#glirsty lesbian

[nerdynikki94]

Drunk, and just thinking about how I desperately want a 'Dennis is depressed episode' with Glenn entirely unkempt, messy curls, overgrown five o'clock shadow, huddled up and crying (it would probably be over something stupid, because Sunny is a sitcom. Though I like the idea of it surrounding his obsession with maintaining his youth, yet a macden motivation would be the dream.) I need it for the aesthetic pleasure; also pathetic Dennis is so necessary, and long overdue for a resurgence.

[gaydennisreynolds]

YES! Helen is the lesbian grandma I hope to be to future generations. Her love for poor widdle meow meow Jack Griffin is good authentic queer representationTM. Was one or more of the AP Bio writers room a member of our degenerate community of girlies (gn) who thirst for the alien called Glenn who while being somwhat-good-looking-but-not-thaaat-good-looking is somehow still confusingly hotter than anyone else?? I wanna push him onto a blanket and roll him up tight. Shove him downhill off a cliff.

wasn't the entire marketing budget of ap bio spent on making glenn look hot and convincing people to be glirsty? i think it was, so i'm gonna have to go with a resounding yes on this one

[itssunnyallthefuckingtime]

I literally hate myself for this but I'm.. glirsty..🥺

I'm A LESBIAN this should n o t be happening

Someone help

[macden]

girl you stan a rapist character but shame others for stanning a ship bc it involves rape.. lmao you're beyond delusional about everything, making nasty as fuck glob posts that i guess are fine because they are JoKeS and then calling out others for shipping them, calling yourself a lesbian but constantly thirsting over men that you've made it your url, like you seriously need to get yourself checked holy fuck even mac didn't reach that level. get well soon i guess

aldfkjglkfdg did you…. honest to god just say i’m worse than mac? mac mcdonald? from it’s always sunny in philadelphia? are we talking about the same mac? the racist misogynistic violent manipulative one?  

i get that it’s holiday break and you don’t have anything better to do with your time but have you considering taking a deep breath and thinking logically about anything at all? luckily i’m procrastinating studying for exams so i have time to answer this shit instead of ignoring it like i should (under the cut because i don’t want to clog people’s dashes)

1. there is a very obvious difference between liking dennis as a character while being horrified by the things he’s done and not condoning or excusing them, and then specifically shipping a rapist with the person she raped. 

2. alksdfjklJLSFJLDF are we rlly still on this? i’ve made jokes that are not even on the same level as the kind that the cast themselves make. and i can absolutely make those jokes while still being disgusted by Actual Shipping.

3. wow you went for a triple fucking whammy here of Discourse I’m Fucking Sick Of! first of all, are you like. cognizant of the fact that you’re on tumblr dot com dictating the sexuality of a stranger??? get a hobby. second, i am a lesbian. i’m not “calling myself a lesbian” i am a lesbian. thirsting over one (1) man who is famous and unattainable is not the same as being attracted to men. i made this blog when i thought i was bisexual (and established my reputation as tumblr user glirsty so that’s why i haven’t changed it asshole) and it’s because of people like you that it took me so long and so much struggle to realize i was a lesbian. third, my sexuality is none of your goddamn business anyway.

if i really bother you enough that you think it’s totally reasonable to compare me to mac, you should probably just block me.

[lesbianfreyja]

@glirsty i made you something to show to all your lesbian dee haters 8-)

[redwine-house]

The Gang Gets Gay (Mac x Dennis) (Dee x Female!OC)

Summary:  Mac has come out and Dennis has had it up to here with his unconventional research into gay culture. Desperate to put an end to the insanity, Dennis looks to the gang for help. Their scheme is ridiculous, but it reveals parts of themselves they have buried deep down.

(Masterlist)

(Ao3)

Words: 1,546

Dennis hovered behind the door of his room, chewing one of his perfectly manicured nails. He would have to get them redone and yeah, the hot stone organic manicure at the Coco Blue Nail salon cost twenty-five dollars – but it was worth it. Not only did his nail beds look absolutely fantastic, but he left the place with reduced fatigue, soothed nerves, and incredible circulation in his fingers.

Running his tongue over his well moisturized lips – Sugar Fresh Lip Treatment- Dennis slipped his hand into his pants pocket. Grabbing his phone, he pulled up his contacts and jabbed one of the two other numbers in his phone. It rang twice before the line was picked up.

