#generically explaining trauma

[huepou]

brat summer

[r0sy-maple-m0th]

the man in black -- lenores spectre {concept}

bit of a preamble because i am a yapper i fear, feel free to skip;

so i was plotting out a lennabel pre-nevermore oneshot (hopefully on my ao3 soon😘😘(thats entirely wishful thinking, i havent even started writing yet loll))

and while i was looking around wikis and rereading the story so i can portray the characters correctly (im very extra and scared of mischaracterization!!), i came up with ANOTHER story idea based on the latest chapters + annabels spectre.

itd definetely be a bit of a challenge for me to write alongside all my other wips, so im putting it on the back burner for now, BUTTTT i need to get it off my chest so heres the concept, enjoy ;D

---------------------------------------------------------------------

After the misfits had split up (ep114), it takes nearly an hour for Lenore to successfully find an opening to slip away from Morella and Berenice. It's for their own good, an effort to lead whatever beast her curse had brought to the academy as far from their destination--the arboretum--as possible. She has faith that they'll make their way safely without her, perhaps even reunite with the others they had been separated from. They were stronger than they looked after all.

In her haste to get further from the arboretum, she slips in a large puddle of.. something. Landing on her hands and knees shes brought face to face with the substance; blood. Frantically she pushes herself up, reasonably in a rush to be rid of the bodily fluids--..only to slip once more in her rush, head slamming sideways against the mahogany floorboards. It's then that she catches a glint of something on the ground in front of her.

Upon closer inspection, it becomes increasingly obvious the object is a ring.The ring that she gave her Annabel Lee, back when they were alive. An engagement ring. Annabel's ring. Surrounded by cold crimson blood.

No.. No, no no no..--

Immediately the world around her came crashing down as she lost herself in her thoughts and memories. I've felt this before.. Why have I felt this before...

[FLASHBACK]

..How had it come to this..? One moment, shes preparing herself to be wed, dressing handsomely for her soon-to-be wife, and then the next moment... How did things go awry so quick?

It was the morning of the cermony when Lenore had heard shouting just beyond her bedchambers. Unusual, for sure, especially on such a traditionally happy day, where everyone was about to ride to the church.. She found herself getting up and heading for the door to investigate, only for it to slam open before she got there. Mister Whitlock stood in the hall, entirely vexxed and brandishing a shiny revolver aimed directly at Lenore. "You. You! You've got a great deal of explaining to do!"

Lenore's stomach dropped as she stared. How could he have.. "I-I don't understand-" she raised her hands in surrender as if it'd better her odds of survival. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" He screamed, face burning red as rage itself, "You're a liar and a lunatic, Leo--Lenore Vandernacht! Tricking my daughter into an act of such.. such madness!" the words he spat were laced with venom as he stepped closer and closer. The gun stayed aimed at her chest even as he hovered his finger above the trigger.

The sound of heels echoed alongside a new voice sobbing out "FATHER STOP THIS, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND--" But that didn't stop the earpiercing fire of the gun. No.. No, the only thing it stopped was a bullet being lodged into Lenore's heart.

The woman who had thrown herself in front of the guns barrel had not been as lucky.

Annabel's limp body fell backwards into Lenore, pulling them both down to the floor. Her breaths had grown ragged, and blood feathered through and stained the blouse of her white gown. No.. No, no no no..-- Annabel looked up at Lenore from where her head had landed on the tallers lap. And smiled. Even as blood trickled from her lips, even as her gaze hollowed, she smiled. A bittersweet thing.

Lenore couldn't find any words. Nothing felt right, not even brushing the hair out of her loves face with her shaking hands. Weakly, Annabel reached up, holding the hand that held onto her cheek. She watched as Lenore sobbed over her, muttering unintelligibly, unable to do anything as the freezing numbness slowly flooded her sensations.

Her hand felt to the floor as her vision blanked. Lenore was left with nothing her cold, unanimated lover in her lap. "...Look at what you've done-" She looked up towards the older mans shivering voice, eyes widening at the gun aimed between her eyes.

Then.. darkness.

[PRESENT DAY // NEVERMORE]

Her head ached with the beginnings of a migraine, hitting her hard and fast as her vision fogged over in dark splotches. Absently she could feel herself changing, like an out of body experience.

Her uniform shifted into something more akin to a suit, albeit a bit tattered. Black feathers sprouted from her arms as her fingers blackening and growing into sharp talon-like claws.

