#giraffe lookin ass bitch

[coffee-bat]

LMFAOOOO THE NECK

[thewickedharlot]

Poppy Park reveals "2023 Flop List": "When you're doing KPop, it's really easy to realize that Americans suck."

Who really needs new year's resolutions at this point? We all know we're not going to go to the gym more, or stop eating chocolate, or visit our dying elderly family members. What we can do every year though, is talking shit. KPop-starlet Poppy Park knows that and blessed us with an iPhone Notes app post revealing what she refers to as the "2023 Flop List". The post has since been deleted off her Twitter, but we could get a hold on a screenshot. The caption reads:

"When you're doing KPop, it's really easy to realize that Americans suck. At most things, really, but most of all, at their respective careers. This is mostly a reminder to myself - maybe a warning to others."

The list itself appears to be all over the place, only consisting of a few names along with vague words that apparently give reasons as to why the person in question is a flop:

"coal addams - farts

tasha reynolds - bad mom, doesnt call her fans "tushies"

lexi vasquez - #teamcathy

CODY barlowe - no soul, grown man named cody

elliott with two ts lim - spells his name with only one t (sucks), too tall (what are you a giraffe with abs?)

eva floppaport - come to korea for your next surgery alien lookin ass bitch

andrea jensen - #freegoosh

peyton koopa - acts like shes 17, pick me vibes"

Poppy's team has not responded to our request for comment.

[bogfolk]

If you can’t tell I was very much feeling myself and my outfit today :^)

[disappointed-and-depleted]

Some Of My Favourite Out Of Context One Piece Quotes: Dubbed

Green is for Zoro or Bartolomeo, Red is Luffy or Chopper, Blue is Sanji or Sabo, Purple is Usopp or Brook, Pink is Franky or background characters ie Perona or Buggy, orange and black are also for background characters

"Nobody calls me stupid but me"

"She blew up that funny old man and he was nice so now I hate her 😠"

*casually staring down a dinosaur* "you're a rude son of a bitch" *kicks it*

"Pirates! Or worse, the government!"

"🎶Good evening!✋🎶"

"Well, as per usual I've been kickin ass, and what about you?" "Been kickin ass."

"Hold on a second pirate A (Sanji) Nami isn't a background character like you, its gonna take more then one sorry little bazooka attack to defeat her"

*menacingly* "I love giraffes"

"...wOAh that is lame,"

"SOMEBODY GET ME A LAWYER, THERE'S NO WAY I'M NOT GONNA SUE YOUR ASS OFF FOR THIS!"

"It's a little early to be kissing his ass"

*casually throwing cannon balls* "WE DON'T WANT 'EM, TAKE 'EM BACK!"

"YOU PEOPLE ARE MONSTERS!" "Uh huh!✌✌✌💖"

"You just cook the meat, dont tell us how to eat it"

"Dead men tell no tales" *knows full well of Brook's existence*

*chanting* "FRANKYS NAKED, FRANKYS NAKED"

"WHERE ARE YOU MY FEISTY TRUFFLE!?💖"

"₲₳Ⱨ, ₳ ₮ⱤɆɆ ₩ł₮Ⱨ ₴Ø₥Ɇ ØⱠĐ ₲ɆɆⱫɆⱤ'₴ ₣₳₵Ɇ ł₴ ₮Ø₮₳ⱠⱠɎ ₲Ɇ₮₮ł₦₲ ĐⱤɄ₦₭ ₩ł₮Ⱨ ₳ ฿Ɇ₳₮ Ʉ₱ Ʉ₦ł₵ØⱤ₦"

"I'm so ashamed, my soul is as twisted as my curly eyebrows"

"Power has nothing to do with it, I just naturally have a negaTIVE PERSONALITYYYYYYYYYYYY"

"I-I don't believe this!" "Usopp actually looks cool for once." "Is his heart really that empty?" (I'm not sure if that's a good thing)

"What the hell is this guy? The Patron Saint of Pessimism?"