“Charlie?” Dennis retreated into his room, closing the door.

“No!” the voice over the phone grunted. “It’s Frank!”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Frank? What-put Charlie on!” Great. This is exactly what he needed – the ugly toad man weaseling his way into this conundrum in an attempt to gain back his younger years.

“Can’t.”

Grinding his teeth, Dennis put a hand to his forehead. “Why not?”

A sizzling sound crackled through the speaker. “It’s a long story-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Dennis moaned.

Frank ignored him. “I wanted scrambled eggs for breakfast, but Charlie broke the frying pan ‘cause he used it to chase a bunch of cats off last night.” His Brooklyn accent made his friend’s name come out as ‘Cha-lee.’

“And why would he do that?”

“Well, we were under the bridge and found a box of DVDs. One of them was about that long hair broad. She fought things off with a pan or something. I don’t really know the plot, I was high off my balls!”

Dennis held the phone away at Frank’s delighted cackle. “So let me get this straight: Charlie, broke your frying pan because he was solving your cat problem based off of what you saw in a Disney movie?”

Frank cackled again as another sizzle came through the speaker. “Don’t get mad at me! I told him it was stupid.”

Dennis narrowed his eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Cookin’ eggs!”

Throwing arm out, Dennis sputtered. “You don’t have-” Realizing he had been shouting, he hunched over and lowered his voice to a whisper. “You don’t have a frying pan, you imbecile!”

“I’m cookin’ it directly on the hotplate! That’s how Charlie burned his hand.”

“Why would you be doing something that burned Charlie’s hand?” Dennis clenched his fist, a vein in his forehead popping at the sheer stupidity of his friends.

There was a faint whoosh before Frank yelled, “Oh, shit! It’s on fire!”

“Just bring Charlie over here okay?” Dennis shouted before smashing his finger against his phone’s screen. Closing his eyes, Dennis let out a measured breath. He needed to have full, perfect control over every aspect of his body. He had to lower his pulse rate – stress was terrible and gave you grey hairs.

A knock made him jump. “Hey, Dennis?”

“Yeah, man?”

“You okay? I heard you shouting and I, uh-” Mac sounded anxious, as he tended to be whenever he thought one of his friends was in trouble.

Dennis put a hand on his hip, not moving to open the door. “I’m fine, dude. Go back to watching your…movies.”

“Okay…cool.” The creak of the hardwood floor told Dennis his dejected buddy had retreated back to the living room.

Dennis’ phone buzzed. Squinting his eyes, he read the text message.

I’m ok

Only burned my hair. L.O.L.

Lost the eggs

Bringing Charlie over

Frank

With a huff Dennis shoved his phone back into his pocket. “Ugly bald asshole,” he muttered before gathering himself. When he thought he had the strength to deal with the situation that lay just outside of his door, Dennis stepped out of his room.

Mac looked over his shoulder. “Dennis! Perfect timing, bro!” He jumped from his spot on the couch and flew across the room, barely able to contain his excitement. “I got us both notebooks and pens because I realized that we can’t fully analyze something if we don’t write it down. You know, kind of like movie critics!"

Dennis batted the notebook away, sending the items flying across the room. As the pens clattered to the floor, Mac deflated. “I’m not going to sit here and-and annotate…that!” Dennis threw his hand towards the TV.

Mac cocked his head, squinting an eye. “Why?” Before Dennis could answer, his friend snorted and rolled his eyes. “Is it a gay thing?”

“For the love of Christ, it’s not a gay thing! It’s an assault to common decency thing!” Placing a hand on the couch, Dennis massaged the bridge of his nose. After a moment, he looked up with a smile plastered across his face. “You know what? Forget it.”

Mac may be his best friend but goddamn, he could be dense. Before Mac could get another word in, Dennis was saved by a knock on the door.

“Who’s that?”

“Don’t worry about,” Dennis answered hurriedly, already halfway across the room. “Go back to doing your thing.”

Dennis’ heart had slowly begun to settle back into its normal rhythm. This knock meant things were soon going to go back to normal, where he could manage and represent himself in the perfect fashion. They would come up with a plan – as they always did – and this nightmare would be over.

