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#giffed this just for rebecca's soft reaction and being the only one who knows the referenc
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"Yeah. Uh, Field Of Dreams? I guess ya'll don't really like baseball here, so why would you like movies about it?"
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vole-mon-amour · 1 year
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3x08, part 2.
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The first thing I notice? Jamie. :) That boy can't sit straight or stand still. <3 (Also Jan, heh.) And Jamie's so fond of Henry. Surprisingly good with kids, yeah, and it's wonderful that Jamie pays him so much attention while being Henry's fav player.
All the boys are smiling and cheering for the kid, this so incredibly wholesome. Even the ones that aren't exactly participating are still smiling. I love this show, man. I rewatched this moment at least 7 times. I would like to be Henry in that moment, please.
I also can't get over the "I got that all covered" line and the cut to the boys just being boys and having the time of their life out on the pitch with Henry. Perfect training & Rebecca being more than ok with that. :') I need gifs of this. I need a cut of this scene only so I can have it on my blog with the boys cheering. I love EVERYTHING about this moment.
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Yeah, I'm definitely still in love with her. Queen. Also, the line of this ep so far, "getting engaged".
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I know there's no other way to say it, but when characters are on a first name basis with each other instead of their usual nicknames, you know something is up.
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WHAT?! I'm not the one who's dating Jack, so: she can go fuck herself. I absolutely hate how toxic they make her and her relationship with Keeley, but I also can't ignore all of this. What. the actual. fuck?????
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Either call Rebecca and meet her after or visit Rebecca at work. Because this??? Ughhh. Rebecca would never. Screw it, I'm back on my bullshit. Keeley and Rebecca should have been dating basically from the beginning.
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Not in the way I expected, but the tongue returns. He's such a dork & I love him. :') The fact that none of the boys comment on his shenanigans bc they're so used to him just being This Way. <3
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A Lynx dealer, I'm screaming. :D Though I'm very happy to see Jamie and Colin interacting. "Smart boy." My heart is soft for this friendship. I need this to be connected with Colin's sexuality and Jamie making a statement as bisexual. If not in the show (shame), then as fanfiction.
Also, the tattoo isn't there, I'm sad.
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!!! I like how they keep mentioning how awful The Sun is. Like, it's a thing & everyone knows that & i appreciate them doing that since s1.
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Colin, sweetie... I understand why he does that, but I wish he wouldn't and didn't.
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My boy gets it. <3 Though the part of "that's why I delete all photos from my phone". Babe, all this stuff is probably connected to iCloud or Google Drive, which is... yeah. Won't help you much. Also, your videos are still somehow on twitter. :D
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People said "let us see Jamie's legs" and the creators obliged. Isn't he cold though? C'mon.
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Listen.... the path they walked since s1? I can't get over it. The growth!! The character development!!
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Boys will be boys. :')
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Jamie Tartt, an art and interior design lover.
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The fact that that line is cut to Jamie and Roy's reactions. My heart. When you're two men that still love your ex. I am very deep in my feelings here. There is SO much happening here, my goodness.
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Jamie watching Roy walking away after he heard about that, and both being deep in their thoughts. This drives me crazy tbh. And Jamie's reaction, his love for Keeley. I'm !!!!! :(((((
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I'm sure Isaac is gonna make things right if needed to and he's gonna be very protective over Colin if exposed, but the anxiety in this is real for Colin. I totally get it.
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wallofweird · 4 years
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hi fae, how do you feel about people saying that kevin only tolerates madison bc of kate and therefore they won't work? :/
Hi! Well, I think these people are definitely not watching This Is Us (or any type of television, for that matter) or living on Earth. Or seeing and unseeing things according to their pre-established opinions. Either way, that’s absolutely not true. On most of their interactions Kevin is polite, as you can see it here:
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I love this part because there are at least three other guests closer to him but she is the first person he offers a glass of champagne... If you pay attention to the scene, he is holding THREE glasses. He gives one to Madison and he puts another on a shelf, I don’t know about the third, but there were definitely more women in the room that could’ve had that(those) glass(es), he just didn’t care, lol. Also, Rebecca is looking and smiling at him, but he doesn’t even notice it because he is too busy looking at Madi... I mean, another direction.
