#gets over it n gets back under it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

peachyutdr · 10 months

Text

i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D

#undertale yellow #uty #my art #<- ifg #spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad #that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways #CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly #but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD #ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO #LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER #ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD #BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE #n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of #everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS #WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING #AAND THE GROUP HUGG #I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD #AND THE FUCKOGN #THE F U C K I N G #AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD #to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho #and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump #just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece #anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way #this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to #oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig

727 notes · View notes

cowboy-kidd · 3 months

Text

Regressor!Bruce Wayne

x - x - x

(headcannons in tags 🦇💕)

// pt - dni: nsfw accounts //

#idk if i like this one or not #dc agere #moodboard tag #batman agere #agere batman #fandom agere #I DIDN'T PUT IT BUT THIS GUY IS A TODDLER #he toddles around n he loves teethers n blankies n stuffies #he prolly has a bunch of jellycats #he collects little stones n gives them to Alfred n Alfred puts them in a drawer #hes a trauma regressor so he cry's a lot n he's very emotional - when he's happy he'll cry n when he's sad he'll cry n when he's excited he #will cry #hes just a baby someone come take care of this boy IMMEDIATELY #likes to climb trees & has a hero complex - likes to play superhero n help alfred do everything #“i gots it i gots it...nnoo is otay i gots it i can do it mself”#a tiny tiny stutter where he drags his words on but only a bit #is sooo independent but reliant at the same time - he likes to play those games where you put the shape in the shape box #“papa..apa look..stars...”#lights up when he sees the sky n all the stars it has - probably knows exactly where to find the constellations #“n theres orion n big dipper”#loves bathtime..would stay in there forever if he could..rlly he just likes being warm n full n loved #he cant sleep without his lullaby (a recording of his ma singing him to sleep) n her pearls in his hand + his dads tie under his pillow #sniffles a lot cuz he cries so much n is always nodding off cuz crying makes u sleepy #A lot of tea for his aching throat cause he tries his best to hold in his hiccups n stuff..#Alfred just pats/rubs his back n lets him let it all out #looves chocolate- gets it all over his face n it needs to be wiped with a warm wash cloth/ baby wipe

22 notes · View notes

sunmisbf · 27 days

Text

bitches will be obsessed w dpr ian n then ask how u knew they had a Disorder

#when i watched his coachella stage last year n the people in the crowd were just losing their fucking minds over this guy n i was like damn😭#i understand now.#i had already understood when i listened to his discography before but i’m having a renaissance right now #like i am getting a little nervous n i am a scaredy cat calling from under my bed n the world did come crashing down n the king’s men can’t #put me back together again n sometimes i am wondering how i got this gun to my head in the first place #.txt

11 notes · View notes

cryolyst · 2 months

Text

~

#they speak!#it's probably just the illness that's making me extra irritable but like.#roommate kept coming up to me this morning going oh did i wake you up? i'm sorry if i did. did i do that or no? i'm really sorry.#and i kept telling him to stop saying sorry because i didn't have the brain power to phrase #'you could've been more considerate of your volume but you also have the right to use the common space so it's whatever'#but he said it to me again before i went to my room just now and it's like. ok. shut up.#if you actually cared that much u would've just been quieter in the first place actually.#anyways. annoyed. there were some annoying customers in the store today but it was whatever.#i feel like my fucks to give had already worn out with all the ppl in my social circle/my parents and the recent ongoings of that #[redacted] was being passive aggressive to me in the group chat and it's like. ok! idk what u want from me.#and i'm grateful for them for coming over and helping me with cleaning last week #and it's those sorts of actions that let me know they care and want good things for me #but like. i haaaate telling them anything because even innocuous non-private things get turned into judgement with them.#also. more and more i can feel how i'm drifting away from h and now with retrospect i can see how we mutually hurt each other :)#i keep coming back to this one period where i really wanted to take them to try dimsum and they kept saying they were too scared to try it #and in their new friend group they regularly go out n get dimsum together. which on the surface is like. why didn't you want to go with /me #i told you i wanted to share what i liked and i would explain what things were and i could do the talking and you still said no #but it's also very much a reflection of how i always rolled over and enabled them. i never challenged them. i was always passive.#i also feel like i'm heavily neglecting e and a recently and i can tell how the physical distance is affecting us and idk. it's weird.#anyways. another post that should've been a journal entry! lol!#when [redacted] helped with cleaning they also buried my journal under my like #300 packets of sesame candies and i can't be bothered to dig it out. also my bandaids are missing now. <3 #ik this also sounds passive aggressive but genuinely appreciate the help i just kinda hate how they think hidin everything in boxes is good #'we need to get you some more storage boxes and containers!!' actually i think that will be the opposite of helpful.#i need everything visible and on open surfaces so i can 1) remember they exist for me to use and 2) not have barriers for me to get to them

