#gimme a flamethrower

[callsign-pyro]

Pyro

I love fire

[merelymaple]

The fact that I am:

At work

Not at all snug

Not high

Not shooting big scary bugs with my big space gun

And not:

At home

All snugged up

High

Shooting big scary bugs with my big space gun

That's cringe and homophobic. I'm going to need the founder of Capitalism to please stop being and to release my soul to go home and play bug shooty space game with my friends.

[the-typing-dragon]

Would you rather have an extra flamethrower or an extra railgun installed? (Assuming you have at least one of each ofc)

Oh railgun 100%. Gimme that long range suppressive fire capability

[chocolateghost]

afraid, not scared

Chapter 6 - lungs all collapsing

Scanning the wall, Sansa takes in the available stock. Pickings are slim, and unfortunately, there's not a lot of top-notch weapon material here.

"That chainsaw would be nice," she mutters, eying what would undoubtedly be a deadly machine. "But why stop there? Gimme a flamethrower and a bazooka while we're at it."

Rationalizing that all those weapons were either too unwieldy or otherwise unattainable, Sansa settles on a hammer and a hatchet instead. She slips the former into her jacket and holds the latter tight in her fist.

"First things first. Find a car. Secure the keys. Grab Jon. Get the hell out of here. And kill anyone who tries to stop me."

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[solarianradiance]

“Whoop!” The Peppermint looking Ice King hopped down from the top of the waterfall, sticking the landing. “Huzzah! Touch Down!” He then approached the pair, waving at them like they were friends, which they were not. “Howdy kiddos what’s the haps?! This a picnic?! Please say yes, cuz I forgot my trail mix back at the castle and I have got the munchies like ya would not believe.”

“Uh... who’s this, your friend?” Finn asked the Princess.

“NO!” Bubblegum said with venom. “That’s Ice King and he ain’t no friend of mine!”

“Oh Bubble baby, c’mon, don’t be like this, especially in front of the kids!” The Ice King retorted. “You’re gonna traumatize em!”

“NO! DAAA-” The Princess was about to swear again, but after side-eyeing Finn she course corrected. “-NG-GUM... V-VARMINT! Speaking of which, it’s high time I took you out like one.”

The Princess readied her Flamer, setting it to full blast, prepared to take the Ice Kings life. Then she remembered the Crown upon his head, HER crown. She lowered her flamethrower and sighed in livid frustration. She couldn’t risk damaging the Gem. She suspected it would be able to survive anything due to being a Magical Artifact of great power unto itself but did not want to risk it.

“First, GIVE ME THE HEL-HECK BACK MY CROWN!!!”

“What? Oh this?! ZONK NO! It’s mine! I found it and it makes me look regal as heck but in a subtle way, like I’m 500 and boyish again!”

“W-WHA-... Glob, give me strength.” Bubblegum said as she rubbed her hand into her face. She was so tired of his shenanigans that she was starting to lose her flavor. What was she going to have to do to get some peace, sacrifice a lamb?

“But seriously, you got any food? I’m starving!” Asked the Ice King.

“I ain’t gonna feed you, ya mangey... moon mongler!” Said the Princess, who considered torching the Lunatic as Finn walked past her. “What are you-”

“Here!” Finn offered up pair of bagged snax. “Would you like Chips or Cookies?!”

“Oh! Uh... thanks kid!” He said as he took both and opened them up to start chowing down on the unhealthy remedy for the Munchies.

“Hah! Good choice bro!” Finn said with a cheerful admiration.

“Oh. My. Flipping. GLOB!” Shouted Bubblegum. “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!”

“Hole up for a sec!” Finn said hoping for patience.

A giggle could be heard from the trees above, Bubblegum and Finn, both barely heard it, but it was there. But neither paid it any mind, assuming it was a bird.

“So... Ice King...” Finn began.

“Yeah, what you want kid?” The old man said in a grouchy grandpa way as he munched on some chips. “If its the snax back ya ain’ gettin em! Cuz they’re mine, see!” He said as he opened his gob showing what he munched on.

“Hehe, gross!” Finn commented, retaining a warming, gentle smile, which the Ice King took notice of, but remained cautious. “Listen, can you be a good neighbor and let my friend over there have that crown hers back? It would mean a real ton to her and stuff.”

“Pffft-hah... dork.” Said a hushed, muffled, breathy unseen voice.

Finn looked around but spotted nobody. He felt a sense of confusion, because he swore he heard somebody but retained his focus on the now.

“Hmmm...nah!” He said as he stuffed his maw. “I mean wafs-shinnit fa me!?”

“Uh... I dunno, what do you want? A hug?!” Finn offered. “I can give mega good hugs! See! Watch!” Finn hugged himself, looking all silly and ridiculous. Yet he was also wholesome and endearing at the same time. Bubblegum felt a smile crack at the sight, as did the other person that invisibly floated behind the Ice King.

“See!” Said Finn. “Mega good hug! Gimme that crown and I’ll give ya one a-these, just like a Gwandson to his Gwampapa~”

“Hmmm...nom!” The Ice King of the Crimson Red said as he took another bite of cookie, contemplating the boys offer. He did like the idea of being hugged by a total stranger claiming to be his Grandson.

“Okay! Counteroffer! I’ll give you this cute crown upon my handsome brow, in exchange for a hug... from Princess Bubblegum!!! Deal?!” He said with a wicked cookie eating grin as if he had made an offer of the century.

“NO!” Shouted Bubblegum with spicy venom. “AIN’T NO WAY I’M-”

“Deal!” Said Finn with great enthusiasm. “I’ll even throw in a hug from me! Now gimme the crown and she’ll give you the hug!”

“Okie dokie!” Said the Red Ice King as he granted Finn his desire, plucking the cute tiara off of his own head and planting it onto Finn’s head. “I’ll collect my prize... riiiiight after I finished these, scrumptious cookies!” He stuffed a cookie into his mouth and began to chew the treat. “Mmm, succulent soft baked. Ho-ho, boy do I remembah~”

“Cool! Thanks!” Finn paced his way over to Bubblegum, whose mouth was open in disbelief. Finn’s trick actually worked somehow.

“Princess, meet crown! Crown, meet Princess! Here ya go!” Finn offered the item to the Lady, who simply stared at him as if this was some sort of dream or illusion. “...Uh, take it? It’s not gonna bite ya! I think. That would be kinda cool in a real wack-a-doodle manner, but I don’t think something like that’s gonna happen!”

Bubblegum snapped back to reality at his comment, giving a mild snort at the absurdity of it all. She plucked the crown out of the boys' hands and planted it back on her temple where it belonged.

