#gettin a lil snack mm mm mm!

[strangedetectivepenis]

forgot my water bottle hope someone put a molly in it

[dearmailman]

Hi 👋

Can you please write about baby Howdy being taken care of by Eddie and Frank please? (There is a criminal lack of baby Howdy in the wh agere community lmao)

If not that’s ok you enjoy your day/night neighbor!

🌸 anon

Thank you for letting me write this, genuinely, these three melt my dang heart! [art piece]

The soft scrape of a broom and a small whistling sweeps through the store as Howdy cleans up for the day. The windows were wiped down, the counter cleaned, and the stock re-stocked. With a few more sweeps and a dump of the dustpan, everything is well. Howdy all but collapses onto the stool behind the counter, smiling and wiping his brow with his sleeve. Tiredly he stares at the ceiling fan's spinning, top set of arms crossed and bottom set propping him on the counter.

He does adore his job - why wouldn't he? - but some days he just feels tired beyond belief.

The door dings and he sits up, grabbing his hat with a start, realizing he'd forgotten to flip the closed sign. And speaking of forgetting, Eddie walks up to the counter with a casual smile.

"Hiya Howdy!" he waves.

"Eddie, hello! I close at 8, did you forget?" Howdy is speaking slower than normal, and Eddie can't help looking at the circles under his eyes and the way his face sags. He smiles worriedly, tilting his head.

"Y' all good, neighbor?"

Howdy pauses, blinking unfocusedly like he just woke up. "Oh, I'm... Yes! Yes, I'm fine, Dear!"

"Y' look all... downtrodden or somethin'." Eddie reaches out a hand and touches his forehead. "Y'r all warm too- Howdy are you sick?!"

"No! No, caterpillars never get sick. I'm sharp as a whip, like always!"

Eddie looks him over, concerned. "Howdy... Y'know, it has been a while since you 'rested' proper." Eddie holds his cheeks gently. "You should let me call Frank over! We have missed babysittin'."

"Eddie, I-" Howdy's cheeks go blue and he looks to the floor. "I'd hate to inconvenience you, Ed!" His voice is putting on his usual tone, barely concealing how exhausted he sounds.

"Hm," Eddie frowns softly. It changes to a smile as he gets an idea. "How much would it cost?"

"Beg pardon?"

"Me gettin' to take care of my lil' bug for the night! How much?"

Howdy blinks and touches his chin, taking in the thought. He chuckles weakly, sighing. His top set of hands set against Eddie's own on his cheeks, and his bottom set rest on Eddie's shoulders.

"I dunno' Eds, what'd ya have on you?"

Eddie digs one hand into his pocket, and comes up with a few glittery stickers and a slightly melted chocolate bar. "Uhhh- I think I'll pay with a joke," he chuckles.

"Lay it on me!"

"Heh. Do you know why babies born on holidays are more likely to be little girls?"

"No, why?"

"Cuz there's no mail delivery!"

Howdy's nose scrunches and he snorts out a laugh that turns into a much louder laugh, covering his mouth with his hand and hugging his own stomach. "Mail delivery! Oh my!" He settles, looking much more relaxed as he lets himself lean on the counter. "Alright, alright. You can call up Frank."

Thirty minutes later, the three are together in the apartment above the bodega, Eddie and Frank fussing over Howdy. Frank picked out pajamas for him - green ones with red stripes on the pants. Eddie washed his pacifier since it was hidden in a drawer, and coaxed him through the embarrassment of using it.

Frank is laying on the bed with Howdy on his chest - which practically engulfs him under him. Eddie is making snacks for the three of them in the little kitchen. Frank lets out a breath, only frowning a little.

"Howdy, it's not good to strain yourself so much. You're only one bug, you can't work nonstop."

"Mm... Make me feel good to work though!" Howdy mumbles around the pacifier.

"I know you like having things to do with your hands all the time, but that's why you have these." He reaches to the bedside table and grabs a little tangle toy and a rubix cube, holding them up to him. "I ordered these so you don't feel like you need to work 24/7."

Howdy closes his eyes and presses his face against Frank's stomach. "Sorry, baba," he mutters.

"You're not in trouble, bug," Frank sighs. "Eddie and I love taking care of you, but you also need to care for yourself." He pets his hand through Howdy's hair, just soft.

"Who wants popcorn and candy!" Eddie calls as he enters with two big bowls held aloft.

"Eddie! Don't hold them that high, you'll fall!"

Eddie chuckles, and successfully makes it to the bed. It's a small one-bug bed, so they all have to squish together. Howdy's antennae point towards the candy, wiggling softly. "Y' hungry, lovebug?"

"A lil'," Howdy says as he pulls out his pacifier. "Only had breakfast."

"Howdy!" they both scold in unison. Howdy giggles, covering his face.

"Sorry pa, sorry baba."

"Well, at least eat now," Frank says, shoving the bowls towards him. Howdy nods and complies with no fight, grabbing food with all four of his hands and eating quickly.

"I feel like we need... Like a chore chart, but for takin' care of yourself."

"That's an excellent idea, Eddie. And I know you are already planning to craft it very pretty for him."

"O'course I am!" Eddie puffs his chest, grinning at Howdy. "I know this baby bug loves everything I craft!"

"I do!" Howdy says, excited by the idea as well.

Eddie digs in his pocket and pulls back out the three stickers. Little glittering hearts. He peels them and sticks them each to Howdy's cheeks with a 'boop!' Howdy smiles, and it's not exactly happiness. It's more of a release. Allowing himself to let go of the stress, and fully slide into regression.

He does get less talkative now, seeing as he regresses to around 2-3 years old. Eddie and Frank don't mind one bit, chatting and snuggling up to him while all of them snack. The sun goes down outside, and Eddie declares it a sleepover. All three pile close together in that little bed, Howdy sandwiched peacefully between his pa and baba.

sfw interaction only

[itwasthereaminuteago]

|| After The Beep ||

Pairing: Frank Castle x female Reader

Rating: E 18+

Tags/warnings: phone sex / guided masturbation, aw he misses you, uh yeah 🙂

a/n: dedicating this one to @saintmurd0ck and @castlesnchurches and all the thirsty Frank stans.

"Hey princess, it's me."

He always said that despite it being obvious it could be no-one else but him.

"I know it's real late and you're sleepin right now... we got a long drive ahead of us," he clicks his tongue, "we're alright, just stoppin' for some gas and snacks and shit and uh, I know I'm gonna be gone for a while this time so I wanted to leave you a lil somethin'." He clears his throat and you settle down in the bed with your mobile cradled to your ear.

"So you've probably just woken up huh? And you've been sleepin' in my shirt ain't ya? Don't lie sweetheart I know it." He laughs to himself at the thought of you trying to deny it and you laugh too, blushing even though he's not here.

"Alright, I know you look smokin' hot in it but you're taking it off sweet stuff, need you naked for me, okay?"

God, it amazed you how much power he had over you as you put the phone on speaker and obediently unbutton and shrug the shirt off and he isn't even there with you, he would be none the wiser if you'd just ignored him.

"You're so fuckin' gorgeous, can see you lyin' there in bed in my mind... damn, where do I start? Alright. Close your eyes darlin'. Can you feel my lips on your neck 'cos that's where I wanna put them right now, just soft like, kissin' up and down makin' you squirm. Love how it gets ya, love the smell of that shampoo you use, mm, buryin' my nose in your hair baby... breathin' you in, makin' my way down slow."