8 notes · View notes

lecliss · 10 months

Text

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

#she takes on a very 'obsever' role. like kashi is the teacher watching over them. but sock is the watching and commenting from the same #perspective of nart and sauce and also the viewer unlike kashi. cuz he provides a lot of exposition and whatnot in his inner monolgues #and its like. of course the girl is just the observer who watches alongside us as the two main boys grow and develop #AND I DONT WANNA FUCKIN BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT THIS BUT GOD ITS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!#but her whole character so far is 'i hate the class clown. im book smart. i diet and im in love'#and the way i see it is. 12yo girl TRYING to fit into the femininity she sees in the world around her so she forces herself to be like this #but she has inner sock who speaks what she really feels showing that she puts on quite a front and isnt really much like that at all #and you expect her to grow into wanting her to truly define herself. and she does with getting stronger and training under tsunade and #learning medical ninjutsu so she really finds a spot for herself. she does!!! but then she KEEPS hanging onto the love nonsense #and admittedly there are moments that push a very obvious trope of thinking she likes sauce cuz hes cool but finding out that the real 'gem'#is nart so i definitely understand where n@rus@kus are coming from #but then she just STICKS with sauce until its the worst ship possible and its an utter mess of 'ill never give up on him'#EVEB DESPITE HIM TRYING TO KILL HER!!! THEN THAT FUCKING WORKS OUT!?!?!?#AND TOO THIS DAY SAUCE STILL NEVER COMES OFF LIKE HE ACTUALLY LOVES HER #IM SORRY BUT ITS TRUE. SARD WE ARE GETTING YOU BETTER PARENTS. ON GOD!!!!!#so she just hangs on to this one little thing that she SHOULD have gotten development for to move on from BUT IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS #so its like half her development never fucking happens and thats why it #s such a fuckinf mess!!!!!#i fucking hate this show. i need to go back to watching mike's dino game vod. what am i doing here?????#i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart #start thinking about something good and then it reminds you of something related thats bad and now its like. yeah this shit sucks #remember when kishi said he regretted not making hina the heroine???? we could have lived in a better timeline.#but if i say that i will get assassinated #anyway.#sock count #personal

13 notes · View notes

cerbreus · 1 month

Text

🚣‍♂️

#every day things get easier and things feel a little bit better than the day before #I feel like i'm thru the worst of it thankfully. over the biggest hurdle of 'feeling bad and sad and everything reminding me of him'#which is good!#i was prepared for the sadness and disappointment that came with the heartbreak #it also came with a general feeling of... oddness? feeling very off kilter?#it's like when you get used to a certain food at a store you grocery shop and it's just one of your staples #and one day you show up and find out it's been discontinued. it's not like you won't find something else.#but there's just kind of that absence and a familiarity you're missing?#many many thoughts lately about things.#a lot changes when you no longer have that 'person who you always wanna tell all the little things'#there's just a certain kind of closeness that i let a partner have with me. and it leaves a bit of a gap behind when it's gone.#it's like one of those tidal caves that's only open under certain right conditions.#everythings gotta line up just right for that to be explored. and now i'm just waiting for the tide to finish coming back in to cover it up #til everything is just right again to try and explore that with somebody.#hoping somebody someday just. wants a very passionate and committed guy who really likes gasmasks rocks roadtrips and being outside #im an imperfect simple man who loves and cares very deeply. i got learning n growing to do but that part will never change #personal stuff