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CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)
Kevin doesn’t look very happy with the idea of dancing and still he doesn’t protest.
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CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference
This gif doesn’t show it, but he turns his head and watches Madison as she walks away just like on gif number 4.
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Siding with her during a conversation with Kate.
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CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com (all the gifs above)
Comforting Madison.
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CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/618991372262916096/kevin-looking-at-madison-nothing-but-blue-skies
He isn’t smiling here, but does this seem to be a person that is annoyed with the other? He has soft, delicate, gentle eyes while looking at her.
And this whole thing about Kevin despising Madison and only tolerating her because of Kate is even more ridiculous because on this scene he is basically begging her to invite him to come inside.
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CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/616600065662926848/kevin-x-madison-height-difference
If he thought her company was so unpleasant, why would he accept it in the first place? He could’ve left and gone to Rebecca’s house instead, or come back after Toby got back from work, he could’ve called Randall, or Nicky, or simply gone somewhere else to make new friends because it’s not like struggles when he socializes with strangers.
And here is what Madison had to say about her night with him:
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CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/617836054621339648/do-you-want-to-know-why-i-think-i-slept-with
He made her feel comfortable enough to be her true self and he ended up spending at least a few hours with Madison. He spent the night at her place and only left the next morning... If her presence were so repellent, why didn’t he leave after the sex? Madison didn’t point a gun at him and forced him to stay. Even after he woke up, he kept lying next to her on the bed without a shirt on... Plus, there was the option of leaving without saying anything while she was asleep, but he didn’t do that.
Actually, the only time I believe Kevin was rude to her was at the hospital, but you have to analyze the context: his sister went into early labor, there was an endless list of possible complications to the baby and herself, it took hours until Kevin got some information, Kevin had been drinking, he was dealing with his failed attempt to connect with his uncle, the frustration of having relapsed after an entire year of being sober, feeling guilty for lying to everyone about it and the fear of losing Zoe because of those lies. He was going through A LOT. Those were probably some of the hardest hours of his life. Yet, at first he treated her just fine, it was the fact she wouldn’t stop talking (because that’s the way she was coping with the situation and usually what he does too when he’s sober, btw) that he said those things to her. Now, I don’t drink, but as far as I know people on hangover usually have headaches so it’s not weird that they will avoid noises and I remember Kevin saying a few minutes before that he was on hangover.
I also remember that he immediately regretted it and apologized to Madison, but she didn’t listen and left (I don’t blame her). And when she walked away he was hit by a dose of consciousness and realized his was being “an ass” and apologized to his family. She wasn’t the only one, he was snapping at everybody, because it wasn’t Madison, Randall or anyone else that was annoying him. It wasn’t personal. It was the stress of the entire situation that was making Kevin take it out on everybody. Plus, even though he didn’t specifically snap at Zoe, when he went outside to get some air and clear his head, she offered him company and Kevin shut her out.
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CREDIT: https://thisiskevison.tumblr.com/post/618572824853069824/im-sorry-what-exactly-are-you-doing-here
By the way, Kevin bumped into Madison when he was getting out of the elevator and attempted to apologize for a second time.
Another scene people use as an ‘example’ of rudeness is this moment on the season finale, but I sincerely disagree. Here’s why:
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Kevin was in the middle of a heated fight with his brother and that was almost getting physical when Madison arrived for the party.
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And when she showed up at the door he just told her the truth: it wasn’t a good time.
Now, does that look like an angry, utterly annoyed and disdainful face for you? Because the way I see it, it’s just a guy who’s weary and not in his best state of mind, which is comprehensible since he was in a middle of an argument, his mother’s health is deteriorating, Randall had talked her into doing a clinical trial in the other side of the country despite her previous refusal and that’s just SOME of the heavy stuff he was dealing with at that specific moment.
However, Madison doesn’t bother and enters the place anyway.