You can practically feel his words on your heated skin, he's already got you in a chokehold with this.

"Now you're gonna take your hands, run em down from your neck, yeah real slow baby, run em over those pretty tits of yours. Fuck, I'd spend all day givin' them my attention, they fit in my hands so perfect, would run my thumbs over em 'til your nipples are hard princess... they hard now? Yeah, and you know I'd get my mouth on them, jesus you fuckin' love that don't you? Me lickin' an suckin' you like that?"

You're pinching them now, playing along as your breathing is starting to hitch in your throat, rubbing and rolling them in your fingers as you squirm on the bed. He keeps going.

"You feel me makin' my way down your beautiful body hmm? Cos I'm kissin' you all the way down baby. God your skin tastes so good, can't help myself from lickin' down your stomach baby girl. Oh an' I love your curves sweetheart, might not be able to stop myself from bitin' your hip cos y'know I wanna eat you up... mm, but don't rush." God his voice, it's so low he's almost growling, "we're gettin' to that."

bleep. bleep. bleep.

"Ah shit." You hear rustling and the sounds of Frank scrambling about over the phone.

"Hey Red! You got change?"

There's a pause.

"Hurry the fuck up... thanks. Now get the fuck outta here an shut yer bat ears."

You can't help but laugh and then you hear the clink of a whole bunch of coins.

"Sorry sweetheart, where were we... Oh yeah, you run those hands over those hips and the outsides of your thighs, and shit girl you know if I was there I'd flip you over and bite that gorgeous ass too right? Mm, okay, now hitch your knees up for me darlin', that's it. You know I'd kiss all the way up those legs too huh? Think about it baby, you feel my lips on the inside of your ankle? Gonna go real slow, just takin' my time... I know you're ticklish when I get up there but you gotta try stay still f'me. Atta girl."

You're practically shaking as you imagine him there with you, trailing up your inner thigh with that mouth... fuck.

"Spread your legs f'me sweetheart, nice n' wide, good girl."

You do as he says, your core throbbing with need.

"Want you to brush your fingers down over your stomach baby girl, slow, real slow like molasses... yeah, keep goin'."

You shiver as the tips of your fingers travelling downwards raise goosebumps all over your heated skin. Fuck, Frank...

You keep going as he says, finally reaching the soft hairs of your mound, and down further, sliding between the slick lips of your pussy with a shaky exhale.

"I'm bettin' you're wet gorgeous, aw yeah, I know you. I'd put money on that you were drippin' as soon as I told ya to get naked huh?"

He did know you.

"I'll quit teasin', you can touch yourself sweetness, anywhere but your clit, or inside, not yet."

That's not quitting teasing you think, whimpering as you follow his instructions, god, your fingers are gliding easily over your pussy, dancing so close to where you needed them. So close, but not enough.

You stop as you hear Frank sigh. "Damn it's hard bein' away from you for so long,"

No shit Castle.

"Sorry baby, don't wanna leave you hangin'. Alright you can touch now sweetie, I know you won't need much..."

God he's right. You rub your clit in frantic circles, soft moans slip past your lips, your other hand diving lower to thrust two fingers into your dripping cunt. You hear him ramming more coins into the payphone.

"You making noises yet baby? Fuck I reckon you are by now, get nice n loud for me sweetheart, you know how I feel when you're makin' those sounds."

You whine and pant, fucking yourself with your fingers and imagining it was him touching you, him putting this roiling of butterflies in your belly.

"Baby I know you're almost there, c'mon an cum for me." he says and just like that you moan his name into your pillow where you can pick up the last remnants of his scent as the tension breaks. You writhe and cry out loud and long like he wants as you cum so hard, squeezing around your fingers, hips lifting off the mattress, and gasping as you slow down and stop when it becomes too much for you.

"That's a good girl, so good for me. Now I gotta spend four more hours in the van with Red and a hard-on like steel pipe but god damn, it's worth it to make you feel nice baby."

There's a beat of silence and all you can think about is how much you love him.

"Alright, I'll seeya sweetheart. Bye."

The call ends.

Hi! If you enjoy my fics please consider reblogging, it means that others get to enjoy them too! I also love to hear if there's anything in particular you liked, please comment! Thank you so much for reading 💕

[shorkbrian]

Oohh how would shouta and hizashi take their submissive readers virginity?

(What to expect - virginity, NSFW, dubcon, noncon. If you’re wondering the type of piercings Hizashi has, they’re dydoes (or kings head) and a pubic piercing. MxM penetration, anal plugs (Hizashi’s wearing one while he diddles u hehe))

Gently, I imagine.

If their darling is submissive, too afraid to run or fight, then there’s no need for them to be harsh.

They can take their time, be sweet and loving.

"Shhhh, you're getting loud." Hizashi holds a fingers to your lips as you lay there, panicked whimpers, distressed whines tumbling out of you.

Shouta huffs at the irony, his fingers working at the button on your jeans, then the zipper, then hooking into your belt loops, tugging the pants down easily as you begin to hyperventilate.

“Hey, hey, breathe with me, you’re alright.” Hizashi places a a hand against your chest, pressing you back against his warmth as he begin to take deep, steady breaths, encouraging you to do the same.

You can’t calm yourself though, eyes wide and fixed on the man in front of you, drawing your legs up and away from him as he rids you of your jeans, trying to keep your panties from his view.

If your wrists weren’t tied together, lashed to each other with soft, black ribbon, you’d be clutching at Shouta’s fingers as they ghost over your calves, up to your knees.

“P-please-” Is all you can whisper, fear settled so thoroughly in your body that you’re almost frozen.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be gentle. ‘Zashi’s just holding you so you don’t wiggle too much and hurt yourself.” Shouta’s words are measured, steady even when he slips a hand between your knees and forces them apart.

You want to sob, but you can’t. Shouta breathes out a quiet “fuck” as he looks at your panties, running a finger across the waistband.

“She’s shaking like hell Sho.”

“It’ll be fine. It’s just nerves. Everyone’s nervous their first time.”

It’s nerves, it’s fear, it’s terror and dread. You’re horrified, and scared, and you’re shivering as if the room is freezing, even though it’s warm, cozy.

Hizashi dips down, brushes his lips against your neck, and you flinch, your shoulder rising to push his head away, his mustache tickling your flesh.

“Hah, you ticklish? That’s so cute.” The blonde coos, his arms circling around your stomach as his husband begins to tug down your panties. You’re sitting in Hizashi’s lap as Shouta strips you, the two men working together.

The blonde is already shirtless, pants-less, in nothing but boxers. You can feel his warm flesh through your hoodie, pressed against your back.

“My first time, I came in my pants.” Hizashi chuckled, thumbs rubbing at your sides. “Embarrassed myself to tears. The other dude thought it was hot, dropped right to his knees and pulled out my dick and got to suckin’. It kinda hurt, but he was fingerin’ himself at the same time and well, teenage-me was able to get it up immediately.”

You suppose he’s trying to ease your nerves.

Shouta gets your panties off, tosses them to the side as a hand grips each of your ankles, and then you’re spread wide.

A cry gets caught in your throat at the humiliation, Shouta and Hizashi both pausing to peer at your pussy, Hizashi letting out a low whistle.

“Damn, you’re a fuckin’ snack!”

Shouta lets go of your legs, and you snap them shut, closing your eyes as your cheeks burn.

