#god I might try to summon elm too

[yeyayeya]

This is the only good thing about this banner for not giving us NY! Ranulf

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

Stranger Things Demon AU, Fade to Black

"And you're saying this is for a campaign?" Mike eyed the weird book pages laid out across their lunch table. Max was looking over the page in her hands, looking away occasionally to scribble something down in her notebook.

"Yeah. Eddie just really wants this to be authentic!" The metalhead was conspicuously absent from the table and school all together that day.

"Don't know how authentic it can be if you can't even summon a demon with it." Mike spoke and Dustin kept his mouth shut. Max was the only one besides him who knew Steve was a demon and he'd promised Eddie to not tell anyone else. Lucas was too busy with the basketball team to question everything making this significantly easier. This left the curly haired freshman and Max to try and find a back up in case the blood moon ceremony didn't work.

"You find anything?" He leaned over the table to take a peek at Max's translations. The redhead waved her hand to make Dustin back up.

"If I'm reading this right, it says that a soul can be redeemed through sacrifice but it's doesn't explain what that exactly means."

"Well keep looking!"

"It might be easier to work if you weren't hovering!" Max snapped.

"I'm not hovering!"

"Yes you are-" Their fight was cut off by the bell ringing to let them know lunch was over. "Ugh." Max groaned as she and Dustin gathered up the pages and left with the rest of the crowd. Neither noticed the page they left behind as it fell to the floor. Nor the cheerleader who leaned down to pick it. The girl reading it over before quickly pocketing it and following her fellow students.

~~

"Are you sure you should be skipping school? I thought you said you wanted to graduate this year." The spot in the woods Eddie led Steve to was quiet. It was the same place they'd met the metalhead's friend but without anyone else there it felt different. Calmer. Exactly what Eddie needed for the overwhelming headache. The Prairie Oyster helped jolt him awake but he still felt like shit.

"I do, I'll just copy Jeff's notes." Eddie winced at the sunlight shining in his face. "I can't go to school like this. I'll just get detention and they'll call Wayne again." Turning past the large knotted elm tree, that came to a small clearing. Kneeling down, Eddie fell back to the ground with a thump before letting himself lie on the ground. Steve stared down at him with a look of bewilderment.

"What are you doing?"

"Relaxing. What does it look like?" Eddie patted the dirt next too him. "Come on, you can mess up your perfect hair this once."

"You sure you want me to sit next to you?" Steve asked as he squatted down next to Eddie. The highschooler staring him for a moment before grabbing his polo and pulling him down to the ground. The demon fell flat back on his back next to a smirking Eddie. "Eugh, I just bought this shirt."

"With my money." Eddie reminded him. The smirk fading at her flopped over and looked up at the sky. Steve did the same, coming face to face with a cloudy sky. "Listen...about last night...I have to thank you."

"For what?"

"Actually helping me? You didn't have to do that."

"You're my friend." Steve said. "I'd never let that kind of shit happen to you."

"So we're friends now?" Eddie asked.

"I guess." Steve shrugged. "You're like a fungus."

"Fungus?"

"You grew on me." Steve smiled as Eddie snorted audibly.

"Oh my God, that's terrible." Eddie laughed. "You're too good to be a demon." Steve made a face at that statement.

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what I did when I was alive."

"What? You kill someone?" Eddie asked jokingly. Steve fell silent.

"Something like that." Steve mumbled.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Shit dude, sorry I asked." Eddie apologized and an awkward silence fell over the two. The metalhead struggling for something to say as he eyed the other young man. "You...want to talk about it?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"I don't know, might help you feel better about it or something. No offense but you don't look like the type of guy who actually got help for this kind of thing." Eddie eyed Steve as the demon hesitated for a moment. Sitting up on the ground, Eddie adjusted to face the Steve when he took a deep breathe.

"I...I wasn't a good person when I was alive." The demon clenched his jaw. "I was a total asshole. Mr nickname in highschool was "King Steve" because I did whatever I wanted. I was rich, I had a girlfriend, I was a star basketball player...I literally had everything someone could want." Eddie watched Steve pause. "I made fun of guys like you in highschool."

"Yeah, kind of figured that out already. You dress the part." Steve shot the metalhead a look.

"It was my senior year and I threw a graduation party at my place. We invited this one girl no one talked to, her names was Barb Holland. Everyone knew inviting her was a joke. But then she actually showed up." Steve covered his mouth as he struggled for what to say. "We played a joke on her. Got her super drunk and played seven minutes in heaven. Made her think I wanted to kiss her and then we all laughed at her when she realized she was making out with some random freshman...." Steve trailed off. "God it was so fucked up and then she ran away. None of us went after her. Turns out she stumbled in our pool and drowned. If I just went after her-fuck, if we didn't pull that stupid prank she'd still be alive."

"...shit. Dude that's...fuck..." Eddie wasn't sure what to say.

"Then I died the next day. Karma at work." Steve pulled his legs up to his chest. "I'm not a good person."

