#giftandguile

[nonhumen]

@giftandguile : " need a light? " the man asks, lifting a lighter to the stranger. his gloved hand raised over it like an umbrella in the snow, he smiles warmly at dazai. " and i do mean for more than just your cigarette. "

he always loved the water. the sound was comforting, the flow giving him a sense of serenity. to be swept away, carried under the current where the world could not reach him, will always be his preferred method of suicide. to be cleansed of sin, one might say, though dazai doesn't put much stock in god.

the neva river is different, its water darker than the sagami. it calls to him, coaxes him into its depths like a sweet lullaby. who needs a siren when there is the lapping of the waves against the bridge? dazai fishes the open cigarette pack out of his coat. japanese brand. odasaku's. i'll be with you soon.

a voice brings him out of his melancholic revelry. auburn eyes glance behind him and the cigarette nearly drops from his lips. he's in a haze of despair but he thought for a second he saw himself. no, it's the ghost of a stranger. it must be, for who would bother a poor foreigner in the middle of the night? since january, dazai has only known the company of ghosts.

those violet eyes cut deep and dazai has decided they are too sharp to be a ghost. a demon then, meant to see him off to hell. yes, that seems more fitting. dazai is very familiar with demons.

" let's start with the cigarette first. " perfect russian, though heavily accented. dazai has only been here for a month. " see how far the gets you. " he turns away from his beloved water to face the demon, bowing his head to meet the flame.

[sunderedscript]

@giftandguile“ i’m here. “ ( chuuya to kyu! )

A job, a rare occasion to be free even if it meant their arms were littered with razor blades and barbed wire, something Kyusaku had to learn to do on their own. Curse and be done, maybe get a treat on their way back- But something went wrong, and while they no longer properly felt pain, for it all felt the exact same, it felt woozy and weak. Even though blood trickled the same as it had when they cursed Dazai's friend, this time it had them stumble and falter. Like the world was weird and then it was darkness, inky black holding them tight.

They wake like the world was about to end, with wide eyes and fitful limbs, The smell of antiseptic burns too harshly and the pure white too harsh on their eyes. But they freeze when they hear it, simple words for someone who never seemed to care, not that Kyusaku ever expected it. A small frown as they try to calm down. But they can't. They just can't. The endless white and the people dressed the same like they wanted to blend in and cut them apart when they didn't seem to notice- Like Kyusaku was foreign and weird, like an alien.

Kyusaku hates hospitals.

"I don't want to be here. I don't. I don't. I don't!!! I rather be locked up. Get me out-" A ramble, hurried words and tangled fears. They don't want to be here- Why were they here? Was the boss abandoning them, returning them to the hospital they had been taken from? Was Chuuya here to tell them that? That they messed up too much and too often? That Dazai was right to keep them locked up like an animal?

[clown-demon]

@giftandguile

The Russian was quietly reading a book in his room, before hearing foot falls coming his way. He didn't even have to look up to know WHO it was.

He quietly turned a page and continued reading. "Did you need something, Nikolai?" he asked, seeming to not really give the clown any of his attention for now other than a few words.

[chaosbled]

@prodigls asked: " i know we haven't seen eye to eye, arahabaki, " dazai says quietly as he stands a few feet from the god. " but why him? why did you have to bring fyodor back? "

He shouldn’t have come back to the city , he just wanted to say goodbye .

It was late , the lingering glow of the sunset had long since been obliterated by the sky rapidly falling into a dark , moonless night . He had waited for it , until the salmon pink & violet sky had dipped into twilight blue before plunging into a vast expanse of jet black that engulfed the city , the brilliant luminosity of the stars nearly drowned out by the light pollution of Yokohama’s businesses .

The shadows were welcoming , at least to a creature such as him . A sharp contrast to the bustling of the daytime , now it was near silent , save for the passing traffic .

Ara leans over the railing of the building , staring at the sky . “ …I don’t think it will come as any surprise to you , but I am quite fond of you , Dazai . ” He says softly . “ You’re aware of my feelings . I’m sure you’ve known of them for longer than I have . ” Ara had grown up with Dazai & Chuuya , in a manner of speaking . He was always there , buried in the red-haired boy’s soul . Every mission , every screaming match , every laugh & touch . He was there . Of course he had developed feelings , bound to this human body , subjected to human emotion . How could he not ? He had never asked for this . He never asked to love either of them .