“When I first had sex, I was a one-pump-chump. The girl I was with at the time said it was fine, but I didn’t know how to get her off. I’ve learned a lot since then.” The dark haired man offered his own story, hand slipping between your legs no matter how you twisted or clenched your thighs.

“Wooo! Imagine that, little ole Sho losin’ it after one stroke!”

“That’s what happens when you lose your virginity when you’re thirteen, ‘Zashi.” But Shouta has a gentle grin on his face, and his words held no malice towards his husband. Just two men in love recounting stories.

The dark-haired man leaned towards you, one of his fingers petting slowly over your folds as he did. Shouta wasn’t shy about kissing you, his lips warm, soft, stubble prickly against your skin.

He pulled back, breathing hotly against your lips. “How do you touch yourself? What feels good? I don’t want to overwhelm you, it’s easy to see that you’re sensitive.”

You trembled even harder, sniffling, closing your eyes as his finger still ran softly over your folds, barely touching.

“Sweetie-pop, can you show us? Show us how you want us to touch you down there.” Hizashi’s hands were playing with the edge of your hoodie, easing it up, his warm digits skimming against your skin.

Both men are waiting on your answer, watching you with lust-filled gazes as they run their hands over your skin. They’re already touching you, burning your skin, and you want to scream. All that comes out is a pathetic whimper.

“How do you masturabate? Do you like touching here-?” Aizawa presses his thumb to your clit, wiggles the digit and you tense, shaking your head. 

“-Here?” His fingers trail down to your entrance, one slowly beginning to push inside. You whimper again desperately, shaking your head side to side while looking at the man in front of you with pleading eyes.

“’K, this is gettin’ old-” Hizashi interjected. “I’ll ask one last time, and then Sho’ and I get to touch you however we want to, got it? How do you want us to touch your cute lil’ pussy?”

“I don’t know!” You wail, tears rolling down your cheeks. You’re so overwhelmed, and scared, and you just want to go home.

Neither man moves for a second, but then Hizashi is letting out a an excited sigh, hunching his back so he can kiss at your shoulder before questioning. “You don’t know?”

“I’ve never-never touched my-myself down there.” You manage to hiccup, and Shouta rubs your knee soothingly, his grey eyes trained on your face. 

“That’s alright, there’s no need to cry.” One of his hands cups your cheek, thumb brushing away salty tears. “We just want to make you feel good.”

You’d feel good if they took their hands off of you.

The hand that’s been rubbing over your folds becomes bolder, parting the lips of your cunt even as you try to squeeze your thighs shut. All that does is trap Shouta’s hand against you, his fingers sending little jolts of unsteady fire burning through your tummy.

“Mm, wait, please-” You whimper, desperate to escape this sensation.

Aizawa doesn’t wait.

Hizashi slips his nimble fingers underneath your hoodie, rucks it up over your chest and you burn with embarrassment at being exposed like this. You want to hide your face, but with your wrists bound, all you can do is cover your eyes with shaky fingers.

“Look at ‘er, god, you’re delicious. Just wanna eat you up! Sho, after you finger her, think I could eat her out? I wanna taste.”

His lewd words make you cringe, and you can’t even think about how it would feel, the blonde pressed between your thighs, tongue laving against you over and over-

“One thing at a time, she’s already a bit dazed. Maybe another time.” Shouta’s gently stimulating your clit, brushing his knuckles over it, watching you twitch with each pass of his fingers against the sensitive little organ.

“Alright, relax now, okay? Breath out for me.” The man instructs, and you could almost laugh; if the man thinks you could relax, he’s an idiot-

A wet finger pushes inside of you slowly, and you gasp brokenly, mouth falling open. There’s so much pressure, you feel stretched and it almost burns, but he’s not stopping.

There’s a squelch, and cool liquid rushes over your hole, slips inside as the finger slightly retracts, and you shudder at the feeling. It’s weird and you feel like you can’t breath.

The finger inside rubs at your walls, and your muscles clench at the foreign sensation, unsure whether it feels good or bad.

“Calm down, you’re okay. I’m just stretching you out. Tell me if something feels really good, alright?” Shouta is acting as if he’s speaking to a child, a spooked rabbit, a baby. His eyes keep flicking between your flushed face and your pussy, enamored by the way you suck his finger inside, at the feel of your velvety walls, the slick feeling that he can’t wait to experience hugging his cock.

“I can’t, I can’t, please-” 

“You can, doin’ so good for us sweetie.” Hizashi chirps, and you realize his hands are resting against your bare chest, idly squeezing at your breasts. You had been so focused on his partner’s actions that you had missed his coy advancement. 

One finger turns to two, and two fingers turns to three, and you’re quickly reduced to a sweaty, blubbering mess, begging the men to wait, to slow down, writhing in Hizashi’s lap while his husband violates you.

The pressure fades away to a comfortable stretch, and by the time Shouta begins to move his fingers with intent, you’re already close to your limit. Your thighs are still clenched together tightly, but the dark-haired man has plenty of room to maneuver his hand, moving his fingers in and out, letting his thumb tickle your clit.

You can’t stop your legs from shaking, abs clenching in pleasure, little noises that fall from your mouth without your permission. It feels good now, and Aizawa and Hizashi seem to know it, speeding up their movements, manipulating your body as a team.

The orgasm that washes over you is gentle, the build up to it steady and measured. The pleasure is expected, and yet it still hits you like a train, hips jerking against Shouta’s hand as he continues to finger you through it, a smile on his face as you drench his hand, pussy drooling.

“I’m sorry, oh no-oh no I made a-a m-mess.” You sob, mortified at your body, at your reaction, feeling gross and disgusting and a sweaty mess while both men watch you fall apart.

But Shouta just slips his hand from between your thighs, holds it out towards you expectantly. You’re confused, still trying to hide your face behind your bound hands, but then the man behind you is leaning forward, sucking Shouta’s fingers into his mouth, right next to your face.

You can hear him sucking your juices off his husband’s fingers, feel the shame coloring your cheeks deepen and spread. He’s so noisy about it, licking the digits, running his fingers between them, and your pussy clenches when you catch sight of a piercing nestled in the middle of his tongue.

You feel dizzy.

“Mmm, just like I though-” Hizashi purrs as he cleans his husband’s hand. He pulls back, growls in your ear “-Delicious.”

Then the two men are switching positions, Hizashi handing you off to Aizawa who settles you easily onto your back, head in his lap. Hizashi pulls at your hips, lifting them up to stuff a folded pillow underneath them, and you begin to realize what’s happening.

“Wait! Please! Hold on, I-I-just wait, oh god, please wait!” The fear is evident as your voice cracks pathetically, but you aren’t above begging.

“’Zashi’s a bit smaller than I am, figured that he’ll be nicer to ease you into it. If-” He shoots his husband a glare “-He keeps his cool.”

Hizashi was grinning as he shucked of his boxers, completely shameless as he revealed himself to you. “Hey, can’t blame a man for bein’ a bit excited. I mean, look at this little sweetie, all laid out like this.”

You felt exposed, afraid. Hizashi’s length bobbed against his stomach as he moved forward, grabbing your legs and settling them on either side of his hips.

There was a piercing in his cock, several piercings.

He was circumcised, with a prominent mushroom tip that held three prominent barbells along the edge. Another barbell glinted ominously behind the curve of his dick, settled right at the base on the top, blonde pubic hair trimmed neatly to showcase the piercing. 

“No, no please don’t. I’ll do anything, please, just not this! Please, please-”

“The piercings feel really good.” Shouta murmured, one hand cradling your head, the other pressed to your chest underneath your hoodie, keeping you anchored to the bed as you squirmed.

