#i did this to myself btw. i didnt need to start yelling about that but thats just how it is with nart

[lecliss]

Sakura gets a second point for being the first to complete the tree climbing at being better at chakra control, but at the same time it just feels like she was made good at it so no extra training segment time would have to be put into her getting good at it and it can be all about Sauce and Nart. Idk that feels too pessimistic but also could totally be true.

[meadery]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH (dats me yelling)

idc if none of this makes sense im not proof reading this is coming straight out of my mind right this very second

okay well today started off not so good i woke up feeling extremely off and nothing i did made me feel better. so i have that going for me. also woke up with this fucking terrible pain in my arm, it feels like a sharp needle is constantly poking me. not sure what’s wrong with that. anyway a little later i got busy and decided oooh now that the weather has gotten better i should put some flags outside for spring time.

so outside i go and accidentally lock myself out of the house. i was so fucking mad and panicked because 1) did not have my phone on me 2) i was about to get my grocery order and my money was inside 3) i had just shut my cat inside one of my rooms. i did that because he has bad anxiety and gets super scared when i get grocery orders. i just put him elsewhere so he doesn’t have to see any of it, but it was scary in that moment bc i didnt know how long he would be without his necessities [he was fine btw] 4) i was freezing my tits off and didn’t have a jacket

well i start making the 2 mile walk to my grandmothers house to grab my spare key but realize tide is coming up and the roads will be out of commission by the time i get there. so i turn around and try knocking on my neighbors doors to borrow a phone & call my grandma but none of them were home. i wait around outside for a while and see one of them pull up and go figure its the person who lives alllll the way at the end of the street. lol i started running, i was sprinting down that fucking road so fast a trail of dust was behind me ekfjdkdnf thankfully he let me use his phone and i got to call my grandma. all of this took up like… over an hour i think

my groceries get delivered before my grandmother got me my keys but the guy delivering them thankfully gave them to me anyway and said i could give him the money next time i see him. not long after my grandma pulls up with keys AND a coconut pie that she made earlier this morning. she’s the best fr!!

take my groceries inside to start unpacking them only to realize that one of the boxes is not from my order. on top of that realization, i have a second realization: the box i am missing has my receipt and extra cash inside. i have to send a cash estimate of how much my groceries will be, i try to send a little extra just in case my calculations are off. so that meant i had at least $50+ floating around out there (it ended up being $80-something!!!) and wasn’t sure if i was going to see that money again or ever get to see a big chunk of my groceries.

i take the box of groceries that isn’t mine and venture out into the world to see if i can find the address on the box. thankfully i ran into the guy who delivered my groceries and he was able to help me track down what was missing

get back home and start putting my groceries away, i go to bend over and my back did not like the way i bent and something in it pulled so hard i yelped like a fucking animal.

so now i’m kind of just stuck here sitting in a chair until my back decides it wants to feel better. i’m playing rdr2 to try and make myself feel better and it is working somewhat. but christ it’s just been one thing after the next… my nerves have been up for hours and my body feels tired from the stress. i know none of this shit is catastrophic, but life hasn’t been very good to me lately. it’s been quite awful actually. and all these little things… just thrown at me one after the next, it’s just built up and i feel sooooooooo beyond over it all. i’m tired of life big time. i need a break

[silberpilz]

Yo

Big fuckin Rant down here i needed a place to vent please feel free to just skip this i need to yell into the void

Ah yes btw mentions of very much not good mental health i had

Idk i can't believe the two weeks i waited at least a month for just are over. Just like that. And life just goes on and i have to work again and i hate work. I feel bored and empty. I want to create but cant manage to do more than doodles or a few words, if i even do it. Also i just know my pains will never really go away.

Ghaaahhh i'm sorry for being such a sorrowball again but idk what else to do about it. It could be way worse of course and i'm thankful it's not (yet) but man. I just want to be happy. All i could think about in my last week of vacation (in which i got sick anyway) was that i just fucking LOATHE having to work full time. I hate it so much. Why do i have to spend most of my concious day and most of my energy just to get not even a actual employees amount of money (i'm still a trainee) and i still have to do it for almost 2 further years. 2. YEARS! Why does it take so long!!! If i didnt have Abitur it would be even longer!!!!!

Ok since this is escalating anyway:

I know i tried my best in trying and failing so many times trying to get into a profession within my actual interests but damn. Did it leave a mark on me. I am exhausted. I feel like i wasted so so much time. Got to repeat 10th class 2 times, uni was trash, design college didnt want me, gardening was good but my bosses started to treat me like trash for some reason and having to scoot there during winter made me freeze before and after work in a way that would make icicles blush and i just wanted to fucking end it and it was very hard to not give up to these thoughts. Then i tried to get into my towns bookstores and one of them didnt even let me do a test internship and the second one all of a sudden had someone else who was sooooo much more better and knowledgable about literature than me i FUCKING GUESS. Then i had a minijob, trying to get into some creative and cultural field of study again but hey. Times running out. Would i even have a future with that stuff. Working on a pprtfolio would take time. I need work right now RIGHT NOW OR ELSE MY FUTURE WILL BE IN SHAMBLES FOREVER (thanks mom and dad) And now i'm here. It could be worse. My bosses are nice, the stuff i deal with is kinda interesting. But well. Its retail. And all my direct coworkers are some 40+ yo women who are way too snarky and nosy at times. All the more friendly coworkers or the ones my age are either in the forge or in another floor and they work different jobs. Like i said it could be way way worse and i'm thankful its not. But i'm just not happy. I constantly long for more. And i'm so tired all the time. As i'm starting to age into adulthood, all of this gets into my body and recently also into my nervous system.

I just want to hang out with my friends again. I just want to have fun and not worry. I want to have energy and independency. But to achieve that, i have to push through all of this. I can't give up again, sadly.

Maybe one day i can express myself more freely again, worry less, have more free time and still be able to pay rent. And my back will hurt less. And i can help others more effectively.

[blackvail22]

when someone at work asks me if i had a good christmas, i wouldnt be able to lie. its only 2 hours into the fucking day, and i am contemplating hurting myself

how am i supposed to tell them that?

"oh... um... its like that every holiday, ahaha...."

"i dont have a very stable family"

thats a good one... "i dont have a very stable family"

she said shes miserable because she's around me. she told me that the fact that im breathing is just wrong

well im fucking sorry im alive

i was too much of a fucking coward all those years ago

and even then, youd call me a coward for giving you what you want

i can never fucking win

"did you have a good christmas?"

"um... not really..."

"oh, im sorry to hear that! why not?"

....

"oh, well, my mom told me that the fact im alive is a disgrace to her because i didnt take my scissors and tape to my bedroom. and then when i did, i got yelled at because she 'obviously needs them'. and then she said she wasnt going to wrap anything after i gave her my tape and scissors.... i wrapped the rest of my sisters and brother-in-laws gifts like i told her i would, but i didnt wrap the gifts that are for me. so, she told me trash, and she kept trying to guilt trip me into doing it and feeling bad by saying 'oh youre not wrapping your gifts? so youre not getting anything for christmas?' when 3 minutes earlier she said she wasnt going to wrap anything, and it could all stay in the boxes it came in. and after all that, she is wrapping the gifts that she said she wasnt going to wrap, so telling me to die and calling me trash was really all for nothing, anyway. in the end, my mom was being like my mom which makes me want to kill myself each time. how was yours?"

i was on the phone with my friends through all of that. i dont think they heard my mom at all, but at the end when she got mad at me for not wrapping my gifts, i finally broke down and like cried.... and i was like silent crying for a while but it was all starting to get worse so i had to tell my friends (oh this includes my boyfriend btw) that i was going to sleep in my, like, best "im not crying" voice (which they believed apparently because neither said anything about it)

and it makes me so sad

i was just having fun with my friends and my boyfriend, when a sudden insult from my mom turned everything around.

i truly just want to have one day where i dont want to die this week PLEASE

whatever. ill wake up in about 4 hours and have... such... a good.... day....

[lavender--fairy]

"I Shifted!!"

