#genuinely upset bc any fanfic i read after this will never compare

[sebastiansmytheapologist]

how to recover after reading the most fanfiction of your life??????

and a song to read chapter 7 to

[shortkingvi]

I've read a few books that were marketed to me as like 'and its top ten queer books' and after putting it down i was just like oh so that actually just took time off my life like did we not have an editor?? did we just let this person write whatever no proofreading for narrative under the guise of 'its gay?' I'm not even sure what I'm upset about im trying to understand like is it bc queer writers have wobbly new writer legs? bc we havent been given the same amount of practise opportunities as the wider cishet authors have had? is it bc its a smaller pond so we just have fewer gems comparatively due to numbers alone?? is it just a failure of editors ??? feels like Good Queer content is so hard to fine comparatively to like more 'sword lesbians' and 'twilight but gay', not to gatekeep at all im just disheartened

omg guys LOVING these asks today LOVING the opportunity to pontificate on the media industry

so basically i think this is a twofold issue and i will answer this as such:

first, i believe that the same can be said for books directed toward young women. there’s a reason john greens and stephenie meyers and books like divergent are arguably barely readable and yet widely marketed and pushed toward preteen and teen girls. the reason why is because teen girls, like queer people, are NEVER the target demo. speaking as a person in marketing and media, the target demo is almost always men 18-34 or adults 25-54

this results in a lack of care or even consideration that queer people or young women deserve complexity or well executed stories! because we are always the afterthought!

the second issue here is somewhat a fault of internet fan culture. because of the prevalence and popularity of things like fanfiction or fancams or compilations or AUs or other things along this line, queer consumers oft enter into consumption from the lens of someone either already knowing the characters or someone SPECIFICALLY looking for queer as the backbone of the product

i can’t tell you how many people i’ve seen saying “oh i’ve never watched the show/movie but i watch comps of the queer ship and read fanfic about them!!” like??????? do you not realize the issue here? fanfic and compilations presuppose knowledge on the product, meaning they do not teach you how to consume a narrative, fill in blanks yourself, or establish your own thoughts on the successes or failings of the product

which means!!! when these people begin to recommend books or other media to your their frame of reference is “it’s queer!” because even if they’ve consumed the whole product, they’re hardwired to think that all consumers are searching for solely queer rep and not like,,,,,,, well-executed queer rep. it’s genuinely a side effect of the filter bubble era and the assumption that no one cares about narrative because my uwu gay little website rarely interacts with plot and regularly only focuses on ships

romance and sexuality and identity and love is good. it can strengthen and develop a narrative beyond where you might expect it to be. some of the most beautiful stories live and die based on whether their romance delivers on what it attempts to. however,,,,,,,,,, we are humans beyond who we love just as characters and plots exist beyond those same parameters. i wish people would try and remember that

little add on here that of COURSE i would never begrudge or belittle someone who consumes a product solely because it’s queer, particularly young people who are newly out. i was there once. as a kid raised in a catholic family who went to a catholic school all her life, i salivated at any glimpse of myself in media. i don’t fault any young person for this. BUT! at the same time, you do eventually need to become critical of the media you consume

you should never let corporations and conglomerates trick you into thinking half assed narratives are worth it solely because they’re a little diverse because then we’ll never truly break the chains of capitalism, rainbow capitalism, and heteronormative hegemonies that seek to push us to the fringes and give us the leftovers not deemed good enough for cishets. that’s all

[everythingsinred]

Hello! I’ve been reading your character-relationship analysis’ of Natsume and Natsume/Mikan’s, and was curious about your take on Hotaru’s relationship with Mikan (rereading GA has had me bawling, as well as now being in the LGBTQ+ community noticing the subtle/heavy implications of Hotaru’s sexuality and Higuchi’s consideration of Hotaru even being one of Mikan’s love interests) as well as Narumi’s character development from when he had met Yuka, leading to his relationship with his students throughout the story (in flashbacks he’s very cold to smol Subaru and Sakurano after Yuka’s departure, but the earliest memory after that would probably be him scouting Ruka, Aoi, and Natsume). By then, he appears to be similar to the Narumi we usually knew—cheerful, enthusiastic, but above all showing genuine concern over his students. In fact, I’d even argue he seemed a bit more genuine with the children at that time than compared to when Mikan first meets him. He just felt oddly less involved with the ESP and the ESP’s plans when he scouted the trio (upset and angry that Persona had resorted to such dirty means even under the principal’s orders to the point he even slapped him, whereas it’s hard to imagine him lashing against a direct order from the ESP by the time he met Mikan.

Comically though, a small comment on Koko’s character in the story would be cool, too. He’s often played as comic relief, but it’s reinforced time and time again that he knows knows practically everything. His character is interesting when you put into perspective he’d be aware of all of the sacrifices Natsume had been making as well as his abuse, the darkness within the elementary school, everything that Mikan and co. had to go through throughout the story and etc. A small part of me wishes the kids in Class B had bigger roles in the latter half of the story, though I’m satisfied with their relationship with/to Mikan at the end (after all, I still sobbed at her graduation scene and their ‘memories of Mikan’ classes).

thanks for the message! im glad you read my analysis!

