

That’s exactly what he said, too—only he’d added, gruffly affectionate, ‘those tag-teaming little twerps.’ 

“Sound good?” Leo asks them warmly. 

Mikey beams. Donnie’s disagreeable outer shell begins to soften. By some miracle, Leo still knows how to do this. Two years wasn’t enough to overshadow a lifetime. 

It’s a privilege to sit in the lab, watching Donnie bring up files on his latest project, listening attentively to engineering and mechanics that go clean over his head. Mikey joins them at the desk and shows Leo the digital painting he’s been working on, chattering energetically about watercolor and composition and the new brush he’s obsessed with. 

Raph wanders in some time later with an apology in hand—drinks from the twins’ favorite coffee shop. He probably left right after breakfast to be back already. 

Donnie smiles after the first sip. Raph must have got it exactly right.

Leo lets his tea warm his hands and soaks up their company the way regular turtles bask in sunlight. 

Donnie and Mikey built a house in the empty space their brothers left behind. The door isn’t always open, but Leo and Raph can always knock. Maybe they could even live there together someday, once they remember how to be on each other’s team. 

Until then, Leo is willing to put in the work. It’s what he’s always done. 

He’ll do whatever it takes to get back home. 

[oddree13]

To Find a Kiss of Yours

[Read on AO3]

Steve remembers his first Valentine's Day. He was in first grade and spent the day prior decorating a shoebox to act as a makeshift mailbox. The next day the class had a party where all the cards were passed out, but throughout the gathering, girls came up to give him extra candy. One girl even kissed him on the cheek and ran off. 

Steve felt butterflies in his stomach for the first time that day and decided Valentine’s wasn’t all that bad. 

As the years went on, Steve looked forward to the holiday for reasons beyond extra candy. February 14 was used to fill the void of affection his parents were slowly taking from him.

And once Steve started middle school, and class-wide valentines were no longer mandatory, he realized the holiday was different for him than other boys. He’d get more cards and candy than some of his friends, and in seventh grade, a girl pulled Steve aside to let him know how much she liked him. Steve only knew the girl because they shared a couple of classes, but figured he should be polite and ask her out. After all, that is what all the boys around him would do. 

Years later Robin would unpack just how wrong this was to do. 

In short, Steve always looked forward to Valentine's Day and even kept a box under his bed where he kept his favorites - the standouts among the mass-printed, store-bought postcards that were delivered to Steve with a personal touch.

When he started Hawkins High a part of him was nervous that one of his steady sources of affection would dry up, but Steve found the exact opposite. The school encouraged the holiday by allowing students to send each other candy-grams and flowers throughout the day. Even among the students, there was a buzz. In the days leading up to V-day, photocopied maps of lockers would be passed around where people could write their friend’s name on it, in the hopes that it would encourage more personal gifts and confessions. 

In his four years at Hawkins High Steve’s name always made it on the map before he could write it. 

During his freshman year, Steve gets more than a few candy-grams in homeroom, prompting Tommy and Carol to tease him as they steal his candy. 

In between classes, he takes more trips than usual to his locker to collect the cards and notes left for him. Some are signed, some are just a phone number with a name and a lipstick print. Steve can’t help but get high off the constant reminders of want as the day goes on.

Needing to kill time before the bus towards Loch Nora arrives, Steve heads to his locker after basketball practice. Sure it could have waited until morning, but Steve’s never been a patient man. 

Inside his locker are a few more notes, but among the pink and pastels that have filled his vision all day, the crimson card stands out. He opens the front flap to find the card is actually an origami note, and not wanting to rip it, carefully unfolds the missive. 

His eyes are immediately pulled to the drawing at the bottom: a half-sun and half-moon face on a backdrop of stars. His eyes then wander up to the note to find not a letter, but a short poem - 

Some people say my love cannot be true Please believe me, my love, and I'll show you I will give you those things you thought unreal The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal

It takes Steve a few times to read it to get the gist of the meaning, and he can’t help but blush. Either the writer is talented or she copied someone. Either way, Steve knows this is making it into his special box. Before folding it back Steve’s eyes searched the page for a name or phone number, only to find a small “E” at the corner of the note. 

Steve spends the rest of the week wracking his brain for all the girls in his class and even the year above whose name starts with an E, even going so far as to approach a few of them. 

When he gets no answer other than a few dates he puts it out of his mind. 

*

Sophomore year is almost an identical repeat of the year before. Candygrams were delivered and stolen by Tommy and Carol. Notes stuffed in his locker, getting more lascivious as the day goes on. It seems his reputation preceded him, and there are more than a few propositions in letter form.

And just like the year before there is a crimson note waiting for him after practice. Steve wasn’t even anticipating the note, figuring it was a one-off from the year prior. But seeing it sitting on top of his books, Steve can’t help but ignore all the other letters and notes in favor of opening another message from E.

Like last time there’s a drawing, this time of a detailed headstone citing a kiss as the cause of death, the skull atop bearing a lip print. And just like the year before is a poem - 

To find a kiss of yours what would I give A kiss that strayed from your lips dead to love

Steve restarts his attempts to find E, only this time he goes for a more subtle approach, flirting with instead of confronting any girl whose name starts with the offending letter. 

It doesn’t end with Steve solving the mystery but does end with Steve going on dates with Elizabeth, Evelyn, Emily, and Erin. 

*

The Valentines of his junior year is an interesting one. Sure he’s been dating Nancy for almost three months now, but that doesn’t stop some very ambitious girls from sending candy and cards his way. He details each gift to Nancy as the day goes on because that's what a good boyfriend would do, right? And sure, he wishes Nancy would look more perturbed, but all he gets is small kisses on his cheek with her saying they can use the candy as dessert when she makes him dinner this weekend. 

The only thing Steve keeps to himself though is his hope for a third crimson note.

Sure Steve hasn’t gotten any luck with finding out who the sender is. And even if he did find out this year he couldn’t act on it. But there's something about the effort that Steve craves. That someone cares enough about Steve to write, draw, and fold the letter each year. 

And just like the years prior the note is there, drawing and all.

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well That, for all they care, I can go to hell, But on earth indifference is the least We have to dread from man or beast.   How should we like it were stars to burn With a passion for us we could not return? If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me.   Admirer as I think I am Of stars that do not give a damn, I cannot, now I see them, say I missed one terribly all day.   Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.

Not only is this year's poem longer, but the drawing also intrigues Steve. The picture is of a winged man, gazing up at the words written above him with an almost longing expression, while flames dance at his feet. Steve can’t help but examine the detail that went into the drawing, and even blushes at how handsome he is. 

So the next day when Nancy drags him to the library to study, he sneaks away to ask the librarian if she recognizes the poem (without showing her the note). She walks him over to the poetry section and hands him a collection of British poetry, turning to the section on W.H. Auden. 

Steve reads a brief description of the poem, about the unrequited love between the poet and the stars. He bitterly thinks that this love might not be unrequited if he could figure out who his secret admirer was. 

Years later Steve would realize two things - Indiana public school books didn't care to mention that W.H. Auden was gay and that he really should have looked at the checkout card inside the book cover.

* 

Steve contemplates staying home for the last Valentine's Day of his high school career. He's certain he won't get any grams now that he’s fallen from grace and taken no steps to climb back up. 

But despite how obnoxious sharing court with Hargrove is, basketball practice is the only thing keeping him sane as he counts down the days till graduation. 

Steve didn't even mean to go back to his locker that day not wanting to be disappointed by the lack of a crimson note. But he needs his notes to study for chemistry, and as he pulls out the binder the crimson letter falls to the floor. 

Steve can't help the way his heart clenches at the sight. How such a simple thing can remind him why he loves his holiday so much? 

He then figures that the sender. Must be someone in his grade if they've kept these notes coming all four years. 

Passing stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you, You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,) I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you, All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured, You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me , I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only, You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return, I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone, I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

Steve sinks onto the floor as he reads the poem over and over again. He can't help but smirk at how the bits about girls are stricken through, but also that it's a farewell of sorts. It leaves Steve with a bittersweet feeling to know he'll never find out the sender's identity. 

* 

Over piles of discount candy in 1986, Steve shares with Robin the details of the crimson notes tucked under his bed. Robin can't help but laugh as she looks through them pointing out to Steve how fucking homo erotic all the poems are. 

After a bit of denial, Steve finally admits that Robin may be right and kicks himself for only searching for girls back when he was in high school. Realizing he didn't bother to get a copy of the yearbook he asks Robin if he can come one day to search the pages at her house for clues. But a few weeks later literal hell breaks loose and he forgets all about it

Part of Steve wishes he actually bothered to get a copy of the yearbook so he could search the pages, but a few weeks later literal hell breaks loose and he forgets all about it

*

It's February 1987 and Steve is wondering how he's spending Valentine's Day Eve cleaning up his kitchen after the party wraps their D&D session for the night. 

Eddie is helping him tidy as he recounts how on the ride over to Steve's, Dustin was explaining how nervous he was about his radio date with Suzie the next day wanting to do something special but not cheesy. 

“I told him he should recite some poetry and he told me that's lame,” Eddie says in a way that expresses their mutual frustration with Henderson. 

“It's not lame. If it's done right,” Steve agrees. 

“The little shit then told me that metal lyrics don't count as poetry and I told him that I know more than just metal lyrics.” 

Steve can't help but look amused and gestures for Eddie to regale him with a poem. 

Eddie clears his throat and begins, “To find a kiss of yours what I would give…”

“A kiss that strayed from your lips...dead to love,” Steve finishes unthinking. After all, he read those words hundreds of times. 

That's when it clicks for Steve. The E written in the corner of all those notes stood for Eddie. 