“Thank you... Fffinn! I...” She said trying to find the words. “I... appreciate what you did!” She then put on a smile, a slightly fake one, the Princess had business to tend to and did not want the innocent child to see it. “Now, could you please run along to the castle and get more help for me please! It’s really super urgent!” She said, hoping he would listen.

“Yeah fosure! Right after you hug that guy and I’ll be on my way!” He replied giving thumbs up with his tongue out and a smile.

This was the exact thing she did not want to hear and her slightly fake smile became a slightly more fake one. “N-...no I am... not going to hug him.” She said as her facade cracked a little with a tinge of disgust in her words.

“Hehehe, sure you are, a deal is a deal!” Finn said without skipping a beat. “Princesses always keep their ends of the bargains!”

“I... DIDN’T agree to hug him.” She said with clear anger. “Nor would I do so even if he was the last person in all of Ooo! How dare you expect me to fulfill a promise that YOU made!?”

Finn sensing the Princesses disdain felt a bit dour. He was a Boy of his word, but he also did not mean to overstep his boundaries.

“U-uh...u-u-umm... I-I’m sorry, I just... wanted to help and stuff!” He said with a timid voice. “B-but what’s wrong the red guy anyways?! Sure, he’s kinda weird and gross, but what’s one hug for him helpin to find your cr-?”

“HE’S A FLIPPIN LUNATIC THAT’S BEEN HARASSING ME FOR YEARS, KID!!!” She yelled with a viciousness comparable to that of an enraged Tiger.

“F-for realsies?” Finn asked, shaken slightly by the unexpected tone of the Adult. It wasn’t something Finn was used to seeing. Even the unseen 4th person that floated around had never seen Bonnie like this.

“YEAH! FOR ‘REALSIES!” She shouted. “He has been going around, kidnapping Princesses like me, like some twisted demented creep who doesn’t take no for an answer! So no! I am NOT hugging him! Instead...” She lifted up her flamethrower and shot a brief stream up into the air. “I am going to burn him to death!”

Finn gasped at the idea, the boy glancing back at the old man in red, obliviously enjoying the snacks he gave him.

“So if you don’t want to be traumatized while I bake his cake, I suggest you obey my command and walk away while you can. Otherwise, I’ll help you find a therapist.” She said in a voice most bitter. This is not a situation she wanted, but she was done being patient. She set the flamer to full blast and took aim. “So move aside! I got a problem to solve.”

The person that floated above them was in a state of shock and disbelief, a hot rage and a cold pain filled her body, her arms, her legs, her chest. She did not want this to happen, but now it was out of her hands to prevent. She lifted her Bass Axe over her, read to bring it down upon her old friend to protect an even older one. As she did this, ice cold tears welled up in her eyes as she prepared to do the hardest thing of her long life yet.

“No.” said Finn as he stood directly between the Ice King and the Candy Princess.

“Excuse you?” Said the Princess in confused disbelief.

“I SAID NO!” Yelled Finn with a passionate anger in his voice. “I WON’T LET YOU JUST KILL HIM!”

“Uh, that’s not for you to decide, kid!” Spat the Princess. “His fate was sealed when he decided to try to kidnap me for the last time. Now obey my command or get scorched with him!”

“I DON’T CARE!!” Finn yelled. “You can’t just kill people just because they’re an inconvenience!” He glanced back at the Ice King. “I don’t know that guy, but as far as I personally know, he hasn’t done anything wrong! And as my brother taught me, I gotta give peeps the benefit of the doubt! So until I see him do something donkin evil, he’s a person darn it, HIS LIFE HAS VALUE!”

His last words caused both the Princess and the invisible Axe Murderer to slowly lower their weapons. They didn’t expect him so say something with such sincere... conviction.

“So, you’re... just gonna stand there and be cooked alive with him?” Asked Bubblegum, wondering just how serious he was.

Finn showed a sense of fear on his face. He did not want to die, especially at the hands of the Princess. But then he showed his resolve. “...If I have to, I will! Because that’s what heroes do!”

The Princess was taken aback by his answer. A child willing to put his life down for a stranger that had a bad reputation, even if the face of death. It touched her, his sweet innocence and naivety caused her to blink back to a time she had thought lost. Bonnie did not want to hurt Finn, she wanted to protect him, causing her to lower her weapon even more.

“We don’t have to kill him! Or fight each other! We can, talk it out maybe? I dunno!” Finn offered, hoping the Princess would see it his way. “I got the crown back with snax, didn’t I?”

“You...” The Princess hesitated, she was still afraid of the Ice King and being wrong. “I... don’t trust you... OR HIM!!”

“Well... I trust you!” Said Finn.

“WHAT?!” Said Bonnie. “But we JUST met! You don’t even KNOW me!!”

“Why not though? You’re Princess and you haven’t done anything wrong, ever! So I trust you to do the right thing no matter what! Here, I’ll even turn my back to you!” Finn said as he spun around, doing as he said. “See?! Perfect trust! Ain’t no biggie!”

“WHA-WHU-...kid you’re crazy!”

“Why would it be cray-cray? You gunna do somethin evil?” Finn said as looked back, smirking.

“Na-NO! I wussent gunna!” Said Bubblegum as she blushed, almost as if she was a kid caught doing something naughty and embarrassing.

“Then it ain’t no biggie, see?” Finn said as he looked towards the Ice King, wondering what the big deal is with the guy.

The Ice King swallowed the last cookie and stood up, brushing off his beard full of crumbs. “All right, that... MMM! That was fattening good! Glad I found those snax!” He then belched. “Okay Princess! Time to go home, cuz you and I got a Wedding ceremony to catch!”

“Oh sweet! Who be gettin hitched, homie!?” Finn said, like the naive child he was.

“Oh, glad you asked!” Said the red man as he took his crown in hand. “Just Princess Bubblegum and her King that is I~”

He planted the crown upon his head and with it, a shimmering of magic all around him, his colors shifting, or burning, the red away and turning him in a variety of blues. His hands then flashed with white frosty light that was zap happy in its sound and he floated above them in a manner most menacing.

“Well.” Finn began as he glanced back at the Princess. “The-.... the Princess don’t wanna marry you, so... you gotta respect her decision, right?”

“Oh hahahahaaha!” The King cackled like a Madman in the moonlight. “Kiddo! Buddy! Her consent is of no concern to me! Now DIE! ZAP!” He hurled a bolt of freezing lightning that landed between Finn and Bubblegum, striking with such force they both were sent flying. Bubblegum even lost her flamer as she was made dizzy.

