#fun fact i actually did some research on how gold ground paintings were made to do this!!

[transgenderfivepebbles]

Pietà

[nataliedanovelist]

GF & MvsM - Wanna Talk About Dinos?

This crossover was inevitable. It just works too well. Maybe one day i’ll write a fic about how the folks at Gravity Falls handled the robot-apocalypse. Probably shrugged it off. “Eh. We’ve had worse.” Haha! What if Stan and Ford, cuz they were out sailing, had no clue what happened and when they came back they were like, “Wait, what?”

For now, please enjoy this fic of Aaron making a new friend...

(credit goes to @stephreynaart for her OC Jacob) ~~~~~~~~~~ “Hi, would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?”

Aaron asked this question more times than he could keep track of, but that wasn’t going to stop him from asking it. It started as a dare from his big sister two years ago, but now it’s a fun hobby. When fifth grade isn’t overwhelming him, scaring him with mountains of homework and horror stories about how hard middle school is going to be, and when he’s run out of YouTube videos to catch up on, he is on the hunt for fellow giant-lizard-lovers like a hungry Ceratosaurus.

“No, okay bye.” But it did get a little tiring to always cross out names and phone-numbers on the phone book with red ink. Hey, a dinosaur of a way to find phone-numbers was appropriate. He read the next number, dialed it, and after a ring or two he asked, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs? No, okay thank you.”

Aaron crossed out another name and sighed, taking a break since he reached the end of a line of numbers. Maybe he should just be grateful for Abbey and accept that no one else wants to talk about the Jurassic Period. Or the Cretaceous Period. Or the Triassic Period. But then a big, old, gray-tinted ad distracted him. He grinned, thinking it would at least be fun to give them a call, and he dialed the number.

Private home phone-numbers were fun, but businesses were also fun! Poor, bored workers would gladly talk to him rather than crabby Karens, and they got paid for it! So Aaron smiled as the phone rang, and he grinned when someone picked up.

“Thanks for calling the Mystery Shack, you’re talking to Mr. Mystery himself! How may I befuddle or bewilder you?”

“Hi! How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

“Oh, dude! I’d love to, but I’m scheduled for a tour of the Oddity Museum in three minutes.” The man said, and Aaron grinned continuously, because it sounded like Mr. Mystery really wanted to talk with him about dinosaurs. “But hey! Can you hold on for one minute, I think I know a guy!”

“Yeah, sure mister!” And Aaron was greeted by the sound of a catchy jingle about buying t-shirts and mugs and snowglobes. He smiled and wiggled his feet along to the music as he looked outside at the beautiful late-fall afternoon, entertained while he waited.

~~~~~~~~~~

Soos was on the hunt. He planned out the house in his head. Abuelita was taking a nap upstairs, Melody was organizing the upcoming tour, and Stan took Jacob out for ice cream, so he might be…

The owner of the Shack grinned when he stopped at the doorway and saw the man he was looking for, sitting in Stan’s chair, reading a book.

“Uncle Ford!”

The old sailor smiled up at the young man. “Yes, wh-...”

“Do you think you could answer the phone for me? I have a tour and I think this customer’s request is right up your alley.”

“Uh… sure, but w-...”

“Thanks, you’re the best!” And Soos was gone before he could address Ford’s confusion.

Ford was a bit lost, having little to no business with business, but he had learned at this point to trust Soos, so he picked up the phone beside him and was immediately greeted with a sweet, “How would you like to talk with me about dinosaurs?”

Ford grinned and closed his book. “I would love to! All three periods are equally as fascinating to study, but the Triassic contains some of my favorite dinosaurs!”

A young voice gasped on the other line. “Mine, too! Everyone thinks the Jurassic period is so great, and it’s pretty cool, but the Triassic gave us Plateosaurus and the Brachiosaurus!”

“That’s very true! You know, it’s very interesting, maybe depictions don’t include feathers at all, which is a bit frustrating, but perhaps after the news has spread they will incorporate more feathers on merchandise and textbooks.”

“YES! That’s what I wanna do when I grow up, help draw better-accurate dinosaurs!”

~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang on Sunday. The Shack was closed today, so Stan lazily answered it and was greeted with, “Wanna talk about dinosaurs?”

“Sixer, phone for you!”

Ford ran into the living room, elbowed his twin out of the chair, and took the phone. “Hello again, Aaron! Now, where were we? Right, so Australopithecus. … No, I don’t think… Oh! No, homo habilis was erect, Australopithecus was never fully erect.”

“Maybe he was nervous.” Stan groaned, getting to his feet.

Ford shot him a look as thankfully the young boy on the other end didn’t catch that and happily shared some more fun-facts about homo habilis.

~~~~~~~~~~

While most college students were excited for Spring Break so they could get drunk or lose their virginity, Katie was excited because her family had planned a special secret roadtrip. She was careful to keep up with her family and talk to her parents and brother frequently, but Aaron had a hobby he wasn’t talking about that his parents found out and were thrilled about. Aaron had made another friend.

Rick and Katie did some research and the tourist attraction sounded right up their alley! In the middle of the woods, tons of weird stuff, and a fun roadtrip filled with diners and attractions. They decided to surprise Aaron, and they made up a lie that they would spend Spring Break in California with Katie so she could show her family around San Francisco, when in actuality they would be traveling up the state to the Redwood Highway and see the oddity place, and maybe even allow Aaron to meet his new pen-pal. Or, um, phone-pal.

So after bombarding Katie with hugs the Mitchells threw her luggage into the car and drove off. Aaron turned to Katie and excitingly asked, “So where are we going first? Can we go fix the Golden Gate bridge by painting it gold?”

Katie laughed and ruffled his hair. “Maybe later, right now I wanna show you guys this fun store right outside of town. Here, check out the videos I made for my classes!” And she pulled out some airpods and gave one to Aaron.

“Cool!”

Rick and Linda smirked at each other as they drove north. By the time they reached a little diner in Redding, CA, it was very clear to Aaron that they weren’t in San Francisco anymore. “Come on, just tell me where we’re going!” The boy begged as he fed Monchi a fry.

“The best kind of prizes are the surprises.” Linda quoted.

“Eric, Deborahbot5000, where are we going?”

“Sorry, Aaron, we cannot give that information.” Eric said, he and the other robot sitting politely in their seats, happy to be a part of the social interaction.

“Yes, Mother will bury us if we disobey.” Deborahbot said matter-of-factly.

“What?! No I won’t, sweeties.”

“Won’t you ground us?”

The family laughed and Aaron let the topic go; if he was honest, he loved a good surprise. The big family stopped in a motel just at the California-Oregon border, and the next morning after muffins and coffee and orange juice they were on the road again, passing dozens of trees that made Rick feel at home. Katie happily recorded the trip, trusted to be the documenter for another fun roadtrip, with hopefully not as much mortal peril.

Aaron watched as they left the highway for a simple road, and they passed a big sign. The boy gasped and caught what was happening. “No WAY! Really?!”

“You know, I hear this Mystery Shack even has a Sasquatch.” Rick commented while Linda pulled out a pamphlet from the glove box.

“It says here it’s full of odd things you’ll never see anywhere else, even a dinosaur footprint…”

“Wasn’t there a rumor of there being a Bottomless Pit?” Katie asked, pointing her camera at Aaron to get his reaction.

“Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!” Aaron cheered, hugging his Dad’s neck and kissing his Mom’s cheek.

“Hey, no worries, buddy.” Rick eased, fixing his shewed glasses. “We wanted to see this place, too!”

“Why don’t we eat a quick lunch and then we’ll take the backroad for the attraction? There’s a coupon in here for a diner made from a giant log!”

And so after being served by a pretty blonde teenager at Greasy’s, they drove through town to get to the backroad. Signs made them confident that they were going the correct way, as well as Eric and Deborahbot5000’s GPS. Then as they turned a corner, a big triangle-shaped building came into view. Aaron grinned at the giant sign with a missing letter. People were already leaving, arms full of souvenirs and one or two already wearing their new hats or t-shirts. Once Rick parked in the Free Parking Lot, Aaron spilled out of the car and ran for the shack, but he stopped.

Katie caught up to him and patted his back. “You cool, man?”

Aaron shrugged, holding his hands in front of him and his shoulders up to hide his face a bit. “I-I dunno… What if… What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Hey, I get it.” Katie admitted. “When I first met my friends I was really nervous. I had talked to them online for weeks and I was worried it wasn’t gonna be what it was all cracked up to be, but it was. Your system worked! You found another dino-lover! You earned this moment. Just take in a deep breath and be yourself, cuz you’re a pretty cool dude.”

Aaron smiled up at his big sister. “Thanks.”

Trusting Eric and Deborahbot5000 to watch Monchi and make sure he used the bathroom, the Mitchells went inside the shack. On the porch there was an ice cooler, a sign reading schedule times for tours of the Oddity Museum, a Help Wanted sign, and two rocking chairs with a game of checkers between them.

Inside the store a few customers filled up the gift shop, alongside t-shirts, snowglobes, a vending machine, a door beside ti that read Employees Only, a bookshelf full of comic on one side and old newspapers claiming alien sightings on the other, a fish tank holding a monkey-mermaid, and barrels full of spaceship keychains and dino claws. A new section called Camping Stuff caught Rick’s eye, selling backpacks, lanterns, flashlights, batteries, canteens, and compasses. Katie opened a comic called Lil’Stanley and laughed at the swears, taking a pic and sending it to her friends’ group chat. Linda looked into the barrel full of patches and grinned at all the fun designs, while Aaron stared happily at the mer-monkey.

The Employees Only door opened and closed and Rick watched as a man in a suit, fez, and eyepatch walked up to the lady at the register and kissed her cheek. The woman smiled lovingly and left while the guy who resembled a gopher checked a customer out. Rick waited until the buyer left to approach the register, leaning an arm on the counter.

“Welcome to the Mystery Shack, dude!”

“Thanks! So, this is gonna sound weird, but my son Aaron talks to a guy here about dinosaurs…”

“No way!” The owner interrupted excitedly. “Good to see you, dudes! I’m Mr. Mystery! Wow, you guys came a long way, huh?”

“Nah, only from California. My daughter is attending art school there.”

While the men chit-chatted and Linda joined them, Katie noticed a guy walking up to Aaron and looking at the mer-monkey. She smiled and tried to read the comic without being too nosy, but she kept her senses on her brother.

“Hm, quite fascinating, isn’t it?” The man in the blue hoodie said. “But I think my favorite is the fossilized footprint. Could be Nanuqsaurus hoglundi.”

“The Polar Bear Lizard?” Aaron clarified, touching his chin as he looked at the dino-print, his back to the man he was talking to. “Maybe, but they’re from Alaska. It’s possible plate tectonics did cause some fossils to be relocated here, but it could also be a Nanotyrannosaurus lancensis footprint.”

“The Dwarf Tyrant? Could very well be. Would you like to talk about dinosaurs after your tour?”

Aaron’s eyes widened as the voice was finally familiar to him. He turned and looked up to find an old man smiling up at him. He had fluffy gray hair with a white stripe running around his scalp, wrinkles by his eyes due to smiling, a cleft chin, glasses, and wore a blue hoodie with a maroon sweater underneath. His hands were behind his back and he smiled down at Aaron warmly, while the boy was jittery and overly-excited. He took in a sharp breath and had to fight every muscle to keep from leaping through the screen door. 

“H-H-Hi…” He peeped. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Y-Yeah, sure! I’d love to! I’m Aaron! Er, wait, you already knew that.” And he held out a hand to shake.

His phone-pal, Ford, chuckled and got on one knee to be eye-level. “Greeting, Aaron! It’s nice to formally meet you.”

Aaron shook his hand and noticed something. He had six fingers on his right hand. A quick glance told Aaron he also had six fingers on his left hand. Aaron grinned with sparkling eyes at his new friend, while the old sailor smiled warmly at the boy that reminds him of his niece and nephew when they were young.

[ineffably-good]

Flufftober #30: Costumes

(Ok this isn’t really the prompt - the official prompt was pumpkins, but I already covered that pretty specifically in a prompt #4 -- so I made up my own.) 

__

“Crowley, look, we’ve been invited to a costume party!” Aziraphale said, his voice rising in excitement. “Oh I do love Halloween!”

Crowley frowns. “Well I don’t. Demons hate Halloween. Haven’t we talked about this already?”

“I know, I know,” Aziraphale says, considering his best moves in this situation. “And if you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. But – you like spooky! You really like spooky. And you like misbehavior, right? Few places are as rife with chances for misbehavior as a costume party! You just think it over a little bit…”

And with that he sat back and buried himself in his book, while secretly watching Crowley’s face.

Crowley did give it some thought. He remembered how much of a good time he used to have at masked balls in eighteenth century France, for one. Somehow people thought that just by putting a lacy mask across a tiny portion of their face, they were completely unrecognizable and all the normal social mores no longer applied to them. It was like ground zero for the temptation trade; people were up for almost anything when they found themselves in costume.

Plus there was the fact that Aziraphale clearly wanted to go. He did try, generally, to let the angel have what he wanted, at least when what he wanted wasn’t likely to burn anything to the ground.

“Whose party is it?” he asked.

“Oh, one of the charities I donate to. Rented a hall up in Primrose Hill and is having a big swanky party on Halloween night.”

Crowley drummed his fingers on the edge of the couch. “Okay,” he said finally, “I could probably go. But I’m not wearing anything stupid, so don’t get any big ideas about us being dogs or flowers or anything like that.”

Aziraphale beamed at him and was clearly not trying to bounce. “Oh no, of course not, my dear! I’ll find us something just perfect, don’t you worry.”

Crowley felt a small seed of worry begin to take hold. “You have to run it by me before you purchase anything, angel. Seriously. Don’t do your usual on this one, okay?”

Aziraphale laughed. “All right, all right. I’ll gather some options for you tonight, just have to do some research first.”

++

They went out for sushi that night, and Aziraphale waited until Crowley had a couple of cups of sake and a few nigiri in him before he broached the subject again.

“So,” he said warmly, “I have a few thoughts on possible couple costumes for us.”

“Couple costumes?” Crowley said. “Why do we have to do that?”

Aziraphale looked a little hurt. “You don’t want to do a couples costume? I mean… we are a couple after all…”

Crowley rolled his eyes, but only a little. This was neither the battle nor the hill he wanted to go down on, no question. He raised a hand in defeat. “Okay, angel, I’m sorry – of course we can do a couples costume. It’ll be –” he squinted and made a face like he’d tasted a bitter lemon “—fun.”  

Aziraphale took a swig of his sake and looked at Crowley consideringly. Should he start with the easy ones to reject, or with the best ones? He wasn’t sure.

“Well?” Crowley said. “Lay ‘em on me. Don’t leave me hanging.”

“All right,” Aziraphale said, pulling out a small notebook that looked suspiciously similar to the sleep experiment notebook. “First up would be your classic superhero/sidekick combination. Something like, perhaps, Batman and Robin. I, of course, would be Batman, and you would be… well –”

“Could be fun, but I’m not going as Robin, angel. And why would you be Batman? I’m more his type.”

“I could be dark and brooding!” Aziraphale insisted.

“You’re not the type. You’d be better off wearing those ridiculous green booties and the tights,” Crowley said. “You’d look great!”

Aziraphale gave him a long, slow stare, then deliberately took out a small pen and crossed that one off the list.

“Next there are a variety of historical options. Henry VIII and Anne Bolyn?”

Crowley grinned. “Henry II and Thomas Becket would be a lot more fun. We could spend the whole evening trying to smite each other.”

Aziraphale sighed and crossed that one off. “You could be a white rose and I could be a red rose and we could be the war of the roses?” he said hopefully.

“Angel,” Crowley said, distinctly and clearly. “I thought I said no flowers. Did I not say no flowers?”

“Yes, of course.” Aziraphale made another note. “How about Romeo and Juliet?”

“You’re Juliet,” the demon countered quickly. “And only if we can play out the death scene.”

“You’re ridiculous,” the angel said. “Okay, how about Punch and Judy?”

“Would one of us get to hit the other with a large board?”

“Why,” the angel asked in despair, “are you so violent tonight?”

Crowley shrugged and stuffed another nigiri in his mouth. Aziraphale retaliated by gather most of the remaining salmon pieces onto his plate.

They went through many more entries on the list, Crowley mocking or adjusting each of them as needed, until they were left with very few options.

“Well perhaps we should go to a costume shop and look around,” Aziraphale said finally, in defeat.

“I’m game for that,” Crowley said. “We’ll go tomorrow.”

++

 The next day they went to an obscure historical costume shop in the theater district to look at possible outfits. Aziraphale tried to be on his nicest behavior, charming the proprietor, because he suspected Crowley was going to be quite a handful. As usual, he was correct in this assessment.

“What are you gentleman looking for?” the man asked them.

“Something amusing, I suppose,” Aziraphale said, “possibly historical or liter –”

“Nothing stupid,” Crowley cut in, “and no flowers. Something cool.”

The proprietor blinked, taking this in, and set off to see what he could find. He brought out a rack full of options a few minutes later and took them off in pairs to show them. Kings and princes, Hamlet and Ophelia, jokers and jesters, Romans, Egyptians, Medusa and Perseus (“I like the snakes on that one!” Crowley said), Vikings and gladiators – somehow nothing really caught their fancy.

“Well what might you be interested in?” the proprietor asked, nearing the end of his patience.

“Got any serial killers?” Crowley asked. “Or how about rock stars. Got any Sex Pistols? Sid and Nancy?”

Aziraphale sighed quietly.

 ++

“I think we made a good choice!” Crowley said brightly on the way home. “That was a brilliant last minute save that man made, there. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself!”

“It’s certainly unusual,” Aziraphale said. “I’m not sure how I feel about wearing that, to be honest.”

“Oh, come on, angel, it’s not that bad,” Crowley cajoled. “Wear it for me?”

Aziraphale huffed. “Whose idea was this whole party thing? I’m not at all sure we should even be going.”

Crowley reached over and took his hand without comment.

 ++

One week later, the night of the party arrived.

Crowley grinned at Aziraphale after dinner. “Are you ready for this?” he asked.

“Oh, dear, I don’t know –” Aziraphale said. “You’re going to have to help me with the spray paint, yes?”

“Angel, you don’t have to spray-paint yourself,” Crowley pointed out. “You’re an ethereal being with powers. Just do it!”

“That’s true,” Aziraphale said doubtfully. “I still think I’m going to look ridiculous.”

“You’re going to look hot, angel.” Crowley said, closing that conversation. “Now come on, let’s get changed.”

Crowley had a very easy time of it, slipping into his outfit easily and excitedly. He actually couldn’t believe he’d given the angel such a hard time about this – he was truly rather excited about this one. Aziraphale, however, was locked away in his closet making fussy noises as he tried to work out his half.

“You ok in there, angel?” Crowley called.

“Just fine! Out in a moment,” the angel called back.

Crowley wandered downstairs and carefully made himself a martini while he waited. Finally, after having time to slowly sip half of it, he heard Aziraphale making his way downstairs. He turned around and gasped at the vision before him.

Aziraphale was clad head to toe in a tight gold dress that clung to his form, and his skin was covered everywhere with a thick layer of gold to which he’d added just a bit of angelic glow so that he looked radiant on all surfaces. His hair had been smoothed out of its usual curl a bit and swooped down over his forehead, and if Crowley wasn’t mistaken he’d modified his corporation a bit to be a little more female-shaped – it nipped in a bit more at the waist and flared out becomingly below.

Goldfinger, Crowley thought. I knew there was a reason that movie was one of my favorites.

“Why do you get to be Bond and I have to be the Bond girl again?” the angel asked plaintively.

“Because! I’ve got the bullet marks in my car. Plus, I never get to wear a tuxedo,” Crowley said. “Besides, you kind of like it, admit it.”

“Of course I like it, you look amazing,” Aziraphale said, sincerely.

“I meant, you kind of like what you’re wearing.” Crowley grinned. “Don’t you? Just a little tiny bit?”

Aziraphale flapped a hand and tried to stifle a returning grin. “Oh stop. I suppose I do look better in gold than you do,” he said, preening a little. “And the skin tone is sort of fun. Haven’t dressed as a lady in quite some time!”

Crowley sauntered over and kissed him. “You look delectable, Ms. Galore. You’re going to be the hit of the party.”

The demon offered his arm most dashingly and Aziraphale took it, casting one last look in the mirror as they headed out. The things you do for love, he thought, casting a glance at his devastatingly handsome date in his well-cut tuxedo. He took a moment to make the heels he was wearing just the tiniest bit taller and magically more comfortable, and then straightened up.

He tossed his hair back and tried to assemble the best Bond-girl attitude he could manage. He hadn’t even shown Crowley yet the pretend pistol he’d strapped to his thigh. He’d save that for later, when they were dancing. He was certain that detail would bring the evening to a rather pleasant resolution.

[detectivejigsawpines]

Hideous Creatures-part 8 (Showdown)

Surprisingly, Stan was late in showing up at the glen the next morning.  And his cart was missing.

At once Ford was suspicious-he knew his twin far too well to think he was throwing in the towel and surrendering the bet, so he was definitely up to something.

He was about to go looking for his brother, when a new crowd of tourists began filtering through the trees-even bigger than the ones that had come in the last two days.

Maybe this was his plan-to try to overwhelm me by making me deal with all of them at once.  Nice try, Stanley.

Ford cleared his throat, and drew himself up to his full height like he had when giving presentations in school.

“Greetings, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Tours of Mystery!  I’ll be your host today-”

Before he could continue, his eardrums were nearly imploded by the blare of a horn.

Ford whirled around in time to see Stan come roaring into place in his cart.

Which was now covered in bright red, glittery paint, and had a sign reading “MYSTERY TOURS (™)” on the roof that was decorated with bright, flashing neon lights until it looked like a traveling carnival wagon.

Stan himself was wearing the same suit and fez as usual, but his tie was the same shade of red as the carts, and it looked like some glitter might have gotten splashed on the suit as well.  And as he screeched to a halt and leaped out, grinning widely and lifting his arms (which somehow earned him a chorus of cheers from the crowd), Ford noticed that his eyes, though wide and smiling like normal, were also somewhat bloodshot and manic-looking, like he hadn’t gotten anywhere near enough sleep and was trying to make up for it with an overdose of caffeine.

...Not that Ford knew about that from personal experience or anything.

“Howdy, folks!” Stan boomed.  “Sorry I’m late, I was getting a few extra things set up for the tour of your lives!  I’m your other host, Mr. Mystery, here ta show you befuddlements and wonders the likes of which your kinds have never seen before!”

Ford saw one of his hands twitch, and a few seconds later actual fireworks came bursting from the back of the cart, exploding in the air above them.

The crowd loved it.  Ford didn’t.

In fact, he decided he’d finally had it.

“Really, Stanley?!” he demanded over the cheering.  “You’re trying to upstage me?”

“Seems like I’m not just trying,” Stan retorted, folding his arms and grinning.  “Face it, Poindexter-I’m better at gaining a crowd’s interest than you are.”

Ford scoffed.  “Wow. I’m surprised that you didn’t do something like steal my keys or slash my tires, if you’re sinking low enough to try to sab-”

As soon as the last part left his lips, he realized that that was going too far.  His words screeched to a halt.

“No, I-I didn’t mean that-”

****

There was no finesse or grace to this next part.  In fact, it mostly consisted of them scuffling and shoving each other in the dirt, similar to when they were little and had gotten into one of their rare arguments that was bad enough to devolve into fighting.

Many of the tourists stared at them in confusion...but several loved it.

“Whoa, humans fighting!” exclaimed a new figure in a black hoodie who also may or may not have been a vampire, pushing through the crowd to watch in delight.

“I gotta preserve this for the kids!”  An unusually hairy guy pulled out a video camera and pointed it at the fighting brothers.

“My money’s on the bigger one!”

“Nah, the one with the extra fingers!  That probably gives him an advantage!”

Oblivious to all this, the brothers wrestled back and forth, one of them enraged beyond words, the other trying ineffectively to placate him.

“Stanley-stop-I wasn’t-”

“The heck you weren’t!”  Stan wrestled Ford to the ground, pinning him by the shoulders.  “You think I’d do that ta you again?  Just because I’m not gonna let you take this away from me doesn’t mean I’m gonna stoop that low!”

Something about the way he said that made Ford tilt his head and frown at him.

“...Take this away?”

Stanley’s rage dissipated a little bit, and his eyes darted to the side.

“N-Nothin’.  You wouldn’t understand.”

“Well, not if you don’t tell me.”  Ford managed to extricate himself without any struggle on his brother’s part, and sit up, expression open and inviting.

Stan bit his lip, before finally saying, “...I’m just tryna pull my own weight, okay?  I’m tryna make sure I’m not leeching off you, and this job is the first thing I’ve found that I was really good at.  Something that made real money, where my skills as a liar and cheater were good for somethin’.  These people like what I’m selling, and they keep coming back for more, and it’s not even really illegal stuff for the most part, and it’s-it’s fun.  And you just-all you see is a waste of time ta be gotten rid of.”  He sat back, hugging himself uncomfortably.

After a second of processing all this, Ford murmured, “I thought you viewed this whole tours thing as just another con.  I didn’t know you felt that way about it.”

Stan snorted.  “Yeah, obviously.”  Then, with less venom, “But it’s not like I told you.”

“That’s not the point; I should have been able to see it from how much you were enjoying it.”  Ford scooted around until Stan was more or less looking at him. “And you’re not leeching off me at all, Stanley-how can you say that?  You’ve provided me with more samples of unicorn hair and gnome hair and stuff than I know what to do with! I would never have even gotten unicorn hair if you hadn’t set up your business with them-not to mention you’ve been bringing home actual gold!  You haven’t been just pulling your weight-you’ve been surpassing me in doing so.”

Stan shrugged a little, but he did look somewhat pacified at the reminder of the gold.

“Sorry about...gettin’ all annoyed when you tried ta correct me about stuff.  I know you like it when people have the facts. I just don’t feel like a lot of these jokers are ready for them, ya know?”

“...Yes, you might be right,” Ford admitted.

“Eh, it happens once in a blue moon.”

They smiled a little at each other.

“...So, are we gonna have tours now or what?” yelled a creature that appeared to be a mix between a bear and an owl standing at the edge of the crowd.  Several cryptids grumbled in disappointment about the fighting having stopped; another, which looked like a giant bird with the face of an old woman, wiped her eyes on her wing and sniffled, “Reconciliations are so beautiful!”

“Yeah, yeah, keep your fur on!” Stan called back to the owlbear, before getting to his feet and offering Ford a hand up.

Both of them were scraped and bruised, and their clothes and hair were covered in grass and dirt.  But Stan went and retrieved his fez, and Ford cleaned off his glasses (thanking heaven that they hadn’t been broken in the fight), and they began organizing who went into which cart.

****

After the tours were done for the day, they brought their profits back home, and found Dan sitting on their front porch.

He looked at their disheveled appearances with a raised eyebrow, before finally asking, “...What happened?”

“Accident,” Ford said, at the same moment that Stan said, “Beavers.  Giant meat-eating beavers.”

Dan gave an amused grin as he stood up.

“Knowing what this town’s like, I could almost believe that.”  He chuckled as they stalked past him inside.  “Told ya to fix your issues the manly way.”

The barrels, when they poured the profits into them, were both overflowing.

“...Does that mean we both win, or we both lose?” Stan asked.

“Yes,” Ford said, catching a few gold coins before they could fall to the floor.  “So I guess that means we need to come up with a compromise.”

He went on, “I guess the tours can stay.”

“Yes!”  Stan punched the air in delight.

“We may need to work out a few extra details later, but yes.  They can stay. In the meantime, I believe there were other aspects to the wager…”

The jubilation faded from his brother at once.  “Yeah, about that-”

He rushed for the stairs.

“STANLEY!!”

****

Later

The omelette felt like it was doing weird things to Ford’s tongue; when he finished he’d have to check in the mirror to see if it had been turned to plaid.  With a grimace he added more salt and pepper to see if that would make the flavor any better.

Stan came into the kitchen and headed for the fridge, pulling out a can of Pitt.

“How’d it go?” Ford asked after swallowing his mouthful.

Stan shrugged.  “Fine.”

“...Just fine?  What did he say?”

“Not much.”

“What did you say?”

“...Not much.”

Ford glared at his back.  “You hung up after asking to speak to him, didn’t you?”

“Not exactly…”  Stan said innocently.

Ford groaned.  “What did you say to him?”

Stan popped the tab on the soda.  “Pretended to be a telemarketer, and he hung up.”

“Stan-!”

“Hey, you never said anything about me needing ta tell him who I was.”  He smirked, and left the kitchen.

Ford rolled his eyes, and finally dumped the rest of the omelette in the trash, figuring if Stan was only going to half keep his side of the deal then he was too.

It wasn’t even that he wanted Stan to try to reconcile with Pa, or be accepted by him again, he mused to himself.  Having learned more about what his brother had gone through since being kicked out, he certainly didn’t feel like having a friendly conversation with their father anytime soon; and besides, Pa seemed to have no regrets whatsoever about getting rid of his own son.  But…

But it felt like Stan should try to find some kind of closure with him.  Even if it was just to tell him to go to hell.

Ford sighed, and washed his dishes in the sink.  And then turned his mind to more light-hearted matters, such as figuring out what new attractions to show the supernatural visitors to Gravity Falls.

********

Since Ford needs some days off to do his research, Stan ends up being the one in charge of most of the tours, with Dan sometimes pitching in too. He also sets up a gift shop in the forest that sells things like abandoned car keys, light switches, and other human stuff that in this context is absolutely useless but that the supernatural creatures go ga-ga over.

Ford, when he has time to spare, gives classes to monsters who are interested in learning more about human stuff-and he even has to teach some monsters basic skills such as reading and writing, and how to read human signs, which decreases the amount of supernatural roadkill in the area by 50%. He makes more of the brochures, and Stan starts handing them out during his tours too. They're able to make quite a decent profit off their business, and if people in town ask Stan where he and his brother get their money from (after he takes some of the gold to the city and sells it) he says that they had a rich uncle who left them a large inheritance as long as they continue living in Gravity Falls.

It's funny how effective lies are as long as there's a grain of truth to them. Because after all, they're unlikely to get paid for things in gold and jewels anywhere else.

[slingspeacea]

☆ // SUBJECT: THE EARP HOMESTEAD. LOCATION: PURGATORY, COLORADO

a collection of research exploring the idea, that if not for wynonna earp’s low budget and physical filming location, purgatory and its key landmarks should have been based in the united states,            around the colorado river specifically.  !important: earp roleplayers are more than welcome to also adopt this divergence if they agree with it, and may 100% feel free to REBLOG this post. please remember when interacting with my character, in all verses, that they are from purgatory, colorado, and not from canada. if after reading this, you feel bothered, please let me know and we can absolutely follow writers’ show canon in our threads!!

☆  // WARNING!!

this divergence is strongly opinionated. the writers of the show have confirmed the plot setting for the television series wynonna earp, is in fact located in alberta, canada. i am 100% aware that alberta is absolute show canon. however, as a roleplayer, creative writer, and western fanatic, i can neither ignore, nor let wyatt earp and doc holliday’s history get completely washed away for the sake of filming convenience. make no mistake. i love the show, the storyline, and i love the characters immensely;  but because of both the comic book series, and nonfictional history, their story’s location does not make any sense to me or add up at all. 

☆  // PART I. WYATT’S JOURNEY.

first, let’s begin with wyatt earp’s original routes and a few historical events. i’ve taken the time, and mapped wyatt and doc holliday’s trail out below in order. they were obviously riding on horseback and taking ferries or trains, so they wouldn’t have been using main roads or highways ( although busy trails later became paved highways and roads throughout america ). at only one point does wyatt travel through canada and it is during his two, long journeys to alaska. as you can see below, he really goes nowhere near alberta or calgary on his way to his next stop, seattle, washington. 

it would make way more sense for purgatory to be located somewhere in the united states, in one of the towns wyatt earp lived or stayed in for a prolonged period of time. not to mention the old west  is well... united states history, and all notable events regarding the old west happened in the states. the original 1993 wynonna earp comics even pay homage to places like tombstone ( and can i mention when the t.v series says they’re loosely based on the comics, they are hardly anything like them? like barely even remotely? ). it mentions white trash and trailer parks, hill billys, pabst blue ribbon, you name every southern stereotype, and they cover it. no surprise, it is based in america.

“ two u.s. marshals and a sheriff lie dead in san diablo, new mexico. when marshal wynonna earp hits the trail to bring the killers to justice, she uncovers connections to a devastating new drug...and a pack of redneck vampires! modern firepower and frontier justice --that's wynonna. “          wynonna earp, comic issue #1, summary.

but that’s totally besides the point, and another post probably worth making entirely. let’s get back to the real wyatt earp and docs holliday’s actual history. below are some maps, and i’ve linked bigger versions so they’re easier for y’all to see.

larger map images for reference:     a,   b,   c.

exhibit one: map a.  ↳ this displays his route from dodge city in 1875, up until his last ride to los angeles where he would also die in 1923. this map is all prior to docs death specifically, which is extremely important. why? because doc had obvious connections to both constance clootie and bulshar. this has become even even more so evident in season 3. wyatt earp did not travel through canada until after docs actual death. this alone raises a red flag as someone who thinks placing purgatory in canada was an easy cop-out by show writers, and as someone who often ponders plot holes in the show’s storyline. 

another point i have to to stress, is that a majority of wyatt earp’s time with doc holliday throughout life was spent in the southwestern united states. their stomping grounds are where a majority of the route lines cross on the map, and they traveled between each of those cities, owning saloons, gambling, hunting outlaws, etc.. countless times. i’ll have more to add about this later under section iii, which heavily regards the revenants.

exhibit two: map b. ↳ map b is probably the most important of all three. it depicts what his ride would have looked like from wrangell, ak to nome, and then from wrangell, ak to seattle, wa. google maps actually wouldn’t let me map the whole thing through from idaho and washington to alaska, because fun fact, you have to fly and take ferries to get around from the usa to those alaskan towns. phew, can you imagine wyatt’s adventure to alaska on horseback and water?? his wife actually tried to stop him from making the journey because she was pregnant at the time, but of course, he saw an opportunity for wealth and didn’t listen.

alberta is a far stretch out of the way. he would have had to go over or around the canadian rockies, and since he was traveling to and from alaska from either washington state and/or idaho with a clear destination in mind, it would make no logical sense whatsoever. the red triangle, accurately labeled show’s location wtf??  is where the show’s canon ghost river triangle is located. i know what you’re probably thinking, they never say it straight up in the series,             but writer’s confirmation aside, upon researching there is one particular episode which gave us show purgatory’s exact location right away. here is a picture of waverly in s01e03, with a map of purgatory. . . and here is another .... and now here is an actual, real map which indisputably matches waverly’s layout. note: those are not my screencaps, you can find the original post i got them from here !!

exhibit three: map c. ↳ vildal, california is where he built his home in 1911.  the earps bought a small cottage in vidal, the only home they ever owned. beginning in 1911 and until Wyatt's health began to fail in 1928, Wyatt and sadie earp summered in Los Angeles and spent the rest of the year in the desert working their claims. The "happy days" mine was located in the whipple mountains a few miles north of vidal.  wyatt had some modest success with the happy days gold mine, and they lived on the slim proceeds of income from that and oil wells.  ( source:  wikipedia. )

so, my question is likely the biggest plot hole in the whole freaking television series. how the heck did wyatt’s family homestead end up all the way near calgary, alberta, canada?? the show writers ignore this entirely and uses an insane amount of liberties. wyatt never had any children to begin with, but if one wants to paint the picture of family, love, loyalty, and closeness as they do on the show, i would think that the earps would have remained somewhere closer to wyatt’s grave. at the very least in the same country.

the other major thing to take into consideration, is that by the time map b and map c were traveled, real doc holliday was also dead and no longer amongst the living. i bet your thinking,  ❝   okay so maybe vidal, california would have been an alright place for the show to take place, since that was wyatt’s actual only home.  ❞  and i totally agree, but the more i thought about making this wynonna’s hometown and ground zero for the homestead, the harder i could picture the gang there. problem is, the landscape is nothing but desert. it’s hot and arrid. in vidal there are there are no prairie winds, or great plains, or chinook rocky mountain sunsets. on the show we see mountains, rivers, forests, and more importantly, large amounts of snow. 

this leads the divergence trail back to none other than the myth, the man, and the legend, doc holliday. let’s dive a little more into his relationship with wyatt in the next section.

☆  // PART II. DOC AND WYATT.

how wyatt and doc met in history & the show. ↳ earp had run two cowboys out of wichita earlier in 1878. during the summer, the two cowboys—accompanied by another two dozen men—rode into dodge and shot up the town while galloping down front street. they entered the long branch saloon, vandalized the room, and harassed the customers. hearing the commotion, earp burst through the front door, and before he could react, a large number of cowboys were pointing their guns at him. 

in another version, there were only three to five cowboys. in both stories, holliday was playing cards in the back of the room and upon seeing the commotion, drew his weapon and put his pistol at morrison's head, forcing him and his men to disarm, rescuing earp from a bad situation. no account of any such confrontation was reported by any of the dodge city newspapers at the time. whatever actually happened, earp credited holliday with saving his life that day, and the two men became friends.

how wyatt and doc actually parted ways in history. ↳  according to a letter written by former new mexico territory governor miguel otero, wyatt and holliday were eating at fat charlie's the retreat restaurant in albuquerque, "when holliday said something about earp becoming 'a damn jew-boy.' earp became angry and left…." holliday and dan tipton arrived in pueblo, colorado in late april 1882. ( source: wikipedia. )

doc’s death in real history. ↳ in 1887, prematurely gray and badly ailing, holliday made his way to the hotel glenwood, near the hot springs of glenwood springs, colorado. he hoped to take advantage of the reputed curative power of the waters, but the sulfurous fumes from the spring may have done his lungs more harm than good. as he lay dying, holliday is reported to have asked the nurse attending him for a shot of whiskey. when she told him no, he looked at his bootless feet, amused. the nurses said that his last words were, "this is funny.”  holliday died at 10am on november 8, 1887. he was 36.

wyatt visited sick doc before he died. ↳   wyatt heard of doc’s death shortly after he had died. he was close by in aspen, colorado at the time, and it’s thought that he may have visited doc before his death. josephine  earp told a story about sitting beside doc’s deathbed, but it’s thought that she may have confused this with another occasion ( because of old age ). she additionally gave an account of doc and wyatt’s last meeting in the lobby of a denver hotel. both men were quite upset and josie said that wyatt cried afterwards. there’s also a story that doc’s gun was also sent to wyatt although again not a lot of evidence to prove whether or not it’s true.

wynonna earp flashbacks. ↳   in s01e03, wyatt visited his bedside, where doc is very ill and lying down in a tent. it’s implied doc was resting, wyatt packed up his things for him, and dispite his sickness, earp keeps urging him to ride with him to purgatory. doc rejects knowing he can’t and says goodbye. this is likely right before he seeks out constance clootie for immortality, in whatever town they were in. there is no viable way his transformation could have happened in purgatory, because the church in wynonna’s vision quest later on was somewhere on the outskirts of town.

on the series, doc holliday had already come across constance clootie, and gained his immortality before the best friends had their argument and wyatt disowned him for becoming something of the devil’s work. wyatt also finally admits to his family being cursed. doc was also as equally heartbroken about wyatt’s opinion of his choice, and throughout the series, we see how deeply he considers and takes an earp’s opinion to heart. despite being set in modern years, and appended romantic aspects aside, his relationship with wynonna mirrors that of his and wyatts.  

consider that wyatt already killed constance clootie’s sons, and bulshar clootie is the man he was fixed on punishing for cursing him. it’s entirely plausible doc followed closely behind wyatt’s tail after being shunned, and that wherever wyatt was going was only a few days ride from doc’s staying place. the witch clootie admitted she turned doc ageless to hurt wyatt and succeeded, but we also know that where blushar goes, clootie is looking for vengeance. it’s conceivable to theorize certain suspicions such as, but not limited to; doc wanting take back his immortality due to wyatt’s rejection, and in turn while meeting clootie, got tossed with the final  seal into the well.

the “earp well” lol. ↳  we know doc winds up in a well , but it’s location seems to appear elsewhere from it’s original place on the earp property in season one’s pilot episode, to somewhere in a random forest, in s02ep08. the earp property is said by wynonna to be only 10 acres ( 0.125 sq miles ).  for a farm where you have to drive to get from point a to point b, this is not very large or inaccurate. all shots of the property are also mainly rolling farmland with no large forest vegetation resembling that of the well’s site. i’m going to chalk this discrepancy up to this scene having been in the pilot, having a low budget and limited choices for pilot filming location.

doc’s well was never on the actual earp property like some probably assume at first glance, but instead, somewhere else entirely. just go on ahead and re-watch. after retrieving peacemaker and talking to dolls, wynonna drives up to the purgatory town line, truck facing towards the town. it makes for a clear ( or not so clear ) clue hinting the well’s whereabouts. in s2ep08,  juan carlo takes wynonna outside of purgatory to the outskirts for her vision quest. the well is clearly located in that area and tied heavily to the flashback in the church. from a teen wynonna was a drifter. she could have stashed the gun in an abandoned well anywhere, somewhere safe, and no where too close to the homestead.  but here is another thought, doc and wynonna’s fates were entwined, so who knows? maybe she felt specifically drawn to that area and frequented there to clear her head when she was younger. merely a concept.

finally, bobos imprisonment in the well further proves it’s located elsewhere, since revenants can't step foot on earp land without being burned. this gives us some room to play for setting up wynonna earp’s story in colorado.

tying history and flashbacks together. ↳  this is where it gets complicated, where it’s hard to put things into words, and where my divergence really starts, because the show canon entirely ignores actual history when it comes to the true separation and deaths of both of these men.  we have no clue as to the location in either of these flashbacks on the show, but we do see wyatt is wearing a jacket and scarf. it’s apparently cold outside so there’s at least that to work with. the state of colorado has cold winters, which also works in this divergence’s favor.

if the real doc holliday died in glenn springs, colorado, and the real wyatt earp was in aspen, colorado around the time of his death, we could place purgatory somewhere in that area. doc faked his death on the series, between the time he decided he would became immortal, and the time he was thrown in the well shortly after. sewing these realities together puts purgatory in colorado. doc’s death would make the location default. in regards to the comic taking place in the deserts of the united states, this divergence will also have that covered later on.

the canadian show takes an extreme with creative freedoms and gives no resolution  whatsoever as to how wyatt earp somehow settled down in alberta, candada ( did they even do their fact checking?? ) or how every family member has lived there ever since. the actual wyatt earp had no children, and his home was and will always historically be in vidal, california. 

so, let’s make this more believable. what if in another universe that isn’t real history, but makes a hell of a lot more sense when unified with the show’s,            wyatt earp made a home in colorado after bulshar was buried?  not only close to where is thought to be his best friends grave, but where he can keep an eye on, and protect, bulshar’s remains until he dies? bobo moved him, but where were they prior? on the show wyatt is also said to have been partially involved in entombing bulshar’s body. therefore, this explanation would make 100% total sense as to why wyatt and his wife never made it to vidal, california. his life’s journey would have been stopped dead in its tracks, so he could keep the demon who cursed his family from the widows, and make sure bulshar never returned. one could claim, in a historically based, fictional western series, that wyatt earp built a ranch because of this, and settled down with his wife in a town called purgatory, colorado.