OKAY OKAY So i just got back from like 2 months from my dr (1 hour=1 week in my dr) I really wasn't gonna come back but i promised myself that i'd come back to tell you guys so here i am!! 🔮My dr🔮 So in my dr i live in the dorm of stray kids(a kpop band) and i will eventually get famous and end up being an actual celeb. i am a Fashion student btw. And i am also friends with other bands.i also have super powers cause why not. Plus if i have an AI in my mind names Jarvis and when i ask him stuff he answers and helps me with everything. 🦋How i shifted 🦋 So i was really mad last night cause everytime i tried to shift i'd sleep and wake up in this reality. i literally yelled at the universe and was like "i am not waking up in this reality anymore bye" and went to bed but fell asleep again. then i woke up in the middle of night after like 30 mins and then i started affirming that i was in my dr and fell asleep(that was the last thing on my mind when i fell asleep) i slept in the feeling of wish fulfilled. (reminder you dont need to be mad to shift lmao) ✨When i woke up✨ I was kinda awake but didn't wanted to wake up, and then my eyes just opened all of a sudden (i scripted that my eyes will open automatically when i fully shift) i saw that my blanket was different and i was like "wait what" i woke up and saw around and was super confused but when i realized that it was my dr bedroom I LITERALLY WAS LIKE AHHHHHH!! i did reality checks to see if i was dreaming but it felt so real like OMG, i literally buried my face in a pillow and screamed. i started looking around my room and i was the most excited about my closet cause i planned what it'd look like. when i checked it had alll the outfits and i was so excited to wear them!! i literally sat there going crazy for a while and then a thought hit me "so you are telling me that when i go through that door THE REAL stray kids will just be outside?? like just chilling?? omgg" I realized about Jarvis so i said "Jarvis?" and i tell you i heard "yes master, may i help you?" I WAS SOO SHOOK OMGGG !! I went out to see Channie oppa (im sorry it feels weird without honorifications now lol) and he saw me and said "oh the princess is finally awake huh?" i literally said "ARE YOU REAL??" and he laughed and pinched his cheeks and said "i mean i think so??" he said he bought some strawberries cause i asked him to and i was like "th-thank you" i brushed, took a shower,wore my fit, and then i got a call from niki from enhypen( a band again) he said to come over and i said "i didnt even eat my breakfast yet" he said we were eating breakfast and Jake oppa said "it feels like someone is missing" and everyone said oh yeah -my name- is missing so they ordered food for me too and want me to come over. i was like okay so he said he's come to pick me up. i literally kept taking pictures of everything cause it was my first day after shifting yk lmao. (its getting too long but i'll make another post if you want me to) YOU GUYS SHIFT!! ITS THE BEST EXPERIENCE OF ALL TIMES!! DONT GIVE UP YOU WILL SHIFT!!

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[blxetsi]

Hi there! I love your work!! So I know this sounds a little niche but, could we get headcanons for a reader in a polyamorous relationship with Hange and Miche please? Hope you’re having a really good day!

NO BEXAUSE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEINE TO REQUEST POLYAMOROUS STUFF OMGGGGG 😭 ty for your service anon it means a lot 😔🙏

hange and mike dating headcanons (canonverse)

zoë hange x gn!reader x mike zacharias

warnings: polyamorous relationship, and titans ??, reader is kinda innocent ?? like just easily wound up

also this is going to be SO fucking long and focused on hange for the first long bit sorry !

btw this isnt rlly dating headcanons so much as backstory, how you met, and shit leading up to actually getting together i went so fucking overboard and went the complete opposite way of what you asked ill do a part two with ACTUAL dating headcanons if youd like anon just tell me and ill do it

- i think you wouldve worked for garrison originally

- in season one when hange started the experiments on sawney and bean thats when you would've met them

- you had been a big fan of their research studies for a while, so being in front of someone you thought was so cool was a little nerve wracking

- you had just became newly appointed as a captain for a garrison squad, being one of the youngest recruits to get the position, which also meant some people thought you couldnt handle the job

- you were good at telling others what to do, and guiding them when needed, you took over the leader role very quickly, you had to if you wanted to keep the position

- although you thought you were a good leader, others didnt

- specifically older members of garrison who thought because you were so young, youd be naive

- and since you were a garrison captain, you worked closely with hange and moblit during their experiments

- any request they made for supplies or anything, went through you and youd get it for them

- they needed more help ? youre requesting three soldiers to the experimentation zone immediately. anything they needed you helped with, because you liked helping

- hange had quickly grown fond of you, they were so thankful that you were so willingly to have your squad help them. you remember the brunette grabbing your hand and saying "thank you for your dedication to this project and to science !" while bowing multiple times

- as unsanitary and childish as it was,,, you didnt wash that hand for a day

- hange saw how some members of your squad treated you, and it may have irked them a bit

- causing them to rant to moblit while writing down research data

- "hange." "i just dont get it, why dont they say anything ? theyre so nice so why dont people respect them like they should-" "hange !" "what ?!" "youre writing down captain l/n's name on your page !" "so what ?!- wait what" this causes a night of bickering between the two of them 😐🤚

- when sawney and bean died hange was devastated. you had grown to like the section commander as a friend and respected them greatly, so to see their hardwork and research all go down the drain was hard

- you immediately went into leader mode and started ordering your squad around "listen up ! i want this whole perimeter checked and searched for any evidence to help us find out who did this." a couple members groaned, and one man, who was in his early thirties made a comment about it. "theyre just stupid fucking titans. we're supposed to kill them, not keep them alive for some freak to experiment on them."

- yknow,, looking back on it maybe you shouldnt have went off on them the way you did, but you did because not only was the man questioning your authority and orders, he was blatantly disrespecting a section commander. "i am your captain. i am your leader. you will respect me, and you will listen to me. you either do i say or youll be suspended and taken off my squad immediately. and that goes for everyone ! do i make myself clear ?" you shouted. the man who had talked back raised his eyebrows, youd never once yelled or demanded things be done in a manner like this, and it clearly shocked him when you stood up for yourself.

- a bunch of murmurs came from your squad and you dismissed them, but not before stepping in front of your soldier in front of everyone. "between you and me ? you should be discharged for not only your blatant disrespect and defiance to me for months now, but also for your innapropriate and degrading comments about section commander hange. you wanna pull some shit like this in the future, not just to me but to anybody ? you should kiss your position in garrison squad goodbye, since youre too childish to keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself. now grow the fuck up and go do what ive asked please." the man looked scared as he stared at you, no one had seen you act like this before, his jaw clenched as he nodded and walked off, the rest of your squad dispersing with him

- you didnt notice hange calling your name until you felt their hand on your shoulder. you turned around and saw their sympathetic gaze on you. "thank you for defending me. are you okay ?"

- you rubbed the back of your neck and answered. "honestly ? i feel kind of bad, like i embarassed him or something." the survey corps leader tilted their head back as they laughed. "youre so kind y/n, but im proud of you." the comment, although lighthearted, struck a cord with you

- a couple days later you were requested to meet with not only the section commander but commander smith, as well as your superior, dot pixis

- the meeting only lasted about thirty minutes, but hange had boasted about not only your leadership skills but also your knowledge and ideas on various sciences. erwin decided to offer you a position to work under hange, and dot pixis agreed to have you transferred to the survey corps if you agreed.

- did your decision have to do with your crush on hange ? maybe. would you ever admit it ? no.

- pixis explained to you that youd be honorably disharged from the garrison regiment before being moved to the scouts' headquarters in trost

- you surprisingly got along well with others there. working in hanges squad was fun, and even though you were demoted from a captain back to a cadet you didnt mind

- hange had offered to share as much knowledge as they could with you, which led you to be in their office (as messy as it was) after work hours

- and thats where you met mike

- well, got to know him

- hange introduced you two when you first joined and the first thing the section commander did was NOT shake the hand you held out for him but to lean down and sniff around your hair and neck

- your face felt hot as you stuttered over your words, thrown off by his,,, unique, greeting

- hange and laughed and lightly pushed him away, before explaining to you that thats just what mike did

- back to being in hanges office

- for nights on end youd stay up together in their office, two chairs huddled beside one another while you read through books of research, not just from hange but from published scientists and anthropologists too

- mike had started joining you two only three days after you and hange started

- he would stay quiet, but would sit next to hange making them be sandwiched by the two of you

- after that you started to notice him more often

- down the halls he'd send you a small smile, which you brightly returned

- sometimes he'd be in charge of training that day, and he would wordlessly help you position your arms to properly block or punch when sparring with other members

- then he started bringing tea when he would come and listen to you and hange discuss different theories, articles and information together

- you didnt even know the two were dating until you accidentally walked in on them in hange's office

- they werent doing anything dirty, just giving each other a kiss, but you had walked in on them with a stack of papers captain levi told you to give to hange.