“I got this one ‘specially for you sweetie!” Hizashi took hold of his dick, pointed it down to show off the barbell in his pubic area, displaying it to you proudly. “It’s supposed to hit your cute lil’ clit when we’re going at it.”

The words washed over you, and the severity of your situation hit you. The planning required to get a piercing, have it heal-plus the idea that he expected to be actively using it with you again and again....

You started bawling.

“P-please! Don’t do this, please don’t! No no no no, no, no-” Your words were garbled, practically nonsensical, but that’s what you were trying to say. Whether or not they could understand you was out of your control.

“Hey, shh, shh. You’re okay sweetie.” The blonde placed a hand on your thigh, but that only served to make you sob harder.

“Calm down, we aren’t going to hurt you. It’ll feel good (Y/N).”

“No-oo! ‘M scared!!” You cried, and if your vision wasn’t blurry from tears, you’d have seen Hizashi’s green eyes soften, his lips twitch downward into a concerned frown. 

The married couple looked at each other, Hizashi hesitant and moved by your teary display, but Shouta was firm.

“You’ll be okay. It’s normal to be a bit frightened during your first time. But ‘Zashi and I have a lot of experience, we’re going to take good care of you.”

You don’t have time to protest, Hizashi settling between your thighs again, those long hands of his guiding his cock to your drooling entrance.

Shouta’s kissing you then, insist, his tongue pressing against your lips, distracting you.

Hizashi pushes inside, you gasp, and Shouta plunges his tongue into your mouth. There’s too much sensation, between the warm rod settling into you and the slimy tongue slipping around your own, and you can’t do anything but cry.

You cry when Shouta pulls back, when he places a soft, uncharacteristic kiss to your nose, brushes your tears away with his hand.

You cry when Hizashi groans, finally seating himself balls-deep in your cunt.

You cry when he pulls out, thrust back in with a smooth roll of his hips, swearing underneath his breath.

Shouta leans over you, grabs his husband by the back of the head and pulls him in for a passionate kiss. Long blond hair slips over Hizashi’s shoulders, tickles against your skin but it’s just another sensation that you can barely register, overwhelmed and already too fucked-out to focus.

The piercing at the base of Hizashi’s cock does stimulate your clit, especially when the man presses himself flush against you, circling his hips in a quick grinding motion. The metal rubs against your folds and you feel like screaming, it feels good but you don’t want it to.

The metal through the flared mushroom tip keeps brushing against a spot inside you that has you seeing sparks, but you still feel uncomfortable, too full, too stretched.

Hizashi fucks you slow, his husband petting awkwardly at your face.

Minutes pass, you’re not sure how long, but then Hizashi is going a bit faster, then faster again, Shouta’s telling him to slow down, but the blonde pants out “Can’t Sho’, she feels so damn good-”

The metal keeps grinding across your clit, and then you’re shrieking as an orgasm slams into you full-force out of nowhere.

It had been feeling good, but the combination of the tip of Hizashi’s cock hitting your sweet spot, plus the barbell along his pubic bone rubbing your little nub as he humped your cunt had you spasming, mouth dropping open and your eyes rolling back.

The next few moments are hazy, but you know Hizashi pulls out, lets out a low groan and then there's a bit of warmth striping across your stomach. Aizawa is saying something in that low baritone of his, but you don’t know what.

Your limbs feel like jelly, you feel too hot but chilled at the same time, feverish, sweaty. Shouta pats your cheek “Still with us?”

“Uhnh....” 

Aizawa laughed then, a full, throaty sound that made his stomach quake, and both you and Hizashi looked at him in surprise.

It was rare for the man to make such a noise.

“You good Sho’?” Hizashi asked, a puzzled smile on his face. Aizawa nodded, calming himself down a bit to respond, a broad grin still plastered across his features.

“I’m more than good, this is.... you were perfect.” The last bit is directed at you, and Aizawa leans down to kiss you, even though it’s clumsy and awkward. Still, he persists.

When he breaks away, he reaches for his husband, and pecks him on the lips, before shuffling backwards on the bed, your head sliding off his lap.

“Do’ya wanna lay down sweetie-pop? Or sit in the chair and watch?”

“Wha-?” You blink at the blonde, a hand rubbing at your puffy eyes. You’re thirsty.

“She’s exhausted, have her lay down. Plus, you can kiss her when you start getting too loud.” Aizawa prompts his husband, and Hizashi swats playfully at the dark-haired man, but heeds his advice.

You’re maneuvered up the bed, until your head rests on the pillows. Your wrists stay tied though, and your brows knit in confusion. Are they leaving?

No, Aizawa’s removing his boxers, Hizashi’s on his knees, his face by yours scrunched up as he reaches back to his rear.

A glimpse of Shouta’s cock, and you’re suddenly extremely grateful that you had been under his husband, and not taking the monster Shouta had been hiding behind his boxers.

But your attention is torn away by Hizashi, who’s holding up.... a plug, shiny with lube.

Shouta shuffles behind him, grabs his husband’s hips, and then Hizashi is kissing you, whimpering into your mouth as Shouta enters him.

You can’t find it in yourself to feel sorry for Hizashi. At least he’s going to enjoy himself, sharing that part of himself with someone he loves.

Bitterness rises within you as you realize; you aren’t able to say the same.

[a-table-of-fics]

Oddworld: Conar's Ambition, Chapter 5, Draft 1

Conar woke up to the sound of a Mudokon banging against the metal floor with a grunt. He instinctively rolled himself up to a standing position, grabbing his gun and preparing to shout out.

He could see Slim lying on the ground, groaning and rubbing his head. Above, he could spot Mark, reaching down to try to help Slim up.

“Hey!” Conar barked. “Where do ya think you’re goin’?!”

“I-it was Slim’s idea!” Mark called out, frantically.

Slim only spent a moment glaring at Mark for that, knowing that an angry Slig was looking right at him.

“Y-yeah,” he said, backing up slowly. “We were gonna look into that hideout that’s right over there. Figure it’d be safer than being out here with an open roof, ‘specially with those hanging around.”

He pointed to the side, where Conar could see a Suppressor. Its red eye wasn’t turned to either of them; instead, the floating red sensor was floating in a corner, looking at another corner.

“What’re you talkin’ about? Those things are just there to watch you guys for wrong…doing…”

Conar realized what he just said, and started to circle around Slim, slowly making his way under the Suppressor. Once he made it out of its view, he moved his Blunderbuss from Slim to the mechanical eye. A few shots later and it started to fall, the light fading from it. He tried to duck out of the way, but the bots fall twisted and spun as it landed square on his back.

“Hey!” he called out, after his cry of pain. “Gimme a hand, wouldya?”

Slim took a couple steps towards him, but stopped. Conar got the feeling it wasn’t just the alarm that started blaring in the air.

“What’re you waitin’ for, Slim?!” he demanded. “Get this thing offa me!”

“You know,” Slim said, “I’ve been waiting for a moment like this for all my life. No more Sligs watchin’ us. No more taking orders. Mark and I, we’ll be free!”

“And who freed you, chump?” Conar retorted. “You couldn’t have gotten out of there without me! You won’t last two minutes without me!”

“I’ll take my chances. You can get someone else to push your ride.”

“You idiot!” Conar shouted. “I couldn’t blow our cover there!”

“Oh, sure,” Slim said, rolling his eyes. “It was the cover.”