Finn was knocked down, but quickly got up with a groan. “DUDE! WHAT THE FLIP!? I WAS LITERALLY JUST VOUCHING FOR YOU!!!”

“Oh please, kiddo, I don’t need nobody vouchin for me!” Declared the Ice King with unironic confidence as he floated. “Not with these good looks and mad charisma stats! This Tumblin sexy man don’t need no wingman!”

“You were literally about to get a hug! From the Princess! Maybe. From me! DEFENINTLY!!!” Finn slammed his fist into his palm.

“Why settle for a hug when I can get MARRIED!!” He yelled as he zapped an Ice Bolt at Finn.

“NO!” Yelled Bubblegum, reaching out instinctively in a desire to protect the child.

Finn simply dodged it thankfully. “You’re gonna have to do better than that you old frostybuns!”

“Don’t you yell G-rated insults at me ya lil jumpin bean! NOW DIE LIKE A BIG BOY WORD!!!” He shouted as he launched a flurry of bolts at Finn again.

“NO! YOU-...Can’t...” Bubblegum yelled only to find Finn was dodging all of them with ease like he was a seasoned acrobat, performing flips and jumps as if it were nothing. “Wow, he is a lithe one. Didn’t think bear mutants could do such tricks.” She said to herself, actually impressed.

“Hold. Still. You. Little. You. Stale. GRAHAM CRACKER!” The Ice King threw bolt after bolt at Finn but could not hit him. Finn threw a rock at him, hitting his chest. “GAH!”

“That all ya got ya glorified kitchen appliance?” Finn taunted as he juggled a stone in one hand with his sword in the other. He then tossed the rock up and used his sword like a baseball bat and struck the rock at the Ice King, who dodged it. Well, actually, he barely moved, he just turned in the air to watch it fly out of the area.

“Looks like you just struck-GOW!” Ice King was cut off by Finn’s mighty foot to his blue face in a kick, causing him to spin in the air.

“Hahaha!” Giggled the young Adventurer. “This is too easy!”

“FINN!” Shouted Bubblegum, getting Finn’s attention. “RUN! RUN AWAY! NOW!!”

“What?! Why!? I’m totes kickin his tail all over the place!” Finn asked in disbelief as he did a little jig to taunt the guy. “Didn’t you see the way I decked him just now?!”

“He’s holding back Finn! He can easily kill you if he gets angry enough!” She explained. “So, run! Get help! NOW!!!”

“Nah, I think I c-WHOA!” Finn barely dodged a beam of ice from his opponent.

“You’re WAY outta ya league, kiddo!” Growled the Ice King. As he beamed a ray of ice at the child.

“You’re the one whose missing all your shots bozo!” Finn taunted.

“Who said I was tryin to hit ya?!” The King countered.

“Huh?” Finn said as he looked around. Everything was covered in sheets of sleek ice. But he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until it was too late. “GAH!” He screamed as he slipped, hitting the ice, sliding a ways along. “Uh-oh” He said as he realized what it meant.

“Hehehe! Now you get it!” The King cackled in triumph. “Now for my prize!~” he said as he hovered over to Princess Bubblegum.

“Oh HECK no!” Bubblegum and Finn said in unison.

The Princess picked up a rock ready to rumble.

“Babygirl don’t be playin hard to get now! You know domestic violence is a poor alternative to talking it ou-OWHOW!” The Ice King took a rock to the nose, which he rubbed to soothe.

“I DON’T want to marry you, Ice King.” Bubblegum said. “I don’t want to marry you, I don’t want to date you, and I sure as HECK don’t wanna listen to your stupid songs about doing any of that stuff either! So please, for the last time, FFFLIP OFF!”

“Now now! No need for coarse language in front of the child!” The King Tutted. “They pick up some potty mouth wor-OW! All right, that’s it! When we get home you are gettin a timeout!”

“NO!” She shouted as he grabbed the Princess by the wrists and was about fly off with her, despite her protests of fists to his face, some which landed.

“UNGRAB HER YOU FLIPPIN FREAK!!” Finn screamed as he slid towards the pair on his belly like a penguin, rolling forward onto his feet and then launching himself head first into the Ice King with great momentum that it knocked both the King and the Princess into the shallow water. Finn then stood up ready for another go at him.

“EERRRRRAAAAGH!” The King growled like a beast. “WHY WON’T YOU STAY DOWN!!” He then prepared to fire another Ice Beam at Finn.

“Uh-Oh!” Thinking fast he ran towards the tree for cover as the Ice King fired his beam of Ice at him, starting from the Kings own feet, tracking towards Finn. It was much larger and slower than the last beam was and in it’s wake, left a thick rail of ice.

Finn however saw an opportunity, he ran up the tree as the beam spell finished, flipping at the crescendo and in the wake of the beam left a railing that was the dream of a grinder that Finn planted on, sliding directly towards the Ice King with speed and force.

“Oh fffudg-” Said the Ice King as he felt the full force of Finn’s kick to his forehead, knocking a daze into him as he landed face first into the shallow water. “Rrrrmmuugh” He groaned as he laid there.

“Wow...” Said an impressed Bubblegum as she had witnessed everything, which was the only thing she could say as she approached Finn. “You... y-you did it! You actually beat him! You defeated the Ice King!”

Finn panted, the fight taking a lot out of him. “Yeah! Pretty cool, right!? Hehehe! Pun.” He said with a thumbs up.

“Nobody has been able to do that since... Billy...” She said with almost disbelief. If she had not been here to witness this event, she would not have believed it.

“Billy?!” Said with a sense of distance. “I... did something here did too?”

“Yeah! He used to wrangle the Ice King whenever he got lose before disappearing. Always had a heck of a time doing it too!” Explained the Princess. “But nevermind that! Take your Sword and finish him off!”

“What?!” Said Finn like he had a little crazy in his ear. “You mean... like...”

“KILL HIM! Yes! Take your blade and cut his head off!” Commanded the Princess.

“ARE YOU CRAZY!?” Finn spat back, his voice cracking. “He’s defeated! Can’t we just leave? Or arrest him!?”

“No!” She said with a stern flatness. “Everytime he’s arrested, he escapes! Everytime he gets knocked down, he get’s up again! This whole shindig of him kidnapping Princesses and causing havoc? It will start over again and more suffering will continue! He needs to be put down PERMANENTLY!”

“But... but!” Finn said timidly.

“Finn... please... I don’t want to have nightmares of him anymore.” Said Bubblegum, putting on a sad face, bringing out her tears, hoping the boy would obey her so that she would not have to sully her own Royal hands with his blood while also having the detachment of the deed of taking the Ice Kings life. That way nobody could say SHE killed him. She just wanted the act done.

