#god ive really never been anyones number one choice huh

[antarcticajoy]

you know what I'd love? If someone would just choose me for once

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding VII

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - Part II - - - Part III - - - Part IV - - - Part V - - - Part VI

CONTENT WARNING: Please be advised this chapter may contain triggering material. More detail available in tags. 

It wasn’t until Anakin was staring at the hot sauce bottles and solitary mysterious green takeout container that he remembered they were at war, and therefore no longer in the habit of restocking the apartment’s cold stasis.

“Obi-Wan, there’s nothing to eat!” 

"I know!” came the call back. “I’m trying to meditate!”

Anakin closed the stasis door and walked back out to the common room. Obi-Wan sat crosslegged on the window sill.

“Do or do not, there is no try,” the knight quipped.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to look fondly at the man standing before him. Maybe tomorrow, when he woke alone in a dusty desert hovel, he would regret letting himself play pretend for so long. Maybe this whole day would fade from his memory like a dream.

But right now, he felt... peaceful. He wouldn’t claim to be satisfied by the explanations he imagined for Anakin, but it would have been far more disturbing if he somehow came up with an actually sympathetic justification for genocide. He got to say and hear a number of goodbyes. He even got to cry over Anakin with the comfort of his presence. 

Now he had to let go, to be there for Luke. (And he could always get more spice...)

“I guess if you need to meditate, I can go pick us up food from the Temple Tapcaf.” Anakin offered. 

“Thank you, Anakin. Today...helped. More than I can explain.” Obi-Wan said softly.

“I- I don’t really deserve that. Considering it was all my fault.” Anakin bowed his head, helpless for words, but uncomfortable with being praised.

“Not every terrible thing that has happened is your fault. You made a series of terrible choices, yes. But there were, there are, other dark forces at work and not a single Jedi in the order was able to stop them. At least for a short time today I was able to set that aside, so for what it’s worth, thank you.”

“Kriff.” Anakin said shocked. “Of course there’s more. Ok. That’s all right, we-” he was cut off by a growl from Obi-Wan’s stomach. 

A snort of laughter escaped before Anakin smacked a hand over his mouth. “Alright, I’m going to the Tapcaf, you just...meditate until I get back.”

Obi-Wan swallowed and nodded, “I love you so much.” 

“Force Obi-Wan, you’re going to make me start crying again.” He pulled him into a bear hug. “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m not gone, ok? Just...meditate. And drink some water.”

"Hmm, I don’t know. Some of my best choices recently have been stupid,” Obi-Wan laughed. The words were light, but Anakin felt a prickle of unease, a hint of danger. There was no clear cause, and Obi-Wan seemed relaxed but...

Anakin gripped his Master’s shoulders, staring him dead in the eye. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

Obi-Wan sighed, “I promise.” He pulled Anakin down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Goodbye, Anakin.”

"I’ll be back in 20 minutes.” He paused, then mumbled, “i love you too” before speeding out the door.

Obi-Wan settled back into meditation, reaching inwards. Everything but his body and the light within faded. He magnified his hunger, his thirst, visualizing the pack of dried jerky in his hut, the precious jars of water in the basement. He could almost feel the heat that never quite abandoned Tatooine, even during the short nights. He opened his eyes

and saw the temple apartment.

He shut them again quickly. He was sure he could snap himself out of this. He sank deeper inward, careful to leave his shields perfectly intact. With the galaxy as dim as it was, a real show of force had the potential to grab attention across star systems. Force purging toxins, fortunately, was more a matter of internal concentration than outward power. It was one of the first skills Obi-Wan had truly mastered as a Jedi, thanks to numerous kidnappings at the start of his apprenticeship and hard drinking towards the end. 

It was uncomfortable to be that keenly aware of one’s kidneys, but Obi-Wan managed. It was less intense than a healing trance, anyway. His heart rate increased as various metabolic processes sped up- and almost immediately slowed down. Huh. The drug must of almost run its natural course, and now he 

still in the temple.

Kark. Shit. 

‘Breathe’ he thought. Stress was only going to increase his chances of a stroke. Alright, so meditation wasn’t working. Maybe he could try for longer, but part of him was nervous that if ‘Anakin’ returned he’d lose the willpower, and so far the passage of time had been extremely linear. He was too invested in the fantasy at this point for anything easy.

Remember your training. Your eyes can deceive you, do not trust them. 

Padawans were taught three main methodologies to move beyond mindtricks, hallucinations, visions, and the like. Looking In, Reaching Out, and Breaking Out. 

Looking in wasn’t working. That left the other two options. In the past, when his senses were lying to him he could always trust in the force, but now...it was just too much risk. Reaching out like that, with his whole self, meant the chance of finding someone.

That left breaking out. Obi-Wan jumped up, staring intensely at the details in the molding, the stains on the carpet, at everything. At no point today had he spotted objects fading to grey in the corner his vision, or ripple as memories from different time frames overlapped, but surely there must be some weak point.

Nothing. 

Shit, he really had stayed too long. Alright then, time for more uncivilized measures.

He walked to the kitchen and pulled their butcher’s vibroblade from its block, holding it to his neck, then hesitated.

This had to be done, but it didn’t make it any less unsettling. It was his own fault for lingering in the delusion so long; all the more palatable paths to escape had closed off, and after all he had been through he refused to die from a drug overdose. Gods, it might take years for someone to find the body.

He steeled himself, bringing the blade back up decisively only to drop it with a clatter. Pressing a hand to his throat, he was unnerved but not entirely surprised to find a stinging line of pain. His hand came away wet with blood. He instinctively pressed both hands to the cut, pulse rapid and heavy and slippery beneath his palms.

It’s just a hallucination. It’s just an extremely vivid hallucination.

A thought occurred to Obi-Wan then, and he felt something in the pit of his stomach drop in horror.

What if...what if the blade was real. What if he was actually moving around his home right now, hazily sleepwalking in a pantomime of the peaceful stroll and tender embraces he was imagining. It would explain the immediate relief from the water this morning...hadn’t he found his way to food and water even dazed from sleep-debt and blood-loss during the war?