- you kinda,, stood there, slackjawed, while the two pulled apart slowly to look at you. hange had a mischievous grin on their face while mike just gave you a blank stare

- you dropped the papers. the stack of documents levi tasked you to give to hange. you dropped them. How Embarassing.

- your face began to feel hot not just from seeing them but also because youre embarassing yourself by dropping the papers and just standing there like an IDIOT

- "uh,,, i- captain levi said to give you those documents you requested." your voice cracked at the end making you wince

- "you mean the documents that are spread out on my floor now ?" hange asked. you looked between them and the floor, then at mike, then back to the floor than back at hange. "yes." you said, and you could feel that warmth in your face spreading to your ears now too. "im sorry." you exclaimed, your voice sounding strained as you quickly walked backwords and closed the door in front of you

- you started avoiding hange and mike after that, and became hyper aware of everything that they did. they were TAUNTING YOU 🙄 you could feel it

- instead of small smiles in the halls, after you started ducking your head down when you saw mike, he would now give you head pats when you crossed him

- hange would let their hand linger on your shoulder or side as they shuffled past you during meetings or experiments, and would come closer than usual when handing you documents

- mike would give you teasing smiles when you got your ass handed to you during sparring

- and finally you were fed up ! did this count as workplace harassment ? you didnt know but you wanted answers ! so you went to the source, hange's room after dinner

- you didnt bother knocking, you just walked in with your eyes closed

- hange giggled, "what are you doing y/n ?" "making sure im not walking into something i shouldnt be seeing, section commander." "by that do you mean the kiss mike and i shared ?" "yes." "well we're not kissing right now." they said, and you peaked one eye open to be sure they werent lying, and they werent !

mike stood up from his chair and slowly made his way past you, closing the door. you took a deep breath before throwing all of your word vomit on blond and brunette duo. "so i dont know why you guys think teasing me like this is fun, but it isnt. it makes me flustered and nervous and feel weird and im not sure if it counts as abuse of power but i dont like it so it needs to stop." you huffed in a big breath of air after saying all of that, and hange rested their head in their hands.

"y/n do you have a crush on me ?" they asked. their voice was soft but they still had that stupid smile on their face. you could feel your face getting warmer by the second. your mouth opened and closed but no words came out.

" i uh, im gonna leave now." you turned around but hit something hard, and looked up at mike looking down on you, a smirk on his face. he put his hands on your shoulders and turned you back around to hange, walking the two of you over to their desk. he gave you a slight push, causing you to put your hands on the desk and lean on it, while mike kept his hands on you to keep you from running.

hange leaned into you, your noses barely touching. "i only ask because, mike and i have grown very fond of you." they said. you nodded a little bit, the tips of your noses brushing against each other.

"yeah well, id be a little sad if my superiors didnt like me, that would be kind of bad." you replied.

"can i kiss you ?" they asked.

and now is when your brain really stops functioning. thoughts fill your mind of mike and his relationship to hange. are they actually together or is it a friends with benefits kind of thing ?

"i uh, i cant kiss you." you replied, a bit breathlessly caused by both section commanders.

"why not y/n ?"

"well i'm not a cheater, or a homewrecker. i mean i assume that you and mike are together so, im not going to kiss someone in a relationship." you stammered out. this was making you very nervous, butterflies errupting in your stomach. you knew they were just teasing you, goofing around to make you flustered, but a part of you hoped youd be able to kiss hange, and maybe mike for that matter.

they chuckled a bit, before their brown eyes looking behind you to mike's towering form. "honey, can you tell y/n its okay if they kiss me ?" they asked. mike let out a small laugh through his nose before leaning down.

"only if y/n promises to give me a kiss afterwards." he whispered. he pressed a faint kiss to your temple, and you shivered from the contact. he was warm, very warm, and even though it was such a small amount of contact it did so many things to you.

you gulped before bringing your eyes back to hange. you looked to their eyes, and then to their lips, and continued that pattern silently in hopes theyd understand. you didnt want to be teased anymore ! you wanted something to happen.

hange got the hint and smirked, before leaning in again and lightly brushing her lips against yours. theirs were soft compared to mikes chapped ones, and the kiss was so slow, so innocent, it had you leaning in for more. it was a slow, lazy kiss, a kiss to test the waters, it helped calm your nerves, but also made your nerved explode with heat.

finally the researched pulled away, and put their hands on your cheeks, squishing them to pucker your lips, before giving a kiss to your forehead, nose and lips one last time. they let go with a soft smile on their face, and a blush of their own.

you could feel mike press his body down against yours, making your knees buckle slightly. he took his right hand off your shoulder to place it on hange's cheek, thumbing over the red pigmentation. he then turned your head up and to the side, before giving you a kiss of his own. this one was a bit more dominating, hard. his chapped lips scratched against your own but you didnt mind. in a weird way it made you feel at ease, having him take control of it, the same way hange did but his was just more, needy.

he pulled back with a shaky breath and looked at you before looking at hange. "so y/n," hange began. they stood up and made their way around the table, mike pulling himself and you up straight so hange could sit on the edge, pulling you in to stand between their legs. being sandwiched in between mike and hange made you so aware of them, and even though you were very new to something like this you felt weirdly safe and secure. "mike and i genuinely care about you, and we want to be with you the way that we're with each other. would you like that ?"

honestly, how could you say no ?

thats it again im sorry the anon who requested this you did not get what you asked for 😭😭😭😭 hope u all enjoyed requests r open stay safe

[kageyamas-love]

hi! can i request some fluff with kageyama? the idea is kageyama have a childhood friend crush and she likes him back, how they confess to each other?

more than friends?

kageyama x reader

a/n: YESS i love this:)) i decided to give this my own little twist so i hope this is alright:) btw this is going to be a fem reader! also this took ages i’m sorry i had so much writers block

warnings: a hint of angst. only for like 3 seconds tho dw:)) and a bit of swearing.

-

you’d always been kageyama’s friend.

ever since the day that you’d moved next door to him. he and his grandpa had introduced themselves by bringing over a dinner, and instantly the two of you were inseperable. the volleyball play dates, various sleepovers at least twice a month. even telling eachother your biggest secrets.

the feelings he’d grown for you grew stronger as the years went on. however, it’d also take years for him to finally realize that these were romantic.

the very first time he confronted these feelings was in the third grade. your crush on one of the popular boys in his class angered him. what was so good about this boy anyway? it especially enraged him when you came running to him at the end of recess, multiple tears streaming down your face as you told him the news that he’d rejected you. he concluded that he’d only cared because you were his best friend, right?

the second time was in middle school. he’d recently been given the name ‘king of the court’. he had also only recently understood the true definition behind the title. kageyama was noticing how his long-term teammates and friends started to distance themselves from him to avoid his sour attitude. everyone, except you. you’d meet up with him after his practice, bringing him a milk carton and a pork bun, greeting him with your usual smile. you’d walk home with him, and he’d always wonder why? why would you want to be friends with the tyrant king of the court? the boy who’d pushed everyone away? why did you stay?

it was during this time that he started acknowledging little things about you. the really small things. how you’d hum a certain tune depending on what you were doing. the way you would subtly bite your lip when something bothered you. the few freckles that dotted your face like a faint constellation. how witnessing your smile instantly made his day a million times better.

he didnt realize at these times, but he loved you.

one day, you surprised him at one of his volleyball matches. it’d been a few months that you both attended karasuno. you’d told him you couldn’t come, but really just wanted to surprise him.

you had let their managers, kyoko and yachi, know that you were surprising the setter. the former only smirked, and you had seated yourself next to yachi in the stands.

it didn’t take long for kageyama to notice you, considering you were the loudest one in there. and, when he did, the biggest blush bloomed on his face. suga noticed right away, a smug look on his face as he yelled, “kageyama! focus on the game, not your girlfriend!” leading the rest of the team to whip there heads in kageyama’s direction, many finding kageyama’s expression hilarious. “sh-she’s not my girlfriend!”

this was the incident that forced kageyama to wonder, what exactly were you to him? the comment suga made shouldn’t have bothered him this much if you were only friends, right?

you noticed kageyamas started to act strange around you. he seemed more closed off, and distant. when you tried to talk to him, he’d come up with an excuse to leave you. it wasnt that he was trying to offend you, it was just that he was scared that if you got too close to him, you could hear the hammering beat of his chest, or the scarlet coloured blush that coated his face when he saw your smiles.

being the oblivious boy he was, he had no idea how bad he was actually hurting you. who wouldn’t be hurt if the boy you loved was suddenly avoiding you like the plague?

it wasn’t until he asked you to copy your homework one day that he realized how bad he messed up.

he turned towards you, holding a nervous smile, avoiding eye contact. “hey f/n, can i copy your homework please?” to this, your response was to roll your eyes. “oh. so now you want to talk to me? why not go ask someone else,” and, if it was on purpose, right as he was about to retort, the bell rang, and you stormed out of the classroom, not even bothering to spare a glance to the disoriented boy. he simply sat there, trying to process what the hell just happened.

his first thought was to try and find you, but he was smart enough to realize maybe you didnt want to talk to him. so, plan b was to ask suga.

suga raised his eyebrow. “l/n’s mad at you?” kageyama nodded. the two were in the corner of the gym, whilst most of the other boys were busy practicing. the boy wanted to get back to practice, but he couldn’t focus unless he fixed things with you.

