#funniest name duo ever

[chimsartblog]

I've found it! The timeline where you won!

[batsplat]

Is Valentino Rossi the best rider in 1vs1 battles?

ehhhhh *shrugs* I mean. the best ever? like. who knows. the best in the field most years he was competing in the sport? maybe, I guess?

this is one of those questions where I don't really like giving definitive answers but am more interested in how you'd even go about assessing it? like, what metrics are you looking at, what are the criteria, can you put numbers to it or do you have to be super holistic about it or what. I think the 1 vs 1 is already an interesting distinctions, because that is a little different from just talking about wheel to wheel skill. they're related skill sets, but it's not the exact same

so. to bring in an example with a sample set of races I imagine most people reading this are pretty familiar with. let's say we're comparing valentino and marc in direct combat with each other. let's say we put the races where they're fighting one-on-one for basically the entire race in one box, so assen 2015 and catalunya 2016. let's say we have races where one of them is working their way through the field - and it's all building towards the confrontation between the two of them, so say a qatar 2013, a qatar 2014, an argentina 2015. let's say you have a very intense fight that doesn't last the whole race, like sepang 2015, or an extended 'duel' that is basically a defensive ride without any actual overtakes, like silverstone 2015. now, you may have noticed that from this list, valentino... kinda wins a lot of these? not qatar 2014, plus sepang 2015 is in the 'this cost both riders too much to have a winner' camp, but except for that? it's a strong record for valentino. however! the moment you take away the '1 vs 1' qualifier, suddenly the record looks way kinder to marc - you have a catalunya 2014, a phillip island 2015 and a phillip island 2017 go in his favour, while only assen 2017 is a multi-rider dogfight that involves both of them where valentino ends up taking the win. I do think when you're considering 'rivalries' and how a particular dynamic develops over time, it's worth looking specifically at what's happening in extended one-on-one combat and differentiating that from dogfights! because it is a different vibe, because it matters if you're just focused on one guy. but of course both categories still matter in assessing direct combat... even if there are also different skills involved in those different types of fights. valentino, even very late in his career, was still particularly adept at challenging and outsmarting individual riders, and it's a specific format he clearly did thrive in. so. yeah. both of these general categories are indicative of w2w ability, even if they're not quite the same - either in terms of the skills required or in terms of narrative implications

here's another issue. valentino tends to win the race-deciding extended confrontations against marc, but obviously that too isn't entirely reflective of what happened when they met each other on-track. this is because during their time together in the premier class, marc was winning a lot more races than valentino and generally had more pace than valentino, so a lot of on-track confrontations that marc came on top of where typically one-and-done type situations. overtake and move on, overtake and move on. so while you still have a misano 2014 (valentino overtakes marc and marc eventually crashes while attempting to keep up) or a brno 2014 (another valentino overtake where he pulls clear), you then also have laguna 2013 (the corkscrew move is the end of that battle), le mans 2014 (a single overtake around halfway through the race after which marc easily pulls clear), indy 2014 (an early tussle that eventually becomes more marc domination), motegi 2016 (similar, except here valentino ends up crashing), thailand 2018 (valentino can't keep up the pace once marc has gotten past)... like, we get to a place where we're risking penalising marc for 'being very fast' and not sticking around once he's gotten the overtake done, which does also feel wrong? it's an odd balance - because, again, when we're talking Actual Rivalries then it does matter who is winning an extended battle, psychologically if nothing else. like if that's the bit that mattered the most to the outcome of your race, if that's the bit people will remember years to come, if you invested a lot into winning that fight, of course it does matter. but that's narrative, not skill... is this really a good way of assessing how good someone is at 1 vs 1 duels?

I picked the example of that specific rivalry not just because it's the one most people are most familiar with or because I love engaging in discourse about that rivalry - but because I think direct rivalry comparisons are probably the most straightforward way you can approach trying to figure out who is 'better'... and marc clocks in just behind casey as the one who has the most balanced record against valentino w2w. like, biaggi is basically a walkover, and honestly you don't really have that many extended 1 vs 1 duels except for welkom 2004. and for sete, obviously a great rivalry (and I've always believed you don't need a rivalry of equals for it to be good and fun), but also once you get past that sachsenring 2003 turning point then the balance does go out of the window. I've been thinking about this in relation to a longer ask I've ended up massively overthinking (surely not), but I was kinda startled looking back at just how one-sided valentino's record is against jorge. like, unless I'm forgetting some major battles, the most extended scrap you can point to that jorge won is for his very first premier class win at estoril 2008 - and that's also pretty much settled by around halfway/two thirds through the race. but the actual 1 vs 1's that last much of the race? catalunya 2009? sachsenring 2009? motegi 2010? well.... hm. races that build to a battle like sepang 2010 also go in valentino's favour, and even extended tussles like le mans 2011 and phillip island 2014 are more valentino W's. hell, even various short and sweet battles like jerez and indy 2008, misano 2009, motegi 2015, aragon 2016, sachsenring 2018 generally have valentino come out on top - though in this category there's some exceptions, like qatar 2008, indy 2009 and jerez 2010 that all involved jorge besting valentino in a short direct fight

which raises another problem... we do need to in some way acknowledge that valentino simply ends up in more of these fights than most of his rivals - and as a direct result ends up winning more of them. like, once jorge clicked into title winning form in 2010, most of his wins became 'shoot off the line and win way ahead of everyone else with metronomic consistency'. I'm not saying all his race wins were like that! and he did win some great duels in his time in the premier class, especially against marc. but of course, he did that kind of dominating races a hell of a lot more than valentino did - whose approach to winning races was more 'qualify wherever, amble off the line, get moving around halfway through the race and figure things out from there'. now, I discussed this point a little bit here in the context of 'was valentino still successfully mind gaming the other aliens' - but just to bring it back, valentino was deliberately approaching his races in ways geared primarily towards being able to fight his opponents, even to the level of how he set up his bike:

you see this most extremely with something like laguna 2008, where valentino flat out knew he didn't have the outright pace to win - his entire strategy was built around not being the fastest but being able to fuck with casey. in that situation, he's not got the speed, he's building his entire strategy for the win around wheel-to-wheel disruption. and this, plus the regularly mediocre qualifying and starts, does just mean that statistically speaking he's overtaking more riders in his average win than any of the other aliens are. like, if that's your primary metric, then yes! he's clearly very good at w2w! by extension he's also very good at 1 vs 1 duels! if you're looking at riders who have clocked in more than a certain number of wins and do the maths of average overtakes per win, then, yes, I would imagine he tops that metric. does that make him the best? ... well, again... it does feel like you're risking penalising the better qualifiers and starters for being better qualifiers and starters and not ending up in seventh place at the end of every single first lap

so, you've got 'how they measure up against their direct rivals' and 'average numbers of overtakes' as ways to begin considering w2w ability as well as 1 vs 1 track record. then you get into increasingly nebulous waters... here's another potential metric for w2w skill I quite like: efficiency in overtaking. not naming any names, but there are certain riders who, when attempting to work their way through the field, will just. get stuck. even though they have a clear pace advantage over the rider directly in front of them. leading to incredible amounts of faffing about rather than just getting the overtake done. obviously, valentino does like to engage in some faffing about too, but generally speaking he's only doing that when he's in close proximity to the race leader and can realistically get himself to the front of the pack fairly quickly. he's very efficient when he's actually working his way through the field. of course, this is something marc is similarly excellent at, as he has shown plenty of times this year... which. well. this is where we run headfirst into another problem: this sport has changed a lot over the years and some things are simply not at the same difficulty level as they were in past years. so, sticking with those two, which of these is a 'better' comeback? 2006 sachsenring, where valentino starts tenth on the grid after tyre problems in qualifying, at a track he doesn't really love and in serious championship trouble, but works his way to the front before having to fend off the chasing pack that is coming back at him all the way until the chequered flag? or 2024 sachsenring, where marc starts thirteenth on the grid after having been impeded in q1, at his speciality circuit that he's visiting for the first time on a new bike, and works his way up to p2 despite his fractured rib and finger in an era where overtaking is a lot harder than it was in 2006? well, first of all, congrats to both of them, very nicely done. but secondly, that's kind of the problem, right? while I'm sure prime valentino in this era would also regularly be doing that marc/pedro thing where they make the commentators go 'oh ho ho they said overtaking was impossible in motogp these days!!' - at the end of the day his approach involved some built-in faffing about that was also more feasible back in the day. if we're assessing w2w ability, we do need to make some kind of allowance for era - which also affects how often riders are likely to find themselves in 1 vs 1 duels in the first place