Eddie's eyes catch Steve's and he visibly swallows. His complexion pails and he looks like he's about to run for it, but Steve sputters out his confession. 

“I kept them all.” 

Eddie's eyes widened even further at that as if he couldn't believe what Steve was saying.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Want to see them? They're in my room.”

“That's quite a line, Harrington”

“Well not all of us can be poets.”

[mousemilf]

i feel like seeing the world through actions rather than character seems like you're subconsciously distant and dissociated from yourself; as though some deep-seated insecurity or anxiety about an inherent personality trait means that you place value specifically on behavior and not personality.

for example, is a person artistic simply because they make art, or are they compelled to make art because they have this specific inexplicable draw and desire to do so? would someone who was not innately kind or interested in being kind "do" kind things?

which innate trait were you born with that drives you to assume that different opinions must stem from a psychological issue?

anyway, no, i am not innately artistic. nobody (or everybody, which is essentially the same thing) is. i bothers me that we treat art as so much more sacred than other human activities. would you say the same about someone whos hobby is collecting funko pops? are they driven by an inexplicable desire to collect shit figurines?

making art is something i know how to do. its a skill ive acquired, like cooking or driving a car. to attribute it to an innate talent would be to erase the years of study and practice ive put in. if its more initially rewarding because i have any natural advantage, it might be that i have pretty good fine motor skills, but thats a neutral physical trait like my height or weight, which i dont glean any meaningful identity from either. but maybe that initial aptitude led to more satisfaction, encouragement etc which has naturally caused me to think about art more than someone who did not start with that immediate small advantage.

ive had the privilege of teaching hobby painting classes to people who are not skilled and would not consider themselves "artistic," and everybodys reactions when they learn a new technique and make something they thought they couldnt is proof to me that art making is rewarding to *everybody,* not just a special class of divinely ordained creatives. i fundamentally do not believe that i am unique for finding art fulfilling. it feels good to make stuff. thats just human.

as far as kindness goes, if there are intrinsically kind people, it would follow that there are intrinsically unkind people, right? people who are born without kindness as an innate trait... so then what would be the point of trying to rehabilitate people whove committed violent crimes? if they dont have that inherent drive for kindness that innately kind people do, then it would be hopeless, right?

if we can neatly divide people into categorically kind and categorically unkind people i guess it would be much easier for us kind people (im at least flattered that you assume id be on that side of the dichotomy) to like, just be confident that we are morally in the right and not ever have to question the actual impact of our behavior since our intentions are good by virtue of this innate trait we were born with. sure whatever.

assigning importance to intentions and feelings rather than actions and their impact is like very yuckydisgusting to me. like i said in my reblog right before this, if kind thoughts were enough to make someone a kind person, then negative thoughts would be enough to make someone a bad person. silly and obviously wrong. i've fantasized about all kinds of destructive actions, but it literally does not matter at all, the only important thing is my choice not to act on those fantasies.

wanting or trying to be a kind person does not make someone a kind person. some of the nastiest motherfuckers ive ever met were constantly agonizing over whether they were a good person and looking for reassurance that they hadnt done wrong. yet they continued to act selfishly and harm people around them. their desire to be kind did jack shit.

but yeah, i do place value specifically on behavior because thats the only part of personality that meaningfully exists to literally anybody outside of your brain. basically. i think thats the main point of all of this.

[sitp-recs]

3 Tacky shorts to read this week

I ran against time to get this post out before midnight ET but am still a bit late 🥲 I know T won’t mind so here’s my belated gift to my sun and stars, my first and dearest partner in crime @tackytigerfic! T, I have no words to describe how much I appreciate our friendship. It’s been so special to experience this fandom with you in the last few years. I love that we immediately hit off and share one stupid brain cell when it comes to these idiots; it feels like we’ve known each other forever and 24 hours (especially living so far apart) is not enough to talk fic, headcanons, kinks, squicks and all other irl and existencial topics with you. Navigating such a big fandom can be really scary but even when nobody knew me I’d never feel lonely, invisible or like I had to pretend to be someone else, because I had you by my side. Thank you so so much for being my safe harbour, my sicko soulmate, my confidant, my role model and my biggest cheerleader!

As I thought of new ways to celebrate your day I tried to remember which fics I hadn’t written a rec for. I came to realize that I was never able to put my thoughts into words when it comes to my 3 favorite short fics of yours. They got me in such a Drarry fever, a tingling incoherent state of emotional devastation that I immediately put away the idea of doing recs because there was no possible way to translate my raw, ugly and chaotic feels about them. I tend to do this with fics that leave me with the so-called hangover once I’m done; funnily enough, the last time this happened - when I read Lettered’s By the Grace - it was you who helped me get that rec out by reviewing it and cheering me along the way, tysm 🥹 now it’s time to respond in kind and share love for these short gems that I have the privilege to revisit every time I need some comfort food. Lucky me, it turns out my best pal writes the exact brand of tender romance that checks all of my boxes. You are a fantastic friend and such a brilliant, talented writer. I love and admire you, and I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved. Can’t wait to see what comes next. Happy day T! 💜

👩‍🚀 Far Side + Relic Radiation (M, 1.7k)

Draco goes into space, leaving behind his son Scorpius (who has just started at Hogwarts, at least), and his not-quite-boyfriend Harry Potter. But Harry can't stop loving Draco just because he's approximately 408km up, in constant orbit.

“You’ll kill that plant,” Draco said, and flicked a lazy charm over the pot with his fingers so the spicy smell of the lavender sharpened the night air.

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

When I say the heart kick factor may hit you in the solar plexus when you least expect, this is what I’m talking about. I’ve obsessed so much over these 2 tiny shorts with single dad!Draco (one of the tropes Tacky does magic with, they are so disgustingly romantic and emotionally satisfying - gimme T’s dad!Draco anthology or give me nothing!!!) that I came up with a whole theory to prove these stories are actually connected. Whether I’m on the right track or just another delusional reader it’s yet to be seen 🤣 Draco’s devotion to baby Scorpius - and Harry’s gentle yearning for the both of them - does things to my poor heart I can’t quite put into words. Let that boy have his found family happy ending, damn it. Every time I reread these gems I get teared up and wish I could stay in this verse forever, watching Scorp grow while these two lovely men find each other time and again. To make your heart melt a bit more, check the breathtaking artwork by the one and only @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm. I cannot— *cries in Drarry*

🏜️ Between the Power Lines (M, 3k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

In New Orleans, they got drunk on Bourbon Street, and Malfoy danced on his own (arms bare, laughing; Harry could have watched him all night) and later on, so late it was almost morning, they let themselves into the St Louis Cemetery—Malfoy unpicking the lock so sweetly—and walked around until the sky was pink-edged with the promise of another day’s heat. Then they sat on the steps of a crypt, watched over by sightless eyes of the statue of an angel. She looked exhausted rather than sad, Harry thought, and that made a lot of sense when he thought about his own longstanding, dull-edged grief.

The best word to describe this (literally) hot fic is “atmospheric”. T does a flawless job building impeccable Americana vibes and packing so much story while keeping it 100% character-driven. I love the elegant, contained, confident writing, I love the evocative prose and how the mutual attraction bleeds through these quiet but intense road trip vignettes. The scenario is rich and immersive, the heat so palpable you can almost taste it, and the confession at the end is my definition of peak romance. A whole sensorial experience, both introspective and exciting, vibrant and melancholy, packed within 3k. Absolutely genius.

🎯Aim For My Heart (M, 3.4k)

Harry's in love, Ron's in control, and Draco just wants a nice lunch. They say three's a crowd, but Harry doesn't always agree. Not when he gets to be in the middle, anyway.

Neither of them had asked Harry what he likes best about them, but Harry watches them and feels the sick curl of excitement low in his belly, like something lost and gained all at once, and he wonders what he’d say if they did ask; would it be mouth or hands or arse, the gleam of clean hair or the hidden scent of a freshly-revealed patch of skin, blue eyes or grey? He doesn’t think he’d tell them what he really loves the most, and that’s the fact that both of them have been his for such a long time, in one way or another, and he loves that he gets to keep them.

For reference, this will always be the Dronarry classic I refer to when I think about this ship. The way Tacky explored the implications and complications of a triad relationship in its early stages (I am so fucking weak for that mix of want, jealousy and vulnerability) combined with exquisite characterization is so well executed I could cry. Beyond that banger of a starting line (“Big hands,” Draco says, and blushes) that made me blush and squeal in delight, Harry’s POV is a triumph. He’s genuinely lovely and relatable in all his yearning and insecurities, soft and longing for both Draco and Ron. The ideia of him realizing that he gets to be loved by, and keep the two people he loves the most in the world, makes my heart burst with warmth. I can pinpoint all the small, quiet but meaningful moments that made my breath stutter and my heart beat faster. This fic is a masterclass in elaborating complex and conflicting emotions, while solving them with a light hand of tenderness and understanding. It is subtle but efficient and all-encompassing in a way that stays with you for a long time after you’ve finished reading. The perfect triad fic.

[asphaltvalkyrie]

I had an extremely slow day at work today, so I chose to look busy by writing about BG3. Someone smarter than me has probably had this revelation before, but it gave me pause enough for me to feel like I need to share it.

I decided to romance Gale in my 2nd playthrough, with the intent of letting him get ahold of the Crown of Karsus, and its making me Feel Things.  I like this walking apocalypse of a wizard a lot (he and Karlach are my easy faves,) but its taken romancing him to really see that

tl;dr Gale's backstory really makes a handy allegory for gifted kid burnout.

From the beginning he was special, a golden child, someone who would do great things and go far. So, he ended up building his entire personality on that eventuality.  Older authority figures took a special interest in his talent and he immediately wanted nothing more than to please them, at the cost of making friends or learning life skills (well, except cooking apparently?) 