4 notes · View notes

twilightarcade · 3 months

Text

to do list for my eyes Only

#wordstag #getting ready 4 bed... made wraps for tomorrow!#I have 2 text girl who im friends with about pizza rolls tomorrow.. think she'd find it silly #ummm! Need to figure out what I'm making for July 4th? Going to the store tomorrow or so. Maybe hold a poll haha #pssssshhhhhhh... have collected a few cloud photos and I wanna try my had at drawing them. Likely not to post as I took them nearby...#probably going to take a shower in the morning. Need to do that #I Will say we washed our sheets recently. Big stuff. Need to put laundry away tho.#hmm............ working on pixel art as of late. God am I bad at pixel art. Its ok tho.#I neeed to have like. A conversation with someone. Haven't had the energy as of lat1e though. Or as of ever. Horrid.#need to go back to the library soon as well.... return my books #I may invest in keeping a time slotted schedule. I think it would be beyond good for me but also that means doing initial setup #like planners is like ok do this... eventually! Lol! But if it was loosely time slotted?#I'd hate to have to digitally because that puts on a lot of pressure. Counting down the minutes and such #maybe I can repurpose a planner...? Lots of questions to be asked. No answer today tho #also may invest in another goofy craft.. have a few Amazon gift cards collecting dust (Do Those Expire ?)#I donnou what do people buy off of Amazon anyhow? Questions for someone who is wiser than me.#I really want to invest in a nice desk though. Would kill for a nice desk n chair combo up in here #to be honest I still haven't quite gotten over lounge beds or whatever they're called. The bunks with desks under then?#that's the shit right there. Would be an absolute pain though.#but anyhow to do list... look into making an actual to do list.#we've used like. Notion n such on and off.#I quite like notion but never checked it enough for it to actually do anything for me... kind of the same problem as the Planner Problem #bullet journaling was Better till it got to the question of WHEN we were going to do all that stuff. Trick question we weren't.#I may try time blocking for like a week. See how it goes. Got a lot of time on our hands and haven't done much with it #spreading ourselves too thin etcetc. Gotta focus our efforts...#Ok that's enough from me; goodnight folks. Have a. A good one. Again. Sweet dreams and such.

3 notes · View notes

milfygerard · 6 months

Text

does taylor have a single debut song on any of the playlists?

#taylor swift #I dont think she does!#im so fascinated w her relationship to debut and how its grown and changed esp as shes started looking at her own life #and how her career and child stardom has affected her #it def seems like the album she has the most complicated relationship w even over albums like rep or lover #bc like. its her first! and she was 15 and not in control of any of it really #i cant wait for the tv of debut i really wanna see what she has to say #esp bc the promotion of the album looking back is kind of. is upsetting the word?#it has that gross sexualized lolita feel to it that her and her mom did a lot to scrub out of the promotion of fearless and speak now #that + her experience thruout the rest of her career w older men slutshaming and aggressive sexualization despite her pushing against it #all while she like. was clearly trying to discuss and explore sexuality in her music but doing that in any sort of public way #wouldve left her even more vulnerable. its a distressing balancing act that she still tries to maintain #idk my thoughts on debut arent fully formed i think id have to go back and look thru a lot of the promo and interviews n concerts #to have a better articulated thesis but its like. i get why shes weird about it #and thats before her just being deeply self critical and it being an album she made with only like 3ish years of songwriting under her belt #i have put all of my thoughts in the tags again

2 notes · View notes

mysticfemme · 7 months

Text

I feel really weak today and part of me just wants to message my ex but I know it will make me feel like shit so I need to not but I just miss them and I miss having them around.

#it sucks so much when you develop such a bond with someone it's like you know what each other is thinking #and then to have that ripped out from under you without getting even a warning is so jarring #but also i think they've kind of shot themselves in the foot because we've had tonnes of distance recently #they've been super busy with assignments but they want to fix things when they come back #but the thing is #having that space has allowed me the time to start trying to get over her and learn who i am #so it's actually a bit of a double edged sword ahah #rants n rambles

6 notes · View notes

theinconveniencing · 2 years

Text

I miss my childhood house so much I would give anything to grab the knob at the end of the banister and jump from the third step and catch a million seconds of air while I whip myself around the banister and down the hall