“well what happened?” kageyama then proceeded to explain what he knew. suga’s eyes widened at the realization. “you’re an idiot. obviously if you’ve been avoiding her she’s going to be upset with you.”

“well i can’t help it! every time i try to talk to her my heart beats so fast! i can’t even form words and i just sound stupid!” he defended. suga face palmed. “you need to tell her how you feel. or else you’re going to screw things up even more.” kageyama blinked, and suga groaned, having enough with the day’s share of first years. “kageyama, you like her.”

so now, here he was. knocking on your bedroom window at 8 in the evening. opening your curtains, you were startled to see kageyama there. you narrowed your eyes, before opening your window. “what?” you asked, the sass in your voice almost venomous. he took the opportunity to climb into your room. you quickly became flustered, realizing that this was the first time in a while that he’d actually been there.

he sat down on your bed, watching your floor. you crinkled your brows. “hello? are you just going to ignore me? again?” kageyama cringed, feeling the hurt in your voice as you sighed and sat down on your desk chair. you watched him, waited for him to speak. but he didn’t. “look, tobio, i don’t know what’s been going on with you, but you’ve been so different-“ “please if you just let me explain myself,” he interrupted you, rubbing his palms on his thighs. he suddenly felt very nervous. the pep talk he gave himself minutes before long forgotten. you silenced yourself, instead focusing on the boy.

he took a deep breath, his gaze now snapping towards you, trying his all to look at you in the eyes, only to look away again. “so basically- i wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings or anything but lately whenever i’m around you i just get really nervous and stuff- and suga said i liked you? and it makes sense but- but i thought it was weird because we’re best friends so you definitely would like me back- ugh! i don’t know” he stammered, hiding his face in his hands. he suddenly felt the your hands wrap around his wrists, before pulling them down, he was met with the widest smile he’d ever seen habituated on your face. “you like me?!” you cheered, and immediately kageyamas face reddened. “uh- wait did i really just say that?” he stuttered, before noticing your expression. “why are you smiling?! this isn’t funny-“ before he could finish, you interrupted him. “tobio! are you dumb?! i obviously like you back, dumbass.” he froze immediately, brows raising. “you do?” you nodded your head, and one of kageyama’s rare smiles showed. not the scary ones that he usually had plastered on his face, but a real, genuine one.

“sooo... wanna be my girlfriend?”

back to masterlist

[zealoushowtofashionturkey]

The private web blog

3/15/22 Dear blog im starting this web blog to get my stupid emotions out and cause im taking you on a journey with me.

So basically today i woke up at 4 am like i always do and did by routine went to my bus stop and went to school math class was so boring cause he just talks yells at us and talks to us about 3D shapes and yells at us some more than i had social studies and had a test went to lunch me and my friends are in the bathroom cause it's fun and then we got in trouble then recess and we snuck in the bathroom and talked used our phones then i had ELA it was boring i made a essay about these two articles and in class there's this boy who is a little big and he has a dark dirty neck and we were laughing about it saying its a disease and then we got really itchy saying it was the disease and then we put on lotion then we had science it was boring we did a project and i did it with my best friend and another person

I got back home and i asked my mom to get me this gau sha and face roller and aztec mask and african black soap she said no and i got really mad and didnt talk to her and btw i was wearing her high heel boots she found them in my bag yelled at me i hate her sometimes she just ruins my life sometimes and treats me like SH!T and i wish she was younger caus she is 52 with a 12 year old and all my other friends perents are are 30 and younger i just wish i got to live the real luife of a child who has a cool chill mom like i mean regina georges mom type of chill but shes just rich with a husbad whos a golddigger and my brother cam back from milatary school and he is so annoying like go back and i have a 25 year old sister she turns 26 tomorrow and i just wish she can move out cause she has no money and ruined my 12 birthday i really hate all my family members i wish i was an only ciled so i can kill myself so i can end the whole bloodline then and there ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i jus want to be treated with care and my mom is old rich and mean iv tried so hard to act ughhh i wish my mom could give me what i want sh has the money for it just give it to me 

Anyways this day is coming to an end and i need to finish this bye

[beeluvsbunni]

hi

this shit long

tw: drugging, kidnapping, manupilation, i think age regression? i dont know if i wrote this well enough for it to be considered age regression, im so sorry if this would be considered offensive <33

inspo: none lmao my brain is just big

imagine wilbur gets tired of tommy trying to stop him from jd'ing everyone so he tries to drug tommy so he just sleeps through everything and tommy is terrified. tommy is running through a forest and runs into techno. he collaspes into technos arms and begins to sob into his chest about how wilburs trying to drug him and how scared he is of him.

techno begins to run his hand through tommys hair and comforts him softly, rubbing his back slowly and whispering to him. wilbur calls out for tommy and tommy tells techno that they need to run away somewhere. techno sighs and just grips tommy tighter, and yells for wilbur, telling him where they are. tommy panics and begins to scream and kick and cries harder, and techno lightly kisses his forehead while wilbur sticks a needle in his neck and injects the drugs.

tommy stomps on technos foot (not that harshly cause drugs) and tries to run. he goes as fast as possible (about a third of how fast he was running before cause drugs) and eventually collaspes against a tree. wilbur hums while picking him up and techno just watches. tommy just gives up and sobs into wilburs shoulder while wilbur slowly rubs him back to comfort him. they make it back to the ravine and wilbur lazily ties tommys wrists together and he and techno stay with tommy as he eventually passes out. dream shows up just as tommy is about to fall asleep and all tommy can hear dream say is 'goodnight kid. you guys ready to go?'

bonus points if schlatt finds him and takes care of him during his coma

okay have some more things that happen cause i like details.

as wilbur picks up tommy and he gives up and goes limp while sobbing, dream starts following them but tbh that doesnt need to be included.

wilbur ties tommys hands behind his back.

as tommy begins to pass out, techno and wilbur both coo at the sight of his eyes drooping and him getting tired.

you can add this or not tbh i just like platonic cuddles, wilbur lays down with tommy as he passes out and plays with his hair.

as tommy loses consciousness, he forgets what just happened and tells 'wil' and 'techie' that he loves them (OW HURT MYSELF THERE)

while caring for tommy, schlatt lets tubbo visit him a bunch. he normally walks in on tubbo cuddling with tommy, making him flowers crowns, or just talking to tommy about his day.

tubbo still believes that tommy can hear him. tommy can. which means he hears niki and fundy make up, eret and dream casually talk shit about eachother, sapnap and george fighting *all the time*, phil coming to visit him and crying everytime, and wilbur and techno apologizing. and schlatt and dream and literally everyone else of the server beating up wil and tech.