"Steve." Eddie moved to sit next towards the demon. Steve had tears streaming down his face. "Listen-what you did was messed up. But people fuck up all the time. What matters is that you're trying to change." Steve didn't say anything but it was clear he wasn't sure about what Eddie said. "You're still my friend." He thought about leaning in but instead he made a joke. "Hope you know though, now that I know about that nickname, from now on I shall only call you King Steve."

This managed to bring a small smile to the demon as he wiped his face.

"You wouldn't." Steve watched Eddie stand up before taking a bow in front of him.

"But of course I would my dear King Steve." Eddie held his hand out to Steve. "And for your valiant deeds I shall entreat you to the best food I can afford. Which happens to be Burger King. Ironically."

"You know you're lucky I won't turn down free food." Steve grinned as Eddie pulled him up into a standing position. The demon stumbling slightly are he did so and ending up way too close to Eddie's face. But Eddie didn't move, allowing the two stare at each other. This time Eddie didn't stop himself as he leaned in for a kiss. Steve didn't stop him and moved in. Their lips meeting in a slow embrace. Eddie moving his hands on either side on Steve's head and pulled him closer. Closing his eyes as Steve's tongue met his and for just a moment, everything was perfect.

[ill-skillsgard]

Another goth out here - Can I ask for hc's of all the Bill boys you write for with a goth girl, please?

Why, yes! I’d love to. After all... Everyone needs a cute goth GF, right? You know it’s true.

Axel Cluney

He steals her fishnets. They just look good on him. Axel likes to show some skin and he’s not a fan of real shirts. Only garments with holes in them, and she happens to have a lot of those. Axel will convince her to do a clothing swap with him until she gets fed up sacrificing her clothes and brings him to a goth market where he can buy his own stuff.

They compare tattoos. She has some meaningful and dark tattoos and Axel is covered in ink he let his friend put on him as “practice”...That friend is now in jail tattooing convicts, but Axel insists they’re not prison tats.

He shows her new music. Everything she loves, Axel loved when he was a  kid, and makes it a point to remind her of his refined taste by bringing her mix CDs which she can’t play because who even owns a CD-player anymore? (He buys her one from the local pawn shop so they can listen to Smashing Pumpkins together.)

Axel contemplates dying his hair black. He loves hers, so why not his?

Roman Godfrey

She has a crush on him first, thinking he’s the closest thing to the local “goth” boy, then realizes he’s not goth at all. She might think he’s a poser. After much back and forth, she decides he’s just a fashion guy, but he already has his sights set on her. He wears all the black in his closet and then buys more to assimilate.

Roman’s idea of a first date is bringing her to a forest where he smokes cigarettes and talks about being an outcast. She makes fun of him only a little bit, then steals his scarf. He lets her keep it, saying it looks better on her anyway.

He asks her if she knows any witchcraft or spells; if she believes in spirits and all that. It surprises her to hear these questions and she answers, “why? You wanna put a hex on someone?”

Roman has found a match for his attitude. He thought he was the world’s biggest brat until he meets her. It’s a huge turn-on for him to have a girl that doesn’t put up with bullshit.

Henry Deaver

She scares him. Like a lot. But it’s hot...Right? He doesn’t know if she hates him or not, but he’ll find out once he summons the courage to talk to her.

He’s wildly afraid of coming off as unimpressive, but he doesn’t know what these kinds of girls like. So he buys up a bunch of old-school horror movies, some of them truly god-awful, and hopes she’ll want to watch one of them. Oh, and he has to keep the lights on, and no, he won’t explain why. He just likes to watch movies with the light on. Yes, there’s a glare on the screen, and no, it doesn’t bother him.

She figures out Henry is jumpy and will lurk in the shadows to pop out at him at any chance. He screams and clutches his chest the first couple of times, then spends the rest of their time together peering around corners and assessing where she is at all times.

He will not make the first move. She kisses him first, under a full moon, and Henry practically melts.

The Kid

He’s the only man that kind of freaks her out. He’s tall, dark, quiet, and not in the typecast way. This guy looks like a dead tree. He kind of sits there all stiff and wide-eyed like ghosts are talking to him. Until he cracks his first gentle smile, she’s not even sure he has a pulse.

The Kid knows all the best scary movies, and we’re not talking Friday the  Thirteenth and A Nightmare on Elm Street. He has a stash of the freakiest underground film that makes even her feel uncomfortable watching, and she grew up on this shit.

She likes to wear dark lipstick, and he’s the only one who doesn’t make snide or “clever” comments. He likes the way she dresses and does herself up. It reminds him of a little porcelain doll. A cursed doll, but cute nonetheless.

To her surprise, he kisses her first. He’s not the most vocal guy, but he can read body language, and he knows it’s the right time. When he pulls away, the smile on her face turns his icy insides to liquid.

Henry Pearl

They meet at a midnight art showing in the middle of the town’s square. Her booth is set up with her spooky dolls and sinister paintings, sculptures and metaphysical crafts of bone and crystals. Henry gravitates toward her when he hears people whispering about her weird art.