“ It… wasn’t to hurt you , Dazai . I promise . Fyodor… reminds me of myself . Cast aside & ostracized for being something she never asked for , nor had a say in . I stayed with Chuuya after our separation because he didn’t want me to leave . Because he believed he needed me to be strong . Chuuya has always been strong , but he doesn’t do well left alone . ” He pushes himself away from the roof edge to look at Dazai . “ Meursault made it clear no matter what , he would always have you . His heart has always belonged to you , & he doesn’t need me . I do not belong here . I don’t belong anywhere , because of my aunt . She took away my heart . I’m going to pay her back in kind . Fyodor is going to help me . I will not drag you into a divine war that will cost Chuuya your life . Aside from you , he is the only human with the intelligence to take on my family . We have an… understanding . I do not believe he intends to target your city again . ” So long as he has me , goes unspoken .

[finalism]

@giftandguile : “  i’ll aim for your heart. i wouldn’t want to damage your face, after all  ”

everyone knows that demons don't die. they may go away for some time but they will always, always come back. dazai is no stranger to demons. he was one himself, once, and knows how crafty they can be. they know when to come out of the shadows, to make themselves known at the most opportune time when the object of their possession is at their weakest.

that moment is now.

" and here i thought my heart is what you would want intact. " a smile curls over bloody lips as the detective gazes up at his demon, back from the shadows dazai thought he had left behind. the ground is cold, the rain washing his blood away in pink rivulets down his skin. but he isn't fooling anyone. that precious heart is pounding with excitement in his chest. the world isn't boring as long as fyodor is in it.

" or do damaged things taste better? "

[barxlupin]

HOW DO YOU VIEW LOVE?

soft love that is welcoming, one that encompasses you in its warmth. the feeling of a warm mug after a cold day. familiar huffs of laughter respond in the air as you lean on each other for balance. the feeling of falling on a soft bed of clouds on a nice sunny day. of waves lapping at sand on a beach.

TAGGED BY: stolen from @starspurn <3

TAGGING: @theyoungblooded / @gravityilluminated / @chaosbled @giftandguile / @serosanguine and whoever else wants to do it <3

[burniingup]

Starter for | @giftandguile

"Miss Okura...back so soon?" the doctor asks, voice laced with annoyance.

Mishio looks up from some papers he had previously been scribbling some notes on. He flips it over to hide its content, despite being completely illegible to anyone but himself.

The doctor is a man who takes great pride in his work, even finding some joy in the more challenging aspects of it. However, what he considers to be his true work, and his actual job description seem to differ. Hired as a surgeon tasked with altering and enhancing the bodies of the military's finest soldiers, he feels actual wound care and first aid should be left to those beneath him. And truthfully, he would prefer his free time in between the monthly upkeep surgeries be spent on his personal projects.

Still regardless of what he may think, he's not really allowed to turn away his patients when they stumble back to base, battered from whatever mission they've been assigned.

"Obviously I recognize that in your line of work injury is inevitable. But surely as one of my most valuable projects, you should be able to avoid creating so much extra work for me?"

[shonde]

" i cannot fight my legacy of monstrosity and death upon my house. " frankie stands as straight as they can. they know that they are more than the gifted who stands before them. a monster created in a lab a mere fifteen days ago. born from science and graverobbing. sparked to life with viktor's love and mary's rage. little stein stands before person in front of them. a small smile forming on their lips. they reach a hand out. there's a glint of red hair beneath the hat in front of them.

" i can only embrace it and make something new of it. is that why you're here? or have you come to take me with you? " / @giftandguile gets frankie for chuuya

[a-hell-of-a-lot-of-muses]

he's seen this man before, in his journeys through the hospital for supplies. low grade ones like this always have less security, and there's a forlorn nature to the way he looks at the comatose body.

weakness. clutching the bag of medications and prescriptions, fyodor approaches the priest. " come to pray for her? "

The longer he stared at her, the worse the guilt became. His hands had long since balled into fists at his side as he tried to maintain some semblance of composure, but his emotions showed on his face as plain as day. This is probably why the stranger approached him.

