#give ralph macchio characters a dad

[ghstsrock]

why do Ralph Macchio characters never have a dad? it like “oh, you? you’re gonna be played by Ralph Macchio? DADLESS.”

[richonnefan50]

And this is how I win 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

[microwavedmetal]

Your comments on the El poll spoke to my soul. Especially the one about how they should have given El more character development instead of just having her lift her hand and scream.

How is she always on the screen (in place of interesting characters who have been pushed aside for multiple seasons) yet we know nothing about her? I'm not surprised all Mike could say about El was that she wore a big Benny's Burger shirt and she has super powers during his monologue. That's all the audience knows about her either, despite the fact that she's constantly taking up screen time.

I agree with you so much uuughhhhh,,,,,

I have mixed feelings about El because I like the idea of her, so much could have been done with her character. However, I hate that everything I "know" or "like" about El is either extrapolation or fanon. Even during her outing with Max where she's getting a taste of what it's like to pursue your interests, we're barely learning anything because, let's be honest, she needed and deserved much more than one day for soul-searching. You basically have to look for crumbs, something about colorful clothes and quiet agreement about Ralph Macchio's attractiveness.

Season 4 barely offered anything either. Everything revolves around the two men in her life: Mike and Hopper. The Mike shrine prop is a main focus when we first see her bedroom. We had the opportunity to have insight to her personality and values based on who she chose to do her 'hero project' on (like we did Will when he carried his Alan Turing poster), but she chose to do it on her dad, someone we already know about.

Maybe the writers are being purposefully vague on her character, maybe not. Maybe they make her bland enough to appeal to a maximum amount of people, maybe they want her to find and show how she really is like only once they make it clear to the audience that she will finally chooses to stop defining herself with other people (it's constantly happening: the borrowed clothes in EVERY season, from Mike to Hopper to Kali and even Will). If something's gotta give, it will in season 5.

[mauvecardigans]

@youandthemountains @macchiatosdumptruck

hehe oops

So first off, as synopses go, the blurb on the back is pretty sparse:

“Robert De Niro, Ralph Macchio and Burt Young starred in this harrowing yet often hilarious first play by a young Hispanic playwright in a sold out, limited engagement on Broadway. Cuba is a small time cocaine and marijuana dealer whose pride and joy is his 16 year old son Teddy. Cuba has great hopes for his son; what he doesn’t know is that the boy has already succumbed to the lure of the streets and is fast becoming a heroin junkie.”

Not inaccurate, but...misses the heart, I guess?

Cuba does this so his son doesn’t have to, so Teddy can have better. And he does it all in the open, no secrets, without hiding it from Teddy - so Teddy knows what not to do in order to do better. Cuba, a single father, also made a point of raising Teddy as a “gringo” (his words) so he’d have an easier time of it. Obviously there are, uh, downsides to going about things this way, but his heart’s in the right place. And Cuba explains all this, eventually. The summary is, however, bang on about the coke and the weed.

Teddy’s a quiet kid who spends a lot of time writing in his notebook. A few weeks shy of 17, he has that awful, strange, sad, fucked-up teenage view of his pop - he loves him, he’s scared (of him? of what he does? of what he might think of Teddy?), he doesn’t understand him, he doesn’t like him. But he finds companionship and seeks mentorship in Che, a Tony-winning Latino playwright from the Lower East Side (who’s also homeless and, at the very least, into heroin). Che’s hugely important to Teddy, as a writer, as an “accomplished individual” (Teddy’s words), and as a source of a drug he can’t get from his dad (who insists, like cool moms in 00s movies, that Teddy come to him if he wants to try anything). Teddy was raised by his father and his abuelita, but at Cuba’s insistence, only understands some Spanish and speaks none. He knows some of the santeria - Cuba maintains an altar in their apartment - but blocks his ears and stalks out of the apartment when salsa is played. As far as the back-of-the-book blurb goes, ‘succumb’ and ‘junkie’ are a little strong, but I guess I can see why the publisher would go for that language. compels_me_though.gif

So there’s...some context? I guess? Without necessarily spoiling too much of the actual plot.

Here’s some of my rando thoughts, which are a bit less organized.

There is just a lot of meat to Cuba - there’s a lot to him. I wish I could explain more about why de Niro just seems like such a great fit for this, but he does. I mean would it be nice to have a Latino powerhouse play a Latino powerhouse? Absolutely. But I can see why this decision was made.

