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#fuck mr fussy
lab-gr0wn-lambs · 11 months
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Out of all the things that threw me through a loop in the mario movie, the bros taking their gloves off was the most oddly jarring. I said out loud “they have flesh hAnds!-”
#y'know among other things#beating an absolute decomposed horse here but. Chris Pratt's voice acting was somehow. worse. than I was expecting.#the um. the random real songs? Mr. Blue Sky and Thunderstruck? that was weird#the other music was WONDERFUL#I know Mario has been canonically like 25 for a while but it's still weird seeing him with his young parents and being fussy about food#and playing video games in his lil teenager bedroom#speaking of- the Mario-hates-mushrooms thing? what?#and his personality in general was just fucking weird but it would have been less jarring without the. lazy shit voice. sorry. dead horse ik#thought there'd be more luigi tbh#kamek and bowser absolutely stole the show they were fucking great#peach was generic... I didn't dislike her but. myeh. another Illumination quirky girlboss go off I guess#Donkey kong was fun actually I rly liked him#his beef with Mario was entertaining#anyway ok enough about characters#the movie was a visual feast and the action scenes were. fucking excellent. so clever.#which. says. a. LOT. given how much I normally hate illumination movies visually#oh yeah toad. he was there. same way I feel about him in the games so#dude I kept my eyes PEELED for Funky Kong. he should've absolutely been the mechanic or SOMETHINg. so sad.#it's funny the longer the movie went on the more and more and more I realized. oh. this is an illumination movie alright#take that as you will#anyway I sound like I hated it I didn't I fucking loved every second of it#when you go into a movie with the mindset of ''I'm going to tear this to shreds as light-heartedly as possible'' you have a great time#and you get pleasantly surprised along the way!#like I said! visual feast! clever fights! some fun characters! music! background gags and easter eggs!#bowser!
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your-sweet-babboo · 2 years
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this is the worst thing I have ever made I apologize
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reallyromealone · 6 months
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Hi, could you make a reader baby, little brother of baji? please
I gotchu
🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐
"ra!" (Name) made little noises as he played with his lion toy in the livingroom, dressed in a soft onsie and socks as Baji got ready to go hang out with his friends, their mom having to go help their grandmother and being the good big brother Baji was he decided to watch over little (name).
Baji was a good big brother, having his brothers diaper bag fully stocked with extra clothes just in case "alright brat! Time to get ya changed for the day" Baji lifted the tiny babe and played airplane as they went to the nursery "gonna dress you looking cool, get all the ladies!" Baji joked to the baby who chewed his hand, Baji quick to pop a pacifier in his mouth "you don't worry about dating though, we can talk about that when you figure out walking" he said putting together an outfit he knew (name) wouldn't be fussy with.
"Looking pretty fly!" Baji said putting on (name)s pants and fixing his hair "we'll get some ice cream in the way there" Baji promised the babe who raised his arms to be lifted, Baji complying with ease.
He was always (name)s favorite after all.
Diaper bag and (name) in arm, he walked out the house and to the diner, thankfully it was withing walking distance as (name) fiddled with his little sunglasses but kept them on regardless "the diner has ice cream and (fruit) so you can have a good snack" Baji said walking in and immediately seeing Toman at a booth and a few chairs, a high chair already brought out for (name) "there's the coolest guy...and Baji" Mitsuya teased and Baji gave him the finger before setting his brother in the little high chair, Mitsuya talking softly to the babe who smacked the table lightly, knowing high chairs meant food.
Everyone knew (name), Baji wouldn't shut up about him and surprisingly was a very good older brother, always taking care of the babe when he had a chance, thankfully their mom didn't put too much responsibility on Keisuke, knowing the teen had a life.
The teens spoke as they all ate, (name) clumsily shoving food in his mouth, blissfully unaware of the things his brother and friends were talking about.
"I gotta take a leak, watch Dingus here" Baji said getting up and walking to the washrooms, (name) glancing around confused and looked to where his brother went.
"Baji is not a person who I would expect to be such a good brother" Chifuyu spoke up as Mitsuya tried to calm down the baby who looked anxious at the lack of big brother, proof that Baji was an excellent big brother. (Name)s eyes watered as he looked around and even Mikey tried calming him but it was fruitless, little (name) letting out a hiccuped sob before all our crying.
It didn't take long for Baji to come running out looking /pissed/ "who made my fucking brother cry?!" He seethed and lifted his brother and glared around at the diner "oh calm down, he was just pissy you left" Draken said annoyed and (name) clung to his brother "Ani..." He mumbled tearily and Baji looked down happily "you said it!"
Toman left the diner after paying and Baji danced around with his baby brother "fuck yeah my brother is so smart!"
"Fuck!"
"Oh Mrs Baji is going to kill you"
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lizzy-bonnet · 11 months
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I love Jane Austen's work and I love podcasts, so naturally I follow several JA podcasts (please drop recs in the tags). I'm enjoying Live from Pemberley from Hot and Bothered, but a comment from literally the first episode of the series has been circulating in my brain since I listened to it several months ago: one of the hosts expressed surprise (and disappointment?) in the fact that when we first meet Lizzy, she is "employed in trimming a hat". This comment literally comes right after a conversation about how Austen tells us so much in the very short space of Chapter 1; without wasting any words, we know exactly who Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are (lightly toxic relationship), understand their family situation (need to marry well), meet the main driver of the first act (rich man in the neighbourhood), and understand a social dilemma (girls can't meet him if Mr. Bennet does not make the first overture). So what is Austen telling us when we meet Lizzy in the employment of trimming a hat?
We so often read a sort of modern girlboss feminism into Lizzy because she is smart and stands up for herself, but I think that's something that really gets embroidered on to the text. Lizzy trimming a bonnet is telling us several things about her:
She is frugal - new hats and bonnets are really expensive (my casual hobby is shopping for reproduction bonnets and this remains true), because the straw is braided by hand, the bonnet shape is assembled and blocked by hand, feathers have to be gathered from real (living or dead) birds, ribbons and flowers are hand-finished, the whole situation is fuck expensive. Lizzy is most likely putting new trim on a straw or wool bonnet she already owns to make it work better for this season's fashions, or a new dress, and possibly recycling trimmings from other hats. Contrast this with Lydia's spending all her pocket money on an ugly hat in Chapter 39, just so she can reduce it to parts, even though she acknowledges she'll also have to buy some extra satin too, to finish the project.
She cares about fashion - we don't get a lot of information on sartorial choices in Austen's work, and when characters are discussing fashion, it tends to be a framework for explaining something about their characters; Miss Steele's need to know how much Marianne's dresses cost (rude, crass); Mrs. Bennet's loving description of the lace on Mrs. Hurst's gown (shallow); Catherine Moreland's agonizing over what to wear to the Assembly (young, a bit flighty); Bingley wears a blue coat (has probably read The Sorrows of Young Werther, is fashionable). The fact that Lizzy is trimming a hat tells us she is fashionable, but paired with the fact that she will get a petticoat muddy in order to see her sister, and does not spend a lot of time worrying after fashion like Lydia tells us that she does not live and die on fashion.
She is creative - I've trimmed various hats and bonnets over my years of interest in historical fashion and honestly it's not easy. It's quite fiddly to get a nice ribbon edge, a ruched lining takes forever, and getting sprays of florals and feathers to be nicely shaped and all in a complementary palette is quite fussy. Getting a nice looking bonnet requires some thinking and planning. But it's also great fun! The Regency era is, in my opinion, a particularly good period for hats.
She is normal - I think Austen wants the reader to understand that Lizzy is a young woman with normal cares and concerns. She doesn't have cash for a new bonnet, she wants to look nice, she knows how to put an outfit together, she's not frivolous like her sisters, and she engages in the typical pursuits of someone who is not yet one and twenty who does not have a specific occupation.
A lot of modern readers are expecting Lizzy to be striding around the countryside unconcerned with "girly" things, or reading a clever book because we have come to think of her as proto-feminist in a way that suggests she might be a bra (corset) burner, but I think that comes from an outdated feminist lens that still wants to tell us that girly things are bad, or at least, a bit weak, and I don't see that in the text at all (I think some of this trickles over from the adaptations). Lizzy walks enthusiastically, she enjoys reading (but not to the exclusion of other employments), she dances very well and plays with mediocrity, she cares deeply about her friends and family, she has excellent manners, and dammit, she trims hats.
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merakiui · 1 year
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it's only natural to talk about alpha (or even omega) puppyboy Floyd. and what are your thoughts about bunnyboy Azul? (he will be so cuteeeeee!) and! otter Kalim or bunny Kalim!!!!
BUNNYBOY AZUL………. he may not be fucking you every hour of every day like puppyboy Floyd, but omg when he is in the mood (or in heat) he is insatiable! You know what they say about rabbits. :) they fuck a lot and have many babies, and if that isn’t perfect for Mr. Azul Debilitating Breeding Kink Ashengrotto then I don’t know what is. >_< he’s such a good bunnyboy for you, even if you have to argue with him to eat his vegetables on occasion. He helps you with your finances because he’s very skilled with math and calculations, and sometimes you’ll leave budget planning to him (if he orders sex toys to your house, think nothing of it. That was part of the budget; he’s planned accordingly!) Azul can get fussy at times. He hates sleeping in his own space, insisting he’d much rather sleep near you. But then you’ll wake up to him humping you from behind, his dick between your thighs. <3 you’ll usually wake up to him fucking you when he gets particularly sex-brained, always so hellbent on breeding you regardless of whether or not you can be bred.
Otterboy Kalim is so full of energy! He’s always wanting to swim with you. You probably have a pool in your backyard or even one built into your home (if you can afford it, but when you see a face as cute as Kalim’s how can you possibly say no?) He loves swimming with you, but then he’s mischievous at times and most often you’ll end up fucking in the pool or on the tiles just near the edge of the pool. Otter mating rituals are usually full of play and chase, so you can never quite tell if he’s in the mood to breed you or to just play (though it’s almost always the former; Kalim is just as insatiable as bunnyboy Azul). He’s always so physical with you, hugging you whenever he has a chance or kissing you all over when he snuggles with you in bed. He’s so very lovable, so very attached, so there’s no way you could ever get rid of him. Not that you would, right? He loves you too much and wouldn’t ever dream of a life without you.
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itsclydebitches · 2 years
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How fucking funny would it be if post-reunion, after everyone has settled down on The Revenge and accepted their weird found family, Izzy still pulled out the “I’m resigning, Ed!” speech every few months, like a kid marching down the end of their driveway to “run away forever, I’m definitely leaving this time, Dad!” Because he’s a supremely repressed gremlin of a man who doesn’t know how to receive validation unless he’s made a dramatic production of it via this intricate ritual. So everyone just accepts that on occasion Izzy will throw a hissy fit, passive aggressively pack up the dinghy, and Ed’s gotta go down there all, “Nooo, mate, we totally need you, don’t leave, what the fuck am I gonna do without my fearsome First Mate?🙄” Really laying it on thick so Izzy can soak up enough Toxically Approved Praise to survive another couple of weeks. Meanwhile, the crew is just watching this sad production, exchanging knowing glances. They’ve TRIED to be nice to Izzy—the whole mutiny thing was so last year, dude!—but outside of The Ritual he will straight up bite off anyone’s head who so much as tries to smile at him.
“Oh, you think I’ve got a flight or bite response? Mr. Hands earned his last name for a reason, laddie,” Buttons says while staring pointedly at Lucius’ finger. That’s obviously bullshit, but Buttons likes fucking with them on occasion. It’s great fun.
Stede’s place in The Ritual varies depending on everyone’s mood. Usually, he treats it like another fuckery production, making a big ta-do about how if Izzy really insists on leaving them—and wouldn't that be terrible? Simply terrible... right, everyone?—then he must take plenty of supplies with him and a bottle of the good brandy and this warm coat because it can get quite chilly at night, don’t you know? This allows Izzy to fly into a very cathartic rage about real pirates vs. gentry twats, leading to him oh so magnanimously deciding to stick around, if only to continue saving Ed from this dithering fool. Sometimes though Izzy has legit pissed Stede off, just like in the old days, and the crew has to run damage control to keep another duel from starting, Izzy having entirely forgotten his desire to leave under the allure of skewering Stede. That too is cathartic, but Ed tends to get tetchy when Stede stabs or is stabbed by anyone other than him.
Every once in a while Izzy will dig his heels in and actually launch the dinghy, heading towards… nothing, because we’re nowhere near land, you idiot, are we really doing this today? So the crew has got to drop everything else they’ve got going on and just… follow him. Izzy spends a couple hours angrily trying to out-row a top of the line ship while the others watch from the deck, occasionally yelling out corrections to his form: “Keep your shoulders steady—you’ll get farther away if you improve your posture.” “I know that!” They let him wear himself out and then tow him in for dinner.
One time Lucius and Pete are ~distracted~ while on the night watch and Izzy is actually able to slip away unnoticed. He's so pissed about it that he leaves in a true huff, that anger taking him all the way to the Republic. Two days later Buttons gets a seagull from Spanish Jackie basically saying that their wayward First Mate is stinking up her bar, you’d better pick him up before I kill a bitch. Ed and Stede arrive like fussy dads whose darling sent the playdate into turmoil; come along, Israel, that’s enough fun for one weekend.
Sometimes Jim is already hiding in the dinghy when Izzy tries to “escape” and the two of them spend a day talking shit, The Revenge floating nearby. Sometimes other pirates will find Izzy in random places and sternly steer him back towards the ship: “Do your parents Captains know you’re out here?” Once Izzy made the mistake of loading his get-away bag with half the strawberries put aside for a new cake and Roach very nearly took a limb in vengeance. Frenchie has a couple tunes that he only plays during The Ritual, to set the mood and all. Lucius has immortalized a number of the attempts in sketch form and slips them underneath Izzy’s door when he’s sure he’s not there to retaliate.