(Then there's the whole issue of him developing a sexual relationship with Mystra who was without a doubt considerably older than he was and had that "but he's so mature for his age," mindset and all the fuckery that comes with that holy shit I can't even begin to desconstruct how much that would fuck someone up.)

Then he makes a mistake. He breaks a rule he didn't know existed. Why doesn't he know that rule existed?  Because no one told him.  They conflated his intelligence with maturity and his self-confidence with knowing his own limits. They forgot that he's basically a kid compared to them. (Elminster is what, centuries old?  And Mystra is a fucking deity.) He lacks the emotional maturity to understand why what he did was so bad. 

Gifted kids know.  Among the absolute worst thing an adult can say to you is "I expected more of you," or "you should have known better." Which is pretty much what Elminster and Mystra said to him. And then they not only withdrew their attentions and support, but they also refused  to help him deal with the orb - an omnipresent physical and spiritual reminder of his trangression. After that... he just has no idea what to do with himself. He sits in his wizard tower until the Mind Flayers get him.

By the time the others find him, he's realized that the talent he used to get by on no longer serves him, but since he built his whole personality around it, he doesn't know how else to act.  So he maintains the bluff and bluster of a child prodigy, but he's now keenly aware of how pointless it is. He seems insufferably arrogant at times, but there's a razor-fine edge of self-loathing to that arrogance that he couches in self-aware humor. Over the course of his short time with the party he starts to feel like he's cared for and among friends, and even proves himself an attentive, affectionate and very grateful partner if you romance him.

Then Elminster shows up and tells him to atone for what he did by suicide bombing the Elder Brain. Bam, there goes his hope of finding a life outside of that "greatness" others told him he was destined for.  Once a gifted kid always a gifted kid.  Destined to be a human sacrifice on the altar of someone else's expectations, for good or ill. 

And in a semi-related note, when you take him through the Dryad's trial, the answer to the question "whats his biggest flaw" is that "he thinks the world would be better off with him dead" and he says that its very true, but he didn't realize it until you said it.

Then you find the Annals of Karsus, and what does he say he wants to do with it? Reforge the Crown of Karsus with it so that he can obtain godlike power and make the world better for mortals, and he wants to share it with you.  With how smart he is, he really should know thats a terrible idea. But he doesn't, because of a combination of hubris and naivete.  He learned absolutely zero lessons from the orb debacle because he hasn't really been allowed to learn any lessons beyond "I just have to do the thing I'm good at, only I have to try harder this time."

I'm only on the second netherstone, but I have a feeling that this is going to end very badly.

[127luvr]

hiii ⭐️

i really liked the last mark fic cause he really is the type to guess your mood just by your lyrics or how you sing and dance. so can i request something like that?

like, you’re doing some freestyle and he’s watching you like :( cause he feels you’re down and then he comforts you 🥺

Black Clouds

Mark Lee x Male Reader

The set is familiar—like you’ve seen it before in another video that Johnny’s made. But now it had been refurbished, the old brown wood painted flush with a rich black color that still felt tacky to the touch. You turned away from the wall, catching Mark’s brown eyes as you regroup with the three other members that sat around the table. He looks down shyly, turning visibly pink as you to stare in between his eyebrows—scared to look into his eyes again.

“Welcome back to JCC everyone! We’re here with—”

“Mark!”

“Jaehyun!”

“(Y/n).” You feel the air shift at your introduction—it was short and cold as you looked down at the pattern on the table. Now all eyes were on you, followed by half of the crew that surrounded the set. Their eyes felt like beady little cameras—watching to judge—to catch a single mistake in how you carry yourself.

“And Haechan!” Immediately the mood goes back to how it was before you announced yourself—the suddenly bright atmosphere leaving you with a bitter feeling in your chest. “It’s been a while since I’ve appeared in JCC and it’s (Y/n/n)’s first time! How are you feeling?”

Again, all eyes fall on you. You feel the whites of your eyes stinging as you focused all of your attention on the microphone in front of you. It reminded you of Johnny and Jaehyun’s Nct Night Night show. This set was much smaller—you would even bet that it was less than half the size of their old studio. The first time you had visited them was when you were a trainee. Having tagged along with Mark since he had invited you. Last time they happily included you in the segment, making you feel comfortable enough to freestyle on the spot.

This time just felt different. The hold your depressive episode had on you was strong enough to not let you enjoy anything. It kept you from being present in the moment with your members—kept you from being happy that Johnny asked you specifically to join his new video.

“I’m feeling grateful, Haechannie. To be here with you guys is more than enough.” Johnny coos, smiling with his eyes as he motions you to continue. “It’s been a hard couple of years you know? What with the pandemic and the uncertainty of my debut, but we got through it—you guys are forever stuck with me.” While the sentiment was there, you felt as if you just performing—putting on a show. Saying things you knew the viewers would want to hear. Your body physically was here—sure—but your mind was elsewhere. Still in the unmade bed in the room that you shared with Mark.

Mark—who kept trying to catch your eyes just once as you kept quiet throughout the filming process. Only laughing when the others laughed and clapping whenever they clapped. He furrowed his eyebrows, trying to steer the conversation away from you as he felt the melancholy ooze from you and your slouched posture. He kept the others busy—too busy to notice how the cameras only followed them and the sound of their voices rather than focusing on your own sullen demeanor. It felt like a stab at your heart. His kindness making your longing feel even worse as he tried his hardest to help you when you felt the most helpless. But that was Mark for you.

“Now, before wrapping this up, we had a special guest on Nct Night Night a few years ago. He did this freestyle rap for us on the spot and it stuck with me even now. One of our most talented. I’m hoping you say yes when I ask you to do another for us? Only if you’re comfortable, of course.” You feel tense, the sincerity behind Jaehyun’s words falling on your ears but not processing in your brain. You were glad to have made such an impression on them but you were such a different (Y/n) now compared to just a few years ago—hell, compared to a few weeks ago even. With a shy nod, you tap on the mic, making sure it was still on after not having said anything for the better part of an hour.

“Of course. That memory has stuck with me too, Jaehyun-ssi. It was when I knew this group would be perfect for me.” You cleared your throat, doing mock vocal warmups with Johnny as they all cheered you on. Finally, your eyes meet Mark’s—who looks at you like a deer caught in headlights. “Mark, do you mind just beatboxing for me? Whatever is fine—I know you’ll come up with something genius.” And just like that he begins with a slow beat, giving you long half notes before transitioning into quick eighth notes. “It’s like staring down the barrel of a gun—where my life had just begun—”

The rest of the lyrics are forgotten. A thing of the past as you reach the end of your rhymes and metaphors. There was no need to memorize them for a song, knowing you could never express how you feel so intimately with others—such as fans. A beat passes, the members stunned into silence before bursting into a round of applause for you.

“Wow. Still the same amazing lyricist as before—”

“Is it okay if I step out for a second?”

The lights in the restrooms are no better than the ones on set—in actuality, they made you feel worse as you leaned your back into the cool wall between the mirror and the hand dryer. You took in slow deep breaths, closing your eyes as you tried to talk yourself down from spiraling any further.

“Hey.” Mark’s voice startled you, causing a shiver to run through your whole body before you settled back into a comfortable position. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you—I could go back, if you’d like.” You grab at the hand closest to you, pulling at Mark’s wrist so he’s just mere centimeters away from you. “Johnny said he could exclude that whole part of the video if you’d like. He also wanted me to tell you not to feel too guilty. We could refilm whenever you felt better.” Mark reciprocates your hold on him, grabbing your waist his his free hand and rubbing small circles into it.

He pulls you into a hug, done with pushing his feelings down when all he’s wanted to do all day was be next to you. To trace the wrinkles in your palm under the table to soothe you and help you through the recording. He’s never felt more at home than he does in your arms as you wrap them around his hips, settling in to his warmth and letting your body relax into his. It was as if you molded perfectly together—like puzzle pieces.

“I’m so tired, Mark. I don’t know how much longer I can go on feeling like this. I don’t even know what this is—I’m perfectly fine. Physically I’m healthy, nothing went wrong I just feel like shit. How do I stop feeling like I don’t deserve to be here?” Without warning you feel yourself shaking, shedding angry tears into Mark’s shoulder as he held you, hands running up and down your back.

“I’m sorry baby. I wish I could tell you how to get through it faster but everyone heals differently. I wish I could just snap my fingers and get rid of all the sadness you have experienced. You know, if only the world functioned like that.” Sensing your quietness he stops joking around—pulling your head up with both of his large hands. He is forcing you to face him. Your red eyes swollen as he looks down at you with parted pink lips. “You did so great in there, (Y/n). You tried your hardest to be present with us regardless of what you’ve had to fight in your own mind.”

You can’t help but start crying again—scared to let go of Mark as if he would disappear from right in front you of. Not that it matters—he would have never done that you.

[vodika-vibes]

Arachne is not getting the nickel version so now she has to sit and listen to these terrifying villains explain Everything Wrong

Vod’ika I’m trying to keep track of all my questions here you know . . . 😅

Victor Von Doom has someone to monologue too, and he's going to take advantage of it. It helps, I suppose, that Arachne is a spider rather than a member of the Fantastic Four.

And also, hehehe~ There's some angst at the bottom, just fyi.