"AHHH, WHAT A TERRIBLE SOURCE OF SELF ESTEEM!"

*not so casually catching fire and jumping off a cliff* "NAMI-SWAAAAAAN"

"AAHHHHHH, DONT EAT ME I SWEAR IM ALL BONES"

"NAMI GAVE AWAY SOME OF HER TREASURRREEEE!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!! A STORM MUST BE COMING!"

"H-he wants to see underwear! EVERYONE, SHOW HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR" "Um, I- I don't need to see any man panties, thank you, I- uh- oh W O W."

"He's not stupid, he's Luffy."

"Awe man, I miss when Jinbei was on our side"

"Okay, uh, a sword shouldn't be able to do that... can we please call that thing somthing other then a sword?"

"THANK YOU BUGGY, SEE YOU IN THE AFTER LIFE, I GUESS"

"But wait, these guys are certified badasses,"

"What about child support?" "Put it on my tab" "THIS ISN'T A BAR"

"WHAT IS THIS, A CHILD LABOR SCHEME!?" (I love Sabo so much 😂😂)

"ATTA BOY SATAN"

"Ah, I didn't think you'd be the first," "Oh yeah? Nobody else has shown up? Well damn, I guess they got lost" (SAYS YOU ZORO)

"WHAT'S UP LADIES, IM FRESH OUTTA HELL AND LOOKIN FOR A GOOD TIME!"

"WHOA, DUDE!" "H E S G O T A H A N D I N H I S H A A A A A N D ! ! !"

"Still standing after all that? Maybe you got stronger after all," "Yeah, and your itty bitty baby attacks actually tickle a little now, too bad they still don't hurt as bad as your food hurts my stomach," "WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT!?"

"YOU'RE NOT READY FOR REAL GIRLS YET, SANJI! GO BACK TO YOUR PICTURES AND RELAX!"

"WHO NEEDS BLOOD, I HAVE LUST TO SUSTAIN ME!!"

"𝐀𝐇, 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘!"

"And so what if I am? Is it so wrong to want to share in the suffering of my friends? Cold is a state if mind after all! You don't need skin for that!"

*calmly but genuinely* "Resign from the warlords of the sea or go into battle with of the of the four emperors. Obviously he'll pass on both and kill us if he's wise. Yohohohoh- oh I'm scared!"

"Is that why you came down with us, racoon?" "Mhm....... HEY WHO ARE YOU CALLING RACOON, I'M A REINDEER JERK, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I SAID YOU WERE A BIG UGLY RAT WHO EATS GARBAGE- WHAT'S SO FUNNY LUFFY? QUIT LAUGHING!"

"I see, Racoon, so you can understand what animals say," "uh huh, it really comes in handy when we... HEY! COME ON, THERE WAS NO EXCUSE FOR IT THAT TIME!"

"Be extra careful, this is enemy territory," "HEY, ITS NOT AS DARK OVER HERE!" "what did I just tell you, stop yelling!" "Yeah, I hate to say this, but I'm with jerk face on this one," "*disgruntled noises*"

"Oh, so you're okay to be beaten up then,"

"I'mGonnaBeRealHonestWithYouHereSanjiAndGiveYouAHard I. Don't Know But!SayYourPrayersJustToBeSafe,K?"

Also any time someone other than Luffy calls Law "Traffy" is infinatly funny to me cause Dressrosa is super serious then Robin says "But Traffy's plan-" and I'm out of there

"My barrier only works on physical attacks, not verbal ones!"

"You lost me! You sound cool as hell and I still look up to you! Of course, but you lost me!"

"OH NO! MASTER DICKHEAD"

*Brook being eaten alive and no one paying any mind*

[thelowlysatsuma]

If you’re still doing the trope mashup, 6 and 13 (bookstore and detective) with Remile, please? Thank you!!

oh yES I CAN

Remulus Nox is a hotshot cop, and he looks damn good doing it.