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And Kevin doesn’t yell at her, protest or leaves, he just lets her in and closes the door.
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Again: does this look like he hates Madison so much like some people make it seem?
THIS is being annoyed and/or angry:
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CREDIT: https://rostovarps.tumblr.com/post/165520445651/kevin-pearson-in-this-is-us-01x07-the-best
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CREDIT: https://adyadintheforce.tumblr.com/post/177326964546/shame-on-all-of-us
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And this is just being upset, tired, feeling like all your energy has been drained out of your body:
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If you watch the scene, his face on the picture above and on this gif has identical expressions:
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CREDIT: https://ltbelanna.tumblr.com/post/189147462109/this-is-us-4x08-sorry-im-sorry-me-too-see
And really, how did these people expect him to react? Did they expect him to smile, kiss her and propose a second round of hookup? His reaction made perfect sense to everything that was happening at the time.
Do they believe things would’ve been different if it had been someone else at the door, like Kate’s neighbor Gregory or somebody from her support group? Do they think that if it had been another person he would’ve hugged them, offer coffee and crack jokes? That the problem was Madison and not the situation he was in with Randall and Rebecca? 
Anywaaaay, by the end of their conversation he had already softened up and was even slightly smiling at her. 
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CREDIT: https://millennial-mess.tumblr.com/post/613565105725194240/im-so-sick-of-chasing-ghosts-im-tired-of
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CREDIT: https://madsdefencesquad.tumblr.com/post/620438418688704513/you-da-best
Sure, it wan’t a wide smile because it wasn’t like his problems had disappeared all of a sudden, but he had found a silver lining in the midst of everything.
And being exhausted, upset, annoyed, stressed or angry is part of the human experience and part of being in a relationship of ANY KIND: romantic, platonic, familial. Taking it out on someone can happen sometimes as well. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows. People are not perfect. People are not robots. They navigate through negative feelings and emotions too. It’s how things are in real life and also how things are on television, specially on This Is Us, which is a show that focuses on relationships and emotions.
Jack and Rebecca, Beth and Randall, Kate and Toby, Randall and Kevin, Kevin and Kate, Nicky and Kevin, Kevin and Sophie, William and Randall, Kevin and Cassidy all had moments like this... The list goes on. Would the same people define these relationships/friendships as unsuccessful and fake because of a few unfriendly moments? I doubt it, because what really defines a relationship as healthy and successful is the people’s ability to recognize their own mistakes, forgive each other, work on themselves as individuals and as friends/a couple/a family and getting even closer and stronger after facing the hardships. It’s not smiling, talking, hugging and kissing 24/7 because nobody does that. Maybe for a few days and weeks, but you won’t last even a month behaving like this, let alone YEARS.
And the complications are also what keep the story interesting and engaging. I don’t mean something like toxicity and abuse, but if couples, relatives and friends don’t disagree, argue and face problems out and within their relationship, the show doesn’t go anywhere. There must be conflict. There must be drama. And there must be happiness. It’s about balancing these aspects out.
If they want to watch something that’s always sunshine and rainbows and where the characters are always happy, they should watch a TV show targeted to three-year-old children, because honestly This Is Us has never been and will never be this kind of show. 
And we know Kevin has a pregnant fiancee on season 5 and since This Is Us is not a soap opera, I seriously doubt Kevin will go out there impregnating multiple women with multiple children and multiple sets of twins. I reckon it’s safe to say it’s Madison. That means they will go through one of the most amazing and yet vulnerable and challenging experiences two people can ever face and instead of pulling them apart, it will only bring them closer to the point they will get engaged. For me, this sounds like a relationship that is DEFINITELY WORKING.
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Text
Hall of Fame
Summary: In 1936 Reader was a nurse for Sarah Rogers while capturing the attention of Bucky. Hesitate on starting anything due to your past and the job you had. Overtime you begin to follow your heart for Bucky, courtesy of Sarah’s wishes. What happens when the life you built could fall apart at any moment with the approaching war.