“U-um... well... I did give him the benefit of the doubt. I’ll... put him down.” Finn said, taking his sword in hand, his face sullen with oncoming sadness, approaching the Ice King who was still face down in the water, wearing his admittedly cool crown.

“Sorry bro, but you’re evil, I gotta do what Heroes do and... slay you.” Finn said as he and the invisible entity raised their weapons, prepared to take the life of someone who was unaware.

Finn with both hands on his sword stood there, frozen. He shook a little at the thought of taking the life of a defeated opponent, even if it was someone like the Ice King who just attacked him.

“Mmmmrm....mmmrmrm!” Finn hummed. “mmmmmRRM I CAN’T DO IT!”

This shocked both Bubblegum and the Invisible Girl, who lowered her axe as Finn turned to Bonniebel, lowing his sword to his side.

“I’m sorry Princess! But this is wrong! And I can-Huh?!” Finn tried to explain, but felt the chilling cold touch of something around his right wrist. Finn’s bolted around and saw it was the Ice King.

“GOTCHYA PUNK!” He shouted as a flash of freezing light enveloped both of their hands. Then he let go of him.

Upon his entire forearm was a block of Ice that covered Finn’s limb. “AAA!” He shouted as the cold stung him with mild pain, stumbling back away from the Ice King a little.

“HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!” Cackled the Coldhearted Clown. “That’s what chya get fer letting ya guard do-AAA!” Finn clocked the King with his frozen appendage. “MY SCHNOZ!!! YA BROKE MY SCHNOZ!!!” Yelled the Frozen Monarch as he grasped his face.

Finn stumbled backwards a distance away from the grazed King and fell onto his boy buns into the running stream. He too was grazed as he was coming to terms with his frozen limb.

“FINN!” Yelled Bubblegum who rushed to the boys aid. “Your arm!!!”

“It’s... fine!” Said Finn with a grimmace.

“NO! It is NOT fine! It is 100% not fine! It is ROUGH and COARSE! Because I should not have made you do that! Oh Glob!” She explained. She felt such guilt over manipulating him to do her bidding. “Look, this is just my problem! Okay!? Just get up and run! I won’t let you die for me, so-”

Finn place his hand on hers and looked her dead in the eye. “It’s okay, really! I promise that I will protect you no matter what, Princess! Even if it costs me my arm or my life, I will ALWAYS protect you! I swear it!” He said with a most natural sense of sincerity.

The Princess was speechless, he such conviction to his words and they were for her. Even though he was a bit unsettled and injured, he was still willing to protect her, even at the cost of his life. He was probably ignorant, a child playing hero, but she didn’t sense any sort of falsehood, he was dead serious. But it did leave a bit of blush on her face as it his words left her a little bit inspired.

“Finn...I...” She began in a soft voice as she held him.

“Need to SHUT THE HELL UP!” Shouted the Ice King, grabbing their attention with his invocation of an ancient Norse Goddess... with 2 L’s. He snapped his nose back into place and growled at the pair. “I... am... DONE! Time to finish this little game with a bit of a FROST NOVA!!!”

The King’s hands came alight with frosty magic and he spun his hands over one another like some sort of dance as he slowly floated upwards.

“OH NO YA DON’T!” Finn said in defiance, standing up rushing towards him to attack. But he was stopped as the Princess yanked on his free hand to stop his foolish bravery.

“NO! FINN!”

“WHAT!? WHY?! I GOTTA STO-”

“SHUT UP AND LISTEN!” She shouted. “His Spell that he’s about to use is gonna freeze this river and we’ll be stuck! OR WORSE! We gotta book it to higher ground, NOW!”

“A-...OKAY!” Finn agreed as the two rushed hand in hand to the island.

“WHERE DO YA THINK YOU’RE GOIN?!” The Ice King hollered. “Why don’t stay for some CHILL!?!?” He slammed his hands into the stream and came forth a great sheet of rock solid ice, stopping the stream dead. The Ice traveled with speed towards the Princess and her friend.

Finn glanced back and his sense of danger told him that now was time for a judgement call. They would not make it back on the shore in time. So Finn instead stopped the Princess in their tracks and lifted her above himself with surprising strength.

“FINN! WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING?!” The Princess shouted in protest as she was lifted.

“Fufilling my promise!” He said as he turned around, stepped back and took a firm stance.

The Ice then hit him and he was frozen from the waist down. “GEYAAAAA!” He screamed with a shock to his system. “C-C-COLD! SO COLD! IT’S LIKE WHEN JAKE POURS ICE CUBES DOWN MY PANTS BUT A MILLION TIMES WORSE!!! IT’S ALGEBRAIC BAD!!!”

Thankfully the Princess was safe, Finn gently lowering her to the ice covered shallow river. “Are you okay!?” She asked.

“M-m-m-my boy bumps are goin numb, but, yeah? I think?” He shuttered in the cold.

“AAA-HAHAHAHAHAAAA!” The Ice King cackled in triumph as he floated closer with menace. “What’s the matter, kid? Where’s that spunky bravado you just had a moment ago? Did it freeze and die like you’re about to?” He growled in a low, threatening tone.

“Dude! Take a hint!” Finn declared, trying to hide his sense of fear. “You ain-GUH!”

The Ice King slugged Finn with a fist to the boys face. Blood had spilled forth from his nose. Not much, but just little, enough to show that the blow wasn’t just for show.

Ice King then planted his hand upon the childs face, to muzzle him. Finn looked into the visage of the Lunatic and saw him bear a demonic smile filled with dark glee, his teeth sharp, on full display.

Bubblegum never saw this side of him before, he usually was just a cornball idiot that was more like a harassing kidnapping clown than an actual threat half the time. He was actually... scary, she was afraid of him now.

“Ya really should stayed down ya lil bastard.” Ice King said with a snow demons grin. He lifted his free hand into the air above his head, looking like claw about to come down, alight with crackling ice magic. “Now you’re about to be a frozen carcass. Any last words?”

Ice King lifted his hand off the boys mouth. Finn looked into the eyes of his soon-to-be killer and saw a genuine curiosity in them.

“I-...” Finn began. “I guess I always knew I’d go out saving somebody.”

“HAH!” The King laughed. “Nobody chooses how they go, kid.”

As he was about to land the killing blow, Ice King felt the hand of someone familiar grasp his wrist. “Stop.” She whispered, a desperation in her voice. “Please...”

“Huh?!” Ice King gruffed, he glanced back. But saw nobody was there, confounding the Royarch.

“WAIT!” Bubblegum shouted, getting the Ice King’s attention.