So naturally, when he got a tip that a major-league drug deal might be going down at a local college in a week, he is on it, babes. Those poor bastards aren’t gonna know what hit ‘em.

So Remy’s got a week to kill, right? And while suuuuure, maybe he should be., like, investigating shit like his boring-ass partner is, Remy’s a bad bitch, and Mama needs his caffeine before he can get anythin’ done, hun.

The nearest Starbucks is inside a local library, and while Remy’s kinda sick of all these tiny gremlin children gawking at him – listen, he knows he’s hot shit, but come on. They’re like five years younger than him, which ew – he must say he’s intrigued when, while pushing past people to get to the drinks line like he’s parting the Red Sea, he bumps into an admittedly hot guy around his age wearing a fuckin’ sweater vest, of all the damn thing.

“Sorry, babe,” Remy replies, instinctively taking a step back to look up at the flippin’ giraffe. “Didn’t see ya there.”

The man giggles – frickin’ giggles, what the fuck? – and smiles at him. “No worries, there!” he chirps. “I shoulda been lookin’ where I was going.”

A second too late, Remy takes in the book cart the guy was wearing, and rolls his eyes. “So I’m guessing you work here, then?”

The man grins. “Yep!” He runs a hand through faded pink hair in desperate need of a dye job and leans back on the trolley. “Name’s Ethan, how about you?”

Remy flutters his eyelashes, snickering internally at the action. “Remy Nox, hon,” he replies smoothly, pushing his glasses up into carefully mussed hair. He slinks a hand into his jacket pocket, then offers Ethan a business card. “But you can call me whenever you want.”

Ethan blinks, then goes (an unfairly pretty) pink and begins to chuckle. “Well shucks,” he says, taking Remy’s number and slipping it into a back pocket, “I’m a little bit caught up in my studies right now, but I’m definitely going to call when I can.”

Remy raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms and cocking his hip. “College kid, huh? What’re you studying?”

Ethan bites his lip, distractedly adjusting his sweater. “Psychology, actually,” he says. “Hoping to become a licensed therapist, if possible.”

Remy tilts his head, furrowing his brows, and gives the man an appraising once-over. “Yeah,” he says, “I can see that.” His back pocket buzzes, and he scowls. “Ugh,” he says, “gotta get this.” Picking up the phone, he rolls his eyes. “Trevisan, this better be good.”

His partner’s clipped tones are biting even through the line. “Unlike some people,” Remy hears Logan say, “I’ve actually found a lead, and it’s time-sensitive. Get over to the corner of Sixth and Main – I have a possible suspect, but I can’t keep them here for long.”

“Fiiiiine,” he says. “But you owe me a coffee, bitch.”

“Dumbass.”

The line goes dead.

Remy grins apologetically at Ethan, who’s been watching the call curiously. “Gotta go talk to my business partner about a thing,” he says, easily lying through his teeth. Not that normally he’d be against telling the hot guy he’s a cop, but even he’s got some sense of when to keep shit hidden – and a few days before a drug deal when you don’t know who you can trust sounds like a pretty damn good time to withhold information if Rem’s ever heard one.

Ethan, for his part, just smiles at him. “Well,” he says, “I’ll still be here when you’re done.” He furrows his brows in thought, his tongue absently sticking out – and damn, if that’s not some cute shit right there. “I’m in here Monday through Wednesday,” he tells Remy. “Come see me when you can!”

Remy grins slyly. “Maybe I will,” he drawls, spinning on his heel and leaving the store as he lets his sunglasses fall back into their rightful place. “Maybe I will.”

Ohhhh, days like these, Remy hates being a cop. Not only is he stuck in the flippin’ drizzling rain with the biggest nerd he’s ever met, but his pants are ruined because of the mud they’re crouching in, his jacket is absolutely soaked, he’s not wearing his glasses, and the hot guy from the damn library is one of the fucking criminals.

