#godzilla could also be a lesbian i think (i am a lesbian and i am projecting)

[sanchoyo]

godzilla is an asexual genderfluid icon 🤟

[alarawriting]

Fuuuck... accidentally posted to the wrong account against.

Have a thing I'm working on instead of a rant that belonged on my main blog, instead. ****

You are very confused about how you got here, and moreover, what here even is. The last thing you remember, you were cramming for your Organic Chemistry final, it was like 4 or 5 am – you were scared of looking at the clock too often, so you’d been avoiding it – and it was so hard to stay awake, despite the six espressos, three Jolt colas, five regular Cokes, three energy drinks, and caffeine pill you had taken, but you were trying to force yourself to read over the text and repeat to yourself everything it said. The exam was going to be at 8 am and you needed to do well. Your entire future depended on it. You remember having a massive headache and thinking you should go find some Advil, and then deciding against it because you couldn’t spare the time from studying.

Now you’re in a large… cavern? Throne room? Temple? The room’s enormous, with walls that look like white marble glittering with embedded crystal, and you are standing in front of a winged unicorn, a human-sized bunny rabbit who is standing on its haunches and has six – arms? Forelimbs? It looks kind of like what if Shiva was a fluffy grey bunny rabbit? – and a Chinese dragon. The Chinese dragon is small for a dragon, maybe 10 or 12 feet long but it’s coiled around itself, looped tightly enough that its head is about, maybe 8 feet high. The unicorn is the size of a racehorse. The three entities occupy a dais in the middle of the room, with some sort of flame-like background that is in rainbow colors, and oh shit, obviously you are dreaming. Fuck. You need to wake yourself up now.

“Leo Chen?” the unicorn asks. Her lips move, but not like a human saying the words “Leo Chen” would move. You can’t lip read but you know whatever it was her horse lips are saying, it’s not what you’re hearing. Like a bad dub. Shit. Too many Godzilla movies. Netflix dubs are a lot better than this.

“Look, this is great and all and I’m sure I would normally love this dream, but I’ve got to study for my orgo final that is happening something like three hours from now, so I think I need to wake up.”

You do not wake up. Normally when your dreams go lucid and you realize, oh right, Grandma’s actually dead, or Jesus I am about to get hit by a bus except this isn’t real and I’m dreaming, or whatever, you wake up. This is not always in your favor. The dream where Jeff Whittaker turned out to be gay and have a crush on you and the two of you were going to go on a date and then you remembered, wait, gay or not there is no way he’s gonna want to date me, and then you realized it was a dream, you tried very hard to not wake up, but it didn’t work. Realizing it’s a dream wakes you up. So why aren’t you waking up?

The Chinese dragon is laughing at you. Chortling. You didn’t think anyone ever really chortled, that was a word Lewis Carroll made up, but no, he’s chortling. “Oh, dear. Another one of the ‘it’s a dream’ ones.”

The bunny rabbit says, in a very butch lesbian voice, “Yeah, sorry, dude. It’s not a dream and you don’t have an orgo final anymore.”

“I do have an orgo final! In three hours! Or less, depending on how long I’ve been asleep!”

In a gentle, musical, feminine voice, the winged unicorn says, “I’m so sorry, Leo. You’re not asleep.”

“You’re dead,” the rabbit says.

The unicorn glares at the rabbit. “Petra, do you need to be so blunt about it?”

“Oh, you could have me tell him,” the Chinese dragon says. “You’re pushing up daisies! Not pining for the fjords! Kicked the bucket! You are an ex-human!”

“And you, Hundun, do not need to be cruel about it.” The unicorn looks right at you. For the first time you notice that she has predator eyes, facing you, not the side-eyes typical of a horse. Also, they are purple. This is plainly shit your brain got out of The Last Unicorn or maybe My Little Pony – in fact, with a winged white unicorn and a black and gold Chinese dragon, this is a lot like My Little Pony.

“No, I’m definitely dreaming,” you say confidently. “You look waaaay too much like characters from My Little Pony. Except the bunny, I don’t know where my brain got you.”

The Chinese dragon laughs again. He is not voice-acted by John de Lancie, but the general tone and pitch of his voice aren’t entirely dissimilar. “I knew it was going to bite us in the ass someday that we sent someone back.”

“Hush, Hundun. The young man is dealing with a lot right now.”

The rabbit says, “Look, I’m sorry. You’re dead and we brought you here because we need people like you.”

You roll your eyes. “Oh, Jesus, it’s an isekai. I’m the Chosen One? The Hero who’s destined to fight the Demon Lord or some shit like that? That’s not even vaguely believable. I’m an overweight biochem major shooting for medical school. I’ve never fought anything if you don’t count video games and frankly I don’t even like JRPGs where you swing a sword around and kill things. There is no way I would ever be some kind of special chosen one.”

“You’re right,” the rabbit says. “You’re not actually special.”

“At all,” the Chinese dragon says. “You are, in many ways, miserably average. I mean, I’ll give you this, you’re smart and hardworking. Well, at least the hard working part, given that you just gave yourself an aneurysm studying for an exam. I can’t help but think that if you were smart you could have avoided that.”

You’d had a terrible headache.

No. Bullshit. You’re not dead, this is an anxiety dream because of the headache making you feel like you were going to have a stroke. That’s a figure of speech. Guys your age do not actually have strokes, not even if they’ve been up for 32 hours writing papers and studying for exams and have been mainlining caffeine and energy drinks the entire time. The one dose of Adderall you were able to get from your roommate’s friend would have worn off a long time ago, that was more than 12 hours ago.

“Lemme guess,” you say. “You’re the Power of Kindness” – you point at the unicorn – “you’re the Power of Honesty—” the rabbit—“and you’re the Power of Being An Asshole.”

All three of them start laughing hysterically at this.

“He has you figured, Hundun,” the rabbit says.

“Oh, absolutely! And Eufy, all ‘pwetty pwease people don’t be mean to each over…’”

“It is true you’re fairly blunt, Petra,” the unicorn says, chuckling. “As for Hundun… we need to work together so let’s not go there.”

“It’s more like Order, Chaos and Harmony,” Petra, which is apparently the rabbit’s name, says.

“Called it. This is some kind of weird MLP fanfic my brain is making up,” you say.