She begs him to teach her some painting techniques, as she’s intrigued by his skill, and he obliges, but only later at night.

He makes her breakfast at night, explaining that nine PM is the perfect time for pancakes. She doesn’t mind since she’s a night owl by nature.

After they see each other for a few weeks, Henry paints a portrait of her and gets his first kiss as a result. It rocks his entire world. After the kiss, all he ever wants to paint is her face.

Mickey

He tries a little too hard to get her attention at first. She doesn’t know whether she finds him pathetic or if it’s kiiinda cute how he follows her around like a puppy.

They bond over music one day in Mickey’s car, which is NOT the car she first saw him driving. He lights up when metal plays, croons to power ballads, gets emotional over the break-up songs. She can see he’s a genuine dude who wears his emotions on his sleeve.

Mickey brings her flowers he stole from various gardens. He had a vision of buying her a bouquet of black roses, but they wanted 60 bucks at the store, so he improvises by prowling the garden district with a pair of shears.

Her black collars excite him. He asks if they mean anything or if they’re just fashion. She teases him and tells him if he wants to find out, he’ll have to prove himself. So he spends the rest of the week acting like the perfect boyfriend, though they’re not “official”, they are in his mind and he doesn’t have eyes for anyone else.

Merkel

Maybe the only guy who might be more goth than her. He likes black, wearing make-up and knows all the best underground clubs where they play dark industrial and everyone dresses like her.

He asks if he can dress her one day. To her surprise, Merkel has trunks of clothes he’s taken from fashion shoots. He styles her and stages his own photoshoot with her as his muse. The pictures are strikingly editorial, and she has the best time.

Merkel talks about hanging out with all her idols. She listens with heart-eyes and a smile to rival a sunrise to the stories of Gordon’s travels through Europe.

Invites her over to his place one night for wine and black-and-white movies, but all she wants to do is check out his handcuff collection and put them to use. With a coy look, he escorts her to his studio apartment, asking, “do you have your own safeword, or should we decide on one now?”

Willard Russell

He doesn’t understand all the black, but he wants to because he thinks she looks beautiful. He’s never seen a girl like her before. Maybe she’s an angel, maybe she’s the opposite... All Willard knows is he wants to talk to her.

She understands his melancholy, and he doesn’t feel like he needs to put on a happy mask when she’s around. It’s a breath of fresh air to feel like he can be himself in front of someone who doesn’t try to change him.

Her intelligence baffles him, and she doesn’t speak like the folks he grew up with. She’s different in every way, and he falls in love with her quickly.

Willard makes her a tree swing in the forest where they like to go to be alone. She finds this incredibly sweet and kisses him on the cheek before taking a seat on the wooden plank. His skin heats from where her lips touched, and he spends the rest of the evening with her in a lovestruck daze.

[waitingtobelit]

Title: This Is Halloween

Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester, Jack Kline

Rating: R for less explicit/more implied sexual content.

Summary:  Dean laughs, knocking against Cas’ shoulder in the process. “That’s the beauty of these movies, man,” he says, smiling through a face full of chocolate. “Watching people make poor life choices and not having to be responsible for any of it.”

Or: Dean and Cas stay in on Halloween. 1787 words.

Notes: Look, I'm still in pain from 15x03 so here's some shameless fluff set in an AU of season 13, based on 14x04, "Mint Condition." Rated R for vaguely sexual content.Any errors/mistakes are entirely my own, and any and all feedback is always appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don’t anything regarding Supernatural or any of its characters. This was written purely for recreational purposes, and no profit is being made from this. I also don’t own "This Is Halloween” from The Nightmare Before Christmas, some of the lyrics being part of the source of inspiration for this particular story.

You can also find this piece at AO3 here:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407789/chapters/50711036

"In this town we call home Everyone hail to the pumpkin song In this town, don't we love it now? Everybody's waiting for the next surprise." -"This Is Halloween" from Nightmare Before Christmas

---

Halloween tends to be fairly quiet for them, all things considered. With exceptions, of course, but, overall, October 31st tends to be a night that the Winchesters can lay low and recharge. Which is good this year, because Dean could use the distraction from the Apocalypse World and thinking too much on how he lost his mom. Again.

Sam is currently educating Jack about the wonders of the holiday; hell, Dean can’t remember if Sam said he would at least try showing the kid what trick or treating is. Regardless, Sam and Jack are out for the night, leaving Cas in the bunker library (or so he was last Dean heard from him) and Dean alone in his room, sprawled out across his bed, arms and chin resting on a pillow next to a big old pile of candy he stockpiled earlier this morning, a partially empty bottle of whiskey, and a marathon on Shocker of all his favorites; currently, Hell Hazers 2: The Reckoning is playing, and Dean has to smile, recalling his and Sam’s adventure on that particular set all of those years ago. (He’s sometimes tempted to make fake business cards and/or ids with ‘one hell of a PA!’ embossed on them but he never actually follows through. Still something to think about, though.)