Words: 4054
Author: Caitsy
Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader, pre-serum!Steve, Winifred and George Barnes, Rebecca Barnes, Sarah Rogers, daughter!Lydia/OC x Bucky Barnes
Warnings: Swearing, mention of death, character death, fluff, a lot of angst, pregnancy, death of child, murder, drowning.
Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Marvel nor do I own any pictures or gifs. Enjoy.
A/N Who doesn’t like Bucky falling in love and having kids! Yet in typical fashion of my writing of course it has to have angst. I wasn’t going to post this until tomorrow or the following day but the amount of support has been astounding.
THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING ASH AND I!!
Tagging: I’m tagging a lot of people so let me know if you don’t want to be tagged! Let us know if you would like to tagged in anything!
Masterlist
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He watched her across the busy restaurant barely giving his attention to the brunette beside him talking his ear off. You was quite the dame but the lovely spirited girl laughing at her companion had him enthralled. The brunette was rather peeved at the lack of the attention from the strapping male she had gravitated to.
“Bucky?” The girl huffed crossing her arms. Lips pursed together grumbling grabbing her bag and standing, “You…you jerk!”
“Sure.” Bucky distractedly said watching the interaction of the object of his affections with her male companion Steve. Steve?!
“Hmph!” The brunette screamed stomping out of the diner into the cold night. Whereas Bucky was shocked watching his small statured friend make a girl that was out his league giggle. The smouldering girl glanced over her friends shoulder to see an exquisite male lift his milkshake up in response to her glance. The pretty dame watched as Steve looked over his shoulder seeing the usual object of female’s affections smirking. Bucky. Steve nodded him over and watched an unusual response as Bucky tripped on his way over.
“Hey Buck.” “Hey punk.” Bucky response not removing his eyes from the girl.
“This is the nurse who’s looking after my Mom. “We’re four-“ “Five.”
“Oh! We’re five times removed cousin on my Dad’s side.” Steve finished smiling over at her. 
 “Hi. I’m Bucky the reason Steve isn’t pounded black and blue all the time.” Bucky grinned.
“Y/N Y/L/N. It’s nice to meet you.” Y/N smiled, almost beaming up at him. You reminded him of Steve despite being a little taller than average.
“Can I get you a milkshake?”
“I actually don’t have a lot of time to be honest.” Y/N said pushing a hair that had fallen down behind her hair, “I have to go check up with Mrs. Rogers. You had a better morning than yesterday.”
“Is you getting better?” Steve asked concerned.
“At this point you’s better than normal.” Y/N smiled sadly watching as Steve began to get relieved, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Steve it’s the calm before the storm.”
“What do you mean?” Bucky asked confused. He saw Steve’s shoulders slump as if he knew what was going to be said next.
“A lot of patients health peak before dramatically dropping.” Y/N said clearing her throat.
“Buck. It means Mom doesn’t have a lot of time left.” Steve mumbled looking down at the ground.
“I’ve been looking after Sarah because the cost of a nurse is high and the economy right now isn’t financial good for the Rogers.” Y/N admitted ignoring the look Steve was sending her, “I gave my paycheque amount, which is more half the usual amount.”
“What?” Steve exclaimed angrily.
“You’re letting me stay with you and feeding me. Doing this is more than enough payment. Drop it.” Y/N firmly told him.
Bucky watched enthralled as the woman in front of him went from soft spoken to very firm. It was both amusing and adorable to watch and for the first time he believed he may be able to answer Rebecca’s question. The question on Bucky would ever fall in love and get married. The answer stood right in front of him.
“Here.” Steve mumbled helping her into the jacket, “I’ll see you in awhile.”
“Sure.” Y/N smiled at both of the boys before walking out the door into the cold day.
Bucky smiled watching her until he couldn’t see in his sight anymore, hearing an agonizing cough following by more he looked to the side. Standing there was an annoyed Steve Rogers that was hacking after the first intentional cough. “You okay, Punk?”
“S-shut up!” Steve retorted straightening after re-catching his breath, “Please tell me you aren’t going to go after her.”
“What do you mean?”