OW I HURTED MYSELF WITH THAT

more :DD

techno and wilbur call tommy 'bubba' as they talk to him (I LOVE PEOPLE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE BUBBA OKAY SHDJVSHSJVSK) while he passes out. also whlle hes in a coma.

tommy hates to admit it but he still trusts wilbur, dream, and techno with his life

phil beats the fuck outta techno, wilbur, and dream

imagine that in a different ending tommy wakes up to techno and wilbur laying on either side of him, hugging him while they talk boredly. theyre covered in soot (haha wil) and ash but look happy. tommy asks what they did as he tries to sit up and gasps as he realizes that he cant and his hands are tied behind his back. he tries to squirm but gives up as techno and wilbur laugh at him. he doesnt really remember what happened and his speech is slurred so techno and wilbur come to the conclusion that tommy is still drugged up a bit. they tell him to go back to sleep and he listens.

after he wakes up again, his arms are untied and wilbur is gone but techno is still laying behind him. he asks what happened, again, and this time techno answers him, telling him about wilbur drugging him, how they did it to protect him, and how they blew up manberg. tommy goes into shock and starts crying, and manages to ask about tubbo.

techno tells tommy that he's lucky that wilbur has a shred of his sanity left, because the three of them, techno, wilbur, and dream, decided to spare tubbo, eret, niki, and anyone who didnt die from the explosion. luckily, schlatt was the closest to the bigger blast, so he was the only one that died. but george, sapnap, and quackity are all dying from their injuries and might not make it. but they probably will.

tommy breaks down and begins sobbing, causing wilbur to walk in. he looks to techno, who was panicking and helping tommy sit up, and then sighs faintly. wilbur walks over and hugs his baby brother and does his best to comfort him. tommy tries to squirm away but he just woke up, theres still a little bit of drugs in his system, and wilbur can easily overpower him.

m o r e

okay so for the second ending i 'wrote', imagine if techno and wilbur run away and take tommy with them and baby him the whole time. even with their mental health issues they try their best to take care of him, even if that means sleeping in the same bed as him so he cant leave in the night, or if it means having to keep secrets from him, or if it means having to have at least one of them watching him at all times, theyre still doing it to 'protect him' and in their head, its working.

once, tommy cut his arm because a zombie had a sword. immediately, techno, who was watching him, went feral and murdered the zombie by bashing its head in. tommy had a chance to run, but he didn't take it. he felt frozen in place. wilbur had heard the commotion and immediately ran towards them and found techno beating down an already dead zombie and tommy watching in horror.

he starts to baby tommy, per usual, and turns his head away from it and hugs him tightly, quickly gushing over tommy and panicking over his sliced arm. tommy lets him, he learned quickly to just let them baby him.

after the three get back to the little hut they made, shock wears off and tommy begins to cry because it hurts?? and techno and wilbur panic and wilbur shushes him and starts to cuddle him while techno stiches up his arm. they both lay next to him as he falls asleep and for the first time since they left he feels genuinely comforted.

THATS RLLY BITTERSWEET

more

somedays, while techno, wilbur, and tommy sit at the dinner table and eat potatoes, tommy plays with his food and contemplates grabbing a steak knife and running. other days, he looks to the boarded up windows that he could easily break through and decides to walk into the living room and cuddle with his older brothers.

he begins to completely depend on techno and wilbur, with the way they baby him. his personailty changes. he whines when he doesnt get what he wants instead of nodding his head like he became used to in the wars. he cant fall asleep without wilbur or techno near him/cuddling with him. he forgets how to make food for himself. he forgets how to wrap wounds.

hes used to not being allowed to get himself a cup for water because 'the cupboard is to high up'. hes used to boarded up windows, with alarms on ever door, with a tracker via a braclet sitting on his wrist because 'we want to keep you safe'. he's used to the cameras in almost every room besides his and the bathrooms, that was the only thing he didnt allow and will never allow because 'we need to know where you are, what if you get taken from us?'. he's used to being coddled and kissed when he gets hurt because 'youre to young to understand why we do this'.

when schlatt finds them and everyone comes and takes away his brothers, his family, his caretakers, he panics. he screams and cries and begs for them to not take them away. he's surprised to see schlatt alive because his brothers told him that he was dead, so he thinks hes hallucinating. he kicks and squirms when he needs to be sedated for them to be able to leave, causing a panic attack at the memories that come flooding back to that fateful night that brought them here.

when phil comes to the smp, he does his best to care for his youngest son. he truely does, but its difficult, especially due to tommys now much more prominent mental health issues.

and now you write the ending

btw my friend fear is writing this as a whumptober prompt <3

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

from an anon, about parents and school

(it's just long, that's why it's under a break XD)

here's my proposition: make parents understand that not every child should conform to whatever traditional career paths that exist. as an asian, i could feel the pressure to take science like a fucking boulder on my body. i have to rant a bit.

i am the younger sibling, my brother is two years elder to me. i was never instilled any curiosity in anything science related, i was kinda left all by myself lol. my brother tho, maybe because he was older or because he was a guy (yeah LMFAO), was encouraged AND involved in a LOT of coding, mechanix (its a construct-ur-own-stuff thing).

i guess i never really noticed until i was leaving middle school, that i was not as smart as him, and would probably never be. but i had other strengths he didnt have. i love writing, im pretty good at it. i am analytical and subejctive, i like thinking and making conclusions about things. i mean i guess i've figured out what i could be better at, right? but the problem?

its that my parents dont see it. its as if they dont know me or they DO know me and are just forcing the things they need onto me. it feels selfish of them to completely forgo my actual strengths. like YES OK i UNDERSTAND i can never be as smart as my brother, but u dont have to pretend like i can. because pretending that i can achieve whatever he has, is just going to affect YOU. because i have accepted long ago that some things arent for me.

they think i dont want to put effort into anything i do. that im lazy and want the easy way out. god, every time they say this i want to honestly show them that its the things IM interested in, where i put in the work. its so belittling.

ive written articles abt bts, their music, about how carl jungs theory of archetypes and i occasionally ask a lot of questions about the world to you (hi lol). i just dont get why they want me to waste energy on something im clearly uninterested in.

short answer, point to BTS and say, "They're Asian, they make tons of money. Leave me alone."

just kidding XD

If I'm being serious, I don't think they will change their mind. They will continue to force their ideals onto you, because they believe in certain career paths had assured success and that is what they are after. They either want you to make a certain amount of money, have a certain status in life, or simply know that you can obtain a stable job. To be honest, these are not really traditional career paths at all if you think about it. Becoming a doctor takes many, many years and it is hard ass work. Parents just make it seem as if these are the only jobs available to you, even if you know it's not true.

Men vs women in Asian countries, well, I feel everyone knows this, but many Asian parents born in their respective countries put more effort into their sons than daughters. Firstborn son? He probably walks on water to them XD

I understand what you mean when you say your parents do not understand. This might sound egotistical (it does now that I'm writing it, I am very sorry) but I was the one in my family who got the best grades. None of my siblings got better grades than me (basically I had a 4.0 from middle school to university), and do you think with all that I would be immune?

Nope.

I am good at the sciences and I am good at the humanities as well. I had an interest in reading, writing, and drawing. Reading fiction, I could pass it off to educate myself. Writing? I could pass it off as something for school. But drawing?

Woo, boy.

This was a constant fight. I do not back down (a rebel, wcyd) and I drew and it would get ripped apart. I drew and it would get torn up and thrown away. I drew and and would be beaten, yelled at, constantly belittled for my interest in it even though I was good at the sciences and math. To my mom (my dad doesn't count, he had zero interest in parenting) - if she did not think it was going to make money in the future, it was useless. If I could not spin it into profit, I should not be doing it (very fun childhood I had, yes). The most ironic thing is, after I became an adult, she suggested I start drawing again and sell it to make money.

Hello?

You literally forced me to stop drawing because you constantly connected it with negativity???

(not now, I have since stopped talking to her and started drawing again and it is purely for myself, not to show anyone else, I do not even post it on social media or show anyone irl)

Not saying your parents will act like mine, btw, only sharing my experience.

The idea that you'll never be as smart as your brother? That's bullshit lol. That's like saying intelligence is only valuable if it's science or math, which, as you know, is not true. You are you. He is himself. It is not you cannot do those things. It is that those things are not what you want to focus on. You have a limited amount of time in this life and you have chosen the things you want to delve into and explore.

You don't have to be good at everything. Everything is just not good enough for you.

I am of the mindset that you should try and learn everything you can about this world. I love learning, personally. I think knowing everything I know, from the humanities to the sciences, enriches my life and gives me a broader perspective.

But I totally understand how you feel, because being pushed into something makes you end up hating it. Parents push their kids to learn this or that and kids end up resenting schoolwork because it doesn't feel like something they wanna do anymore. It's just adults yapping in their ears and it feels pointless. Grades aren't everything. You think anyone cares that I aced Physics with Calculus I and II as an adult? LMAO, no one gives a shit. You passed, good enough XD

Here's how I think you should treat school. It's not the content that matters. It's you understanding how you learn each subject. Every subject is different and how you learn them is different. It is not because you are bad at the subject, it is because you haven't figured out the best learning style for you. Teachers have to teach a mass of students and, yes, I understand this seems very tedious to have to "teach yourself".

