#genuinely don't know why I'm triggered so much by gas 🙃
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Just turned on the heating for the first time of the season... Already seeing money running away through the window 🙃
#misc#but mainly already stressing out about the weird noise and shit#calling the cleaning service tomorrow#i mean it's not like i turn it on for a long time#the boiler is on all the time to heat water#so no more risk of gas poisoning than usual#but this fear won't ever disappear#that and that shit suddenly breaking and no more heating and hot water#anywayyy#feel like i've been stressing about that every single year since i moved here#can't wait to be able to go somewhere with absolutely no fucking gas in the vicinity#genuinely don't know why I'm triggered so much by gas 🙃#like my parents have a gas stove#that need to be opened and lighted with a match/fire thing#and I always fucking hated it#I was less scared to light the chimney fire (but absolutely bad at it lmao)#and so several time i was supposed to cook when they left and they come back to me having a mental breakdown because i couldn't#cause i was scared#my grandma also have a gas stove but at least it ignites itself alone#anyway#im supposed to know how to behave around gas#and modern boilers are normally very secure#and also i don't know anyone around me that has been poisoned by gas#so i really have no explanation for that fear#it's like... something in my dna reacting to a primal threat#i overthinl at every little noise the boiler makes (and boilers make noise CONSTANTLY)#ughhhh hate it#(anyway money ain't the thing i fear most)#why am i rambling about this once again????
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