for hotaru, im probably not the right person to ask about this b/c i dont have particularly strong feelings about hotaru/mikan as a relationship. i do see hotaru as being queer in some way but im not really that interested in her having a romantic relationship with mikan, and even their canon friendship (as opposed to in fanfic) leaves me a bit... idk the perfect word to put here but like?? lukewarm ig? i think thats sacrilegious or controversial to say but its just a feeling that disappoints me as well. i have cried hard for them and i like their general dynamic, but theres something lacking abt them that i cant rly put into words. i would like to have felt more strongly about them, if that makes sense. its not hatred or even dislike or apathy. just more mild feelings than i would like. their friendship has potential, imo, but i just never considered it to be fully realized. but in regards to a romantic ship, then as a staunch natsumikan shipper, its hard for me to enjoy imagining them with other people, personally. but you have a lot of cool thoughts of your own and thats great! <3

like im pretty sure anybody who ships other ppl with natsumikan will end up being disappointed in my mikan pov natsumikan analysis bc my biases will be made pretty clear in that regard lol ;) but thats bc i dont write about things i dont like or that im not as interested in

i think i mentioned in my essay that i find narumi confusing as a character. his motivations and actions are really weird and sometimes hard to pin down. really i think hes the most mysterious character in the whole manga and any attempt to analyze him would probably lead to more questions than answers. hes a paradox lol. i cant really give u a "take" bc my take is just... who knows with him lol?? hes an enigma

i dont think koko is always using his alice though. he seems to have a large amount of control over it and only uses it for pranks and jokes. otherwise his character seems malicious, implying that he would know things about luna/persona/esp without letting any of the other kids know. but i think theres some evidence in the manga that hes not always using it, like when other characters tell him to use it (mostly natsume re:mikan like when she first transfers into class b or after the labyrinth). koko likes teasing mikan about who she likes, for example, bc he likes pranking ppl, but he wouldnt out somebody for something serious or keep something dangerous to himself. he says a few times something about "accidentally reading" somebodys mind. so i think he has some control over it, and isnt always reading ppl's minds 24/7, if that makes sense. im sure he knows some important/sensitive info particularly abt natsume, but probably on accident. but there isnt much he can do as a powerless kid so he keeps it to himself bc its all he CAN do for natsume.

i really liked the graduation/memory classes as well but tbh the ending could have perfectly utilized the smaller roles in class b if it had been longer and gone on for one last arc. i mean imagine the quest to find hotaru! natsume not using his alice so as to keep his life span longer and mikan having very little alice left means that other characters can finally have a bit of focus, like ruka as well as other class b characters! i like to think about this idea a lot lol. idk in general class b deserves more attention and love

sorry if these answers are disappointing. i have opinions on all these things but i dont wanna prattle on too much. thank u for sending me this ask! <3 have a lovely day or night depending on ur time zone!

[semercury]

☕️- thoughts about extreme fanfics or fanfics centering around intense topics

considering i read and thoroughly enjoyed a 380k sports anime fanfic that completely obliterated canon and instead created a narrative dealing with topics including, but not limited to, gang violence, drug addiction, prostitution, war, ptsd, rape, homelessness, and death, i’d say i’m pretty fucking pro fics talking about intense topics. and tbh, i still really want to write a similar fic for current fandom bc uhhhhh current fandom canonically deals with gang violence, drugs, and death, and it’s not a very far leap in logic to include the rest of those things.

there are very few, if any, topics that i believe should never be touched in fiction. for me, fiction has always been the place where we can look at the dark and upsetting things from a safe distance and explore our feelings on the topic. and fanfiction is just a different medium of fiction in my book (ha, book, get it? i’m hilarious.)

with that being said, i do think it’s very important to take into consideration what kind of light you’re shining onto these darker topics. the fic i was speaking of clearly had a lot of research (and from my understanding of author’s notes, life experience) put into it, and nothing was ever glorified or made to seem appealing. i do believe there is a strong line between fiction and reality, and if a person genuinely has trouble distinguishing, they probably shouldn’t be reading heavy topics, but i do think the glorification and normalization of certain things is not a step in the right direction. it creates a slippery slope, and while it is not the duty of the author to hold everyone’s hand and say like “murder bad, drugs bad, rape bad,” i don’t think glorifying any of those things does anyone any favors.

i do also think though that some people can take things overboard in how much they add shocking things into a story, which personally makes me bored with the fic. i remember one time stumbling across something that was tagged as cannibalism, and i was so curious as to how it related to the rest of the story that i read it all. there was a lot of unsavory things in there that made me very uncomfortable (and very little cannibalism, might i add, i was very disappointed) but the discomfort didn’t do anything. it didn’t say anything, and it became a lot of like “oh great, another noncon scene that i’m going to skim through and squirm the entire time” which wasn’t enjoyable for me. some people like shock though. i know i got bored after the like fourth saw movie. shock for shock’s sake isn’t appealing to me. you either need to commit to it and have it be relevant to the story or say something about it on a deeper level or it needs to be used sparingly, like salt in a dish. a little is fine and can add flavor, but please don’t dehydrate me.

but i don’t generally find any moral issue with including taboo topics unless they’re glorified. i have yet to read lolita, for example, but my understanding is that while the narrator is unreliable, it is never meant to be read as a love story. you are not meant to root for humbert and dolores to be together and you are not meant to read it and go “no, this is fine, i have no problem with it.” compare this to some fanfiction which will try and play off kidnapping and rape as romantic and cute, and that’s kind of where i go “honey do you need to talk with someone? a psychologist maybe? who hurt you?” and while i do know that things like rape fantasies can come from a place of trauma or even the theory they come from repressed female sexuality, i don’t think it’s something that should be indulged in.

so basically tl;dr i think it’s fine and even good to explore extreme and intense topics in any kind of fiction, but it should not be glorified.