Meanwhile, on Coruscant- "Let go of me!" Dogma spits out, struggling against his brothers, trying to get to the glass and metal coffin that his Arachne is sleeping in, "Let-" Fives throws his weight over Dogma, joining Echo and Jesse in restraining him, "Come on, vod." Fives tries, "Kix is checking on her now. See?" There's a laugh from the opposite side of the room and the look up at the man standing there, "There's no need to worry. She's just having the sweetest dream. She might not ever want to wake up." There's a look on contempt on his face, "And you were foolish enough to come here without a jedi. So you'll be joining her soon enough." At the same time, in Manhattan- Doctor Doom's voice is like a drill, boring into her brain as he drones on and on and one- Stars, and you thought that Rhino was bad about monologuing. "Okay!" Arachne finally interrupts when he pauses to take a breath, "So, basically, my options to end this simulation or whatever are to die or to break it." "Exactly so." "Great! So, how far do I have to go to break the simulation from the inside?" "As far as you can," Doc Ock says, "Though, it really would be easier to let us kill you." "Yeahhh...I'm not doing that." She opens her mouth to say something else when the building above rattles with an explosion. Fisk, largely ignored until this point, turns to the room at large, "The Avengers are here." Arachne watches as the men around her done their battle gear, and then she yelps as the Green Goblin grabs her around the wrist, "Time for you to go." She's barely able to pull her mask on before she's being flung away from the battle between the Avengers and a lot of the super villains. "Oh boy." She breathes out as she turns and flings herself towards the Brooklyn Bridge, "Good thing this isn't real or the damages would be astronomical-" Arachne is halfway across the bridge when an arrow cuts through her web, causing her to fall to the ground. She lands, hard, on the ground, and immediately rolls over to her feet. "Working with Fisk now, are you Arachne?" Captain America asks as he stalks towards her with several other Avengers on his feels. "Well," She replies as she lowers herself to the ground, her gaze darting in every direction to look for an escape, "Needs must and all. You know how it is." His eyes are cold, and Arachne's heart sinks. She's never, ever, wanted to fight Captain America. "Surrender Arachne." "Oh, you have no idea how much I wish I could." She replies. "...so be it." Arachne's mind races, she needs to remove Iron Man from the field first and then focus on Captain America. Or else this is going to be a very short fight. Arachne is a very talented fighter. She's been heroing since she was 13 years old...however, the Avengers have both number and experience on her. Even so, the fight lasts longer than any of them expect. And then Hawkeye gets a lucky shot, and she goes down. Her head thumps aganint the concrete and she probably could get up, she probably could keep fighting. Her gaze drifts to Captain America, looming over her, and then drift back to the blue skies of Earth. She really, really hopes Victor was right about this. Captain America lifts his shield, holding onto the edges. Arachne keeps her gaze locked on the sky, "I was glad to see them. One more time." She whispers. He brings the shield down. She closes her eyes. Captain America's shield is embedded in the concrete of the Brooklyn Bridge, blood splattered across the white ring of his shield.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Hello! I hope you have an amazing morning/day/afternoon/night. I´ve read the latest chapter of your S.O.S fanfic and I wanted to say I am a big fan! I really like how every chapter is following each episode of the show with your own take/elaboration on certain scenes, for example when you added the conversation between Sticky and his aunt, which wasn´t in the show. And many many other scenes. Oh, and the whole backstory for Curtain and his former friends/colleagues, it is just ingenious. Truly a brilliant masterpiece. You are a very talented writer. :) I am very much looking forward to the next update. Oh and I can not express enough how I love the Oldest Siblings fanfic! You wrote each of the siblings perspectives so well! And alI the Benedict siblings angst and feels. I am thriving on that content. It is such a serotonin boost. :D

Also, speaking about Benedict siblings, I have a few headcanons about them, that have been floating around my mind for quite some time. These are absolutely not thorougly thought-out, just what my brain proposed to me one fine early morning at 3 am instead of letting me sleep *deep sigh*

This one is based on a dialogue between the children in a first chapter of the S.O.S when I think either Reynie or Sticky mentioned, that they have seen Nathaniel in his brother´s library organizing books, trying to put some kind of order to the chaos. Nathaniel would defininitely do that. It is in his nature. I think he would totally opt for Dewey decimal system. Nice, practical, efficient. But, I also like to think, he would make some changes to it quite frequently. Like one week the library would be organized by author A-Z, next week the other way around. Then weeks after that by genre, color, book height, subject etc. Poor Nicholas would kindly ask his twin to stop, but to no avail.

We know that each twin adopted a child. Nathaniel adopted SQ and Nicholas adopted Constance (although she declined, but it was legally approved as we have seen Nicholas holding the documents at the end of the first season) Their sister on the other hand would have a biological child, a daughter named Felicity about 13-14 years old. Sister´s spouse sadly doesn´t live with them anymore, (he either left them or passed away, I haven´t decided on that quite yet), Felicity doesn´t remerber her dad very much because it happened, when she was very young.

I think it goes without saying that both the sister and her daughter would be brilliant and would possess a great intellect like the brothers do. It just runs in the family.

Their sister would also suffer from narcoleptic episodes, her trigger would probably be intense sadness (as opposed to Nicholas´ trigger being joy). Felicity does not suffer from it though.

Sister introduces her daughter to her brothers. I can imagine that Nicholas would collapse from the rush of joy and happiness, eyes filled with tears all that, at the perspective of being an uncle, Nathaniel would immediately catch his brother on instinct. Only for him to collapse a few seconds after Nicholas, because of his vulnerability trigger and basically going through the same emotional experience. Their niece would tried to hold back a sob as she would take comfort in knowing that she had just met two father figures in her life (Both brothers would be an amazing uncles ). Meanwhile her mother falls asleep because if her own trigger. Felicity immediately takes action and puts a pillow under everyone´s heads to ensure comfort as she waits for them to wake up, It is a very emotional event for each party involved to say the least.

And that´s the end of mine take on the matter. I previously had more headcanons which were much more detailed, but I forgot to put them on paper or type them in my computer. Oh, well. Maybe they will come to me. Anyway, thank you for reading all that and I hope it wasn´t too long. I do apologize for my grammar and weird wording at times. English is not my native language.

Okay, first of all, I'm so sorry for the late reply to this message, but I hope it's a good one, because this ask means the world to me. 🥹💕

I came home exhausted from a long day of work and classes and logged into tumblr to this and it absolutely made my entire evening. I'm serious. I gotta hand to y'all. Just when I think that the comments I've gotten on my SOS fic can't get anymore heartwarming and incredible, you leave me this comment, which...I mean, first of all, do not apologize for your grammar and wording, your message was perfect. I'm sorry if I forget words or if this sounds weird, I'm pretty tired and kind of rambling, but please know that I am flattered by this. I have had people draw fan art based on my fic, make a personality quiz based on my fic, do chapter by chapter tumblr reviews of my fic, leave fabulously unhinged comments on fic, and message me just to tell me how much my fic means to them, and every time I am absolutely flattered and at a loss for words and say to myself that this is the highest honor I could ever receive and nothing will ever top this and yet you wonderful wonderful readers prove me wrong every single time. I mean...the account you sent this ask from is only following staff and looks like a new account, and if you wanted this to be anonymous, you presumably would have just sent your ask from a main and hit the anon button instead of making a throw away, so...

Did...did you get??? A tumblr??? Just to message me this??? I- I-just- 🥹💓💓💓

Luna, (I hope you don't mind if I call you that based on your username), thank you so much. I wish I had better words to describe how much your message and the messages of everyone else in this amazing fandom mean to me, but I just don't have the words to do it justice. Please know that I love your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed SOS and The Oldest Siblings (the lesser known SOS prequel that inspired my unhinged masterpiece, thank you for giving it some love🥰). I'm also glad you liked the backstory and added scenes. They wormed their way into my head and I figured "as long as their here, why not share them?" and I'm very glad I did. I'm also glad I decided to type out some scenes from the show. It's not all of it (that would be too much), but I was originally only going to include the content that I added to seasons 1 and 2 (because other wise I was just repeating stuff and the fic is crazy long anyway), but I eventually decided to include my own takes on most relevant (adult or SOS character focused) canon scenes from the show as well, because I realized that doing so helped the reader follow the timeline of events and kept up with and explained each character's motivation, which is important to do when you have this many characters. I'm also glad because now that the show is off Disney+, you have a place you can read the dialogue from some of the scenes (not all, but it's something. And all the dialogue and body movements are from the canon show for those scenes. All I add are extra lines at the beginning or end of scenes before or after "cuts" and internal character thoughts that explain their actions).

I love your head canons btw. The one about Nathaniel is very true. At least in my fic. He's a nervous organizer, and there's no way he could live in the chaos of the Benedict house without cleaning up a bit.

As for your head canons about the sister's child...I love it. I love the twist of her being her biological daughter and having narcolepsy. Also, depending on how old you head canon SQ (in my fic he's a bit older, but he's around 14-19), they're pretty close in age, and I know SQ and Constance would be great cousins to her!

Slight possible spoilers for future works, but I have toyed with the idea of the sister having a child as well. I can't give anymore away without spoiling stuff, but I think you might like what I decide to do with it. (If I can ever get to that point). I do want to apologize, I just went back to school, and that has been taking up a lot of my time. But I promise I'm still writing, and although I can't say when, the updates will come. And, while you are on tumblr, I have some mutuals who write some really great stuff you can read in the meantime. I won't annoy everyone by tagging them, but if you scroll through the blog @floorboardchompingfridays, you should be able to find some good ones.

Thank you again for this message. It made my entire day, and I hope you have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening and remember take care of yourself. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

^This gif is me hugging all of you, btw.