He had a vibroblade in the desert too...

His pulse pounded harder beneath his hands. The cut wasn’t even that deep, but for the first time Obi-Wan felt the true existential horror of his current trap well up. If he didn’t know where the walls were...how could he escape.

He took a deep breath, acknowledging and letting go of his panic.

He had the force. He would just have to be delicate in his application. He picked up the bloodied tool from the floor but decided to simply to clip it to his belt for now. A force-null object would be harder to distinguish at first touch.

Obi-Wan walked to his temple bedroom and opened the barest crack in his shields, just enough to reach out, get a sense of existing currents in the force. He stirred at one until a small vortex of light formed. To anyone looking, it would appear a naturally occurring, low-powered whirlpool, common enough on Tattoine. Any gentle moves he made in the minutes before it fell apart would hopefully be obscured by its wake.

He hesitantly laid a hand on the lightsaber on his bedside table, lowering his shields a little further. His heart sunk when he realized that his memory had even recreated the perception of force-imbued temple walls in the periphery. The Kyber in his saber reverberated with a familiar song. He jerked his hand away. That felt too much like his real lightsaber. He couldn’t risk it. 

Before Obi-Wan truly began to panic again, he realized something missing. Anakin’s- Darth Vader’s saber. Since picking it up on Mustafar, the crystal in it had screamed at him, halfway to corruption. When he touched the blade he could almost feel... feel what horrors it had been bent to commit.

Most of the time he left it buried under a rock pile in his basement, too afraid to work on healing it.

He couldn’t hear it now- but he could feel the memory of what it used to be.

It sat innocently on his Anakin’s bedside table. There was a tinge of darkness to it of course- this saber had only ever known war. But when he rested a hand on the blade it was clear this belonged to the memory he had walked with today, not the tyranny of reality.

Grasping it firmly, he marched back to the windowsill and settled, intent on his choice. Sunsets here couldn’t compare to tattooine- they were just too different. The binary play transformed the infinite horizon. It was something on Tatooine he unabashedly marveled at.

Courasant, on the other hand, transformed the sun into a reflection of itself. Untold millions of transparisteel buildings refracted the star painfully at some points while casting shadows on the rest. The filter of light through constant smog resulted in strange shades of neon green and blood red. It was beautiful, but uncomfortable to look at too long.

He closed his eyes and pressed the saber to his chest.

---

Anakin was impatiently waiting in the hot service line when the urge to return to his apartment insistently welled up again. He pushed it back of course- Obi-Wan needed food and Anakin couldn’t keep putting his own selfish impulses in front of his Master’s wellbeing.

He held out for a few seconds, but the itch was getting stronger, sharper. He looked down at the tray- it already had most of Obi-Wan’s cold favorites, but he really wanted to get him his favorite soup if the line would just move a little faster. He jolted when, for the first time that day, Obi-Wan’s shielding thinned the slightest amount. Not enough to get anything clear, but the fact that there was movement at all...

He left the line; they could always come back together if Obi-Wan wanted. Hells, maybe they’d do a late night visit to Dex’s for some real comfort food. Anakin still couldn’t get a sense of what Obi-Wan was up to through their muffled bond. He felt a buzz in his ears, not unlike the moment before an enemy blow.

He picked up speed, tea sloshing in its thermoflask. An elder looked at him annoyed as darted around him.

He started speed walking in earnest as the feeling got more intense. A sandwich fell to the wayside.

Speed walking quickly switched to jogging, then running; there was a shout of complaint as he ditched the whole tray carelessly behind.

He took the last few hallways at a full-out force-assisted sprint, the Force itself screaming at him to move. A small part of his mind thought we’re safe inside the temple Obi-Wan promised not to do anything stupid i’m going to get such shit for freaking out over nothing. 

He sensed nothing from Obi-Wan over the bond; not a hint of fear or anger or surprise. He blurred around the last corner, feeling like he might throw up with his increasing, unexplained panic.

Not caringabout anything butgettingto Obi-Wan beforeitstoolate he smashed down the door at the same moment Obi-Wan, sitting peacefully by the window, turned on the lightsaber pointing directly at his heart.

Time seemed to slow. Splinters of the door frame hung in the air as Anakin desperately pulled the lightsaber away from Obi-Wan in the half-second between activation and ignition.

He wasn’t quite fast enough.

Blue plasma pierced Obi-Wan’s chest as time caught up. Pieces of the wall shattered like shrapnel as he turned, shocked to see Anakin. The saber flew away in a straight arrow. 

Anakin threw himself to Obi Wan’s side, wildly trying to draw heat away from the searing hole before it could vaporize the surrounding flesh. He couldn’t tell what the saber had pierced, or how far it had gone in considering its last second movement.

One hand trained on a hundred battle fields robotically reached for his comm-unit to call for emergency medical assistance. His mind however, had largely been left behind a few minutes ago, when he was trying to pick what Obi-Wan would want to eat for dinner.

What came out his mouth was more incoherent shrieking than anything else, but he had at least called the correct line for temple aid.

He threw down the comm, focus intent on controlling the smoldering burn. The air around them seemed to boil and Obi-Wan started struggling to get away. Anakin bodily held him down, finally finding words,

“What the FUCK, OBI-WAN! YOU LITERALLY JUST PROMISED NOT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID! YOU PROMISED!”

“that’s why- hkk I  have  to” Obi-Wan rasped.

“Karking Fuck.YOU- STOP MOVING!”

Anakin felt a twinge of danger come from the side but was too focused to do anything but shift his body as shield. A sharp pain pierced his gut but he ignored it. 

The air crackled with heat and power as the wound beneath him cooled. A faint trickle of dark blood oozed out, probably burns breaking from recent movement, considering the instant cauterization. He couldn’t see any light coming through, which meant he had moved the saber at least a quarter klick before it activated, Anakin thought semi hysterically.

Finally, someone showed up to investigate the disturbance. In truth, probably less than a minute had passed since Anakin entered the room, but he really didn’t care.

“HELP ME!” Anakin shouted.