The skill in learning to learn becomes so, so valuable as an adult. It is how you maintain interest in things, how you develop new interests, and how will come to find meaning (in whatever you want to focus on finding meaning for). I'm not saying that you will be able to find your perfect learning style in every subject, but I am encouraging you to simply see it in that light.

And, you might find certain things to be not that important to you, in which case, just pass the class, it's totally fine if it's not going to help you for the career path you're going for XD Nobody asks me about the themes of William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" (tbh, a pair of overdramatic loons) or how I feel about Sigmund Freud (actually a twat, but that's neither here nor there).

Let them talk. That one that walks your path is you. Focus on what you want to focus on. They are set in their ways and they way to show them there are different paths is to walk them.

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

[misterbitches]

wait honsetly i do not give a shit if u like couples that i think are dumb or poorly written so if u get offended by this it’s ur fault

but im confused

am i stupid for not understanding the relationship between that high schooler and the old man? like....what am i missing here? it’s not healthy, or right, and it doesn’t really matter. it doesn’t mean no one can like it but i’m like confused at pretending that it’s like positive and healthy or whatever like at best it’s embarrassing and fucking stupid at worst it’s uhhhhh gross and probably illegal (not that it matterse bc crime is BS and this person wouldnt be persecuted anyway so)

like i know these writers don’t care, can’t write, think writing “shocking” things that everyone else has already done is like a big deal but they are doing the exact thing like with every ~pRobLEmAtIc~ storyline—which btw we need to start calling it what it is: misogynist, patriarchal, capital inducing, transphobic, toxic, fucking strange and also just a stupid way to get people to absorb information. like being specific about the actual problems not just atlking around it and alos breaking it down—it’s coercing people into liking it because it’s not about the content in their differences. they barely take that into account. i’m kind of surprised at the idea of longterm positivity in a relationship that cannot withstand that. and people do grow up and realize. 

i get their existence, i get why people would like it, but i don’t think you can sort of project positive things onto a relationship that is simply not positive and is not intended to be by the writers nature. even if it is accepted because harm is the norm, it upholds whatever power structures, so it’s like well fighting against that is the real story. like they exist but it’s not some statement about the lgbtq+ community particularly because that sort of relationship is common (in all communities) and uh not very good like i said and it NEEDS to be saved because that’s what these structures rely on it relies on being beholden to someone that you have no chance in matching at any point. it’s honestly a literal drag!

they dont hvae to break up or whatever but i kind of don’t get removing that reality from them. i mean i do because again this is what the writers do which is why it isnt effective, transgressive, or particularly fun (to me) and it’s so fucking common. it’s just like this IS the norm so it kind of needs to be pushed against.  i know they donnt give a shit but some of the comments im like.... am i imissing something did he like time travel to be an acceptable age or are we gonna accept he was lurking around a fuckin (immature as fuck) teenager. 

there’s def things that i like that i am also like “wow this is so gross” lmao there’s this brazilian movie about two brothers in a rship and they have an age gap and terrible parents and me and my best friend watched it when we were younger so we have like this place for it in our memory but we knew, and ofc back then, the immensely fucked up thing we were seeing. i can only stomach itif im extremely bored and it’s few and far between because IT IS S OFUCKING WEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD but they have good chemistry but it’s not like i dont see it. the film exists in a fake world too but idk enough about the background of the film and the filmmaker to know what their point was but i do know that it was a huge deal ther ebc gay and also the taboo nature and it was like. u know. bonkers lmao. also they were just two white brazilian dudes with money, probably some missing class commentary. in its nature everything about it is not something that i like (not reality of brazil idc abt white brazilians) and ummmm being fucking related. but look you know it was fucking fukced up and weird and the dudes did have chemistry. like seriously that movie so gross lmao so like we all have the capacity but im not gonna pretend it fucking makes sense like EW AND i wanted them to end up togehter but i still yell “EWWW NOOOOO NO NO but theyre so hot they have good chemistry OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS OS BAD OH NO WHY IS THEIR DAD OKAY WITH IT OH NO WHAT AM I WATCHING?” and theyre so close it is SINCERELY creepy and the movie is like HERE U GO GUYS and u absolutely do not feel comfortable. it’s actually uncanny because everyone is comfortable with it in their lives that it makes it even more weird. it’s like picking at you consistently, you can’t ever forget. i don’t like that these shows make you forget. they allow you to remove this fucked up background and history and/or traumatic shit from your memory SIMPLY for enjoyment. and that’s not how life works, nor art. it isnt just there. and they say this has meaning. 

idk anyways that’s just how i feel cos i only thought whatshisface was like idk 5 yrs older than him and that wouldnt be better to me but i was rly like this nigga is 12 yrs older than him? bitch that’s literally r. kelly like im not joking LMAO im just like how r u pushing thirty dating a teenager my nigga i cannotttttt lmaoooo like ARE U NOT EMBARRASSED HOMIE? also like on a sociopolitical level this message actually fucking sucks like their marriage is shitty tbqh  lmao it took forever for taiwan to get to where it is and there’s still massive issues with their marriage laws (and what is afforded to people with marriage; just like eveyrwhere. marriage is important because of so many laws and rights and that is why it is necessary not just in the ceremony) so it’s like flabbergasting frankly people hav elike actually isssues or like papa+daddy about taiwan and these bozos are getting married like it’s boring at this point my god

idk

go back to film school lmao

imagine if this world gave a shit about  minorities and poor people even it’s literally just ......fuck man lmao i just cant let things rest. i didnt get this stupid degree and also just live 29 yrs on this earth to be able to like.....watch garbage without a critique so the garbage can continue meanwhile artists who give a shit have a harder time making things like listen kid. WRITE YOUR SCRIPTS. THESE FUCKERS CAN, YOU DO IT. look at this garbage! u can!!!! this is the advice i do not take myself

[cupidmarwani-archive]

The Med Groupchat

Summary: The title speaks for itself.

WC: 1.5k

[crickett has renamed the chat “SEXY BITCHES”]

crickett: my city now

[Maggie<3 has renamed the chat “Gaffney ED”]

Maggie<3: Absolutely not

J. Lanik: Dr. Marcel, I can just kick you out of the chat if you cannot take this seriously.

crickett: rude

[J. Lanik has changed “crickett”’s username to “Crockett Marcel”]

[Crockett Marcel has changed “Crockett Marcel”’s username to “crickett”]

[crickett has added “HUBBY” to the chat]

HUBBY: Hi this is Ethan Crockett made my username and I don’t know how to change it

J. Lanik: I can change it in the chat for you I have admin privileges

crickett: no fun

HUBBY: Please change my username

[J. Lanik has changed “HUBBY”’s username to “Ethan Choi”]

crickett: how come u have all the power

J. Lanik: Because I’m an adult.

FreeWilly: who acts like a five year old lmao

J. Lanik: YOU KNEW I WAS SAVING THAT SORBET FOR FRIDAY NIGHT AS A TREAT FOR MYSELF

crickett: no need to yell

[crickett has sent an image to the chat]

FreeWilly: WHAT THE FUCK CROCKETT

J. Lanik: HOLY SHIT

[Maggie<3 has left the chat]

[crickett has deleted a message from the chat]

crickett: sorry babes i meant to send that to @EthanChoi

Ethan Choi: I’m breaking up with you

[J. Lanik has added “Maggie<3” to the chat]

Ethan Choi: You’re safe now, Maggie

Lesbian’s Wife: hey google how do i bleach my brain

Lesbian: Seconded

Maggie<3: Remind me which one of you is which

Lesbian: I’m Ava

FreeWilly: I remember cos Sarah never shuts up about being Ava’s wife

Lesbian’s Wife: I’m Ava’s wife <3

[J. Lanik has changed “Lesbian”’s username to “Bekker”]

[J. Lanik has changed “Lesbian’s Wife”’s username to “Other Bekker”]

crickett: not that i dont love and support dr bekker but this is the ed chat 

crickett: since u wont let me name it the sexy bitches chat

J. Lanik: She’s married to Sarah and cardiology is always down here.

J. Lanik: WAIT

[J. Lanik has added “connor” to the chat]

[J. Lanik has added “MommyPower” to the chat]

Maggie<3: I love you, Nat, but please change your username

crickett: give me admin power

[MommyPower has changed “MommyPower”’s username to “Nat”]

Nat: I’m in a mom chat leave me alone

Maggie<3: How’s Owen btw

crickett: @J.Lanik give me admin give me admin

Ethan Choi: do not give him admin I’m begging you

[J. Lanik has promoted “Ethan Choi” to administrator]

[Ethan Choi has changed “J. Lanik”’s username to “BooBoo the Fool”]

Nat: Owen is great thanks for asking! He just started soccer.