“Buck, you don’t have a good track record in relationships.” Steve admitted watching the reaction of his best friend.
“What about that blonde-“ Bucky started.
“That was one date and you can’t remember her first name.” Steve sighed, “That’s proves you’re not good at being in romantic relationships.”
“I never found the right girl to have one with.” Bucky huffed crossing his arms. He didn’t want to admit that Steve was in fact right about that.
He was a ladies man that was sure, he loved charming woman that were willing. He had a knack for dancing and he didn’t want to brag but he was good looking. He had never found the girl that blew him away until Y/N and he had only just met her.
“If you aren’t serious about her then please don’t go after her.” Steve pleaded, “Life  hasn’t been kind to her.”
“What do you mean?” Bucky questioned confused.
“Y/N lost her fiancé a year ago.” Steve admitted looking down, “They had known each other since they were young and fell in love. He died a few weeks before the wedding.”
“Oh.” Bucky said shocked.
                                                    〰️〰️〰️
The leaves had fallen off the trees when October came leaving the apartment to begin to cool down a little more each day. Y/N was humming as you did the dishes killing time before you would help Sarah bath. At this point Sarah could joke around and tease her about the boy that followed her around with Steve. Bucky. Other than that Sarah could hardly move in the bed.
Her hands were covered in suds as the door to the apartment opened and both Steve and Bucky came into the small cramped room. They were joking around with each other and both smiled seeing Y/N in the kitchen.
“Hello boys.” Y/N smiled wiping her hands on a towel as the sink drained.
“Doll, have you changed your mind?” Bucky smiled charmingly, “One night of dancing.”
“I can’t. I promised Sarah we would read a book together.” Y/N replied starting to put the dishes away. You smiled in thanks as Steve began to help putting the stuff away. For the last couple months since they met Bucky had been trying to get her to go out with him. It wasn’t because you didn’t like him but it was more like you felt it was betraying Albert. It had been three years since his death and while it got easier the wound never healed.
“Come on.” Bucky said pouting. It almost had Y/N before you chuckled turning away.
“I’m sure there are lots of dames that would love to go out with you.”
“There’s only one dame I want.” Bucky chuckled sitting down at the small table, “Do you want to play cards with Steve and I?”
“No thanks. I don’t want to hurt your feelings when I win.”
“You can play then because you ain’t winning against me.” Bucky teased stretching his long legs out.
What Bucky didn’t know is that her family hadn’t had a lot of money growing up so family nights involved card games. Against her mother’s wishes her father taught her how to play poker and nail poker face also. You was proud to say you was an expert at cards.
“If you say so.” Y/N teased sitting down at the table with the two males. A tattered deck of cards already shuffled.
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
Two weeks after playing cards with Bucky and Steve it became clear that Sarah wasn’t going to make it past tomorrow. It was mid morning when Sarah urgently requested you go get her son, not wasting anytime Y/N, wearing her low height heels, raced off the diner where you first met Bucky.
Her hair fell out of her tight bun as the wind raced past and her breathing became heavy as you continued on. Mumbling apologies you ran around the people in Brooklyn until you came across the diner. Inside at a booth was the laughing pair. Both looked up in concern as Y/N crouched trying to catch her breath. “Whoa! Doll, are you okay?” Bucky questioned kneeling down to place a hand on her shoulder, “Did you run all the way?”
“S-Steve.” Y/n choked gladly taking the water he had been drinking. Gulping some of it you finished, “It’s your mom.”
Without another word the trio began a fast pace back to the apartment so that Steve wouldn’t collapse. Waiting a minute Steve grabbed the spare key and unlocked the door. Swiftly he raced towards his mother’s room where he heard a weak cough. “We’ll give you a minute.” Bucky sadly said putting his arm around Y/N waist. You didn’t bother moving away.
Nearly half an hour passed before Steve came out with cheeks stained of tears. His blue eyes swirled with sadness and tears as he sat on the couch. He sniffled before looking towards his friends.
“Buck. Mom wants to talk to you.” Steve cried.
“Okay.” Bucky replied walking into the bedroom.