“What happened?” Mace Windu asked grimly, falling to the ground next to them. Not waiting for an answer, he set his lit saber aside and placed his hand to Obi-Wan’s forehead, stilling the violent thrashing.

Anakin opened his mouth but he just didn’t have the words. He didn’t know. 

“General Skywalker, report.” Mace Windu commanded sharply. 

“I left him alone to get dinner for us. I ran back and when I broke open the door he was holding the lightsaber to his chest. I tried...to pull it away. It pierced him, and I’ve been trying to manage the initial burn risk. I called for medi but I don’t know their eta.”

“They’re behind me. How did you get stabbed?” the Master demanded.

“How did I what?” Anakin looked down to see a vibroblade sticking out from his left side. Right, the pain from before. Obi-Wan suddenly mustered up the energy to wake up despite his state and Windu’s compulsion. He looked around wildly before yanking the knife from Anakin’s side.

Anakin gasped, but managed to still his brother’s hand using the force before he could finish bringing it up to his neck, which Anakin just noticed was bloody.

“STOP TRYING TO DIE!” Anakin screeched.

“...I’m...not....I’m....trying.....to...” 

But before Obi-Wan could finish the sentence, the healers finally arrived, pushing Windu aside to grab hold of Anakin and Obi-Wan. He could feel a buzz of energy go through him, stopping at the growing damp patch at his side. He tried to push the man away but the heat in the room was starting to make him dizzy

“I’m fine! Focus on Obi-Wan.”

Mace placed a hand on his shoulder, and in the gentlest voice he had ever heard from the man, said, “You’ve been stabbed Anakin. Let the healers help both of you- you’ve done well looking out for him.”

Obi-Wan, still occasional thrashing was being loaded onto a hoverstrech for transport. A second stretcher waited next to it. 

“Master Windu! He’s fighting us,” Master Che called sharply. “Can you tell us what happened?”

“Master Kenobi tried to kill himself,” Windu replied flatly. “His wounds are self inflicted and he’s violently fighting assistance” 

There was a beat as that information was processed. Knight Bant, who must have arrived at some point, said in slightly less flat voice, “He displayed erratic behavior earlier today, and I ruled out drug interactions.”

“Thank you, Knight Bant.” Master Che plunged a syringe of some kind into Obi-Wans thigh. He finally stopped attempting to fight, falling down onto the board. “Red team, with me. Orange, you have Skywalker,” She instructed sharply. 

Anakin numbly watched most of the healers leave with Obi-Wan through a hole in the wall. He slowly started to stand and somehow ended up guided into a seat on the hoverboard. Looking down, he was surprised to see his tunic cut away in favor of a large bacta patch. 

“Hey,” he protested. “Who stabbed me?”

“We can discuss that after you have surgery,” A Human healer replied. Master Covamos, he thought.

“This is my fault” Anakin said, suddenly urgent. “I shouldn’t have left him. He told me goodbye, he was saying goodbye all day, I should have...”

“You saved his life,” Windu interrupted. “You got to him just in time, don’t waste your energy on should-haves. Now sleep.”

Anakin wanted to argue more, but instead found himself laying down, vision blurring. His face felt damp, had he been stabbed more than once? Windu said a few more words he couldn’t quite make out. There was a brief stinging sensation, then everything faded away. 

----

Part VIII

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[bravehxarts]

So! Today is a very blessed day because it just so happens to be Zee’s birthday (AKA @liightningchosen​). HAPPY BIRTHDAY BB! I love you very much and I’m glad we managed to bump into each other again. Seems we both remade our blogs at a perfect time!

Since I can’t exactly fly over to give you a present, I’ve written you something as a throwback to how we started talking. I really hope you like it.

This is sort of AUish but has canon stuff also.

SNOWBARRY ( five times she loved him & once she actually said it. )

i. The karaoke night – she couldn’t help it. When they sang together, even though her voice had been terrible in comparison to his, which had been beautiful, Caitlin (perhaps in her drunken state, or perhaps for the first time noticing how dazzling his genuine smile was) had felt a connection to him somehow. It didn’t make much sense. Neither did the uncomfortable feeling she got when she returned from the bathroom to see a girl talking to Barry. She’s really pretty, Caitlin thought, holding back until she left – though she definitely saw her leave her phone number.

Then he took her home, helped her get into her pajamas, and even agreed to stay with her until she fell asleep. When Caitlin awoke the next day, along with her banging hangover, she also found herself with something else…feelings for Barry Allen. She’d been glad that her sunglasses were on when she saw him, because the feeling of happiness mixed with anxiety that rushed over her most definitely would have shown on her face. Thank god for hangovers.

ii. This one’s a little more complicated – when the metahuman that could change into anyone he wanted was roaming around committing crimes as other people, something happened. Something that Caitlin hadn’t told anyone, and yet the experience is burned into her memory.  He’d been acting a little odd, but at the time, she had dismissed it – she turned around and he was right there. Her heart had started beating a little too fast when she saw him, and she tried to move away from him. But then he kissed her. She’d had a feeling even then that it wasn’t him, but she kissed him back anyway and Caitlin couldn’t even describe the feelings inside her as it happened.

The beeping of her completed scan made them break apart. For a split second, Caitlin thought about telling him how she felt – but then her flight instincts kicked in, so she moved away, and a little while later, she found out that wasn’t even him. She'd known it, but still…sometimes when she looks into Barry’s eyes, she thinks about it. She’s doing her best not to.

iii. When she came back to the team after being kidnapped by Zoom. As soon as Caitlin’s eyes settled on Barry, the relief that came over her was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. She wanted to run to him, hug him tightly, and never let go. He seemed to sense that thought. In a blur, suddenly, Barry was right in front of her, holding her tightly, his face buried into her shoulder. She held him back, surprised by the emotion behind it as he whispered. “You’re okay…oh thank god. I’m so sorry, Caitlin.” It hurt her to think that he saw this as his fault.

“Do NOT blame yourself, Barry. This is on Jay. Do you hear me? It wasn’t your fault.” Caitlin didn’t want to pull away, but she did, so that she could look him in the eyes. “I’m okay. What we need to focus on now is stopping him.”