Damn it.

“NYPD; hands in the air,” Logan calls out as he and Remy move in on the deal. “You’re surrounded!”

The criminals – as they so often do – make to scatter, but Remy isn’t too concerned. Their back-up has a damn sweet track record, after all. However, he thinks, as he races towards the bubblegum dumbass in the centre of the deal, gun at the ready, this was a lil too personal. Remy trusted his instincts, and having flirted with a criminal? Well, that just stung.

“Hands in the air, babe,” he hisses venomously, pointing his gun at Ethan. The guy’s either a moron or way too trusting of Remy’s general human decency, however, because all he does is narrow his eyes and take a step forward. “Nope!” Remy calls, weapon steady. “Nuh-uh, hon; not another step.”

Ethan rolls his eyes, and wow, not what Remy was expecting, and unfortunately, still kinda hot. “I’m gonna take out a piece of identification from my jacket,” the suspect says irritably, slowly broadcasting every move he makes as he haltingly reaches into his coat. “And after that, hopefully everything’ll make sense, ya Durland.”

Remy narrows his eyes, but allows the movement, watching the man carefully in case he tries to make a break for it. Instead, Ethan carefully unzips an inner pocket in his jacket, and takes out a bracelet with a barcode on it. “Scan it,” he urges, offering the offending rubber jewelry to Remy. “The hell?” Remy replies.

Ethan huffs, childishly pouting and sticking out his tongue at the cop. “Just do itttt,” he whines. “This’ll make a darn heck of a lot more sense and make everything easier if you do.”

Remy hesitates, and Ethan locks eyes with him, gaze fiery, piercing. Remy, feeling oddly vulnerable without his glasses, flushes.

“Do you trust me?”

The cop huffs out a, “No, what do you think?”, but obligingly takes the bracelet, scanning it using the barcode scanner on his phone. Two words flash onto the screen: The Doctor. Remy scoffs.

“What is this, some kind of weird roleplay?”

Ethan actually looks amused at that one, despite the obvious annoyance still present on his features. “Look that up in the deployed agents archive,” he urges.

Remy actually bursts out laughing at that one. “Bitch,” he says, “you think I have the clearance to do that from this dusty-ass street in the middle of nowhere? Please.” He straightens up, adjusts his jacket, and withdraws a pair of handcuffs. “Now, hon, if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking you down to the station for questioning.”

Ethan’s gaze cranks up from hot to blazing, and he actually nearly growls. “Remy,” he pleads, “you have no idea the kinda trouble you’re making right now. Just let me talk to another cop, someone who’ll look me up, for Bugs Bunny’s sake, and-”

“Picani?”

Logan’s absolutely shocked tone has Remy and Ethan snapping their heads to look at him. “Well hey there, Peridot,” the criminal says sheepishly, flashing the newcomer a wave with the hand he was previously using to hold out the bracelet. “You and your partner kinda. Uh. Messed things up for me here.”

Remy looks from the suspect, sheepishly grinning, to his partner, who seems absolutely flabbergasted. “Okay,” he says, “is anyone gonna bother tellin’ me what the hell is going on here?”

Logan grabs him by the arm, ignoring his partner’s squawking protests as he practically drags Remy to a more secluded area. “That,” Logan hisses, “is Emile Picani.” At Remy’s blank stare, he smacks himself on the forehead. “Picani, one of our best operatives, has been undercover for a year under the code name of The Doctor. Nox, we have gotten ourselves into a situation well above our pay grade here!”

Etha- no, Emile strides up to them, twirling a lock of hair around his finger, locking eyes with Remy. “And, hon,” he says, scorching annoyance fading now into easygoing resignation as he pushes his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose, “now we need ta figure out how to get me back in the game.”

Remy cocks an eyebrow, pushing down the hot, flighty burning at the back of his neck with practiced ease. “We?”