He turned around, taking Mark’s hand and climbing up out of the train.

“Well, sayanora!” Slim said, before the two of them disappeared from Conar’s view.

“You traitorous lil’…” Conar started, before trying to pull himself out of the wreck.

He grunted and wheezed before suddenly popping out of his Pants. He was just able to crawl out from under the Suppressor and grab his bag, but there was no chance of him getting his Pants again. Not only was he alone, but he was helpless without his legs. He crawled around in the vain hope of finding a different pair or maybe even a flying harness, but the train car was as empty as before.

The alarms in the distance were soon punctuated with the conflicted chatter of Slim and Mark. Conar couldn’t hear all of it, but he hear things like “No, this marking means…” and “B-better hurry, I think I hear…” and “where is it?!”

The talk changed to more frantic gibbering as all three could hear Slogs barking, getting ever closer. Louder and louder, until they were snarling and snapping, and he could hear the Mudokons whimpering, the sound of metal scraping and falling as they presumably scrambled to higher ground.

“Serves ‘em right,” Conar muttered. “I gave ‘em a chance out, and what do they do? Ugh.”

He paced around on his hands for a moment, before spotting something. Some kind of bird graffiti etched into a darker corner of the train. Crawling over, he could see a crack in the panel, and he could see a full tunnel through there. Those Scrubs would have appreciated that; he figured what Slim was talking about was some kind of marking to this location.

Not that he needed Slim or Mark anymore. They fulfilled their purposes; who cared if they became Slog food now? He’d find another way to get to Zeb, once he got some Pants again. And besides, without his Pants, he’d be completely useless to help those two out, even if he wanted to.

He groaned, before giving a sharp whistle. The ravenous barking stopped for a moment.

“Here, boy,” he called out.

Three Slogs came into view, looking down at him. One of them was an older Slog, judging by her massive size, but the other two… well, they were just pups, really. Must have been born here, and were probably the offspring of the larger one. They were thinner than most Slogs he’d seen, and it was clear the mother was the only one of them raised or trained properly. Poor things probably just wanted a decent meal. Conar could sympathize, but he hoped he could dissuade them from trying Mudokon Mulch.

“Stay,” he said, keeping his eyes focused on the Slogs while he felt to search for his bag of supplies. It was a miracle he hadn’t brought it with him when he walked under the Suppressor. Reaching into it, past the ammunition, drinks, and cigarettes, he found that he was looking for: a whole package of Meep Jerky.

“You want some food? Huh?”

The mother Slog panted excitedly, her pups soon to follow.

Conar opened the food, and started to throw some of the largest pieces of jerky out of the train. After a few morsels were thrown out, the Slogs ran off to enjoy their treats, and Conar sighed, relieved he could do something still.

It was hard to hear anything over the Sloggies devouring the tough jerky, but he thought he could hear hushed chatter between the two Mudokon deserters. Sure enough, they were looking down on him a few minutes later.

“What was that?” Slim asked, smiling a little. “I mean, not that I’m not grateful, but you got bored of the Slogs attackin’ us that fast?”

“Yeah,” Conar replied, grinning under his tentacled visage, “you guys’re pretty boring screamers.”

He dragged himself over to the panel he saw before, lifting it slightly.

“This the place you were lookin’ for?”

“Maybe,” Slim said, hopping down. Mark followed suit as soon as Slim was with Conar. “Can’t say for sure, though; the graffiti was all wrong at the fridges, but did you see anything down…”

He looked at the wall, and saw the bird drawing.

“…here…”

It wasn’t a fat bird like the ones on the refrigerators, and it was a lot cleaner than the scratchings he saw back at the Slugbite Motel. He found himself drawn to it, his fingertips circling around it.

“HEY!” Conar shouted, snapping him from these thoughts. “We can’t focus on the pretty pictures; we got us a hideout to hide in!”

“R-right,” Slim nodded, feeling weirdly off-balance. “Lemme just get the door…”

He and Mark easily swung the panel open, and he grabbed Conar by the wrist.

“Hey!” Conar demanded, trying in vain to wrest his hand back. “Get offa me!”

“You think any Mudokons there’ll take kindly to some Slig going in?” Slim asked. “Come on, we gotta be dragging you in! Besides…”

Conar couldn’t help but feel an air of smugness.

“…you said it; a Slig without Pants ain’t worth the powder in his gun.”

The pantsless Slig sighed, trying to keep his bag close to his chest as they pulled him through.

The tunnel walls were lined with all sorts of trash, from old tires to old rails to piles of Slog chew toys. Conar picked up a rubber facsimile of a Glukkon that was relatively intact. The purple-suited toy had very few bite marks. After all, the Glukkon-shaped ones were designed to discourage Slogs from attacking the real deal with a bad taste. Of course, anyone who worked with Slogs personally knew that wouldn’t stop them from taste-testing their bosses.

He squeezed the Gluk in his hand as he was carried along. It served as a great reminder of why he left, and why he was putting up with this nonsense; so he could press a real Glukkon under his thumb.

He tucked the squeaky toy into his bag, and dropped the bag from his tentacles to his hand.

“Would it kill ya to get a better grip?” he asked, looking up at Slim. “My arm’s gettin’ tired.”

He could see Slim look at him, look at Mark, and then stop, giving a smile.

“Sure,” he said. “I don’t think this is working for me either, really.”

With that, he violently pulled Conar up. Conar, for his part, was shocked that he yelped in a very un-Slig-like way, dropping his bag to cover his mouth with his hand. Before he could reach for it again, his arm was grabbed, and he was tucked under Slim’s arm, his own arms pinned. Reaching with his tentacles was no good; as long as they were, he could not reach the ground from here. He scowled as Mark picked the bag up, handing it to Slim and looking on in awe.

“Yeah, what are you lookin’ at?”

“It-it’s that easy to p-pick you guys up?” Mark managed. He was somewhere between shock and amusement, and he made no effort to hide it on his face.

“Enjoy it while you can, twerp. Once I get Pants again, you’re gonna live to regr—Mmmph! Mmmph?!”

He struggled, but Slim had his hand clamped over Conar’s mouth.

“Shut up!” Slim hissed. “You don’t wanna scare ‘em off, do ya?”

“Mm,” Conar grumbled.

The three of them walked forward and turned the corner to see several Mudokons lounging in the orange glow of a rusty heater. A couple of them were lazily drinking from dirty bottles, while others snacked on crushed Paramite Pies. One with light-green skin looked up at Slim and Mark.

“Heya!” he called out, waving. “Welcome to the club!”

“What is this place?” Slim asked, looking around. A lot of the junk here looked like it was more deliberately placed than in the tunnel. Some of the half-melted bottles on one wall were even the same color as each other.

“You don’t know?” another asked, a shorter Mud with somewhat longer feathers almost covering his entire scalp. “We quit, just like you guys! Layin’ low, maxing and relaxing…”

He moved some feathers out of his eyes, and they widened as they focused on Conar.

“Oh wow, you took one of those guys out?” he nodded appreciatively. “Nice!”

“Mmph!” Conar protested as the rest came over to look at him. Being surrounded by six Mudokons total, some holding makeshift weapons just in case, in his state wasn’t ideal.

“How’d you get ‘im out of those legs?”

“Did he give you any trouble?”

“What should we do with him?”

“You think we could use him for something?”

“Can’t let him rat us out…”

Slim swatted hands and metal points away.

“Watch it,” he said, stepping back. “He’s been helpin’ us get here!”