Years later, when all the crew have a lot more gray in their hair, Izzy flips them off and starts packing his things, same old, same old. Ed sidles up to Pete on the quarterdeck, sighing down at the display.
“Can you believe he’s still doing this?” he asks, shaking his head. “I thought he got it out of his system back on the Queen Anne.”
“Remember that time the rope broke and he lost us that dinghy?”
“Ha! I was ready to flog the bastard.”
And that’s how the crew learns that yes, Black Pete really did serve under Blackbeard holy shit.
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impishtubist · 1 year
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happy birthday, krethes <3
Happy birthday @krethes , we are so lucky to have you in this fandom and I am lucky to have you as a friend!
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“Please don’t be naked,” James mutters under his breath as he pounds on the door. “Please don’t be naked, please--”
The door swings open. His brand-new son-in-law is not naked, thank Merlin and Morgana, but he is bare-chested under his dressing gown, and his neck and collarbone are littered with love bites. James flushes immediately and fixes his eyes firmly on Draco’s face. 
“What,” Draco says in a low, dangerous voice, “could you possibly want right now?”
“Er, we broke the baby.” 
“You what.” 
“Broke the baby,” James repeats helpfully.
“Draco?” Harry comes into view, tugging on a shirt. His hair is mussed far worse than usual and his face is flushed and James wants to die. “Who--Dad? What are you doing here?”
“Hey, son,” James says weakly. “Um, your mother and I might have broken Jay.” 
“I told you we should have left him with my mother,” Draco mutters under his breath while Harry gapes at James. 
“What do you mean, you broke him? Is he hurt?”
“No!” James says quickly. “No, definitely not hurt, and not sick either. Just…won’t stop crying.” 
Draco looks like he wants to murder James on the spot. Harry drags a hand down his face.
“Dad, please don’t tell me you crashed our honeymoon because your grandson is fussy! Why didn’t you call Padfoot?”
James had tried, but the Floo had spat him out when he’d stepped into the flames and called out the name of Sirius and Remus’s cottage, along with a note in Sirius’s handwriting that said he would be eating his husband’s arse out for the next three days and they weren’t to be disturbed, not even if the world was ending, thanks very much. 
Fortunately, Draco and Harry hadn’t thought to put similar protections on the private chateau they’d rented in the Alps for their honeymoon. Or, as Sirius kept calling it, much to James’s dismay, their sex holiday. 
“Um, Padfoot was indisposed.” 
“What about Mum?” Harry asks, a little desperately. James tries to sympathize--he would have probably contemplated murder himself if Fleamont had pulled him and Lily out of bed during their honeymoon--but James Sirius has been screaming for the better part of a day and his nerves are shot. 
“She can’t get him to stop, either! It’s been hours, Harry, I’m begging you--”
“Where is Mr. Snuffles?” Draco interrupts.
“W-what?” James blinks at him. 
Draco rolls his eyes. “Mr. Snuffles. The black dog toy that my imbecile of a cousin gave Jamie, which he now refuses to be without for even a moment. I know I packed it in his bag. Find it.” 
“I really think you should--” 
“James.” Draco takes a step forward. “You will go home, right now, and you will find our son’s favorite toy. You will calm him down, and if that task is beyond you, then you will take him to my mother’s. You will not, under any circumstances, interrupt us for the rest of the week, not unless Jamie is hurt or ill. Do you know why?”
“Er--”
“Because this chateau has forty rooms, and I fully intend to have your son fuck me in every single one, and on every piece of furniture, before the week is out. Is that understood?” 
James can only gape at him. Draco gives him a chilly smile.
“Excellent. Harry, get rid of your father so we can pick up where we left off.”
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bisexual-horror-fan · 10 months
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Okay I NEED to know your NSFW alphabet on Mr Mickey Altieri! I know requests are closed but you’re my favourite smut writer of all time and I know you’d DEVOUR
Oh Anon! I’m your favourite?! That is so sweet! So I know the requests are closed indeed but Mickey has been hitting and hitting hard as of late and it’s been too long since I have done an alphabet so let’s get into it and treat you and everyone else too!
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Mickey Altieri NSFW Alphabet.
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
So this is very dependent I feel on what you did previously, you get appropriate aftercare based off of the scene, something very kink filled and intense? More aftercare in accordance. He is really keyed into your needs, I think his favourite form of aftercare is sharing a shower together to clean up, followed up with getting some food, with lots of casual physical closeness and affection all throughout, a real cuddler when all is said and done, also not fussy at all about letting you sleepover in his bed.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Oooh now this is an interesting one to think about. I like to think that Mickey is really into how he looks without his shirt on, not insecure about that in the least, a bit unconventional but not in a dickish overly confident way, he just knows he is put together well in the regard, arms, chest, stomach, he looks just flat out good, not super strong or cut but let’s call it, defined. He is very well defined. 
Mickey is an ass man. I don’t make the rules but he just reads as an ass man. Loves, loves, loves how it looks in jeans, loves touching, holding onto it while fucking you, spreading you open, just all of it, loves.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Can you say cumwhore? Cuz I can. I think he loves it messy and dirty, this guy wants to make a mess of you, he wants to cum on or in you! A fave is in doggy style, he let’s off a shot in you and then pulls out, strokes himself and finishes the rest of the way over your ass and adores to watch it from there, how it leaks out of your hole and runs down your skin, more glazed than a fresh Krispy Kreme donut. 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Okay going back into the cum thing! You know what is one of his biggest and hottest fantasies? Hear me out! He kills someone in his apartment, a real messy, nasty affair, he cleans it all up and then you come over. He is still high off the kill, you fuck, he pulls out, he cums on you but whoops, some of it ends up on the floor. Whatever to do? He forces you down there, he makes you lick up the mess, getting off on the fact that he killed someone earlier in that very spot with you, totally and completely unaware of that fact. It is dirty and degrading and that is part of what makes it so hot! He loves how depraved and wrong it is. Also he is almost always hard when killing someone.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Mickey gives me the vibe that he reinvented himself in a big way when he got to college, not saying he was a loser in high school but he certainly doesn’t read as too much of a player or a fuckboy back then but not a virgin either. I think he has fucked around a good amount for someone his age, slightly above average number and experience. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Face down ass up. No question to me at all, loves the control of it, loves the submission, the view, you just know sometimes when he is really into it he has a hand on the back of your head or the side of your face, holding you down extra hard as he is just railing into you. He loves how deep he can get in this position too, and the sounds he can make you make? Fantastic.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Intense for sure, but the guy can be a bit silly or goofy, can crack a few jokes, isn’t afraid to laugh a bit like any good partner is able to in my opinion. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
The dude is well trimmed with good hygiene no doubt, nails trimmed and yes I would say the hair matches the darker base he has, I doubt he has the highlights down there.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
I think he can be a really charming guy and yes he can be romantic but hear me out, I think that comes out the most with someone he can be totally vulnerable and open with. I think the ultimate ideal is to have a killer partner, someone he can share that part of himself with and who fully understands it. The intimacy of that, the bonding of those experiences makes him just a little soft and sappy. A killer partner brings out the romance in him in a massive way.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
The guy is getting off at least once every two days but prefers once a day at minimum. The sessions are usually quick and dirty, a fistful of lube and some tissues ready to go in the other while thinking of some of his favorite memories from previous kills and he is good. Once a week though there has to be a longer and more dedicated session, more time and care is taken to really make sure he explodes. One of those orgasms that leaves you sleepy and satisfied down to your bones, you know? Has jerked off in some risky places to increase the pleasure, would do so again. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Video Taping: This man wants to make a sex tape. He wants to film you. He wants to capture you on film and have it always. Almost exclusively what he likes to get off to during those longer sessions.
Cock Worship: Act like you love his dick and need it more than air, make love to his cock with your mouth please, play it up, act like his personal porn star and pour on the praise too, please.
Gagging/Choking: He wants to make you gag on his dick, he wants you to WEAR a gag, the muffled sounds do everything for him as you struggle to communicate, he loves to have a hand on you throat and choking you, the danger and the rest does it for him.
Spitting: Let him spit in your mouth, spit is the best lube to him, it adds to the mess in a wonderful way he can’t get enough of. 
Edging/Denial: He likes being a dick, he likes working you up, he enjoys denying you and making you a needy, desperate, writhing thing, begging for relief, (he also loves begging)
Forced Orgasm: And then this is the flip side, he loves forcing you to cum over and over again. Which mood will you get? Who’s to say. Also who’s to say he won’t mix them? Extended edging and denial leading to forced orgasms galore. 
And let’s run a few more through here, home invasion scenarios, rope play, knife kink, exhibitionism, risky semi-public hook-ups, dirty talk. And there is of course more but that is good for now.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Places that you should not be fucking. Stairwells, empty classrooms on campus, the library stacks, in front of a window at night, just places that you should not be and seriously risk getting caught.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Danger, risk, someone showing clear interest in him, getting his ego stroked. Also I think the guy has a soft spot for some lingerie, but not the really fancy stuff, I am thinking a matched bra and panty set that strikes the balance right in the middle between high end special occasion stuff and everyday cotton, some nicer materials, a little lace, a cute bit of detailing like a bow. Hot, inviting, decidedly not ostentatious though, you clearly put it on in hopes he would see it but you are still comfortable. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Okay I don’t think he would ever go to a sex club. He likes doing it places that you aren’t supposed to, he likes the risk, going to a place that is built in to fuck in public? Having people see you like that start to finish? No, too vulnerable, too open, takes a lot of the fun out of it. The idea is fun for five seconds before he thinks seriously about it, he doesn’t even like the idea of just watching strangers bang it out, that is what renting porn tapes is for. Also, do not degrade him during sex, he can do that to you, but do not talk down to him while fucking in any kind of serious capacity, it will not go over well.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He wants to take, he loves to receive more than he gives, loves to have you on your knees or however with his dick in your mouth and down your throat. A big favourite, the best way to get rid of early morning wood is in your mouth. A million ways to get head, a fast and hard throat fuck or a slow and languid lazy blow job are both great. This man would also go to a glory hole with you, strikes the balance between public and the rest enough to click just so. 
He gives though! Oh he gives, he is no slouch when it comes to oral he just prefers to get it and will give great direction and praise when getting, but he gives. He is pretty skillful, he listens and pays attention, and again, he loves it messy. If he can get you to squirt while he is down there the dude has the biggest and cockiest grin all damn day. Also his preferred method of edging is with you on the end of his tongue. Also the man can get down with a good 69, on the couch? Midway through watching a movie? Seeing who can make who break and cum first? Yes.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on the day but fast and rough is his usual modus operandi. He can slow it down and get softer for fucking sure and can really enjoy it in the right context but fast and hard just feels so good and is amazing to get caught up in, it’s hard to resist. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Loves, loves, loves a good quickie, sneaking one in on lunch, between classes, here and there, boosts his mood in a major way, makes him extremely happy. Would like a few a week, doesn’t have to be outright full penetration, oral and hand stuff is more than okay for a quick one and helps keep things fresh and interesting.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes! As I have laid out here multiple times he looooves risks. Also he is super into trying whatever you want for the most part he will try anything once. Only risk he is not about is a pregnancy risk, too young with too much to worry about and do without bringing a kid into it all. Loves cumming in you raw though so if you can get pregnant some form of birth control is a must.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He is a young, dumb and hung college guy! He is healthy, some decent athleticism, of course he can go for multiple rounds. He has pretty good control on himself and when he busts, the first round is the shortest but give him a good ten minutes and he is right back to it, will touch and/or eat you out until he is hard again and up to the task. Overall average length rounds, he goes two with relative ease, most in one night I would say is five.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I do not think he owns any toys himself, he owns rope though and gets real creative with it. He would use toys on you if you had any, I think he would love to use vibrators in particular on his partner, they make his whole forced orgasm kink go nuts, making it much easier to achieve, he would use them till you are an overstimulated wreck. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
So. Much. He loves to tease, a favourite hobby and pastime, he can, would and will tease you any time, any place and can be totally relentless. If you cry maybe he will stop. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Due to a lot of the risky hookups he likes to engage in he cannot be that loud. He will still whisper filthy things in your ear and let out some solid groans that he cannot rein in because it just feels too good. Alone? He is much louder. Cursing, panting, praise, degradation, and you guessed it, even more dirty talk.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Mickey loves overstimuation but not just doing it to you, he likes it being done to him too but won’t ask for it at first. You continuing to suck after he has already cum has him inhaling sharply, sucking his teeth and gripping his seat for dear life, squirming and gasping like, “Shi-shit! Fuck, oh my Goddd, it’s too much-” He’s lying. Don’t stop.
He does it to himself too. Even after he has cum in you, he keeps on moving, grinding his hips, fucking into you with his still hard dick and practically whining, “Hurts s’ good-” He just can’t stop himself! The pleasurepain on occasion is a good change of pace, totally enjoyable. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
The guy is thick, I think he has a slightly above average length but he is thick, well above average girth, it takes some care to get it in but my lord the stretch! Gorgeous. Circumcised, pretty pink head, pronounced veins, the balls are a good solid handful and just begging to be played with (carefully, a little rough treatment sometimes, but carefully still), good upward curve, leans just a touch to the left. Pre-cum is a rare affair but he makes up for it with some truly thick and plentiful loads. I am talking if you are blowing him be prepared to swallow at least once in the middle to make sure you get it all in you without making a mess. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
The dude has a healthy sex drive, he wants to fuck at least three times a week, two quickies with one longer session, and he needs a few of those kinks satisfied every other time at least. He will not turn you down, if you have a higher drive and want it five times a week he can give you that. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Soon as the aftercare is done the guy is out. If it is a bigger, longer, kinky session at night where you guys are actually in a bed, nowhere to be and he can crash then yes, he is falling asleep wrapped around you. Cuddly sleeper. 
89 notes · View notes
tomtenadia · 6 months
Text
Detours to You - ch 11
Helo all!!!
Your truly is back from Canada and I have a surprise for those who care.
In tinsi chapter we have fussy Rowan and some good old hurt/Comfort... oh yeah... Aerobitch is mentioned too... I promise he will not make an appearance. he just gets mentioned but that's all.
Enjoy!!!
MASTERLIST
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Two days later Rowan was on his red truck en route to Hamel HQ to talk to the bastard who was putting hundreds of people lives at risk. On top of his regular duties and paperwork, this one had suddenly become his top priority. He had even liaised with the police and an inspector admitted that they had a case against Hamel and were very keen on taking the man down if they had enough proof. Rowan was dead set on giving them all the bullets they needed to shoot the bastard down. 
Aelin and Maya had moved most of all their stuff at his place. He was meant to go back that night for the last load. He had been even more furious when he found out that Hamel had been increasing rent prices on a constant basis. He and Aelin had moved in that block of flats when they had decided to live together. It was a nice place, central and with a decent rent. But now it had basically tripled and he was not having it. He had an house almost paid off thanks to the money his dad left him, and Aelin was not going to pay any more money to that monster.
Hamel group HQ’s building was in the middle of the financial district and looked luxurious and disgusting. He parked his pickup and strolled in the lavish lobby, while anger rose in him. At the reception he introduced himself as the chief of the TFD and requested a visit with Mr Hamel. The receptionist told him that he was a busy man and an appointment should be made before showing up unannounced.
“I am the fire Chief and I don’t care. Your boss is putting lives in danger and I am not leaving this building until I have a meeting with him.”
“You could be the president, you still need an appointment.” She added almost bored.
In that instant security started to close on him “You win for today, but next time, I am showing up with a mandate from the police and the entire incursion team and we will rat him out by force if needed.”
He stormed out and called Nesryn at Police HQ. She was a good friend of his and as soon as he told her who he was gunning for she told him she had his back and all the legal documents ready to storm that shithole.
A smirk appeared on his face and he drove back to work.
*
It was late, far later than he had planned. Rowan was meant to go to Aelin’s place and pick them up and go home but he had been buried under a mountain of work and lost track of the time. He was about to leave the office when his radio became alive with a call. A three alarm fire. His heart stopped when he heard the address. Fuck fuck and fuck. 
Like a desperate man he ran to his pickup, checked that he had all of his gear and with sirens howling he drove to the location. 
In that instant his phone went off and accepted it via the button on his steering wheel “Aelin?”
Coughing in the background “Rowan?”
“I am on my way, Are you two safe?”
“Smoke, Rowan, there is so much smoke.”
Why was traffic not moving? Angrily he honked a few times “Listen to me, grab a cloth and wet it and place it on both yours and Maya’s face. Cover mouth and nose and stay low. And Aelin, do not leave the flat until one of us gets in, understood?”
A weak yes came through the call “Is Maya okay?”
“She is so scared.”
“I am almost there, I can see the smoke.” He heard Maya’s voice “Maya, baby I am coming, listen to your mum, be brave a little longer. I am coning.”
The girl cried and Rowan remained on the phone with Aelin until he spotted her building “Ae, I am here. I will see you soon.”
He finally parked and bolted out of the vehicle to grab his gear and join Lorcan who was directing the operation while he arrived.
His eyes lifted to the topmost floor where Aelin lived and relief washed over him when he spotted no fire. It did not mean they were safe though, the smoke was rising quickly and until the building was fully evacuated he would probably not know what normal breathing was again.
“What’s the situation?”
“Fire is on the second floor, we have evacuated the first floor and I have my team, station 7 and 8 on evacuating the level above the fire line,” he explained “The fire alarm did not go off and no sprinklers. The call was raised by a tenant who spotted the fire in his level when he was leaving the house.” Lorcan then looked at his friend terrified face “Brullo, Ress and Ansel are on Aelin’s floor.” And quickly he ran to grab his gear and join his team.
He quickly called for a situation status for each level and anger surged when the second floor’s team reported two victims. 
“Sartaq, take your team inside and go on level two with water support, we need to tackle this quickly.”
A call came through the radio “Chief, I smell electrical fire in sector A.”
Rowan held back Sartaq with his hand. He then looked at him and a nod was all the lieutenant needed to switch to CO2 “Nox, Sartaq is coming in with a lot of CO2 extinguishers.”
“Copy that, chief.”
Rowan was busy giving orders to his team when he spotted a head of golden hair and Brullo carrying a little girl with silver hair. His instincts told him to bolt and ran to them, but he had a job to do, so he just followed Brullo taking them to Asterin in the ambulance, the paramedics placing an oxygen mask on both. He lifted his hand and found it shaking. They are fine, he kept telling himself. They are fine.
Ilias, the captain of station 7, emerged with the two bodies of the victims and the paramedics joined him to ascertain that it was really the case. He walked to the man and stared at the two paramedic confirm that both victims had sadly passed because of extensive burns and smoke inhalation.
“This was in flat 4 on the first floor. It stinks of electrical fire, chief.” The anger in the captain’s voice reflected his own “Thank you Ilias, go and assist Lorcan and the other on level two. We need to contain the fire.”
“Yes, chief.”
It took Rowan and the three station a good hour to finally kill the fire. They had luckily evacuated all tenants when the fire jumped to the third floor.
Rowan looked at his men exhausted and walked to them to thank them for the excellent job and to have a little more of information of what happened inside. Then spotted Nesryn in the distance and joined her “Damn this looks like it was hellish.”
Rowan nodded “We haven’t started overhaul yet.”
The police captain nodded “We have intelligence that this could be arson.”
Rowan groaned. Arson was a nightmare to prove because the fire most of times destroyed all evidence “Are you sure?”
The woman nodded “Seems like Hamel decided the building was not profitable anymore. A residential building most of time is a money pit. He prefers his fancy buildings in the financial district where companies pay hefty rents. Apparently he was trying to make a deal to convert this building to another offices complex, but first had to get rid of the tenants.”
“Two people are dead!” He roared.
“I know. If OFI can prove arson, we have charges for murder and insurance fraud and a lot more.”
“This building is not up to code,” he added with fury “Even if it was not arson, that is enough to accuse him of dereliction of duty. His negligence killed two people.”
“Rowan, I know and that is already gross misconduct but arson would give us another serious accusation, enough to jail him forever because we can prove that the deaths are his fault.”
He paced “I have a drawer full of falsified inspections that should jail him for a long time already.”
“Hamel has ways to get his way out of things, but not this time.”
“My daughter and Aelin lived in that building.” Pain bled into his words.
“They will all have justice, I promise.”
Rowan looked around him where hundreds of people crowded the streets, sat on the pavements with desperation and grief in their faces. In the span of a night they had lost everything.
“We need to help these people.”
“I have contacted mayor Darrow and he is already on the case. Those who don’t have alternative accommodation with friends and family will be offered a place in hotels for now and then a more permanent place.”
Lorcan called him “We are starting overhaul. It will give us an initial ideal of the fire dynamics.”
Before joining the teams he ran to Aelin. Maya tried to wiggle free but Asterin kept her still. He hugged his daughter who cried in his arms “You are safe, my love. I am sorry. I am so sorry.”
His arms extended to Aelin. He looked up at her, at her face covered in soot under the oxygen mask. He pulled her closer “You are both safe.”
Then he stood and walked to his car and came back a minute later “This is my bank card, and my house keys, get yourselves a taxi and go home as soon as Asterin clears you both. I need to stay behind.”
He kneeled to Maya “I will be home soon, go with mum, okay?”
She muttered a quiet okay and he kissed her then kissed Aelin on her forehead “I was so damn scared for you both.” The kiss lingered far longer than expected, then he ran away and into the building.
*
When he finally got home it was deep into the night. Overhaul had lasted much longer than expected but they had managed to find the source in one of the electrical panels in the basement. A water leak in the pipes had caused the fire to spread and reach the first floor where they exploded and let the fire engulf the flat that had been the worst affected. OFI was called on the scene and took photos and samples immediately. Now they had just had to discover if it had been accidental due to the lack of acre of intentionally caused. Either way, Hamel was in a sea of trouble and Rowan was looking forward to the moment when the monster would be behind bars.
By the time he got home he was exhausted and famished.
Quietly he walked into the house and once in the living room he spotted a figure on the sofa. Aelin was sitting there reading a book under a pile of blankets and a small book light “You can put the heating on,” he walked to the panel and switched it on for her and then turned on the lights.
Her face carried the marks of tears. His body moved towards on instinct and sat at her side.
She sobbed loudly and flung herself in his arms. Rowan wrapped Aelin in an embrace and let her cry “It was terrifying… the explosion…”
“Shh… it’s okay. You are safe now.”
Aelin kept crying in his arms “Is Maya asleep?”
“Yes, she is finally down, she was far braver than me.”
“You both were.”
His mouth landed on the crown of her head and left a soft kiss “When I heard the address over the radio is almost died. If—” he pushed his rage down “If I had lost you both I would have been lost man.”
Aelin looked up at him in his beautiful green eyes that still carried fury in them “I am sorry, Rowan. Sorry that I lied, that I kept Maya from you. I—” He did not let her finish speak and his mouth was on hers. It was a soft kiss, full of love. Aelin melted in it, the fire of an ancient love slowly rekindling inside her. How had she lived all this time without him? How did she even thought about dating other men when she knew that no one would measure up to him?
Rowan pulled back and caressed her face “You need to rest.”
Aelin tried to protest but he stopped “We will talk tomorrow. Will make plans when less tired.”
He stood and offered her his hand and together walked upstairs. Aelin gave him a kiss on the cheek before disappearing through her door.
Rowan smiled, his hand touching the point where she had kissed him then walked in Maya’s bedroom.
She was sound asleep, Elf and the shark in her arms.
He had been a firefighter all of his adult life. Had seen many scary situations but nothing will ever compare to the deep unyielding fear he had felt that evening. The idea of loosing them both had the power to destroy him. He had been trying to ignore his resurfacing feelings for Aelin. The woman had been the love of his life and now he was trying to understand how to navigate the strange relationship they were building for Maya. He tried not to dwell too much on the kiss. It was likely the effect of the earlier events and the residual adrenaline.
But staring at Maya sleep, a part of him wished they would become more than roommates.
For Maya.
For the family that they could be.
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37 notes · View notes
2n2n · 4 months
Text
ch 109
we're going to have good funny times.....
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thinking about popping everyone open like pezz dispenser (: maybe Tsukasa was just going to sleep in the big cage in assumption that he'd be brought out to the clockkeepers.... here he is, right where he wants to be!!
ugh its like a dream come true every other panel still... between them...!!! mirroring twins...!!! MOuuuuuu....!!
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ugh shes so ... small ... n
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the girls look at each other curiously......!
I'm very surprised the official documentation is using his real living name. He's almost always only No. 7 or Hanako in the professional sphere and I had the impression his 'real' name just wasn't relevant in this way to anyone, anymore ... even if they knew it. It's not as if this is a government affair, get out his ID... Amane himself looks kind of weirded out to hear it.
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not so business title anymore....
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of course, Akane already knows his identity (+the existence of a brother, named Tsukasa-- not that he'd know from this encounter that 'Tsukasa' is still around in the school or why) after the Severance, as Nene-chan had informed him of all of that:
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so pleasantly introducing himself. Amused you don't know him. I think Tsukasa enjoys his own ambiguity. But I like that, being given 'Tsukasa', Akane can fill in the rest. Right, the twin brother...
aida-sensei really enjoys drawing Tsukasa's pupils as different as can be lately, it is very moe....
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meanwhile.... mr. bitch....
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foosy foosy fussy hussy... it's too funny his response is to be like.. I DIDD'N DO ANYTHING...! huff...! wasting my precious valuable time, annoying....
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thank you Akane for not trusting EITHER Nene-chan nor Tsukasa's possible testimony on Amane.... ♥
Amane getting his karma at last for being a gnasty fuck, GOD BLESS!!! you deserve this so much .... this arc is about Amane getting everything he's had coming to him.... wwwww I'm sorry, you didn't want your otouto to hear you talk like that? Hmmm... but you talk like that in front of Nene-chan all the time! So unfair, your brother should get to know all sides of you, too!
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is it worsened x1000 that he has some history of clock tampering Tsukasa just earlier verbally remembered to him...?. it's a bad look Amane.... Tsukasa's innocent staring eyes, he's listening, he's adding this informations to his memory bank... forever and eternally ever... can't take this back.... become pervert brother... brother who wants to do erotic stuff.... Amane, you want to do erotic stuff? Ne? Amane? Amane, do you? What kind of stuff Amane ? Amane would do erotic stuff if time was frozen? Amane wants to have time powers for that? Hmm.. hm. hm. Informations processed into the Tsutsu
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god amazing panel love it.... Nene-chan already knows, so the devastation is truly from Tsutsu hearing and commenting, isn't it?
I feel like Amane doesn't think about what he says ........ he gets so capricious and thoughtless .... there are consequences, Amane....
I was joking the other day with my husband, that... Amane's problem, is that neither Nene-chan nor Tsukasa have the 'full picture'. Nene-chan knows he is a pervert (as the one sexually harassed by him so often...), but doesn't really understand the depth of his mental problems, how dangerous he can be. Meanwhile, Tsukasa grasps the depth of Amane's mental problems and how dangerous he is, but has no experience with the pervert. So unfair!!