So that review, with the “An eerie, subliminally sexual bond of dominance pervades this womanless household, with the boy serving as a submissive valet, an Edith Bunkerish wife”?

HA yeah.

The second half is 1000% supported by the text. Teddy iron’s Cuba’s shirt, brings him his clothes, helps him do his hair before he goes out. That’s indisputable.

The first half is just your bog-standard straight* man’s response to Ralph Macchio, but instead of being sports (macho) violent, it’s theater (not macho) sexy.

Running out of steam and used up all my braincells on the character shite, so parting thought - there’s no way Teddy is straight. There’s only one moment in the text that gives any sort of indication one way or the other, and to say that it’s ambiguous is an understatement. This is just kinda the vibe I get, from the way they made up Macchio and the way his manner of speech is very different from everyone else in the play.

*presumably; the reviewer died in ‘94 and was survived by his wife

[deputychairman]

Karate Kid/Cobra Kai survey

I was generously tagged by @ghostalservice but even if i hadnt been i’d be answering this important piece of research 

It’s the year 2021 and you’re obsessed with The Karate Kid. How are you feeling? I’m unlocking new levels of cringe every day, babey! I’m cringe-bonding with some very fine people, I can’t look my own Pinterest in the eye, I’ve watched all of Ralph Macchio’s DWTS clips (for a given value of the word “watched” where it means “glanced at through my fingers every few seconds as my entire body curled up with secondhand embarrassment and overwhelming tenderness”). I don’t know HOW I’m feeling, exactly, but I sure am feeling a lot of it!

Did you grow up with TKK or are you new to the series? I knew of it, I was like 6 and a tomboy when it came out (you know the kid who disappears in Stranger Things, Winona Ryder’s son? I looked like that until puberty) so I was absolutely the right demographic to get into it, but just didnt.

We gotta do the basics. Favorite character: DANIEL LARUSSO, always and forever! I’m embarrassed how much I care! I have to restrain myself from arguing with people who make mild jokes at his expense in the tags; he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever; toxic masculinity, I don’t know her; he invented dad cringe; he gives great head and loves to cuddle; he absolutely is traumatised by what Johnny Lawrence & the Cobras did to him and the whole Thing with Terry Silver but will always be all “what do you mean ‘trauma’ it wasn’t that bad hahaha!” While still telling at least the Johnny part with full drama “and then they pushed me off a CLIFF – but I’m fine hahaha!” He is holding his shit together like an eldest daughter, ok, and I’m the only person who can mock him. Me, Amanda & Johnny Lawrence. 

Favourite ship: Daniel LaRusso/Johnny Lawrence, their 35 years of shared trauma and the inherent eroticism of violence. I saw their gay little intense-eye-contact bow at the end of s3 and the cartoon lightbulb over my head went ding ding ding! 

Underrated character: Carmen: that woman just wants to get laid and she’s had to drink expired orange juice, listen to the “and then Daniel LaRusso RUINED MY LIFE” speech at drunken length, feature in a weird sex dream where the role she’s filling in Johnny’s libido is weirdly blurred with Daniel’s – doesn’t she deserve better? How confident are YOU that Johnny ‘hot asshole who partied through his 20s & 30s’ Lawrence showed her a good time in bed? Because I’m not that confident.

Underrated ship (don’t say therapy, lol): Amanda & Daniel: I know we practically see her pegging him on screen, but I want to know more! The question of who the 80s heartthrob Karate Kid married, how they met, how old is she when her actress is only 42, the horny energy when they go out there to sell cars together like a one-two punch, the way she can absolutely murder him with blowjob jokes, whole face sparkling with delight, and he just accepts it – her general air of affectionate mockery, possibly because as a true audience cypher, she’s a little bit embarrassed at how into him she is – SURELY this dynamic merits more analysis!

Wax On, Wax Off or Sweep the Leg?: I see that we’re interpreting this to mean the two seminal transformative works in the Karate Kid Cinematic Universe, which is perfect, I love the supplementary material, love the layers of fiction and reality you get to play with there! Ralph Macchio’s “I wanna make a sex tape. With NO cuddling!” obviously lives in my head rent free (hit me up for tips on explaining why that’s funny to a 9 year old), but I love the Sweep the Leg song and William Zabka’s vision for adult Johnny, the fact that they were able to make this video in the first place and add to the pop culture myth of the Karate Kid, the fact that he chose to put himself in a red Speedo and have Ralph Macchio look at him Like That

Which of Daniel’s dumb little outfits is your favorite?: How could anybody choose just one? But it would have to be the jean shorts on the beach look, when the camera shows us Ali from between his legs? Not sure what that angle was all about, I don’t understand the moving image, but I do know a Stone Cold #Look when I see one. Also the bare arms tank top, sweatpants & bare feet look in CK.  Keep on sexualising those old men 2k21! 