He watched as everyone else’s jaws gaped in stunned silence. His eyes darted between them, and he finally relaxed as they all burst into laughter.

“Aw, man,” the light-green one said, grabbing Slim’s shoulder, “You really had me going there! A Slig helpin’ one of us?!”

“You know what a Slig is, right?” asked a Mudokon covered in soot. “They don’t help anyone. They don’t even think about helping their own!”

“They can’tthink,” the mop-topped one said. “Just got a tiny brain in their trigger fingers!”

The others started laughing again, while Conar sneered.

“A lot of big talk comin’ from a buncha layabouts!” he protested.

“Oh, we’re the bums? Who did the work for you guys while you napped and smoked?”

“I oughta throw you to the Slogs!”

“You guys don’t do nothin’!”

Conar realized he should have kept his mouth shut as they began to get closer, some of them preparing their weapons once more. Slim was slowly stepping back, but it wasn’t enough to avoid the crowd. He braced himself for a world of pain, looking at their faces of righteous anger, but Mark had stepped forward.

“Hang on,” he said. “It s-sounds crazy, but th-that guy did help us get here… S-sure, he’s a Slig, b-but he c-covered for me with Clunk and distracted some Sloggies for us…”

The encroaching Mudokons stopped, stepping back to consider this.

“He’s mean as any one of ‘em,” Slim added, “but he busted me out of the Motel, and made damn sure we escaped.”

Finally, after a moment of whispering, the light-green Mudokon stepped forward, keeping his sharpened pipe relaxed, but ready.

“All right then, Slig,” he asked, kneeling to be eye-level with Conar, “Why’d you help ‘em out?”

“That’s none of your—”

“He thinks he can just walk in and take a Glukkon’s Moolah,” Slim said.

Even Mark joined in the laughter that ensued.

“You… you reallythink…” managed the multifeathered Mud, before gasping for air again.

“Well, why not?” Conar asked. “I got a gun, and he doesn’t. Once I get to ‘im, that should be that.”

“Oh, yeah,” Slim said, rolling his eyes, “Getting to ‘im will be a cakewalk, huh? We both know Glukkons’ve got security tighter than a Resolver’s Knot. You’ll be in pieces before you make it to the front desk!”

“You got a gun,” the light-green one added, “but he’s got, like, eight hundred of them! And you just brought a coupla Mudokons? How d’ya expect to outgun ‘em?”

“That Abe guy did something,” Conar said. “I’m hopin’ to find out what.”

The laughing died into an abrupt and long silence. They were all staring at him, jaws agape, paralyzed for a few moments. The look of shock turned into a snarl on a few of them, while the rest shuffled their feet.

“What?” Conar asked. “That guy could take down RuptureFarms, and last I hear he’s goin’ after the FeeCo Depot. Must be somethin’ to you guys if one of ya can do that!”

The Mudokon with many feathers opened his mouth to speak, but it took a couple of moments to get the words out: “…You… understand Abe’s significance? You know he’s the…”

“Of course he doesn’t,” the Mudokon with an eyepatch said, raising his lead pipe in preparation to strike. “He just thinks he can talk about Abe and we’ll all do what he wants. No way is that happenin’!”

“Wait, I can—”

The pipe came down, Conar felt a brief heavy pain, and everything went black.

[mkcannothelpyou]

Riverside - Mada Chotto Kaotteruppoi

Still a little fragrant, kinda.

Arrangement by KNHEZiXYTH, lyrics and vocals by Matsumoto Sara.

Suika (Drunken Flower) is on the same album.

Lyrics with the English verse also un-Englished, romaji and English translation below the cut.

何センチだか不明なペンと 何ミリかの紙 何文字だか判らん辞書で... めんどくせぇ、投げた。

あら、３時のおやつ タガメの丸焼き 女子力捨てても そこまで気にはしてない

くそまじめに働いてたって 頭ん中☆※×～？ どんなにまじすっげぇ魔法より やっぱ性格(ないよう)が魅力でしょう

何デレだか分からんアレと 何度目かの（※ご想像にお任せします） 帰り道に寄ったお店で ヤバいものゲット///

妄想爆発 前方不注意 咄嗟にブレーキじゃなくてアクセル 無免許ばんじゃい 交通法はありましぇーん 余裕こきすぎて 後日巫女にしばかれた。

前途多難で厄払い どっかのあいつとはえんがちょ☆※×～？ 私が夢見た世界は こんな小っぽけなものじゃない くっそマトモな惡ふざけ そんなん四六時中だ！☆※×～？ もうダメってか？ うっせぇ、気にするな！ 細かいこっちゃ禁句でしょう

(香ってる感じ↓) らっぱっぱやぱやっぱっぱー ぱらやっぱっぱやぱやっぱっぱー

どっきゃっとぅんラバラスタすたー 俺の でっでーヤバラッサンディ

でってってー リキやっさんせー SUBARAったっせー 罵詈やっさんせー らっぱっぱ リキらっさーんせーデス☆ GO! レルドリッヒ のびあ

烈法 のじあ/ヌゾフ リバルッティーヤ るかりっしゃんらい ラクダ イズ むしゃむしゃ あっちぅま 歌詞できちゃった♪　※できてません

るぁ！Mad Kind no turns and car, how kick it dust then ”PANDA”   ( るぁ！魔界の田中吐き出すぜパンダ ) Poor rim why 基本的 put in toat curse enough it them.   ( プリン��基本的ぷっちんとかしないぜ ) Coins ２ were magic で伝説の now need cares...   ( こいつはマジで伝説のなんか ) What a seem no 頭 was its today, more ”NITROGLYCERIN”   ( 私の頭はいつでもニトログリセリン ) Umm...   ( うう... )

せんてぃめんたぅな無窮動... 一人きりじゃ眠れない？ だったらみんなで雑魚寝だ！☆※×◎♂＝・ω・＝！！ 虚しい夜を過ごすより アッツい刺激を求めましょう

疲れんのが早すぎて こいつぁ困ったもんだな☆※×～？ 歳ですか？ うん、じゃ、そういうことで...。 ほら朝まで踊ろうぜ やっぱサイコーだ！ ハイパーテキトータァァァァァァァァァァァァァァァイム！！

Nansenchi daka fumei na pen to nanmiri ka no kami Nanmoji daka wakaran jisho de... mendokusee, nageta

Ara, san-ji no oyatsu, tagame no maruyaki Joshiryoku sutete mo soko made ki ni wa shitenai

Kusomajime ni hataraitetatte atamannaka rattattayata Donna ni maji suggee mahou yori yappa naiyou wa miryoku deshou

Nanidere daka wakaran are to nandome ka no nnn Kaerimichi ni yotta omise de yabai mono getto

Mousou bakuhatsu zenpou fuchuui Tossa ni bureeki janakute akuseru Mumenkyo banjai koutsuuhou wa arimasheen Yoyuu kokisugite gojitsu miko ni shibakareta

Zentotanan de yakubarai, dokka no aitsu to wa engacho rattattayata Watashi ga yumemita sekai wa konna chippoke na mono janai Kussomatomo na warufuzake, sonnan shirokujichuu da! Rattattayata Mou damette ka? Ussee, ki ni suru na! Komakai koccha kinku deshou

(Kaotteru kanji↓) Rappappa yapayappappaa Parayappappa yapayappappaa

Dokkyuttun rabarasutasutaa Ore no deddee yabarassandi

Dettettee rikiyassansee Subarattassee bariyassansee Rappappa rikirassaanseedesu☆ Go! Rerudorihhi nobia

Retsuhou nojia nuzofu Ribiruttiiya rukarisshanrai Rakuda izu mushamusha Acchuuma kashi dekichatta♪ ※dekitemasen

Rua! Makai no Tanaka, hakidasu ze panda Purin wa kihonteki pucchin to ka shinai ze Koitsu wa maji de densetsu no nanka Watashi no atama wa itsudemo nitoroguriserin Uu...