“Oh what now?!” Ice King moaned. “Can’t chya see I’m in the middle of turnin this child into a pint sized cadaver? Women am I right?” He asked Finn.

“If you let him go... I’ll...” Said the Princess. “I’ll...”

“Yeah? YEAH?! You’ll what?!” Ice King demanded.

“I’ll... I will marry you... Ice King.” The Princess said with a sense of defeat.

“Wha-, REALLY?!” King shouted.

“...Yes.” She said as she hung her head. “I will marry you, if you let that boy go.”

“PRINCESS N-N-N-NO!!!” Finn protested.

“... Well hawt dang! Wooo!” Cheered Ice King. “After so many years, I finally got one to say yes! Who knew child murder was what did it?! Pretty sure that’s a red flag and that I’m about to get stabbed, but I’ll take it!”

“NO! I f-f-forbid this a-a-act of union!” Shivered Finn. “Esp-p-p-pescially when it’s on mmmm-m-m-m-my bhalf!!”

“Finn shut up!” Shouted Bubblegum.

“Yeah! Put a sock in it!” Agreed Ice King. “You ain’t gonna ruin this for us, no way, no how!”

“He’s right, Finn... we’re... engaged.” Bubblegum said in a dour tone. “That means this now has nothing to... do with you.”

“But Princess Bubblegum, you don’t have to do this!” Finn said with sorrow. “I promised I woul-”

Bubblegum planted her hand on his mouth to silence him. “You’re just a kid, Finn. You don’t understand what you meant when you said that. Even if we both believed you.” The two stared at each other as she removed her hand from his mouth. Finn felt a tinge of cold pain within him, like he failed her. She planted a kiss on his cheek, causing the boy to blush. “Thanks anyways though...” She said with a half a smile. But it only lasted a moment before melting into a sad frown. “Now go home, and don’t follow us. That’s a direct command from your Princess.”

“Hey can I get a little sugar here myself?” The Ice King asked, offering his own puckered lips.

“Uh... why not save if for the ceremony? It’s... bad luck to kiss the bride before then, right?” Said Bubblegum, hoping the idiot would buy it.

“Mmmm, yeah you’re right!” Ice King agreed. He then grabbed her like a bride and began to float. “We got all of eternity to smooch, baby! Hahahaha!!!”

“W-W-WAIT! Hold up! Aren’t chya gonna free him!?” Bubblegum asked anxiously.

“What? Hecks NO!” The King spat. “Why the skrog would I do that?! Sucka tried to 69 me! I ain’ gonna let that slide!” A snort followed by giggling could be heard from somewhere, probably the invisible person.

“I’LL 69 Y-Y-YOU R-R-R-RIGHT NOW YA J-J-JERK!” Finn threatened, the invisible person doing whatever she could to remain invisible and not burst out laughing like a psychopathic clown hearing the best joke possible, sounding like a deflating balloon.

“But you said you’d let him go if I went with you?!” Decried the Princess.

“Nah-uh my dear~!” Said the King in a sly manner. “You asked me to just let him go, nothing about when or how! Monkey’s paw rules, honey! You really should think about how you word or phrase things! Save you a headache in legislation!”

“Then the deals off ya butt!” Bonnie protested.

“TOO BAD! Cuz I hold all the cards! Most of which I dealt to myself! BY CHEATING! WITH A LOADED DECK! AAAHAHAHAHA!!!” The King laughed. “Here kid! I’ll leave ya with a gentle snow ta ease ya into that good night!”

The Ice King flew over the Boy. “FINN!” Yelled Bonnie as she rached out for him. “PRINCESS!!!” Finn shouted as he reached back for her with his free hand with all of his might. The two nearly touched hands, but missed.

The King flew high up into the air and spun around and around and around like a record, clouds gathering to him in a spiral, laughing like a maniac the whole time.

Then suddenly, he flew off, towards the Mountains of Ice, leaving only cloud and a mostly out of season dense snowfall from the clouds.

“PRINCEEEESSS!!!” The Boy shouted again, thrashing against his helpless frozen state, long after she and her kidnapper fled from sight.

Snow was falling around him, his breathe could be seen in the chilled air as he was tuckered out. He felt the sting of ice upon his flesh, numbing him as he began to shiver. But now he felt a new pain well up within him.

“I couldn’t help her.” Said Finn quietly as tears began to run down his cheeks as he began to cry. Then he felt something upon his cheeks, a cool hand gently wipe away a single boyish tear, snapping him from his mourning over losing the Princess.

“W-what the?” His eyes darted around trying to find who did that. Then he spotted an outline of snow floating in front and above him. “Who the kronk are you!?”

The silhouette jolted and then floated around Finn, the boy tracking the entity with his head. “HEY! I SEE YOU!!!” Finn shouted.

“Wh-HUH?! HOW TH-” Said the voice of a girl, who stopped mid sentence as she noticed snow was on her, revealing where she was.

“Did you just... touch my cheek?!?” Finn demanded, his face blushing in confusion. “Cuz that’s... um...” He wasn’t sure what to say really.

“Ugh, whateves.” Said the Invisible Girl as she struck Finn’s iced hand and feet with her axe, cracking them. “Laters.” Said the entity as it floated off towards the Ice Mountains.

“WAIT! WHO-O-O ARE YOU?!” Finn shouted.

“Finn?!” Said a masculine familiar voice.

“You can’t be Finn! I’m Fi- wait, what the skroobles?” He said in confoundment.

“FINN!” Stretched Jake’s head into Finn’s sight.

Adventure Time Presents: The Good, The Fair & The Beautiful. - Chapter 8 - Zalloj - Adventure Time (Cartoon 2010) [Archive of Our Own]

[koffing-time]

👆

[Flamethrower]

MY SIBLING IN ZYGARDE DO YOU WANNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND???

ouch... I hope tix doesn't notice this burn they're gonna be worrying so much...

IMMA FUCKING SEND A DRAIN PUNCH YOUR WAY! gimme back my energy! - P

[queenofbaws]

Gimme some some chrashley please and thanks. Whatever chrashley you got I will gladly take it off your hands.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

Ashley startled backwards as she felt Chris’s hand on her wrist, the shock of it all sending her feet stumbling and catching against themselves; it resulted in a bizarre dance between the two of them, her nearly tripping over her own boots, him struggling to keep her upright despite how injured he was, but through some miracle, neither of them fell.

“Why did you do that?” she gasped, her indignation burning hot for an instant...and then her embarrassment twice that as she realized how close they were, how the last time they stood like that, there had been a strange old man with a flamethrower hovering over them as they kissed (...it had been a weird night).