here's another plausible metric: last lap battles. this is ALSO something that is super era-dependent. casey in his whole time in the premier class gets involved in like? about four battles that are still going on in the final lap? there's definitely a few I'm forgetting, especially if they weren't for wins/podium places, but it's definitely not a lot. compare and contrast with how the 2017 to 2019 era played out. everything back then was tyre management, tyre management and more tyre management, and dovi in particular was big on the 'eh let's win this race at the slowest possible pace' thing, where everyone crawled around the track as slowly as they could get away with before pulling the pin a few laps before the end. obviously, the characteristics of that era were a) very beneficial to dovi, in that they rewarded both those who knew how to make those specific tyres work (and his decline in 2020 was largely linked to the changes in tyres) and those who were very good at managing last lap duels, but b) inherently were more likely to produce last lap duels than a few other eras. like, in the alien era, which regularly featured gaps of. idk. seven seconds between the front runners, the characteristics of those bikes (as well as those riders) just meant you had very few battles that lasted that long. so inherently, it's harder to judge riders like, say, casey on how good they are in that kind of situation, not least because you are working with such a tiny sample size. and those battles are a big feature of how we remember 1 vs 1 duels!! people love last lap duels!!

now, yes, obviously valentino's record in 1 vs 1 last lap duels is very strong, and there's really only a few he loses over the course of his entire career. dovi is another strong contender in that particular category if we're just limiting ourselves to riders this century (which we are). (unfortunately, those two kinda took turns to be competitive so we didn't really get much of a direct h2h, but off the top of my head I think it's a pleasing 2-2? dovi takes qatar 2008 and le mans 2011, valentino takes qatar 2015 and argentina 2019. I feel like I'm definitely forgetting something.) but again, you do end up in caveat central with this metric. look at marc, who was reliably finding himself in last lap duels specifically at tracks he and/or the honda were quite poor at - again, ragging on that record too much does feel like you're penalising him for managing to get there in the first place. on the other hand, is it really fair to take too much credit away from dovi in handling those situations - surely, at the point where you're arriving in the last lap together, you're at a stage where both riders have a decent chance of winning? on the third hand, it is worth pointing out that dovi is more often than not in the lead going into those last laps, and is fending off a sort of on-the-edge last gasp 'might as well have a go' marc attack. 'last lap battles' is inherently quite a loose term, and how much should who's leading going in be considered a criterion? does it matter if you actually have an overtake or not? does it matter when in the lap the overtake happens? it's obviously quite an arbitrary category... sete makes a mistake headed into the last lap at sachsenring 2005 that gives valentino the lead, while marc makes a mistake on the penultimate lap of catalunya 2016 that essentially ends his victory challenge towards valentino. how do you compare those?

and at a certain point, you need to get away from the headline numbers and start thinking about what it actually means to be good at 1 vs 1 duels. you get into categories like 'race management' - choosing when best to make your attack, balancing risk and reward, not making risky overtake attempts for no good reason when you could just wait for half a minute longer, making sure not to needlessly fuck your tyres while pushing too hard too early. there's ability to actually execute overtakes, which is a question of race craft, creativity, and also about being able to play the opponent. there's various defensive abilities - somebody like pecco exemplifies this, who is both very hard to initially overtake in part due to his ability on his brakes, but is also adept at immediately re-overtaking (a favourite trick of his mentor too, as it happens). to borrow from another sport's terminology, you can contrast 'conversion' and 'steal' rate - if you have the superior underlying pace at crucial stages of the race, are you actually converting that into your maximum achievable result, or conversely if you have inferior pace, can you steal a result your pace doesn't 'merit'? obviously, you get a massive blot in the copy book every time you fail to convert any kind of result by crashing out or by bagging yourself a severe penalty for your race conduct. what about the psychological dimension? your ability to put pressure on another rider, e.g. by showing them a wheel here or there, to force them into a mistake rather than 'just overtaking' them via pure skill? is reputation and intimidation part of your skill set when it comes to wheel to wheel ability? the off-track 'work' you're doing on the opponent, and the prior weight of their expectations for this fight... your ability to study and analyse riders to pinpoint where they are at their strongest and weakest, while also figuring out where they're going to expect an attack and where they won't - maybe even sucker them into thinking it will come from somewhere differently than it actually does... on sheer weight of his track record, you'd have to say valentino is pretty much peerless in some of these categories. and, yes, some of these skills are weighted quite clearly towards the '1 vs 1' element over the 'multi-rider dogfight' element of w2w skills. they're more about terrorising a specific rival than thriving in the chaos

so. what does all of this mean. what's the actual answer. is valentino the best at 1 vs 1 duels. well. who knows. even if we're ignoring the historical dimension and limiting ourselves just to this century, there's too many confounding factors - from different racing eras within that time span to different individual approaches to racing - to allow us to truly evaluate who the 'best' is. I think the cleanest way to summarise it is... from the great riders this century, valentino is the one who most depends on his 1 vs 1 skills (and w2w skills more broadly). that's his unique selling point in a way you wouldn't say it is for any of the others... the guy who gets closest is dovi - but I still reckon his biggest skill is his tyre management and that was the most important differentiating factor that made him so competitive in 2017-19. his ability to scrap w2w comes second (and is absolutely a constant throughout his career), but really that's the bit that allows him to take advantage of the tyre whispering skills... it lets him finish the job, if you will. whereas with valentino, his brains and cunning broadly speaking and his w2w more specifically - and especially the 1 vs 1 stuff - is like, his x factor. I mean... obviously he's also good at the other things - I called him a mid qualifier but of course it's worth remembering he has 55 career pole positions in the premier class, more than jorge or casey or dani. this is primarily a function of his longevity and all of them are definitely better qualifiers than him, but like. of course he's not slow. it's just that relatively speaking, when compared to the other aliens, he's the one who is winning the least via his actual raw pace. here's one metric for that: in valentino's seven premier class title campaigns, he only has the highest average grid position in only three (and during his super dominant 2002 season, it's joint with biaggi). in three of those title-winning seasons, he's the second best qualifier on average, and in one of them he's only third best. the only other seasons this century where the best qualifier on average doesn't win the title are 2015 (marc just beats jorge, valentino is quite a distant third), 2020 (joan mir icon winning a title with an average grid position of NINE POINT FIVE SEVEN lmaoooooo, only seventh best on the grid), 2022 (fabio is a little ahead of martin and then pecco) and... that's it

which kinda means that... can you say valentino's objectively better at 1 vs 1 battles than the other aliens? well, no. I mean, sure, I do feel fairly happy to say he's better than jorge and especially dani, more *wiggles hand* about casey and marc - because with those two there's enough confounding factors in comparing them to valentino and they've also challenged valentino often enough directly that you can make the alternative case. in the end you do kinda go... well, it's very much a 'all these guys were at their best in very different versions of motogp' thing. what you can say is that for valentino, 1 vs 1 prowess is a bigger part of his game than it is for his fellow aliens. his route to victory both on an individual race level and on a title fight level is built around engaging in a lot of these fights and winning them - and, given how successful he's been, of course you do have to conclude that bit of his game is clearly operating on a high level. so when you compare that to both casey and marc, those two really do have other bits of their games that are more important to their success. fewer of their race victories percentage-wise have been won through 1 vs 1 duels. casey is dominating enough races from the front he's not even doing all that much w2w tussling. marc might be losing plenty of these close duels, but he's relentlessly at the front enough that this consistency is what's giving him titles as much as anything else. whereas valentino's entire approach is tailored towards finding himself in those kinds of direct scraps, winning said scraps, and then using those scraps as a way to demoralise the opposition... unsurprisingly, he's got the biggest sample size of that style of battle and has a very high success rate. who knows if he's the best, but he is the most dependent on that specific skill. and he sure has had a lot of practise at those duels, which I imagine will have gotten him just a little closer to being perfect

[inhidingxoxo3637]

Acosta is the sylvanian family mole

THE MOLE FAMILY ARE CALLED THE MCBURROWS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[whirlybirbs]

lowkey imagining the All Might Agency Social Media team organizing videos with All Might and Derecho, just different ones like " All might and Derecho read thirst tweets", "Derecho answers questions while in a room of kittens/puppies" "AmA w/ All Might and Derecho while they are attached to a polygraph".