Sentimentau na mukyuudou... Hitorikiri ja nemurenai? Dattara minna de zaokne da! Ratasutattayata!! Munashii yoru wo sugosu yori attsui shigeki wo motomemashou

Tsukaren no ga hayasugite, koitsa komatta mon da na rattattayata Toshi desu ka? Un, ja, sou iu koto de... Hora asa made odorou ze Yappa saikou da! Haipaa tekitou taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaimu!!

How many cms on this weird-ass pen, an' how many mms of paper? How many words I gotta fetch a dictionary for... what a freakin' pain - thrown.

Ooh, my three-in-the-afternoon snack, barbecuin' some water bugs. Throwin' away my girly power, but it ain't like I really care all that much!

Been workin' yourself to some lame early grave? Yer brain'll be all rattattayata! Don't really matter what super bomb magic you got - in the end, it's all about flash!

The hell's this, an' what's up with that? How many times've I - mmmm? (※I leave this up to your imagination) Passed by the store on my way back, an' got a real' somethin'!

Delusions blowin' up, no regard for what's in front a' me - No sudden brakin', what you want's the accelerator! Here's to bein' unlicensed, ain't no shtinkin’ rules on the road - Mighta said a lil' too much - few days, miko'll be mad at me...

Exorcisin' all future nuisances - I'll just engacho whatever bastard comes, rattattayata! The world that I dreamed of ain't somethin' this wimpy small! What kinda self-respectin' prank's that? You'll be up 'round the clock like that, rattattayata! It's all over, you say? Shut it, don't mind it! We got a taboo on trivial crap!

(With a fragrant feeling ↓) Rappappa yapayappappa, parayappappa, yapayappappa -

Dokkyuttun rabarastasta, Here goes my dedde yabarassandi -

Dettette rikiyassansee, Subarattassee, bariyassansee, Rappappa rikirassansee, dess☆, Go! Rerudorihi nobia -

Retsuho nojia nuzofu, Ribaruttiya, rukarisshanrai, Rakuda izu mushamusha, Dere's yer lyrics, done in a flash♪! (※That was not writing lyrics)

Rrrah! Makai's Tanaka, the livin' spittin' panda! Far as pudding goes, I don't fundamentally do pucchin! This thing's so totally some legendary somethin'! No matter when, my brain's all nitroglycerin... Ooooh...

A sentimental perpetual motion... Can't sleep all by yourself? Then we're all gettin' in one big pile, ratastattayata! Better than passin' the night like you're dead, so let's have us some real hot stimulation!

You get tired way too quick - this one's a bother, ain'tcha, rattattayata! How old're you? Yep, 'kay, if that's so... Alright, let's dance until the mornin'! Yeah, this's the best! The hyper good-stuff tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!!

[thelastspeecher]

7, Clairy Fairy.or any other deaged au of your choice.

7. I don’t think she noticed my new haircut

I decided to set this during the first break Lute and Angie have in their freshman year of college.  So Clairy’s about five years old now, since she was de-aged to three while Lute and Angie were about to head into their junior year of high school.  And she’s definitely been lonely, just her and Ma and Pa and the animals.  

Send me an AU and a number and I’ll write you a ficlet!

               Clairy kicked her legs idly,staring at the clock on the wall.  Shesighed.

               “When are they gettin’ home?”she whined.  Ma McGucket put a cookie ona plate in front of her.

               “Any minute now, sweetling.  Have a snack, okay?”

               “No, don’t wanna snack,” Clairygrumbled.  “Wanna see Lute ‘n Angie.”

               “Yer siblin’s are on their way,honey-bun.  Eat the cookie.  You’ll feel better,” Ma McGucket said,kissing Clairy on the top of her head.  Clairyreluctantly picked up the cookie.  It washer favorite, snickerdoodle.  As sheresolutely chewed her snack, she looked over at Ma McGucket, who was dustingsome shelves covered in various knickknacks.

               “Ma, I didn’t wan’ ‘em to go.”

               “Don’t talk with yer mouth full,kidlet.  And you know why they left.  They’re grown up now.  They had to go get their college degrees.”

               “But why?” Clairycomplained.  She brushed a few straycrumbs off her dress.  The family dog,Joel, who was sleeping on the couch next to her, jolted awake and dartedtowards the dropped crumbs eagerly. After he’d finished cleaning Clairy’s mess, Joel licked her hand incessantlyuntil she patted him on the head.

               “First off, it’s required ferall you kids to go to college fer four years,” Ma McGucket said firmly, liftinga horse figurine to dust underneath.  “Imight have gotten a degree, but yer pa didn’t have the opportunity to go.  We wanted all our kids to have as manyopportunities as possible.  So college isa requirement in this household.”

               “Mm,” Clairy mumbled, stuffingthe remainder of the snickerdoodle in her mouth.  She set the plate on the floor for Joel tolick.

               “Second,” Ma McGucket continued,“they wanted to go.  Yer big brother ‘nsister never even left Arkansas ‘fore they went off to college.  They wanted to see the world and get to knowit better.”

               “Guess that makes sense,” Clairymuttered.  She wiped the hand coated inJoel’s saliva on the dog’s dark fur.  “Imiss ‘em.”

               “I know ya do, munchkin.  But they’ll be home soon.  And I’m sure they brought back some presentsfer ya.”

               “Mm.”  Clairy idly petted Joel until he looked inthe direction of the front door, his ears perked up.  “What is it, boy?” Clairy asked.  Joel barked. Voices from outside carried inside, individual words too faint to makeout.  Joel rocketed toward the front doorand jumped up excitedly.  Clairy slid offthe couch, following him to the house’s entrance.

               “I think a certain hound isexcited people are here,” Ma McGucket said, ruffling Clairy’s hair as shewalked past.  Clairy stood up straight,putting on her cutest expression, as the voices outside grew louder.  Two car doors slammed.  Footsteps marched up the front steps and ontothe porch.  The front door opened.

               “Whoa there, Joel!” Lute shoutedas the dog pounced on him.  He fell tothe ground, his face getting licked nonstop by the excitable black lab.  A few feet behind him, Angie chuckled at hertwin’s predicament.  

               “I told ya Joel was goin’ to bemore eager ‘n a bumblebee in spring when he saw ya,” Angie said.  She looked inside the house and noticedClairy, still standing quietly nearby. Angie beamed.  “Howdy, lilsis!  Look at ya, all dressed up with a bowin yer hair.  And standin’ so nice!”  Angie dropped her bags to scoop Clairy up inher arms.  “What, did Ma ‘n Pa getthrough to ya and convince you to have manners?”

               “Never!” Clairy shouted.  

               “Good.  I’d hate fer my own baby sister to turn intoa traitor like that,” Angie said, nuzzling Clairy.  “I see ya lost a tooth, missy.”

               “Yeah!  And somethin’ else happened,” Clairysaid.  Angie raised an eyebrow.

               “Oh?  What’s that?”

               “Ya can’t tell?” Clairy said,feeling slightly dejected.  