“Or Change and Transformation, Stability, and the necessary balance between them that allows life to exist,” the unicorn says. “Or Rebellion, Doing What You’re Told, and Working Things Out. Conflict, Top-Down Unity via Enforcement, and Collaboration. Fire, earth and water.”

“So where’s air?” you ask skeptically.

Hundun the Chinese dragon sighs dramatically. “STEM students. Have you never heard of an analogy?”

“The Trains Run On Time, The Trains May Be Somewhat Delayed Because There Are a Lot of Trains, and When the Fuck Is This Train Showing Up?” Petra says.

“And you’re not making any of this up,” Hundun says, “because, trust me, you’re not that imaginative.”

[rainderthesomeone]

Its official :>

I know I've said it here and there on a few posts on transgender stuff, but its a official, I'm trans :D

TW: I talk about abuse and body dysphoria in this post, you dont have to read the rest, this section is just me sharing my experiences in my teenage years with a homophobic as hell republican as a father.

I've known for a while like ever since I was in Middle School, I had a really hard time fitting in with other girls, I tried making friends with them but they were all into make up and dress's and talking about boys and other stuff, I made at least one friend in middle school but they left me for a group of girly girls, and I wasn't interested in what they liked, I was into a lot of things they were not interested in, I was a huge nerd, I liked games, Godzilla, movie production, comics, marvel, star wars, fnaf, dinosaurs, bendy, (not saying girls dont like these things, girls can like anything guys :D women are amazing I know a lot of amazing girls now :>) nothing they liked and when they saw that they weren't interested in me anymore, but I connected with the guys a lot more, but they always saw me as the girl who tagged along and needed to be treated gently, at first I had no interest in the lgbtq community or the idea of being something else other than what I already was, I couldn't even really talk about, since the topic of gay and gender ideology wasn't allowed in the house I used to live in, my father hated gay people, said they were wired, and shouldn't be his words not mine "frolicking around and being queer" da hell dose that mean? im still baffled by that, he's also that kind man who thinks lesbians are cool and gay men shouldn't exist, it was that level of misogyny and homophobia, looking at it now, it was really disgusting and disturbing, but I was 12 I didn't know any better.

but than as I got older I became more aware, and started questioning things, I was 13 in my room, on my phone, and I found this artist who was drawing deltarune characters, deltarune was also a huge eye opener to the lgbtq comunity for me, since kris identified as none binary, but I found one of the oc's the artist made and they identified as A gender, and I was like whats that and looked into it more and more, and than I went from I dont know who or what I am, to maybe im a demi girl, maybe im A Gender, maybe im none binary and than boom, it clicked, I went with they/them/there's for a while, but I began to feel uncomfortable, by being refred to as her, she, I started hating wearing a braw and how scratchy and annoying it felt, I began hating my chest, I stopped wearing shorts due to my legs being abnormally hairy and that girls arent supposed to be hairy, at one point my dad was going to put me through a hole body hair removal process which would have removed all my body hair, and he was going to do it without me knowing, until my mother told me, she was the most supportive person I had while going through this, I was litteraly terrified to say no to my dad, but eventully he didint go through with it, but I still wasnt allowed to have body hair, every time we went shoe shopping he tried to get me pink shoes, and brands women would only use, we went on a cruise and we had to dress up, but I didint want to since I would have had to wear a dress, blue jeans were the only thing I had that was close to guy clothes, I wasnt allowed anything remotley masculine, only my mom would let me have products like old spice, and she took me guy clothe shopping but it had to be in secret from my father, who would hurt me and my mother if he found out, not physically well he would probably slap me, but only yell at my mother, which still wasnt good, eventully we left his sad ass, and now me and my mom live in a apartment together, and from there I could freely explore who I was, a month later I came out as trans to my mother right after we left, and im in therapy with an amazing therapist and I have amazing friends who dont fully understand but support me in every direction, only triggering thing Ive experinced so far was not being able to change my pronouns to he him lol, Curse you school bored! XD

anyway sorry for the lenghty slightly depressing post, I just wanted to share my story here since I have the platform to do so now, the freedom of speech is very rewarding and validating lol, origanlly this was going to be a post about "guys I got my first chest binder oh and btw im ftm" but I wanted to get this off my chest no pun intended and open myself up more on here, the trans comunity on tumblr has been amazing so far, especially the tf2 comunity on here, I truly feel welcomed and comfortable being here.

lot of grammar issues in here, grammars not my strong suit plus its 11 pm for me right now, im heading to bed lol, good night everyone!

[troglobite]

lasdfjlaksdfj

occasionally something will remind me of the Bloodlust that lurks beneath by weak pathetic surface

this cr/ator cl/sh 2 thing i suddenly cared abt bc i knew a few ppl in it and parts of it kinda kicked ass

now here i am

having spent a few days just like

"...what would it take for me to train to that level and be able to fight like that. what would it take."

my conclusion:

at least a year and a half with a physical therapist, a dr, and then ALSO a trainer--and likely a nutritionist who specializes in The Things That Are Wrong With Me in a NON-FATPHOBIC WAY

and i would have to have some kind of securing around my ribs and EVERY SINGLE JOINT taped up to protect against subluxes.

bc i gotta be honest, i miss being A Threat.

i was never in shape able to actually beat someone up

but i could throw a fucking punch correctly and with power.

i did cardio kickboxing and i could go an hour and be MORE energized. I MISS IT.

various things i would LOVE to do:

be a group exercise instructor

be a burlesque performer

play rugby

learn actual kickboxing or tae kwon do

things that i really shouldn't do, considering the hEDS:

everything i just listed above. except maybe the first two i could find some wiggle room.

but for real i just.

my therapist uncovered that i LOVE performance and all things associated. it makes me feel ALIVE.

the thing that i have uncovered is this:

i am a generally angry person. i get angry for ppl. for myself. i get annoyed at things. i complain a lot.

and i think it's bc.

i have a bloodlust, but i'm genuinely very kind and afraid of hurting ppl, so i need permission, consent, and guidelines/rules so that it's all above board.

but the problem is.

i have been so severely fucking nerfed

that my body is incapable of releasing that BLOODLUST.

i'm literally like if you took godzilla and shrunk it into a 20-year-old chihuahua.