Curling his fingers around the doorknob, Dennis opened the door. “Oh, Christ.” Huddled in the hallway stood Frank, Charlie and…Dee. “What is she doing here?” he demanded, his voice going up an octave.

His twin sister narrowed her eyes. “Frank tricked me into putting out the fire in Charlie’s apartment.”

“We couldn’t get rid of her,” Frank gargled through a mouthful of half cooked scrambled eggs he greedily scooped from a dirty plate. The right side of Frank’s head was covered in soot, his hair reduced to only stubble.

“Give me some of those eggs, Frank!” Charlie shouted, reaching over with his injured hand. The fool had it wrapped up with newspaper and a tied up sock.

“Back off!” Frank snapped, whacking Charlie’s hand with his fork, causing the man to yelp. “I made the eggs. I get to eat ‘em!”

Dennis opened his arms. “Those aren’t even cooked! You’re going to die!”

Charlie shook his head. “Nah, dude - Frank has a stomach of steal. I’ve seen him eat raw meat before and he was fine. It’s amazing, really.”

“No, it’s absolutely not!” Dennis’ voice cracked.

“What compels you to eat raw meat?” Dee asked with a grimace, crossing her arms.

Dennis shook his head. This conversation was going absolutely nowhere and bordering on the realm of insanity. “Just get inside.”

As the gang crowded into their apartment, Dee looked to the living room and her blue eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”

Frank choked on a mouthful of eggs. “Is this why we’re here? Because I am not into that.”

Dennis nodded. “Yeah.” He opened his bedroom door and began to usher everyone inside.

Mac watched as everyone trudged along. “Hey, guys. What’s going on?”

Dennis smiled. “Oh, we’re just going to talk about a few things. We’ll be out in a minute.”

“Can I come?”

“Sure. We’ll finish up and then you can come.” Dennis shut the door with a resounding click.

Mac turned back around. “But that means you’ll be done,” he murmured.

With wild eyes Dennis looked at his friends. “So the gay porn-”

“The gay porn,” everyone sighed, nodding in understanding.

Dennis didn’t even know where to begin. “It’s been going on none stop for…days.” He touched his hands to his chest. “I like to think of myself as a tolerant man, but I can only handle so many sweaty balls.”

Dee nodded. “That’s no intolerant. It’s just a ball thing.”

Frank held up his fork as he looked at each of his friends. “The only balls I can handle are my own.”

“Dude, I’ve seen your balls and I don’t even know how you can handle those,” Charlie drawled from his spot on the bed.

The conversation was already getting away from the subject at hand, as it usually did. Letting out a puff of breath, Dennis shook his head. “Guys, if we don’t do something, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. He wants me to sit down and study it with him. He wants to learn how to be gay from porn! The guy just handed me a notebook right before you walked in!” His voice was getting shrill and usually he would feel self-conscious, but it was desperate times.

Dee shook her head. “I just don’t know what we can do. I mean, that is messed up.”

“Look,” Dennis began, “he obviously knows nothing about gay culture or how to conduct himself. He’s literally lived a closeted life of religious self-loathing. We have to get him out there. He has to meet people, go to more gay clubs. Learn history. As an erotic man, I’m very familiar with all of these things, straight or not.”

Frank narrowed his eyes suspiciously and took a step towards Dennis. “What do you propose we do?”

“What I’m saying,” Dennis began slowly, “is that we have to get gay.”

---

After seeing all of the hate @glirsty got for hc lesbian Dee, I wanted to write an entire story including it in a plot

[nerdynikki94]

Did anybody else say Mommy when the Waitress kicked that bag?

no...?

just me?

[lesbianfreyja]

I'm pretty much a lesbian but when I started watching sunny I became obsessed with Glennis. then I went searching online and HOW THE FUCK IS THERE A COMMUNITY OF LESBIANS WHO ARE INEXPLICABLY ATTRACTED TO HIM???? the simulation is strong on this one

welcome to glesbianism sorry to hear that youre sick, the more terminal cases are still glirsty in s12 but if you’re only usually-to-occasionally glirsty (like me) then you might have a chance but you have to kill whoever infected you. good luck xo

[macden]

lexi i️ want u to know i️ support ur new url and i️ refuse to glirst shame i’m a lesbian and i’m still a little glirsty

thank u i appreciate my glesbian supporters