Barry lingered on her for a moment longer than usual, Caitlin observed, and when he let her arms go his fingers seemed to drag across her skin instead of just moving away. A shiver went down her spine, and she was certain he noticed the look in her eyes when she looked up. I love you. But she couldn’t say it, not now, especially not with the way Iris and everyone were staring at them. Not yet.

iv.  “Caitlin, I need your help with something.”

Those words were all she needed to drive straight to Jitters to meet Barry. When she got there, she noticed that he looked…actually, incredibly happy. Well, at least nothing bad had happened, right? She approached his table, smiling upon noticing that her usual was already in front of the spare seat.

“Thanks. So, what’s up?” Caitlin asked, as she sat down and looked across at him.

“Actually, I’m taking a day trip. “ Barry explained.

“But you’re the Flash. Your job doesn’t exactly let you take a day trip.” Caitlin sipped her coffee, raising an eyebrow. Where was he going with this?

“I pulled a couple strings, okay? Oliver owes me a favor. Besides, if he, Joe and Cisco can’t figure things out, I can race back over here. Look, that’s not the point. I want you to come.”

Caitlin paused, eyes widening slightly. “You…do? Why not Iris?”

“She was my second choice actually. Look, I’ve been to a lot of places with Iris. I’ve never been anywhere with you. Besides, I know you’re struggling lately. I thought it’d do us some good. So, what do you say?”

Of course she said yes. They went to a museum, then to lunch and then to a carnival. Barry was like an excited kid, and honestly, so was Caitlin. That side of her hadn’t been brought out in a long time. They went on a bunch of rollercoasters (she hated every second of it, but Barry held onto her hand the whole time and she felt safe), then went to finish the day by getting candyfloss. As they strolled through the carnival, joking and laughing, Barry stopped Caitlin in the road.

“Hold up.” He giggled, reaching forwards into her hair and pulling out a bit of candyfloss.

“Thanks.” Caitlin was smiling widely, and she couldn’t believe how nice a day she’d had – what she also couldn't believe was the way Barry was staring at her right now - like she held the entire universe in her hands. It made her confused and happy and nervous all at once. This could be her chance – after all, hadn’t today seemed like a date? No, her mind told her. No, this was two friends having fun, nothing more. Don’t ruin it.

So instead of saying those words that would release her burdens, she simply looped her free arm through his and they kept walking. She convinced herself that the frown on his face when she stepped away from him had been her imagination.

v. Barry had been injured quite badly. He’d been passed out for a few hours now, at least. Caitlin had offered to wait by his side, and everyone agreed. She played it off well, but she was very worried about him – every time he went out there, she felt as though he was closer and closer to getting killed.

What would she do if he didn’t wake up? If he died one day, and she’d never had the chance to tell him that—

“Cait.”

Caitlin gasped, her gaze snapping over to Barry like a shot. He was awake, and smiling weakly. She got up and, without thinking, leaned over to hug him.

“Hey, hey, careful!” Barry said, but he laughed, and just as she went to pull away he held her tighter. “How long was I out?”

“Three and a half hours. Barry, do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” Caitlin pulled away to look at him, a stern expression on her features. “You could’ve died, and…”

“Caitlin, I’m fine! I promise you.”

“Barry, listen. Okay, look, I…I can’t keep watching you go out there and be in that much danger while I’m keeping this huge secret.” She began. “There’s something I need you to-“

“Barry!” Iris came running in, and hugged Barry tightly. Joe was following behind her. “Oh thank God, we were so worried about you!”

“You scared the hell out of us. You really gotta stop doing that.” Joe chided.

Caitlin stepped out, and didn’t notice Barry staring after her. He needed to spend time with his family. Or maybe, she thought, just maybe that’s a sign that this is never going to happen.

i. “Caitlin?”

She nearly jumped out of her skin as she whirled around, panic clutching at her for just a moment before realizing it was Barry.  She huffed a breath of relief – arguably, she shouldn’t be at Star Labs at 3:30 in the morning, but at least she wasn’t in danger.

“Oh my god, Barry. What are you…doing here?” she asked, looking at him with a half-smile.

“I came to think. Figured there wouldn’t be anyone around.” He replied, smiling at her. “Great minds think alike, huh?”

Caitlin grinned, lowering her gaze a little. “Of course. I haven’t really been sleeping well lately. I thought coming here and focusing on work might help me escape my thoughts a bit.” She sat down and he joined her, giving her those big puppy eyes that he did when he got concerned.

“I know the feeling.” Barry reached out to place a hand on her arm.

Caitlin jumped away like she’d been shocked – she wouldn’t meet his eye, either. Barry frowned. She’d been acting weird lately, but he’d assumed that it was because of the ongoing threat of metahumans. Now he realized that it wasn’t just that – had he done something wrong?

“Cait…” he whispered, a sad look in his eyes. “Have I upset you?”

“No!” Caitlin exclaimed. “No, no, of course not.” Please don’t think that.

“Then what’s going on with you? Every time I try to meet your eye, you look away. Every time I touch you, you act like I burned you or something, and you've been weird with me ever since we got back from the day trip. What’s up?” Barry sounded worried, and that made Caitlin feel so guilty.

But how could she tell him, her best friend, that she did all these things to avoid him figuring out how she felt about him?

“I’m not sure you really want the answer to that, Barry.” Caitlin replied softly. “Just let it go.”

“I can’t.” he said. “Caitlin, please look at me.”

When she didn’t raise her head at first, he reached out again, his fingers gently finding her jaw. She didn’t pull away as he tilted her head towards him, and their eyes met. Her breath caught in her throat.

Barry seemed distracted, his eyes flicking downwards before meeting her eyes again. “What’s going on?” he moved his hand from her face to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

A shiver ran down her spine, and Caitlin honestly didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up. Especially right now, because Barry’s eyes weren’t leaving hers and the look in them made her feel…a lot of things. She couldn’t keep going like this.

She stood up, turning away from him. “Okay, so…I’m going to tell you the truth, and I don’t want you to say anything until I’m done.”

“Okay.” Barry sounded disappointed, and she didn’t want to turn around and see that look on his face again, so she faced away for now.