I MUST DESTROY

but i am tiny bork and it's croaky bc i'm old and wobbly :(

and my mom suggested i should do violent video games and i was like NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. i need the physical sensation and ADRENALINE AND MUSCLE PUMPING POWER of doing something IN REAL LIFE. video games take away ALL of the pleasure and physical fulfillment and leave ONLY the SCARY ADRENALINE AND STRESS. they do not help!!! I MUST CRUSH!

plus! the whole performance thing i think is part of it! i don't wanna play a game by myself! i want someone or something in the world to be MATERIALLY AFFECTED BY MY ACTIONS. IN A COOL WAY. VIOLENCE!!!!!

it's absolutely bullshit and i feel like i live every day of my life wanting to do incredible ridiculous feats of physical prowess

i want to see how hard i can punch someone

i want to see how hard i can KICK someone

i wanna see how hard i can stand GETTING hit (with practice and skill)

how hard can i fall and still get back up to kick someone's ass?

i want to know what that feels like

but i am nearing 30 and freshly chronically ill and disabled, so it's basically. not in the cards.

and i am.

kind of really sad abt that.

it's frustrating bc like--

i mean i did gymnastics for a while as a kid.

the problem is that my inner ear/vestibular sense is VERY easily fucked up. i cannot do things where my body has to do flips.

but kicking and punching and dodging? even tackling? oh baby THAT i can do.

as long as my head stays oriented in the Normal Upright Position for the majority of the Situation, and i don't have to spin around 100 times in a row (i love you figure skating, but i would literally explode), i'm golden.

and so i stare wistfully from my bed

the same bed where

after laying on my side for abt an hour

i stood up and immediately subluxed a rip and cramped a muscle

that two weeks later is still not quite back to normal

and i just think abt how incredible it would feel to be a short fat half mexican genderqueer lesbian

and just.

kick some motherfuckers' asses

my god i wish. i WANT.

I WANT DESPERATELY.

i am LITERALLY the meme "i crave violence, mother"

I DO.

I CRAVE IT.

AND I TALKED TO MY MOM ABT IT TONIGHT!!!

someone pls help me i want to commit legal and consensual acts of aggression and violence but my body is falling apart please help me solve the issue

206 bones that don't like staying in place

100% fucked up collagen that doesn't wanna grow or work right

1 immune system that says AHHHHHHHHHH 24/7

1 billion(? unclear) mast cells that also go AHHHHHHHHH 24/7

100% muscles that want to commit acts of violence

can someone who is an expert please tell me where i went wrong i would like to punch someone

also to wrap this up i'm going to emphasize something that may have gotten buried:

i crave physical aggression and manual labor and violence

but only within: set boundaries, in situations where we're actually all safe, and we've all consented and given permission to go nuts, but within the given guidelines and expectations, and nothing more.

i mean even the simplest thing

i think it would be really fun to be a landscaper

HOWEVER

allergies and mcas

phobias

hEDS

autism and sensory processing disorder (bad textures and sounds)

PLEASE LET ME HAVE FUN!!!

NOWADAYS THE MOST ENJOYMENT I GET IS LIFTING HEAVY PACKAGES OR THE FULL BOTTLE OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT!!!!

SOMEONE LET ME FIGHT!!!!!!!

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Wild Things II (De Renzy, 1986)

I did not watch this so I could make a “We have Wild Things 2 (2004) at home” joke, because I haven’t seen that movie and this seems to be better liked by my Letterboxd circle going by the average ratings. So if anything, whenever I watch that, I might make a “We have Wild Things 2 (1986) at home” joke. Which probably won’t be for a while. Because it looks bad. Also I haven’t seen Wild Things (1998) yet.

Anyway, if you’re watching it for the usual reasons one watches these things, the performers are in fine form and the energy level is nicely varied both across and within scenes, so as to keep things from becoming repetitive. I do think the premises of the vignettes here are on average not as strong as in the earlier entry. The first one presented something of a twist or at least a novel arc with each of its vignettes, so that there was some surprise in how they played out. Here…let’s take the first segment, where Joanna Storm tells us about the importance of water in California as she tends to her garden. I am not a gardening expert so I cannot vouch for how much of a green thumb she has, but the garden looked green enough in the transfer I watched this on. (Also, I might be mistaken, but one of the plants looked like it could be the wacky tobaccy. The devil’s lettuce. Marry-hoo-wana. But I’ll keep that to myself as I don’t want Joanna Storm getting in trouble with Johnny Law.) So then she mentions some hunky guy comes up and delivers two big water bottles to her every day. So then the guy comes up, and she just straight up has sex with her. Which is fine, I think they should do what makes them happy, but there’s no twist to this. It’s perfectly possibly she found him attractive, but the movie doesn’t really set this up. The guy is already bringing her water, so it’s not like she’s fucking him for transactional reasons. I dunno, I needed more in the way of motivation. The scene is still super hot, by the way.

This one is hosted by Kari Foxx, who comes across as a lot more polished than Jill Ferrar in the original. Her style is more in line with John Leslie in Ball Busters, in that she keeps bringing up the phrase from the title in her dialogue, although she uses a generally accepted definition. (Unfortunately, she doesn’t go the Deathstalker II route and try to work in the entire title. “I’ll have my revenge, and wild things too.”) She even gets a segment of her own, with Leslie no less, which makes this something of a King Kong vs. Godzilla of loop carrier hosts. I will say that I missed the giddy, “let’s wing it” energy that Ferrar brought in the earlier movie, where half the fun is that she can’t seem to keep a straight face.

Anyway, I just rambled on about how the sketches aren’t quite as good and I didn’t like the hosting style quite as much either, so to keep things fair and balanced, here are some highlights:

This is made only a year after the first one, but has way more electro on the soundtrack. Not a complaint, just an observation.

Nikki Charm is cute as a button as she interviews pornstar Joey Silvera to write an article for career week. Among other things, Silvera vents about the difficulties of doing dialogue while mid-coitus and uses a number of football analogies.

Amber Lynn plays a bankrobber who has to relieve Dick Rambone of his blue balls so they can get back to robbing banks. She attempts an accent that seems to slip by the end of every sentence, but let’s just say there are other things to pay attention to. Like her ’30 bankrobber outfit.

Chris Chase’s shorts seem to defy the laws of physics as the inseam seems much too short to hide his equipment.