Character from the films you most want to return, who’s not Terry Silver:  Literally ANYONE from high school who can provide a 3rd party POV on how batshit insane it is that Johnny & Daniel are now running a dojo together.

Scene that lives in your head rent-free: the day drinking date in s1, the entire restaurant scene from s2, but especially every single word Daniel & Johnny say to each other: “bigger is better” “I didn’t need an army, just the right moves” “wanna take this outside and see whose leg will go higher?”.

Will Anthony LaRusso ever be relevant?: Yes, thusly: 

You live in The Valley and are forced into the karate gang war. Which dojo do you join: Miyagi-do, don’t even need to think about it. I would like to AVOID conflict please, and if defensive karate can help me then I’m there. 

What’s your training montage song?: I have to train?  

It’s the crossover event of the century! Which TV show are you combining with Cobra Kai for an hour-long Saturday night special? I’ve been thinking about this and my answer is Due South, because 1) if Fraser’s dad can manifest from the underworld on the strength of a bad relationship to offer useless advice, surely Mr Miyagi could come too and actually, you know, show him a positive example of a father/son relationship? The two ghosts would get on like a house on fire anyway, doing Dad Stuff and being deliberately cryptic. 2) I see a lot of Fraser/Daniel parallels: neat hair, “hahaha everything’s fine I’m fine and my life is totally together! People like me and I’m living up to my father (figure)’s legacy! Idk if I really see his ghost or if it’s just a sign of my fragile mental state, maybe I just won’t think about it!” And 3) Johnny & RayK would vibe: possibly they’d have to have a fight first to clear the air of all the toxic masculinity they’ve absorbed, but then they’d have a lot in common, like low self esteem and muscle cars and being a hot blonde mess.

[sketchygirls4lipstickboys]

Modern Recasting of The Outsiders

Zac Efron as Darrel “Darry” Curtis

Described as: “a large man, of 6' 2" and he is broad shouldered. His hair is said to be like his father's- dark brown that sticks out in the front of his head with a cowlick in the back. His eyes "are like two pieces of pale blue-green ice." He is said to look exactly like his father, but with different eyes. Also, he looks older than his actual age, which is twenty. Ponyboy says he would be better looking if his eyes weren't so cold.” - The Outsiders Wiki

I genuinely believe that Efron is an incredible actor and has shown in the past to be able to play an emotional role quite well. If you’re iffy about Zac Efron, just look at his portrayal of Ted Bundy in the new Netflix movie Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile which has shown that he can not only play a serious role, but play it well. My only concern is age, but Patrick Swazye was 31 when he took up the role, and Efron is the same age. Plus it gives off the whole dad vibe you guys love so much about Darry. A big plus is that Efron has incredibly interesting blue eyes.

Ansel Elgort as Steve Randle

Described as: “tall, lean, cocky, and smart.” He likes to comb his hair in thick complicated swirls.

I think Elgort is one of the best actors that we’ve had in awhile. I’ve been completely entranced with this dude’s acting since Baby Driver, and he’s been shown to handle any role that’s been handed to him.

Dave Franco as Sodapop Curtis

Described as: “‘movie star handsome,’ and has silky, dark gold hair (real tuff) that he combs back with dark brown (recklessly, dancing) eyes and a goofy grin that you can't help but love (which is noted by Ponyboy after getting jumped by the Socs).” - The Outsiders Wiki

Sodapop is probably the hardest person to cast because no matter who plays him, it doesn’t match how hot you thought he was going to be while reading the book (even i was a little disappointed with Rob Lowe). Dave Franco, in all reality, is way too old to play Soda, but he matches the physical traits and personality of Soda. Dave Franco is an amazing actor and i feel he could genuinely respect the character. Not to mention a slight resemblance to Efron.