“When we first met…I was a completely different person to who I am now. I'm kinder, more open...and a lot happier. You helped me grow into this person, Barry. You’re my best friend. But…” Caitlin took a deep breath. “I love you. I don’t mean in the friendly…kind of way, I mean I’m in love with you. I see you every day and I feel like every part of my body is trying to pull me towards you. Every time you go out and get hurt I almost fall apart because I would hate for anything to ever happen to you. Even when I leave here at night, I still can’t stop thinking about you.”

She fell silent, and so did he. Oh god.

“I was too afraid to tell you.” She turned around slowly. “But that’s the truth, so I…”

She gasped. Barry was right behind her – and it really was him this time, ducking his head to kiss her. She melted into him immediately, her fear instantly evaporating and being replaced with a feeling of pure joy instead.

When he pulled away, he didn’t pull away entirely – Barry kept his forehead resting on hers, his arms around her, and Caitlin didn’t know how to describe how happy she felt in this moment.

“I love you too, Caitlin. I can’t believe you took so long to tell me!” Barry teased, laughing as she shoved him playfully and they kissed again, making up for lost time.

[crushingonrazz]

Numbers and Questions

@ollie-oxen-free @queenofbiscuits @gallifreyan-pal @beckyshecky I CHOOSE YOU (you’re tagged and now you have to do this too) But honestly everyone who sees this is now tagged, go!!!!

So I may have stolen this idea from a thing on FanFiction.net. If you are tagged, randomly assign your 12 favorite characters (I stuck purely to the skeletons) to numbers like this:

Pink (ULP)

Red (UFS)

Sans (UTS)

Lust (ULS)

Ink (IS)

Error (ES)

Stretch (USP)

Papyrus (UTP)

Fell (UFP)

Blue (USS)

Razz (SFS)

Slim (SFP)

And then take the questions that I have below the cut and put in your own answers to them with your new list of characters (it works best if your list is truly random), then tag some new people and post it! (tag me too because I really want to see all of your answers and the characters you pick). (also tumblr totally messed up the formatting but whatever you guys get the idea right) I’m going to also post mine in cosos because why not, but I thought it’d be fun to post here!

If anyone has any more questions they’d like me to answer, feel free to send me an ask (i.e. would 3 and 7 make good friends, what would happen if 11 introduced 10 to a life of crime, etc). The questions I have here are more randomized, copied right from the thing, but I definitely don’t mind more purposeful ones being asked.

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9). (1), brokenhearted, goes on one date with (11), has an unhappy breakup with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Pink and Stretch are in a happy relationship until Stretch dumps Pink for Fell. Pink, brokenhearted, goes on one date with Razz, has an unhappy breakup with Slim, then follows the wise advice of Ink and finds true love with Sans.

Sounds like the kind of drama some of ya’ll would love.

 If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

(Papyrus) Me Too by Meghan Trainor, probably. That’s gotta be Paps’ theme song.

 3 told you that she will soon be getting married to 2. What is your reaction?

(Sans and Red) Either a lot of hand-flapping or a sort of “duh”.

 When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

(Ink) It has certainly been a minute. I think I read at least part of Fixing Your Errors by SansyFresh last week? I don’t think I’ve read one about him since.

 6 kidnapped you, why is this?

(Error) Probably because he’s fucking insane? Also it’s not like he’s never kidnapped anyone before.

 Does anyone on your friends list consider Three hot?

(Sans) I’m gonna go with yes because duh. Nope, not at all, no one I know thinks Sans is at all hot.

 If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what warning would it have?

(Pink, Error, and Slim) Oh fucking Christ almighty… I don’t even want to think about it.

 6 is extremely pissed off about something, why is this? And what will you do?

(Error) When is Error not pissed about something, honestly? And I would get the hell out of his way.

 Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

(Ink/Fell or Ink/Blue) Ink/Blue because InkBerry is kinda cute but I’ve never even seen anything about Ink/Fell)

 You and 9 get trapped in an elevator together. What happens? And who are the other random people with you two?

(Fell) Honestly probably sitting in opposite corners playing on our phones or something. I’m not about to bother someone who could and would shut me up in a not-so-fun way if he was feeling like it.  

 Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

(Red and Error) Uh...no? Probably not? I haven’t really thought about it too much but the idea doesn’t appeal to me.

 8 confessed to be a part of your family.

(Papyrus) I’m just gonna go with it, honestly. Papyrus probably adopts people all the time.

 4 and 5 are having an argument. Why is this?

(Lust and Ink) Knowing Lust, he probably walked up and asked Ink if he could taste the rainbow, and Ink may or may not have threatened to let Error take out his AU.

 Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

(Pink and Papyrus) Oh man I hope so, that would be sweet as fuck. Especially since I headcanon Paps as aro/ace so it would be like a brotp thing probably. But I could see Pink being discouraged at his lack of success with the royal harem and Papyrus would make him comfort oatmeal and they’d watch Ferris Bueller or something.

2 writes you a love song, plays it for you, and then kisses you on the cheek.

(Red) CRUSH.EXE HAS CRASHED

 What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve kissing?

(Stretch, Red and Slim) Depending on his mood? Either back out slowly, or really loudly go “WOW GUYS ARE U GONNA BONE?!” because he’s an obnoxious motherfucker.

 Do you think Four is hot?

(Lust) I don’t think I really have a choice in the matter have you fucking seen him?

 7 cooked you dinner.

(Stretch) What the fuck did you put in it, is this a prank?

 Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?

(Stretch and Slim) Uh… Beautiful, it’s True. This question can fuck off.

 9 and 1 accidentally get hooked up on a dating website and are forced to go on a date together.

(Fell and Pink) “Accidentally”, huh, Pink?

 8 gets angry and starts cussing at 6 very loudly. 7 is watching it all and is interested...but why is this?

(Papyrus, Error, Stretch) Because holy fuck Papyrus is cussing someone out, lemme get the popcorn man.

 Do you recall any fics about 9?

(Fell) Oh, y’know, one or two. There’s the occasional UnderFell fic here and there.