The lesbian threesome features three performers (Chanel Price, Shanna McCullough and Regine Bardot) who are successively about a foot apart in height. Had this been released a few years later, it could have been reshaped into a pornographic parody of Twins.

John Leslie plays some sort of doctor of sexual dysfunction, but is shown using the bathroom without washing his hands, which I assume is a violation of the Hippocratic Oath. Later he puts on mummy bandages and tries to peek up Kari Foxx’s skirt, before we get a hard cut to the two of them in flagrante delicto. As you can see, De Renzy understands the importance of editing. Foxx mentions she’s a narcissist who gets off on seeing herself in action, which seems like it’s setting up the same collapsing of performer, director and viewer in the Joanna Storm segment of Ball Busters, but the conflation is much less forceful here.

[masteroftheblade]

What are your favorite and least favorite animes? Why do you like/dislike them?

oh god here we go lmao 🤠👍 prepare for an entire novel as always lol

my favorite animes atm are Naruto, Dragon Ball, Attack on Titan, and Claymore. Overall, my favorite genre of anime is shonen (and in case you dont know what that is, its basically shows that are marketed to young boys. it'll have shit like superpowers and poorly written female characters). My least favorite genre is Shoujo (marketed at young girls). I honestly don't hate the entire genre, I just hate how much romance is in there since im pretty romance-repulsed. If there were more Shoujo series like Claymore, I'd probably be in love w/ it. I'll start talking about these shows individually, starting w/ Naruto.

1. Naruto.

Honestly, the only reason I started watching Naruto was because my friends peer pressured me into doing it, and it actually differed from what I expected it to be story-wise. The beginning of the show started off amazing; it had excellent world building, magic systems, interesting characters, and it attempted to address how messed up the whole shinobi system is. But then Naruto got on the front page of Shonen Jump, and everything went down from there. It started to focus more on cool fight scenes than the actual plot. I wont get too much into that, because you can literally find entire blogs dedicated to dissecting that, but Naruto killed itself w/ its own popularity. That said, I love the characters and world building and I can look past most of its flaws anyway.

Would I recommend reading/watching it? Yes, but only to say you did it for bragging rights. Don't go into watching Naruto if you want deep looks into imperialism and militarized governments, because you will get the complete opposite of that :P Also the best way to watch it is to watch it with friends.

2. Dragon Ball.

I only started watching DB about a month ago, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I think its a garbage series. The fight scenes have little to no weight to them, because no matter what, the protagonist of that episode will always succeed in some way. For example, when Goku (a 12 y/o boy) was fighting Giran (a 10ft tall godzilla man) and was getting his ass beat until Goku just... randomly grows back his tail that was cut off earlier and wins. We are never told why he grew back his tail, and i think he only gets it back so he can have a cool fight scene in a later episode. Goku can literally be battling genocidal gods and he will still always win. The show also goes out of its way to sexualize/show a female character being harrassed. Every. Fucking. Episode.

That said, it is a fun show, and I really enjoy watching it. Like Naruto, I really love the characters and the world they are in, I just hate the way it was handled, and its painfully obvious that DB was made by a bunch of old men in the 80s. Unlike Naruto, however, I really appreciate how simple it is. It doesn't force a narrative about space genocide or whatever being bad, and I'm very thankful because that kind of narrative would be absolutely botched in this kind of series. It's also nice to have a show that doesn't take itself too seriously. Shows like AOT are amazing and important, but those shows can be overwhelming with their heavy subject matter. I would only recommend watching DB if you want to see some really good art/character design. Don't take the show seriously, and you'll have a good time.

3.Attack On Titan.

This anime was actually the first I've ever seen! I saw the very first episode when it aired in 2014, so I'm definetely biased in that regard, but I still try to look at this show in the most objective way I can. This show does almost everything right. The pacing, the characters, the art, the plot, you name it. It takes a concept that looks silly on paper and turns it into this grueling story about war, politics, and the trauma of being a soldier. It never treats it's characters like they're only one-dimensional, or like they are there just for one purpose only. These characters feel human in a way Naruto and Dragon Ball could never be. But there is one thing that has me concerned about this show, and its about the weirdly anti-Semitic undertones it has.

You probably heard the controversy already, but it really effected the way people on the outside of the fandom view the series. The show is heavily inspired by European culture, specifically that of Germany, and there are an ethnic group of people called The Eldians in the show that are pretty anti-Semitic in this kind of setting. The Eldian people have the capability of turning into Titans, and the Titans are what divided the world and killed millions. As a result, another group of people started doing the shit the Nazis did to Jewish people, basically making the Eldians into this weird allegory for the holocaust??? Which was kind of a shock to me when I first realized that was the angle they were going for. I genuinely did not expect that considering what the series started off as. The foreshadowing is there and all, I just didn't think they'd use real-world events as inspiration.

Now, this actually has the complete opposite problem Naruto and DB had. Naruto and DB had amazing ideas and concepts that went to shit, AOT's whole holocaust narrative was trash from the beginning.

The show could have easily had a different kind of social/political commentary without even going near the holocaust narrative. It comes off as kind of a half assed idea that people put way too much effort in, so it's kind of in this weird grey-area between "modern anime masterpiece" and "what the fuck were they trying to get across with this show?". If you asked me what the moral of the show was, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

Now, because of the fact that the Eldians can literally turn into man-eating beasts, this makes the comparison of Jewish people and Eldians very racist, and it doesn't help that Japan is still full of legitimate Nazis, making the whole situation look even worse. Since I am not Jewish, I wont speak for other Jewish people. There is a very heated debate on whether the show is racist, and frankly I don't think it's within my right to say if it is or isn't. What I will say, is that I really loved the show and appreciated the social commentary it provided, and I think a lot of people would benefit from watching it, but I think it's also important to listen to Jewish people's views on the show. For this reason, I specifically avoid reblogging AOT stuff, but I do love that show and I wont hate on people who do reblog stuff from it. It's definitely not a light watch, but it does provide a lot of thinking material.

4. Claymore.

This. Show. Was. Amazing. But. Underrated.