"...you could say that," he said, bitterness seeping into his tone. He knew that no amount of prayer would heal her, nor would the laying on of hands or whatever other word of faith nonsense other believers would come up with. One could not simply speak something into existence, unless they too thought they were God. While God could heal if he so chose, most of the time he didn't, so prayers were useless in his mind. His only hope was finding a practical, man made cure.

How ironic; a man of faith depending on the intelligence of humans rather than the power of The Almighty.

[sagittaestardust]

What are some general hygiene things you do? How do you normally do your hair? What kind of products do you use?

☠ ― Questions the Muse Can Answer

"I follow a 6 step routine when it comes to my hair."

"Step 1: A simple cleanse. Washing your hair is a basic step that everyone should do at a minimum, and at least every other day, as I do. Personally I recommend a sulfate-free moisturizing shampoo, which is beneficial to hair and the health of your scalp. You want to use your fingertips, not your nails. Again, I suggest every other day, as washing too often will strip your hair of natural oils and can disturb the scalp.

Step 2: Conditioner and nourishment. This part is essential. Conditioner, of course, detangles your hair, provides moisture, and seals cuticles. Shampoo can deplete moisture, so following up with conditioner, such a silicone free one, will benefit your hair health greatly.

Step 3: Detangle. This can also be part of step 2 if you use a comb while conditioning. Ultimately, detangling should start while in the shower, after you apply the conditioner. Leave-in conditioner is especially good for this. I recommend starting at the ends of your hair and working up towards the roots for easy detangling.

Step 4: Prime and styling. You must always prepare the hair thoroughly before using heated equipment, such as curlers and straighteners. Never use heated tools on wet or damp hair. You want to allow the hair ample time to dry after applying the heat protectant before using any equipment. And remember, when using a primer, a little goes a long way. Pea-sized blots are all you need.

Step 5: Moisturizing. To repeat myself, a little goes a long way. Any oil you use for this should be used in quantities of 1 to 4 drops depending on length and thickness of hair. You always want to warm the product up between your palms as well. Leave-in conditioner is also good for this as well, if you do not wish to use extra oils and cut a step.

Step 6: Treatments. These are sprinkled in throughout the week, with a rotation of every other day. I follow an oil treatment procedure. Section hair into two parts, coat each section, braid the hair, and let it absorb overnight. This step is entirely optional, however I try not to miss treatments."

[bemuseing]

💌 waves awkwardly

Send 💌 if you want to interact but are shy

Hello!! Thank you, I've been seeing you on my dash a lot and intending to interact for a while, the biggest thing getting in the way on my end has been a big patch of low muse... I'll make extra effort to get something started :0 would you be interested in exchanging discord? I'm not the best at plotting there but it'll probably help!

[nonhumen]

@giftandguile : " did you hear me, idiot? i said i think i love you. "

yeah, he heard him. he wished he hadn't. it would be so much easier if he hadn't. but things are never easy for dazai osamu (things aren't easy for nakahara chuuya either, but dazai doesn't realize the extent of it until much later). so he's left with the pounding of his heart so loud and so painful that he thinks it will burst in his chest and fly across the room. he's left with sweaty palms and a wave of nausea. if he were thinking straight, dazai would be able to pinpoint these as classic symptoms of fear and anxiety. but what exactly would he be afraid of?

because all that is going through his head is why? why would chuuya say that? why would chuuya tell him that? love is not something allowed near dazai. he does not love nor can he be loved. this is a simple fact. love is an emotion reserved for humans.

" pffft. " dazai shakes with excess energy for one usually so still. something bubbles in his throat, ready to be released and never taken back. " ahahahahaha! " dazai laughs. he laughs with the enthusiasm of a child running away from something scary. distance. there must be distance. run faster and farther. push it away. cry and scream until it can never hurt you again.

and dazai has always been a master of destruction.

" that's pretty amazing! i didn't know chuuya could tell jokes. " he turns around, still laughing. " and they say you can't teach a dog new tricks. maybe your chibi brain is still growing after all! " dazai doesn't look back. he can't. he's too afraid.

his cheek stings from the punch. he can feel the burn of it spreading across the entire side of his face. but it's not enough. dazai wants more. he wants chuuya to beat him into the ground, to break him and make him bleed like he is inside. but they both know he won't. chuuya is not someone to hurt those he cares about. those he loves. dazai will have to do it himself later.

and yet chuuya hurts dazai in a way only he can. chuuya hurts his heart. it aches to see him, to see the anger and the betrayal and his own pain staring back at him in eyes that could never hide anything. the worst part is now dazai knows what this feeling is. it's always been there, buried deep behind the darkness dazai willingly drowned in. but it took the light to realize the truth, the truth chuuya has known for years.