Jack Dylan Grazer as Johnny Cade

Described as: “smaller than the rest, with a slight build. He had big black eyes in a dark tanned face; his hair was jet-black and heavily greased and combed to the side, but it was so long that it fell in shaggy bangs across his forehead.” - The Outsiders Wiki

While Sodapop is the hardest character to cast, Johnny Cade is the hardest to recast. Ralph Macchio as Johnny is one of the best castings i’ve ever seen. For a young actor to not only portray a book character well, but also look exactly what millions pictured is amazing. I’ve only seen Grazer in 2017′s IT but he was phenomenal in it. I feel like he could really take this role seriously and add his own modern twist on such a classic character.  

Tom Holland or Ty Simpkins as Keith “Two-Bit” Mathews

Described as: “around six feet tall, stocky in build, and was very proud of his long, rust-colored sideburns. He has grey eyes and was always wearing a wide grin. In "The Outsiders" novel, Two-Bit's hair is described as 'rust colored.'” -The Outsiders Wiki

Okay, hear me out. These two have been shown to be excellent comic reliefs, but also can be serious when needed. Also, they’ve worked with some big names and have managed to hold their own and even outshine them on screen. Simpkins has the correct hair color to play Two-Bit and giving actors sideburns isn’t that hard with a good make-up team. The builds that both these actors have is wrong for the role, but Holland is super well built so that’s not all that worrying. He also has a niche for accents so the Britishness isn’t worrying either. The physical appearance is off but the essence of Two-Bit is there for both Holland and Simpkins.

Noah Schnapp as Ponyboy Curtis

Described as: “[having] light-brown hair and greenish-gray eyes. He has a good build for his size and is a fast runner. At the beginning of the novel, Ponyboy's hair is long and squared in the back, but after his haircut in Windrixville, his hair is short and bleached blond.”- The Outsiders Wiki

Thomas C. Howell in my mind, is and will always be Ponyboy Curtis. But i feel like Schnapp would be amazing in this role. He has shown that he can handle a lead role, and he just emanates that dreaminess, head-in-the-clouds personality Ponyboy has. I could just imagine Efron yelling at his dumbass. He also shares a resemblance to Franco and Efron.

His eyes are even the same ‘greenish-gray’ as Ponyboy’s.

Dacre Montgomery as Dallas “Dally” Winston

Described as: “[having] an elfish face with high cheekbones, a pointed chin, small, sharp animal teeth, and ears like a lynx. Dally didn't like haircuts nor hair oil, so his almost white-blonde hair fell over his forehead in wisps. He had blazing blue eyes which Ponyboy describes as ‘cold with all the hatred in the world.’“ - The Outsiders Wiki

You may know Montgomery as Billy in the Netflix Original Stranger Things, and this dude was amazing. He knew how to be intimidating and hot, and it shows. He would be perfect for Dally. A little hair dye and this dude is good to go.

So that was my modern casting for The Outsiders. if you liked it, or even have some ideas of your own as to who should play who, let me know! If this gives me enough clout i might do a part two with the other characters like Cherry, Marcia, Bob, Tim, etc.

[tawneybel]

The holy month of No Nut November is not observed on this blog. 

Did I ever mention how much I love Halloween socks? It takes self-control not to buy a dozen pairs each year. But if you don’t get ones that actually say “Halloween” or have pumpkins on them, you can wear them whenever.

Okay, last personal post I said I would talk about Stranger Things 3. First, here’s a list of other stuff I’ve watched:

Murder on the Orient Express 2017

Crooked House 2017

Hills Have Eyes 2 

Sleepwalkers (Charles Brady is going on my husband list.)

Slither (But the infestation was not sexy, not sexy at all.) 

Body Snatchers (Billy Wirth is actually hotter [to me] in this than The Lost Boys.)

Halloween: Resurrection 

Rocky III

Halloween II 2009 (Caught up with this franchise, finally.) 

Leatherface

Pet Sematary 1989 (Debating whether or not to watch Pet Sematary Two, but I definitely want to watch the remake.) 

Thir13een Ghosts (Had no idea this was a remake. The Torn Prince is kinda cute.) 

Orphan (Actually pretty terrifying.) 

The Blob 1988 (I’m surprised I preferred the original.) 

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Finally! Bubba’s grunts and yelps are oddly endearing.) 

Suzie, Do You Copy?

It’s a good thing I watched the recap. Steve’s still great. Guys who are good with kids are sooo hot. That’s why dads are hot.

I wish I could hang out at the Starcourt Mall with its synth music. :( Some people don’t like how this series employs so much eighties nostalgia pandering. I don’t see the problem. 