First off, this is a shonen show that is led by a majority female cast and a female protagonist, and all of those women are badass swordwielding lesbians and I love it. Second, the art style is beautiful. Third, the story is really interesting from so many angles, so much so I am not even going to mention what its about because you dont need to know, you just need to watch it and see what happens. The first season was an absoloute ride of a show, and if you love shows like AOT or Berserk, you'll love Claymore. Honestly, this show was what AOT should have tried to be. It also has its fair share of militarized imperialist commentary, but this is the only show on this list that actually fucking critiques imperialist ideals and has a main character that actively refuses to participate in that kind of oppressive system, choosing to fight it all together.

But the show got fucking cancelled right before the first arc even finished. You can thank shows like Naruto for that 🙃🙃🙃

10/10 Would reccomend, but just be prepared to be left on a major cliffhanger. You can try reading the manga, but it's kind of hard to follow since all of the warrior girls look the same.

[calystarose]

My  (Adjusted) Top Twenty Favorite Movies of 2019

These movies are sorted by Ranking and then Alphabetically. Genres are mostly just my opinion/what my focus was on in the movie. This is a squee post, so I'm focusing only on what I loved about these movies. Titles link to the trailers I feel best represent the movie.

Abominable - This movie made my heart feel good. Yi's story, what she's going through and what she needs to learn and grow into is so amazing. Even watching the trailer makes me tear up because of how deeply this movie moved me. There is a lot of humor and a lot of heart and I love this movie very much.

Captain Marvel - The way Brie Larson walks in this, the way she moves her body is just so affirming and inspiring. I've never seen a woman move like that, not when she's not angry or in fight mode. She moves like Thor and it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I adore Maria & Monica, Nick & Phil. I love the call-backs to other movies, the 90s references, the cat! My face hurt from smiling after watching this.

Men In Black: International - I really like the characters in this movie a whole lot. I love that we watch Molly go from being a kid to being an adult determined to find the truth. I love how prickly and dorky she is. How smart she is. I love H. He's a complicated mess of a man that uses humor to hide pain and that's like catnip! I wrote fic for this, I was so enchanted.

Rocketman - This movie is an experience. It is very cathartic and validating. There is not one thing I'd change about it. This is the movie I consider the Best of 2019. The narrative structure, the songs used, the story told, the dialog, the acting, the singing, the dancing - it's all so perfectly done and satisfying. I feel almost drugged when I watch it, even just the trailer.

War (2019) - The action is over the top and full of unexpected twists. I've never gotten this emotionally invested in characters this quickly. About fifteen minutes into it I literally fell in love with this movie. I got that whole heady rush of new love. That giggly, silly head over heels feeling that even now can overwhelm me to the point where my body doesn't know if it wants to laugh or cry and so sometimes does both. It feels like the entire trajectory of my mental world got realigned after seeing this movie. I've started learning Hindi! It's available on Amazon Prime Video, if you're a member, and it is just so unrelentingly enjoyable I hope you'll go watch it. I'll be hosting a War Watch Party at Escapade because dear god, I want more people to know this amazing movie. This is my absolute favorite movie of the year.

Charlie's Angels (2019) - This was even better the second time, and fuck am I queer. :D But for real, this was fun and funny and exciting and...*exciting*. It's light-hearted, a little over the top, and pretty fast-paced. I adore the characters and the version of the world they've created. I look forward to watching it again.

Ready Or Not - SO GROSS! :D But exciting and funny, often in snarky and vicious ways. Very, very satisfying story with a great ending. I loved all the actors in this, just acting the FUCK out of their roles.

Stuber - This is big stupid fun. Lots of physical humor and the two leads have lovely chemistry together. The story is interesting and well done and the jokes almost never punch down. It makes me laugh hard, often. Like belly laughs.

Terminator: Dark Fate - I really love these characters. I first saw Sarah Connor when my sister somehow convinced our mom to let her take my 9 year-old self to see the first Terminator movie and I've loved her ever since. I adore the new characters of Grace and Dani Ramos. Their stories, what they go through/went through is compelling and entertaining. As a sapphic woman, this movie was very visually satisfying. I would kill to have more.

The Kitchen - I'm in love with Tiffany Haddish and it was so incredibly gratifying to get to see her in a role this meaty. Her character is utterly fascinating to me and I could watch hours more of just her. Melissa's character is amazing as well, strong and sturdy like an ox who can and will trample anyone that fucks with her. Elizabeth's character is oddly sweet and relatably crazy. This movie has weight and dimension, I can feel it in a sense.

Black Christmas - I have not seen either of the earlier versions of this movie, but I really loved how unapologetically 'misandrist' this version is. There are some heavy parts, some sharp social commentary, and some light-heartedness. But best of all there are genuine moments of triumph that were incredibly validating to the rage that I've felt from times I've been helpless. I really liked the climax of the movie.

Booksmart - My favorite part of this movie is probably Billie Lourd's character Gigi. She is a batshit crazy delight. But I also loved the friendship between the two lead characters, Amy & Molly. And it was so neat to see Kaitlyn Dever in this role. Lots of laughs and lots of fun. It's nice having a queer character in a movie where it's not all about them being queer. Amy's a nerdy lesbian teenager and feels like a real person.

Pokémon Detective Pikachu - This movie is just so damn beautiful to look at. I love the mix of animation and real world. I love the mystery. Pikachu was so freaking adorable. Justice Smith did a lovely job talking to himself. :D

Godzilla: King Of Monsters - I LOVE THESE KAIJU! Sincerely, I just adore them. Mothra is SO PRETTY and Godzilla is so brave! This was a very fun popcorn movie that genuinely entertained and thrilled me. We saw it on the IMAX screen and it was AMAZING. :D

Happy Death Day 2U - Horror-Comedy Groundhog's Day is how I sum this up. It's so much fun and utterly hilarious. I really like Tree, she's shouty and smart and funny.

Harriet - Cynthia Erivo is a gift. This movie was so compelling and moving. The narrative, and visual, focus keeps the emotion and stakes high without ever descending into voyeurism. Beautiful to listen to as well.

Hustlers - The complicated and complex relationship between Ramona and Destiny is the heart of this movie and I find it endlessly fascinating. The movie settled in my tummy afterward, making me think.

Nancy Drew & The Hidden Staircase - This was a really good mystery and a fun movie. The characters are likable and Nancy is adorable.

Shazam! - I really enjoyed this. I liked the kid Billy, liked his story and journey and how he grows. I love the foster family. The darker aspects of the story were handled well, I feel. I loved the ending. Great kid actors.