“Sh.” Y/N whispered hugging Steve close to her. The small man choked on his tears as he hugged the taller girl even closer.
It wasn’t long before Bucky walked out to the living room motioning towards Y/N. The girl got up from the couch had wandered into the room where Sarah was weakly coughing. The woman motioned her nurse over to talk but instead Y/N began to care for her until her hand was very weakly shoved away.
“Marry that boy.” Sarah smiled up at her, “You’ve become a very important part of this family and I love you.”
“I love you too.” Y/N said brushing back the older woman’s hair.
“Take care of my boy but let Bucky take care of you.” Sarah sighed closing her eyes.
Ten minutes passed by slowly until Sarah Rogers died at 2:30pm on October 15, 1936. Keeping to the wishes Sarah said Y/N accepted a date with Bucky later that week.
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
The dance hall was filled to the brim nearly a year after Sarah had died leaving a heartbroken son. The blue dress was one of Y/N favourites because it twirled along with you and was warm enough for the weather. The black shoes strapped to her feet were a new pair from a couple months ago. Lips painted a bright red. You took Bucky’s breath away.
Both of them were twenty years old and deeply in love with each other, a redheaded woman across the room bit her lip. The female had always had a crush on Bucky Barnes and until Dot saw his girl had a ring on her finger giving up wasn’t happening. Dot wandered over fluttering her lashes.
“Hey James.” You smiled, “I’m Dot.”
“Uh…” Bucky tried off not knowing why the girl was there, “Can I help you?”
“Could you spare a dance for little ‘ole me?” Dot sweetly smiled looking up at the much taller man.
Y/N raised on eyebrow as you watched the woman sweet talking her boyfriend while he looked uncomfortable. You had never seen him look uncomfortable and it sure was a sight to see. Taking pity on him you grinned coming back to Bucky as he kissed the side of her head.
“All my dances are for this beautiful girl.” Bucky smiled looking down at his girl.
“Are-“
“Excuse us, we some dances to get to.” You smiled pulling Bucky onto the lively dance floor.
The night went by fast until Bucky had dragged you outside of a walk in a local park that was breathtaking. His arm was around you’re shoulder as you sighed enjoying the heat coming from him. She became confused when he stopped near a pond.
“Y/N Y/L/N, you captured my heart the minute I saw you in the diner. I know you haven’t had a good life before and I know you were going to have a family a couple years before. I don’t want to replace the man you loved before me and I never could. I want to know if there’s room in that large heart of yours for me and our future kids if you agree. I spent years not knowing I was trying to find someone. The ring isn’t big but I think our love makes up for that, so would you do me the greatest honour of becoming my best friend, wife and future mother of my kids by marrying him?” Bucky asked kneeling down with a tasteful ring with a small diamond.
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You’re hands flew to your mouth in utter shock and happiness. One tear trailed down your cheek as you furiously nodded your head while Bucky pushed the ring on your finger. Climbing up to his feet her deeply kissed you causing your tears to mix together.
“I love you.” Bucky whispered moving his lips to her forehead. “I love you too.”
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
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James and Y/N Barnes were married in the winter of 1937 in the midst of Bucky’s entire family, the small family you had left along with Steve. It was a small gathering in the local church with Rebecca serving as the maid of honour and Steve as the best man. It was awkward for Steve being ‘coupled’ with his best friend’s little sister.
The reception was short and sweet before the newlyweds retreated to the small motel room they had managed to get. The night was blissful as they consummated their love in that small dark room while snow fell calmly outside. Pulling you into his arms Bucky hugged you close as you both began to fall asleep.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Nine months after their wedding night the creation of their love was born late in the night of February 16, 1938 with a nervous Steve and Barnes family waiting in the room room. A midwife inside helping you deliver the little baby you had come to love so very much. Steve bit his lip anticipation almost killing you right there.
The door opened to the bedroom with an emotional Bucky grinning at his best friend in the world. The most beautiful sound from the room he had left echoed in the small apartment. Steve shot up and pulled Bucky into a hug.