The Mall Rats

“Yeah, well, boyfriends lie. All the time.” Who hurt you? Besides Lucas. Communicate! Then dump his a/s/s if need be. As for those supposedly mean girls, all they did was give you a look! Don’t blow the drinks up in their faces! Imagine if Eleven had manually done that. It would be considered bullying. :/ 

I want Mrs. Wheeler’s swimsuit and El’s dress with the black background. And I want to get glamour shots to “Material Girl.” But my favorite thing about this episode was the possession. It was a really, really pleasant surprise. 

The Case of the Missing Lifeguard

Ralph Macchio? Yesss. When I was thirteen, I watched The Outsiders and I’ve liked him since. Also, Bill Gambini from My Cousin Vinny.

The Sauna Test

Look at all those infested townspeople. Yes, good.

The Flayed

The characters are kind of mean to each other. :( But Steve finally won a fight!

E Pluribus Unum

Flayed!Billy’s speech: “Don’t you see? All this time we’ve been building it. We’ve been building it… for you./“All that work… all that pain… all of it, for you.”

Also, today Dustin would be considered a Brony. 

The Bite

I like how El and Mike worked on their issues. Illegally hanging out at a grocery store after hours with some friends seems fun. Steve making fun of Robin’s crush was one of my favorite scenes this season: “She sounds like a Muppet giving birth.”

Eleven badassedly using telekinesis to get that thing that burrowed under her skin. 

Alexei died, which sucked. But I laughed when Murray said, “I left for a stupid corndog.” It sounded like he got food before looking for Hopper and Joyce. 

The Battle of Starcourt

I wish a Flayed dude would carry me over his shoulder. But like, without knocking me out first. And without carrying me to danger. 

Dustin/Suzie might become my Stranger Things OTP in season four. Their rendition of “The NeverEnding Story” was so beautiful. Eventually I will watch that movie. 

Nice to see Keith again. I WANT TO WORK IN AN EIGHTIES VIDEO STORE. :( Thanks, Netflix.

Song of the Day: “Bigger Hole to Fill” by The Hives.

[daleisgreat]

Cobra Kai - Seasons One & Two

I never considered myself a hardcore fan of the original Karate Kid films. I enjoyed them growing up, and the first film held up when I re-watched it with a friend three or four years ago. A few years ago, YouTube picked up the rights to have their own exclusive series that features the characters from the original movies and have it pick up where those characters are today, 30 years after the original trilogy left off. It is called Cobra Kai (trailer), the name of the rival karate school that series antagonist Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) attended. The first episode of both seasons one and two are available to stream for free, but to see the rest of the seasons you will have to be a paid subscriber to YouTube Premium, or you can be like me and pick up the DVD set that combines the first two seasons for under $20. The first season picks up in the present, nearly 30 years after the original trilogy wrapped up. It starts to focus on where deadbeat Johnny Lawrence is currently at in his life, barely able to make ends meet on his own and finding himself recently out of a job. He reluctantly helps his neighbor Miguel (Xolo Maridueña) out of a jam with some bullies. Miguel is impressed with Johnny’s karate skills and wants him to be his sensei, and once Johnny stumbles into some money, he re-opens the Cobra Kai school.

Cobra Kai is not all about Johnny’s journey as fate leads to Johnny soon enough getting reacquainted with his rival, Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio). Daniel is in a much better place in his life; he runs a car dealership with his wife, Amanda (Courtney Henggeler) and they have a daughter Amanda (Mary Mouser) that Daniel has passed on his karate tutelage onto. Eventually Johnny and Daniel’s egos heat up once again and in their proper way of thinking the best way to exact revenge on one another is for them to train their prized pupil in order to win the regional karate championship to rub in the other’s face. Only Amanda is hesitant on getting back into karate and fate leads to Daniel taking Johnny’s estranged son Robby (Tanner Buchanan) under his wing where this eventually all builds up to Robby and Miguel squaring off in the finals of the all-important regeional karate tournament. By the end of the first episode I was completely on board, after originally thinking there was no way they can pull this off thirty years later. However, once you see Johnny and Daniel exchange words for the first time again all these years later it is readily apparent there is an organic chemistry between the two and it was eye-opening how the two did not miss a beat after three decades. Another factor that helps is Cobra Kai nails the tone it is going for. It retains just enough of that cornball-80s charm with elements of Johnny and Daniel still living in the past. Apparently Johnny boycotted new technology post high school and scenes with him discovering the Internet, smartphones and dating apps are all a riot. The humor is balanced out by playing it straight with the new younger faces introduced and going along for the ride with Miguel, Amanada and Robby’s teenage growing pains.