Spider-Man: Far From Home - It's impossible to not like Tom Holland's Peter. He's adorable and feels authentically young. I adore MJ's everything, the nerdy-dorky-macabre thing she does is so relatable. :D Marisa Tomei remains one of my favorite actors and she's so beautiful! 

We've seen 66 different movies in the theatre this year, so far, but the top 20 isn't going to change given what's left to see.  We saw 68 unique movies in the theatre this year, five of the movies were not released this year (4 from last year & The Goonies), so I disqualified them for this list. We were able to do this because we had first the AMC A-List & then Regal Unlimited movie club memberships. Some of the movies we saw multiple times. These are movies that I liked the best, that entertained me the most, that I would most often be up for rewatching or a combination of that. This has been a crazy experience and I'm thankful to my bff delibby for letting me come along on the ride. (The adjustment is dropping Knives Out from the top 20 and putting Black Christmas in.)

[saraa-lancee]

So what issues would you like them to tackle that hasn’t already been done on the show before?

(I just want to say this is my first ask ever and I've been here since... God maybe 2013? So thank you!!)

I would LOVE to see a new dimension to sexuality. I'm also casually of the team that's "Sara herself should say Bisexual" because Bisexual has only been said once on screen and Nate said it casually.. We have a scene where Sara says tells Nurse Lindsay that Lesbian isn't a bad word yet the show kinda doesn't act that way about Bi. Bi erasure is an issue that would be interesting-- since Sara is with Ava, it would be neat to have some line of "i didn't pick a team" or just along the lines of Still Bi With A Woman.

(They also missed an opertunity with Charlie to use neutral pronouns of some kind)--> a discussion further on gender identity would be cool too. There are casual set ups for this with Charlie, like in the Shakespeare episode, but nothing is ever really taken completely seriously or honestly even explicitly. I would really enjoy a nonbinary or intersex narrative in this particular context because I feel like the team of legends (as the people the characters are) would fit really nicely with that. But it would be cool to have a trans character that Gideon helps? Because the arrowverse trans character (in Supergirl-- Nia) is already transitioned. It would be cool to have a transitioning characer in a really casual way even (a particular scenario would be New Character leaving sickbey while someone else walks in. Other person asked if New is feeling OK and New just says like "oh yeah, just my hormones.). But yeah anything with gender identity.

I always hunger for more disability stories, but based on how they Wrote Sara's blindness... yikes. I remember watching a panel or something on YouTube about how Caity was hoping that Sara was at least going to have a cane or be shown to struggle with some stuff, but the writers ignored all of that. So its kind of touchy based on that but I think it would be really neat to have someone with a prosthetic (or even just an amputation, someone born without a limb, etc.)-- it would be a beautiful narrative about 'Gideon can literally grow you a new arm' and that character firmly saying no, this is me, having this difference doesn't make me less, you aren't "fixing" me because I'm not broken, I like myself, etc, whatever.

I know that for me personally one of the best things about the show is that Sara and Ava don't have to come out, and everyone just treats them like normal, but I think some kind of homophobia narrative would be good, not to a big extent but just to the extent like in S1 when Kendra and Ray move in 1950s and that dynamic only with the girls. Like, for the show to acknowledge homophobia in such a direct way, as they did with interracial relationships. This beyond the obvious homophobia of the Nazis. (I personally can't think of an aspect where its implied, but sometimes I can miss or misinterpret implicated stuff like that).

I would love to see a return to POC cultures and narratives (narratives outside of racism) S1 with Kendra and Carter and the Egyptian culture aspect, Amaya and Zambesi aspect. We see a tad bit of this with Zari and the bollywood scene, and Japan post WW2, but they are more side aspects now. It would be neat to go to India or other places in southeast Asia (culturally), or Central/South America. Overall, I would just like to see more of that cultural aspect because human culture is something that interests me a lot and I feel like can be easily casually thrown in with time travel--- traditional clothes, buildings, and ideals (an example of the ideals is the discussion in feudal Japan about the cultures views on death).

I feel like there was a lot of potential with Hank and Sara to continue that discussion about women in power. Yes, we have discussed this before. We do it a lot in second season with the JSA and even Jonah Hex but I think Hank had a lot of potential to add a dimension to that discussion. (honestly see next paragraph for more). That whole episode with the Minotaur i would have loved if they'd been a bit more explicit with that-- yes, obviously a woman can be in charge (in Hanks mind) but he has the right to walk in there and take over because her experience doesn't matter and also we will do whatever he wants. Sara spends almost the whole time just rolling her eyes and bitting her tongue besides a light quip in the beginning asking if a girls ever punched him. in the past Sara has literally exerted dominance over men so I was just kind of disappointed with that dynamic. I love the character of Sara as an "unconventional woman" or a "strange friend" and I've noticed comments like that pretty much stopped after the 3rd season. I know some people hated those comments but I think they can be good. I enjoyed them and would like to see them again because it's literally just Sara being unapologetically herself, a strong woman, doing whatever she does, no matter how weird or unconventional it is. (Which is an integral part of Saras character to me)

BUT its also not necessarily "new" issues. Issues don't go away in real life-- we had multiple issues about Race in America with Jax, from different points in history (Slavery and the 1950s). Jax even mentions how he still experiences Rascism today. The issues don't go away and just because they are mentioned once doesn't mean they can't (and shouldn't) be examined from other points in history. IE just because the show has talked about it before doesn't mean we can't talk about it again from a different angle and/or perspective.

I see a lot of potential with Astra with the racism thing (people are nicer to me in literal Hell) but it also would have been interesting with Mona, to show a different type of racism would have been INCREDIBLE.

I also can think of maybe a scene or two that would have just been a nice touch with Zari (either one, but I have a soft spot for Zari 1.0, and I think with her life as an illegal Muslim would have been an enriching perspective) as a Muslim. They are very good to her character in the way that she obviously abstains from Liquor and Pork, and observes Ramadan. But one thing that would have been interesting is for Zari to experience early 2000s (or honesty still right now) xenophobia. Especially Z1 since being a Muslim is Illegal in 2045 there was a lot of emotional potential there. (Although I feel like I can understand why the writers didn't want to touch that because of current conflicts).