[blahblahblahoohrottmnt]

TW: ||blood, bad self talk, abusive behavior, sh||

INFECTION AU

This infection causes the user to use their talents until they physically and mentally attack themselves. This infection usually occurs in organisms with a lot of stress. I say organisms because yes, animals can catch this infection too. And it affects humans the most. And, as you all know, ROTTMNT brothers are anthropomorphic animals so it affects them harder than anything else

Time for the symptoms! Early symptoms: talking to themselves as they work, being passive-aggressive when someone tries to stop them from using their powers, rude behavior. Stage 1: Isolated, screaming when they do something wrong, starts realizing they’re infected. Stage 2: talking to themselves to stop, no control of their bodies, using their talents more. Stage 2 (if they have powers): using powers to try to stop themselves, hurting themselves because of their efforts. Stage 3: No control of their bodies, over exertion of powers/talent, extreme exhaustion, body responding to the physical abuse (pale, thin, slow). Stage 4: mental state is at 0 and they talk to themselves (conflicted between stopping and continuing because the infection is moving to their brain), uncontrollable grinning and stress, internal conflict, high tension. Stage 5 (final): it’s either death or they get cured.

NOW FOR THE BROTHERS!

Donnie: Early - thinks he’s fine (because that’s what he always does). Stage 1 - slowly realizing but still thinks he’s fine. Stage 2 - trying to find a cure and using the infection to his advantage (he’s using the infection to make him work hard on the cure as science is his talent). Stage 3 - gets to mentally rest because their body is working without his control. Stage 4 - using his power more and more to get the cure right. Stage 5 - cured

Leo: Early Symptoms - immediately feels as if something is wrong. Stage 1 - Goes to Donnie to realize he’s infected too. Stage 2 - cutting himself with his katanas to get him to stop. Stage 3 - portal-ing uncontrollably. Stage 4 - can’t get a break, losing hope. Stage 5 - almost dies from either blood loss from blood coughing / s3lf h4rm from the infection but gets cured by Donnie

Raph: Early symptoms - same as Donnie. Stage 2 - notices he’s training much more and thinks it’s a good thing. Stage 3 - keeps telling himself “I need to keep training. My brothers need me. April needs me. They will die without me. I’m sorry. I need more. I need to do more.” Stage 4 - brothers can’t get near him because of his powerful punches and mystic powers, coughing up blood from overexertion . Stage 5 - dead…but revived later.

Mikey: none! He’s immune! He’s the hope for Donnie :D. He’s also the reason Raph is revived.

April: moved to another city but keeps in touch to help spread the cure. Sadly can’t go home

Splinter: dead…and the first to spread the infection

Baron Draxum and Big Mama: helping Donnie spread the cure (Baron Draxum: Mass production. Big Mama: campaign)

The Jones: got infected but cured by Donnie (early stages only aka Early and Stage 1), accidentally scarred each other because of the infection

How it spreads: bites, bodily fluids, cuts, inhalation, insects

[the-rewatch-rewind]

New episode! Script below the break.

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most rewatched movies. Today I will be discussing #36 on my list: Disney’s 2013 animated musical Frozen, directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee, written by Jennifer Lee, from a story by Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee, and Shane Morris inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Snow Queen”, and featuring the voice talents of Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff, Josh Gad, and Santino Fontana.

Frozen is the story of two royal sisters. The older, Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel), has ice powers that she doesn’t know how to control. As a child, she accidentally injured her younger sister, Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell), who was healed by trolls but has no memory of Elsa’s powers. On Elsa’s coronation day, the palace gates are opened for the first time in years, and Anna meets Prince Hans of the Southern Isles (Santino Fontana) and is immediately smitten. But asking for Elsa’s blessing of their marriage leads to a fight that causes Elsa to unintentionally unleash her powers. Terrified, Elsa runs away, leaving the whole kingdom frozen. Anna goes after her and teams up with mountain man Kristoff (Jonathan Groff), his reindeer Sven, and a magical snowman created by Elsa named Olaf (Josh Gad) to bring back summer, and her sister.

I remember seeing teasers for this movie that made it look like it was about a snowman and a reindeer chasing each other around an ice rink, which seemed very boring. But my sister and I decided to give it a chance and see it in theaters. It had only been out for a couple of days, so we had vaguely heard that people seemed to be liking it, but we still didn’t really know what it was about, let alone how popular it would become. And I know I’m about 10 years too late with this advice, but I highly recommend experiencing Frozen for the first time in a crowded theater, before the hype, with no expectations, next to your sister with whom you have a close relationship. Truly one of my top 5 best cinematic experiences ever. I think I probably would still love this movie even if I’d been introduced to it in a less powerful way, but that first viewing has certainly impacted the way I feel about the movie to this day.

I still remember exactly how I felt when I heard and saw Let It Go for the first time. The song started and it was like, yes, good, an Idina Menzel number, I love Wicked, I’m here for this. And then that first “The cold never bothered me anyway” when she throws off her cloak gave me chills. My brain went, “Oh wow. This isn’t just a song, it’s a FEELING.” And it just. kept. escalating. as Elsa’s confidence grew and she could finally be herself for the very first time. By the end of the number, I was either in tears or too overwhelmed with emotion to even cry, I can’t remember which. Some kid a few rows behind us murmured, “Wow, she’s…way prettier than I thought.” And maybe I was just projecting the way I felt, but to me it sounded like the kid was really saying, “Something needs to be said here, but I can’t find the words.” It’s not that I’d never been moved by a musical number before, but this took it to the next level. And all of this is almost embarrassing for me to admit now, because Let It Go then became one of the most overplayed songs of all time and everyone got sick of it, but listen. It was overplayed for a reason. It’s an epic song, and Idina Menzel frickin kills it. I still stand by this.

Looking back on my other thoughts as I watched Frozen unfold for the first time shows me just how much amatonormativity – the idea that everyone wants and needs a long-term monogamous romantic partner – had affected me. I still thought I was straight, although my standard justification of “I’m not into dating yet but I’m sure I will be when I’m older” was feeling less and less valid, as I was then 23 years old. Anyway, I distinctly remember, during Love Is an Open Door, which is the song that Hans and Anna sing to each other soon after they meet, that my sister and I turned to each other and whispered, “I ship it.” And then Kristoff got thrown into the story, and I was conflicted, because I really liked Anna with him, too. I started thinking maybe Elsa would end up with Hans. And then Elsa wounded Anna’s heart with her ice, which only an act of true love could heal, and it did not even occur to me that that could be anything other than a romantic kiss. I thought Kristoff would bring her back to Hans, she would kiss him but it wouldn’t do anything, and that’s when she’d realize her true love was actually Kristoff. But while I was expecting things to not work out between Anna and Hans, I was NOT expecting Hans to be cruel, so his “Oh Anna, if only there was someone out there who loved you” was shocking and devastating. I thought the scene when Olaf rescues her and explains that “some people are worth melting for” was beautiful – the snowman was far less obnoxious than I’d been anticipating – but even then it never occurred to me that Anna would be cured by anything other than kissing Kristoff. And then. Fighting the blizzard and the ice spreading through her body, almost reunited with her romantic true love, Anna sees Hans draw a sword against Elsa. I’m sure if I’d been able to think clearly in that moment, I would have finally figured out what was coming, but all I could do was gape at the screen as Anna changed course and saved her sister instead. And with hindsight, duh, that was the act of true love, but for a second or two I legitimately thought she was now permanently frozen. And, like, here’s the thing. I’ve loved Disney movies as long as I can remember, so I’m not trying to insult them. But the studio that made Snow White and Sleeping Beauty and The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast and Enchanted had so thoroughly convinced me that when you need love to break a spell, it must be romantic and almost always involves a kiss, that I couldn’t even imagine that a Disney film would ever treat saving a family member’s life as powerful enough for that. But Frozen did. Frozen went there. While I was sitting next to my wonderful sister, one of the most important people to me, this movie showed me that it’s okay for sisterly love to be the most powerful thing in your life. So at that point I definitely cried.

As far back as I can remember, the overemphasis on romance in movies has bothered me, but until then I thought I just had to accept it. Falling in romantic love was a universal human experience, so everyone said; naturally people wanted to tell stories about it. Obviously I’d seen movies, even Disney movies like Mary Poppins and Emperor’s New Groove, that didn’t have love stories before. But a Disney PRINCESS movie, that HAD romantic love, but showed a character actively CHOOSING a non-romantic loved one over a romantic one, and saving herself in the process??? That was mind-blowing. Even though I didn’t know I was aroace at the time, I knew I loved that message. So as my sister and I left the theater, we could not praise this movie enough, and for weeks and months afterward, I couldn’t get this story out of my head, and I didn’t want to. I saw it two more times in theaters, for a total of 3 views in 2013, and then bought the DVD as soon as it was released. The following Halloween I dressed as Elsa, along with thousands of girls 15 to 20 years younger than me. I ended up watching Frozen eight times in 2014. But then…I stopped watching it for a while.

Part of that was just because watching a movie 11 times in a little over a year is a lot, even for me, so I needed a break. But another part of it was people started really hating on this movie, and it got to me. Some of the criticism was legitimate – like, no, we really didn’t need another animated musical about white royalty, and yes, there are several plot holes – but a lot of it boiled down to: this thing is overwhelmingly popular and therefore it’s cool and edgy to say it’s bad. But I bought it. I felt embarrassed by my initial enthusiasm. I was way too old to be obsessing over a movie like this the way I had done in my early teens. Normally I don’t have much trouble loving the movies I love unapologetically, but normally the movies I love are old or obscure enough that the internet isn’t filled with hot takes about why it’s bad to love them. I still enjoyed listening to the songs, and I still defended it when I heard it disparaged in person, but after my 8 viewings in 2014 I didn’t watch Frozen again until 2019. And I only watched it then because Frozen II was coming out and I wanted to refresh myself on the first one before I saw the sequel. I was kind of expecting that viewing to convince me once and for all that I had gotten over it, but I had the complete opposite experience. I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of that rewatch. I was reminded that I really do genuinely love and enjoy this movie, and I wished I hadn’t let the haters convince me otherwise. So I watched it once each in 2020, 2021, and 2022, which was partly because of the Disney watching project I did with my brother – we watched through all the animated Disney movies in order in 2020, and then we re-watched the ones we’d ranked in the top 10 in 2022 – yes, we decided Frozen is a top 10 Disney animated film, and no I will not apologize for that.