 You are about to do something that will make you feel very embarrassed. Will 9 comfort you?

(Fell) Awkwardly and in his own way. He doesn’t quite know how to respond to something like that.

 Does anyone on your friends list read 3?

(Sans) idk guys, have any of you ever read a fic about Sans? Sans the skeleton? Heard of him? He’s the little nerd that loves astronomy and Red and ketchup?

 Would anyone one of your friends list write about Two/Four/Five?

(Red, Lust, Ink) Honestly, Galli would probably write any combination of any of the guys up here. Ollie might if there was a meme involved.

 You're lying on the beach peacefully, and then you turn your head to see 1, 2, and 9, by the water wearing speedos.

(Pink, Red, Fell) I’m honestly not even surprised.

 It's storming outside and 4 allowed you to stay with her at her place until it blows over. And your reaction to this kind gesture is?

(Lust) My reaction to this kind gesture with definitely no ulterior motives at all? Hmmm…..I’d have to think about it…

 Have you read a 6 / 11 fanfic before?

(Error/Razz) Nope and I honestly do not have the inclination?

 5 wakes you up in the middle of the night.

(Ink) Dude I’m sure the multiverse can wait until the morning leave me alone.

 1 asks to talk to you privately. When you are both alone, he admits to you that he is gay.

(Pink) ….Are you absolutely sure because im not really sure you’re sure that outfit is pretty straight dude and im pretty sure ive never ever seen you fuck another dude before sooooooooo (I wouldn’t actually say that don’t get mad at me)

 5 gave you a teddy bear.

(Ink) ...k then????

 You and 10 go out for a picnic. Everything is peaceful until 2 crashes it by showing up and inviting you to go hang out at a cafe. Would you go with 2 or stay with 10?

(10-Blue, 2-Red) WELL FUCK. Way to give me an impossible decision???????? I mean of course I’m gonna go with Red but I’m gonna feel really bad about it for like a whole hour!

 1 walked in on you while you were showering. What is your reaction?

(Pink) This is the third time this week, dude.

 What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

(Slim, Papyrus) He’d step up and be a good dad and Papyrus would go EXTREME BABY SHOPPING.

 You catch 10 looking at questionable material on the internet.

(Blue) I’m not terribly surprised but I am giggling madly every time I look at him or his significant other for like a month afterwards because oh my hell that is so funny to me.

 Make up a summary of a 3/10 fanfic.

(Sans/Blue) Blue never expected his first patient to be quite so upbeat and full of jokes, especially when his clipboard was telling him that this patient was on suicide watch. (oh my god what do I have to do to get someone to write this, I need it now????)

 All the listed characters get into a very epic and all-out battle. Who will be the last one standing?

Okay first of all fuck yes?? Secondly, it’d be Papyrus. Sans is the most powerful person in the multiverse, especially since Ink and Error would be focusing all of their attention on each other and would then narrow down that power. So Sans would be able to take the rest of them out, but would protect Papyrus more than he protects himself. And if it was left as just the two of them? Sans isn’t about to let himself be the one left.

 7 is having relationship problems, 4 tries to help him out but her advice isn't helpful. Your thoughts about this predicament?

(Stretch, Lust) Lust, you can’t just tell everyone to “suck their dick under the table”, that is not a way to solve most problems.

 Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?

(Razz) *Narrows my eyes most especially at Ollie*

[ellrond]

Fave Thomas headcanons, pls.

sorry for the late reply!! this has been in my inbox for like a week but i wanted to give it the attention it deserves!! 

also i dont know if you’re asking for fandom headcanons that ive noticed or my own, but seeing as how i havent seen that many (none actually really spring to mind if im honest) this will just be an incomplete list of my own thomas headcanons unless otherwise stated

(disclaimer: of course it’s very difficult to have an original thought these days, and if you’ve seen these headcanons anywhere else, know i’m not trying to pass someone else’s idea off as my own, it just so happens that i have come to a certain conclusion that another person has, without me even seeing their posts. two people can have the same ideas without ever having any sort of interaction or seeing their posts alright alright glad we got that sorted)

fandom headcanons that r great and i fully endorse 

thomas is gay. he absolutely adores miranda and they share a sex life (whether that be through group sex, mutual masturbation, or straight up one on one sexual activity) but he is a homosexual man

thomas is a top. this one the fandom seems to be agreed on. bottom thomas?? i dont know her

he doesnt like wearing his wig much it is itchy 

my own headcanons

during elections he cast his votes for the Whigs rather than the Tories and should he have ever stood for office in the lower house would have done so as a Whig (the less right-wing of the two political parties during this period of British history) but believed party politics were dangerous and detrimental to the greater good of the country. He saw the dangers of the laizze-faire attitude the Whigs had and their sometimes aggressive anti-Catholicism disturbed him although sometimes the way he has been raised means he lets anti-Catholicism come into his line of thinking (as seen when things get heated with him and pops). That being said, he was, perhaps unsurprisingly, a royalist and had Tory tenancies (I think it’s safe to assume there was little love in Alfred Hamilton for liberalism, and I’m sure Thomas was raised a Tory) in that regard. Thomas was born very close to the time of the Glorious Revolution and with his family being an old aristocratic one, conservatism, in one form or another, would have been in his very bones.

tl;dr ^^ he’s a liberal who dislikes party politics and subscribes to ideologies from both sides of parliament 

he’s a genuine believer in God and in Christ. He knows his scripture (he must be quoting the bible more than hes saying his own original thoughts in the show probably gfgdgfd) and Christ is important to him. He bases his life around Christ’s teachings - that’s why he’s so kind and so concerned with forgiveness and redemption and hope. He rejects the violence and hatred found in other parts of the Bible and has a great love for the gospels instead and finds his strength in Christ’s words about love and kindness and charity and forgiveness. He believes that to be a good Christian one must above all else be kind. He also highly values the lesson of the Good Samaritan (surprise surprise said no one ever) and reminds himself daily to never judge someone else for the life choices and decisions. 