Since we're going to outer space (that was actually confirmed right? Or was it just hinted and I misread??), I think issues will have to be character driven rather than time period driven. But therin we have a lot of potential-- a race of aliens without distinct genders (wait, so your worth can be dictated based off of your genitals?? Plus sexuality stuff there), aliens confused about race (I don't understand some of your skins are different colors... and your people treat each other differently based on this?). We could introduce a matriarchal society, which the crew with Captain Lance feel particularly unphased by. Perhaps we have a completely pacifist society or aliens made of inorganic materials (debates about what constitutes as alive, what lives are meaningful, etc.) You get the idea(I adore star trek so you can imagine my glee thinking about some of those scenarios).

I think for me, the hard shift to comedy was at the expense of some of my favorite aspects of the show and also things that set it apart. This Found Family is so rewarding because they are all so so different but those differences enrich each other. They become better people and feel at home without having to change who they fundamentally are. And they are whoever they want to be. I feel like now the show has simply had an incredibly jarring tone shift thats trying too hard to be a comedy. (This one is just an opinion but a joke among all the serious is always just a lot more funny to me. I find myself laughing more at one liners and random stuff in the early seasons. Now it feels like 'ok, what's the next ridiculous thing.')

I think... humanity is pretty dark. But humanity also rises above. This is why I adore the episode from post WW2 Japan and to me it personally really stands out from other episodes in s4/s5. The idea of creating and destroying, pain and sadness locked inside, terror and hatred for the beings you share the planet with. That pain creates monsters. Sometimes by accident. (Sara's pain turned her into the version of herself she called a monster.). And also about embracing your passions (Mick hiding his writing). In that episode, we still have jokes about Godzilla. Garima appears and its hilarious. But it's also an incredibly powerful narrative about pain and fear and shame and gives a perspective that the western audience wouldnt... necessarily think about (the actual consequences and what the bomb actually literally did.).

That darkness makes the light so much more meaningful. If everything becomes light... than why are we still fighting?

Sorry if this is jumbled, I'm on mobile so.

Also, sorry if this is a rant or whatever. I am very passionate about this topic and oh boy if I was on a computer and had the time I'd probably repondd with a link to a doc.

[gamerphonzy]

Just copy/pasting this format was an ordeal on mobile

Tagged by: @superinframan

Instructions: Tag 10 followers you want to get to know better

Name: Jared Fattmann. Yes, really.

Gender: When's a man a man? What makes a man a man? Am I a man? Yes, technically I am.

Star Sign: Leo, possibly Virgo cusp (different Google results have told me the cusp starts on either the 19th or the 21st, I'm on the 20th)

Height: 6'4"

Sexuality: I mean, according to several posts on here, lesbian, but let's just stick with straight.

Hogwarts House: if you'd asked me when I was 11 (that's the right age for a 1st year, right? I only read the 1st book), Ravenclaw; realistically with adult self-awareness, Hufflepuff.

Favorite Animal: just ask a parent to choose a favorite child, why dontcha. Mantis shrimp are really neat, dogs are too good for us, cats are our rightful overlords, dunkleosteus is too metal for teeth, I could go on.

Average Hours of Sleep: I tend to get by on 1-3 2-5 hour naps per day? More naps generally means less hours per nap.

Blankets You Sleep With: I’ve got fancy eucalyptus sheets and then just some grey thing from Wal-Mart over that.

Dream Job: as a kid, Godzilla suit actor; most of my adult life, porn star; just lately, night auditor (my actual job) but at a nicer hotel in a more interesting city.

When I Made My Blog: 2012, but I didn't start actually posting until at least 2014.

Followers: 332. Maybe 20 of those actually interact. Usually more like 5.

Why I Made a Tumblr: I started a lot of social media that I quickly abandoned around that same time. I think I have a twitter I haven't touched in years? Got back into Tumblr later because I had a roommate that kept talking about hers.

Reasons for my URL: Phonzy is a longstanding Internet handle of mine, shortened (by one character, but whatever) from Styphon (I used to be waaay too into Rifts). Gamer stuck on the front because just Phonzy was already taken and gamergate wasn't a thing yet (and then never changed because that's letting the terrorists win or something. See also: keeping my last name)

People Id Love to Get to Know: lots, but I don't want to bother them?

[mooifyourecows]

The playlist anon strikes again! I absolutely enjoyed your playlists. Trust me. I LOVE THEM. Btw I am curious about ALL of them. Like the titles ‘ Push and pull’, ‘ force of impact’ , ‘something special’ , ‘hit below the belt like EVERYTHING IS INTRIGUING . If you don’t mind could you share a master post regarding all your WIPs. Like just short summaries. Only if you wanna I mean. No pressure at all. Like even a sentence about them is enough. Once again,I love your fics and playlists!

asdfjhsdf you’re a doll and i love you

I don’t mind giving some short summaries for all my WIPs. Uhm... i have more WIPs than I have playlists for them, so I’ll just go through the playlists and talk about those ones but if you wanna hear about the playlist-less ones too then i wouldnt mind sharing those either.

salonpas: oh man this is an angsty boy. (which is why Blue October dominates the playlist) Daichi is married and has a young son. like ehh... 5? ish? His wife is divorcing him and demanding full custody. He’s close friends with Oikawa, who owns a cafe that shares a glass wall with Iwaizumi’s hair salon, at which Suga is a hairdresser. Suga, who is dealing with his own issues with a stalker ex boyfriend, falls for Daichi at first sight. He and the others convince Daichi to fight for custody over the kid and it’s angsty because wife is a selfish meanie head but it’s also cute because Suga only manages to keep his job at the salon because he’s GREAT at cutting children’s hair and he bonds with Daichi’s son and it’s doki doki sickly sweet and ew gross

Force of Impact: this is my playlist for my original story that i’m supposed to be writing for Nanowrimo right now but i’m slacking off instead because i’m a lazy loser, RIP. It’s got gays, lesbians, a tragic backstory, MMA, a sassy 4th grader with a prosthetic leg, a crotchety old Pakistani retiree with a soft spot for raccoons, and a rabbit named Missile Launcher. what more could you need?