Seeing all the characters evolve over the course of the two seasons is a remarkable feat of television. Johnny goes on a journey from being deadbeat dad, to trying to be the same ruthless sensei that his teacher Kreese (Martin Kove) was to eventually learning a moral or two. Miguel’s and Robby’s season spanning arc is truly something else and watching them gradually become different people stayed with me. The build up to the season finale at the karate tournament hit all the right nostalgia wrinkles and I love how the tournament organizers overplayed it and properly recognized Cobra Kai’s AWESOME entrance. The karate tournament itself is masterfully produced and once again brought back fond memories of the original films with plenty of nice little nods and callbacks throughout. The final fight between Robby and Miguel lived up to the hype that built to it throughout the season. After picking up the DVDs I invited my brother over to watch this with me as I had a gut feeling he would appreciate Cobra Kai as much as I would, and sure enough by the season one finale tournament we both were unabashedly rooting for our favorites and feeling every kick and blow dealt throughout. Season two raises the stakes with an old face in the controversial original Cobra Kai sensei Kreese coming back to help with Cobra Kai’s expanding student-base while Daniel officially starts his own dojo, Miagi-do to combat Cobra Kai’s influence in the area . Season two focuses more on Daniel and Johnny building up their respective dojos and minor friends of Amanda, Miguel and Robby in season one have bigger roles in season two when they also pick sides in the high school karate wars. Seeing the dojos poke and prod at each other during the course of the season appropriately built up tensions in skirmishes in the mall and a house party before culminating in a epic 10 minute fight on the first day of school where apparently school security is worryingly laxed. The fallout of that tumultuous brawl for the ages has major ramifications for certain characters at the end of season two, and while season one closed on a mostly positive note for most characters, season two saw its finale swing in the other direction with most characters in precarious positions.

I dug season two almost as much as season one and liked how the kids were a bigger emphasis in the sequel season and we got to see more of the periphery characters shine in the second season. The adults still play a big role in the follow-up season with Danny patching up squabbles with the wife, and Johnny having a standout episode where he reunites with his fellow Cobras in a ‘special’ heartfelt episode. Krese is still as ruthless as ever and wears Cobra Kai’s motto, “No Mercy” on his sleeve. Watching both dojos try to expand their rosters and quarrel at school during the daytime got both my brother and I riled up as we anticipated everything would come to a boil at another karate tournament, but were thrown for a loop for the gratifying over-the-top fight scene at the school. Again, the consequences for that big fight were felt in the closing scenes of season two with a few added little twists that put the future of Cobra Kai and Miagi-do in jeopardy for season three. Speaking of Mr. Miagi, while Pat Morita passed away long ago, I will give props to how Cobra Kai has his presence remained a glowing constant on the show with frequent references and past clips implemented at poignant moments throughout the series. Almost every episode of Cobra Kai has quick clips and callbacks to the original movies, even The Next Karate Kid got a couple subtle nods (the Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan reboot got ret-conned out of cannon according to producer interviews). By the end of season two I was surprised how deep the writers and producers pulled for references and periphery characters that made a return, and I am grateful they peppered in brief shots of the original films to remind me of them.

There are a fair amount of extras for both seasons. The first season only has 20 minutes of bonuses with deleted scenes, audition reads, interviews with the composers for the series and two musical performances from William Zabka’s band. Season three has almost double the extras and aside from a gag reel and deleted scenes it also features more extended behind-the-scenes specials covering both season’s fight choreography, character profiles and a very handy feature highlighting most of the references to the earlier films. Not a boatload of extras by any means, but what is here is pretty good and I will give props to YouTube for not being content with only the episodes on disc. I recall giving the cold shoulder to Cobra Kai initially thinking there was no way they could pull this off after all these years. I got there was a little bit of Johnny Lawrence nostalgia going on with some of the commercial spots of the character several years back, but in no way was I prepared to be blown away by how good Cobra Kai is and how it recaptured the same underdog spirit that made me love it in my childhood. Nor was I prepared for how they would introduced a new generation of students that won me over as much as Johnny and Daniel did three decades prior and made their journeys equally as riveting as Johnny and Daniel’s. Do not brush off Cobra Kai like I initially did and at the very least give the first episodes that are currently free on YouTube a shot. Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap 2016-17 TV Season Recap 2017-18 TV Season Recap 2018-19 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Baseball: A Ken Burns series Angry Videogame Nerd Home Video Collections Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 | Season 2 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld Final Season Star Trek: Next Generation – Seasons 1-7 Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television The Vietnam War: A Ken Burns series X-Men – The Animated Series: Volumes 4-5

