#gandolf foogray

[cromulentbits]

After spending countless seconds scanning a half-page of search results, I couldn't find any link to download the legendary, poorly translated subtitles for "The Two Towers" as an .srt.

Drunk with purpose, I updated an English subtitles file to reflect this collection of screenshots. No other additions or changes made from what you can find on that darling, little Angelfire site.

Here's a link to download the .srt file for your own appreciation.

[negreabsolut]

[calenith-official]

Calenith watches The Two Towers

(So, I’d started doing a running commentary like I did for ROTK, but Tumblr ate the post. Grrr. So I’m going to do it slightly differently now.)

I own two copies of TTT - the extended edition and the regular DVD - but the version my folks have at their place (I’m at home doing laundry! It’s like college again but now I’m in my 30’s and my new place doesn’t have a washer/dryer yet and I’m too cheap to go to a laundromat! But I digress...) ...Anyways, the version my folks have at their place is a bootleg “For [The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences’] Consideration” copy that my aunt picked up in Thailand. This means that (a) ocassionally “For Your Consideration” flashes across the screen during parts that are particularly award-worthy and (b) the bootleg English subtitles are HILARIOUS.

So, no running commentary (which no one wants anyway, (recognizes the person who has knowingly abused parinthetical expressions far too many times for one post)), but yes on screencaps of the best of the horrible subtitles. Starting right after Aragorn and Co meet Eomer. Because, again, Tumblr ate my original post and I’m too ticked to rewatch.

Coming to you in at least four parts: Part 1

Oh, I’m considering all right.

We pick up with Arogon son of Alfred, Gibley (alternatively Gimbly) son of Gloin, and Legolas, who is too pretty to have his name mangled by bad subtitleists.

They are tracking the hobiks Marine and Pippin who have been taken by a hoard of nasty oaks.

Luckily, the hobiks escape the oaks and are rescued, ironically, by trees. Arogon, Gibley, and Legolas are kind of creeped out by the fantasy-world Hot Topic-esque emo soundtrack,

... but while they’re at the Fangorn Mall, they run into Gandolf Foogray, who is sporting a new identity and fresh new threads, so, you know, it all works out. (I’d fake my death and reinvent myself too if my surname were Foogray, just saying.)

And I leave you with a possible Biblical reinterpretation - what if King Solomon DID practice white magic?

Stay tuned for part 2, unless Tumblr eats this post again and I give up. To be continued...

[negreabsolut]

[negreabsolut]