He’s enjoying the cheese of it all with a handful of Snickers and a gulp of whiskey a little more expensive than he usually indulges in (self-care, he’ll tell Sam later, when he inevitably bitches about the cost of it and the fact that Dean shared none of it with him), when a knock echoes at the door, followed by Cas walking in.

“Hello Dean,” the angel says, tilting his head as he observes Dean from his position by the door. Dean turns, and, God, he’s never been so relieved to be able to lay eyes on Cas in his life. Perhaps it’s just the whiskey talking (that, or his long-buried feelings finally clawing their way to the surface), but Cas seems to especially glow in the mixed lighting of the lamp and the television, leaning against the doorframe. (And he hasn’t drunk that much tonight; he’s still on his first glass, his traitorous inner voice tells him. That voice which, unfortunately, sounds too much like Sammy with a knowing smirk on his face.)

“Hey, Cas, what’s up?” Dean asks, the gory happenings on the television echoing behind him. He remains sprawled as ever across his bed, and perhaps he’s only imagining it but Cas’ gaze seems to travel from his head to his toes. Goosebumps and warmth swirl with the whiskey running through his system, and he shifts a little on the bed.

“What are you watching?” Cas asks, directing his attention towards the television with a frown, his nose wrinkling, and goddamn if Dean’s heart doesn’t flutter just at the sight of it. He grins, and he tells himself the heat rushing to his face is from the alcohol, despite the fact that it takes a whole hell of a lot more than one glass of whiskey to get him anywhere even close to drunk, let alone buzzed.

“Horror marathon,” he says simply. “All day and all night. We don’t have a case, so seems like a good way to kill time, given what day it is.”

Cas’ frown seems to deepen, and he tilts his head once again. “I don’t understand. Isn’t your life already a horror movie? Several horror movies,” he amends fairly quickly.

Dean laughs, tossing his head back again, and he feels Cas’ gaze linger on his exposed throat. He stuffs a 3 Musketeers bar in his mouth to keep from thinking too much.

“Yeah, that’s what Sam always says,” he answers with a shrug, swallowing the chocolate. “But I’ve always enjoyed these kinds of movies; they’re easy enough to check out to, you know?”

Cas says nothing for a few minutes, standing still and observing in that same quiet, dignified manner as when he and Dean first met all of those years ago. Nearly a decade ago, actually, which is strange to think about. (Although not nearly as strange as the fact that Dean can, in fact, trace all of those deeply rooted and deeply covered feelings back nearly as long.)

Dean’s glance falls to the candy next to him, face still warm, as he begins to feel the weight of every piece of chocolate eaten and every unspoken word in the lingering silence.

He’s about to make a smartass reply when Cas is suddenly next to him, gesturing towards the television.

“Would you mind if I joined you?” He asks, a small smile on his face, a face framed by soft stubble and blue eyes. Dean swallows again, despite the fact that he has no food in his mouth.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he says, moving the candy and whiskey out of the way, and shifting slightly right himself, to make room for Cas. He picks up his bravado again, as if he simply dropped it in that staring contest he just had with the angel. “You could use with a good horror education.”

“Thank you,” Cas says simply, nodding his head. He moves to sit on the bed, but Dean shakes his head, patting the mattress with insistence. If they’re going to do this, they’re going to do this right, damn it.

“Nah, come on Cas,” he says, grinning like his old self, before he watched Cas die, again. “If we’re having a slumber party, we’re doing this right.”

“A slumber party? I don’t understand,” Cas says, but the corners of his mouth are twitching upwards as he speaks, and Dean’s whole countenance brightens in response.

“You will,” he insists, as Cas finally maneuvers his bulky, trench coat wearing self next to Dean.

Someone dies on screen, bloody and entirely over the top, killed for having sex by some demon or ghost they summoned from hell. But Dean barely registers this fact as the warmth from Cas’ presence seeps like cigarette smoke throughout the room, and their shoulders brush together. Cas even grabs a piece of chocolate, a Hershey’s bar, despite the fact that Dean knows he can’t taste it.

“Alright, Dean,” Cas says, turning to face Dean with a smile. “Teach me everything.”

And teach him, Dean does, as they make their way through the rest of the Hell Hazers movie and move on to stand alone horror films, going off on various tangents about the manner of deaths and the art of particular actors in each scene, Cas listening intently, as he always does. Dean thinks it’s somewhere halfway through The Shining that their hands meet somewhere above the mountain of candy, curling into one another; it’s the beginning of The Amityville Horror that Dean winds up squeezing Cas’ hand, and Cas squeezes back.

As Nightmare on Elm Street plays, several characters having died bloody already, Cas makes his first observation that isn’t a question. “Some of these people are just asking to die,” he says, and it’s made a thousand times funnier by the deep, gravelly tone of his voice. “I mean, honestly. Who goes off alone in a dark house without even something to use as a weapon?”