" you heard me, " dazai says brokenly. " i love you. " he knows he's late; he's four years too late. maybe that's why he's saying it. maybe he just wants chuuya to kill him the way dazai knows he killed chuuya back then. his heart screams for him, for the only who can truly complete him. and when it had been chuuya's heart screaming for dazai? he had laughed in his face like the monster he is.

it's not scary anymore. it just hurts. " i'm sorry. i love you. "

[sunderedscript]

@giftandguile " pleasure to make your acquaintance, detective, " kouyou greets ayatsuji warmly, despite the cold handcuffs clinking against her wrists. " care to let me out of these so we can have a proper chat, dear? "

Cold golden eyes watch the executive for a moment, debating and calculating if the risks were worth it. In the end, he does as he is asked. This woman was no fool, and she probably already knew about the sniper watching him at the moment.

"I know you could have done so yourself." He understands the psychology behind her asking and lets it go, returning to sit in his chair, hand moving to take ahold of his pipe. "So Ozaki-san. I doubt you let me catch you as easily as you did without an ulterior motive. Unless you have a fondness for being captured, so spit it out. If you're worried about the possibility of me looking into the murders committed by that child, you came here needlessly. I have no interest or reason to do so. I normally get work from corrupt politicians-"

As disgusting as it was. But there is nothing Ayatsuji could do about it. So Yukito fills his pipe with tobacco and lights it, letting the smoke fill his lungs as he closes his eyes. He had a sudden feeling today was going to be a long one.

[clown-demon]

@giftandguile

"Dos-kun Dos-kun~! LOOK~! Aren't these mushrooms ADORABLE~!" It's just a mushroom with some googly eyes on it.

[chaosbled]

“Oh~? Is that an invitation, my darling landlord?”

Ara smiles down at the redhead, pulling him closer by the hips, ruby eyes gleam with amusement. “A therapist would call you a narcissist considering my human form is moulded after you. I won’t lie, you’re an exceptionally pretty mortal. But I don’t mind, I spent long enough inside your head I’m sure I could hazard a guess as to what you’d like, Hikari-chan~” he teases playfully like the absolute menace that he is.

{ @giftandguile // disaster waiting to happen }

[barxlupin]

@giftandguile - continued from ask.

Maurice isn't quite sure how Chuuya likes his morning coffee, so the cup he offers his 'host' is just plain black, but it's brewed to perfection, like only a bartender worth their salt is capable of. And it's offered alongside a spoon, a sugar bowl and a small jug of milk, should Chuuya want to add any of those. Maurice is nothing but thourough in his service, and he hopes Chuuya doesn't mind if he's 'snooped' in his kitchen to do so. He feels like Chuuya will need it.

The redhead's question, something in his tone, makes Maurice hesitate to reply. He feels like Chuuya might not like the answer. The young Executive is a cheerful kind of drunk, happily blathering about this and that with enough wine in his system, but Maurice suspects he's not the type to easily confide in others. And he doesn't want to make him feel more exposed than he already must feel...

"...you asked me not to leave you." Maurice answers then, because it sounds like the least delicate among what Chuuya had said last night, although it will probably haunt Maurice's dreams for the rest of his life, however long or short it might end up being.

"Please don't leave me!"

He's ranted about someone mostly (a name that tickles Maurice's brain in a way that should mean something but he's too focused on more important things to remember at the moment), tone equal parts anger and sadness... the bitter kind of both, one Maurice is all too familiar with...

"You drank quite a lot last night, more than what you'd usually drink. Had a rough day, or did you particularly appreciate my newest selection of French wines?~" Maurice asks, taking his place back on the small cozy sofa by Chuuya's bed, making a show of making himself comfortable there with his own cup of coffee. A clear sign that he's not planning on leaving anything soon (as long as Chuuya himself doesn't physically kick him out, at the very least).