Emile grins. “Yep!” he replies cheerily. “Like it or not, you two are in on this now.”

He claps his hands delightedly, looking from one tot the other and back. “So! Let’s get to work.”

Remy groans – god, now he really needed that coffee – but, ever obligingly, follows the other man’s lead.

wow shit i have no idea if a n y of that is in character or if i’m just hella sleep deprived lmaooooooo

Send me two tropes and a ship!

[askalt2d]

then why aint you done nothin yet stupid ass are you chicken or something. big tough giraffe lookin bitch too afraid to develop a taste for blood and attack a child? pathetic

He punches you square in the nose– not hard enough to break or sprain, but just hard enough to sting.

((M!A: 20 again))

[akuma-zed]

You should umm, slide us the info on that bitch, giraffe lookin head ass that fucked up your whip. You know let us know who it is all sneaky beaky like.

Idiot was on his phone

[plusfuckingultra]

People really be getting on my damn nerves like I'm not a short BITCH who's wonderful girlfriend just bought them a cool ass knife

I have yet to stain it's metallic perfection, but I fucking will if it means you take me seriously for once

I have way too many repressed emotions for someone of my small stature and I'm not afraid to release them on someone that feels superior just because they can see the top of my damn head

I rarely sleep. But when I sleep, I dream of your painful end, the lasting pain that comes with underestimating all 5 feet of this-this perfectly dysfunctional being that fluctuates between believing themself to be God, the Devil, and the dirt that worms shit in

Shut the fuck up. Ugly giraffe lookin' ass

PS. your kneecaps look like shit, use fucking lotion, you're not dead yet, only because I chose mercy

[riveralikethepainter]

Best of Vine Sentence Meme

"How does it feel to be the worst cop ever?"

"Shuddup your mother buys you Megablox instead of legos. 

“Welcome to my kitchen. We have bananas, and avocados.”

“Well calm down, we don’t want a panic at the disco.”

“What up? I’m _______ I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read.”

“You may now kiss kiss fall in love!”

“Fuck this shit I’m out!” -jumps into nearby garbage can-

“I won’t hesitate, bitch!”

“Kinkshaming IS my kink!”

“Welcome to bible study! We’re all children of Jesus!”

“Halloween is in my soul.”

“I fell asleep waiting for you to make me a sandwich!”

“Go back to sleep and STARVE”

“That’s a good lookin’ flower you’ve got there bumblebee, high five.”

“So this is Kansas” -then points to Arkansas- “But this is not Our-Kansas AMERICA EXPLAIN!”

“First of all, I look good in this shirt. Second of all, I look good in this shirt, and third of all I look good in this shirt! So tell me I don’t look good in this shirt!”

“You got this Travis, make them wait for it... BOOM.”

“OW! Dammit, what the HELL _________?!”

“Alright let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m gonna go first. I. Hate you.”

“You have the right to remain sexy, anything you say can and will make me BUST A NUT!”

“I like running through white people neighborhoods with my shirt off.”

“I’m gonna steal all your stuff!”

“Hush now, Gregory. I am searching.”

“The higher I am, the more I can see.”

“So you think you can dance, that’s wonderful! DESTROY HIM.”

“My resting heart rate registers as a panic attack.”

“I’M A GIRAFFE!”

“...But the yo-yo master did not answer, he just kept on yo-ing”

“Is your baby a little shit? Shout at her, that will show her. DON’T BE NAUGHTY! DON’T BE NAUGHTY!”

“My poop is coming!”

-appears with a boombox and blasts the Space Jam theme-

“Oh my gawd, girl come over here they have a ramen noodle exhibit, you know that’s your favorite. Be careful, children! That’s a lotta sodium!”

“Two bros, chillin’ in the hot tub! 5 feet apart ‘cuz they’re not gay!”

-in a batman mask- “WHERE’S THE CATNIP?!”

“_______! Tables are for glasses! NOT asses!”