#god it was hell trying to refind this lol

[xeunoais]

Remember

(A/N: the idea for this randomly while i was eating breakfast the other day so here i am lol!! i hope you enjoy this!)

Summary: You got into a car accident on your way to the studio where Shawn was. And it was bad enough to where you were put into a coma. And if Shawn had learned anything from this, it was that, you don’t know what you truly have and how much it means to you until you lose it.

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I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out the small diamond ring. I looked at the ring and then at the love of my life. Laying there in that hospital bed, almost lifeless.

I sat up in my chair. Still looking at her. I reached up slowly and grabbed her hand gently, rubbing my thumb up and down on the back of it.

With one more look at the ring in my other hand, I looked at back at her. I lifted her hand up and slid the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit. It looked so good on her too. It was meant to be her’s. On her finger.

My hand picked hers up back off the pillow and gently held it again. I looked at her, thinking about her as my fiancé.

“I know this isn’t the best time to do this. But the past few days, I haven’t been able to shake this. You’ve always said that you don’t know how much something truly means to you until you might lose it.” I paused, taking a deep breath.

“And baby, these past few days, I could be losing you. I can’t lose you. You are my world. The reason I wake up everyday. You are going to be my wife one day. God, you will make the most gorgeous bride. And you are going to be the mother of our children.” I stopped as I felt tears run down my cheeks.

“I bought this ring when I was on tour. The same day that you actually left to go back home after you visited. Brian, Connor and I had gone out on a walk. And we passed this ring shop. I don’t know what made me do it but I walked inside and the found this one.” I said as I ran my thumb across it.

“I saw this ring and then knew I had to get it. It had you written all over it. So I did, I bought it. I had it all planned out in my head too. I was gonna come home, and we were going to the diner that your mom and dad met at, and then I was going to ask you.”

More tears fell from my eyes as I thought about that. She always said that if I didn’t propose there, she would tell me no. She said she had dreamt about being proposed to there ever since she was little.

I almost feel a little dumb for doing this now but I can’t help it. I couldn’t wait anymore.

I stood up slowly and stood beside her. I grabbed her other hand, so that was I was holding them both.

“Baby. I need you to wake up. I need you wake up and marry me. Y/n, will you please wake up and marry me?”

I felt a squeeze. And another one. I looked at her hands and felt it again. I started yelling for a doctor or nurse.

Once they came in there they pushed me out of the way. Then before I could even react I was being pushed out of room and the ring was being handed to me.

The door was shut and I stood there watching them surround her bed. Then I saw it, her eyes opened. She was awake and I’m not there.

-

The next she was going to be released tomorrow morning. They wanted to keep her one more night to monitor everything. Make sure that she was fully okay before being sent home.

Everyone came to the hospital again. My family and friends, and all her’s. I didn’t want to be rude but nobody was letting me in there. Nobody was letting me get to my girl. And I was almost to my breaking point.

I spent five days. Five fucking days at this hospital. Sitting by her side, hold her hands, talking to her. Trying absolutely everything I could too help her wake up or just move.

I’m not gonna say that nobody else cares because I know they do. Everyone love Y/n. Absolutely everyone. But nobody stayed by her side like I did. There was not one moment that I left this hospital room.

I was pacing up and down the hallway when her dad approached me. I walked over to him as fast as I could.

“Can I see her now? How is she?” I asked trying to push past him but his arm raised up, and blocked me from walking. I looked at him confused. All I could see was pain in his eyes.

Something wasn’t right here. Something’s wrong and if someone doesn’t tell me something soon, I am going to fucking lose my shit in the middle of this hospital.

“What’s wrong? Why won’t anyone let me in there to see her?” I asked again as I placed my hands on his arm to push it out of my way.

“Shawn. Stop and listen to me.” He said, grabbing at my arm with his other hand.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Let me go see her.” My anger was slowly rising inside of me. I pushed him out of my way and walked into her room.

I saw her for the first time in like 3 hours. My girl was awake. She looked at me with no expression on her face what so ever. What the hell?

“Who are you?” She asked quietly.

“Huh? Baby, its me. Shawn. You know who I am.” I said slowly. What the fuck is going on right now.

Then it hit me. Does she not remember who I am? The doctor said that was a possibility. But he said it wasn’t likely. She seemed genuinely confused when I told her who I was.

Does she really not remember anything?