#I also miss my treehouse and the pool table I would use for fashion shows and the smell of the “secret garden” under the stairs and #the way the house would settle and the planes overhead and that stain on the carpet from where I dropped an entire plate of mac n cheese #and the distinct smell of my mom’s closet and climbing down over the back bank and going to the entryway where the ceiling was two stories #high and throwing bouncy balls as hard as I could to get them to bounce off the ceiling and the rope swing in the backyard and eating #the buttercups that grew there bc I read once they were edible and the sound your nails made when they scratched across the counter and #using hot clue to peel off paint and make patterns on the workbench and the shed that smelled like gasoline and climbing the tree that #my dad installed handles into to make it easier and making umbrella forts and playing washing machine (spinning around and around in #circles with your arms out then falling to the floor and watching the room spin) and the mismatched rung on the banister from where #I broke it and the sound of the cat door and how the garage door was so heavy that it would slam if you didn’t prop it open and how the #smell of laundry would waft up into my room and how if you laid on the bathroom floor you could see a piece of the old yellow flower #wallpaper that my mom missed when she ripped it out and the sound of the sliding glass door that we could never quite get clean and #the sound that the bag full of bags would make when you opened the pantry door too far and how my neighbor always used to sing when #she brought her trash out late at night and the crunch sound the carpet would make when you walked on the edge and how raccoons would #always come to the back door and my cat would try to scare them away and being scared to go into my mom’s bathroom bc the shower #had been ripped out for years after my dad tried to power wash it so it left several gaping holes to the rest of the house but there were #spiders in there for all I knew or cared #carmen.txt

19 notes · View notes

eggmeralda · 10 months

Text

can never describe enough how excited I am for the inevitable 2010s revival of the future

(also this turned into a massive ramble accidentally?)

#like i know there are already kids being like ''i wish i was a teenager in 2014 😭'' but i mean like #you know how like the past 5 years have been so 80s inspired #and also 90s #and how the 90s were really into the 60s #and i cannot wait for all the awful aesthetics that were everywhere when i was 12 to come back #bc i'm curious how it'll look. bc obviously it won't be like. the 2010s are back #it'll be this romanticised idea of the 2010s and i wonder which parts will be rejected and which parts you'll see Everywhere #god i feel like there needs to be a new Thing that causes the need for nostalgia #e.g. in the 70s when punk and indie started as a response to the way music was getting so. idk. complicated or whatever #or like kind of inaccessible to do yourself. like dgmw prog rock slaps disco slaps etc. but not everyone could just. do that #and then punk happened and it was so simplified like no long guitar solos or whatever it was so stripped down. and same with indie #not to ramble about what was in my dissertation but early indie was SO 60s influenced it was unreal. and. it was the nostalgia.....#and then i guess with punk there was new wave and post punk and then new romantics and synthpop and things got synthier and then idk #the 80s were so electronic which. again it slaps. but then it got to a point that it was Too Much again that there needed to be a Return #to the past and stuff. so then grunge and britpop and other stuff happened #and idek it always seems to be there's a new music genre or new subculture that evolves over a few years into different things #before getting too much and the next generation wants to go back so they make a new genre. which then evolves and the cycle goes on #but (at least from what I've seen. which probably isn't a lot bc i live under a rock) there doesn't seem to be anything New lately?#everything's all revivals of older genres now. like i haven't seen any new equivalent to emo or britpop or punk or beat or rock n roll etc #like a thing that Changes the timeline. and i was reading this essay about the new beatles song saying how we don't need a new beatles song #even though the new song's still cool it was kind of saying like everything nowadays is recycled and nothing is shocking anymore #like nostalgia is so big now. with all the film remakes and stuff like that. there is nooTHING NEWLY NEW. IDEK. I am rambling so much #just thinking about many things. this was sparked bc i listened to twilight by cover drive and it literally transported me back to year 7 #and that led to early 10s nostalgia and by the time that comes back into fashion will the nostalgia problem be worse or will something have #happened within that time. like a new punk or something. tbf i guess a lot of what I'm talking about is to do with rock and i mean #there's rap and stuff which i don't listen to a lot of so idk maybe there's stuff going on there which i don't know about. but then #i want there to be something i Do know about. like something you can't escape. kids are all dressing like this and listening to this and #we WILL hear about it. new proper subculture that isn't just a week long tiktok trend. ykw i blame tiktok for all of this lol #but yeah. holy shit tag limit #ramble

5 notes · View notes

hua-fei-hua · 1 year

Text

last night i had a dream that had something to do with reading a fic abt . well i wanna say "a haunted forest diner" but i've already written a haunted forest diner fic and it was not at all like that. anyway, it was this haunted forest diner fic in the sense that all its patrons were old forest gods of like decay and shit and in order to sneak in, you had to transform into like a deer, and apparently i was a supremely graceful jumper for a stag

but anyway i dreamt that that was a fic that i had apparently read and commented on months ago, but for w/e reason i had never read the replies to, and the author had replied that i seemed like a cool person n that they would have loved to have read some stuff i had written "but it seems you do not have any genshin works up..."