Without looking away from her, Chris simply pointed, gesturing down to the wooden trap door as it clapped against the rocky floor of the mine, his eyebrows drawn high. “Years - we have wasted years of our lives watching Josh’s shitty slasher flicks, and you were about to fucking open that door?!”

She opened her mouth to say something to that - ‘But I can hear Jess,’ maybe, or ‘But someone needs help, I think,’ or even, ‘I can’t not just open the suspicious door, what if there are clues down there?!’ - and promptly shut her mouth, grabbed his hand, and led him back towards the main path as she realized just how stupid all of those excuses were.

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

[iciatheguardess]

no no gimme the flamethrower

I do have some anons to burn, just not any ones here

*tosses flamethrower* Go nuts.

[fudanshidaily]

W O W

[introvertedsurvivalist]

Can you do some moments of nooshy and Johnny being chaotic best friends? Yes, I am talking about the stupid things nooshy roped Johnny into doing lol thx!

oho, i've been waiting for some to ask for these.

johnny & nooshy best (chaotic) moments

johnny: okay, um, nooshy—we have a bit of a problem.

nooshy: what? the fire?

johnny: no, the—wait, there's a fire?!

nooshy: nevermind that, this sounds more interesting. spill it?

buster: *runs past them with a fire extinguisher* NOOSHY, YOU CAN'T PUT TIN FOIL IN THE MICROWAVE, NO MATTER WHAT TWITTER SAYS—

...

johnny: it's just impossible to come up with a crazier plan than this.

nooshy: plan E, we attack meena with chips.

johnny: of course, i stand corrected.

nooshy: just keeping things in perspective, shut it.

...

nooshy: oh, son of a b—

johnny: nO, langUAGE—

nooshy: —sssscuit. i was gunna say biscuit, pfft, come off it.

...

nooshy: i had such a great time! it was the most pleasant experience i've had in a long while!

johnny: *out of breath and on the verge of a panic attack* i-i almost got run over by a bloody train—

nooshy: ooh ooh ooh, that was my favorite part!

...

*the gang are out in a paintball match*

nooshy: *gets hit* joHNNY, avenge my death.

johnny: *drops to his knees beside her* no, nooshy... please, you can't go...

nooshy: you'll go on without me, right?

johnny: of course i will... i promise.

nooshy: thank you... *fakes dying*

johnny: nOoO—

ash: talk about dramatic.

...

nooshy: *is sad*

johnny: i know as your self-appointed brother figure, i should have something comforting to say, but i'm drawing a bit of a blank here.

nooshy: shut up and just gimme a hug. just your presence is enough.

...

nooshy: ohh, so if i knock all those targets down with this toy gun, that stuffed koala is ours?

johnny: yea, give it a go!

nooshy: okay, whoo, okay—*proceeds to throw the entire toy gun*

johnny: *to the booth owner* i am terribly sorry—

...

johnny: london girl.

nooshy: wales boy.

johnny: funny we're actually from quite near each other—

nooshy: —and yet we're somehow incredibly different.

johnny: but we have that common ground where we always make the worse decision.

nooshy: exactly.

...

johnny: okay, truth or dare?

nooshy: truth!

johnny: worst decision you've made while drunk?

nooshy: i mean, not to brag, but i don't have to be drunk to be able to make bad decisions, see—

...

buster: okay, who took the flamethrower from ash—

johnny: well, nooshy and i—

nooshy: *elbows johnny sharply in the arm*

johnny: ... wouldn't know.

ash: yOU—

johnny: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE A FLAMETHROWER IN THE FIRST PLACE—

nooshy: *trying to shut johnny up*

...

nooshy: hey, johnny. if i were kidnapped by bandits, would you come save me?

johnny: of course i would.

nooshy: what if i wouldn't let you save me because it's dangerous?

johnny: then i'd tell you to shut up, stuff you into a box, and take you.

nooshy: so like, reverse-kidnapping?

johnny: something like that.

nooshy: that sounds nice.

...

nooshy: be careful!

johnny: always am.

nooshy: respectfully disagree, you injury-prone weirdo.

...

johnny: buster told you to be nice to these guys, they're important!

nooshy: i was nice!

johnny: wh—you threatened to kill them!

nooshy: but i didn't actually stab them!

...

johnny: *watching a movie at a theatre while holding a bag with nooshy hiding inside it*

johnny: remind me why we're doing this again?

nooshy: shh, so that i can watch the movie without paying.

johnny: but we can buy our own tickets, we're not broke—

nooshy: sHH, where's the fun in that?

johnny: we could get kicked out for this, or worst, arrested—

nooshy: shHHh, life's about breaking crimes, it's time you learned from the master on how to do it too.

johnny: *already knows*

...

nooshy: wait, why are you crying? are you alright?

johnny: well, yea, it was just these onions—

nooshy: *to the onions* what the fuck did you say to my best friend?

...

(always down for more of these.)

[ticklish-n-stuff]

Chaos at the Wonder stage p.1

Read part 2 here!

did i accidentally erase this fic? and i feel like ripping my hair out? yes~

Anyways, ive been writing a lot of AkiToya recently and decided to do another fic for my fave group of clowns aldjalsh

This fic started getting too long so I decided to split it into two parts

___________________________________________

Tsukasa x Emu x Nene x Rui (ok but like imagine poly wxs 👀)

Ler: Tsukasa

Lee: Emu

Warnings: Tickles!

___________________________________________

It was another day of hard work for WonderlandsxShowtime. The group was currently gathered at the wonder stage, trying to come up with new ideas for their next show, but some of their members were getting a bit too excited.

"Hey, Rui! Let's do something fun!!" Emu started feeding all kinds of wacky ideas to Rui that they could use on the show, stuff like lazarbeams and flamethrowers. This naturally sparked Rui's curiosity, eager to try out all these thing on their dear troupe leader (and guinea pig apparently), Tsukasa.

Even though Tsukasa had become more open minded on testing out Rui's weird inventions, he still wasn't keen on the idea of potentially being killed. And although Nene was finding the situation rather amusing, she didn't want her childhood friend to take it too far.

Tsukasa cleared his throat.

"Nene, a moment please" They both stepped away from the hyper duo.

Once they were alone, Tsukasa inhaled deeply.

"A flamethrower?! Seriously?!! Why should a star such as myself have to go through all that?!!".

"Calm down...as much as I'd like to see that, we can't risk those two getting out of control".

They both turned to glance at the cracked out duo.

"Oooo! What if we strap Tsukasa to a rocket ship?!!" Emu bounced around all energetically.

"And we can fill it up with a bunch of fireworks~! Good thinking, Emu!".