Honestly endless, but the shenanigans between them. The clips of either one of them breaking their persona for even a millisecond, more fan edits of them together. Sure they might hate some of them, it's pr more than anything, but memories and inside jokes from them probably last a life time.

Bonus points if during the polygraph, Derecho asks if he put his name into the raffle for that charity calendar and he has to choose to either try and lie, tell the truth, or take a shot as a "I plead the 5th" move.

derecho is definitely the only one who can come sort of close to doing some trending dance right, but she’s hellbent on maintaining her quickly eroding “stoic bad girl persona” so refuses until all might is the one who begs on behalf of the social media team

the youtube compilations of “all might and derecho being the funniest hero duo for twenty minutes” but it’s just them dissolving into laughter over AMA questions, various news interview bloopers, and a bunch of supercuts of derecho making faces at toshinori when she thinks he isn’t looking

the “plot twist” fan edits where it’s making all might seem like he’s the strongest then it cuts to derecho’s Most Feral Moments

the fanfiction. need i say more.

the All Might Agency tiktok is a gem of content

the social media take-over that was a one and done because why the hell did they ever trust derecho to make family appropriate content when she swears like a sailor, and then an audio clip of her going “this would be solved a lot quicker if all might had a gun” during a hostage crisis goes viral

those romantic edits to the arctic monkeys that are just all their tender eye contact gala moments stitched together

the shipping wars. all might x derecho vs. endeavor x derecho because they interacted ONCE and the internet went insane over the way derecho sized him up (read judgmental elevator eyes) on live television.

derecho’s anon private twitter where she leaves hate comments under endeavor news stories

— a reference to this fic here ;

[total-drama-brainrot]

Thinking about the fake dating AU again. 🤯

What if, during his segment on the Aftermath, Noah plays off his 'cheating' as something so emotionally detached it makes him look almost psychopathic, in an attempt to make himself as unlikable as possible?

The 'cheating' was simply strategic, is all. It wasn't his fault the two of them had to go and catch real feelings; Noah was just playing the game. Nothing more.

What? You thought he had feelings for them? Don't be ridiculous, Noah felt nothing for either of them- they were just there to carry him through the competition.

(He doesn't anticipate the ache that twists through his chest after that statement. It isn't true in the slightest, yet even just pretending to not care about his partners is physically painful.)

At first, both Geoff and Blaineley commend him for enacting some long overdue karma/vengeance on the antagonistic duo, but the more Noah intentionally digs himself into a hole- the more hateable he makes himself- the more people actually begin to pity both Heather and Alejandro. Which was the plan from the beginning, so Noah fully commits to it, playing off every interaction as just another cog in his manipulation machine; he's the 'High IQ', after all, of course he planned it all.

And he hides the nausea writhing in his gut from the blatant lies he's sprouting under a carefully blank, uncaring mask of indifference. Every claim he makes is said in the most casual tone- as if he's commenting on the weather instead of admitting to masterminding the heartbreak of two strong competitors- and that's somehow worse than if he would at least seem smug about his achievement. Because at least then he'd (appear to) care.

So, when the Aftermath finally ends, Noah becomes persona non grata. No one wants to even look at him- who knew the little snark could be so ruthless? So uncaring?

And Noah, knowing that he can't confide in Owen (who can't keep a secret to save his life) or Izzy (who's too unpredictable to trust- and who also 'leaked' fake information about him to Sierra during her time on Celebrity Manhunt, so who knows what else she's leak?) turns to his friend Eva, who promptly decks him in the face.

"I'm not friends with cheaters."

And when he tries to explain himself, clutching at his quickly bruising face and hoping that she'll see reason or at the very least afford him some decency, she throws his actions back in his face (actions have always spoken louder than words with Eva). Claiming that, if he's willing to lead on two people romantically, who's to say he isn't also faking their friendship? How can she trust anything that comes out of his slimy mouth?

It hurts. Every accusation is like a wave of searing heat against his already blistered heart, and yet Eva's eyes are so cold as she looks at Noah like he's the scum beneath her shoes.

So he flees to his hotel room.

And, for the first time in years, he weeps.

.

Given the informative finale of World Tour, the Aftermath crew were given the go-ahead to host one last hurrah, to properly question their finalists about their scheme, and to clear Noah's name.

Their audience was practically frothing at the mouth for an update.

During their interview segment, Blaineley (in an attempt to stir up some drama- she's always endeavouring to stay on brand after all) plays clips of Noah's callous 'confessions' on his Aftermath segment post-elimination, hoping to cause some trouble in paradise for the lovely throuple by sewing the seeds of doubt in their minds.

To her surprise, both Heather and Alejandro start laughing at the clips as if they're the funniest thing they've ever seen, huddling closer to Noah as they poke and tease him. Noah, in turn, sinks in unto himself, red-faced and mortified.

"What? How can you be alright with him saying that?" Cries Blaineley, scandalised that her attempt at brewing tension somehow didn't work.

"Because he does not mean it." Alejandro explains. To his side, Heather nods in agreement.

"How can you be so sure?"

Heather points to the screen, where past Noah is lying his ass off for the world to see, stoic save for the barely noticable twitching of his fingers and the occasional jump of his leg.

"He's lying through his teeth! It's so obvious- you weren't even trying to hide your tells, and after all the practice we did!"

"I didn't need to. Neither of you were there to call me out on the bluff."

[0little-miss-scare-all0]

Stuffed animals I think Dethklok would give each other

Not trying to infantilize, they all get them those fuckin man babies.

Probably cringe but I could care less honestly 😭

Not proofread suck a fart

Nathan

Pickles gets him a whale. It's a reference to the whale he'll see so maybe next time he can relate it to his stuffed animal and not worry. They also stand for strength, which adds to the overall meaning of getting over fears.

Murderface would get him a lion. He says it's a jab at how much of a perfectionist he needs to be to be proud of his work. They're also just hella fucking brutal. Lions for the win

Skwisgaar would get him some type of fish. It doesn't matter which one, just whichever he finds first. They won't be very big, just little plushies.

Toki would get him a German Shepherd. He thinks it's a cool dog and I like to think it's Nathan's favorite. He would probably get the black ones to match Nathan's hair. He likes how they're actually cute but look brutal.

Charles isn't a big giver, especially with stuffed animals. If he finds one of those brutally cute things like the baphomet plushies he'll get them. Other than that, he's just too busy to look for insanely interesting ones.

Skwisgaar

Nathan would get him that alien plush from Ikea. I don't know why that was the first thing I thought of, but it was. It's called like Aftonsparv I think. They just both find it chucklesome.

Pickles would get him a wolf. I like to think that he just obsesses over wolves sometimes and Pickles feels the need to add fuel to fire.

Murderface would get him an arctic fox. He likes to say that Skwisgaar is from the North Pole up with "Santy Claus". He also just likes them.

Toki would get him a polar bear. I just think that everyone collectively thinks that Skwisgaar is an arctic man. He's pale and has ice blue eyes so it makes sense to me.

Toki

Nathan would get him a bunny because it's his spirit animal. (Ie. The episode they aired Bloodlines, I can never remember the name)

Pickles would get him little sharks. Think Blåhaj and things related. He just thinks they're cute and Toki loves them.

Murderface would get him a tiger. He says it's better because it's like a house cat but metal. Toki would argue that house cats are quite metal, but to no avail.

Skwisgaar would get him big octopuses. He would either say it was the Kraken or Cthulhu. Whichever he felt like it being.

Pickles

Nathan would get him just that. Pickles. It would be like the Cat v Pickle plushies and if it was a cat he'd just give it to Toki or something. He thinks it's the funniest shit ever

Murderface would get him an orca. They're hella brutal and he thinks it's funny that they're actually dolphins (don't fact check me i'm pretty sure that's true)

Toki is getting him dolphins. They're the shark and dolphin duo and it's so fun. It's a gag at this point, they'll buy each other the ugliest ones.

Skwisgaar would give him a frog. He just think it fits Pickles's vibe and appearance. Not to say he's an ugly frog.