Dean laughs, knocking against Cas’ shoulder in the process. “That’s the beauty of these movies, man,” he says, smiling through a face full of chocolate. “Watching people make poor life choices and not having to be responsible for any of it.”

Cas is staring at him again, his blue eyes piercing into Dean like a pair of angel blades. He feels his breath catching in his throat as Cas brings up a hand to wipe away the chocolate smeared against the corner of his lips; he nearly chokes on that same breath when Cas brings that hand against his own mouth, licking it clean while his damn blue eyes remain on Dean, whose gaze keeps flickering between the pink of his lips, the stubble of his chin, and the way Cas’ eyes seem to glow even without the aid of grace.

He doesn’t think, he just moves; Dean has their mouths pressed together in a matter of seconds, and Cas has his hand in Dean’s shirt just as quickly as they both moan and push and pull, their lips slipping and sliding together, tongues entering the fray moments later. The sensation of kissing Cas hits Dean like a shot of whiskey; it shoots throughout his system and nearly knocks him off of the bed, years of repressed want finally breaking through the surface of his skin like lightning. And Dean can taste that same want in the way Cas kisses him back, like a man starved finally stumbling upon a feast; he lets out a moan that would put every single one of his previous slutty moments to shame; a moan like a character in a horror movie about to have sex before they die violently.

Dean is the one who tries to flip them, to press Cas into the mattress. But it’s Cas who actually gets the upper hand, with a knowing, cocky smirk that sends all the heat rising between them directly to Dean’s lower belly. When they part so that Dean breathe, he’s panting heavily for air, glancing up at those blue eyes and what he thinks might be the shadows of Castiel’s wings. Shivers run through him, spiking in the way his hips and stomach shoot upwards and his knees spread open to accompany Cas’ body with his own, a beggar’s prayer.

Cas is still smirking when he leans down, mouth pressed directly against Dean’s ear. His hands move to gather both of Dean’s together, pressing them above his head and into the pillows like rope. Dean keeps trying to catch his breath and failing; his mouth keeps trying to form words and failing.

“If we’re going to do this,” Cas says, all Angel of the Lord as he lowers his body to press right up against Dean, “we’re going to do it right.” He rolls his hips sharply downwards, and Dean writhes, Cas’ name unfurling on his tongue like a candy bar wrapper.

The rest of the night passes in a flurry of limbs, mouths, bodies, and extremely creative (and inappropriate) uses of Halloween candy.

On the television screen, a man dies, sucked into and chewed up by his own bed.

Elsewhere in the bunker, Sam and Jack arrive home just in time to discover that the bunker’s walls, even with all of their warding, really aren’t as soundproof as they seem, and Sam grabs himself a whiskey as he sits down to try and explain the birds and the bees to Jack.

[allhallows-art]

WRITING REQUESTS

So, I’ve decided to redo this shit I did a while back. A long time ago, I compiled a huge list of AU’s and I’ve decided to repost it. If you want a bit of writing done for the following people:

SuperMega Game Grumps Markiplier ( and crew including Tyler and Ethan ) HatFilms Sidemen Cow Chop CancerCrew Then all you have to do is pick from the list below, send the number to me along with who you want it to be about. I’ll try and get through them as soon as I can. They’ll probably all be shit and jokey bc that’s my writing style but I hope you enjoy Thanks to @apocalypto-12​ for rekindling my love for writing and feel free to pick some Au’s and I'll write them for you babe