The two of them kept discussing their ideas, while Tsukasa and Nene turned back to each other.

"We have to put a stop to them!! I'm too young to get blown up!!!".

"Alright, let me think of something..." Nene got lost in thought trying to think on how to calm the other two down. She suddenly remembered a childhood memory on how she would calm down Rui whenever he got too chaotic, a soft smile tugging on her lips.

"...Well?? Did you come up with something???".

Nene nodded at him and started whispering her plan.

"And your positive that's going to work?".

"It's worth a try".

"Well...it beats getting sent to space".

And with that, their plan had taken action. They both approached the chaotic duo who were still wrapped up in their shennanigans.

"Hey, Emu! Do you wanna play a game?" Tsukasa asked her with a slight playfulness to his tone.

"Omg really?!! Yes I wanna play!!! What kind of game?!".

Tsukasa smirked at her evily and menacingly wiggled his fingers towards her.

"The tickle monster's gonna getcha~!".

"EEK! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!" And with a war cry, Emu charged out into the park.

"Hey!! Get back here!!!" Tsukasa quickly went chasing after her.

Now it was only Nene and Rui left behind. Nene had quite the innocent look on her face, but Rui could already tell what she was up to. She softly smiled at him and teasingly wiggled her fingers towards him.

"Tickle tickle~".

"EEK!" And with that, Rui took that as his cue to run away...

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~The Emu chase~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

In a different section of the park, Tsukasa was still chasing after Emu, but she's too fast for their poor leader. How can she have so much damn stamina?!

At this point, Tsukasa felt like he had ran a marathon, which he probably might have thanks to Emu. It was clear to him that it was going to be a lot more difficult to catch her, especially now since she had climbed on top of a high building. In order to stand a chance against her, Tsukasa decided to play a little dirty.

"Hey, Emu! I have some taiyaki for you~!".

"Really?! Gimme!!!" She quickly hopped down back to the ground.

"Aha! Gotcha~!" Tsukasa cheered triumphantly as he trapped her in a bear hug.

"EEK! NOO! YOU LIED!" Emu tried kicking out her legs but it was useless.

"I never said I was a kind tickle monster~" And with that, Tsukasa started to softly pinch at her sides, sending her into a giggle fit.

"EEP! EHEHEHE!" Emu giggled freely and happily, she always enjoyed these kinds of games.

"Already giggling? I'm barely even touching you~" Tsukasa cooed into her ear causing her to squeak. She tried scrunching up her shoulders but it wasn't enough to stop the tickle monster.

"EHEHEHE! TSUKAHAHASAAA!".

"Who is this Tsukasa you speak of? I'm the tickle monster~! Although he does sound like a handsome lad~" Tsukasa switched tactics and started softly squeezing her hips.

"EEK! HEHEHEHE!" Emu squirmed around in Tsukasa's grip.

"Are you some kind of worm? You're getting all squirmy~".

"NOHOHO! EHEHEHE!" Emu squeaked at the tease.

Emu's legs couldn't keep up with the tickle attack, causing her to go limp. To make it easier, Tsukasa sat down and positioned her on his lap, giving her a moment to breath.

"You doing alright there darling~?" He asked as he pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

Emu, still in a giggle fit, gave him a soft nod.

"Great, then let's carry on with the show~" He playfully wiggled his fingers right above her tummy.

"Nohoho!" Emu covered up her blushing face with her hands.

"Hey! Don't hide away from me~!" Tsukasa playfully wiggled a single finger under her arm, causing her to clamp them down.

"EEEE! IHIHIT TICKLES!!".

"Oh it tickles?? Well that's great! It would suck if it didn't~".

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" The teasing made the tickles feel even worse.

Tsukasa slipped his finger out from under her arm.

"Hey, Emu! Check this out~!" Tsukasa pulled of the funniest face he could think of, sending Emu into hysterics.

"OH MY GAHAHAWD! YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!!".

"*dramatic gasp* Ridiculous?! I'll show you ridiculous~!" He then proceeded to spider his fingers all over her tummy.

"WAHAHAHAHAHA!" She burst out laughing at the sudden tickles.

"Tickle tickle, Emu~" Tsukasa kept playfully tickling her tummy, ocassionally poking her navel through her outfit.

Emu's laughter was very bright and bubbly, her eyes were starting to get a bit watery, and her cheeks were all flushed pink from the teasing.

"AHAHAHAHA! IT TICKLES SOHO MUHUCH!!".

Seeing how she had stopped squirming, Tsukasa decided to show some mercy.

"Alright, I think you've had enough for now~" He slowly stopped his tickle attack, allowing her to catch her breath.

"How did you like it~?" Tsukasa smiled down at her.

"Ehehe...Ihit was fuhun! We shohould do it agahain sometime..! But I'm starting to get a bit sleppy..." She tiredly rubbed at her eyes and let out a yawn.

"Oh alright sleepyhead~ Let's head back to the rest of the group. Here, hop on" Tsukasa positioned himself to offer her a piggyback ride back to the wonder stage, Emu happily hopped on.

"Weeee! Giddy up!!".

"Hey!! I'm not some horse!!!".

They both playfully bickered on their way back. The mission had been a sucess on Tsukasa's side, now all that was left was for Nene to had succeded on her part as well...

___________________________________________

I will be posting the Nene x Rui part soon, hope yall liked it :)

[unfunnyman]

I HATE RAVENHOLM GIMME A FLAMETHROWER!!

[crowcryptid]

2nd play through of infinite is done, skulls grabbed this time.

My opinion is still: I enjoy

Incoherent typing and Spoilers under the read more.

No organization you’re getting pure stream of mind ramblings here

But the feeling of “that’s it? That was everything?” Is still there. And yes I know it’s because a huge chunk of the game was cut. I just hope the dlc stuff is substantial chunks of story. I’d rather wait longer and get a decent chunk vs being drip fed new stuff

Definitely had more fun playing it this time around cause it wasn’t on legendary and I wasn’t fighting for my goddamn life at every moment

Was chillin on easy mode and ripping through it all.

Anyway uh yeah I don’t really have much bad to say about it. I did enjoy :]

Things I wish we had gotten:

to see literally any other character besides the main cast. Alive. I get they wanted to keep it simple and not confuse new people but I’d have liked to see any friendly faces besides the marines and gotten to fight alongside them. But I get it, you’re mostly alone and everyone is gone I know. I know.

I’m just sayin. It could have been something as simple as a squad of ODSTs spawning at FOBs. Just someone other than the marines lol. Not that I don’t like them! I always protect my marines and give them power weapons. I just want more buddies! They don’t even have to be named buddies. I will name them myself

Terminals! Not a single terminal here. Sad times.