and honest to god all i could think upon reading that was literally "lol skill issue"

#and then i dreamt that i got one of those defeat the 8-12 hilichurl comms in genshin n i was like fine fine w/e #but after killing two i somehow figured out that they were not trying to kill me but instead trying to kidnap me to be their medic #and i was intrigued enough to be like 'okay' n sat down on this white blanket thing they had set aside for me #n one of my friends (don't remember who) was like 'yo you good?' n i was like 'yeah they just want me to be their medic'#n my friend looked at me suspiciously n was like 'well the comm isn't over you have six more to kill but if you need me i'll be over there'#n she pointed to where the trumpets i knew in high school (minus cody? i think?) were having sectionals under some trees #it was definitely trumpet sectionals but for whatever reason my brain decided to edit out cody So fucking True get redacted idiot #anyway so i just waited around in the warm sun untild a bunch of humanoid creatures started coming down the hill #i think they were supposed to be bosses or smth but none of them are in gnshn even tho we were def in mond or liyue by this point #and they all had different colored faces but anyway my friend was like 'THIS IS WHY WE HAVE TO DEFEAT ALL THE HILICHURLS!!!'#'BECAUSE IF WE DON'T THEN THEY'RE JUST BUYING TIME FOR *THESE GUYS* TO COME!!!!'#n i was like 'oh shit!!' n we started fighting them n they were really tanky but we got most of them except for the blue one #and so i went back to the haunted diner place n entered it as a human n went upstairs where i found the author in my dreams #n she said that we couldn't talk long bc the blue guy was after me but she'd distract it by joining its side #and also there was like this whole subplot in between abt like uhhh exchanging love for power i think? idk i don't remember rn #i just remember that the author temporarily exchanged some of her like. goodwill or smth to buy me time to prepare for my fight #with the blue guy and so i hiding in the bathroom listened w my ear pressed against the wall as she became corrupted n then it was #my turn to fight the blue guy n i opened up the door n stuff but then i woke up :c #anyway so that was MY dream diary for today everyone leave your own recent dreams in the replies and we can have a discussion lol #花話

3 notes · View notes

naggingatlas · 1 year

Text

i looove putting spark over songs about like heroes and saving the world (tom cardy's 'level clear', uncle outrage's 'saved the world' <- nice voice hc for him!. and 'my superhero movie'.) when he like. Did. Not : ) funney.

#sprksplrs #gaia talked about spark wanting to be desired yesterday and while i think he's too much of a Lone Wolf... for those kinds of wants to #even surface. at least in my interpretation of him. its hilarious to think abt him getting. just a tad insecure abt fark's status as #a real like. superhero basically. just for a second in the far back of his head. oh i want to be as cool as him. im not good enough #tho again in my characterization he only wants to do that to be able to love himself. i first got this thought when ruminating on #oh god. what kinda games he n fark like to play respectively? and said 'if he ever does pick up hardmode or a challenge level #he will only do that to one up himself and himself only.' he only proves stuff to himself. he only cares about himself.#and the things that do the most mental damage to him are all scenarios in which his self is attacked.#in which his agency is taken his independence. losing a job to someone something that copies him and does it better than him #something that even copies a really dear object to him thats been with him throughout the years - his jester hat #an attack on individuality. and then being merged into the sim. idk. the yaoi moments when he does work together w fark become even more #potent. this way? and. it contrasts really well with how selfless (at some point in his life very literally) fark is. and how confident in #his self. he turns out to be in the end. as micah said 'how he moves with so much more fluidity in his organic body #the body he created himself because he's no longer afraid of it being fake'. citing that as the bible but yea kinda.#i think spark grew up quite ostracized maybe even self-ostracized and really needs a distinction between himself and everyone else #to be better than everyone else. there is some personality disorder shit happening under that piss yellow scalp.#and he fucking loses it when the events around him hammer in that the facade he builds for mostly again himself is. yknow. untrue. fake.#idk thoughts. i love exploring the antisocial aspect in fictional personas with how shipshipship focused fandoms and 'analysis'#in them is it's not something i see all that much. seems like only people whove experienced it ever bring up that topic.#is it so uncomfortable for others? who knows. ramble over

5 notes · View notes

munamania · 1 year

Text

i. HATE!!!!!!!! that i feel like i can’t have boundaries with this lady without reinforcing the belief that i’m not good enough to be working on this. as if she’s not the one being rude and pushy and intrusive. i don’t think she has much sway or that it will affect me much in the future but it sucks anyway