I think a big reason why I let myself get temporarily talked out of loving Frozen is because I couldn’t articulate what I really loved about it at the time, so I thought that meant I didn’t actually love it. But now that I know I’m aroace, it makes perfect sense. As I mentioned before, even at the time, I knew that seeing a character choose familial love over romantic love in a matter of life and death meant a lot to me, though I didn’t know the extent of it. And I related to Elsa and Let It Go spoke to me, but it took me a long time to recognize the extent of that too. As someone who has struggled with depression, I initially saw Elsa’s self-imposed isolation to try to protect people that ended up hurting them as an allegory for that disease, which I still think it is to a certain extent. Depression dulls all emotions and tricks one’s brain into thinking others would be better off without them, and that describes some of what Elsa is going through. But there’s also the aspect of hiding a part of herself that she knew she wouldn’t be accepted for, and finally breaking away from that to live as her true self, that a lot of LGBTQIA+ people relate to, which I didn’t recognize in myself at the time – and now I wonder if another reason I stepped away from the movie for a while was a subconscious fear of facing my own queerness. I know a lot of people see Elsa as a lesbian, which seemed to be confirmed by a couple of brief moments in Frozen II. While I would argue that it’s not quite canon yet, I wouldn’t mind if Frozen III makes it so – provided the story of Frozen III actually makes sense, unlike whatever the heck Frozen II is supposed to be about. What I’m trying to say is I don’t want to dismiss the Elsa is a lesbian theory, but to me she feels very aroace. She doesn’t seem at all interested in finding a partner, she just wants to hang out in her mountain ice palace by herself, which sounds pretty awesome even though I still don’t understand how she was going to be able to feed herself up there. Also, at the end of the first movie, she seems very surprised to learn that she has the capacity to thaw what she’s frozen by allowing herself to feel love. Elsa has been suppressing all of her emotions because she knows that her ice powers are harder to control when she feels things, which is again similar to depression. But seeing this through an aroace lens of constantly feeling like you’re incapable of the “correct” kind of love, I could see an aroace Elsa being aware of love as a thawing force, but thinking it had to be romantic love and that she was therefore doomed. So seeing Anna using their sisterly love to heal her frozen heart showed Elsa that the type of love she could feel was powerful enough, and that was all she needed to bring back summer. Like most of my aroace headcanons, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t quite what the filmmakers actually intended, but it works and it’s beautiful.

 Whether Elsa is intentional queer representation or not, even the straight romantic relationship in Frozen is unusual for a Disney movie. Anna and Kristoff’s rocky start leading to eventual feelings is nothing new, of course, but the way they leave it (at least at the end of the first movie, which I like to pretend is the end of the story because, again, the sequel makes no sense) is very sweet. They’re not officially dating, let alone engaged or married, but Anna presents Kristoff with a new sled, and he’s so excited that he exclaims, “I could kiss you!” And then he backs off and asks her permission and they only kiss after they both agree that they want to. This may not seem like much, but in a culture that tends to romanticize spontaneity and persistent pursuit at the expense of consent, especially in fairytales, it’s so wonderful to see asking for consent encouraged in such an adorable way here.

I think a big part of what makes Frozen work is that it’s all about subverting expectations. Before the movie came out, they set expectations that the snowman and the reindeer would be annoying, and then Olaf and Sven both turned out to be sweet and genuinely funny. Then at the beginning it makes you think it’s going to be a typical fairytale romance, but it turns out the prince is the actual villain. Plot twist villains are pretty common in this Disney era, and I’m not sure even I would consider Hans the best instance of that trope, but I do love the way the Duke of Weselton is established as a decoy villain, and that he’s voiced by Alan Tudyk, who had just voiced the plot twist villain in Wreck-It Ralph. At first I felt like the Hans reveal was a little too out of nowhere, but there are a few delightfully subtle clues that I completely missed initially, like how he sings about “finding his own place” when he’s pretending to be singing about Anna, or how he’s clearly calculating a way to incapacitate Elsa while making it look like he’s saving her. I would have liked a few more clues, but I also think it’s good to portray that red flags can be hard to spot. And then on top of that there’s the unexpected challenge to the amatonormative idea that romance is the most important and powerful form of love. It was all so completely different from what I was expecting, in the best possible way.

Clearly this movie appeals to people who are not aroace, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the most popular children’s movie of the decade is so focused on platonic love. A lot more kids can relate to familial love than to romantic love. And Frozen proves that you don’t have to eliminate romance from a story entirely to emphasize other types of love. When Anna falls in love with Kristoff, that doesn’t make her relationship with him the only one that matters, or even the one that matters the most, and that’s a message that we don’t get from nearly enough stories. A big fear that many aromantic people share is that all of our friends will eventually abandon us for romantic partners, due to the prevalence of the message that one’s romantic partner should be one’s number one focus at all times. Personally I’ve been fortunate enough to find people who value friendship as much as I do, and therefore want to maintain close platonic relationships whether they’re in romantic relationships or not, and I’m very grateful for all of them. But I know not all aros are as fortunate in that respect. So that’s why I keep emphasizing how awesome it is that in Frozen not only is one of the main characters potentially aroace, but the other main character who is not still chooses to save herself with platonic love instead of romantic love. Encouraging people to cultivate non-romantic relationships benefits everyone, not just aros, because putting too much pressure on one relationship to fulfill all or even most of one’s social needs is unsustainable, and often dangerous. When Hans meets Anna, he correctly observes that she’s lonely and desperate for love, and he hopes to manipulate her by filling that entire void himself. But he ultimately fails because, while Anna does desire romance, she wants to reconnect with her sister even more. Even though Elsa has shut her out for years, as soon as she reveals her powers Anna understands that her sister has been in just as much pain as she has. Instead of festering resentment, Anna is filled with empathy and compassion, which allows her to save herself, her sister, and the kingdom. We need more heroes like Anna. And while it may be overrated, overhyped, and a little underdeveloped, in terms of emphasizing the power of non-romantic love, we need more stories like Frozen.

Thank you for listening to me attempt to express my love for this movie. I still don’t feel like I’ve done it justice, which I suspect will become more and more of a problem as I continue to work my way up this list. If you want to hear about more movies that I love enthusiastically, remember to follow or subscribe on your podcast platform of choice, and leave a rating or review if you feel like it. This episode is coming out during Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, so I hope any of you out there who are or think you might be on the aromantic spectrum are feeling particularly appreciated and accepted. And if you’re not aro-spec yourself, maybe reach out to any aromantic friends you have and tell them you value them. And if you don’t know of any aros in your life, just reach out to any friend and tell them you care about them. Let’s spread lots of good non-romantic feelings this week! And the next time you get the urge to tell a single friend they need a romantic partner: don’t.

Next week I’ll be talking about another movie musical that I’ve watched 15 times, although that one is not animated and is decidedly not geared toward children. As always, I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.”

[ardenigh]

It was fun reading about Lucky and I’ve thought of several questions about him:

1) How did Tegan die and how was he brought back?

2) What was Tegan’s life like?

3) What sort of person is Tegan’s brother?

4) What is Lucky’s daily routine?

5) Does anyone else in Tegan’s family know about Lucky? If so, how are they taking it?

6) How similar/ different are Tegan and Lucky’s personalities?

7) Besides Dmitri and the helmet, does Lucky keep anything from Tegan?

8) Would Tegan’s brother dig further into denial as time goes on or would he accept that Lucky is a person of their own?

9) Would Lucky ever be comfortable at looking at Tegan’s face?

it is once again... Lucky Hour

(thank you sm for the ask and the wait, omg! this got really ungainly really fast bc i like talking too much about my boy, so I'm dropping a cut here!)

It was fun reading about Lucky and I’ve thought of several questions about him:

1) How did Tegan die and how was he brought back?

He was brought back à la Shepard in an effort led by his older brother, a talented neurologist willing to call in every last favor he'd accrued over his career. Experimental cybernetics and nanotech to knit the corpse back together… synthetic neural weaves to shore up and repair the brain damage… The aim was to rebuild his damaged parts, resuscitate his basic autonomic functions and, in turn, facilitate the recovery and augmentation of his higher functions - all with the end goal of bringing his little brother back.

As for how Tegan died?

Motorcycle accident. 

Eyes on the road, guys.

2) What was Tegan’s life like?

Probably less legitimate than most people’s - not that he ever let his mother know, back when she was alive. Ostensibly, he was just an apprentice at a tattoo parlor and liked frequenting the library. Beneath that, though, he had a familiarity with the city’s rougher crowds and lesser-known corners. A known neutral party to those interested in such things, Tegan was the king of the illegal street racing scene and a popular racer to bet on. ‘Course, being so familiar with the fast and loose life, Tegan was no stranger to witnessing other crimes from time to time. Some of his old racing buddies, the ones who know how observant he was, think that Tegan’s death was no coincidence - but they know to keep their voices down.

3) What sort of person is Tegan’s brother?

Janus… is a perfectionist, a visionary, and a brilliant academic to boot - he holds a Ph.D. in neuroscience and a master’s in software engineering, and he fully intends to broaden his wheelhouse as he goes. He’s also very much the picture of a resentful older sibling for most of his and Tegan’s upbringing, because, like - while he studied the blade, Tegan was out here goofing off and getting into trouble and still somehow being the favorite son, to salt the wound. Of course, what he lacks in close connection and open communication (and he really is lacking there), he makes up for with a ferocious tenacity. If this man sees something worth salvaging, he will immediately lock his jaws on it and he will not accept failure as an option.