his mother was just as bad as his father. I’ve seen people suggest that thomas’ mother must have been an angel to balance out the devil of alfred for thomas to have turned out so good and im calling bullshit. someone with two mean-spirited and cruel parents can absolutely be wonderful people, and in thomas’ case i believe it was the distance of his parents and their disdain and judgement of the world and unkindness that made thomas quite the opposite. he saw the mistakes they were making and learned from them. 

we know he went to eton. he deffo started kissing boys at the age of 13 or 14. he’s been a heartbreaker since teenagehood. 

he’s around 30-35 when we see him in 1705 (less a headcanon and more a lazy estimation similar to ones hundreds of other people have made) 

he enjoys sex a lot. he’s had a number of sexual partners most of whom were of the same social standing as he and he’s been in love before he meets james. he’s never loved anyone like james though. he believes james is his soulmate

he is caught between thoroughly enjoying high society life with all of its frills - the fashion, the music, the art, the luxurious houses and exuberant interiors - and feeling guilty about being so rich whilst others have so little in comparison. he’s not perfect, and so he lets himself enjoy the glamour of aristocratic europe without trying to give it too much thought. 

it’s canon he’s a Big Thinker and was homies with other Big Thinkers (he probs fucked half of the enlightenment giants but thats for anotehr time) and I Think he’d spend a lot of time Thinking about Big Things you know like ??? would educating the masses be a good thing?? child labour, huh whats that all about is that worth it?? why are some people entitled to more simply because of who they were born as? and what even IS class? and other big questions politics and sociology and criminology and philosophy and economics and history students spend £9k a year thinking about lmao (tag urself im tragic politics student still cryin over the overlooked work engles did for yrs n yrs oh fred you was done so bad i lovE YOU) 

crazy horny boy have james wear a butt plug during dinners with alfred lmao oh tomhas you wild thing

[carry-on-my-wayward-imagines]

Just Not Tonight

Anonymous said: So I saw this quote today and I was wondering if you could do a Dean/reader oneshot based off it? “You don’t know you’ve fallen for someone until after it happens.”

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I’m addicted to your writing, it’s so good! I was wondering if you could do one where the reader confesses her love to Dean and he doesn’t feel the same way, but after a few weeks/months he starts to fall for her? Whether or not the reader takes him at the end is up to you :) Thank you so much! <3

@-sidetracked- said: Can we make this like, a dean story please where like dean is in love with the reader and he isn’t supposed to be so he tried to forget like all the memories and stuff but she still comes around for Sam and cas and Charlie so he can’t and it’s really hard for him

A/N: Long wait, huh? It’s been quite a busy year, but thanks to the encouragement of you guys and the awesome T(ristan), I’ve finally written just enough to publish this part. Thank you for your patience, and I’ll do my best to get the other parts out soon! 

Word count: 1,951

Pairing: Dean x reader.

Warnings: Drinking.

“Let Go” series: Part I, II, III, IV

Theme songs: Gonna Get over You - Sara Bareilles

“Let Go” Series Spotify Playlist

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A smile pulled at your lips as soon as the cool glass touched your lips, taste buds dancing happily as the sweet alcohol washed over your mouth. A nightclub was not how you planned on celebrating Dean’s return to hunting, but it was his choice. However, instead of flirting while trying to not embarrass himself on dance floor like you had expected, he stayed quiet and motionless, talking with Sam over a beer while you glanced at him from afar.

Getting over Dean Winchester was not easy.

“So, after my family moved here from Korea, I really wanted to follow what my dad couldn’t do there, and that’s how I became a high school social studies teacher,” Soo-jin finished, sipping her scarlet drink. You looked away from Dean, not even noticing when your eyes had drifted away from her. “I’m in charge of some AP U.S. History classes and a regular one, so the kids aren’t that bad, but with today’s test scores…”

She eyed her drink with dark brown eyes while you laughed, nodding. Soo-jin seemed like an organized, soft-spoken person, and you couldn’t think of another profession that would fit her better. You had left Sam and Dean behind with the quick excuse of going to the bathroom and then getting a drink, but what you really needed was a break from Dean’s arm around your shoulders, making your heart beat faster than any alcohol in your body.

But he always did that whenever you visited bars or clubs, knowing you weren’t looking for anyone to go home with other than him and Sam. It was a protective gesture, a brotherly act he apparently didn’t think to drop now that you were getting over him. Hearing Soo-jin talking about the Ottoman empire as you passed by the bar gave you another excuse to be away from him, at least for now.

“I took APUSH when I was in high school,” you said, grimacing. “I mean, no offense or anything, but I truly hated every day of my life in that class. Got a five at the end, though, and as much as I think our teacher was great, he was also a pain in the ass.”

“Don’t worry, I understand,” she chuckled. “That’s what I thought about my teacher, too. I try to make class a little more interesting and fun, but it is history, and—as much as I love it—I know these kids already have more AP classes to worry about than to care about the Civil War as much as I do.”

“Yeah,” you sighed, sipping your drink. Soo-jin stayed quiet for a moment, immersed in her own thoughts like you. “So...are you just here to drink or did you come for some more fun?”

“Definitely some more fun,” Soo-jin laughed as you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, leaning in closer. “You know, I haven’t had a one night stand since college, but I just need a break tonight. Plus, there’s a few hotties here, so I wouldn’t regret getting lucky with, say, that guy over there.”

You followed her eyesight, giggling with her as you discreetly looked to one of the tables behind the both of you. A low whistle left your lips; white sleeves rolled up to the elbows, plush pink lips, dark bronze skin, and short, curly hair. But even as he smiled at the man and woman sitting with him, a wonderful, blinding smile, you couldn’t help to compare him to Dean. Rolled sleeves might have looked good on the stranger, but they turned you into a puddle when Dean did them.

Sighing internally, you turned back to Soo-jin with another giggle and a smile.

“God, that guy is literally the embodiment of all my late night dreams,” you said.

“He could be on the cover of an erotic book for middle-aged moms and I would definitely buy that thing,” Soo-jin agreed, nodding and taking another look behind her shoulder, but she quickly turned back around, eyes wide and mouth opened slightly before she burst into a loud laugh.