“Lydia Adaline Barnes would like very much to meet her family.” Bucky cried happily causing cheers through the room, “If you would wait a few minutes for Y/N to get ready and you can come meet her.”
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Bucky returned into the room where you were being checked and cleaned up before the sheets were changed. Lydia now cleaned from the goo and cuddled on her mother’s chest. Bucky carefully sat on the bed next to his wife as he gazed down to the little girl that already had him wrapped around her finger.
“Hi sweetie.” Bucky whispered kissing the girl on the forehead watching as her blue eyes, the usual eye colour of a caucasian newborn, gazed into his.
The room became crowded once everyone was in the room just as the midwife left and gave the okay. George and Winifred closely watched their first grandchild interact with her father and mother. Rebecca squealed calling to the first to hold her niece.
“She’s so precious.” Winifred teared up, “Her name is so pretty!”
“Congratulations, son.” George said giving Bucky a thump on the back.
“She’s gorgeous!” Steve gasped gazing at the little girl.
“Would you be her godfather?” Bucky asked already knowing the answer. Steve nodded pulling his best friend in for a hug
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
You leaned against the door jam watching your husband playing with your daughter, she was now a little over a year with hair that had gone way too fast. She was crawling but had yet to say mother than ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ or even walk. She was a cuddle bug with a fiery personality already.
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“Come on sweetheart!” Bucky cooed towards his dark haired daughter. She giggled crawling towards him, “You can walk! I know you can! You were walking yesterday.”
“Dada!” Lydia exclaimed reaching for him. Bucky sighed leaning back biting his lip and running a hand through his hair.
Bucky had been very protective over Lydia, Addie for short, since she was born and worried heavily on her development. You, as a nurse, knew she was learning at her own pace and her development was on schedule. You had explained and even got Addie’s doctor to explain but it didn’t stop Bucky from worrying.
“Do you think that…I mean I don’t care if she’s…but I don’t want her to-“
“Buck. She’s fine. She’s just not ready to walk yet. My family were the same by not walking until seventeen months and Addie is only seventeen months ago. Remember she was walking yesterday but it’s a process.”
“I know. I worry too much.” Bucky admitted kissing Addie on the head.
“Yes you do.” You chuckled sitting on the ground with your small family.
It was difficult to maneuver while you were pregnant again with your second child. Both you and Bucky wanted your first two kids to be adequately close in age. By the time this baby came Addie would be almost two years old.
“How’s the little nugget.” Bucky question smiling at his unborn child.
“Making me tired.” You joked patting your bump. You were showing more than when you were pregnant with Addie.
You were four months pregnant despite appearing to be five months pregnant with a healthy baby. You were planning on another home birth with the family helping out with looking after Addie. You had the necessities and the clothes Addie had grown out of from birth to now. You had decided keeping everything was more cost efficient than buying new stuff.
“You can rest.” Bucky chuckled. “I already napped for awhile.” You said kissing Bucky on the cheek.
“Mama!” Addie squealed kissing your tummy. She didn’t really understand what was happening but she was still a very sweet little girl.
“Hey sweetie.” You grinned kissing her cheek.
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
You were humming again as you made yours and Bucky’s bed in the morning waiting for Addie and Will to calm down. They were both very different in personality despite the close age but both scared blue eyes with their dad. Addie had Bucky’s dark hair while Will had blonde hair.
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Addie was bubbly, outgoing and fiery in temper. Will was more reserved than his sister and reminded you very much of Steve to be honest but he was also only two years old. He was the calm child that adored his sister as much as she adored him. They were both troublemakers when they wanted to be.
“Momma!” Addie exclaimed, “Will hit me!”
“Addie, don’t take his toys.” Bucky exclaimed walking in the door. He was spending so much time with the kids and you in this time.
The news of soldiers being drafted war was going around shortly after America declared war on Japan. The nation had been shook when Japan attacked Pearl Harbour and soon men were racing to join the fight. Among a lot of tears and begging followed by a bad fight with Bucky led to the agreement that Bucky would enlist.