The author hasn't fully decided what her design is, as most of it is coming to her as she writes even this very sentence. She doesn't know how to incorporate all the elements she wants as she hasn't drawn any sketches yet. So just know that red ribbons and bell(s) are also included... somehow.

But how could she focus on all of that right now? Certainly not while shes still surrounded by this damned blood. Annabel's blood--

..She cant be dead.. No, no she's stronger than that.. I need--

I need to find her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

THANK YOU FOR READING :D

this was so fun to write so i hope you enjoyed!

hopefully i get around to fully fleshing it out on ao3 at some point soon, ill keep you updated :D

also the original oneshot that i mentioned earlier would definetely work as a pt.1 to this so everythings coming full circle yayaya

[shybasementkid]

please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate. please don't make me elaborate.

[celestialecho]

On homesickness, to a home that never was.

via ryebreadgf // the smiths, back to the old house // via wikipedia // adrianne lenker, half return // via edwardsaidpdf // sophie may, somewhere far // radiohead, (nice dream)

[syn0vial]

reading boba fett’s story in legacy of the force really is like, “wow, this man’s got 99 problems and actually communicating with the people he loves would solve at least 85% of them”

[bruisedviolette]

i was 11 when the first season of stranger things came out. i first watched it right before season 2 was released. i still remember the way i felt that spring, the way the air felt, it was so hot, i was basically stuck inside. my mum and i watched the entire first season in the span of two days. i can almost taste and smell the memory of that time in my life. arizona peach iced tea, mario badescu rosewater spray, sunflowers by elizabeth arden.

i first watched stranger things as a closeted and mentally ill child. i wished i could just be normal, like everybody else. i had a crush on my best friend at the time, i think she liked me too. we haven’t spoken in eight years. seeing a depiction of what i was going through, albeit a very different situation, as portrayed in a show that was so popular and widely loved by the general public in the character of will made me realise that things will be okay. everything will eventually work out.

when i was a kid i regularly had dreams in which i would go missing. there was never anything else to the dreams, or nightmares rather, i’d just disappear. sometimes i wished i would go missing. i felt like a burden to my friends and family because of my mental health issues, and the cherry on top was me being a lesbian. i used to cry myself to sleep and ask God if he was listening, why couldn’t i just be the normal daughter that every other parent seemed to have?

i’m so lucky that my parents accept me for who i am. i grew up thinking that everybody hated me because of my sexuality, that i was disgusting and wrong. i see a lot of myself in will, and joyce with my own mother.

all this to say that i Will be crying hysterically if there is a graduation scene in season 5. this show has been a constant throughout my life since i was 12. i’m 20 now, and since watching the first season as a mentally ill closeted child, i’ve changed a lot, and i’m a lot less sad than i used to be. i used to think i’d always feel like a mistake, like something was wrong with me, like i had to hide who i truly am.

i know this sounds so cliché, but it gets better. i’ve lived it. if you told me a decade ago that i would be living as an open lesbian, with friends and family that couldn’t care less about my sexuality and love me for who i am, i wouldn’t have believed you. trust me. it gets better. representation is so important in a show as impactful as stranger things for people like me and so many other queer people.

to anyone reading this, i love you, i care about you, and everything will work out in the end.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it

Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.

[coastal-mangos-one]

generational

[templeofvengeance]

[cartoonscientist]

one of my possible goals for 2025 is to eviscerate the Elsie Dinsmore series in a series of comedic liveblogs/dramatic readings in order to work through my own internalized patriarchal ideals (not like “women aren’t as good as men” or explicit misogyny like that, more like “if you are dependent on someone for survival they can do whatever they want to you because they own you”) and you know, also because they’re really really bad and completely bonkers

[heyclickadee]

So, my family is rewatching Rings of Power, and since I’m the one in the family that read The Silmarillion (like a masochist), I’m the one who keeps getting asked all the questions.

[creativity-deficient]

Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family 🤔🤔🤔

[drautismblog]

Also my psychologist suggested I probably have PTSD

[birf]

I had traumatic mom lore dumped on me today casually over breakfast

[buffygirlfail]

i start thinking of dru and buffy parallels and all of a sudden im shaking crying and throwing up

[waitingwaitingdrivesucrazy]

I had ethics today and we were talking about Catholicism and she was like are there any Catholics on here btw? and I had to stop myself from saying sorry