Murderface

Nathan would get him a pig. At first it seems like a jab at him, but pigs are cute! They're also known to be smart and clean, at least from what a teacher told me once.

Pickles would get him those plushies of his favorite chip bags because they're just so fun. they also crinkle because why wouldn't they.

Toki would get him lions because they're also brutal cats and he thinks he should get the same thing. Also he needs some strength in his life the poor guy.

Skwisgaar would get him a manatee. It's just an ongoing joke since the events of Doublebookedklok. They giggle about it when they get too high sometimes.

Charles

He's the gifter this time

He hates when the guys get him things because he thinks they should use their money on "more useful" things.

He'll get Nathan those Baphomet plushies. They don't have to be generally big, but if he sees one he'll get it.

Pickles would get a horse or two from him. Specially the white and black ones, considering those are the most metal horses.

Murderface would get a wrench from this son of a bitch. Not a real one like a stuffed one I hope that was clear. I think they'd both giggle a little bit.

He's also a Toki cat giver. Specifically Calico cats. If he finds one that looks like Really Cool Cat then he'll get it for sentiment.

He'll get Skwisgaar an owl. He thinks it matches him and is majestic like he is, while still kind of creepy. Also spirit animal mention.

That's it I hope you fucks enjoyed <33

[alittlebitofloveliness]

Angela and Steve Friendship Headcanons

The duo you never knew you needed

-They both think they’re better than everyone, are used to being the sensible one in their friend group, and hate everything. In short they’re- as Ponyboy and Curly say- 'a match made in hell by the devil himself JeSUS Christ’

-Angela thinks Steve is hilarious and he thinks she’s wicked clever

-Steve doesn’t much like Curly, and Angela doesn’t much like Sodapop or Ponyboy which is the biggest source of tension in their friendship. They’re still weirdly close though? It’s strange

-Steve taught Angela how to hotwire a car and she used her newfound knowledge to steal Tim’s truck once. Tim was FURIOUS but Sylvia thought it was hilarious, and ever since Angela does it whenever she’s bored or mad at Tim

-Whenever Angela is at a party and sick of getting hit on she’ll go attach herself to Steve’s arm. There’s nothing romantic between them, and Steve Randle isn’t exactly known for being a lady’s man, but it’s a real good way to get creeps and over eager admirers to leave her the fuck alone when she doesn’t feel like stabbing somebody

-Sylvia and Steve absolutely despise each other. Angela could not care less.

-Angela can drink Steve under the table and it annoys him to no end. Almost every time he sees her he challenges her to a drink off, and every time Soda ends up having to practically carry him home, while Angela stumbles a bit but is generally fine. No one knows how it happens, since by body mass alone Steve should be able to drink three times what Angela can without breaking a sweat

-Their height difference is absolutely comical. Steve is almost a foot taller than Angela

-Almost everyone calls Angela ‘Angel’ but Steve only ever uses her full name 

-Angela gave Steve a stick and poke tattoo and its his favourite one, even though he has a few that were done professionally

-Steve once called Angela to bail him out of jail when he couldn’t get ahold of Soda, and Soda lowkey never forgave him for it

-Angela and Steve have Regina George level insults for pretty much everyone in Tulsa, and are willing to fight anyone who gets mad at them for it

-The first time they ever properly hung out was when Steve and Soda were at Buck’s and some guy was hassling Angela and as they watched Angela grabbed the guy’s hair, slammed his face down on the counter, and told him she’d do more than break his giant fucking nose if he ever spoke to her again, then went back to sipping her beer, calm as ever while the guy stumbled off, blood pouring from his nose. Steve thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen and told her so, and the rest was history.

-The only time Soda and Curly get along for more than thirty seconds is when they’re plotting to drive a wedge between Steve and Angela. Their attempts never work and they always blame each other for it.

[cambrioleur]

Random observations on this season (updating)

(SPOILERS, OBVIOUSLY)

Episode 1

I don't think we've ever seen Assane do a genuine fourth-wall break before

OK so Claire has a last name now

Assane really expected that he could just show up and Claire would just fall at his feet

I'm surprised Benjamin is just allowed to continue working at his shop

This feels better-edited than Parts 1 & 2

Name a more iconic duo than Belkacem and failing constantly (she really doesn't listen, does she)

Episode 2

Philippe Courbet sighting

NEVER invite Guédira to a funeral lmaooo

Hang on I'm just now realizing that Juliette is at this funeral, too (she's standing in the second row behind Benjamin and Claire and honestly doesn't seem too upset about Assane's "death")

I like how in the flashback Babakar tells Assane that he reminds him of his mother and then it turns out she was a criminal

This seems to be around the time of Raoul's birthday again; he really can't catch a break on that

Episode 3

New shipping war just dropped: Guédira/Belkacem vs Guédira/Fleur

That bit where Claire was outright begging Benjamin to tell her Assane was alive and he couldn't...that was sad

But then it was followed by Benjamin doing the "uhh my FRIEND just died" act with Belkacem which was funny

This gang of thugs is trying a little too hard tbh

Assane's disguise in this episode is fucking terrible lol

The basketball coach disguise, on the other hand, is the only time I've genuinely thought he wasn't recognizable

Episode 4

Ironically that coach persona is probably the best parenting Assane has ever done

Claire? Doing things that are vaguely cool?? That feels illegal. Also, she looked so proud of herself for swiping that book, lol

Betraying Benjamin was certainly...a choice on Assane's part ("everyone disliked that")

This episode is going to devastate the show's Tumblr fandom

Episode 5

Assane trolling the shit out of Guédira will never not be funny

These 1998 flashbacks are pretty dark actually

Honestly the way Claire got that reveal out of Benjamin was very well-played on her part

Guédira out here looking like present-day Ringo Starr with that disguise

Aww look at Assane playing the matchmaker for Guédira and Belkacem, heh heh

This is easily one of the funniest episodes

Except Benjamin is straight up not having a good time -- it looks like he got beaten up in prison

Episode 6

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not totally sure Benjamin knows that Assane betrayed him. It's possible he just thinks that he fucked up with the bracelet and then missed a cue in the maze

"Pasta with ketchup" jesus fucking christ Claire that sounds horrendous (although I'm guessing the only reason they did that was because of the ketchup-bottle reveal)

Assane really has Claire's number because he's now seduced her twice under two different identities

IDK whether or not Raoul has figured out that the coach is his dad but it's funny that he still seemed to be shipping it either way

It's nice that we get to see Claire's more playful side in this season, like her messing with Assane by acting really flirty with "Alex" after she realizes they're the same person

INCREDIBLE casting for the younger and older versions of Keller tbh; they easily look like they could be the same person

Episode 7

What a nice family reunion...it would be a shame if something happened to it...

The flashbacks are significantly darker than the present timeline this time around

Guédira finally got to arrest Assane, good for him!

The scene at the train station with the letter from Assane to Claire sort of reminds me of the ending to A Tale of Two Cities, which I had to read for AP prep a while back

Oh look, Hubert Pellegrini is back

So they're CLEARLY setting up another season with this ending

The choice of people to show on the montage there was interesting, lol

I could see a Juliette antagonist arc happening tbh

Maybe Assane's mom isn't all she seems either

And what about Benjamin? If he turns against Assane the viewers are going to lose their minds

[noahspaperairplane]

Can we do CG Heather and tiny Sierra headcannons??

oh DEFINITELY i love this duo so much

heather:

found out sierra regressed after a rough challenge probs and had to hide her somewhere so she could ask what was going on, and she did give enough of an explanation for her to understand. she thought it was a bit weird at first but she came around eventually

i feel like she’d be a helicopter type mother. she’s checking on sierra every two seconds to make sure she’s doing fine. (the worst that happens is probably a glitter glue spill)

i don’t think she’d be too strict but she’d have like a set bedtime, which sierra is not going to stay up past no matter how much she begs. okay maybe once or twice but that was different

i think she wouldn’t be too big on giving pet names/nicknames, but she’s cool with receiving them. she finds it adorable

doesn’t really trust having others to babysit, even when sierra pinky swears she’ll be fine having like gwen over or smth. (i think she’d be alright with supervised playdates though, probably with the other members of team amazon.)

she can be surprisingly sweet when it comes to regressors, the motherly instinct takes over whatever malice is in her heart

“if ANYONE even looks at her wrong, you are NOT leaving unscathed. you got that?”