[Ethan Choi has removed “BooBoo the Fool” from the chat]

Ethan Choi: YOU FOOL

Ethan Choi: I HAVE ACCESS TO ETHAN’S PHONE

Ethan Choi: AND HE IS EASILY DISTRACTIBLE!

crickett: He locked himself in the bathroom with my phone. But now I have his

Ethan Choi: WAIT NO I HAVE PRIVATE STUFF THERE

Maggie<3: More private than your dick pics?

Connor: his WHAT

[Ethan Choi has added “BooBoo the Fool” to the chat.]

[BooBoo the Fool has changed “BooBoo the Fool���’s username to “Lanik”]

[Lanik has demoted “Ethan Choi” from administrator]

Lanik: This close to removing you from the chat, Marcel.

crickett: u love me too much

Bekker: Crockett sent us all his dick earlier @connor

crickett: NOT ON PURPOSE

connor: ...is it a good dick

crickett: i mean yeah? i hope so 

Ethan Choi: I’d like to stop talking about my husband’s dick please

Ethan Choi: (but for the record @connor it is a good dick)

Other Bekker: can we not talk abt his dick

Other Bekker: not unless i can talk about the strap but lanik said thats not allowed

Bekker: So he can send nudes but Sarah can’t talk about our new strap?

[Lanik has added “Dr. Charles” to the chat]

Lanik: Will this make you all calm down?

Dr. Charles: I don’t want to be involved here.

[Dr. Charles has left the chat]

Other Bekker: DAD

connor: lmao daddy issues

Bekker: @connor is this the hill you wanna die on?

[connor has deleted a message from the chat]

FreeWilly: can we all calm down lol

crickett: no. @connor dm if you wanna see my dick

Ethan Choi: …

crickett: i was kidding!!

crickett: haha unless……..

Lanik: Please do not plan threesomes in the work groupchat.

April: @Lanik bitter because you weren’t invited

crickett: OOOOOH burn

Ethan Choi: Does @no-ah have us on mute

April: yes

crickett: I’ll dm him some booty pics

Ethan Choi: Do not dm him booty pics

crickett: doing so is a public service

FreeWilly: to be fair Ethan he does get naked anywhere and everywhere

Nat: Including my birthday party >:(

crickett: in my defense u and april and sarah were also naked

Other Bekker: i remember that lmao

Lanik: This is a work chat.

FreeWilly: we should have a nude exchange

[Lanik has removed “FreeWilly” from the chat]

crickett: ooooh drama. are yall gonna break up

[Lanik has muted “crickett”]

Maggie<3: It’s so… quiet

Ethan Choi: Please unmute him he’s whiny

[Lanik has unmuted “crickett”]

connor: anyways 

connor: who wants to talk about their trauma

Bekker: @connor Like when you accused me of murder

Other Bekker: when i was a kid my mom really hated me and ive never really felt loved and maybe thats why im in a constant state of loneliness and being unfulfilled and even though im the happiest ive ever been i constantly feel like im on the edge of a cliff and at any moment im gonna fall over the edge and die

connor: that was loaded

Other Bekker: you asked

Maggie<3: I was traumatized by seeing Crockett’s penis

connor: lucky :(

Lanik: Jeez kids can you lighten up a little

Nat: HE KNOWS MEMES HE KNOWS MEMES

crickett: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THIS JIMOTHY

Lanik: Don’t call me Jimothy.

Ethan Choi: @connor why are you thirsty

[Lanik has added “FreeWilly” to the chat]

Lanik: It’s worse without you

FreeWilly: that may be the nicest thing youve ever said to me…

crickett: hey baby

crickett: baby

crickett: baby

crickett: baby

Nat: Use dm

crickett: baby

crickett: baby

Ethan Choi: What

crickett: since ur going to the hospital tonight can u pick up my meds uwu <3

Ethan Choi: Only if you promise to never say uwu again

[Other Bekker has renamed the chat “uwu”]

Nat: uwu

connor: uwu

Other Bekker: uwu

Bekker: uwu

April: uwu

Maggie<3: uwu

FreeWilly: uwu

Crickett: OWO

Ethan Choi: I want a divorce

[Lanik has renamed the chat “SHUT THE FUCK UP MARCEL”]

connor: lanik snapped

FreeWilly: hot

connor: WAIT CROCKETT DID YOU DO THAT ON PURPOSE

crickett: ;)

Bekker: What did he do

connor: i saw the dick pick. @EthanChoi you were right its nice

Lanik: Please stop planning threesomes in the chat

Ethan Choi: @connor I’ll set up a private chat

connor: yesyesyesyesyes

Nat: I wish I could get laid this easily…

April: You can

Maggie<3: I’m with @Lanik can you guys not be horny in this chat

Other Bekker: my two modes are horny and depressed

Bekker: Actually you have a third- hungry

Other Bekker: fair

No-ah: This is why I have the chat muted

[No-ah has left the chat]

[Lanik has added “Queen Elsa” to the chat]

Bekker: Rounding out the lesbianism I see

Queen Elsa: Is this even a chat I want to be in?

Ethan Choi: No

Maggie<3: No

crickett: yes

Other Bekker: to summarize: crockett sent a dickpic on accident and connor was disappointed he didnt see it and now hes gonna sleep with ethan and crockett and also i think nat and april are gonna get laid and also in case you didnt know yet will and jimmy are dating

Other Bekker: AND @Bekker IS MY WIFE!

Maggie<3: There it is

Lanik: Hi, Ms. Curry. This is the groupchat for the ED and I trust that you’ll treat this respectfully unlike some of the other doctors have been

Queen Elsa: Did you just call me a doctor?

crickett: do not listen to him this chat is all fun and games and dickpics

Queen Elsa: If that last part is true, I’m leaving the chat.

crickett: it only happened once and it was an accident

[Other Bekker has sent an image]

Other Bekker: look at my wife look at my wife look at my wife

FreeWilly: @April @Nat are you guys still here

Maggie<3: It looks like they both have us on mute

crickett: good for them,, we been knew they were in love

Ethan Choi: Please act like a person

crickett: bold of u to assume im a person

[connor has renamed the chat “tinder for lonely gay doctors and nurses”]

Other Bekker: DOES THIS MEAN WE CAN HELP ELSA GET A GIRLFRIEND

Queen Elsa: I have one.

Other Bekker: omg omg omg spill

Lanik: I feel like none of you are taking this seriously.

[Lanik has promoted “Maggie<3” to administrator]

Lanik: Never let it be said that I did not try.

[Maggie<3 has changed “Lanik”’s username to”BooBoo the Fool”]

[BooBoo the Fool has left the chat]

[kinktae]

The penultimate part🥺 I’m not ready to say goodbye, Bitchin!Jungkook has definitely been one of my fav characterizations of him that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing your work with all of us💖

bitchin 9 asks bc i suck

sapphireprinces5 said: bitchin’ pt9 was just so beautiful?? the way you explained the emotions and interactions between the characters was just amazing!! I felt myself hanging on every word wow excited for the end but will miss bitchin’ so much 🤧

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG AND YARA SIGN ME UP GURL!!!!

Anonymous said: Like I just feel like if Jk really liked y/n he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri, you know? It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t know how y/n felt. And it’s obvious that he has feelings for y/n so I just hope that’s something y/n addresses when she talks to him. Don’t settle for less girl! Get you a man who will fight for you regardless 👏 (btw this is not me criticizing how you wrote it in any way! I’m just so invested in the characters and am thinking about how I would feel in this scenario :) )

Anonymous said: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH YARA AND TAE I FELT IT SO DEEP IN MY BONES IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi! I just binge read bitchin in a day and can I just say that I loved it! I really love the female characters as well, you’ve written them so beautifully 🥺 if I was y/n I wouldn’t be concerned so much about Jk not sleeping with Kiri if he knew the way y/n felt, but rather the fact that if Jk didn’t want to sleep with Kiri, he wouldn’t have, regardless of y/n’s feelings or not. IMO y/n’s feelings shouldn’t be the issue here, but Jk’s should! If I was y/n’s bff that’s what I would tell her LOL

Anonymous said: OH MY GOODNESS! YES !!!! YESSSSS Y.E.S Muchas graciaaaas!!!