1. ‘my parents are rly religious and forced me to this meeting I hate everything the entire world is against me what the actual fuck did a stranger just send me nudes’ 2. I’m passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I must shove it down your throat 3. all our friends are drunk 4. it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost 5. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances 6. You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf 7. I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today 8. my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me 9. it’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay 10. you’re the fucker who set off the fire alarm with your awful cooking (or) I’m the fucker who set off the fire alarm with my awful cooking 11. dude your headphones are loud like I can make out most of Kayne’s lyrics and I’m sitting across the fucking room 12. you live above me and I’m going to murder you if you don’t stop throwing parties Sunday night 13. ‘me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for Halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbours called the police to investigate screams’ 14. I broke your nose at a mosh pit 15. “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” 16. “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” 17. “You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks 18. “My cat steals underwear and I come home to find you chasing my cat to get your underwear back.” 19. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh, shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry.” 20. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.” 21. “I thought you were my friend so I slapped your ass in greeting.” 22. “I’m watching The Lion King on my phone and I’m trying to hide the fact I’m sobbing uncontrollably but you notice anyway.” 23. cat person and dog person meet at petco and their pets won’t stop hissing and growling at each other 24. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust 25. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me 26. ‘I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when I asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night’ 27. 'last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us’ 28. 'i found you sleeping on my balcony when I went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we’re eighteen floors up’ 29. ‘I called the wrong number and started talking about my life and you only interrupted me after a few a few minutes of me revealing some pretty personal stuff and now your invested in my life troubles’ 30. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last person’s apartment together’ 31. ‘I’ve had a really awful day so I started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car I’m so sorry’ 32. I always see you doing weird shit at ridiculous hours of the night and it makes me feel better because I do weird shit in the middle of the night too 33. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else." 34. “So why did I have to punch that guy?” 35. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.” 36. "That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.” 37. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?” 38. “You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen.” 39. I asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again 40. “I’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually never mind I agree, that shirt is horrendous” 41. “You’re drunk and walked into the wrong apartment and fell asleep on my couch oh god you’re going to be so confused in the morning” 42. “I’m at work and my son needs to be picked up from school do you mind?” 43. “Okay well it turns out you’re really good with kids and my son has started calling you daddy and insists we move in so ‘we can be a real family’” 44. “Our dogs whine whenever they’re apart so we spend pretty much every day together” 45. “I walked in on your ex yelling at you so you grabbed me and kissed me so she’d go away and I’m kind of freaked out I literally just met you last week” 46. I’m giving out candy for Halloween and you brought your little sibling trick or treating and I think that’s sweet 47. I accidentally egged the wrong house and I’m trying to apologize but it’s one in the morning and you’re pissed off and I’m so sorry 48. “I live below you and I was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW” 49. “our Christmas party turned into a tropical theme because the radiator is broken and it’s hotter than hell in here - damn you look good without a shirt I never noticed before asgdhfjgkhl” 50. You’re allergic to cats but my cat really likes you my bad 51. You caught me having a Barbie movie marathon and now I’m trying to keep you from telling anyone about this! 52. met at a family reunion but not related to each other 53. your kid hates my kid 54. Accidentally “parkoured” through your window and I must pay you back but I’m dead broke 55. It’s a rainy day and I see you get side-splashed by a car and I’m laughing so hard until I get hit too 56. Drunkenly sold my soul to a demon and now I’m their bitch but this might be not so bad 57. Work at the same shitty restaurant and have all the same shitty shift times 58. 'What the fuck are you doing its midnight why are you playing 'My Heart Will Go On' on the piano' 59. “I came up to your apartment to ask you to turn down your music and have quieter sex, but it turns out that you’ve just been jumping up and down on your bed in your underwear listening to music alone 60. 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ (other old boybands can be substituted) 61. 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD 62. you’re the drummer for my brother’s band and I find you hot (bonus: the band is really shit and the drummer doesn't want to be there so uses the other person as an excuse to get out of practice) 63. we go to the same coffee shop every evening to do homework but we never speak to each other until today 64. I’m only your friend because we smoke weed and get high together 65.

