#god really said ✨pale✨ huh

[obiwhat]

WHAT IS UP BESTIE I RETURN

Levi desperately chasing the drunk and numb feeling and actually goes straight to alcohol poisoning and never even got to taste the feeling of being drunk 😭 cuz Ackermans are just built ✨ different ✨

RAE IM FINALLY ANSWERING THIS IM SO SORRY LMAOOO life has been kicking mine ass

but i hope u enjoy what i whipped up for ya~~ i ADORE uuuuuu <333

Sentiment:

(warnings: spoilers for S.3, drinking obv, vomiting)

“Levi.” Hanji tried again, with little to no reaction. Levi’s head slumped over his palm. He looked drained from the movement, as his eyes trailed to the chilled window, not towards Hanji.

“How many have you had now?”

“I’m not drunk, Hanji. It doesn’t work. Never has…” His words trailed off, but he was not slurring, despite the collection of bottles lined up neatly by his boots. “Never worked on Kenny either. Though that didn’t slow him down.”

He took a larger bottle, one that was a dark burgundy in color and took a long pull of it. It was some sort of last ditch effort from Hanji’s perspective. They watched the alcohol miss his lips and trailed down the side of his neck, he didn’t seem to care. He wiped it with the back of his hand sluggishly.

The shutters of his window, only allowing a sliver of moonlight, rattling in the windy air.

“Levi.” Hanji began, but didn’t know what they could possibly say. “You know you can talk t—”

“What is there to talk about, Hanji? Fucking hell, everyone just wants to talk, talk, talk. You’re all the same,” he spit spitefully, “All those words mean nothing in the end.”

This wasn’t about them, Hanji knew that. Now, Levi was speaking almost exclusively about…

Erwin.

“I just want to know if you’re alright.”

“Well, then take a look.” Levi swung his arms out wide, giving them a good long look at his state. His shirt was unbuttoned and untucked, his eyes bloodshot and tired… God he looks exhausted.

Nearly a week had passed since that day and they were sure he hadn’t slept a wink. He was burning himself out on both ends.

“You need rest, Levi. Put down the bottle and let me help you to your room.”

“Help me? The fuck are you going to do to help me, Hanji? Huh?” He swung the bottle to his lips again, swallowed then waited for something, anything, to come of it. When nothing happened, he slammed it back on the wooden desk with a bang that made Hanji flinch. “You know? With all your brains, you really are fucking idiot sometimes.”

Hanji tried not to let it build up. They tried to hold back, to not let their exhaustion and repressed anger bubble. But it was futile.

“I’m an idiot? Oh, that’s fresh.”

“The fuck d’you mean by that?”

“Well which one of us chose to bring back a kid instead of our commander?”

Levi swallowed. He went pale, as if hearing the words aloud were just too much. It made this too real.

Hanji instantly regretted it. They wished they kept their big mouth shut. This was most certainly not the time to bring up Levi’s decision.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Levi.”

Hanji was tired too. They were under so much pressure to be a commander and… if they were honest, they had considered blaming that on Levi. It should be Erwin leading, not them.

But lashing out like that? At Levi, of all people? It wasn’t like them. Guilt filled their stomach like stones.

“No… No, you’re right,” his voice was frail, hollow. His head hung low.

“I’m not right. I don’t know why I said that. I’m tired Levi. We all are, okay? Let’s just go to bed.”

“I was being an asshole. I deserved it.” But the way he said it made Hanji’s skin chill. His eyes were vacant and cold yet guilt ridden, overwhelmed with guilt.

“Don’t…” Levi stood, leaning against the desk and picking up his bottles below him. “Don’t beat yourself up. You have every reason to resent me.”

“I don’t resent you, Levi. Being commander, the pressure of it… I'm just exhausted. I need you to be okay. You’re all I have left.” They looked at the floor, too ashamed to look towards Levi anymore. “I don’t resent you. Don’t say that.”

They heard a bottle tip on the desk, drawing their attention up again. The largest of the collective went rolling off the wooden surface and slammed with a sharp crack against the floor. Hanji jumped at the piercing sound.

Levi had his palms to the table, his face was pale as sweat dotted his forehead. He didn’t seem to notice the remaining alcohol coating his desk and reaching his sleeves. He blinked once, twice, then shook his head and squeezed his eyelids shut.