               “Joel, off!” Lute shouted,finally shoving the dog away.  He stoodup.  A grin identical to Angie’s spreadacross his face.  “There’s my ClairyFairy.  Hand her over, Angie.  I want to snuggle my other baby sister.”  Angie rolled her eyes but deposited Clairy inLute’s outstretched arms.  Lute smiled atClairy.  “Howdy there, lil miss.  Oh! Did ya get a haircut?”

               “Yep!” Clairy said, noddingvigorously.  She frowned at Angie.  “Angie didn’t notice.”

               “Well, I did.  I must love ya more or somethin’.”

               “Uh-huh.”

               “Do ya love me more ‘n you loveAngie?” Lute asked conspiratorially. Clairy tapped her chin, thinking.

               “Hmm.  Yes.”

               “I’m wounded!” Angie shouted,clapping a hand over her chest.  “My ownlil sister don’t love me as much as she loves my twin brother.”

               “You didn’t know I got ahaircut,” Clairy said shortly.

               “Ah, well, maybe you’ll changeyer mind about who ya like best when ya see what I brought ya,” Angie said in asing-song voice as she walked inside. Clairy’s eyes widened.

               “Presents?” she askedquietly.  Angie stuck her head outside.

               “You bet, sugar-cube.  Now get on in here so’s I can become thefavorite.”

[thelastspeecher]

4, for Big Sis au or Stay at home stan/stana. Buying new furniture for an expanding family.

4. Trying to buy a new couch

This was a lot of fun to write omg.  I’m really fond of the idea that Stan and Angie get bogged down by work stuff and realize when Angie’s in her third trimester that there’s a billion things they still need to do to get ready for the baby.  And buying a new couch is one of them.  They really needed a new one anyways.  The old one had a number of questionable stains and smelled sort of like mice.

Send me an AU and a number and I’ll write you a ficlet!

               “What about this one?” Stansuggested, running a hand along a dark red sofa.  “Seems nice to me.”  He sat down. “Mm.  Comfy.  Angie, come here.”  Sitting a few feet away on the last couchStan had liked, Angie groaned.

               “When ya said we were lookin’fer furniture, I thought there’d be more sittin’ ‘n less walkin’ around,” shesaid, annoyed.  Now less than a monthfrom her due date, Angie had only been coaxed into going to the store by thepossibility of sitting or lying down on comfortable furniture.  She braced her arms against the seat of thecouch and tried to push herself up. After failing, she slumped back. “Goin’ to need yer help gettin’ up,” Angie said in a defeatedvoice.  Stan stood and walked over toher.  He took a hold of her hands andpulled her up.  Angie toppled forward abit, but caught herself.  Stanchuckled.  Angie rolled her eyes.  “Sure, sure, laugh it up.  But you ain’t the one whose center of balanceis all messed up,” she said, poking him in the chest.  “Now, where am I sittin’ next?”

               “This one.”  Stan put an arm around Angie’s shoulders,guiding her to the couch he had pointed out. Angie sat down heavily with a loud groan.  She rested her hands on her swollen stomachand shifted herself, attempting to get comfortable.  “So?”

               “I like it nice enough,” Angiesaid.

               “It’s got detachable seat cushionsfor forts, a hideaway bed for annoying guests, and it’s big enough for five people.  If we end up with a third kid,” Stansaid.  Angie eyed him.

               “Yer gettin’ ahead of yourselfthere.  No talkin’ ‘bout third kids untilthe second one’s finished bakin’.  And we’replannin’ on just havin’ the two kids, ‘member?”

               “We also planned on having thesecond kid about a year from now,” Stan said. “Maybe our plans get screwed up again.”

               “Don’t jinx us there, darlin’.”

               “Comfortable, isn’t it?” Stansaid, rubbing one of the seat cushions

               “Hon, I ain’t been comfortablein two months.  If ain’t my back, it’s myfeet.  If it ain’t my feet, it’s the kidkickin’ me.  If it ain’t kickin’ me, thekid’s sittin’ on my bladder.  And if it’snone of that, then I’m hungry,” Angie said.

               “…Are you hungry right now?”Stan asked.

               “I’m eight months pregnant.  I’m always hungry,” Angie replied.  She looked around.  “Where’s Molly?”

               “Over here,” a voice said.  Angie craned her neck, but still couldn’t seeher daughter.  She sighed.

               “Sweetling, don’t make me get upto see ya.”  Molly clambered over theback of the couch and took a seat between Stan and Angie.  Angie chuckled.  “Yer my lil monkey, ain’t ya?”

               “Yeah.  Are we done?” Molly asked.  

               “That depends,” Stan said.  “Do you like this couch?”

               “It’s nice,” Molly said.  Stan looked at Angie.  

               “What about you?”

               “If I weren’t pregnant, I thinkI’d like it an awful lot,” Angie said.  

               “You keep mentioning beingpregnant,” Stan said.  

               “Well, that’s ‘cause it’s havin’a pretty strong effect on my life, darlin’,” Angie replied.  She drummed her fingers on her large babybump.  “Hmm, I could go fer a churroright now.”

               “Ooh, let’s get churros!” Mollysaid eagerly.  She hopped off thecouch.

               “All right, we will,” Stan said,standing up.  “But after we get the couch.  Hey!” He flagged down a worker and walked over to them.

               “Ask ‘em if they can move it tothe house with me still sittin’ on it,” Angie said idly.

               “If you go with the moving crew,you won’t get a churro,” Molly said.  

               “Nuh-uh.  I’m gettin’ a churro, no matter what,” Angiereplied.  

               “You’re gonna ask the movingcrew to take you to a churro stand?”

               “No, I’ll ask yer dad to pick upa few extra churros fer me.  Which hebetter.  It’s his fault I’m cravin’‘em.”  Stan rejoined Angie and Molly.

               “Are you still talking aboutMexican snack food?” Stan asked.  

               “Yeah,” Molly and Angie saidtogether.  

               “The papers are signed and thecouch is bought, so we can go get some churros,” Stan said.  Angie held out her hands.  Stan helped her up.  She made an odd expression.  “You all right, babe?”

               “I think so.  I just- that was a strange feelin’.”

               “What- what kind of feeling?”Stan asked.  Angie shook her head.

               “Prob’ly nothin’.  Just the kid stompin’ on my bladder agai- augh!” Angie let out a shout and hunched over.

               “Mom?!” Molly said, worried.

               “Angie!  Angie, talk to me!” Stan said.  Angie shook her head, her face scrunched upin pain.  After a few seconds her facerelaxed and she looked at him, panicked.

               “That feelin’ must’ve been mywater breakin’,” she whispered.  “‘CauseI’m pretty sure that was a contraction.”

               “So…no churros?” Mollysaid.  Angie stood to her full heightagain.

               “No, we’re gettin’ churros.”

               “You’re in labor,” Stansaid.  Angie glared at him.

               “Then we pick ‘em up on the wayto the hospital.  We got the couch, nowwe get churros.  That was the deal,”Angie said firmly.  “And it ain’t likethe baby’s comin’ out right now.  We’vegot time to stop fer snacks.”  Stansighed and dug his car keys out of his pocket.

               “Fine.  We get churros on the way to the hospital.”  He put an arm around Angie, helping her walk outof the store.  Molly raced past them,eager to leave.  “At least your waterdidn’t break on the couch.”

               “It might have,” Angie saidquietly.  

               “Oh.  Eh, it was a floor model anyways, who cares.”