“What? What happened?” you asked, looking back as she had, but as soon as you did a pair of amused caramel eyes met you, and you twisted around as fast as you could, trying to hold back from laughing. “Oh, my God…”

“He was definitely looking at us, right?” Soo-jin asked, still laughing as you both sipped your drinks in an attempt to calm down.

“If he wasn’t then I’m definitely drinking too much already,” you grinned. Another bout of high-pitched giggles filled the air. “God, do you feel like you’re in high school again or is it just me?”

“Well, I do go to a high school five days of the week, but I get what you’re saying. Giggling about the cute boy in the hallways, talking about future one night stands without actually having them…”

Your heart started beating faster as you nodded quietly, bringing the cool glass to your lips. No. No, you shouldn’t do this, you thought, but there was no stopping the words that left your mouth.

“Hey, so, what do you think about green eyes and cheesy pick-up lines?” you heard yourself say as you put down your glass. Soo-jin pursed her lips, squinting slightly.

“How cheesy are we talking about?”

“Cheesy enough that they’re actually cute.”

“Then I love them,” she smiled. “Why? I don’t really know you that well, Y/N, but I’m getting the vibe that you’re up to something.”

Stop, your mind screamed, but you just shrugged.

“I actually came here with two other guys—not how you’re thinking, they’re like brothers to me—and I know one of them who is kind of looking for the same thing as you. One night stand, no strings attached. He’s nothing less than a gentleman, pretty cute, and also funny,” you finished, stomach flipping. “Do you want to meet him?”

“I mean, if you say so…” she said hesitantly.

“He really is great,” you added, smiling. You felt like vomiting; you were purposely setting up Dean Winchester for a one night stand. “Look, I’ll go get him, and if you want to back off just bite your lip and scratch your neck.”

“All right, but those green eyes better be nice,” she laughed, adjusting her blouse.

“Trust me, they are,” you said, hopping off the stool and leaving your drink behind. Your smile vanished as soon as you turned around, and a trembling breath left your lips as you walked back to Sam and Dean’s table. “What are you doing, Y/N?” you muttered. “This is just going to hurt like a bi—hey guys!”

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Dean grinned. “What took you so long? That chick was hot, but didn’t exactly look like your type.”  

“That’s right, but she is yours. C’mon, I’m gonna introduce you,” you smiled, missing the look Sam shot Dean.

“Introduce me?”

“That’s right. Sammy here’s not being much of a wingman, so I’m taking the job for the moment. It is your celebration night, after all.”

“Y/N,” you hated the way your heart still fluttered at the concern in his voice, “are you, um, sure about this? I mean, honestly I wasn’t really looking to hookup tonight, I just wanted to be with you—and Sam.”

“Dean, I’m a big girl. I can hang out with Sam on my own, and I don’t make cute friends often,” you said, ignoring your thundering heartbeat. “And it would be kind of awkward to return without the guy I already warmed her up for. You don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to, but, like you said, she’s hot, and I can assure you she’s nice and funny.”  

Dean glanced at Sam, who shrugged, before looking back at you. He would have rather spent the night with you, but he didn’t want to disappoint you. And, after all, Sam had warned him about how he felt for you. Dean didn’t want to tell you how he felt just yet in fear that his heart was playing tricks on him. However, if he was honest with himself, he was more afraid that you were really moving on.

“Alright, I guess.”

He was the first thing you thought of when you woke up.

A hammer pounded into your head without mercy, leaving you squinting at the series of numbers written on your right hand while you rubbed at your temple with the left. It was surprising to see how neat they were even after the drinks you drowned in together, but an odd sense of excitement began to bubble in your chest as you thought of dialing the number. It wasn’t as big as the excitement of just going into the kitchen to see Dean, but it was better than nothing.

An hour later, however, the dust of the excitement had settled, trampled over by the painful effects of your hangover. Wrapping a towel around your hair, you shuffled into the kitchen with heavy steps, the smell of bacon and coffee attracting and repulsing your weak stomach.

“Morning,” Sam greeted with a grim smile, his mop of unruly, brown hair sticking up in unusual angles. A steaming cup of black coffee rested on his hands. Sam never drank dark coffee, not unless he was having a hangover with the same intensity like yours. “Feel good?”

“Like I could run a mile,” you said, dragging your feet to the coffeemaker.

“Really?”

“No, I threw up in the shower today,” you admitted with a small groan.

“Did Dean come home already?” you asked quietly over the trails of steam dancing out of your coffee, hoping Sam would find your voice neutral. You had set him up with someone else, after all. “After two margaritas, three sangrias, and God knows what else I had, I’m not up for calling anyone right now.”

“Two margaritas? Sweetheart, the prohibition made me forget how much a lightweight you are,” Dean chuckled, a bright smile on his face as he walked into the kitchen.

Sam groaned, holding his head in his hands as Dean began to pour himself a cup of coffee, not caring about the painful ruckus he made as he slammed down his cup and the sugar container. You placed your middle finger on your lips, blowing air through your teeth to create a “sh” noise as Dean laughed.

“Also forgot how annoyed you get.”

“Whatever, loser. How are you not hungover? You were walking like Bambi on ice yesterday night,” you glared at Dean. “You should be hungover and useless like the rest of us.”

“Well, I, unlike you, children, can actually take my alcohol,” Dean said smugly, sitting in front of you and grabbing Sam’s discarded newspaper.

“What time did you get here, anyways?” you sighed, sipping your drink. “I’m hoping you were a gentleman and at least offered Soo-jin some breakfast. She seemed like a nice girl, and trust me, women sometimes don’t really feel the best after a one-night stand.”

“I didn’t go home with her,” Dean said, looking away from you. His voice was tense, and his words were short and to the point. Ending your conversation, Dean opened the newspaper, barricading himself behind it.

Shrugging, you tried to ignore the small, happy dance bubbling in your chest as you turned to Sam and began to speak with him again. You could figure out Dean’s odd behavior later, perhaps after figuring out your own mystery from last night; the number scribbled with pen on your hand, and a blurry, handsome face you couldn’t remember well.

“I didn’t go home with her,” Dean repeated under his breath, knowing you couldn’t hear him, “because she wasn’t you.”