Truly, Amane will only find peace when all of his girls understand all of his heart.
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I'm glad for both Amane getting to experience learning of this plan and I am glad for Tsukasa getting to once again observe Amane having interesting emotions. Another one for the bucket as well in my ongoing crusade to assert to people Tsukasa really is not jealous, he's just interested/curious in Amane's emotions. You wanna kiss? You wanna do erotic stuff? You like when she says that? I take in tha data.
he's a good and honest boy! he tells the truth! maybe when Amane wishes he wouldn't sometimes!
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definitely my favorite page of the update, and my favorite addition to the canon.... ahhh!
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I love how well this expresses the discrepancy in their characters, their thinking.... Amane, attempting to utilize the powers that exist, to modify the clock, to take control of something established... while Tsukasa wonders what would come of utterly destroying it.
I love Tsukasa having such a thought during his life, seeing Amane toil... it makes me wonder if he even knew of the mysteries then, or not; could he know of the implications of destroying it, or was it a simpler kind of fantasy? Tsukasa... has a side of him that is protective of others, defensive even.... when Mokke go after Amane in twitter doodles, Tsukasa tends to come to punish them. Seeing the clock torment Amane, I wonder if it made him resentful of it for disappointing Amane, for evading him, wasting his time... the clock certainly deserves to suffer for failing to amuse Amane, or help him, in his life. I hope it is serene and refreshing to at last get to disintegrate it. Tsukasa having fantasized about it for some time, makes how he revels in it and his particular mood during its destruction so cute ~~ must feel nice to spin its gears around his fingers and dance around on its corpse~~ la la la ~
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so many reasons to be so pleased~~
kind of super relieved in Kako is just some sort of, automaton thang . construct. I'm interested in how Natsuhiko referred to the big clock as a kaii itself, so ... I wonder what No. 1 really 'is' at all?
I wonder what the inside of Mirai is like~
and I wonder what Amane and Teru are going to do about all of this! I'm glad Tsukasa has simplified the altercation. I kind of hope Kako himself is just out of the picture.. we could thin this cast out a little bit.
It's a very action-heavy chapter so I don't have much of depth to offer hehe, it gets like this some times... I'm glad we'll be having a bonus After-School Boy to munch on in just a couple weeks (the 28th?) >w<
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genshinboys · 2 years
Text
ITTO - DATING APP HCS
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WARNING: SMUT
PAIRING: ITTO X FEM READER
Where do I even begin here? Ugh, lol. Raunchy sex, lots of crack and Itto being head over heels with his Little Bumble Bee. I will just say I might be ashamed of some of the things I wrote here xD
“Plot thicker than Itto’s cock” - review courtesy of my lovely beta reader
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Hypothetically speaking, how hard can it be to find a handsome but cute guy with the physique of a bodybuilder and a cock bigger than your dreams? Turns out, not that difficult at all. Especially if you aren’t particularly fussy about his intelligence level. You don’t need another Mr Smarty-Pants with a genius IQ score. Archons forbid. You have had enough of men like these. All you are hoping for right now is a good fuck. A good old pussy pleaser with a charming face to sit on. 
And that is when you swipe right, drooling not too respectfully at the sight of an Oni. An Oni going by the name of Itto, sitting a bit too proudly in his jet-black, too-tight, look-at-my-enormous-dick leather pants on his equally big and just as a black motorcycle.
The smile on his face is promiscuous, too obvious to mistake it for anything else than ‘I will ruin your pussy’ promise hidden behind the upward curve of his lips. BINGO. That’s exactly what you are looking for!
HOLY SHIT! It is a match too!
You assumed it would be more trying of an experience than that. What should you do? Hit him up? Sure, you are looking for a fuck buddy, but you still need to be a little bit..., how do they call it? Hard-to-get? Yeah, yeah. That’s it. This is what you read on the Internet after you had been dumped by your ex - ‘flirt with them, but play hard to get.' Men love the chase. You wish you had googled that before your previous relationship went up in flames together with the last shreds of your dignity. NO MORE HEARTBREAKS. You don’t need men. You just want their cocks.
DING-DING
The phone buzzes, interfering with your moment of eye-opening revelation.
From: Arataki Itto
Hey, bbby gorilla. I bet you smiled when you saw my name pop up on the screen just now :D
You re-read the message a couple of times, thinking that maybe you were too generous about the ‘doesn’t have to be that intelligent’ rule. Haven’t you seen something similar on the Internet already? You know auto-correct can be cruel, but this should be classified as straight-up meme material.
From: Arataki Itto
Baby grill*, sorry!
Should you take screenshots? Your friends would have a field day mocking you and your first failed attempt at finding a hookup. Hey, let’s give him a chance. Maybe, just maybe, it won’t be that bad.
From: Arataki Itto
Dayum, man, this shit is wild. Ignore that, yeah? So, whassup, Sweetie? Can’t believe I fished out such a pretty little thing. Look at you, fancy rags you are sporting there. Isn’t it uncomfortable to wear it every day?
You could be asking him the same thing. His dick cannot be happy, begging for more room in his male-hooker trousers.
To: Arataki Itto
Are you referring to my clothes? It is called a suit. I wear it to work.
You realise that you sound more condescending than it would be generally acceptable, considering the fact that you really want to bounce on that dick sometime soon. Itto doesn’t seem to pick up on it, though?
From: Arataki Itto
WOah, Dude. Are you some kind of businesswoman? 
Yeah, he totally did not get it. He is the most oblivious person in the whole Teyvat. No doubt. You are still counting on a good dick, though.
To: Arataki Itto
Yeah, you might say so. I run my own company.
You don’t want to reveal too much. You are not looking for a hand-in-marriage, duh. He doesn’t necessarily need to know how rich you are. Well, probably he will discover sooner or later, but that’s just not important now. You have a clear goal in mind. After a year of life resembling that of nuns, you really need to let off some steam.
From: Arataki Itto
NO SHIT! That’s so cool, man! I don’t really know much about that. But, I am also someone you might call a big shot, like yourself. Wanna know what I do? :D
You snort out loud, grateful to Archons that you didn’t get to exchange messages with this big dumb-dumb during one of your business meetings.
To: Arataki Itto
Well, let me guess. You are a fearless gang leader and a multiple champion of bug fights? :)
You hit the send button, fully expecting him to tease you back.
From: Arataki Itto
Holy shieet, no way? How did you know? You important people really have your way with things, don’t you? Sweetie, you are a keeper.
The sip of coffee you took ended up jetting out of your face, splashing on the documents and your desk.
To: Arataki Itto
No, Itto. I just read your profile info?
There is a longer period of silence in which you deal with the mess of your soaked papers while all cogs in Itto’s brain come to a screeching halt.
From: Arataki Itto
Sure, I was just fooling with you, Babe. You are a sharp one, though. Cool. Anyways, Sweets, fancy meeting me soon???
Yeah. For some inexplicable reason, you send him a short ‘yes’ answer before your common sense can convince you otherwise.
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Itto is a simple guy. He has never been one for these extravagant restaurants, with menus full of names he could not even read, let alone know what they are. This is not ‘his style’ - he would remark to one of his gang members when they reasoned that maybe he should reconsider the plan for your very first date that his Oni brain had masterfully concocted.
„Listen, here, I know what I am doing, yeah? Such cute little bumblebees like her need a real man, not some old fuddy-duddy snobs. My pockets may not be full of mora, but I am a creative fella. These stuck-up buffoons could never! They simply ain’t no match for me, got it?”
Itto gave a truthful answer, fully believing in every word he said.
 Thus, he waited no further, asking you out on a date at your earliest convenience, which turns out to be today’s evening. The handsome Oni promised to pick you up at 8. To your surprise and dismay, approximately ten minutes before the appointed time, you hear some idiot yelling outside the apartment block. It is getting increasingly louder and more annoying as in addition to these screams equalling the tenacity of a slaughtered boar, there is a deafening sound of a horn that keeps blasting, and it simply won’t stop.
What a nuisance! Your hand twitches; and you would almost mess up the eyeliner if not for the years of experience in the said activity. Ahh! If only you had left work earlier, you wouldn’t be running late to your first-in-ages fucking session with the hottest Oni in the entire Teyvat. This obnoxiously loud moron will not ruin your perfect make-up for tonight’s long-awaited rendezvous. 
„Shut the hell up, you twat!
You stick your head out of the open window and let the guy know what you think about his shenanigans. Everything goes silent, and bless the Archons; you are allowed to finish your make-up in peace before receiving the call from the receptionist.
„Mrs Y/N, I’m very sorry to disturb you, but there is a..., erm, questionable-looking young gentleman in the lobby, claiming that he supposedly has a meeting with you tonight. He forgot the room number, doesn’t have his guest pass and is..., Very rowdy, to say the least. He was making a lot of noise in front of the building just now. Would you like me to maybe, uh, get rid of him?”
A few seconds pass in complete silence before you clear your throat and croak out a quiet ‘I’m coming downstairs’ answer. The receptionist was still very supportive and informed you that he could take care of things himself. You really didn’t have it in you to confess that this ‘questionable-looking young gentleman’ is your date for tonight.
You hurriedly exit the lobby, avoiding eye contact with the discombobulated staff. You hold your head high, and your mouth sets into a grim line when you halt in front of the smirking Oni, leaning smugly against the motorcycle.
„Hey, Sweets. Thought I’d have to climb the damn building to get you out of your birdcage. These dudes here are worse than Kujou Sara’s flunkies.”
Itto roars, laughing so hard at his own joke that you think you are going to die from second-hand embarrassment. Is stupidity contagious? Because if the answer is positive, then maybe you shouldn’t risk so much just for a good round of sex.
„H-Hi, Itto.”
You stutter out a stiff greeting, barely, barely, managing to convince your eyes to rest on his face rather than on the Oni’s bulging penis. Ok, he might be an idiot, but he sure is an eye-candy too.
„Dayum, man, you are such a heartthrob. How are you even single? You must be having a hard time with all of these sleazeballs hitting on you, don’t ya?
Itto praises, having no reservations to ogle your body from head to toe as he takes a step forward, and BOOM, suddenly his lips are brushing over your cheek. It is haste and innocent, but the skin caressed by his soft lips starts to burn, blossoming with a rosy colour. He withdraws unexpectedly, but your nose catches a whiff of his scent - a musky, smooth aroma. It is such an invitingly warm but not too overpowering cologne. It has this slight sweetness on top of it all, with some notes of cashmere and anise that come through first, catching you by surprise at how soothing yet powerful the Oni’s fragrance is. If you had to close your eyes, the first image that would come to your mind would be that of a ‘man’. The realest man. Your pussy throbs in excitement.
„I’ve been doing just fine, thank you.”
You respond awkwardly through the dryness of your throat. Itto flashes his teeth, rubbing at the back of his neck to subdue the sudden wave of shyness that hit him out of nowhere. What is he supposed to say now? It is just not fair for you to be so breathtakingly gorgeous. The over-grown Oni fails to understand how and why he managed to talk you into this meeting.
„You smell good.”
WOAH. All the possible things you could have said, and yet your mouth babbles out one of these observations you would rather not divulge at a first meeting. Well, at least you did not tell him how delicious his cock looks in these whorish trousers. The glass is always half full, as they say.
„Ya think?”
Itto stands there, equally jarred by the boldness of your comment, making eyes at you that leave your throat considerably drier than before. It seems that it was all he needed to come back to his ‘big oni & small brain’ attitude. You didn’t suppose it would come to this, but you actually feel relieved.
„Daww, you flatter me!”
The Oni coos at you, leaning closer, back into your personal space bubble. Crimson red eyes with a fascinating yellow gradient gaze upon you from above. The height difference leaves you dizzy with vertigo. Or maybe it is his ultra-masculine smell that muddles you up? Probably both.
„You sure make my mouth water as well, you petite Bumble Bee.”
Itto’s eyes light up, and they turn narrower with how much he is smiling at you right now.
„So, so small and cute. I bet I could fit you into my pocket, Sweets. The big Oni and his fun-size Bumble Bee. Isn’t that just supercool?!”
Your eye twitches and you are unsure if the not so well-versed Oni wanted to insult or compliment you, but you are still somehow willing to humour him. There is something about him that makes you want to rub your thighs together, irrespective of his intellectual capacity of a peanut. That is actually quite endearing if you were to admit the truth. The towering over you muscle-pig makes some animated movements with his jumbo-big hands, appearing more excited than a kid in the candy shop. Your longing eyes cling onto Itto’s massive palms, giving you all the wrong ideas that could lead to all the positive outcomes.
„Yeah. Super-duper-cool, Itto!”
You tease, but obviously, the red-eyed hottie wouldn’t savvy the laced with sarcasm words even if he used the long dusted in his brain wires.
„High-Five, man!”
He shouts, lifting his arm. Not too high though so that you can comfortably reciprocate the bonding gesture. And you do, flaunting a crooked smile and eyes that stare blankly at Itto’s XXXXL chest. Where does he buy his clothes? Your study the leather jacket - a perfect match for his skin-tight leather pants, underneath which you see a white tank-top. Yeah. 10/10 male hooker outfit confirmed.
„Well, and guess what, Sweets! It is your lucky day! Would you be able to tell why?”
Itto rubs his hands with joy, waiting eagerly for your answer.
„Oh, no. Please, enlighten me..., you biiiiiig Oni Boy.” 
He is thrown off guard again, attempting to hide the rushing to his cheeks heat by a roar of laughter that comes from the deepest depths of the Oni’s belly.
„He he he, you learn fast, Bumble Bee. ”
Itto acknowledges the use of the pet name that he consciously (or not) chose for himself a minute prior. He tries not to ponder on how well it sounds rolling off your tongue. Perhaps, it wasn’t a good idea to call himself that way. 