66. “I want to blame my young child from accidentally breaking your window with a baseball, but it actually was in fact me, and I was aiming for your roof I am sorry 67. we have apartments next to each other and sometimes you’re blasting shitty music but other times you’re jerking off and that’s even louder than the music please quite down 68. “I’m a biker and one day I was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute I accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” 69. “I’m at a karaoke bar and I’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit" 70. “it’s 2 in the morning and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping” 71. “you can’t get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we’ll talk" 72. ‘I walked into the public bathroom at a mcdonalds and you’re dangling halfway out of an air vent do I even want to know what you were doing’ 73. ‘I found you on the roof of my house passed out with a black eye holding a fire extinguisher’ 74. I accidentally texted the wrong number with a cat meme and you replied back with a different one unexpectedly and we just kept going ‘till I was convinced I would marry you 75. I’m best friends with your brother and when we were face-chatting you walked past in your boxers and bent over to pick something up and I tried averting my eyes but that ass 76. Detective partners 77. Reincarnation 78. Childhood friends with adjoining houses/rooms 79. This is the end of the world and we’re all we’ve got 80. I keep calling tech support because you’re helpful and your voice is cute 81. Competitive buskers who eventually for a band 82. Pen pals who vent to each other every week 83. Working at a theatre together during midnight premiere of a blockbuster 84. Meeting while waiting for hours in the a&e 85. Panicked yelling in unison because of lost baggage between connecting flights 86. Book store 87. Reluctant team mates who save the world together 88. Stuck in an airport because our flights were very delayed and it’s like 2am 89. Pretending to be siblings because of reasons 90. Teaming up to rescue respective abducted children 91. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 92. I’m pretending to be your bff bc you look very uncomfortable with that person at the bar 93. New fbi partner is hot 94. You accidentally shipped this weird thing to my apartment 95. Inappropriately timed confessions 96. At a ski lodge somehow got stuck outside in a storm hey look an abandoned cabin logically thinking go inside for warmth 97. Oops friend looks like the only place to sleep in this house is this small twin sized bed guess we are sharing 98. Inappropriately timed proposals 99. Called the wrong number while drunk 100. Hitchhiker 101. Arranged marriage 102. Fallen angel 103. Fashion designer 104. Zombie apocalypse 105. Backpacking across Europe 106. Mermaid 107. Band on tour 108. Small town lovers 109. Ice skaters 110. Dancing partners 111. Singing partners 112. Lawyers/ detectives 113. Writer and editor 114. Photographer and model 115. Stuck in a lift together 116. Phycologist and a patient 117. Partners in crime 118. Dystopian 119. Utopian 120. We both got kicked out of our rooms bc our room mates are hooking up and we are now avoiding each other 121. Laser tag 122. Walked by a rollercoaster and got hit in the head by a shoe 123. Swim team 124. Got mistaken for a celeb by their biggest fan 125. Sorry I set the fire alarm off for like the forty ninth time I tried to cook 126. I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you bc my wolf form is more like a Chihuahua 127. We both tried to rob a bank at the same time 128. Mistaken identity 129. Trapped on a desert island 130. Lab partners 131. Runaway royalty and a confused commoner 132. Android ad human 133. Immortal and non-immortal 134. Detention 135. Time travel 136. Came to the wrong Halloween party 137. Pranked the wrong person 138. Accidentally scared a kid and their adult is angry at me 139. Rival super heroes trying to save the same small town 140. Neighbours who only met because “I cannot get this stupid jar open can you help?” 141. We made a bet at the beginning of laser tag guess who won pay up 142. I’m on the FBIs most wanted for killing a ton of people but dw I just wanna date you bc your face is smoochable and you give me butterflies 143. Life sized version of clue in an old abandoned manor 144. Reunited after surviving zombie apocalypse 145. “are we both robbing the same house?” 146. Kissed them as a distraction to steal their wallet 147. “you know you’re singing out loud to your headphones, right?” 148. “I think my dog likes your dog” 149. Little kids getting way caught up in make believe 150. Lives alone in the woods next to a waterfall finds a confused lost person walking round 151. Fighting a squirrel 152. Spy 153. Private security 154. Angry biologists 155. Historians 156. Crazy cat hoarder and frustrated allergic to cats neighbour 157. Modern royalty 158. Got up at 2am for snacks at the store and found you trying to sleep in the hallway bc your roommates have his fiancée over and I guess I’ll lend you my couch 159. My cat went into your apartment through an open window and likes to piss everywhere and ruin furniture and now your back home from the store and you found me in the middle of your living room but I promise I’m not a burglar 160. Its 3 am and as much as you have a great music taste people are trying to sleep 161. My best friend somehow broke me to and tonight it the season finale of my fav to show and no internet streams are working can I watch it on you to please I promise I’ll go back to my apartment once it’s over 162. “I moved into the apartment next door and its totally haunted crash I crash here tonight” 163. “I may or may not have just robbed a bank and please help me get away I will pay you in sexual favors also cash” 164. “I don’t know you but you were at that party last night and long story short I now have your name tattooed on my ass2 165. “my friends dared me to go on this rollercoaster and now we are at the top and it looks hella scary and hello hot person next to me careful I might puke” 166. You thought you were alone at the bus stop early this morning so you started singing fall out boy loud but your Patrick stump impression could use some work and I’m not afraid to point that out 167. We’re rival up and coming singers and every time one of us releases a song the other covers it to try and make it better. We’re also always trying to out cute each other and top each other but half our fans ship us; our agents use this to their advantage and decide we should do a duet bc it would be popular but now we are in the studio together and I know and I kinda wanna know how your lips feel 168. Help I cannot find my cat and I know its 3 am but me and Neil cat rick Harris would appreciate the help 169. I’m a computer hacker trying to hack government systems but accidentally hacked your computer as you were searching up sex positions and looking at questionable porn 170. I’m a fandom blogger and you’re an aesthetic/fashion blogger and I accidentally followed you through that Tumblr radar thing but you’re too cute to unfollow 171. I sent you one of those ask memes Reponses saying that I would date you but we’ve never talked and you live half way across the world but now you’re interested whoops 172. You started banging on my door at 3 in the morning bc you got the wrong apartment and now I’m inviting you in for tea to bitch about the person you thought lived here 173. Person A accidentally falls in the pond trying to reach something and person B is a bystander who can’t help but laugh 174. Person B must grab person A from falling into the t6raintracks because they did stay behind the yellow line 175. you’re a store clerk and oh no I just spotted my ex can I hide behind your desk thingy 176. We’re neighbors and we’ve never talker but your cat may have gotten my cat pregnant guess we’ll have to raise a kitty family together. 