#i feel like i can't fully exhale. like.#it'll be so much easier when it's over but things are just not good today!!!!#i had this shitty ass dream about film girl and one of her best friends and confronting her and it made me feel like i was in like #high school again being pathetic with my ex and like EYE was the one completely in the wrong. then my sister told me she was conservative #in the dream and was litchrally talking like my dad. then i wake up so tired and already have an email from that lady #im stressed as hell feel like i can't even move or function trying to get something to her #get shit feedback on another project that it wasnt even my fault flopped. i pitched the idea i did what i could to fix this dude's #terrible camera settings i tried to fucking direct it and it just wasnt working. and that kid ugh he's fine outside of this context #but he pisses me off being a stem kid like oh well this class is like fun for me lol idek why you're so stressed. not that he said that #but just u know that film shit isn't as serious and there's not way we could get as overworked as the stem kids. annoying!#and again this video is making me want to die i haven't heard back on something im producing for and if it'll work #im nearly a week late submitting a paper i never started i havent gone to my morning lecturei n over a week and dk if my grade #will recover with all my absences. and if it's even worth trying to salvage. my roommates are making me homicidal and #i just need someone to hold me i think and let me like nap on them. lol. but instead i will be at work under these awful flourescents #barely able to work on the video since we're not technically allowed to use headphones. and not wanting to do anything else...#abby talks

5 notes · View notes

heatobrienswife · 1 year

Text

.

#i think my boy sheffie might have arthritis in one of his back legs #he's been limping n last night couldn't hop into his hammock #he is just over/under 2 years old now they do only last round that long #my babies are getting old :c #shut up rattie no one gives a shit lol

3 notes · View notes

milo-is-rambling · 1 year

Text

Nothing like some light substance abuse to really make you feel like a child again

#me sitting in my room shaking in silence after turning all my lights off quickly and locking my bedroom door and holding my breath as my #mother turns the light on outside to let the dog out and the light between the blinds comes pouring into my rook #on the carpet I see her shadow as she walks past #minutes feel like hours as I wait for her to sulk away back to her cave. I open my bedroom door to sneak away to the bathroom and the light #from the kitchen is visible in the hallway. this feels like a personal attack when you’re a child sneaking around in the late hours. it #feels like we’re two mountain lions claiming territory in this house and you are cornering me in my bedroom just like when I was a child #I am typing this from under three blankets layered over each other to hide the light from my screen (with reduced white point) just in case #my mother walks outside near my window or near my bedroom door.#I feel so connected to my childhood self right now. sitting in the dark room with the only light coming from one window with the blinds draw #n. just the outline of each individual blind. and the light pouring in from under a locked bedroom door. if she knocks you have to answer.#if you don’t answer she will unlock it herself. locks never meant privacy in my home. I remember that clearly.#there was a lock on my childhood bedroom in my house in Maine. locked from the outside not the inside. they could lock me in but I couldn’t #lock anyone out. to be fair I had a habit of getting up in the middle of the night sneaking to the kitchen and eating slices of processed #individually wrapped cheese slices while watching horrifying shows like oobi and the fucking one with the band of four ppl they were all a #different colored instrument #idk anyways. there was a lock on my bedroom on the outside and I remember waking up in the morning before anyone else and playing in my room #and reading and waiting for like a half an hour every morning for someone to wake up and decide they had the energy to come deal with me #so that’s fun. undiagnosed adhd core.#coming out of whatever high trance I just had where I was connected to all of that childhood terror of being seen by my mother. I was afraid #of being caught even though I was doing nothing wrong. I was constantly afraid of something I did not have any reason to be afraid of.#it felt like at any moment I could be wrong place wrong timed with my mother and suddenly feel like the worst person ever. and I’m sure that #demanded a lot of attention and made her pull away from dealing with me I mean she had just lost her job and was running her own business #now and she was stressed and broke and trying to keep it together and I’m sure I was running around under her feet or my brother and I were #arguing but idk I just feel like I don’t remember anything from my childhood and what I do remember is being afraid of everything and is #that some emotional thing or is that just I have been anxious my entire life and no one cared until I was literally trying to kill my sled #self fucking autocorrect #anyways.#I think my mother has gone to bed so I’m going to slink into my own bathroom and maybe throw up a little 👍 I am excited to see what the fuck #I wrote here when I reread it tomorrow

5 notes · View notes