“Uhmmm, I don’t know a Shawn..” She mumble turning towards her mom with a questioning look on her face, almost asking her if she was supposed to know who I am.

“Shawn, I need to talk to you in the hall. Please.” Her dad said as he walked into the room and placed his hand on my shoulder.

I looked him in the eyes and then back at her. Then I looked at her mom and she nodded to me, telling me to listen to him.

The second I stepped out of the room, I broke. My whole body went numb and I fell into the chair outside the door. My mom rushed to my side and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned into her embrace and cried into her shoulder.

“Mom. This can’t be real. She doesn’t know who I am. She doesn’t re-remember me mom.” I mumbled against her shirt.

“I know honey. Its all gonna be alright.” She tried to reassure me. But I snapped at her words and pushed myself away from her.

“No mom. Its not going to be fucking okay. My girl. The love of my life doesn’t even know who I am. She doesn’t remember me, Mom!” I paused for a second. Slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out the ring. Everyone gasped when the saw it in my hand.

“I proposed to her right before she woke up. I put the ring on her finger and proposed. And then she woke up and I wasn’t allowed to go back and see her for five hours. But the second I do, my worst nightmare comes true. She doesn’t fucking know who I am and everyone keeps pushing me away from her. I should be in there right now telling her who I am, how we met and everything after that. I should be by her side helping her try to remember who I am but nobody is-“

“She’s never going to remember, Shawn. Doctor said its a one in a hundred chance that she will remember who any of her friends or anyone is. She only remembers her family because of when she was little.” Her dad cut me off. I looked at him and titled my head.

“What do you me she’s never going to remember me?” I asked, voice way lower than it just was.

“Shawn. You are a complete stranger to her. And you probably always will be.” Her dad explained.

He’s lying to me. I can see it in his eyes. He’s got that look that in his eyes that she always has whenever she tries to hide something from me.

“So she’s never going to remember who I am, or what we are?”

“No. She’s not. And her mom and I have agreed that’s is best she comes back to the states with us. And gets back on her feet again.” He said to me, lying again.

Her dad wasn’t ever the biggest fan of me. He doesn’t hate me but he doesn’t think I’m the right fit for her. That because I was always on the road, there’s no telling when I could possibly slip up and make a mistake.

I don’t blame him. He just wants what’s best for her. Its just that, I want what’s best for her too. And he chooses to not see that about our relationship. I stopped trying to fight for him to accept what I have with her. And instead just focused on what was more important. Her.

“Okay. I will go back with you all. I will rent an apartment ther-“ I started to say but was cut off again.

“That’s the issue Shawn. We want to bring her back to the states so she’s not around you or in Toronto where she doesn’t remember anything. We want her to go back home with us, where she remembers everything. Where she is comfortable and able to get back on her own two feet at her own time. We want to bring her to the home she knows.” He said slowly

“What? That’s not fair. You can’t do that. You can’t just make me stay away from her. You can’t do that.”

“Yes we can Shawn. And I’m sorry but its whats best for her. She needs time. And if you loved her, you would give it to her.” Her mom said as she walked out of the room.

Her mom and I were closer than her dad and I. Her mom and my mom were best friends. They loved each other. And they would always gush to each other about how we treated each other. How much we loved each other.

But I’ve always known that she wanted more for her daughter. She loved how happy she is with me but she’s always said that I needed to give her girl stability. That I couldn’t go on tour for the rest of my life and expect her to go with me every single time.

“Shawn. I think you need to listen to them, and give her space. Let her refind herself.” My dad said.

I looked my dad in the eyes, how could he say that? Then my eyes went to my moms and she had the same look in her eyes telling me she agreed with him.

I shook my head and looked through the window at the love of my life sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed.

She is supposed to be the woman I marry. The woman that carries my babies. The woman that I grow old with. The woman I get buried next to when my time comes to end on this earth.

But she doesn’t remember who I am. Or what we had. Nothing. I’m a total stranger to her, but to me, I relive three years worth of memories with her. And that’s what hurts the most.

I’m being expected to just be ready to throw away all the memories. To just walk away and give up on her and what her and I have together.

As much as I know, it’s probably whats best for her. The selfish side of me, doesn’t want to let her go. I want to be the one to take her home to out apartment and help her try and remember everything.

But I know that she doesn’t remember me or what we had. And she may never remember because nobody will let her.

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The End

(A/N: i am crying rn. literally sobbing. but anyways i hope you enjoyed this. feedback is highly appreciated!!)