-

sierra:

regresses from ages 3-9, mostly around 4-6.

wouldn’t be the clingiest little but still enjoys giving and receiving affection. she probably gives tight hugs and then sleeps on your lap like a cat when you have to pee

definitely enjoys doing arts and crafts with heather. yes with the pink glitter glue. she’s a little artist and heather tells her she’s so proud and puts her drawings up on the fridge with magnets. if sierra hasn’t done that first

i honestly think it’d be funny to have her call heather “auntie” as a callback to condor, so maybe i’ll add that in too

“NO CODY JR!! NOT AUNTIE HEATHER!!”

she would knock over glasses and cups like a cat at times and she thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. heather does NOT agree with her on that. (on the topic of glasses i feel like she’d enjoy sugary drinks and sugar in general. how that affects bedtime, who knows.) also she’d use those silly straws

she’d be big on playing pretend methinks. roleplayer at work here. acting out whole dramas with some random barbies

i feel like she would also have an absurd amount of stuffed animals. mostly gifts from others, some she probably snuck into the cart while heather went out to get boring grown up stuff at boring grown up stores and heather couldn’t bring herself to turn her down.

-

okay enough of the wabadabadabadaba they’re silly billies

[evolutionsvoid]

A notable character from a dream a while back that really stuck with me, so I just had to draw her and regale ya'll with the whole thing. I remember the dream fondly because A) it actually had like a coherent story and some neat encounters and B) it wasn't just horrific things happening to my body. So here we go, it's a long one!

The dream I had put in me in Japan, in a place where there was an insane amount of buildings and businesses, the whole place was jam packed, to the point where pretty much every place was the size of a single room and interconnected with the other businesses around them. I remember there being a tiny restaurant that served buns, and five feet away from your table was a sign and door for a pawnshop. Cramped movie theaters connected to weird art rooms, where colors flowed over wall, floor and ceiling. The setting was modern, with a touch of extra future. Made me think of those future overpopulated cities where everything and everyone is stacked atop one another. (The reason I think it was set in Japan is because my sister was currently there for her honeymoon. In fact, I recall seeing them there at the hot bun restaurant.)

As for me, the character I was was traveling through the city in secret with an older raggedy man who was like a mentor to me. Like your typical duo of lowlifes, where he was the tired, run ragged man who has seen it all, and I was the naive younger fellow that he had taken under his wing. We were moving through the city, for what reason I don't know, but it was obvious that we were trying to lay low. This particular city was currently occupied by two major gangs who were locked in an endless power struggle. I don't recall the name of these criminal organizations, but I did know who ran each. One side was run by someone called Lord Hollow, and the other was King Consort. Each side wanted full rule of this city, but they couldn't ever get the momentum to run the other side out. This led to frequent skirmishes between the two, which the people were so used to they never even batted an eye. (Funny enough, right before bed that night I was playing Dishonored 2 and the level I ended on literally had two gangs locked in a power struggle.)

For the people in the city, these fights were hardly a concern, more of an annoyance and sometimes a spectacle. People just moved on with their day, because these two had been going at each other for so long with no progress, that everyone knew nothing would change. While we were weaving between businesses and buildings, we witnessed two groups of effigies moving through the neon-soaked building that had been sent out by Lord Hollow for a hit. Each had the crowd parting ways to let them through, not out of fear, but more knowing to let them pass and that is how these things got over the fastest. The first group that we saw were human statues carved out of wood. They had a dark color them and a clear stain, and they were a mix of effigy and human, almost anatomically correct, but with some simplicities and odd runic flares. I recall that the way that they were carved, with the clear finish making their grain stand out boldly, it looked like these statues were flayed. They slid across the floor silently, with a few arms and legs moving slowly and uselessly. Despite their looks, everyone knew they were out to off someone working for King Consort.

The other group of effigies were also carved out of wood, dark wood again, but these were shaped to look like movie monsters. They weren't full standing, but more curled in a ball form, like what you would see if you caught one in a pokeball. I recall seeing one that was carved to look like the Creature from the Black Lagoon and a Frankenstein's Monster. The funniest line I remember from the dream was from the crowd watching these things slide by, as one unseen person said aloud: "Oh look, they have a Bagul!" (that is the demon from the Sinister movies)

We stayed back and let them pass by, as we wanted to keep out of sight. What I later picked up on from my mentor is that he was on the run from King Consort, having done something to screw that mob boss over. He had been running and hiding for years, but for some reason he had to come back to this city now, and thus was in danger. I don't know why we were there, but it was obvious we had to keep our head down. However, eventually, I got separated from him in the tetris-like layout of these endless interconnecting buildings. I remember running around trying to find him, but wound up getting super lost. Unsurprisingly, when we got separated, King Consort's men nabbed my mentor and made off with him. I don't recall how I learned this, but I immediately ran out to find him.

The only thing I thought to do was go to King Consort's headquarters, as obviously my mentor would be taken there. Funny enough, I recall it being equally cramped and claustrophobic, as even these powerful gangs couldn't get that expansive of real estate. Though I came to this place as a stranger and outsider, no one gave me any guff. None of the guards or members were hostile to me, as they knew I wasn't with Lord Hollow and King Consort seemed to have no animosity towards those who weren't actively working against them. I was let in, and I demanded to see the King, which they took me to. King Consort was at the top of a weird medieval esque tower cobbled from bricks and rusty metal shacks, and that too was incredibly tight space wise. I remember climbing stairs with practically both shoulders touching the walls. Which made it odd when I got up top to the open air area atop the tower and finally saw King Consort.

King Consort was about 8 to 10 feet tall, and as wide as a car, so how they moved down these stairs was a mystery. But the thing was, King Consort wasn't a person, they were pretty much a mech. Or more so, she was a mech. Her appearance was the cross between a heavily armored woman and a fortress, mechanized into this living weapon systems. She was mostly red with gold trim. Her head had a crown-like arrangement, and sitting amongst the spires of it was a very small being who was dressed in kingly robes, wore a crimson featureless mask, a crown of his own and a royal scepter he waved around. Though I couldn't see much of him beneath this mask and robes, I got the impression he was a robot too. From his sitting point, the wild gestures and scepter waving he did, one would get the impression that he was ordering around this bulky mech. But what I soon realized is that the mech was King Consort and the little king atop really wasn't in charge.

King Consort appeared to be almost built into the tower itself, her huge bulk nearly crushing the metal and brick around her. However, when I finally got to the top to meet her, she was starting to become mobile, tearing free from her surroundings and standing tall. I later got the impression that my mentor had stolen or ran off with some key component to her, which left her in a powered down immobile state. My first thought was that he had been hired by her to fetch this piece that would bring her to full function, but changed his mind upon getting it and fled. They had caught him, tortured him then imprisoned him, and I never saw him again for the rest of the dream. With the part finally given back to her, she was now fully active, and her first order of business was to finish off this feud with Lord Hollow. Though I had been an associate of the man who robbed her, she had no ill will towards me, pretty  much shouldering past me on her way down the tower with an aura of "sorry you picked the wrong guy to follow." It should be noted that she never spoke during the dream, and I wonder if she was even capable of speech, getting the impression the king guy atop did all the translating and talking.

How she got down at such a size, I have no clue, but I remember following her and her posse as they gathered up to take down Lord Hollow's operations. When we finally got there, we were now in a train rail yard, with abandoned train cars strewn about and some building in the center where Lord Hollow resided. His men and effigies came racing out to stop King Consort and her men, but she activated her weapons system and pretty much decimated them. There was zero fight to be had. I don't even remember her men doing a thing to help, she was just obliterating everyone who came out to face her.

Finally, Lord Hollow came out from the building, and he was revealed to be pretty much the Headless Horseman. He wore a haunted looking garb, like a mix of warlock robes and a business suit. He had the pumpkin head with toothy, evil glowing face but the head was much larger than the rest of his body, like it stretched to his shoulders and was more flatter than round. When he came out, I got the impression he was a magic man, and this was a case of tech vs magic (obviously seen in his living wood effigies). He appeared to be a formidable opponent, but with King Consort at full power, he was helpless. He tried to run from her as soon as he realized the battle was lost, but she didn't let him get away. She single handedly grabbed a train car and rammed it into him, crushing him between two cars. (Though he died like a videogame NPC, staying fully intact but ragdolling as he was pinned between the two objects). With Lord Hollow down, his gang was finished and King Consort claimed victory.

I either blacked out or forgot what happened between, but I found myself at a bar the next morning. I was amongst other patrons at the bar, who were watching the TV and chatting about the power upset. Both were about King Consort completely taking over the city, ruling unopposed. It was from the broadcast that it was confirmed that King Consort was the mech and not the tiny king riding in her crown. I recall seeing an image of her deconstructed, where only her upper half was present, standing on her arms as her ribcage ended in nothing. I believe it was a photo from when she was building her body. From the way people were talking, her gaining her full power was pretty much a disastrous upset. As someone said "She is ruling this city now, but forget that, it won't be long til she's ruling the world." The funny detail I remember was I chimed in confused at some point, because I didn't know how to interpret her gender. "So King Consort, should I call them he, she or they?" As I was thrown off by the mech woman and little king guy atop her, not knowing which to refer to. The reply was "Her. She's a woman." And I was like "good to know, thanks."

The last bit I remember from the dream was trying to find my mentor again, as I somehow knew he wasn't dead, just imprisoned. So I went back to King Consort's base to sneak in and break him out. Though everyone had no issue with me, I kept hidden and tried to stealth around the place, as I knew my mission wouldn't be well received. To figure out where my mentor was being held, I wound up sneaking into King Consort's maintenance room, and accidentally finding she was currently in there getting tuned up. I didn't see her, as I was still near the entrance hiding behind a wall, but I could see the light of sparks flickering and the shadow of mechanical arms working and welding. At that point, a guard came in through the front doors and spotted me, and the dream ends with me being caught. And that is that!

------------------------------------------

"King Consort"

This piece took me a long time to get around too, as I never draw tech stuff and am actually pretty bad at it, so I was hesitant to even start this drawing to begin with. But honestly, out of all the weird stuff in that dream, she stuck out a lot to me, and I kinda keep thinking about her from time to time. Partly because of her design, and also just because of the untold story surrounding her. Of how she wound up in that tower in a powered down and trapped state, unable to even move her own body. Leading one of the most powerful gangs, but not having the energy to even lift a finger. Relying on this little king guy to listen to the hum of her tired engines and sounds of her barely powered machinery to interpret her words and wants, who then relays it to her gang members. The vision of her stuck atop that tower, trapped in her own body, exposed to the elements and looking out over a city she should be able to claim as hers, but cannot in this weakened state. I think there is something neat there.

And also the moment the dream was over, I knew her design was Basically a mecha version of Hammer-chan.

[canarydarity]

time for more worm baseball au brainrot!! just needed to come over here and shower you with more compliments on chapter 2 <33

Just a quick question, who all is on the Yankees, and are there familiar faces on Grian’s team in Chicago or is it just him and them Scar?

Hiii cloudy 🤠🤠!! Woohooo im glad its being enjoyed !!!

Okay so. I'm going to say way too much in response to this now <3

So this is...currently the Yankees line-up:

Jimmy, number 7, Right fielder

Joel, number 25, Catcher

Skizz, uhh didn't assign him a number, First base

Zedaph, 12, Second base

Bigb, 2, Third base

Scott, 5, Shortstop

Pixlriffs, 14, Left fielder

Fwhip, uhh didn't assign him a number, Pitcher

and in typing this out, I realize I just never assigned anyone center field. so thats absolutely hysterical, NO idea whos manning that position. Baseball teams usually have around 26 players, but only 9 play the field at a time so thats really all I was worried about!

and then, of course, we have Tango working as an analyst for the team, Impulse as the coach, and Bdubs and Etho as announcers!

The first thing I wrote for this fic is in the last chapter, back when this au was a single scene rather than a whole chaptered guy, and its something that needed quite a lot of people. And since it was just a SCENE at the time I sort of just. plucked random life series and empires cast members from my brain that I could SEE playing baseball. which is so funny to me. Cause now its this and the cast is genuinely sort of random, but also makes sense. To Me.

As for the CUBS!

So, that also did not start as a story, that just started as background for Jimmy's plot. Grian was Jimmy's brother and he's a pitcher for a rival team, and I just picked the Cubs completely randomly. I was originally going to have Scar be in This Fic, but then because I couldn't leave things well enough alone...I said....well what if desert duo offshoot...what if there's one story for each brother. And by THAT time...I had already filled out a LOT of the Yankees cast and was like "well, oops."

There are definitely other recognizable names on the desert duo side though! but I will say, that one is as of right now much much much less fleshed out. The Cubs lineup will likely include many other hermits, such as Iskall, Rendog, Keralis, Doc, joehills (I think he'd be a fascinatingly confusing announcer), Beef—etc! Like I said, it's currently not really planned :) but thats the idea for if it ever becomes A Thing.

What is planned is that Grian (number 16) is the pitcher , Scar is the catcher, and then because it was too absolutely ironic to NOT make happen. I did make cubfan135 the coach of the chicago cubs. A decision I both vehemently hate and absolutely adore. When talking about grians plot and going "cub has to be there" my brain went now hold on a second...cubfan....his name can't possibly refer to the baseba—oh look at that. it does. and ta-da I couldn't NOT do the funniest thing ever in this universe.

Mumbo will also absolutely be there because he can't not be. but my brain refuses to picture mumbo jumbo playing baseball so he just. he. i have no idea what he will be doing But He'll Be There. Trust Me.

Anyway Ive rambled quite enough :)) I hope that answers your question !!!

[bestnarutoduo]

Propaganda

Gaara & Kankuro

They’re the best brothers

Kankuro is quite literally helping Gaara raise his kid

First and last interaction in the anime are with each other

during the attack to the Gokage meeting that they went through, at the hands of Sasuke and Tobi/Obito, Kankuro is the first person Gaara calls to for help.

Gaara is the one who vouched for Kankuro to be put in charge of the surprise attack division in the war arc

Kankuro did pretty much save the village from a guy who hated Gaara

Kankuro attempted to fight two different old men on two different occasions, for the mere fact that they disrespected Gaara

Even after Kankuro was poisoned and legit unconscious, he could still be heard muttering his brother’s name in his unconsciousness.

best fraternal duo in the entire show

Kakashi & Gai

Long complicated history of pushing eachother forward.

Help each other improve

Look out for each other

Being loyal friends

Kicking ass through hard work

Aren't predetermined to be rivals/friends but are anyways

Have some of the best coordinated fights

Trust each other implicitly

Funniest pair in the whole show

Goofiest idiots ever <3

Best battle couple yet also rivals

Would die for each other

The time Gai carried Kakashi back to Konoha from suna

Still bopping around together in old age

Good for each other platonically and romantically

Wholesome

[eggsploded]

fausto for the ask thing...... the girl herself

butterflaust :)

first impression: you really get the feeling that she fucking hates you. shes rly funny cuz shes the tutorial character but doesnt leave after the prologue. shes here forever, judging dante. i feel in the beginning i skimmed over all the nuance in her dialogue assuming its just wordy for the sake of wordiness.

current impression: faust is soooo... faust. upon replaying the prologue shes way less cold than i first thought, her little c: smile when talking about mephis was saur cute. in fact shes not really cold at all to me, simply operating in a faustly way. you can contextualize what she does as a way to keep herself occupied. not really for some deeper lore sense (because ionno what her deal is) but a bitch needs some stimuli. i think if she was made to do arts and crafts with no larger purpose outside of fun she would explode into blood and gore. it also makes her friendship with yi sang really funny because i wonder if she cares to understand his artsy spech past it being a little clever wordplay. if he made her a drawing she wouldnt know how to compliment it outside of a technical sense. her flavor of arrogance is also so funny to me because its so stupid? like when rodya complimented her and she puffed up and went faust Is cool. the speaking in 3rd person too is funny, knowing she isnt LARPing like don and is very much just Like That. theres alot about herself she either doesnt notice or simply does not want to examine deeply like her mild competitiveness or tendency to manipulate people if it means theyll be less annoying to her. simply the faust of all time

favorite moment: i think the sweetest and funniest thing was realizing her spiel about yi sang not being a genius Unlike Her and believing in more philosophical things unlike her Sensible and Tactile self was an attempt at a COMPLIMENT. i thought she was ripping him to shreds but no she was actually hyping him up a bit in the most clinical way possible

story idea: you know earlier when i said making faust attempt creative expression would cause her to explode into bits? well i want to see it anyway. im forcing her at the kindergarten table of that nasty smelling homemade playdoh and telling her to make a new animal. sinclair made a bear with with wings called a beear. very nice young man.