“What’s wrong?” Hanji finally asked, hesitantly approaching his desk. As they drew closer they could see the trembles coursing through their friend’s skin. “Levi. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” His words came through clenched teeth.

Hanji dared to reach towards him, they put a hand on Levi’s shivering shoulder and helped steady him.

“I feel…” He suddenly heaved in breaths, looking paler by the moment. Hanji’s heart started racing, their hand clenched tighter on his suit jacket. “Hanji I don’t… Hanji… I feel sick.”

“Sick?” Without missing a beat, they slapped a palm beneath his sweat ridden bangs. “You don’t feel warm. Actually, you feel really cold—”

“M-Move.” He shoved passed them, tripping over his legs as he reached out for the bin beside his desk. Huddled on the floor with it tightly pressed to his chest, Levi heaved.

“Oh.” Hanji peered down at him. “That kind of sick.”

Nothing came from Levi’s dry heaving. There were tears forming in the corner of his eyes when Hanji lowered themself to the ground. They put a soft hand on his back and started making slow circles.

“Fuck… I can’t… I hate… I hate t-this…”

“I know you do, clean freak. But you won’t feel better until you get it out.”

“S-Shut up. I’m not going to… I w-won’t…”

Just before he could finish his thought, Levi was sick several times in the bin clutched in his white knuckled grip. He swayed when he’d finished, relying on Hanji to keep him upright.

“Hey. Stay awake, Levi. You’re still looking pretty green.”

“Room’s… S-Spinnin’…” He blinked lazily, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused. “Wha… What’s…?”

“Levi?”

He lurched over the bin but not to vomit, he was falling. Hanji caught his shoulder and managed to scoop the bin off of his lap with their other hand before it could slip as well. In the process, Levi ended up sprawled on the floor with his face pressed to hardwood.

His breaths were raspy and shallow, like he could hardly breathe. Hanji was quick, they put down the bin and got to his side in a heartbeat, rattling Levi to try to wake him again.

“Come on, Shorty. You can’t sleep on the floor, okay?”

Was he drunk? Why hadn’t it hit him before?

Levi didn’t respond, aside from his harrowing breaths. Each one was getting farther apart from the last. His eyes were half lidded, but nearly rolled back in his skull.

He doesn’t get drunk. He said he never has. So what the hell is this?

“Levi. Levi, come on. Wake up, Levi!”

Hanji paused, their breath tightly held within their chest. They thought quickly, if Levi had never been able to get drunk before, maybe his body didn’t know its limit before reaching the level of alcohol poisoning. It was an insane theory but Levi was an insane specimen, and if he was on the verge of alcohol poisoning, there was only one option left. They would have to get rid of the alcohol.

All of it.

Without hesitating, Hanji put their fingers to Levi’s mouth, but before they could even go past his lips, Levi’s eyes went wide with revulsion and he pushed Hanji away, getting sick all over again, this time on the floor. Tears burned their way out of his eyes as he was sick over and over until he reverted back to dry heaves and short gasps.

“Fucking d’gusting… hands are… Dirty…”

Hanji couldn’t help but smirk awkwardly at that. It was relieving to hear that he was reacting as normal as possible even if that meant getting violently ill at the mere thought of their hands.

“How are ya feeling? Less on the verge of a coma?”

He whimpered quietly in between his wracking shivers. Levi seemed eager to look anywhere but in front of him where he’d been sick. His face was paler than they’d ever seen it.

“Alright, good to hear it. Let’s get you somewhere cleaner, alright?”

Hanji had to practically peel Levi to his feet. It was worthless to try to have him walk with legs like noodles below him. Painstakingly, they made it to the couch by his desk without Hanji dropping him.

They sighed, brushing the hair from Levi’s eyes. His face was a permanent grimace now, disgust clearly etched in his features.

“It’s okay. I’ll clean it. I’ll clean you up too, okay? Just stay put.”

It didn’t take long to find cleaning supplies in Levi’s storage closet, aside from miscellaneous weapons and stacks of organized, color coded files. They first thing they did was wet a rag and clean up Levi’s face. The cool water against his skin made him shiver more intensely and complain softly to Hanji between his clenched and clattering teeth.