Just Another: this is the fic i’m going to start posting in December, so I won’t give much away about it. I’ll just say that it’s canon compliant, takes place between the 3rd and 4th season of the anime, and has a really good dad in it like seriously i want to marry that man

Something Special: hnn this is my major fantasy/supernatural DaiSuga fic. It’s a continuation of my entry for Day 6 of DaiSuga Week 2017. It’s essentially about Suga, who has the ability to take a form and “something special” from other beings. He’s on the run and is traveling around the world gathering up forms and winds up getting picked up by a drunk Daichi one night, who thinks he is a lost child. Suga gets immediately attached to him and is insistent that Daichi will protect him so poor human Daichi gets roped into the adventure and terror of realizing that just about every person in his life is some supernatural/fantasy creature in disguise and he does not have a fun time. Godzilla may or may not have a cameo.

Plow Me: heh, ignore the name, that’ll change. This one is inspired by Stardew Valley because I’m Stardew Valley trash okay SUE. ME. Suga lives in a small rural town with the rest of the Karasuno characters (minus Daichi) when a new farmer moves to the old farm outside of town (there he is). Suga is bored with the small town life and basically searches for entertainment anywhere he can find it. Daichi becomes his newest victim. Cue cute farm fluff and stuff. But then cue angst because some other people in town get jealous that Suga’s time is being taken up by the new guy so they do some research and find out about Daichi’s angsty backstory/reason why he- a city kid- is suddenly running a farm in the middle of nowhere. there will probably be a skinny dipping at a waterfall scene eventually. you know. for science. Oh and Tsukishima is the main side character because i don’t give him enough love and it’s gonna be great, friends

Sweetheart: this is probably my favorite playlist. all the songs just come together to really... fit. I love the mood. I listen to it all the time, regardless of whether I’m working on this WIP or not. The WIP itself was supposed to be a birthday present for @mrssugawarakoushi last year but I suddenly decided it deserved a full length fic and didn’t manage to write it in time. It’s on the backburner for now but I hope to finish writing it in the near future. The first part of it was posted as Day 5 of DaiSuga Week 2018. Suga is a famous actor who shows up randomly at Daichi’s house after years of them not seeing/talking to each other since Suga disappeared in high school. It’s a lot of mutual pining and things left unspoken. I took some inspiration from Bojack Horseman surrounding the darker side of fame and the pressures put on child actors, namely the child actors who wind up being forced into the roles of “sex symbols” in their teenage years. The angst is balanced out with the wacky shenanigans of the tenants of Daichi’s shared home, so it’s not all melancholy, I promise.

and the emi goes to: this is pure domestic fluff. the sweetest, fluffiest thing i’ll ever write. it’s another single dad AU, but Suga is the single dad this time and it only has a fraction of the angst as the other one does. it’s set in the US and Daichi is a 6th grade English teacher. One day he splits up a fight started by the shyest girl in his class, Emi. Her dad is called to come into the school and Daichi meets Suga. they become friends and soon after, Daichi develops a crush on him. Suga is oblivious to his feelings, but Daichi is funny so he takes every opportunity to spend time with him if not for any reason other than to bully him. Commence slow burn. I’ve written 130,000 words of this fic so far and there hasn’t even been a kiss. Suga is still oblivious as all hell but it’s adorable and we stan. there will eventually be some family related angst but you gotta wade through the thickest cotton candy fluff to get to it and omg i want to write some more of this story now rip me

Hit Below the Belt: this fic idea was inspired by the MV for GD and T.O.P’s song “Zutter”. I watched it like ten times and then thought, “I want a Kenma and Daichi best friend assassin story. Basically, Daichi and Kenma grew up on the streets together and are now professional bad bois. They get hired by a disgruntled wife(Mika) to catch the mistress of her politician husband(Kuroo) and wind up capturing Suga, who insists that he and Kuroo are only friends and Mika definitely knows that. They take him to where they were supposed to make the trade for their payment, just to get ambushed by a group of people that Kenma owes a LOT of money to, on account of him scamming their underground gambling ring and running away with a big ol bag of cash like a wacky cartoon bank robber. Kenma is captured and Daichi and Suga team up to follow the trail of Kuroo, who is also missing. Along the way they gotta get the help of other crime boys (Daishou and Bokuto and maybe Oikawa i dunno) while Kenma is held captive with Kuroo, who definitely saw Mika’s betrayal coming and isn’t really all that mad about it because he totally deserved it by being stinky and bad with their money. the end

Push and Pull: this is my totally original “super power” AU. Suga has healing abilities and hates himself for it because his entire family has incredible powers that make them leaders as heroes. His mother resents him for his weakness and takes every opportunity to let him know how big of a disappointment he is to the family, despite healing being one of the most rare and coveted abilities in the world. Speaking of rare though, Daichi is a Berserker. Which basically means that he occasionally gets pushed into an irrational state in which his strength skyrockets and he feels no pain and he wreaks havoc until he can pull himself back out. Total Hulk mode, my dude. Suga sees them as a perfect pair. Daichi is destruction and Suga is restoration. What Daichi destroys, Suga can fix. Berserkers are widely feared though. The reason they’re rare is because they’ve been hunted nearly to extinction by the totally cleverly named “Hunters”. Wow, give me an award for thinking up that one, fellas. Problem is: Suga’s dad is the most renowned Hunter in the entire country. Draaaamaaaaaaa~ Cue angst about people being wary of Daichi and not wanting to allow him to be a hero. Cue also totally gay soulmate “you and I were meant to be together forever” bullshit that will most definitely be put to the test on more than one occasion. Also cue Suga having a really good dad because in this house we stan good daddies ammiright boys

Before I Go: this started out as an original story idea but then i was having a lot of fun writing DaiSuga fanfic that I was like, “i’m gonna convert this into a DaiSuga fanfic” but then i decided it worked better with my original characters instead so it’s back to being an original story. It’s sad. Like... really sad. It involves afterlife stuff. It’s about what it means to be alive and it’s sad. It makes me tear up just thinking about it because it’s very heart wrenching. Saddest thing I’ll ever write. But hopefully it will also be beautiful. I want it to be beautiful. I want it to be important and stick in people’s heads. I want people to say that it’s sad but it’s beautiful and that life is hard and scary but really, truly worth living. I’ve written the most important dialogue of the story already and it’s sad. And it makes me cry. But I’m really proud of it and I hope to someday write the rest of the story and people will read it and like it a lot, even though it’s sad.

Welp, that’s the end of the playlists. Thanks for reading, I love you okay bye