[kevintor]

I Watch a Movie I Should Have Seen: “The Outsiders”

All I knew about this movie was the name “Ponyboy” and that the cast was jam-packed with 80s beefcake like a savory Great British Baking Show pie I wouldn’t want to eat. I wish I could remain in that blissful, pre-watch state.

My thoughts:

The opening credits are "sands in an hourglass” away from being the start of a soap opera. I kept waiting for my mom to fast-forward the VCR to get to Luke and Laura.

Ralph Macchio can’t run very well. I don’t know what the excuse is. This is long before his leg is swept. 

Matt Dillon asks Diane Lane if she’s a real redhead. It’s followed by two separate, but way-too-long, instances of assault. I think Matt Dillon’s character is a metaphor for how awful the movie is.

Ponyboy is the guy’s real name. It’s what’s on his birth certificate. His brother is Sodapop. They said the dad was “original.” Maybe he was having a four-year-long stroke.

The Drive-In: Where everything comes in a cup!

In the 60s, if you fought over women, you had to break a bottle or pull out a butterfly knife. I get it. I got my wife because I broke…out my affection for her and her affection matched mine so we mutually decided to start spending time together.

This is filmed like a bad after-school special or a middle school play. Give the editor credit that not a single scream of “LINE!” made it into the final cut.

The Karate Kid killed a guy! He stabbed Leif Garrett to death! This must have given Tiger Beat magazine months of covers.

Matt Dillon lights a match using his necklace. It’s sorcery.

Ponyboy and Karate Kid stow away on a train. They take it to an abandoned church to lay low until the murder heat dies down. They prove it’s abandoned, not with rats, but with shots of two rabbits. “Mr. Coppola, I know when I talked you out of putting a rabbit’s head in the guy’s bed in ‘The Godfather,’ you said, ‘Next time I get two rabbits,’ but…"

Ponyboy and Karate Kid cut their greaser hair to lay low. Karate Kid looks like shorter-haired Karate Kid and Ponyboy looks like He-Man’s alter-ego.

Ponyboy reads “Gone With The Wind” to Karate Kid. They share so many tender moments while they’re on the run, but not actually moving. This movie would make more sense if this was a love story between them.

Matt Dillon takes them to Dairy Queen. Some kids come ask for fifteen cents. Matt Dillon hides his face and shouts at them to go away. Then he says, “That was close.” Does he think the 10-year-old girl and 6-year-old boy were undercover cops? Is Matt Dillon "age blind?"

Ponyboy, Karate Kid, and Matt Dillon return from Dairy Queen to find the abandoned church on fire. Even worse, it’s apparently the day of the local school’s field trip to an abandoned church and some kids are stuck inside! Ponyboy, Karate Kid, and Matt Dillon save the day!

Side note: One of the school teachers says to the other school teacher that she thinks some students might be inside the building. The other teacher responds that she’s probably wrong. No need to check. As a chaperone, I, myself, have an 80% student return guarantee due to similar laziness.

Emilio Estevez’s name is Two-bit. His diet consists of chocolate cake and Budweiser and he wears a sleeveless Mickey Mouse t-shirt. And, for some reason, we get way more screen time of Matt Dillon?

Ponyboy has a deep conversation with the head of the Socs about the impending rumble. The sexual tension is palpable. Guys just open up to Ponyboy. Does he put out pheromones that bring all the boys to the yard? Damn right!

We have a heart-wrenching scene where Karate Kid and Ponyboy talk in the hospital. Pony boy tells him he’s going to be okay as Karate Kid repeatedly tells him he’s not with medical evidence as support. Ponyboy: “You’re going to be okay.” Karate Kid: “The doctors say I’ll never walk again." Ponyboy: “It’s going to be fine.” Karate Kid: “It’s not. My spine was crushed. The cord was actually severed.” Ponyboy: “I have a good feeling about this.”

We end with a mud-wrestling rumble between the Greasers and the Socs. Jeans vs. Khakis. Gross hair vs. Weird hair. Someone has to win and it definitely won’t be me.