fav relationships: im enjoying the fandom divide with faust shipping where she is either getting bitches left and right and not giving a fuck to maintain them (because it comes out weird when she tries) or not even being aware of when shes down bad and having the primal part of her brain that tells her to bite and roll around hijack her motherboard. shes being corroded by an insidious EGO called... horny, different to lust, which is Krausts jam. i already wrote a little bit about fausang and i think fausts inability to know how to enjoy things makes them a very sweet duo. in her mind the guy doesnt come a lick close to her own brilliance, but something about how he closes his eyes in understanding speaks more words than compliments do. not to say that faust doesnt like being hyped up. because she does, like all the time. if they were walking she wouldve tripped when rodya called her babe. her greatest flaw is pretending shes above anything, if there was a chance to maul ryoshu she would without pausing. probably so turned on she cant see anything. ishmael too. also outis. hey, whats going on here? my sources tell me due to her ongoing opposites to yi sang she is incapable of a domestic lame marriage the way he is. ishmael is the yuri messiah, but faust is the yuri menace. you know what they are both capable of though? following rodya around enamored because that was the first pet name theyve ever been called and it felt Funny.

fav headcanon: in the newest credits cg for canto 4 i think shes telling vergil she has a tummyache

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Captain Underpants: The Epic First Movie

So I have to admit, Captain Underpants is yet another thing I didn't engage with as a child. I remember the books being around when I was a kid, but I was too busy being obsessed with Disney Princesses and Barbie to really care. So as my first exposure to this property, how does it hold up?

We focus on best friends Harold and George, who spend their days writing and drawing the "Captain Underpants" comics about a underwear-clad superhero's epic adventures. Those adventures find their way into reality when they accidentally hypnotize their strict principle Krupp into thinking he is Captain Underpants. While fun at first, danger is thrown into the mix with the arrival of Professor Poopypants, who seeks to rid the entire world of laughter.

So yeah, this movie is really silly, but I think it works in its favor? Like, it's probably the most meta Dreamworks movie ever, like no joke Harold and George break the fourth wall constantly ala Emperor's New Groove and it's actually pretty funny in that reguard? The humor overall is pretty sharp, spare for a few obvious potty jokes (I mean, the bad guy's name is Poopypants). But even then they didn't really bother me that much because, well, this movie is just... charming? Its sharply written and a silly little romp that knows exactly what it is and doesn't strain itself trying to be anything more (unlike Boss Baby before it).

The characters here are all pretty fun. George and Harold make a great dynamic duo and they play off each other really well. Our titual captain is expectedly silly and humorously emptyheaded, but he steals the show whenever he's on screen. We start the movie off thinking Krupp will be the antagonist, and he's delightfully cruel and unhinged. Even more unhinged though, is our villain. Professor Poopypants may just be one of the funniest Dreamworks baddies yet. He just plays the insane supervillain trope so well and he gets some of the funniest jokes in the entire movie as a result.

I think what really charmed me about this movie, however, was the way it looks. I am highkey OBSESSED with how stylized this movie is! It matches the vibes of the books perfectly and does it so well. The colors all pop, the simple character designs just work, and the animation is so smooth and fluid and fast-paced with some really great work when it comes to character expressions, which is impressive given the fact that all of the characters have dots for eyes.

So yeah, overall this is a pretty simple movie, but a really fun little romp! I appreciate that it really doesn't try to be more than it is, doesn't try to phone in some fake emotions or a pointless message. It exists to be silly and over the top and ridiculous and it does a pretty solid job at that! As an epic first adventure, I can safely say I hope it ends up being the start of several more.

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Get flushed down the Turbo Toilet 200

Previous Review (The Boss Baby)

Next Review (How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World)

[darlin-djarin]

Hiya! I've been lowkey stalking ur blog for the last few weeks bcs i recently got rllllllly into dinluke and saw ur recent post about fic, so now I'm wondering if you have any reccs (dinluke ofc)?! I like ur content and read ur tags so I'd say our taste in fic probably overlaps. Hope you have a nice day!! 🌻

hey!! and yeah i’ve got a few fics that i think a lot of dinlukers might like

first let me link @transmascskywalker's list because that’s where i started out originally!!

now as for my fic recs~

some of these fics might overlap, i’m just putting down the ones i loved most. i’m sure i’ve read tons more but these are the ones i found that you can busy yourself with :)

The Storm by shirozora

Din Djarin needs a new ship.

Greef Karga makes him a deal - do some work for the guild and he'll get a brand new gunship. One such job takes him to a planet with a volatile storm system to track down a double-crossing bounty hunter. What he doesn't know is that the bounty hunter is there to loot an ancient Jedi temple. What neither of them know is that someone else is also on the planet searching for the temple.

And then the storm rolls in.

in-universe

sfw

multichapter/parts

my comfort fic btw ^^ i’ve read it so many times

Mystery Man by snapdragonpop007

Luke is seeing someone, apparently.

And really, it’s none of Anakin’s business.

Really.

modern au

sfw

multichapter/parts

one of the best, funniest fics i’ve ever read ^^

Unfold by SilverScriptings

Han can’t help but be suspicious of a certain Mandalorian who’s been spending an awful lot of time at the Jedi Temple…

in-universe

sfw

multichapter/parts

A Little Farther Down the Line by Chromat1cs

Austin, Texas, 1973. Din Djarin plays the guitar, worries about his kid, and runs aimlessly from a past that pulled the roof down around his ears. When a stunningly-talented duo of up-and-coming performers turns Din’s plans of being a simple session musician clear on their head, Din must decide between the safety of mundanity or the unlooked-at thrill of following his heart lest the tape run out on this track of his life before he’s through recording it.

modern (1970’s) au

nsfw

multichapter

the warmest bed i’ve ever known by ceedawks

pre-original series, din djarin is injured on a remote planet and found by an incessantly chatty farm boy named luke skywalker || i won't ask you to wait, if you don't ask me to stay || aka "making out with hot farm boys doesn't count as breaking the creed if he's blindfolded during it".

pre-ANH/meet on tatooine au (in-universe)

nsfw

multichapter

We Two Scorched the Earth by annathaema (moony)

That left Luke with a much bigger problem: The Sand People knew he was here, they’d likely sabotaged or stolen the speeder by now, and he was stranded in a cave with nothing but a rifle with three rounds left, a survival pack good for only a couple of days, and no transport home. Great. Luke leaned against the wall of the cave and tipped his head back, thumping the back of it against the stone over and over. He closed his eyes and wished for rescue.

Someone groaned.

pre-ANH/meet on tatooine au (in-universe)

nsfw

oneshot

Never leaving well enough alone by DarkIsRising

or Five Times Din and Luke Met (and one time they never parted)

He’s drunk, and he isn’t quite sure how that happened. That’s not true, Luke does remember vaguely how it happened, more or less, and it all started with Han.

in-universe

nsfw

multichapter

Yoda’s Academy for Li’l Padawans by MissDinahDarling

Being a new student is hard.

Being a new student whilst your socially awkward father avoids the school at all costs and your new teacher pines uselessly over a man he’s never met before is even worse.

But by god, Grogu is gonna get through this.

modern au

sfw

multichapter

Just Like Heaven by Kushana

At first, he watches.

Then, he touches.

in-universe

sfw (both aroace ^^)

oneshot

Romance As a Series of Debacles by The SexierEvilerCora

Han stumbles on a golden opportunity to make life difficult for Boba Fett, and drags Luke along as backup to crash a Mandalorian party.

Things do not go as planned for anyone involved.

modern au

nsfw

it’s unfinished with only one chapter but it’s still worth the read

Honey Lemon Popsicle by coffeecatsme

“Good morning,” Luke chirps, not even looking up from the stove, “my honey bunches of oats.”

Din blinks several times, trying to get his muscles to unfreeze, and opens his mouth.

Then closes it.

Then opens it again. “What did you just call me?”

5 times Luke calls Din increasingly weird pet names, and 1 time he finds out Din likes it.

modern au

sfw

oneshot

Restraint and Relaxation by Aureutr_Accoredge

Queen Amidala is sick of watching her son run himself ragged for every good cause he finds. When he collapses at his sister's engagement gala, it is the last straw.

Luke balks, so she summons one of her Mandalorian Knights to take him to the family's lakeside villa to make him rest.

By any means necessary

in-universe

nsfw

oneshot (v good ^^)

these are all the ones i recommend for now! i’ve read other really good fics, but these ones ^^ are the ones i’ve found myself return to at least one way or the other.

please let me know if you're looking for something more specific as well!! i'll do my best to find something for your tastes

[stillthe1]

you KNOW it's going to be 8 and 18 combined for charlos. mwah. love ya ❤️

from these prompts, ask whatever u want and I'll do it 🩷🩷🩷

did it. hope YOU ARE HAPPY. 1500k of charlos. nsfw.

It was Carlos’ home race, and he had won. Fuckin’ finally, right?

The streets of Barcelona were alive, filled with people still celebrating the win from Barça, even though it had been weeks already. There were people dressed with Ferrari colors, too, and that made his heart stutter on his chest. A beautiful reminder.

He did it, won in Spain and took the glory. Max had to retire from the race, and Carlos saw his chance. Montmeló had always been bittersweet for him, the pressure almost creating claws across his shoulders. 

It makes him think of Charles. As anything does these days. Charles Marc Hervé Perceval Leclerc, and what was that name? Who named their kid like that?

Well, in Carlos' head it makes sense. They knew they were naming a legend, il predestinato, the apple of everyone’s eyes or however the saying goes. The thing is, Carlos has won, he’s drunk and, predictably, he’s thinking about Charles.

It’s not weird, he tells himself, it’s not weird at all. Charles just has something about him that keeps everyone hooked, from higher-ups to their fellow drivers, to the fans to every girl that stumbles onto his life. 

It’s not jealousy, he does not need that type of devotion, does not need to have everyone at his beck and call. But, would it be that bad if it was Charles? 

Would it make it better if he could kiss Charles after one of the monegasque’s wins, and drink the glory from his lips? 

Sometimes Charles has the annoying ability to appear when you think about him, like that goddamned Bloody Mary. It’s scary, but an old joke across the drivers. 

Suddenly, there’s a french-accented voice whispering in his ear, and he has to steel himself. Que cabronazo, joder. He should come with a warning level – or many, really – “caution, sneaky little shit that enjoys hiding behind his good boy persona! don’t fall for it! sponsored by Max Verstappen and the inchident!”

“Hello, Carlitos. Havin’ some fun, huh?” Charles’ mocking tone could be heard from fucking Monaco itself, and ugh. Imbécil. “How does victory taste? Especially since it’s your own home race…”

Like you. Let me taste you too–

Fuck, the alcohol his friends had thrown into his hands (and mouth) had no registered ‘til now, and his tongue feels loosened enough to make him shudder. Maybe it will all unravel here.

He stabs his drink with the red straw, because of fucking course. Everything is red now, the straw, the blinding lights dancing across the club, Charles’ lips. The red string that had tied them from Sauber and McLaren into the incessant torture of Ferrari, too.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, cariño?” He smirks, voice dripping with a sickly sweet condescending tone. Carlos doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he cannot stop his train of thought, even though it’s mean as fuck. “It has never happened to you, no? Keep chasing it, Charlie.”

He leaves Charles with that, walking away from him. It’s his night, his glory and his moment. And if he moves his hips slowly to the music while walking to the other side of the room, well, no one could blame him.

Funnily enough, he finds Lando, Max and Daniel drinking the night away. 

They are always the funniest trio. Lando who is always in his own world, showing off his new mixes to anyone that ever hints to it, and the so-called Maxiel duo (sue him, it’s funny) are constantly one upping each other at bursting each other’s personal bubble.

Carlos still doesn’t know if they’re dating, or if it’s just a bromance, or a bit of both? 

Something is going on with them, either way. The way Max’s eyes light up around Daniel is enough to sell the deal, and the smile Daniel saves for Max, soft around the edges, eyes shining like the prettiest stone, is enough for half of the paddock to collectively say “they’re dating, for fucking sure”, but they’ll never know.

“Carlitoooosss! Hi, hello mate!” The inimitable Aussie accent shakes him from his reverie, and he focuses on the drink Lando is pushing on his hands. 

The glass is cold, colder than any beer he has had for the past hours, and it calms him. He sniffs it, because Lando is young and way too trusting for his own good, and drinks the entire thing as soon as he smells the Jäger and Redbull combo. 

This is his night, goddamnit. No monegasque will ruin it with their pretty eyes, pretty mouth, pretty everything. No, nuh-huh. He will not think about him again.

As he opens his mouth to respond to Daniel’s enthusiastic greeting, a hand wraps around his wrist and tugs him strongly and surely towards the bathrooms. He can see Daniel’s bewildered stare, Lando’s scheming smile, and Max. Max who just mouths “good luck” to him.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck—

“Charles, what the fuck?

⋆

“What do you mean “what the fuck”, Carlitos? You really thought you could say that to me and leave me behind? For whom, the rejects trio? Oh fucking no, Carlos!” He can feel the anger build inside of him again, fueling him like it has always had. “You deserve the win, Carlos. But don’t ever say that to me, or I'll shut you the fuck up.”

Carlos looks at him with his patented confused stare, and it makes Charles want to scream. Throw something at him, maybe. He looks around the bathrooms, tries to find something to smack the life out of the spanish motherfucker–

“Oh, so you’ll shut me up? You? Fragile Leclerc? Or is that just what you play to the media, huh?” Carlos' voice is back to the condescending tone that made Charles want to punch him, kick him in the dick, and maybe kiss him a little. Fuck. “Poor Charlie, am I right? Our pathetic il predestinato!”

Charles can’t help it, cannot keep it in the back of his throat, hidden from Carlos, hidden from Ferrari, hidden from the world–

Charles fucking whimpers. He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. Fucking hell, out of all the places in the world, out of all the people in the paddock.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” His voice shakes, and he does too. He doesn’t know if it’s the humiliation, or the fact that it's Carlos. Who’s sweaty, with his fucking pretty face looking at him intently, and his prince hair sticking out in all different directions.

“Please, just shut up, Carlos.”

It comes out as a plea, more than an ask. And Charles wants to run, hide from Carlos and everyone that knows him. Wants to curl up inside a bathroom cubicle and find a bit of balance. 

Carlos never spoke back, ever. This wasn’t Charles’ cruelest work, but it seemed that with his win, he finally had something to hold above his head.

“Make me.”

And, what? 

“I said make me, Charlie. C’mon. What do you wanna do, huh? Puch me? Break my nose a bit? Leave your mark over my bod–” 

Charles doesn’t let him finish and kisses him. Right on the lips that have been torturing for years, even before Ferrari cursed them together. Charles kisses him, swallows the words out of Carlos’ lips and feels the victory flow through his veins again.

Carlos’ hands end up on his neck, holding him in place, and he can’t help but moan. Holy fuck, this was better than his dreams. The hands on his neck tighten as Carlos bites Charles’ bottom lip, taking a bit of distance. His brown eyes pierce right through the haze on Charles’ mind, and he shudders. 

Carlos is so fucking pretty. Feeling his nose across his own cheek makes Charles whimper, and he tries to break the hold on his neck, but all it does is tighten more and more. He feels lightheaded, his eyes closed and mouth open. 

“Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. Please.” 

He begs, he shakes and struggles until Carlos obeys. Their lips meet again, and it’s better, way fucking better. It’s hot, slick and one of Carlos’ hands moves slowly from his neck to press down on Charles’ neglected cock.

Charles breaks the kiss, startled and horny as fuck.

“Carlos! Fffucking hell, oh my god.” His voice comes out as whimpers, and his hands try to find somewhere to hold onto. Involuntarily, they stop at Carlos' hair, and he tugs at it just to see Carlos moan against his ear. “Please, Carlos…”

Carlos smirks again, looking right at his eyes.  

“What if I give you a blowjob? Would you like that, cariño?” Charles’ breath stops, and the bathroom fades into the background. Holy fuck, he’s nodding before he thinks it through. “You could say it’s a favor. So that Monaco doesn’t sting that hard, pretty boy.”

Carlos tightens his hold on both his neck and his cock, and Charles' vision almost whites out. He’s not getting out of this alive.