☆  // PART III. WYATT’S CURSE, THE REVS, & THE GHOST RIVER TRIANGLE.

wyatt earp’s curse. ↳  the earp curse makes all people that wyatt earp had killed in his lifetime resurrect over and over again. those revenants can only be killed by the peacemaker which only the current heir can use.           wait a minute. wynonna voice: say whaaaat?? wyatt never killed multiple people in canada. at any point in history. how would the 77 people he killed even get to canada if revenants can’t leave the ghost river triangle in the first place??         can you say, major woops? this is personally my favorite fudge up.

the ghost river triangle. ↳  the ghost river triangle is an area of cursed land, partially framed by the splitting of the ghost river into two, that imprisons the resurrected outlaws killed by wyatt earp. should a revenant cross the boundary line, they experience hell on earth. to quote waverly, in leavin' on your mind: '...everything from the mountains to where the north and south ghost rivers meet, forms the ghost river triangle. it cuts through the big city, contains thousands of square miles of forest, foothills, prairie, the badlands. and all of it...cursed.'

forest, foothills, prairie, and badlands? yeah, if we want to place divergent purgatory somewhere in the united states to make the show a little more historically accurate, the ghost river triangle definitely parallels to none other than the colorado river. the colorado river runs through colorado, utah, arizona, nevada, california, and all the way down to mexico. at least three of those states were in fact, wyatt’s stomping grounds before and after his historically recorded vendetta ride. 

not to go with some total, mythical, movie cliche here, but in an alternative wynonna world set in the united states, the ghost river triangle could have also been named by the native americans who inhabited the land along the colorado river. factually, many parts of the colorado river are actually suspected to be haunted. let’s not get too carried away, though. alberta canada is in fact home of a real place called the ghost river valley, and there’s totally no disputing that.

wyatt’s vendetta ride ↳  in history the vendetta ride was a deadly search, where wyatt lead a federal posse for outlaw cowboys they believed had ambushed, and maimed virgil earp and killed morgan earp. the earp brothers had been attacked in retaliation for the deaths of three cowboys in the gunfight at the o.k. corral on october 26, 1881. from march 20 to april 15, 1882, the federal posse searched southeast cochise county, arizona territory for suspects in both virgil's and morgan's attacks. several suspects had been freed by the court, owing in some cases to legal technicalities and in others to the strength of alibis provided by cowboy confederates. up to this point, wyatt had relied on the legal system to bring the cowboys to justice. now he felt he had to take matters into his own hands.

i could be wrong, but i have a feeling the chase for bulshar is loosely based on this part of wyatt earp’s history. the parallel of his two own brothers dying, and two of clootie’s sons dying, is a little thought provoking, no? coincidental even? an eye for an eye, perhaps? there is a lot of wyatt’s history left to be uncovered and explored, and that’s if the show writers even decide to reveal anything else at all. on the show, wyatt got innocent people killed, there was one hell of a lot of collateral damage surrounding him. 

i feel 100% comfortable standing firmly by the headcanon that after wyatt was cursed and his brothers were killed, that he went on a tear after bulshar and destroyed anyone who got in his way. this is important, because these events could be tied to his life in tombstone, arizona, and the events which took place in and after the shootout at the OK corral. if he was cursed in tombstone, then there is no way around it,          one of the ghost river triangle’s points would have to begin there.

the revmap, i mean . . . revamp. ↳ below is a map which bases a divergent ghost river triangle heavily off of history. it takes into consideration doc holliday and wyatt earp’s routes, where doc’s last known whereabouts were, where wyatt would have killed the most men, and finally, his vendetta ride. in total the divergent river triangle’s perimeter is about 2,500 miles and takes 36 hours nonstop to drive. in contrast, the show’s ghost river triangle is 617 miles and takes about only an easy 12 hours to drive from point to point. purgatory is west of denver, and the homestead is about where the house icon is.   ( larger image version is here. )

yeah okay, so the size may be of some issue, but vastness aside, there are three things this triangle does have, that the other doesn’t. firstly, historical accuracy. it includes nearly all of the areas where a number of wyatt’s targets made their peace. if we tie back to wyatt’s vendetta ride and the whole paralleling idea for a moment, many of the revenants who rode with bulshar would've died in various areas of colorado and the purgatory area. secondly, the terrain might aid with narrowing revenant whereabouts down. deserts and mountains surround a majority of these iconic towns.          and lastly another argument can be made that because some revenants do want to end the earp line, few might've simply migrated to colorado and placed themselves somewhere closer within wynonna’s line of fire.

i could continue ridiculously blabbering on and on about why i chose this location divergence for my character. everything from climate, to terrain, and how there are salt flats in utah nearby, or my really strong distaste for how the show writers erased wyatt earp and doc holliday’s real history,            but in honesty i think everything i’ve covered above nicely sums up my research and premise. anywhooo, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed the read!

[sunshineoptimismandangels]

Not Another Ghost Story - Chapter 1

Pairing: Klaine Status: WIP Author: sunshineoptimismandangels Summary: When Kurt Hummel began an online ghost investigation show with his best friend and his step-brother he never expected to find himself alone in an abandoned and reportedly haunted hotel, but one stormy night Kurt finds more than he ever expected in the derelict and chilling Whispering Wolf Hotel. In fact, Kurt may have found exactly what he’s has been looking for. A story of romance, comedy, and sinister plots. Author’s Note: I named this “Not Another Ghost Story” because anyone who has read any of my other stories knows I like to write about magic, and ghosts, and otherworldly tales. This story isn’t that… not exactly at least. FF.net | AO3

Parked in front of a timeworn and abandoned roadside hotel the pale blue pickup truck looked out of place; the only sign of life for miles and huddled under the flickering light of the lone street lamp as if it was seeking warmth against the howling wind outside. Years ago, the Whispering Wolf Hotel was a bustling high-end establishment, wealthy guest, important businessmen, and fashionable ladies stayed here. It was gorgeous, elite and pricey… and then the interstate was built a few miles west of the hotel. The whole landscape of the area changed as traffic was diverted elsewhere and slowly, in time, no one came to the Whispering Wolf anymore

Of course, that was why Kurt Hummel was here. Hunched down in the front seat of the blue pickup and grumbling under his breath as the wind beat into the side of the truck. Kurt glared at the text message that'd just came in from his supposed "best friend".

We're on our way! Set up without us. Be there soon.

"Damn it, Rachel!" Kurt growled glancing outside at the hotel. To say the hotel had seen better days was an understatement. Most of the windows were busted out, the paint on the siding had long faded away, and the roof sagged causing Kurt to worry about the safety of the entire structure. Watching the building it almost seemed to sway with the harsh wind and Kurt wondered even if his friends got here soon if it was safe to go poking around a building that looked like it could collapse as easily as a house of cards. He had certainly never planned on going into this deserted and decaying building alone. Kurt's long-time friend Rachel and her boyfriend, Kurt's stepbrother Finn, were supposed to be here with him. Then Rachel got held up at her day job and Finn said he'd pick her up and bring her when she was done. They asked Kurt to pack the equipment and head out there himself, Rachel swearing they'd be right behind him. Now it was nearing nine o'clock, the sun had set, and Kurt was left outside a creepy old hotel by himself while the wind wailed and the damn street lamp flickered as if it was a dying soul about to be snuffed out. To top it all off, if the rumbling in the air and the heavy clouds above were any indication it was about to start pouring down rain.

Kurt wasn't a naturally fearful person. In fact, out of the three-person Ghost Investigators team, Kurt was typically the unflappable one, but here alone, looking out at the looming and decrepit Whispering Wolf (and who named a hotel something so menacing anyway?) Kurt felt a bit apprehensive… and very frustrated.

You owe me big after this. Kurt texted Rachel back. And you better actually be driving here on your way, not I'm thinking about getting to the car soon on your way.

Kurt slipped his phone into his back pocket before Rachel had a chance to answer and hopped out of the truck before he could change his mind. At least he could get inside and set up before the rain started. He was having a particularly good hair day and there was no point in messing that up by getting caught in a downpour. Especially when he was about to be in front of the camera.

Kurt lifted the cover off the bed of the truck and started taking out what he needed. A generator and a couple collapsible set lights. He would grab the big camera if Rachel and Finn were here, but without them Kurt would probably only need the hand-held steady cam. He'd let Finn haul in the heavy camera when he got here. Which had better be soon. Kurt may be an amateur ghost investigator, but he did not sign up to wander around a building that could topple down on top of him all on his own.

"This was Finn's idea in the first place," Kurt grumbled under his breath as he lugged the heavy generator towards to the hotel. "It will be fun! We can post videos online. We could become famous!"

Rachel had jumped on board at the word "famous".