„I’m taking you to the bug fights!”
Your eyes widen. However, not because you feel ‘lucky’ as stated by the big-tiddied man.
„B-Bug fights?”
Parroting Itto is the best you can do, as you experience a temporary lack of grey matter in your brain. His lack of intelligence has already started rubbing off on you.
„Heck, yeah, Bumble Bee! Authentic BUG FIGHTS! Can you believe it? I’m taking you there on my turbo fast baby too!”
Regardless of his enthusiasm, your face twists into yet another pitiful expression when Itto points to the monstrous motorcycle behind him.
„Not to spoil your plan, Itto, but, um, I-I don’t think I’m dressed for the occasion.”
You peer at him, hoping to wiggle your butt out of this predicament. The Oni regards you with his empty-looking eyes. He worries at his bottom lip, a tell-tale sign of him thinking long and haarddd about how to save the night.
„Uh, how about you come upstairs? We could jus---,”
Itto claps his hands together, destroying your plan to lure him into your apartment and jump on his dick.
„Hey, don’t ya worry your pretty head about it, Bumble Bee! Itto will always come up with the best solutions.”
The red-eyed Oni shimmies out of his leather jacket and sinks to his knees. Wooah, wait a minute? What’s going on? Your eyes shoot to the entrance, where you spot a confused receptionist. He is looking at you with a ‘blink twice if you need my help’ message written across his face. 
„Grab my shoulders. I will cover you up with my jacket so we can hike that skirt up.”
You gasp for air like a fish out of water.
„E-Excuse me?!”
Itto swathes your buttocks with the garment, tying the sleeves together to secure the jacket on your hips.
„It’s all fine, Sweets. I’ll help ya! Just hold onto me nice and tight! Your peach is safe with me.”
His big Oni hands grab the flimsy skirt and push it higher and higher up your thighs, almost revealing your panties! Your body sways as if you were fighting for life on a rocked by the storm boat. The man has no control over his strength! 
„Itto, n-no!”
„Easy, easy. I’m a gentleman.”
Wanting to prove his words, the handsome Oni closes his eyes, further roaming his hands over your exposed skin. You clutch onto his muscular back when Itto continues the uneven battle with the skirt. You really don’t want to focus on how hot and soft his palms feel against the delicate skin of your thighs, but you lose this time as well, succumbing a little deeper into lust.
„And all done!”
Itto grins proudly when he juts his chin up to look at your flushed face. 
„Let’s go, Bumble Bee. We are running late.”
His gigantic hand swallows yours as the deliriously happy big boy leads you towards the vehicle.
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Your first date turned out to be everything but you screaming in pleasure while struggling to take Itto’s oni dick. The hook-up ended without a hook-up as you were dragged to the ‘Bug Fights Arena’ - quoting the ecstatic Itto, which in reality was nothing short of a few make-shift stone platforms with a variety of Onikabutos performing some wild martial-art moves. Itto could not stop babbling about these yucky-looking insects, passionately holding your hand through the entire duration of the duels you were (un)lucky to witness. Unable to contain the bottling inside emotions, it happened that Itto squeezed you too hard. You had to remind him that he was still holding your hand and that it would be nice if he could stop squashing it to a pulp. The oblivious Oni apologised profusely and lifted the palm to his lips to pepper-kiss the skin, only to almost cut off your blood flow a few moments later when he again forgot about how strong he is.
He bought you popcorn and your favourite Tricolour Dango. The handsome Oni was feeding you with the chopsticks, every now and then passing you the extra large boba tea that you both shared. Indirect kiss? Pretty much, yeah. Neither of you seemed to mind. Itto wiped you clean with his thumb whenever he missed your mouth because of how much he was focusing on these stupid bug fights. 
„Ah, sorry, Bumble Bee, my bad. Here, lemme fix that for ya.”
Itto’s crimson pupils were glued to your lips as he was wiping the sweet sugar powder.
„Why do you call me this way?”
You queried, blushing slightly when he licked the sticky powder off his thumb. You two seemed to grow comfortable with one another in a remarkably short time.
„Huh?”
Itto mused, shifting his eyes back to you.
„Why is it, Bumble Bee?”
Itto smirked impishly.
„It is simple, Sweets. I love all the bugs...,”
He inched closer, his lips halting right next to your ear.
„...and bumblebees are the fluffiest and thickest of them all.”
You could have sworn the Oni deliberately let out a warm puff of air to watch you shiver and squirm in your seat.
„Very sexy, just like you and easily my favourite out of all these tiny creatures.”
He whispered, chuckling playfully when you craned your neck to peer at him with a raised eyebrow.
„Excuse me, but I’ve never been compared to a yucky bug. Was that a compliment?”
Itto guffawed like a big dummy, scooping you closer to himself with his large oni forelimb. His finger poked your nose, which further threw you off balance.
„You see? That’s what I’m talking about. The sexiest and cutest little Queen of all the bees.”
You didn’t ask him to elucidate what he meant by it, but you would be a liar if you didn’t admit that it felt nice to know that at least in Itto’s eyes, you are the juiciest bee in the entire hive.
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From: Big Boi Itto
Hey Bumble Bee, hope your day is as nice as your butt :)
Despite the lack of any activities that would fall into the broad category of SEXUAL; your friendship with the Oni doesn’t appear to lose its momentum. In fact, the big dum dum - aka infamous Arataki Itto doesn’t cut you any slack, stubbornly yet steadily heading straight for your heart.
The message you read out during one of these most boring office meetings is a prime example of how well he has been faring. You can’t do much about the silly smile that creeps on your face at yet another Itto’s cheesy pick-up line.
To: Big Boi Itto
Hey, Big Boy <3 Unfortunately, I’m stuck in a meeting. It’s so dull. You have no idea :(
It is hard to believe, but you catch yourself missing the company of the scatterbrained handsome oni idiot. You sigh, a little bit heartsick? The guy delivering the presentation averts your bored and annoyed-looking eyes, spitting out facts and numbers like a robot. Normally, you would be very interested in what he has to say, it is your company, after all. Yet, today you can’t stop daydreaming and getting distracted.
From: Big Boi Itto
Shit, trapped in the same room with a few stuffed shirts? Ugh. My poor little Bumble Bee, you must be bored out of your mind! I can come and kidnap you if you want :D
Another round of giggles threatens to escape your mouth, and you have to hide behind the documents to remain professional. Yeah, these guys sure are a bunch of stuffed shirts. Itto is not mistaken. They all but pale in comparison to Itto’s charismatic personality.
To: Big Boi Itto
I wish. I really wish I could! How about meeting me in the evening?
You send the hit button and start wondering, is it still only about sex? You prefer not to think about it too much, afraid to arrive at answers that would be too hard to accept.
From: Big Boi Itto
Oh, yes, girl! Thought you would never ask, Bumble Bee *smirks* I have something I want to show you tonight, so I’m taking you to my place. I can send you a little sneak peek :D
To: Big Boi Itto
BRING IT ON <3
You respond in a heartbeat, relieved to be entertained by the one-of-a-kind Arataki Itto - the funny but a tad too silly PRO comedian.
From: Big Boi Itto
IMAGE.PNG
Look at that big boy. Impressive, huh?
You download the image and immediately have to cover the gaping in utter shock mouth to muffle the scream bubbling in your throat. A deep red flush raises to your cheeks and spreads lower, much much lower, making it feel like your stomach basically sank to your knees. You are staring at the ONI’S DICK. At the gargantuan piece of Itto’s erected flesh that urgently begs to be swallowed by your pussy right this instant.
„Continue without me.”
You choke out a feeble sounding command that fills the room with awkward silence and stupefied eyes that stick to your face like stink on shit.
You don’t suppose you have ever been in such a desperate need for a moment of privacy in one of the company’s bathroom stalls when you slam the door shut and desperately reach for the throbbing pussy to stuff it full of your fingers. 
Itto’s dick pic.
And nothing else matters to you now.
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How did it all come to this? Your forehead creases the longer you look at the KO’ed Oni, lying like a lifeless log in his bed. The second date also did not progress the way you had thought it would. First of all, how could you have known that a man of Itto’s size could be knocked out by a little bit of chocolate cake? You feel like bawling your eyes out, blaming yourself for the current state of affairs. You move closer to the suffering man, evenly spreading the duvet over Itto’s large body. Your thoughts spiral obsessively, over and over again replaying the events of tonight’s meeting that led to the Oni’s inevitable demise.
1. Out of politeness, as you stubbornly convinced yourself to believe, you came up with the brightest idea to surprise the Oni with a homemade chocolate cake. Sure, many would deem it stupid and unnecessary, especially that he was only meant to become your booty call. However, you could not fight the ‘I-want-to-be-a-good-girlfriend’ whispers at the back of your head.
2. You whipped up the most delicious, flinger-licking good chocolate cake and arrived at his doorstep before the appointed time, with the image of his gigantic Oni cock forever etched in your memory.
3. The conversation flew naturally, without any hitches or awkward pauses that could have been caused by the shockingly nice, however still very unexpected dick pic.
4. Itto was very happy to taste the sweet treat, stuffing his belly full until you practically saw the bottom of the baking pan and there were no crumbs left. 
5. He was eating and eating, showing you his collection of bugs that live happily in the glass houses that Itto had built himself.
„W-Wait, wait, Itto. What photo are you talking about?”
„The snap I sent you today.”
„But you didn’t send me any bugs? You send me your-”
OH FUCK.
„Now, you see that big boy, Baby? Yeah, I’m so proud of him. The biggest and strongest Onikabuto that I’ve laid my hands on. It looks even bigger in reality than in that photo I sent you, right? A real monster!”
6. The realisation hit you precisely the moment Itto’s soy bean allergy kicked in for good, resulting in him almost fainting and getting all delirious and incoherent. The only thing you managed to piece together from itto’s incomprehensible noises was that it must have been triggered by the soy milk, which you had used to prepare the chocolate cake.
7. The grand finale? You had to call your family doctor, who rushed to the Oni’s house with the allergy shots. The poor Oni fell asleep like a baby and hasn’t moved an inch since he got poisoned.
Up until now.
Grunts, pants and whines.
Itto’s eyes groggily crack open, right away landing on your tense facial features. 
„Itto? H-How do you feel? Are you ok?”
The Oni blinks a few times, noticing your small hands wrapped securely around his larger one. He grins, revealing the pearly-white sharp canines that would undoubtedly feel amazing playing with the skin of your neck. WOah, hold on. You almost killed the man, and you still can’t control the horny? SHAME ON YOU!
„Baby,`s fine. I am all fine.”
Itto sits on the bed, pulling your hand to his mouth to kiss it a couple of times before he flashes you the signature Oni smirk, hoping to relax you.
„It was just a little virus in the system, nothing to be worried about. Hey, Bumble Bee, what’s with the long face?”
Itto tries his best to cheer you up, but the tears start pricking at your eyes.
„It’s my fault, all my fault.”
You choke on a sob, and violent little shivers take over your chin. His oni fingers grasp the jaw delicately. They essentially cover half of your face. Itto’s heart picks up the speed. He is not prepared to see his little Bumble Bee cry. 
„No, no, no, hey, Baby, look at me, look me in the eyes.”
Itto instructs in a warm tone, although internally, it feels as if somebody was ripping his heart out alive. Both of his hands cup your face that adorably drowns in their bulky size, awakening longing and other emotions whose names are yet unfamiliar to Itto. All he knows is that he can’t bear to see you cry.
„You did nothing wrong, Baby. You are perfect.”
And then, it happens. Itto’s lips brush over your eyelids first before you feel yourself being pressed against the warmth of his chest, against the solid muscles of his abdomen that draw tight once your soft finger pads rest on the Oni’s firm body. He is so warm, or rather hot, scorching hot like the rays of sunshine in the peak of summer. It takes you a while before your synapses fire properly to understand that Itto is kissing you. He is kissing you as if the act itself could possess your soul, and, to be frank, it isn’t too far from the truth.
Itto moans into your lips, effectively turning your brain into a Jell-O with his unabashed display of want, thundering against his Oni veins. He could choke you to death with these hands that swathe your face and neck, and you wouldn’t even notice. He kisses your lower lip, dragging it slowly between his sharp teeth and your ability to reason flies out of the window.
„Baby-”
Itto pants, and you can’t comprehend why his lips are suddenly so far away from yours? You tug at his tank top, attempting to yank him close, but let’s be honest, the effort is futile. A small mouse lunging at an elephant would be more successful than you now.
„W-Why did you stop, why-,”
Itto places a sloppy kiss on the centre of your lips to shush you.
„I need you to know that I’ve never had more fun than with you. All the other girls wanted me for my looks. Ya know, big Oni and his big cock, this type of shit, I was so fed up.”
Itto fires the shots, wanting to be utterly transparent with you. His hand wanders to the small of your back, and he effortlessly lifts you, placing you in his lap. Your body arches into his, fingers getting tangled in his white Oni mane as your bodies mould together perfectly.
„Nobody ever listened to me. These chicks, they all just wanted to, uhm..., You know what I mean.”
You nod, rocking into his pelvis, which sends a jolt of electricity down your spine. Itto’s fingers sink into the fat of your hips. He breathes out laboriously, eating you up with his gaze in a most affectionate manner despite the sparks of need that light up his crimson pupils.
„Then, when it was all over, they left me each time. But you are different. You went to see the Bug Fights with me and, and you, uhm, you took care of me when the allergy knocked me down, he he he...,”
Itto hides his embarrassment behind a forced chuckle, all the time gauging your reactions. He doesn’t want to scare his Bumble Bee away. He cannot afford to lose you when you are all he has ever dreamt about, if not more.
„Thank ya for that, all of it.”
He finishes barely above a whisper, peering sheepishly at you.
A thick lump forms itself in your throat, and you swallow hard at the most beautiful and honest words you’ve ever heard coming from a man. Itto can be a big and intimidating Oni, but deep down he sure is just an adorable and soft idiot. 
„Will you cuddle with me for a bit? I still feel a tiiiny bit drowsy. Will that be ok, huh?”
A tear-jerking question forces you to bury your head in his chest. You pull him close to you, failing to control the series of weird sniffles.
„You are such a dummy, Itto. Go to sleep.”
You hold him close, making a mental promise to protect his fragile Oni heart.
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Unconventional situations require equally unusual measures. After a good couple of weeks of dating the Oni; having seen dozens of bug fights, having travelled hundreds of kilometres seated behind the Oni’s broad back with your hands securely wrapped around his ripped abdomen as he was taking you places on his motorcycle, and finally having pushed through a good share of Itto’s neglected boners, you know the time has come. 
It is another one of these cosy ‘Netflix and chill’ evenings, with the big Oni boy crashing at your place and breathing life into you after a long day spent at the office. He would come, crack a few of his dumb Oni jokes, tell you a story from his not so shady gangster life and eat half of your fridge while never forgetting to spoon-feed you as he devours anything that doesn’t contain soy beans. Not that he would find anything like that in your pantry. It is worth mentioning that since the gruesome incident, you have gone ‘soy-bean-free’, totally manifesting your support for the Oni’s condition. Itto has been nothing but the sweetest little (ok, not so little) ray of sunshine, and you will not wait even a day longer to take your relationship to the next level.
However, the Oni has absolutely no clue about your plan when he enters your apartment with a bag full of snacks for tonight’s cuddling & watching TV date.
„Bumble Bee, I am ho-,”
Itto feels his throat jamming, and the shopping bag slips out of his hand, landing on the floor.
„Hi, Big Boy.”
Itto really, really tries not to look. He does his absolute utmost not to stare open-mouthed at the bumblebee tank top and shorts but fails nonetheless. The almost-sheer, ultra-fine set emphasizes each and every delicious curve of your body and..., Ohhh, Celestia help him! Is he seeing nipples poking through the paper-thin fabric? Are you not wearing any underwear today? The bumblebee print in the middle of your boobs stretches, revealing the busty shape of your chest, leaving very little to the Oni’s imagination. Itto’s brain simmers like an egg on a frying pan when he drops his gaze lower, down to the skimpy shorts with a lacy hem digging into the flesh of your thighs. Camel-toe? Oh, noooo, please no. A stifled sound of a tortured to death beetle is wrung out of the Oni when you part your thighs and pat your belly, smiling softly at the almost-deceased Itto. There he sees your fanny, your cutest little pussy lips swelling thickly against the barely-covering your peach shorts. Your breasts shake and jiggle, flowing like the rolling waves in the sea once you lift yourself higher on the sofa to have a better look at your afraid to move or breathe Oni boyfriend. 
„Come here and cuddle. What are you standing there for, hmm?”
You pat the belly again, making it clear that you want him between your thighs, with his head resting on these curvaceous boobs and dick nestled in your labia, hugged tightly by the puffiest pussy flaps Itto has ever seen. He sucks in a sharp breath, sounding pretty much like the Oni demon he is when your bum moves from side to side, inviting him to alleviate the yearning in his groin that stirs his dick to full hardness right in front of your eyes. Itto knows you can see it. There is just no way with how much his cock-head swells when you just as much as come too close to the touch-starved Oni. You have been nice enough not to make fun of his over-the-roof sexual drive, for which he is very, very grateful.
„Itto? Is something wrong?”
You nag him, nag him to come and put that thickened cock on your exposed cunt.
„I, uh, I just love that look, Baby is all. Got me a little shaken for a moment, yeah.”
Itto stutters out and bends in half to pick up the bag with snacks, which gives him a top-tier, almost a bird’s eye view over your plump little hole. He hears you giggle at has to stop to adjust the pants that start to annoy the shit out of him and his bulging in need penis.
„I’m so happy you like it.”
You sing song, and Itto’s eyes are heavy on you, on your nipples that stand at full attention, calling him to suck them till he tastes your sweet milky-bee nectar on his tongue.
„Like it? No, Baby. I’m losing my mind over it.”
Itto discards the bag on the coffee table, uninterested in the box of ice cream that must be turning into a wet and sticky puddle, very much like the content of his boxers.
Another gut-wrenching, dick-choking giggle. Itto’s eyes are absent, feral as if he has lost the remaining brain cells that so far have helped him to keep a pretty good lid on things. 
„I have missed you so much, Big Boy. Come and crush me with this Oni body of yours.”
That is too much for Itto. Way too fucking much. It is like his whole body has already started to sizzle with need, and you are just adding fuel to the fire, making him burn. Leaning down slowly, his eyes are following yours. 
„Bumble Bee, yer asking so nicely, how can I say no~”
Itto’s eyes sink to your unguarded hole as he slides that monster of a cock between your spread legs. You haven’t touched him, and he feels ultra-hard. You are guessing it must be borderline painful, even. You bite your lip. Excitement paints your cheeks in a rosy colour. You suddenly feel yourself drawn into a kiss as Itto positions himself. You lift your legs up, digging the heels into the meat of Itto’s hard ass to force him to lower his hips. His fat cock brushes over your tiny cunt, and the Oni’s muscular pecs push into your much softer and so much more delicate boobies. Itto really is crushing you, taking your breath away as he rests his entire body weight on your petite one, merely granting your wish. 
„I might sting Ya a little bit, Hun. Your Papa Bee has some issue down here.”
Yeah. You can feel that ‘issue’ very well. It’s your turn to moan as you writhe underneath Itto to rub all over his cock, dragging you both into that lust-driven hell.
„S-Shit, Babe, uh-, can you like, f-fuck, stop fidgeting so much?” 
Itto’s cock jumps when you laugh at him like a fucking brat that needs to be punished.
„Make me, Papa Bee.” 
It jumps again, thrashing against your weeping hole. The Oni could snap you in half like a stick if he lost control over his actions. You both know it, yet you continue teasing his dick, to the point he can’t take it anymore, so he grabs your waist with his hand. It looks ridiculously big on you, covering at least half of your stomach. Itto kisses you, no, basically devours your lips, naive enough to think that it will shut you up. Damn, that Oni blood circulating in his veins, that steroid-fed cock and his ridiculously overgrown body---,
„Mhmm, Itto, you-you are leaking on my pussy.”
You mumble the words into his mouth, eliciting an animalistic groan from your demon-like boyfriend. Drool dribbles down your cheek because of how stubbornly Itto is sliding his tongue against yours, pushing it down your throat as if he intended to choke you with it. Thinking very little of the consequences of your actions, your hands anchor in his hair, only to grope the pair of the Oni’s red and spiky horns. The man whines - whines like a beast in heat. 
„What if your Bumble Bee wants to be stung, huh?”
That is about the time when Itto fucking loses it, loses it for good.
„Ya little Flower is thirsty for Papi’s cock huh? You’ll fucking sob and beg when I make you sit on it and take every fucking inch into that greedy little cunt.”
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!
„Yes, Itto, please, yes!”
The Oni growls, angry, out of his mind, totally gone. He tugs at the bumblebee tank top, tearing it down your body with his black claws. Your perky globes jiggle from side to side, and he lunges at them, stuffing his face full of your boob as if he wanted to eat it. The wet and long oni tongue laps at your bud, circling it, sucking and kissing without a moment's break to swallow the spit that makes your chest wet. Fireworks explode below your navel, and you keep pushing your cunt onto his thickened, swollen and licking pre-cum gigantic cock. He reaches for the other breast with his palm, kneading it and fumbling as he moans and groans, giving out these sounds that resemble the heat of a battle rather than some tit-sucking & vanilla sex.
„I’ll stuff you so full you will feel me in your fucking lungs. That’s how badly your Papa Bee will sting you, Hun.”
Ok. That threat actually intimidates you, especially when the sex-drunk Oni kneels before you and pulls his pants down. You can only watch in silence as his gigantic cock falls out like a felled Otogi wood. It is so heavy it bends under its own weight, looking as if it wanted to scare you and ruin any other sex you have ever had with anybody. Scratch that - it is already better than anything you have ever experienced. Your eyes glaze over, and your eyelid twitches nervously.
„Huh? You suddenly forgot how to use your mouth, Bumble Bee?”
The oni roars, laughing so heartily you think he might fall off the couch. You shake your head in denial, pussy burning and throbbing so badly you have half a mind to impale yourself on this pulsing slab of meat, even if it would probably make you cry in pain.
„Papa Bee will remind Ya, Flower~, just give it time. First, I shall taste your sweet honey juice. It smells so nice my mouth is salivating"
Itto is more merciful with your shorts, scraping them off you with his claws instead of ripping them to shreds just like he did with your tank top. He crumples them in his fist and brings them to his grinning face to take a whiff of your pussy. He lets out a lewd moan, all the time holding them to his nose and inhaling as if he was a junkie.
„Sweetest nectar for Papa Bee, only, only mine.”
Itto snarls in his pussy-high trance, baring the pearly fangs that could pierce through your skin like a dagger through butter. He goes down on you, rubbing, nibbling and licking his way from your quivering thighs up to the honey-leaking hole. Itto’s furnace-warm hands reach to your back, cupping your full cheeks and squeezing.
„Fucking delish. Booty worth of a Queen Bee. So supple and tender.”
Itto watches entranced how your legs shake and your hips move in tiny, little thrusts, telling him clearly what you want. Oh, and Itto will deliver. Yes, he will.
Still clasping your bottom, he tugs you closer and nudges in with his nose, spreading your pussy lips as if he was opening a flower bud which hasn’t bloomed yet. 
„Oh, Itto! Yes!”
„Mhmm!”
Itto groans back, dipping his tongue and swirling it low, reaching for the depths of your hole.
„Gimme all your juice, all that gooey sweetness on my tongue, Bumble Bee~.”
The Oni demands, caressing the throbbing nub of flesh, swallowing the tasty and warm essence that starts overflowing his mouth, trickling down his jaw. He licks into the lips of your sex, drinking, slurping and breathing in the syrupy-flavoured liquid.
He dines on you until you whimper in over-stimulation until you try to push him away as you climax again and again. The sofa is a mess - wet from the mix of the Oni’s saliva and your cum.
„I can’t, no-no m-more, no! Please! Itto-ahh, no!”
You are dying and living. Flying in the Oni’s arms. Spinning and shaking. 
„What? Isn’t it what you wanted, Flower?”
Itto chuckles at your misery, having kissed your pussy for one last time. He faces you, licking the remnants of your squirt from his sticky lips. You are suffocating, barely able to breathe and even lying seems too difficult for you.
„I ain’t even started with you yet, Hun.”
Without a word of warning, the big Oni holds you by your waist and lifts you as if you weighed nothing. A fucking inflated doll, at best. Itto fancies switching your positions, and soon after, he is the one resting on his back while he has you seated on top of him. He bends his arm and puts it under his head to get himself comfortable. Meanwhile, you are trembling and shaking, clinging to his torso for stability as the world whirls chaotically before your eyes.
„C’mon, Flower. Mouth on Papa Bee’s sting, quick.”
He pats your bum a few times to make you regain your consciousness, a gentle reminder that he is still going to fuck you, regardless of how tired you are. 
„Don’t make me repeat myself, m’kay?”
You nod, sliding down his body with no strength in muscles left. Itto’s right hand is securely wrapped around your hip to make sure you won’t slip away.
„Yes, just like that. A few licks, Sweets. Trust me. It is for your own good. We wouldn’t like to rip your pussy with my dick, right?”
You nod again, more frantically. Although, you are worried that no amount of lube or saliva could save your cunt from getting destroyed tonight. You peer at your overgrown lover for one last time. The demon with horns and his gargantuan cock. Yes. This is what you see when you dip your head and open your mouth as wide as you can to take him into your mouth. Well, this is an exaggeration. It should be said that you try to take some part of the bulging piece of flesh into your cracking and numb from the over-stretch jaw. Itto hisses, irrespective of how badly it’s going so far. His hips buck and his cock jumps in your mouth as soon as your tongue comes into contact with the throbbing monster. 
„Fuck, Flower. Don’t suck too hard. I wanna cum in your tiny little cunt. Ya hear me? Papa Bee will be nasty if you don’t behave like a good girl.”
You whimper and blink twice to let him know that you are not going to risk being too bratty this time. For now, at least.
„Good little Bumble Bee. So perfect, aren’t Ya?”
Your head bobs up and down, sucking with just a reasonably decent amount of pressure, careful not to anger the Oni as your gag reflex is being tested like never before. You slurp just as loud as Itto did, gliding smoothly up and down the girthy penis. He moans and groans prettily, and your cunt starts aching for his touch yet again. Just how much of a whore are you? This man has turned your brain into sex-craving mush.
„That’s it. That’s enough.”
Itto pants heavily, writing underneath you.
„Sit on Papa’s cock now, huh? I think I have to be in you now.”
Uh-huh. It’s about the damn time.
You gasp when he pulls you close by your hip, forcing you to sit with your pussy hovering over the reddened slab of veiny meat. Trembling with fear and excitement, you close your eyes, attempting to control the agonizingly slow descent of your hips onto Itto’s impatient length. You are mind-blowingly hot on top of him. The handsome Oni rakes your hair back to look at your glossy eyes and slutty face. He doesn’t want to be that mean to you today. You have been such a docile little Bumble Bee that he decides he can help you swallow up that big boy. Itto’s hands dig into the fat of your hips, lowering you down on his dick, inch by inch, sob after sob.
„Itto you are too big! Too fucking big!”
You cry and cry, wondering how long you have been at it already? Why hasn’t he bottomed out yet? How many more inches do you have to take in? You look at him, irritated and disheartened. You punch his chest with your tiny fist, making the tiddy bounce. Itto coos, not fully able to hide his amusement. Yet, he lets you take your time. After all, he could simply split you open and pull your organs to pieces with a single thrust of his cock.
„Shush, Flower. You are doing so well. We are almost there~.”
Fat tears roll down your cheeks as you feel the burn of your hole being stretched, elongated and expanded to accommodate the Oni’s penis. You feel him reaching the undiscovered depths of your gummy walls, brushing over such intimate places that your whole groin buzzes with need.
„J-just fucking help me! Help me Itto! Do something finally, you idiot!”
Your heart-wrenching sob tugs at Itto’s heartstrings. He doesn’t answer as his mouth is being busy emitting a guttural moan when his hips piston forward, right into your tight cunt with such strength that you would nearly topple over if not for Itto’s grip on your hips.
Archons above!
This is insane. He must be reaching up to your throat. There is just no way he isn’t with how full it feels, with how big the re-appearing bulge in your stomach is when he slams into you, making you jump on him as if you were riding an enraged bull.
„Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!”
You scream, not even bothering to hold onto the non-stop moving Oni. Itto uses you like his cock-sleeve, pushing you up and down his dick with crazy speed, filling you so well that white spots and stars begin to dance everywhere around you as another whine-wringing orgasm explodes in your groin.
„Yes, cover my dick with your honeyed juices, cream on me, Baby.”
Itto’s abdomen muscles have been fighting very hard to deny himself the release, wanting to utterly wreck you before he paints your insides white with his thick spurts of cum. He has been struggling a lot to remain in control, and now is the right time to reward himself for all his hard work.
„Gonna, cum Bumble Bee. Hang in there for a little while longer.”
Easier said than done, you think briefly, before Itto thrusts even faster and deeper into your dripping, abused hole, chasing his high like a wild animal. It takes a few more precise snaps of his hips, and the gossamer liquid starts jetting out of his gigantic cock-head, practically spilling out of your loosened hole as it can’t take everything Itto has stored for you in his heavy balls.
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It seems like you have lost consciousness for a short while, regaining your clarity to being spooned by Itto in your own bed. He is nuzzling into your neck with his nose, massaging the bruised hips with a circular movement of his chubby fingers over your skin. Itto purrs when your body stirs in his arms.
„Bumble Bee, Ya ok?”
Itto’s tone is laced with worry.
„Have I been too harsh on you? Sorry, I kinda lost it there. Sorry, Baby.”
He really sounds apologetic, making butterflies explode in your stomach. You shift slightly to take a look at his face.
„No, no. I loved it. You are amazing, Itto.”
You kiss his forehead tenderly, relieved to see the comeback of the Oni’s cocky smirk.
„Also, I didn’t mean to, erm, call you an idiot. That was, uh, you know...,”
You trail off, and Itto chuckles like the goof he is.
„All fine, Sweets. No offence taken. You might have called me an idiot, but your pussy was telling me a different story.”
The Oni comments proudly, flashing more of his sharp teeth. Your face flushes bright red, and you punch his shoulder in retaliation.
„Shut up! You really are an idiot!”
Itto doesn’t let you say another word, claiming your lips passionately. 
„I might be an idiot, but I am only your idiot, Bumble Bee.”
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toomuchracket · 6 months
Note
mads how about mrs mac going into labour, maybe even when Ross is on tour
combining with I can’t stop thinking about Ross just being so soft and caring whilst wifey is in labour also hope you feel better soon darling ❤️ (and thank you! i'm not really. but it is what it is)
let's talk about keir's birth. i think it happens during a show at least somewhere in the uk, if not london itself, because there's no way ross (or any of the boys, or d word girlie coordinating things) would even chance him being in a different part of the world from you for at least a month and a half before your due date - which, by the way, is two weeks later than the date keir ended up arriving on. anyway, there's genuinely a show scheduled for that day, and you're chilling backstage at it, laughing at eilidh shoving hairclips into both her dad and matty's hair, when you start to feel a bit... odd. you go to the toilets, with d word girly (not dating matty at this point, btw) being like "hmmm you look a bit out of sorts. i'll come with you"; thank fuck she does, because pretty much as soon as the door to the girls' toilets closes behind you, your water breaks. you start to say "babe, please go and get ross", but she's one step ahead of you, bless her, like "i'll get him, i'll make sure matty's got eilidh, i'll make some calls", and then she hesitates like "are you sure you'll be ok on your own?" - you wave her off, and it's fine because ross is at your side in under a minute, checking to make sure you're alright and hugging you like "we're alright, everything's alright. just means we get to meet our boy sooner than we thought, yeah?", and you're genuinely quite calm. the same can't be said for the other room, where the tour promoter is genuinely trying to suggest that the gig tonight could still go ahead because "matty plays bass, right?" - matty literally puts his hands over eilidh's ears so she cant hear him say "i can, but also no fucking way am i missing this. this baby is basically another sibling for me. we're rescheduling the gig. end of", and then looks at girly to be like "is that going to be too much extra work for you, darling?", to which she's like "matty our friends are having a baby it's worth it" lol. it takes a while until your contractions are close enough that you can go to the hospital, but the couple of hours' wait is fairly pleasant; you're not in too much discomfort, and you're content to just sit with your husband and daughter (who is hyped about the happenings) and let everyone fuss over you. when it's almost time for keir to make his entrance, you kiss eilidh goodbye and tell her to be good for everyone while she waits for her baby brother, and she skips off with matty holding one hand and girly holding the other (hellish for them i fear) so everyone can congregate at adam's, before mark drops you and ross at the hospital. it's a quick labour, relatively straightforward, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like fuck; as you push, ross half-hugs you as best he can, kissing your forehead and reassuring you like "i know it hurts, my love, but you're almost there. a few more pushes, and we'll have our baby boy. doing so well, i love you so much". when keir starts to properly make his debut in the world, you clutch your husband's hand so tightly that it's probably agonising, but he doesn't mention it at all, just keeps cooing praises and brushing your hair from your face, while the midwives keep you updated on how, um, increasingly present keir is lmao. with a final push, he's here, tiny baby cries filling the air and mixing with sniffles from mum and dad - ross weeps when he gets to cut the umbilical cord, crying even harder when he watches you do skin to skin with your son and then when he gets to meet him for the first time himself. keir's a far less fussy baby than his sister was, so it isn't long before ross is sitting holding him against his chest while you sleep, just rubbing keir's tiny little back and feeling so overwhelmed that his boy is here and healthy and hopefully happy. yeah, it's all just so so soft and sweet <3
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bellysoupset · 9 months
Text
Alas! Finally the kitty fic:
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It wasn't raining, it was pouring. Jonah winced as he looked out of the window, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater and walking across the room, so he could turn up the thermostat a little bit.
It was quite the uneventful Friday. Leo had court today, so he was late and hadn't texted, but Jon wasn't worried, since that was par for the course. He had done his clinic hours in the morning and then gone home, spending the rest of the evening fixing up the place.
Vince wasn't a super messy guy, but he wasn't extra neat either and he had been unable to move for a while. Now he was back in the dorms, despite Leo complaining it was silly not to stay another week, at least so he could remove the sling, but Vin was nothing if not a very proud guy.
So now he was gone and Jonah couldn't help but relax a little bit. He had liked having the guy around and liked helping his friend, feeling like his care actually was being translated into understandable, tangible acts, but he was also very relieved to have him gone. It was good to have home just to the two of them again.
Jonah huffed as he fished out a pair of Vin's socks from the washing machine and rolled his eyes, throwing it in the dryer alongside the rest of their clothes.
This was something else that was new. Doing laundry.
He used to simply send his clothes down, his fancy building had a laundry service and they sent up the clothes ironed and smelling amazing. Leo, though, was against them using it. In his own words "you're a fucking adult, just use your washing machine."
So they did laundry now, or at least everything except for Leo's suits and Jon's fussy shirts, because neither of them were about to iron those.
Jon was sorting the frozen meals - finally they could have lactose again - when the landline rang. No one ever phoned him home, ever, so he frowned and reached for it immediately.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Banks, hello. It's Matthew from the front desk," the older man said and Jonah raised his eyebrows as he wondered why the call. Certainly they hadn't received any packages past six o'clock when it was raining hell outside.
"Hi, Matthew," Jon frowned, "what's the matter?"
"I might be overstepping, sir," Matthew sounded a little fearful, "but Mr. Wagner's been sitting in his car in the garage for at least thirty minutes now and I'm a little concerned."
"How did-"
"The cameras, sir," Matthew explained and Jon nodded, realizing a minute later the man couldn't see him.
"You're not overstepping at all, Matthew, thank you for calling. I'm gonna go check on him, thanks."
"You're welcome, sir. Have a nice evening."
Jonah hung up and immediately went to retrieve his phone. There was no new text from Leo. Uh. Very weird.
He put his shoes back on and left the apartment, deciding to investigate.
True to what Matthew had said, Leo was sitting in his own car - a much older car, that Jonah generally despised with his whole being. The driver's door was open, one of Leo's legs hanging outside and the engine was off.
"Leo?" Jon asked, stepping closer and beyond confused, "baby, what are you doing sitting here?"
"Hey..." Leo sounded exhausted, but most importantly, his voice had a super soft characteristic that sent alarm bells through Jon. He moved closer to get a good look of his boyfriend and then frowned.
Leo was soaked wet. His suit, his tie, his hair, everything was a shade darker, as if he had jumped on the deep end of a pool instead of just catching some rain before getting in the car. His face was really pale.
"What the hell happ- What's that?" Jonah interrupted himself as he realized Leo was holding something to his chest.
"It's a kitty," Leo said softly, then sniffled grossly and Jon started to get the full situation. He ignored the cat and reached in, planting his hand to Leo's forehead. It was burning up.
"You have a fever, Leo," Jonah said flatly, "a high one, I'm guessing. Where did you get that thing?"
"Don't call him that," Leo scoffed, gently playing with one of the kitten's triangular ears, "he's so sweet-"
"Don't kiss that!" Jonah scolded as he watched, with a grimace, as his boyfriend planted a kiss on top of the animal's little head, "it's probably full of diseases!"
"Don't be mean," Leo scoffed, smoothing the cat's fur, "he was crying behind the courthouse, behind some boxes."
"I'm guessing you got yourself soaked trying to capture it?" Jonah rolled his eyes, "okay, baby, get out of the car. You need to get out of these wet clothes, they're probably freezing."
"He had no one," Leo whined, not moving as he continued to pet the cat, "he was all alone, there was no mom..."
"Okay, Leo," Jonah rolled his eyes, grabbing his arm and pulling him out, "we're gonna get that thing to a shelter, but first you need a hot shower-"
"Shelter?" Leo's blue eyes were sparkling with the fever, big on his face. He squeezed the cat closer to his chest, causing the little animal to meow and paw at his tie, "no shelter," he blinked quickly, "please, Jon, not a shelter..."
Jonah frowned. He knew this voice well enough now to know this was something deeper, a trigger just waiting for him to be dumb enough and pull it. Instead he shook his head, "Okay, no shelter. I'm sure someone at the hospital will love it-"
"I'm not giving him away" Leo scoffed, once again kissing the cat and causing Jonah to cringe in disgust, "look. at. him, Jon," he held the pet to Jon's face, "he's the cutest thing! And- And he was all alone! And he needed someone... He needs a family!"
"Okay..." Jonah cringed, ignoring the cat's pitiful face right under his chin, instead looking at his boyfriend, "baby, let's just go upstairs, alright?"
Leo nodded, hiccupping and causing Jon to frown as he slammed the door shut, "is your belly upset?"
"No, I'm just cold," he said, teeth chattering, "you like him, don't you?" he continued to pet the cat, "he's so cute."
Jonah rolled his eyes, "yeah, adorable," he pushed Leo towards the elevator, "when did this fever hit you?"
"I have a fever?" Leo asked, completely enthralled by the kitten in his arms, "I think he's not a stray, his spots look fancy."
"It's a cat, Leo," Jonah huffed, cupping his boyfriend's cheeks, "baby, when did you start feeling sick?"
"I'm not sick," Leo pushed his hand away, grabbing his wrist and forcing Jonah to pet the cat, "what should we name him?"
Jonah stared at it, unimpressed. He had never been a pet person, ever. Not even back when he was a kid, his mom used to keep fancy birds and his father had one hunting dog, but Jonah had kept his distance from both pets.
The kitten meowed, still busy playing with Leo's tie. It was a really small thing, with big blue eyes and white fur, with some dark beige spots all over it. It's nose was a dark brown triangle and yeah, it was alright.
"Leo, can you answer me, please?"
"What about?" Leo sniffled again, resting his head on Jon's shoulder and smiling at the kitten, "hi, babyyy..."
"When did you start feeling sick?" Jonah repeated the question, pressing his lips to the blonde's forehead. He was burning up.
"Uhm, I was feeling pretty crappy during court..." Leo's voice broke and he grimaced, pressing a fist to his mouth as he started to cough, "I guess-" he coughed again, startling the animal, that started to climb his suit jacket, "after lunch...? Hey, where are you going..."
Jonah glared as the cat tried to hook it's claws on his sweater, "get it off of me."
"He's not gonna hurt you, he's just exploring," Leo said, his voice a lot more scratchier, "c'mere, sweetheart..."
"Stop kissing this thing, Leo, you're gonna get mono or fucking toxoplasmosis from it."
"Toxo-what?" Leo chuckled, "the pregnant women thing?" he clearly found it amusing, as he snuggled closer to Jon, trying to steal his warmth, "he's not gonna make me sick, don't be silly."
"Sure," Jonah let out a sigh of relief as the elevator came to a stop, "okay... Give me the thing."
"You mean the kitty?" Leo pouted, holding it defensively.
"Yeah, you need to get in the shower, baby. You're freezing to death," Jonah made a face as he attempted to grab the cat so Leo could shower. The blonde jumped back, his shoes squishing water.
"You're not gonna get rid of him, are you?" he pouted, holding the kitten close to his heart, "I love him."
Jon scoffed, "took you months to say I love you to me, you prick," he said, trying once again to grab the kitten. The animal hissed at him and Leo immediately cooed.
"See, he knows you're trying to get rid of him," Leo glared at him, "I'm not gonna give you the kitty."
"Oh for fuck's sake, Leo!" Jonah exclaimed, moving faster and snatching the pet, only to be scratched. He dropped it, by accident and the kitten immediately ran from him, hiding under the couch, "ah, bloody hell-"
"Why would you do that!" Leo cried out, rushing to the couch, "he didn't do anything to you, stop being such a fucking grinch!" he dropped to all fours near the couch and reached out with a hand, saying softly "here pspspsp, c'mere sweetheart..."
Jonah stared at him, then back at his hand. Baby claws or not, the kitten had managed to break skin and left a little bloody cut on the back of his hand. He pinched his nose bridge, "Leo-"
"He's got no one!" Leo shouted at him, not even bothering to look his way, "and he needs us!"
"You're sick," Jonah sighed, rubbing his temple, "the fever is making you emotional. A pet is a big responsibility-"
"I'm not emotional," Leo scoffed, falling on his ass and glaring at him, "I've always wanted a pet. This is my home. He needs a family. We're keeping him."
Jonah's mouth dropped and he tried to come up with an argument - one that wasn't absolutely not - but instead he snapped it shut, "can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"No," Leo shook his head, then coughed in the crook of his elbow. Deep, chesty coughs that made Jonah want to step closer and rub his back, an instinct he fought valiantly and stood his ground. Leo rasped for breath and glared at him again, "no. I'm not budging on this, Jon. I want it."
"And I don't want it," Jonah frowned, but he could feel his own will quickly melting away. It was rare Leo was ever this adamant about something. Clearly this was important.
"I'm not gonna beg for it," Leo's voice was steel, rasp be damned.
Jon shook his head, "I don't want you to beg. I want us to talk..." he trailed off, then rolled his eyes as the cat slipped from under the couch and climbed between Leo's legs, sitting on his lap like a pocket sized leopard. It was a little bit cute, he conceded, "is this a deal breaker for you?"
"Yes," Leo's said strongly, although his shoulders dropped as he realized the battle won.
Jonah nodded, then glared at the cat, "we're not naming it something stupid like Snowball."
"Okay," Leo grinned.
"And it stays off the bedroom."
"Okay," Leo's smile only grew.
"And stop kissing that thing until we get it checked by a vet."
"Fine, done," Leo said happily, "can we go to a vet in the morning?"
"Sure," Jon rolled his eyes, "now give me the cat, you need a shower still."
"Be gentle with him," Leo said softly, picking up the cat and the quickly kissing it one last time, causing Jon to scowl at him, "couldn't help it."
"You're not kissing me," Jon scoffed, pointing the hallway and taking the kitten, "go wash up, I'll- I'll find a box for- For him."
"Look at it, Jon," Leo smiled, using the couch to pull himself up, "he's adorable."
"If you say so," Jonah looked down at the cat and yeah, it was a little fucking adorable, trying to climb his sweater and meowing pitifully, "shower, Leo."
"I'm going," Leo said, still with a huge smile on his face and a dreamy look on his glazed eyes, "I'm just... Just give me a second."
Jonah let out a huff and smiled, "you huge sap," he said, then petted the kitten behind it's ears, smiling when the animal snapped it's head, trying to nibble at his finger, "he's like a little leopard."
"Yeah," Leo's voice was dripping with sweetness, "a little Leo."
"Ugh," Jonah groaned at the joke, "you're so sick, you're delusional. Get out of here, Leo."
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When Leo woke up again, it was late. Really, slept-past-lunch type of late. He never woke up this late, years of waking up early for school and then even more early for football practice were ingrained in him.
He blamed it on the cold, that he definitely had. There was a dull ache in his head, no doubt toned down by the meds sitting on the bedside table that he did not remember taking. A box of tissues, already opened and half used. His throat burned when he swallowed.
"Fuck," he groaned, sitting up on the bed and then glancing to his side, in search of his boyfriend. Jon's side of the bed was made, sheets fitted and blankets smoothed up.
Leo pouted, getting out of the bed and swaying on his feet. He put on a pullover that was lumpy and ugly to stop the shivering and then walked into the bathroom to wash his face... He was halfway brushing his teeth when last night hit him, just as he his old clothes in the laundry basket under the sink.
The cat!
He spat in the sink and washed his mouth as quickly as he could, then ran out of the bathroom, "Jon? Where's the cat?" Leo called, getting out of the room and power walking to the kitchen, "Jonah?"
Nothing but silence answered him. Jonah wasn't home and clearly neither was the cat.
"Nononono," Leo chanted, refusing to believe Jon would simply get rid of the little kitten while he slept. He checked the laundry room, then under the couch and inside the guest room, a series of coughs wrecking through him and causing his eyes to burn. There was a tight knot in his throat.
Jonah wouldn't get rid of the cat, right?
Leo let out a shuddering breath and fell on his ass next to the guest room's bed, leaning on his knees. He blamed the sudden wetness in his eyes on the low grade fever and sniffled pitifully, this simply wasn't right.
The front door opened and he heard a rustle, then Jon's voice "Leo? You awake?"
Rubbing angrily at his eyes, Leo swallowed against the choked up knot in his throat and walked out of the room, "where were you?"
"Lots of places, Sleeping Beauty," Jonah grinned, dropping his car keys on the table next to the door and a bag filled with medicine, "stopped by the pharmacy, got you some decent meds... Leo?"
"Where's the cat?" he frowned, crossing his arms. He still expected Jon to smile and say Surprise!, "Jon, where did you take him?"
"Her," Jon rolled his eyes, "it wasn't a boy," he shook his head, "she's a little drowsy, lots of adventures."
He stepped out of the door and into the hallway again and Leo could've cried with how happy he was as his boyfriend returned with a beige carrier.
"Meet JD Wagner Banks," Jonah smiled, fishing the cat out of the carrier and handing her to him. True to what he said, she was all sleepy and boneless, "they gave her a drug cocktail, so she's a bit out of it."
"J... JD?" Leo said in the smallest voice, eyes burning again as he took the kitten and held her to his chest, "what does it stand for...?"
"Jasmine Dean," Jonah looked very proud of himself, "JD for short... Oh you hate it," he grimaced as Leo let out a whimper.
"No, I don't, I- You gave her your family's J...?" Leo was doing a piss poor job of hiding how moved he was, "I thought you had gotten rid of her."
Jon pouted, stepping closer, "I wouldn't. Not while you slept, Leo, c'mon," he groaned, leaning in to kiss him, "give me some credit."
"I know," Leo sniffled, "I'm just- It was stupid, I'm sorry. I love you... I love her name too."
"Yeah?" Jonah smiled into the kiss, "good, because we can't change it now."
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Text
—INTRODUCTION—
Schlatt sits down in his office chair, tuning out the excited chatter of his husband telling him the basic overview of what Tumblr is. He's gotten quite good at tuning him out, the only problem is pretending he knows what Quackity is talking about when he asks the ram hybrid about it later. He only perks up when he feels Quackity give him a kiss on the cheek and run out of the room happily. Finally.
Schlatt gives the deepest sigh he thinks he's ever done as he opens a new tab. This is stupid. Incredibly fucking stupid. But if it'll get Quackity to stop being anxious for at least a day, it's worth making a blog that he'll likely never use. Quackity is boring when he's scared for no reason.
He types in his username and basic info, thinking to add 'Wilbur' or 'Faggots' at the end of the title, but he decided otherwise. Wilbur seems like the kind of weirdo to have Tumblr in whatever hut he lives in, and Quackity always gets fussy when he says the f slur. God, he needs a drink.
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✦ ||This blog will be a roleplay blog for Schlatt from the DSMP, the exact timeframe as which this takes place is between the elections and Schlatt's death.
✦ ||The author will be roleplaying as Schlatt and will stay in character for the most part.
✦ ||The reader can also roleplay as another character if they would like, whether in the DSMP or another story is up to the reader.
✦ ||The author will not respond to anything outside of character unless: taking a break, making changes to roleplay or character(s), or noting something very important.
✦ ||This blog may discuss: abuse, unhealthy relationships, Stockholm Syndrome, codependency, smoking, self-harm, attempted suicide, self-loathing, cannibalism, alcoholism, and murder. The author will try to remember to tag all of these if they appear in the posts, but feel free to remind the author if he forgets. If the reader is uncomfortable with any of these topics, they can skip past or leave the blog, whatever makes them comfortable.
✦ ||If the reader has a question or comment about the post itself [ex. misspell, wrong pronouns, question about content] then ask the author.
✦ ||There is no defined upload schedule, though there will be posts at least once a week. Requests or questions are welcome and encouraged!
✦ ||Lastly, this should not be taken as canon. This is a blog a silly person made about a alcoholic block man. Have fun!
✦ ||This blog is associated with @best-vice-evr, who is a Quackity blog.
✦ ||This blog is also associated with @poured-my-past-down-the-drain and @your-body-my-temple-baby, Tommy and Revivebur blogs.
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✦ ||Names for character: Schlatt, Jschlatt, J, Mr. President, President, Emperor.
✦ ||Family for character: Tubbo [son], Quackity [husband].
✦ ||Pronouns for character: He/Him.
✦ ||Relationships for character: The reader can decide any relationship [platonic or romantic] in the roleplay, as long as it doesn't directly conflict what the author writes. The author will try to accommodate most relationships, but favors romantic Pumpkin Duo, platonic/romantic Sweater Duo, platonic Horns Duo, platonic NY Duo.
(Edited on April 24th, 2024)
(Last post on April 24th, 2024)
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1000night · 2 years
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Mafia AU
pairings: mafia boss! stucky x female chubby reader
warnings: ex couples, threesome, implied smut, hurt/comfort, unwanted attention,sexual harassment
a/o: it's my first time to write mafia au, so if something wrong please forgive me.👀👀
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There are so many times you want to ask God why he choose to let bad things happen to you.
But this time is weird and complicated
Standing in front of the two men, their stares were intense, hungrily, and possessive. Swallowed hard as you kept repeating yourself Never be fooled again, you cleared your throat and sat carefully.
"Thank you...for save me."
"I know you don't want to meet us again, doll."
The brunette one interrupted you and leaned against the back of couch.
"Still, I should be grateful for your kind...Mr. Barnes."
"What do you want to do with that fucking prick, bumblebee?"
You met another pair of dodger blue eyes, the blonde man crossed his arms around his chest and gave you a scary smile.
"Uh...just send him back, you've given him a lesson, Ste...Mr.Rogers."
His eyes lit up when he heard your unspoken words.
"Nah, the dickhead touched what belongs to us. He need to pay for it."
Bucky waved to one of the security guards and whispered something to him, the guard nodded and walked away.
You didn't dare to think Bucky was talking about you, besides, if your coworker really stole something from James Buchanan Barnes, then he must pay for his crime.
"So...you came here with him ALONE, bumblebee. Do you have any reason?"
Slowly blinked, Bucky's question sounds like you are still their treasure and you were cheating on them.
"Hum? My fair lady, why are you go to the bar with a strange man at night ALONE?"
Your hands was between your thighs and you looked dumb at Bucky.
"No, it was supposed to be a group night, but I didn't know why the rest members were not show up. Now I guess they probably set me up and try to be matched me with him."
Your fist clenched and narrowed your eyes.
"If I know that's what this party is, I'd rather stay in my house."
"But now you are here, scared and fussy like a wild kitten."
Steve smirked and drank his tequila, the dodger blue ire locked you and freeze your feet so that you couldn't move.
Bucky stood and moved toward you, his arms around your shoulder and hold you close to him.
His point finger tip tapped and stroked your bare shoulder.
You could smell the whiskey and Vodka through his body and his breath when he whispering into your ear:
"And I think it's time to take our stray kitten home, our mistakes should be corrected, shall we?"
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changbinslovelylegs · 2 months
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SEOKJIN'S KINKS
Main masterlist
BTS masterlist
Curious cat
Warnings for smut and talk of kinks
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Spanking: Honestly loves this. whether he's throwing you over his knee for a spanking session; using one of his many paddles; or just keeping it simple and spanking you while fucking he just loves it all. Love how it makes you moan louder, listening to you beg for more has him harder than ever. Would also be down to spank your pussy as well, basically needing to eat you out after he's spanked it raw!
Mirror sex: Mr worldwide handsome may have a thing or 2 for looking at himself in the mirror while fucking you. He also loves like doing anything to you (fingering, fucking he's not fussy) and making you watch yourself, if you look away then he stops because "I said to look in the mirror baby."
Overstimulation: If Jin's ever feeling evil, which is most of the time because Jin is just so mischievous; he will keep going even after you cum. He wants to see how long you can last, hopefully push you to another orgasm before he finally stops. The way you shake for him, barely able to breathe stably, you don't wanna know what it does to him.
Light bondage: Only really does this as a punishment or on the off occasion Jin's feeling frisky. He might tie your hands to the bed post or tie them to your ankles or just spread you out like a star-fish tying your hands and ankles to the corners of your bed that way you can't move even a tiny bit. Sometimes Jin just wants to have his way with you without your hands getting in the way.
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