Anonymous said: tae and yara are my new ship)

unknowntalesx said: okay but like tae and yara thooO they got me all smiley being like oh yeah bayyybeEE das what im talking about 😏 ALSO OKAY NOW THAT I AM MORE LUCID KIRI GOT FUCKING WRECKED I LOVED THAT SHE GOT A DOSE OF HER OWN MANIPULATIVE MEDICINE I AM 😤😤😤😤😤

Anonymous said: im not ready for bitchin to end )):

Anonymous said: I SCREAMED WHEN Y/N TOLD KIRI THE TRUTH. YES QUEEN. STAB AND TWIST THE KNIFE!

Anonymous said: ROSE AHHSHSJSKSD FUCK U I’m all hot and bothered with anticipation for pt 10 now 😩😩😩🥵

sydney--chan said: We really stan y/n for using her big ol brain to rock kiris world oh my god I yelled also I say what's your damage all the time bring that shit back

Anonymous said: a tae x yara spin off series or one shot...... haha jk..... unless..... 👀

Anonymous said: Fuck kiri's scheming ass. I'm glad YN ripped her a new one

Anonymous said: AAHHHHHH once again, I love this chapter so much!!!! I was screaming at Yara and Tae part. Seriously!!!! I am SURE she felt that spark when he kissed her. Is she going to be the one falling for the guy while he wants something casual now? Or maybe Tae will fall for her as well? Ahhhh so cute! I feel like that would be a nice spin off yk (no pressure, I swear). And Erik, woah I didn't expect him to be like that. To be so nice and wise. Great character development indeed! It was really nice (1/2)

Anonymous said: To see their interaction and the way he opened her eyes (for some reason I couldn't help but picture him as Namjoon). Ohhh the Kiri part tho!!!! I felt really petty but in the best way lol. Anywaysss I am really excited for the last chapter (really sad too) and I am sure it is going to be the best because you are a genius! Thank you for sharing another amazing chapter with us! ♥♥♥ (2/2)

Anonymous said: OKAY I absolutely adored Bitchin part 9 😻 I always thought that it was also OC fault for what happened between her and jk, he obviously was the main jerk but she never actually admitted her feelings to him and he doesn't read minds so??¿¿? Really loved that she came to understand it. And I was rooting SO MUCH for yara and tae MAN I AM CRYING THEY DESERVE IT 🙌🏻

Anonymous said: you came through with the tae x yara content we all needed omg thank you!! if anyone’s gonna make yara fall in love it’s tae lol

Anonymous said: I honestly lowkey hate bitchin’ jungkook right now. I thought I’d get over it but I just can’t imagine how hurt and disgusted Y/N was when she found out that jk and kiri were together just hours before they were like ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m also really interested in Erik’s character development now so it would’ve been really interesting to see how he’d fit in Y/N’s life. 🥺

Anonymous said: jungkook and y/n wANT what yara and tae have

Anonymous said: TAEYARA YES FINALLY OUR WISHES HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 😍😍

Anonymous said: just want to let you know you’re an absolute angel and all you create is nothing short of perfection. *sends you all of the love*

spring2787 said: I jus came from a 4 hour long class and it's finally here... Thank you so much dear 🎂 💜

Anonymous said: Is yara me ? Like when she said that boy act like they understand the no string involved but then fall in love , dude I felt that , that's literally the story of my life lmaoooo Like the number of time a dude told me yeah I'm okay with that and then acted shocked when I told him I didn't feel anything for him is impressive lmaoo Anyway I'm so eager for the last chapter!!!! you did an amazing job!!

kuhweenbri said: The way I already finished but anyways girl I absolutely loved this part and now I’m excited for the next part 😭😭 will we be seeing more of T-ara??

Anonymous said: OMG YARA AND TAEEEEEEEEE. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY FANSERVICE. JSJSJSJJSBXBSBSB But on a serious note, this fic just keeps on getting better. The fact that there's only one chapter left still hasn't come home to me 😭 but thank you so much for blessing us with this!💜💜

Anonymous said: YO! bitchin is flippin brilliant! you have done so well! jungkook broke my heart in part 9! im emotional but also so ready for part 10! please take your time. have a lovely day

Anonymous said: i don’t normally talk to writers on here but bitchin is really bitchin, i haven’t read a fanfic in so long that makes me excited to read the next part and maybe it’s because i’m so used to all of the aus being recycled but bitchin is truly a breathe of fresh air to me for some reason, maybe because you fleshed out the right hand mans for both characters idk or the it being a different time period, but i just wanted to say you are smashing bitchin dude and i love it!!

shy-kpop-girl said: BITCHIN': I just caught up on 8 & 9. Shocked & angry at JK. Because regardless of whether he knew y/n' feelings it was a dick move to sleep with Kiri one night and y/n the next morning. And it wasn't like he came over to talk/tell y/n about Kiri & things escalated because he went right at it as soon as she let him in. Even tho it was hot. 😳 But Erik. I wanted to hate him but dude surprised me with his reasoning. I loved that dialogue! Once again your writing is amazing & I love this story!

Anonymous said: Bitchin is the best fanfic on tumblr. And no one can change my mind. You’re doing amazing!! Much love xoxo

Anonymous said: “Think of life as one big puzzle and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow… they fit. We find those that complete us. And they’re not necessarily opposites but—“ MAAM that part hit SOOO different omg your brain!?! Outta this world! Like this is whole ass literature!!!! I stg Bitchin’ is the best thing on this app and I meant that w my whole chest.

Anonymous said: I'm not ready for Bitchin to end. It's soooooo good 😍😍😍

kmultifandom said: Since there's a cast for bitchin I wanna audition for y/n because i wanna be a biologist and I have some similar personality traits *mic drop* Also great work, I seriously love it. No other fan fiction I have read was so close to my actual self and that impresses me even more and make it like it 10 times more djksksks

Anonymous said: how will I live when bitchin ends agghhh I haven’t even read 8-9 cause I’m waiting for the happy ending before I’m heartbroken and left waiting for the last part

Anonymous said: you know what would be super fun and crazy 😛😛🙈🙈 if you dropped bitchin’ pt 10 right now 😳😳 haha just kidding .... unless 😏😏

Anonymous said: lets gooooo!!!!!!!!!!! bitchin pt 10 better haunt me for the rest of the year

Anonymous said: I feel like I’m going to get so emotional once Bitchin’ part 10 is released. It’s like I’m sending off my non-existing kids to university because I won’t be able to see Bitchin!Jungkook anymore 🥺

Anonymous said: I can’t believe Bitchin’ is for real ending 😩 it’s soo gud 

Anonymous said: Can’t wait till bitchin PART 10 Probably gonna fall asleep before u post but I’ll try to stay up for it 🥺

Anonymous said: i love your writing honestly and i just really want you to be happy. your writing is immaculate and i really want you to know that you are talented and skilled so yeah. sorry if this is out of nowhere but i just really want to show appreciation to writers because they don't get enough and you are definitely my favorite writer:)) hope you have a good day!!

Anonymous said: okay but if Bitchin' goes on for 50 chapters that would be good too.. just sayin'.

tpo-quinn said: Bruh, I can already feel that I'm gonna cry from the last chapter of bitchin'...I CAN'T WAIT!

leojjeon said: so i've re-read bitchin ready for chapter 10 an I am feeling all sorts of emotions. it's fair to say it's my favourite series I've read!

Anonymous said: y did i forget bitchin would have an end like 😳😐we’ve been on this bitchin journey w u for so long i’m sad it’s over

Anonymous said: What what what?? Bitchin is ending??!!! Didnt it just fucking start like all the drama and tae&yara!!!! Omg girl!!!

Anonymous said: ur the absolute fucking GODDESS of writing angst, ive never ever waited for a ff to be updated before as if it was a new episode of my fav show coming out. thank u for writing and be so active, muah ur amazing

Anonymous said: a moment of silence for our loved bitchin who will die soon 😔 gone but not forgotten, she will always be in our hearts. all the best rides come to an end 😭