“You’re trembling like a leaf, pal. Maybe… A blanket?” Levi responded to them with a shaky bob of his head, up and down. They looked around as Levi’s shivers only peaked in intensity. No blankets in the closet, none on the couch with him, of course the man wouldn’t allow himself such comforts. They tried not to roll their eyes.

Without any other choice, Hanji took his scouting cloak from where it hung on the coat rack. As they carried it over, Hanji stretched it to its full length.

This wasn’t Levi’s cloak.

No, it was much too large for him. It was tattered in places, sewn up with care in others. This was Erwin’s, without a doubt.

As soon as Hanji placed it over Levi’s shoulders, he clawed for its warmth and comfort like that of a starving animal pouncing on its prey. Devouring that warmth, Levi curled up on his side looking away from Hanji as they began cleaning the floor.

This man hadn’t given himself the comfort of a blanket for his office in the cold of winter, yet, he had taken a piece of his commander, a comfort beyond other comforts. And even so, it was a reminder of so much heart wrenching lost, it seemed tortuous for Levi to keep. It was a physical indication of a space to be filled, that never would be again. Never.

Once the floor was finally clean, Hanji made their way back over, kneeling beside Levi on the couch. His trembles were slowing in rhythm and his breathing seemed close enough to normal again. His condition was improving with the alcohol gone from his system. But he still won’t turn back to them.

“You kept it.”

There wasn’t much else Hanji could think to say. And Levi of course stayed quiet for a moment.

“‘Course…” Levi muttered finally. “Of c-course I did.”

“Your sentiment always manages to surprise me, Levi.”

They put a hand on his shoulder, rubbed it for what they would excuse for generating extra body heat. Really they just wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. Not really.

“Shut up, Four-Eyes.”

But he didn’t shoo their hand away as it continued to make comforting slow passes over his shoulder.

[kingkatsuki]

so we talkin abt squid game here huh 😳😳 do u mind if i contribute a little ✨angst✨ with bakugou 😳

if anyone hasn't watched/finished squid game pls stop reading this has some spoilers LMAO

anyways 😳 this is actually going off of what @/m00ns0ng said KJSXKJDF but imagine u and bakugou making it to the round with the marbles and even though he hasn't yet made his feelings for you clear, he immediately insists on partnering up with you because "there's no way you'll die if you're with the strongest one in the group"

(he's absolutely sure you're capable of holding your own but he still wants an excuse to be near you and doesn't wanna compete against you <3)

so then they begin to announce the game, and as soon as he hears "whoever gets all 20 marbles before the time is up wins", he instantly pales

you don't completely get it yet, turning to him as you ask which pair the two of you should compete against first. "ooh, i'm really good at playing marbles! we should win this easily!" you grin happily, only to falter when he doesn't respond when his usual smirk. "um, bakugou..? everything okay?"

"we're competing against each other," he mutters under his breath, still trying to process everything. but you still hear him, and blood drains from your face as soon as you put two and two together.

"wait... so that means..."

bakugou nearly breaks as you trail off, tears slowly brimming in your eyes. he had been planning to get out of there with you by his side, to split the money in half with you so you can take care of your family, to finally ask you to be his after avoiding his feelings for so long. but he would no longer get that chance now. by the time this game was over, either one or both of you would be dead. he doesn't want to face the truth. he doesn't want to accept the fact that he'll never be able to love you the way he wants to. but he has no choice. the clock on the wall is ticking, and he has to accept reality sooner or later. he takes a shaky breath, forcing himself to finish your sentence for you.

"for one of us, this is where it ends."

COOKS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO TO ME NO GOD NO.

The way he would fucking fight over who gets to survive though, he’s trying to make sure it’s you because you have so much more to live for. He started off at the beginning so hellbent on winning without a care for anyone else and now here he is actively offering up his life for you— and that’s how you know now that he feels the exact same about you as you do about him.

You started sharing a bed together at night which he says is for your protection, noticing the way other people are looking at you, but really it’s because he wants to be close to you. Trying to give you bits of his meals and drinks because you look like you need it more than him but he plays it off as him not liking the food or something.

The way he deliberately tries to swing any game you decide to play to decide a winner, trying to make it “fair” but it’ll never be fair when he loses on purpose.

You’re crying and pleading with him and somehow it just makes it even harder for him, and he wonders whether he even wants to get through this round if it means living the rest of his life without you.