Kurt had only agreed because his school and his part-time job working the switchboard for a car dealership was boring as hell and there was little interesting to do even in his time off around Lima, Ohio. With Finn's wild idea of starting a ghost hunting show, there was at least a small opportunity for acting. Kurt was at his best when performing. Besides, he was only doing this until he was done with his second year at the University of North Ohio and then he was transferring to NYU and getting out of Lima for good.

The Whispering Wolf wasn't the first 'haunted' sight Rachel, Finn, and he had explored. They filmed episodes at a couple old houses in Ohio and their last exploration had been an old abandoned restaurant, where purportedly someone had died a few years back. Rachel had declared they been murdered! Poisoned by some deranged cook that used to work there… though the information Kurt dug up said heart attack.

 Of course, when they investigated, they found nothing, no ghosts or otherworldly apparitions. They never did – but as she did with everyplace they investigated, Rachel had acted scared and enthralled and had faked a few ghost sightings. Finn was easily impressionable and swore he felt a chill every time they turned a corner. Kurt went along with it all for the acting challenge. After some editing and some music and sound effects were added, the episodes weren't so bad. They might not be believable exactly, but Kurt could at least say they were entertaining. The Ghost Investigators even had a decent online following.

Kurt lugged the generator and his backpack to the front door of the dilapidated old building and tried the rusted metal handle. The door only opened half an inch before jamming. Kurt sighed and placed the heavy generator on the ground before shouldering the door a couple times, it took all his strength to get it to swing inward wide enough to grab the generator and slide through.

It was pitch dark inside the hotel of course. Kurt turned on his handheld camera, mostly for the small beam of light projected in front of it and swung around the light. It was a typical hotel lobby. If Kurt used his imagination, he could almost picture how it must have looked once upon a time, plush red carpet, blue and gold damask wallpaper, polished wood check-in desk, and a sweeping staircase to the second floor. Now it was nothing more than a sad monument of a forgotten golden era, the carpet was ripped up in parts leaving the rotting wood floorboard beneath, the wallpaper peeled off the wall and hung lifeless like the petals of a dying flower and the check-in desk was covered in dust and cobwebs. Worst of all, the entire place smelled of mildew and decaying wood.

All in all, Kurt had to admit, it was the perfect location for a hunting. Rachel and Finn would be thrilled.

If they ever got here.

Kurt sat the generator down and began shooting some b-roll of the lobby – first just with the attached flashlight and then in night vision mode to get that green eerie lighting that was a hallmark of a good ghost hunting video. Thunder rumbled outside and Kurt's spine tingled as he was reminded of the impending rain. He went back outside to grab the lamps he'd left leaning against the truck and made sure the bed cover was secure so none of the remaining equipment would get wet. He glanced up at the sky as he headed back in, dark storm clouds covered the moon and the wind was picking up. It was going to rain any second now; he really hoped Rachel and Finn got here before it started.

Kurt took a few minutes setting up the lights and hooking them up to the generator. If Rachel wanted some shots of herself in the lobby before the lights were set up, well then she should have gotten here on time. After that, Kurt did a few takes of himself standing in the lobby and introducing the hotel, his camera on a tripod in front of him. "Built in 1921 the Whispering Wolf is a protected historic building, which is the only reason the whole place hasn't been torn down. It hasn't been in use since 1970." Kurt had actually enjoyed looking into the history of the old building.

The Whispering Wolf was on the outskirts of Westerville, Ohio. A couple hours' drive from where Kurt lived in Lima, but he'd heard about it before. Of course he had, since its closure in 1970 it had been a hangout for teenagers, a place for transients to lay their head, and most of all – the center of ghost stories and urban myths. The story was that someone had been murdered here and their spirit still-hunted the hotel even as it sat empty all these years. The story had very little continuity, some said it was a 1920s mobster killed shortly after the hotel opened, others said it was a 1960s hippie girl murdered after running away from home, and there were many other claims as well. The only thing locals seemed to agree on was that the hotel was definitely haunted.

 When Kurt did some research, looking at old newspaper articles and police reports, what he found was that someone had been killed there. Not a hippie or a mobster, just some unnamed young man killed at the Whispering Wolf in the 1950s. Kurt was happy with just finding out that, it was a lot more than Rachel, Finn, and he usually had to go on when exploring a 'hunted' structure. His research also uncovered that at one point in the 1950s the hotel had been used as a convalescent home. Rachel and Finn had been ecstatic about that fact.

"Holy crap! It was a loony bin?"

"You can’t say 'loony bin', Finn." Rachel chided him. "It was an insane asylum."

"Mental hospital." Kurt corrected with an eye-roll, "Not that it matters, because it wasn't one. It was more like an upscale spa for rich people recovering from minor surgery or illness."

"Kurt you have no imagination. For our purposes, tortured mental patients and the spirits of malevolent doctors roam the halls of that hotel! That's way scarier."

"But there was a murder-"

"Malevolent doctors, Kurt!"

"Oh yeah, the crazy house spin is perfect." Finn had agreed and Kurt didn't fight them on the idea even if he thought the killing in the 1950s made a better and more accurate story. It wasn't as if anyone took the show seriously anyway. People didn’t watch for historical accuracy.

Now that Kurt was alone in this god-forsaken hotel, he was glad to remind himself that it had never been a mental hospital and he tried very hard not to imagine anyone being killed here - or dying here in any way.

It was just an empty building. It wasn't scary, haunted, or sinister. It was just… old. The howling sound was just the wind outside, and the creaking sound was just an old building's shifting foundation, and he did not believe in ghosts.

Kurt pulled his phone out, no messages from either Rachel or Finn. Traitors.

You better be here in the next five minutes or you're dead to me! Kurt texted them both.

There was a loud boom of thunder outside followed almost immediately by the bright flash of lightning through the windows and the hair on Kurt's forearms stood on end. "Shit," Kurt swore as he fumbled with his phone in surprise.

Even with the light provided by the lamps he had set up the lobby was still dim and ominous, he looked around the empty room, the few pieces of old furniture and the check-in desk casting long shadows in the light of his lamps. He gasped as he thought he saw something moving out of the corner of his eye and spun to face a broken window, there was nothing there, nothing outside, all he could see was his truck sitting alone under the fading streetlamp.

Kurt shook out his shoulders; he was letting himself get spooked over nothing. Maybe he should just go sit in the pickup until his disloyal ghost hunting partners finally arrived. He started towards the front door when, with another crack of thunder, the storm clouds finally opened and sheets of rain came roaring down. Water splattered in from the broken window frames, but it was still far dryer here than it would be racing out to the truck in this torrent. Kurt chewed on his lip. Fine. He'd wait inside. At least until the rain died down a bit and at that point he might just pack up and leave. This was becoming more of a fruitless endeavor by the minute.

He glanced at his phone again, caught between anger and worry that neither Finn nor Rachel had texted him back yet. He had a couple options here; he could wait in the lobby until the rain lessened, or he could make good use of his time and actually go exploring a little, taking some shots and seeing if there was anything here for a good episode of Ghost Investigators. Kurt sighed, he was Kurt Hummel and the Hummels didn't just sit around on their hands and wait.

 He grabbed the handheld cam off the tripod and slowly crept past the check-in desk, the stairway looked solid enough, it wasn't going to give way under his feet at least. He could probably poke around some empty rooms upstairs. The rain rattled against the side of the hotel and the wind wailed, Kurt's spine tingled and he had to let out a long deep breath before he started for the stairs. This was silly; he was not scared of the dark. He turned the camera on and pointed it towards the staircase. "I'm going exploring while I wait for the untrustworthy Rachel Berry and her bumbling boyfriend. ‘We're on our way!'” Kurt rolled his eyes as he whispered to the camera, “Yeah, right." He started up the first few creaky steps. "No reason not to get a look around just because my partners have become completely undependable."

Kurt smoothed down his designer button-up shirt; it was midnight blue with little white crescent moons all over it. It had seemed appropriate for ghost hunting, besides, Kurt knew he looked really good in it and he never passed up a chance to look good on screen. Kurt turned the camera to face him as he paused on the stairwell."Rumor has it that the  Whispering Wolf is haunted by the spirit of a young man who died here in the 1950s after being shot and killed by a jealous ex-lover. James Doyle was barely older than me when he met his grisly death."

Rachel and Finn had forfeited their right to fight him on the main story for the Whispering Wolf episode when they hadn't even shown up. The made-up mental hospital was out. The real-life murder was back on.

Kurt looked up the long staircase not able to make out the second floor in the heavy darkness. He licked his lips nervously, the camera still trained on him. It was okay to let some of his nerves show on camera; it built suspense, as long as he didn't let himself actually get too scared. He was a professional after all. "I guess I should go up there?" Kurt said into the camera before turning it around to view the dismal staircase that led up to utter blackness. He did not want to go up there.

There was a loud crash and a bang from behind him, Kurt spun around with his heart in his throat. The set lights had crashed to the ground, light bulbs popping as the curtains on the front windows flew outwards floating in the air like luminous specters. Kurt let out a startled shriek and then barreled up the rest of the staircase.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" Kurt panted once he reached the second floor and rounded a corner so he couldn't even see the lobby anymore. He leaned up against a wall and caught his breath turning the camera to face him again. He covered his mouth with a hand and laughed nervously through his fingers before letting his hand drop and taking a deep breath. "I better have gotten that on camera." He joked with his future viewers as he tried to breathe and calm the beating of his heart. "Did you see that? Sure it was probably just the wind, but you would have freaked out too if you were here alone while your co-conspirators are safe and warm somewhere probably making-out having forgotten all about you."

Kurt gently smoothed back his hair and took a deep breath, time to be brave. "I guess I'll check out the second floor now that I'm here." He turned the camera around to face the long dark hallway in front of him. "This is where the murder is said to have taken place. In one of these guest rooms." Kurt looked from the hallway down to the image of the hallway on his camera, "If there is a spirit haunting this place it-" Kurt stopped talking, his throat going dry and a cold chill running down his spine.

There was something in the hallway ahead of him. Just out of sight, he was sure he'd seen something move.

"Hello?" Kurt called out, but his voice was barely above a whisper, "Is… is anyone there?" In the back of his mind, he was just starting to think that if this was a prank by Rachel or Finn he was going to murder them – when something in front of him in the darkness moved again.

"Oh god." Kurt glanced back at his camera; the night vision making out more than his eyes could in the darkness, just as something stepped into frame. Kurt took a stumbling step backward, a scream choked in his throat, as the green night vision revealed the grainy outline of a young man.

Kurt gasped audibly and looked up from the camera to the form standing in front of him, donned in slacks, a snuggly fitting button up shirt, suspenders, a bowtie, and looking like he'd just stepped out of the 1950s to personally haunt Kurt.

Kurt screamed.

The ghost screamed back.

 [Chapter 2]

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper Interviews Linda Howard and Linda Jones

After Sundown by Linda Howard and Linda Jones is a very relevant story. It will sound familiar to those who have sheltered in place during this pandemic. The timing could not be better with panic surrounding certain aspects of the coronavirus, and in this book the panic surrounds preparation and fallout from a solar storm.

A quote in the book is surreal considering what is going on today.  “They walked in the middle of the road… there was no traffic at all.  Walking in the middle of the usually busy highway felt both daring and freeing, and the fact that they could was one more example of how drastically their world had changed in a single day.”

Readers are introduced to Ben Jernigan, a recluse who has settled on top of a mountain outside of the small community of Wears Valley, Tennessee, after he got out of the Marines two years ago. Going against his solitary nature, he finds himself forewarning Sela Gordon, the owner of a small grocery store and gas station he occasionally uses. He tells her of a catastrophic solar storm that will take down the global power grid in less than 24 hours. She doesn’t quite believe him, but gathers supplies just in case. When the grid goes down as predicted, Sela and her neighbors are plunged into a new world order. Money has no meaning, gasoline is gold, and people must band together as food and other supplies dwindle. There is no electricity, no cell phones, TV, or computers; no more grocery stores, gas stations, warm water, or washing machines, and no more hospitals and medications. Unlike today, where people need to self-isolate, the town of Wears Valley was community isolating, where residents pull together to do what they must to survive and maintain social order.

Knowing she needs to protect her aunt, niece, and some elderly friends Sela realizes a community council must be formed.  Due to unforeseen circumstances she is chosen as its leader; a role she feels she is not comfortable or suited for. Events sometimes lead people to find in themselves traits that they do not realize existed. Sela grew from a shy and insecure woman to an independent, take charge person, while Ben wanted to be a hermit and didn't want to deal with people, but Sela changed him. They complimented each other. He became protective, strong, and determined, and used his resourceful skills of surviving to help Sela, her family, her friends, and the community to stay safe. The relationship grew from a mutual attraction to a passionate love where both solitary people realized how much they needed and wanted each other.

The book starts quickly and the action never stops. It shows how people during a disaster can step up to the plate, exhibiting spunk and courage as they adapt to a new life. The story shows how events can bring out either the good or the bad in people. It is relevant to the current situation, while not a pandemic, the natural disaster has the potential to be as deadly or even more so with millions of people dying from both natural and manmade causes.

Elise Cooper: How did you get the idea for the story?

Linda Jones:  We went up to the valley where the book is set.  As we sat on the porch over-looking the valley, we thought about what could go wrong.

Linda Howard:  When we started to kick around the idea we thought of an EMP, electric magnetic pulse, but that would mean we would be at war and it would not be worldwide.  In the South, there was a huge solar storm a few years ago, actually there are a few every year. We started to do research and found out about CME, a coronal mass ejection, where the sun basically spits plasmas at us, destroying all the electricity.  

EC:  How did you both know what was needed to survive?

LH: We actually put in the book about a toilet paper shortage with the quote, “she grabbed more toilet paper.” In 1993 there was a huge blizzard where I lived.  I was alone, without power for a week.  When it was over I had my Scarlett O’Hara moment, “As God is my witness I will never go through this again.” I started preparing with supplies and a generator.  

LJ:  I experienced in 2011 a tornado that left us without power and water for a week.  Linda told me horror stories to get me prepared and now I even have a solar charger for my phone.

EC:  What was the writing process like?

LJ:  It is a wonder we got anything done because our writing process is so different.  I write really fast.  If I stop for a period of time, I lose contact with the characters and have to go back to the beginning to pick up that connection. LH will write and then take a three-month break.  It actually took us twice as long to write this book than when writing on our own.  

EC:  Did you each write certain parts?

LH:  We wrote the book together, except LJ wrote all the Janis Joplin parts.  There is only one phrase I know I wrote for sure, instead of Dear Jesus, it was “Dear Desus.” It is a Southern country phrase to keep from using the Lord’s name in vain.

EC:  Ben distrusted people because of what happened to him in the military?

LH:  He does not trust the establishment.  We put in this book quote, “After years of combat and dealing with bureaucrats who didn’t know their asses from a hole in the ground, but were never-the-less in charge of life and death concerning him and his men.”  Bureaucrats are not elected and no one knows who they are; yet, they make a lot of decisions in people’s lives.  They have a lot of influence over the military and not all of it is good.

EC:  How would you describe Ben?

LH and LJ: Fallacious, a man every woman wants.  He is handy, a decision maker, pragmatic, and a man of action.  He is like Daryl in “Walking Dead,” but better looking. His time in the military affected him and he got PTSD.  After he got out he became a loner, talking more to his dog than anyone.  If not for the crisis he and Sela would never have had a conversation.

EC:  What about those nicknames for Ben?

LH:  You are referring to “sweet bun,” Hottie McHot Hot, “Buns of Steel,” and “Stud Muffin.” LH made them up. Since Aunt Carol is fun and has a lot of zest for life she just thought of what popped into her head.  Even though she is older she does not think of herself in that way.  

EC:  How would you describe Sela?

LH and LJ: She is shy, a thinker, logical, compassionate, and caring.  Overall, she did not have much self-confidence, and is quiet. Sela is a risk-taker who will put herself in harm’s way to protect the people she loves.

EC: How would you describe Olivia?

LH and LJ: A typical teenager.  She has grit, is courageous, and intelligent.  She lost her parents at an early age, which caused her to grow up faster.  

EC:  What about the relationship?

LH and LJ: Ben felt safe with Sela and saw the strength in her she did not know she had.  They silently lusted for one another.  They are comfortable with and understand each other.  They made sure they respected each other’s boundaries.

EC:  The dog is a Mountain Cur Dog?

LH:  This breed of dog is popular in the mountainous area of the South.  The dog was named after Pat Sajak, the Wheel of Fortune show host.  I think it is culturally appropriate for a dog. They are intelligent, friendly, and are good for hunting.  I do not have this type of dog, but I do have a Golden Retriever.  They are in a category by themselves.

EC:  Who is the Janis Joplin fan?

LH:  I am.  She is a singer I like.  I listened to her when I painted my house.  I used the energy in the song she sang.

EC:  What do you want readers to get out of the book?

LH and LJ: We get a lot of calls asking us how to prepare.  We have become Survivalist experts.  We wrote the book to entertain, but also to have people thinking about being prepared.  There is a need for food, water, toilet paper, batteries, enough medication, and food for your dog.  Modern technology is important, but there is also a need to have tools where someone could get by without it.  

EC:  What about your next books?

LJ: I am working on a self-published book that is in the paranormal genre.  I got stalled when the virus quarantine hit.  Because of all the stress, I could not concentrate.

LH:  I am working on the third book in the “Go-Team series.”  I got stalled after my knee surgery a few months ago.  The Go-Team is a paramilitary organization.  The “GO” stands for global offensive.

THANK YOU!!