He knows he should have tried more with Tegan, and he refuses to entertain the thought of never having that second chance.

4) What is Lucky’s daily routine?

For the most part, Lucky is a courier and busy with it; lets him combine his love of riding with an easy way to see new things and meet new people. He lives on lots of little catnaps interspersed with lots of running around - it’s not unusual to see him out and about early in the morning, and again in the middle of the night. 

His routine is a little like this: deliver package, stop by new hole in the wall place he passed earlier, deliver package, head home to sleep and feed dmitri. head over to janus’s lab for mnemonic exercises and a vitals check. deliver package. Find a new piece of media to delve into. Take nap. Leave city limits to stargaze.

Not necessarily like that all the time, of course, or in that order.

5) Does anyone else in Tegan’s family know about Lucky? If so, how are they taking it?

Oh, no. Going down the list, it’s like - father passed when the boys were little… mother a couple years before Tegan’s accident… between Janus’s aversion to regular communication and busy student life, and also Tegan being none too keen on letting on that he’s making a living racing illegally, neither one is close with their relatives. 

The most they know is that Tegan was hurt. He’s made a full recovery, though, so don’t worry, no need to visit (says Janus, stonewalling every single attempt while also frantically trying to snap his brother out of whatever delusion of identity he’s working through). 

Now, Tegan's associates, on the other hand… some are very concerned about the sudden personality changes. 

6) How similar/ different are Tegan and Lucky’s personalities?

They both love an adrenaline rush! They’re also both pretty social and will initiate conversations. Neither of them actively seeks romance or relationships, (‘no one in this city can handle me,’ says tegan. ‘i’ve existed for, like, three weeks,’ says lucky.) They’re also both good at compartmentalizing when they need to.

Tegan is louder, for sure, though - he’s developed an affectation of infuriating nonchalance after years of being constantly dealt his brother’s disapproval, the “why are you always like X”  and “why do you never do Y.” He will not be judged, thanks, and certainly not by the guy who only communicates in criticism and academic citation. 

Lucky is still chatty, but he speaks a little softer, and he pays more attention to the people around him. He skirts around people in a crowd rather than walking straight through. He’s taken by small details and twice as observant as his template, and people who knew Tegan are a little unnerved by how much more insightful he is, these days. Novelty makes him gentler, keener to listen in. He still shares Tegan’s pull to go fast at all times, though.

To sum up the main difference, though: Tegan will tank a sucker punch and grin through bloodied teeth. 

Lucky will dodge. 

7) Besides Dmitri and the helmet, does Lucky keep anything from Tegan?

Aside from all the basic identifying and legal assets? Tegan's apartment for one (although he does take care to partition everything that's not his own). Walking in, you would think two people were living there - only, one of them has been away for so long that an atmosphere of neglect has settled over his things. It takes a long while for Lucky to peek into Tegan’s collection of books and journals, so they’ve been getting a bit dusty. Can’t bring himself to throw anything, though. Feels disrespectful.

Tegan’s bike was completely totaled in the accident, though. Lucky would have kept it, otherwise.

8) Would Tegan’s brother dig further into denial as time goes on or would he accept that Lucky is a person of their own?

Ooh, that is a very good question, like, thematically. Janus is the reigning champion of not letting things go, tbh; it wouldn’t just take time, either. It would take a slow, methodical dismantling of everything Janus thought he knew about Tegan. It would take little, sharp instances of realization, that Tegan had passions and hobbies that he’d had no idea of. That Tegan had always looked up to him, behind the cavalier rebel front. That, really, when it came down to it, he never really knew his little brother at all. 

Honestly? First he has to accept that he can’t fix this; it’s too late, and his brother is gone. 

Only then will he even begin to be able to accept Lucky as his own person. 

Something something Janus’s stages of grief go: anger, bargaining, denial denial denial…

9) Would Lucky ever be comfortable at looking at Tegan’s face?

Yes! I mean, very early on, he hardly even had a problem looking in the mirror - like, it was tragic and all, and of course he harbors a lot of curiosity about who this other guy was, but it was only up until people started expecting him to be Tegan that it started to cause him discomfort. Once he has a firm grasp on who he is, ‘cause he’s still feeling that out, and once certain people understand that he’s Not The Guy They Want, then he’d be able to look himself in the eyes without wanting to crawl out of his own skin a little bit. 

bonus: quick doodle of tegan and lucky for a bit of feature comparison

[mochitoaster]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry I'm not normal about chapter 3. First of all, I love the way you write and manage to put ideas down into words. I would happily read a novel from you because your writings perfect. its just! <333 makes me really happy when you update because I know that its going to be an epic chapter.

Anyways! Chapter time:

I had a really weird feeling of deja vu while reading the first part, but other than that I adore how you describe the turning process.

'First, the spark reenters the brain, neurons firing after falling silent. Then comes the pain, an all consuming stabbing, the body rejecting the life being injected back into it with every single cell.' <- I am not normal about this.

TAZERCRAFT! 'Mike is so warm. No amount of blood Pac drinks can compare to the warmth of his partner. It’s in his body, his voice, and carried within every joke, query, and comforting word.' <33333333 I love how you write them. They're relationship is so complex but you write them perfectly every time

“why bother with a love triangle when they can all just get together?” <- good question. Why bother with a love triangle?

'but upon peering through the peephole all of his thoughts come to a screeching halt' <- Pac sees hot cannibal immediately forgets how to think

'They trace over his top surgery scars' :D

'Mike glances between them as Cell backs up, a vaguely disgusted look on his face' <- same Mike. Same. (Mikes reactions to Celltw are always so funny he's so fed up with them both)

'He slides up onto a tall chair across from Forever.' <- FOREVER?????????? WAIT WHAT??? I did not see that coming.

'Forever smiles pleasantly at him, his facial expression smooth as if he hadn’t even registered the slip-up.'

'Vaguely, in the back of his mind, he wonders why Forever isn’t struggling. Most victims push back and fight to break free, yet he stands still, allowing Pac to drain him of precious fluids. 

“Pac,” Forever whispers. 

If he wasn’t so lost in Forever’s taste, Pac would probably have noticed that he hadn’t given Forever his name. 

Forever’s voice is hoarse as he says, “I’m sorry.”' <- hey. hey what THE ACTUAL FUCK. no seriously though this is perfect why the fuck does Forever know his name. WHY IS PAC GETTING KIDNAPPED?????

I am so excited to see where this goes theres still two chapters left and I'm just!!!

WAIT! Needles, Kidnapping, Unethical Experimentation, Government Experimentation. Authour I am scared for what the next chapter holds.

On a happier note, 'polyamory' :D.

This was fantastic and just!!!!!! to many thoughts about this i'm going to explode your so talented. you are so smart for writing this btw. love this fic so so so so much <3

YOURE SO SWEET EXPLODES YOU WXPLODES YOU <33333

Very glad you enjoyed! This chapter was SO HARD TO FINISH. It’s also the longest I think I’ve written? Idk

I’m really happy you like my flavour of tazercraft I really enjoy writing them C: the banter is so fun

Next chapter takes a hard left turn in vibes but it’s gonna be awesome >:D look forward to it!!!

[silentcrowsilentravens]

Could you write Alcina and the three girls with an s/o that does slight of hand magic?

Apologies for Alci's being on the shorter side.

Daniela Dimitrescu, Cassandra Dimitrescu, Alcina Dimitrescu, and Bela Dimitrescu reacting to a s/o that does sleight of hand magic.

(Gender neutral).

Warnings: n/a

Masterlists here!

Daniela Dimitrescu

Daniela immediately loses her shit. She takes both of your hands and when she sees them empty, loses her shit even more.

How did you do that?

Why didn't you tell her you can do that sooner?

How many other tricks do you know?

Can you show her how to do some of them?!

Please.

Please.

Please.

Daniela's not going to stop bugging (pun unintended) the hell out of you until you teach her a few tricks.

When she finds out it isn't real magic, she is a little disappointed. But not for long. Maybe two minutes tops. She still wants to learn!

And then once she gets the hang of it, she's going to show anyone and everyone who will give her the time of day.

Daniela, stopping some maid just trying to attend to her duties and aggressively doing the things you showed her: "So? What did you think of that?"

The maid, about to piss herself from nervousness because Daniela was already terrifying enough without the apparent ability to do magic: "V-very impressive, my Lady! I've never seen anything like it before!"

"I know, right?!"

Cassandra Dimitrescu

The first time you do a trick in front Cass, her reaction is a bit delayed. She stares at you for a moment.

"...What the hell?"

She wants to see what else you’ve got. 

She is also very determined to figure out how you do them. Don’t you dare give her any hints! 

Cassandra’s wearing an expression of intense focus, asking you to repeat certain tricks so that she can study your hands. 

She does manage to figure out a few, and is too prideful to ask how you do the rest. She uses this new knowledge for evil. As expected.

She likes to annoy her sisters with it.

"Andi, give it back!"

"I don't have it."

"I can see it in your hand!"

"No, I think you're mistaken," Cassandra smirks and makes her younger sister's knife vanish.

">: O"

Also enjoys doing it in front of maids unfortunate enough to end up in the cellar.

Cass, pulling out a set of keys: "I'm going to unlock these shackles."

"....Thank you for your mercy, Lady Cassandra..."

"Oh, would you look at that? The keys disappeared! Nevermind, then. I guess I'll just keep torturing you."

Alcina Dimitrescu

Simply full of suprises, aren't you?

Alcina has never been considered someone who cares much for magic tricks, but when you do them? She can’t help but find them charming. 

She’s fond of the card tricks in particular. 

Alcina will simply stick to watching you. 