This movie was terrible. I can’t think of a moment I enjoyed in it.

Somewhere in the middle, I wondered if maybe Karate Kid was just a figment of Ponyboy’s imagination like in “Fight Club.” How cool would the movie have been if, at the end, Sodapop said, “What are you talking about, Ponyboy? YOU stabbed Leif Garrett. Who’s Karate Kid?” Then we quickly flash back through various scenes of the movie showing Ponyboy doing the stuff Karate Kid did. Mind blown.

Instead, it is one of the worst things I’ve ever watched. And we still have no idea if Diane Lane is a natural redhead!

[brihana25]

Teachers (1984) - Part 1

Or, as I like to call it, “That time Ralph Macchio was in a movie with Morgan Freeman and was listed four people and the title above him in the credits ...”

*ahem*

Quiver, tonight, it is my extreme pleasure to introduce you all to Eddie Pilikian. 

Eddie’s a kid, obviously, about 16-17 years old, and he’s got some issues. 

He can’t read

He hates school

He spends most of his time protecting his best friend (until he’s not there to do it, and something awful happens)

He kinda stole the Driver’s Ed car

He keeps breaking the fire alarm

His dad is an asshole who apparently beats the shit out of him every chance he gets (including in the office, in front of his favorite teacher)

His mom cares more about “winning” custody of him than she does protecting him or raising him

Those are just a few of his issues. But underneath all that, he’s a smart kid with a good heart. He really just needs someone - anyone - to give a damn about him. Enter his assigned guidance counselor and social studies teacher, Alex Jurel (played by Nick Nolte).

Anyway, it’s a great movie. It’s been a favorite of mine for a long, long time. Ralph playing one of the main characters didn’t hurt, of course, but this is the kind of teacher/troubled student, mentor/fatherless child movie that I live for.

Also, because my fingers just would not stop slipping (so much pretty ... so many scenes ... so many shots ... 73 of them, to be exact ...), I’m posting this in two parts. 

I normally try to avoid having words on the screen when I do caps, but ... I couldn’t not take this one. This is the first time we see Eddie, and besides, it’s an awesome freaking shot.

[bmaxwell]

Number 59: Slay the Spire

I have fond memories of my dad teaching me how to play Rummy when I was a kid, and playing Authors with my grandmother. I spent much of my high school time playing Magic the Gathering. I’ve played hundreds of games of Dominion and Race for the Galaxy. Card games are in my DNA. And I fell in love with rogue-likes with games like Rogue Legacy and Dungeons of Dredmor. The specter of permanent death plus the progress of slowly unlocking things for future runs creates a terrific “carrot and stick” system.

Every once in awhile a game comes along that combines things I love in a “chocolate plus peanut butter” way. I present to you Slay the Spire. You start with a deck of basic cards, fight enemies in turn-based combat and slowly alter and improve your deck as you progress though an increasingly-difficult tower of enemies and encounters. There are character classes, each with unique cards and play styles. Sign me the fuck up.

One of the things I love about card games is being handed some random cards then forced to improvise a winning strategy out of it. I’ve had successful runs full of cards I’d initially written off as “useless” or “not my style.” I’ve had runs where I felt absolutely invincible only get defeated because my deck was too narrow in focus and I met my Kryptonite. An awful lot of my runs end with me saying “Oh BULLSHIT I should have had that!” and immediately starting another. This game can make hours melt away like few things I’ve played. I need to be careful with Slay the Spire, because I can sit there like a gambling addict at a slot machine, chain-smoking Pall Malls all day and cranking out run after run.

Slay the Spire’s design is brilliant in its simplicity. The game’s quality comes from the design team’s ability to balance a large number of cards, relics, and enemies all together. Nothing feels overpowered, and each character feels truly distinct. Give me enjoyable core gameplay and let me customize it to my liking and you’ve got me. To that point, the game has Steam Workshop support for mods, so in addition to the game’s already insane replay value, I can also play as the Hollow Knight, Goku, or any number of other user-made classes. I just now realized I want to be able to play as The Karate Kid in this game. The Ralph Macchio version.

Put it on Switch, put it on tablets and phones, keep making characters. I will gladly keep supporting this game. I’ve put nearly 400 hours into it on PC, and when they add their 4th character I plan on diving back in. I’ve had the card game Ascension on every tablet and phone I’ve owned, and Slay the Spire has just as much longevity.