More weapons! I want a carbine! I want a saw! Gimme the beam rifle! Also fuck it bring back the flamethrower who give a shid why not. I don’t care if it sucks it would be fun

Also I think there should have been vehicle variants like the weapon variants. And just buff the vehicles in general. They all felt weak except for the scorpion and a fully decked out razorback. Also bring back the hornet I miss you king. 2 rocket marines on the side. The wasp could never. Hornet forever.

More stuff I didn’t like:

1) doesn’t feel like you do.. enough. And by that I mean yes you save the day etc but it’s just missing something. Like the story didn’t move enough. Too much setting up. But knowing we are getting dlc story puts me at ease I suppose. I’m waiting so patiently. :)

2) ok so. I do like the weapon. But I felt like the reveal that she was “cortana” was like. Not a reveal? I mean I didn’t think she was exactly the same. I thought she was just a new ai made from the halsey brains blue team got in SoR. I thought it was more of a “they’re like sisters” kind of deal but whatever. Not really a complaint I just thought it was a little weird. I was just like. Uh well. Ok

3) spartan killers were a bit disappointing. Specifically jega. You weren’t supposed to die king. I was going to fix you <3 I really was hoping he would actually be hunting you during the campaign and maybe you do a small fight vs him before he runs off.

4) needs more biomes! Weather! More varied areas! I want snow! Desert! Beaches!

Stuff I did like: mr pilot i would die for you and I’m glad Chief agrees

Also chiefs energy in this game.. oh it’s good. That’s my guy right there. He’s not ok. But he keeps going. I do think they went a little too much on the one liners. Like yes I get that’s kind of his deal But it’s different in 2/3 cause he barely talks in those so it’s allowed lol. But other than that I think it’s a happy middle ground between the more talkative 4 Chief and nearly silent bungie era. And can we please talk about how he completely avoids personal questions the entire time. Sweety. What IS wrong with you. Are you okay? No. Ur not. Also I really like how he is with the pilot. It was nice. They hug :] I smiled like an idiot both times I saw it. Also there’s a few moments where he speaks so softly and i screaming and yelling and hollering- if you played it u know what I’m talking about it’s when he and the weapon are going through the data near the end of the game

Anyway I can keep going but I am incomprehensible and yelling and I love my giant green metal husband but I think he needs to rest for real. The fight is being finished since 2007

Maybe I will change my blog title. It’s been that since like. 2016? 2017? But if I do change it. Later. Ce

[notnormalmydude]

Cyndaquil is the good son ---------------------------------------------- Bro: Give me the firework Lana: Why? Bro: I wanna hold it, here gimme Lana: No, its not heavy. I can hold it Bro: ...Lana please move away from my Salazzle Lana: Why? I'm not doing anything. I'm just standing by her Bro: Wife, give me the firework Lana...Zatanna use Flamethrower! <:u

[ghost-town-story]

FebruarOC Day 15: Ophelia (Lia)

(Combining with the ockissweek prompt “bold”)

I can’t help my grin as I knock on the open doorframe. “Hey Alex.”

Alex whirls around, face brightening with a smile. “Lia!” He bounds across the room to sweep me into a hug. “Hey! I thought you weren’t getting back till tomorrow!”

“Change of plans,” I laugh, squeaking a little as his enthusiasm nearly makes me lose my balance. “AKA fuck snow.”

Alex groans in sympathy as he lets go. “Wanna go halvsies with me to get a flamethrower?”

“Okay, now that seems a little dramatic. And illegal.”

“Only illegal if we get caught.” Alex winks at me. “And you forget, I’m from Minnesota. Flamethrower is an adequate amount of drama.”

“So, something you’ve tested out before?” I tease, making myself comfortable on his bed as Alex continues unpacking.

Alex winks at me before turning to his dresser.

“Alex Jay, you haven’t.”

“Don’t do that, you make me feel like I’m in trouble,” Alex complained. “I will neither confirm nor deny these accusations.”

“How have you not gotten arrested yet?”

“Because that would mean facing the collective wrath of our parents, and I like to think at least Jason and I have some self-preservation instincts that we can spread onto Jazz,” Alex answers with little hesitation.

I can’t help a little laugh at his answer. “So how was your break when not avoiding the law?”

Alex lets out a groan. “Remember that night I called you?”

“You mean when there was hella drama going down that you never clarified?”

Alex clicks his tongue and pauses in unpacking to collapse on his bed, his head falling in my lap. “Long story short,” he says, pushing his glasses up on his forehead even as he looks up at me, “I’m not sure which is worse: Watching two idiots pine after each other, or third-wheeling the two idiots when they finally get their shit together.”

“Oh you poor thing.” I brush his hair back from his forehead.

“Yes, pity me,” Alex whines, though the pathetic image ruined by the satisfied little grin he has. I laugh and continue combing through his hair with my fingers.

After a few moments, Alex sighs and sits up, his glasses falling back onto his nose. “Well, that drama was really most of my break. How about yours?”

I sigh as Alex stands again. “Well, compared to you skirting the law and having a front-row seat to relationship drama—” Alex snorts. “—my break was pretty tame. Normal Christmas, normal New Year’s, and the closest we got to flamethrowers were some of those jar candles my mom loves.”

“Hey, I will gladly trade with you if you want,” Alex offers.

“No thanks,” I laugh. “I kinda like having a chill break, even if it was boring at times.”

“To each their own,” Alex sighs as he finishes putting away his clothes. He eyes up the open doorway, then nudges the door shut. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Oh?”

Alex grins and pulls a bag out of his suitcase. “Managed to puppy-dog-eye my aunt into sending me off with baked goods,” he says, a devious glint in his eyes. “With the stipulation that I share, of course. I’ll let you get first dibs if you don’t let anybody else know. Otherwise we’ll never hear the end of my so-called favoritism.”

“Alex Lunacen, you are too good for this world.” I hold out my hands. “Gimme.”

Alex laughs and flops down on the bed next to me, setting the treats in front of us. “Knock yourself out,” he says.

I hesitate, then before I lose my nerve, I reach over and kiss him on the cheek. “Thanks Alex,” I say, then quickly duck my head in an attempt to hide the blush I know is inevitable.  

[asksunnyandmoonyfnafsb]

Ill get the flamethrower for the parasite egg thingies! Flamethrowers solve everything!! Ok now stand still Sunny

WH- HOW DID YOU GET A FLAMETHROWER?????????????

I’m confiscating this, gimme that

*Vanessa takes the flamethrower from you*

Thank you,