“Afternoon doll.” Bucky said kissing the side of your head. You giggled pushing him away to place the pillow on the bed.
“How was work?” You questioned kissing him quickly.
“Dull. Steve’s still trying to enlist.”
“Training him probably wasn’t the smartest idea.” You chuckled shaking your head.
“True.” Bucky laughed, “I know when I’m shipping out.”
“When?” You sighed burrowing deeper into his arms.
“Day after tomorrow. Steve’s upset he got rejected again so I’m taking him to an Expo. Managed to snag Martha to be his date so I can sneak back home to see my wife.” Bucky kissed your neck before feeling two sets of arms wrap around his legs. Looking down to see his children he scooped them into his arms.
“Daddy!” Addie giggled along with Will. Laughing together the Barnes family returned to the living room where the kids began to play together again.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” You whispered back.
                                                   〰️〰️〰️
Life drastically changed with the war getting more and more dangerous. Steve managed to get enlisted and some serum changed him to be much bigger than before. Addie began school shorty after the news of Bucky being found as a POW. That broke everyone’s heart but was nothing compared to when the Y/N and the kids lives were shattered forever.
In 1945, when Addie was seven and Will was five, you received news that your husband had tragically lost his life. Shorty after Steve crashed a plan into the ocean and you were lost in sea of mourning. Things were made worse when you learnt that during the time Howard Stark flew you to see a recovering Bucky you had fallen pregnant again.
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Addie and Will began helping around the house you had bought with savings while you tended to the newborn twins. You were beyond frazzled and getting help from your in-laws because four kids was something you had thought you would share with Bucky. What made it worse was that your newborn daughter Elizabeth James Barnes and Thomas Steven Barnes were born on Bucky’s birthday in 1946.
〰️〰️〰️
Even at ninety-nine you still had your memory in perfect health minus the cancer that returned only a few months ago. There was no fighting this time and you thought back on your life watching the men sitting in the chair next to you. Apparently Bucky and Steve hadn’t died at all with serum running in both of their veins.
Bucky had lost his life with you and the kids while Steve lost his chance of happiness with Peggy Carter. Even now with Sharon she could see the pain in his eyes.
“Can you tell me about our life?” Bucky’s rough voice questioned looking at his wife.
“We had four-“
“What?” Steve and Bucky exclaimed shocked.
“The night we spent together while you recovered from torture we conceived twins that were born on your birthday in 1946.” You sighed watching your wrinkling hands tearing up at the memories.
“Our children go Lydia Adaline was born February 16, 1938 and William George was born December 31, 1940. Our daughter Elizabeth James and her twin brother Thomas Steven were born March 10, 1946.” You wept looking at the pictures on your wall.
“You named him after me.” Steve smiled looking at the images.
“It seemed right. I got a lot of words on giving Elizabeth a male middle name but I wanted her to have a part of you.”
Bucky was crying at the news and how much he had lost.
“Addie is a retired teacher with two sons and one grandchild. Jamie is now a retired nurse with only one child. Tommy’s the police commissioner in New York and he’s got six children and ten grandchildren with another on the way.” You answered closing your eyes tightly.
“What about Will?” Hearing Will’s name fall out of Bucky’s mouth sent you into a mourning sobbing mess.
“Will. My little baby William drowned when he was 10 years old, i-it was painful because one of the older boys…” You trailed off remembering the day you learnt what happened, “This older boy was interested in people being brought back from death. For a solid hour and a half he drowned Will and resuscitated multiple times.”
“No.” The strangled voice of Bucky brought you back to reality, “How bad?”
“H-He…he had multiple fractures in his chest area, stomach…he was carved with a missing ear and heart.” You sobbed, “Will was the first human that monster killed and the first only one he took the heart from.”
There in the cold white hospital room with multiple family pictures, an elderly lady, and two young super soldiers the silence killed. The agony of losing her child was brought back tenfold and soon her heart monitor was beeping in one long noise. Bucky thrashed in Steve’s arms as his wife died from a broken heart with a side of cancer but he didn’t miss her last words that he returned like always.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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