177. A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb n an intense game of Mario kart and now we are sitting next to each other in A&E 178. I tried to rescue you from being robbed but got knocked out and you had to take me to the hospital after getting your wallet stolen 179. I purposefully get your coffee order wrong so you will talk to me again 180. I work at the checkout ad you are clearly not old enough to buy that 181. We are both con artists scamming each other 182. My hamster escaped and I think he went under your door 183. “Hey we hooked up last night and it turns out you’re my child’s teacher” 184. “we are neighbors and every night at 3;14 you start yodeling?? Why?? Is that you yodeling?? Its been two months??” 185. “I woke up this morning to find you in my living room with a goat wearing a poncho who are you?? Why is the goat wearing a poncho?? How did you get the goat here I live on the 12th floor?? 186. “I was playing beer pong with a coin and accidentally threw it in your eye at a party” 187. “okay I get that you’re a good thief and you don’t want to go to jail but I’m the tired af detective sent to catch you I stg if you let me bring you in I can get you a good deal” 188. “We’ve been nothing but friends our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now I think I’m in love with you” 189. “My guitarist quit the night before a gig that could be my bands big break and apparently, you are really good but if you screw this up for us I will hunt you down and slit your throat” 190. “it’s the middle of the night and I’m walking in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s gaining on me and I found a phone booth with a lock on and tried to call my sister but my hand was shaking so now I’ve ended up calling you and I don’t know who you are but please help” 191. They captured you and put you in a room with me because I can suppress other people’s powers so you hate me but I’m just lonely and bored and want to talk to you 192. Esteemed rival chefs who find each other shamelessly buying ramen at 3am 193. “I know it’s the apocalypse but please can we keep this stray dog” 194. We’re at a murder mystery party and I’m sure you’re the killer 195. Your grandma is forward even though we are just friends 196. “We got into a really heated Wii tennis match and the rec and now I wanna bang you” 197. “you are literally the last person I would expect to see at Disneyland but hey wanna ride space mountain” 198. “YOU LIKE GAME OF THRONES TOO?!” 199. “in interviewing you for a newspaper can you please stop flirting with me and we can get coffee afterwards” 200. “we’re enemies by day but league of legends allies by night” 201. Ancient gods 202. Whoops I accidentally summoned a demon 203. Co captains who always argue 204. “I didn’t mean to throw the water balloon at you I meant to hit my friend behind you” 205. There was a food fight and I accidentally threw spaghetti at the scariest kid in school 206. “I happened to glance in your window when you did some air guitar and then you caught me looking” 207. “I live a block away from the pizza place that’s open until 2 am and you’re like always here which is nice because I get to see you but, um is you sleeping here because you’re literally always here” 208. “I swear to god if I hear you taking a shower at 3 in the morning I will fight you, the pipes in this building are right above my room WHY are you taking a shower at THREE IN THE MORNING” 209. 210. “I can literally hear you sneezing through the walls and I bought you some chicken soup because I have exams to study for and your sneezing is seriously distracting” 211. “Im the poor loser you lent your umbrella to yesterday and my cat scratched through the fabric I’m sorry” 212. “we were partnered for this project and both forgot to do it and now have to pull an all nighter at my house” 213. “I came to this Halloween part as Frankenstein and you came as frankenstein’s wife and now everyone thinks we are dates” 214. We’re the only ones at this tiny bus shelter and you’ve been crying for the past ten minutes and id give you privacy but its pouring down with rain outside so “do you want to talk about it?” I guess 215. You’ve just moved into my apartment and I want a drink but you’ve been in the kitchen for an hour and you will judge me for drinking whiskey at noon on a Sunday 216. We’re both in the brass section of the marching band and you won’t stop making ‘horny’ puns 217. You work in construction and I walk by every day to give you a bagel 218. I sit behind you in lecture and bio1102 is not the place to watch porn 219. We were the only idiots who showed up to ballroom dance class without a partner 220. We are in class and you keep throwing paper balls at me why 221. Its 2am and I’m knocking on your window, wake up let’s go on a late-night walk or something idk can we hold hands already 222. Our kids got paired up for a project and I meant just drop my kid off at your house but now we are at the end of a three hour talk 223. Battle of the bands 224. Our grandparents are in the same nursing home and hate each other whereas we don’t. 225. Arrested at the same protest 226. How do you keep getting my name that wrong on my coffee cup? 227. Only two people who bought tickets to this movie 228. Our manager is making us push this crappy item no one needs but you thought my campaigns was funny so you bought it 229. I desperately need you to fix my laptop but please don’t judge me for my browser history 230. My kid’s hamster died while she was at school and I don’t know how to tell her 231. I made a dumb science joke in class and you’re the only one who laughed 232. Everyone in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu and hear you coughing pathetically from the next room wanna share my stash of cough drops and have Netflix marathon 233. Got into a seriously heated argument in the comments of a mutual friends post 234. Rival street performers 235. My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her right back to apologies 236. Why didn’t you tell me this place was haunted before I rented it from you? 237. My band plays at the same restraint every Friday and you always make obscure requests and I know you’re trying to stump me but you have rally underestimated how much of a music geek I am 238. m the caterer and you’re the florist for this wedding and we bond over talking about how bad of a person the bride’s mother is 239. We’re chaperoning these kids at an ice skating rink and that last couples skate was pathetic how about we show them how it’s done? 240. We both work at rivalling gossip magazines and keep trying to outdo each other ridiculous stories 241. I accidentally caught the neighbor’s yard on fire and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and probably thinks I’m an idiot 242. I didn’t mean to get you arrested I thought I was helping 243. Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings 244. Graffiti artist/ mural painter 245. You’re the only major film critic who’s hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree