#funny monster dad go BRRRRRR

[neerasrealm]

“Send wholesome family requests” I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED AND I would request just like

Holiday things?? Like Christmas or Easter or if they even do stuff like that

OOOH THIS ONE’S INTERESTING OK OK I’m gonna do as many holidays as I can think of

New year’s eve

Everyone is home. The entire family comes to visit for christmas and stays at least till new years. the kids are allowed stay up till midnight, they watch fireworks and just do the general new years eve stuff!

Yes they do the kiss thing when it hits midnight. I’m a sap leave me be

When I say the entire family I mean Slender’s brothers and Kate the chaser (she lives on a farm out of state </3)

Valentine’s day

Listen ok. So many of the people in the mansion are dating so a lot of em just go on dates or buy flowers

everyone is lovey dovey for a day leave them be

Tim sits in his room staring at Jay’s old hat waiting for february 15th to roll around

maybe one day I’ll go more in depth about what each couple does to celebrate ;)

St Patrick’s Day

I’m Irish let me have this one

LJ celebrates by getting hammered and singing irish drinking songs with the older creeps

Slender takes the younger ones to a local parade so they don’t have to see Jack being a bad role model

If you’re not wearing green Jeff and Cody will hunt you down and punch you on the arm

Easter

Slender sets up an easter egg hunt in the woods! he makes it extra hard since there’s so many people taking part, and a majority of them have supernatural powers

Tim, hanging upside down from a tree: can i offer you an egg in these trying times

yes the older creeps take part. let them have fun

and they want chocolate

Pride month

MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE MANSION ARE GAY AND/OR TRANS

Slender lets people put pride flags up if they want

local pride events get RAIDED by the slender family you can’t STOP THEM

Jack dresses like a rainbow nightmare for a month

Everyone else wears a couple rainbow items throughout the month because of him

‘’yearly reminder that i am gay’‘

‘‘yeah we know’‘

Halloween

This one might be long my family is kinda obsessed with halloween so y’know. lotsa projection

the moment it hits october you know Jeff, Ben, EJ, Cody and Sally are going shopping for decorations

The mansion is decorated from top to bottom. skeletons, statues, animatronics, you name it.

they go all in

the outside of the mansion has a fake graveyard set up

LJ doesn’t like creepy clown decorations :( they don’t use any

COSTUMES

they go all in on costumes

slender helps to make them

you’d think the creeps would take the opportunity to walk around without a disguise for once

nah dressing up is FUN BRO!

LJ takes Sally trick or treating along with a bunch of other kids that he’s friends with

just a gaggle of kids running around with this giant clown man

Sally’s go-to costume is a pirate

she loves pirates

Ben, the rest of his gaming friends and Jeff go trick or treating together

they’re just running around like feral bastards. Liu goes with them later on when he joins the family <3

FREE CANDY WHOOO

they attend bonfires and just cause chaos

EJ, Tim and Cody attend whatever local halloween party they can find because they wanna have fun

Helen and Dina go out together to local festivals leading up to halloween

Helen is really good at designing original costumes

they just like being among people and seeing other’s costumes

Liu and Momo watch spooky movies leading up to halloween

Liu is one of the few people in the mansion who actually gets scared by horror movies

everyone else is just desensitized GSDHDGVSHJDSGH

‘’Liu calm down ghosts don’t even work like that smh’’

everyone collectively has a candy induced hangover in early november. smh. 

Thanksgiving

I’m Irish so idk what thanksgiving really is???

Slender cooks for days on end getting ready

Kate comes home for it! she brings her own food and stuff she grew on her farm

Slender loves seeing her 🥺 that’s his LITTLE GIRL he LOVES HER

Trender also comes to visit! he lives all the way up in new york, so they don’t see him super duper often, but he always stays for holidays!

brings stuff from fancy bakeries and new clothes for everyone

he always brings tons of gifts. its his way of making up for never being around

big family dinner <3 they love each other

Christmas

Literally a month later everyone comes back AGAIN

again, Slender spends a few days in advance cooking. nowhere near as intense as thanksgiving tho

the mansion is decorated top to bottom. they have a GIGANTIC christmas tree just COVERED in decorations

slender loves the winter time <3 it reminds him of when he lived in poland

holiday markets!! you know they’re all going to those!

WINTER FESTIVALS YES

lots of family outings throughout december

sally loves going ice skating and they usually all go except for Ben

Tim takes him and Jeff out to do something else while everyone else skates. he isn’t good at skating, and neither is Jeff.

mall santa slenderman

so many fucking gifts. there’s so many of them and they all get gifts for each other so everyone gets like 20 gifts every year

holiday shopping is TOUGH

SNOWBALL FIGHTS

slender makes the best hot chocolate around christmas time

he knits sweaters for everyone too

LJ gets SUPER EXCITED throughout december

christmas is his favorite holiday because it’s also his birthday!!

slender makes a fuss of him leading up to christmas because. husbands.

LJ in a christmas sweater send tweet

trender brings so many gifts. all of them are expensive as all hell. it’s great

christmas eve is spent singing carols together in the living room and just enjoying being together as one giant family 🥺 im a sap istg

aaand that’s every holiday! this post took nearly an hour to type HDSVGHGDSH I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY SORRY FSHGFADSJHFSJ

[im-like-if-a-girl]

*THE* mean-girl-dean-girl's Supernatural reboot MEGAPOST!

I'm gonna stick a little "keeping reading" here because hoooooo boy, this is a very long post.

Let's start with

Plot

Season 1

Dean kills John while they are out on a hunt in a crime of passion, but Dean doesn't remember because he blacked out. Cue Dean going to Stanford to get Sam and tell him "Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a couple days."

The audience doesn't know what happened to John, but slowly figures it out with Dean and Sam as Dean slowly remembers what happened that night.

The entire first season, the boys are following the trail John left and fighting monsters as well. They find out Dean was with John, Sam realizes Dean has an unreliable memory, they have heart to hearts about their childhood and the fire, they find John's body, "how could you kill Dad?" but maybe Dean didn't kill dad, whooaaaaaa, misdirection.

It was actually good ole yeller eyes (Azazel) and he made it look like Dean killed John.

Okay, now let's move on to the first episode

Not sure how the opening would work, I would like the story of the fire to be revealed over the course of the first season, but maybe the opening scene could be a little bit of an establishing character relationships and backstory, idk, I haven't thought that far yet.

I'm thinking maybe it's like, Dean gets back to a motel room covered in blood and he listens to a voicemail on his phone from John saying he was on a hunt or something, I don't really know lol.

HOWEVER

I do know that after the intro rolls, we get a scene of Sam waking up to his alarm and "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton starts playing.

Y'all know where this is going.

Cue a montage of Sam's normal Stanford college life (him sitting through lectures, walking through the campus with friends) spliced with scenes of Dean absolutely slaughtering a nest of vampires (or some other monsters, whatever works best.)

But

Now onto

Characters!!! (And descriptions)

Dean Winchester

Some lovely person on this site made edits of Dean with platinum blond hair and it made me feel some kind of way so we're doing that, homie's gonna have platinum blond hair

Side note about the hair, later when the brothers are running from the FBI he dyes it a dirty blond/light brown (insert jackles hair color controversy here) as a disguise.

He also gets tattoos because we were robbed.

Speaking of tattoos, concept: when Dean comes back from Hell, all of his tattoos are gone. His body is a clean slate, devoid of tattoos, scars, etc. So he gets his tattoos done all over again, which he doesn't mind because he made some bad, drunk tattoo decisions in his youth.

(And before you ask, yes, he does get one for Cas, either a bee or Cas's name in enochian, something cute.)

Dean goes to therapy after Sam gets sent to the Cage.

It's actually court mandated because he got in trouble, lol, he would never go to therapy on his own.

Along with the hair, Dean gets to be the grade A twunk we all know he is.

Sam Winchester

His hair gets longer in every scene he's in

No jk, but imagine

King of Microaggressions

Sam starts off like the sweetheart he is in season 1 but in later seasons he starts enjoying killing a little too much...

It's that demon blood, ba-by!!!

He brings up issues of morality to Dean, i.e. killing monsters who aren't hurting anyone. (Yes I know this is contradictory to my previous statement, but these two facets of Sam can and will coexist.)

Sam and Jess's relationship is explored further, meaning we'll need to start with a different inciting incident, but that's fine, I think everyone can agree fridgings are *(thumbs down)*

Sam doesn't truly know what happened the night of the fire until later, and then he understands why Dean is so protective of him.

Jess

She gets to live beyond the first episode

She is also trans

No, I don't feel like I have to explain myself and I won't 💜

She urges Sam to join Dean in a search for their brother, kind of gets pulled into the hunter lifestyle by association lol.

She dies on a rusty nail after fighting vampires on a routine hunt with Sam

No jk!!!

But imagine....

She's amazing and I love her and Lucifer also uses her as leverage against Sam and possesses her because I think that'd be cool.

She supports Sam 100% and also she and Dean are buddies, pals if you will.

She meets Cas Thee El and immediately she Knows, that is a homosexual.

She dies still so that we can have a Saileen Endgame but she's not dying the first episode or in a fridging. Not on my watch.

Castiel

He gets to keep his raw, light-fixture-exploding power.

I want more of that "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in" energy except over dumb shit like Dean not cleaning up after himself.

He looks like a Dilf in every scene he's in, yeah, that's right, dilf with a capital D for *(GUNSHOTS)* *(gets sent to horny jail)*

Claire

She gets pink hair

And more time with Cas

And maybe a nose piercing

Feel like she should be able to kill a couple angels onscreen, punch a couple homophobes

She gets to meet Jack and teaches him swears and fun slang words.

She deserves it.

Jack

I says "that's my baby and I'm proud."

Jack starts off as a baby, but like Amara he grows up super quickly.

Like, baby to 11 year old in a couple days or less.

This is because Jack's emotional age on the show is on par with that of a 5th grader.

It's at this point when he's a young kid that he runs away from the Bunker and shenanigans ensue.

It's also at this point that Dean threatens to k*ll him.

(Still not sure if I want that in my Supernatural (threatened infanticide? In my Supernatural? It's more likely than you think) but we'll see. We'll see.)

Throughout a majority of season 13, Jack is like an 11 y.o. kid

Season 14 he's like a 16 y.o. teenager

Season 15 he's 21, you get the picture.

Listen, I love Alex Calvert a lot. He's great.

But Jack is a child and should be a child.

Kelly Kline

Kelly, baby, stay right where you are, you're perfect.

Eileen

SHE DOESN'T DIE

SHE GETS TO BE IN THE FINALE BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND I LOVE HER.

BLURRY WIFE WHO? I ONLY KNOW SAILEEN ENDGAME!

She teaches Claire and Jack swears in sign-language. Castiel is not impressed.

John

J*hn W*nchester stans, DNI.

He's dead.

We only see him in flashbacks and only sometimes hear his voice in voice overs.

He's not "down the road" from Dean in Heaven, in fact he instead gets to wander around in some Purgatory like Hell for the rest of his time :)

People who get to say "fuck" on the show:

Cas (but only Once)

Jody

Bobby

Now onto other things

I want more of

Ghostfacers

(they need more screentime because I love them)

Dean/Benny

We know they had a thing.

They definitely had a thing.

Demon Dean

Again, I feel like more should've been done with this. All that build up for what, 2 episodes? was not utilized well at all.

Dean's Bisexuality

Straight Dean truthers DNI, my Supernatural is a show about love and being true to yourself

You think Supernatural is a show about 2 straight brothers fighting monsters?

Naw bitch, this is a show about the Gay Experience

He will get to have relations with men on this show.

Of course, only after John dies does he, y'know, display it. Maybe he kisses Cas on his dad's grave just to fuck John over, make him roll in grave.

We all agree John would be/is a homophobe piece of shit, right?

Okay, glad we're on the same page.

Dads

3 men and a baby with Jack is what I'm saying.

I love it when the Trio are father-figures to younger troubled characters they see themselves in, even better if it's like reluctant-but-loving father figure, oh, that trope gets me every time :'^)

Dadstiel and DadDean are my favorites, but I like it when Sam plays "Uncle Sam" to kids too lol.

"Fellas, is it gay to want a tight knit family with your husband, his son, his vessel's daughter, your brother, his wife, your cop mother figure and her wife and their adopted daughters? Asking for a friend."

Garth

Biggest flaw of Supernatural was underutilizing Garth.

I will never not be bitter that Garth was only in like, 7 episodes out of the whole 15 season series.

Every episode with Garth gets immediately 5 times better.

I love Garth.

Follow ups on characters who had entire episodes featured around them and then just... vanished???

This is mostly about Jesse, the magic kid whose imagination ruled an entire town like, his daddy was a demon and nothing came of that kid??? Only one episode about him?? No follow up???

KID CAN MANIPULATE REALITY AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A FOLLOW UP ON THAT?????

Uh, there was that one episode with Ennis the guy whose girlfriend was killed by a monster? I think?? Who we never see again, that was weird.

Tamara from season 3, episode 1.

And of course-

Cassie

She was so cool, and then we never saw her again :////

She gets to be a badass.

Religious imagery

As a former Catholic school student who has become for the most part, disillusioned with religion, religious imagery in TV shows like Supernatural make my brain go "brrrrrr."

Fun episodes!!!

Like, after season 6 or so, there's a drop in funny episodes

I'm talking Changing Channels, The French Mistake type stuff. (Scoobynatural is an outlier and should not be counted.)

So anyway

In my version we would have more fun episodes

I'm thinking

GENDER-SWAP EPISODE, BABY!!

(why they didn't do that in the original, we'll never know.)

An episode where Dean gets to wear eyeliner

That's it, end of post.

I want less

Racism

Yeah I feel like this is self explanatory, nearly every reoccurring character in SPN is white, and black side characters normally die in the episode they first appear in, or they'll be featured as a villain (Uriel, Raphael, Billie, etc)

Also there's a lot of... uh... asian fetishism featured in the show (what with "Busty Asian Beauties) that's really gross, also Kevin was a bit of a stereotype...

Also also it's super yucky how they kill the gods from other religions like???? Uh??? That's super disrespectful, let's not do that????

I know Supernatural is like, inherently racist because monsters are a separate race that are seen as some dangerous "other" that must be eradicated by hunters in a form of genocide-

Okay we won't get into that but

Still

Stop killing all your POC

Fridgings/Unecessary murders of female characters

I know Supernatural starts with a fridging, so this will be a hard thing to remedy, but

One death that really pissed me off was the death of Charlie

Yeah, that was pointless and we're not doing that. Charlie gets to live and be an awesome aunt to Jack.

And also Claire

Charlie Bradbury Superiority

Charlie and Garth get to meet because they're nerd/geek solidarity.

British Men of Letters

I fucking hate these guys

They're "litcherally" the worst.

The worst part is that the actors they have playing the British AREN'T. EVEN. BRITISH.

And you can tell

Uh, and that's all for now, I'll add more later.

tag list for people who liked my "if this post gets one like I'll post my SPN reboot masterpost" post.

@darianyunidi @sarasidlesaid @crazybananaalpaca @playfulpanthress @ultfreakme @fififeelsmellow @heller-char @luna8eaton @princessmeganfire @insanebot109 @queenofnightsnow @mongoose-underthehouse

Thank you for the support, hope the wait was worth it.