You can try to teach her a trick or two, but the chances of Alci successfully learning are low. It’s like when you tried to teach her how to uninstall an app. She doesn’t have the patience, her hands are too big for the task, it’s just a mess overall. 

Bela Dimitrescu 

Ooh, you know how to do sleight of hand? 

Bela watches you with silent interest, providing mini applause after each trick. 

You’re so talented. <3

Afterward, she has many questions. 

How long have you been practicing?

Why did you pick the hobby up? 

How long did it take you to perfect it? 

Bela is particularly fascinated by how sleight of hand fools the brain than anything else, though. The way you purposefully divert where the watcher’s attention goes, how your hands move with practiced ease and manipulate the perceived presence of objects? Very intriguing.

(She’s a big fucking nerd at heart, she can’t help it). 

She gets you a book about sleight of hand magic.

Like Cass, she wants to figure out how you pull off your tricks without any explanation from you.

[urstruly-ghst]

Hi I read your s/o who appears airheaded and stupid actually prove to be really freaking smart and hides it because it’s amusing to see people so surprised headcanons and I loved it can I request the same but for Ace, Leona, Jamil, and Vil instead?

note : i like the dynamics of these characters vv much 👀✨ since i have a huge bias with ace (even if my wallpaper, phone case, plushie is deuce), i shall sneak in some short stories after the headcanon!

another thing to note is that jamil is such a complex character for me to write, same goes for leona.. idk why, so they may be a lil OOC :')

ace trappola

You see, with the amount of shenanigans you and Ace pull together, it actually blurred the lines between you two. Even if you clearly showed more competency than that airhead. But, you tend to follow and act with him, so maybe that's why the lines between you two blurred.

Ace is immediately in the dogpile if you ever so mention "Ramshackle", even if his official dorm is Heartslabyul! Ace didn't mind though, you are chill compared to his dorm head, with that, he felt more comfortable to just be loose and fun, that's how you two started growing feels!

When you two started dating, you are now by his side 24/7, even when it came to just reading. You must be there, lest he gets worked up and upset. Or worse; jealous! He always wants you there, either when he needs this task done for the dorm, to just eating. He wants to see you, it felt oddly comforting, also it was good excuse to dump some of his issues to you.

With that in mind, you both are always together, making it nearly impossible by now to hide your true intelligence from him.

---

"Ugh! Trein makes us memorize these long paragraphs and for what?!", Ace grumbled as he "studied", with you. You question if he ever got something in his head when you both are legitimately cuddling on his bed with the book and "notes". Said notes were just scribbles that you aren't sure of was actual words.

You rolled over, trying to get away from Ace's grip, he's oddly clingy when he wants to study with you. Ace groans as he let go of you, pouting before he smirked mischievously.

"Since we studied, maybe I should test you! You can test me too, whoever loses gets to... Hm, do whatever that person wants!", Ace said, betting his chances in winning. You rose your eyebrows and accepted the challenge, believing in your prowess to not let you down.

As expected, you won. By landslide. You got every point right, Ace did get a good score of... Zero.

"WHAT?! UNFAIR!", Ace screeched as he realized now he lost. He stared you, questioning the authenticity of your results. You shrugged, before giggling when Ace deflated at how you, the you who always is stirring up trouble and being idiotic like him, actually had brains! Unfair!

"You owe me by the way," you jest, as Ace sulked, making you giggle, "That's right, you owe me a good score on this test! Lest you want me to avoid you for a week."

leona kingscholar

You are bothersome and noisy, he came up with that conclusion the moment you came in that garden when he was taking his nap. Ever since then, the impression stuck with him when he saw you and the tricks you pull with the iconic Adeuce + Grimm trio.

Found it very irritating when you also seemed to be calculating lots of his moves during the Magishift competition, and he knew by that day too you aren't just the airhead you let other perceive you to be. Like a protective layer to a fruit, you hid something.

That hidden thing was yet to be shown, even when your friendship with Leona grew, and he didn't know why are you so keen to hide something, was it really bad? Or are you cynical?

Leona and you stayed friends for a while, before the dating phase came and started. It started to develop when you showed glimpses of the intelligence you hid behind that airhead-like front you show to everyone.

Ever since that, you gave him what talent and intelligence laid beneath that "mask", you have yet to reveal a reason, but you both are content with what you both have now.

---

"Leonaaa, you don't need my help here!", you whined as the lion just stared, waiting for you to answer some his homework, as said earlier, you knew he didn't need help, but he seemed to persist that you must.

"Herbivore, I just... need help on one... please?", he said oddly too soft for his character and demeanor. Leona was never the one ask, even for homework, you wondered if it was because you are his significant other.

"No way! What tone was that?!", You giggled as Leona rolled his eyes. He thought using that stupid pleading tone would work, I mean, it works with you if a puppy did it! He sighed as he just grumbled in unsatisfaction, he knew you won't answer it correctly, but he just wants... To prove something of sorts.

"You're thinking I won't be able to answer your homework", you stated, feeling a tad bit rejected he thought that, but you guess it does make sense when you literally pull up idiotic schemes.

"Yeah, exactly, but don't worry, I'm here~", he mused, laughing at your determined face, he hands over the homework, looming over you as he snuck behind you to "help". You wondered if that help involves sleep, as he assumed a sleeping cuddling position.

"I'm going to answer it! Correct it with a teacher and tell me then I can't!", You protested as Leona nodded and slowly closed his eyes, you huffed as you can't help but question why you did date such a lazy lion... But you guessed he's just your type.

You answered it when you knew he fell into a deep sleep, and a few hours after the period, Leona came in, shock all written all over his face.

"you... Answered. This?! It got a perfect score!"

jamil viper

You were wary with him, as well as he was with you. You thought he was always scheming, his eyes were so calculated, you assumed its trouble. And he thought you're another Kalim needing help and would call out to anyone.

The both of you got started on a friendship after the overblot incident, you took it slow and approached him with a full out nice plan. That was when he knew, you were not just like Kalim.

Jamil just knew, you didn't need to do a full fledge declaration or act to show your true intelligence. He has seen some of your papers, and they were decent. However, he does question how unruly and airheaded you seem.

The dating stage was when he felt as if he knew the reason behind that facade of yours. However, he never pushed it, he just wants you to openly say it.

---

"Jamil, do you remember ever that lecture Crewel said about potions?", You inquired, staring at the balcony his room provided. You and him were on a "resting date", because of the recent events, all of you were really tired out from such. Either way, you both stayed in fond silence, being comfortable around each other, so the breaking of silence caught his attention immediately.

"Which one of those? He might've said it in my year, or not...", He pondered, trying to narrow down the lists of the lectures of potions the strict teacher might've shared with your class.

"Ah, it's.. those potions are once made for both prince, royals alike. However, the association of them are linked to these foul villains... No offense to the school! Its just that, you know... Linking a technical thing for individuals is such bs!", You ranted, sharing insights and your philosophies in the sentiment. Jamil looked at you, fondness and wonder swirling in his irises, he never thought of that perspective.

You provoke such an endearing thought, he was confused as to why you would hide this prowess when no one is stopping you to do it. Preference? Peace? He wonders as you both stare into the sky ranting and sharing a conversation.

vil schoenheit

He never thought of you as an idiot, he believes each one is full of talents. Vil may not look the part, but he is endearing, thoughtful, kind enough. Just not the typical one.

Vil can also see how you do tend to be more smart and more flourishing compared to your group of friends, he can see you blooming more than your friends, he can't pinpoint as to how though.

Finally, he now knew while the entire VDC training and events, you are so calculated in a hidden sight. You preferred to be aloof than show your true intelligence, you preferred to be dubbed "airhead" than show the skill you hone. An enigma, he notes.

Such friendship began, friendship with Vil meant a lot of scolding, and a ton of reminders. Think of him as a mom friend of sorts. However, these sentiments and care soon was developed into something else.

When you started dating, it was rocky, he insists for you to show the said intelligence you have, while you debacle that you wish for no such thing. You then eventually settled on terms and you've been doing fine ever since!

---

"My majesty, you seem awfully tired.", Vil notes, eyes of disapproval scanned your heavy dark eye bags, your pale complexion, and unkempt appearance.

"Ah, nothing to worry about, I just stayed up doing something.", You said as you tried to relax on the bed Vil has. Vil clicked his tongue, annoyed by your notion of deciding to stay up late and disregarding a good night's sleep!

"My dear, must I tell you not to do that?! Oh, you look so tired, you shouldn't have pushed your boundaries over work or something! Come here.", Vil urged as he fixed the things needed for a good relaxing spa or skin care. You sighed, feeling grateful for such a loving partner, others may be bewildered of your choice to date the strict dorm head, but he was such a caring individual.

"What were you doing to warrant such thing?"

"Ah, just studying the books.", You mumble, detesting the way how frustrating it is to get a concept right on a class. Vil can sense displeasure and gave a gentle kiss, before flicking your forehead.

"You know I'm here to help you, you know.", Before prepping you and making you sit comfortably on the nice chair he made sure was comfy for you.

"What was it anyways? The one you were studying?"

"Ah, the Advanced Alchemy of The Royal Decree of the Evil Queen. Its complicated, but I got it down and took the quizlet that came with it—"

"Excuse me?!", Vil inquired as his relaxing motions on you as he stared at you in a perplexed and impressed expression. You looked from side to side, questioning if you said something wrong, as silence was all over.

"That alchemy book is the complicated one that, I, as a third year, still cannot understand! And you said you took the quizlet, what score did you get?"

"Ah, perfect, zero mistakes!", You smiled as Vil was slack jawed by that. You understand those alchemical studies that are cryptic and downright complicated, even for a third or fourth year... Yet you got it?!

He wonders just how much intelligence you have that you yet to show to others.