#gonna be bouncin tho

[n1cholaswang]

P1HARMONY AS DRUGS

description: self explanatory. piwon members as drugs ive done before. for legal reasons, this is a joke and i have never done a drug in my life

a/n: THIS IS FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES (and a filler post). DONT TAKE ANY OF THIS SERIOUSLY.

THEO as ALCOHOL

• dangerous.

• do not let this man drive

• y'all will NOT make it home

• he just comes off as a drinker to me

• the park jimin of p1harmony

• give him 2 shots of whatever and bro will be the life of the party

• im talkin like ... twerkin, pole dancin, stripin in the club, flirtin with anybody and anything

• even inanimate objects 😕

• if y'all been drunk before, yk damn well y'all be trippin over anything and laughin your ass off

• y'all remember that live with keeho when he beat bro tf up?

• that's him drunk but 20 times worse.

• steer clear of drunk theo.

KEEHO as EDIBLES

• chill

• best music taste in p1h

• funny asl and for what

• ooh but don't leave bro alone in your kitchen

• he gon cook up the most random thing

• but you BEST BELIEVE it's smackin.

• watch a movie with him and y'all would be pausin it every two seconds cause you can't read the subtitles fast enough

• i was gonna just put straight bud instead of an edible but nah

• keeho gives me "made edibles for a living pre-korea" vibes

• keeho 🤝 vernon

• they prolly both sold edibles out the garage for some cash

JIUNG as WEED

• fellow stoners, just imagine this with me.

• driving late at night with jiung, smoking blunt after blunt, blasting music, laughing at each other's jokes, going to eat out when y'all get hungry, giving each other guns at traffic lights, a lil messy wet kisses while blowing smoke into each other's mouths <3333

• lord gimme a jiung.

• idk

• i can't explain it but jiung as weed just makes sense

• the chillest of chill

• literally will let anything slide

• even if you murder somebody in his living room

• "it's cool, we'll clean it up"

• god i love him.

• will make you fall in love with music fr.

• best music taste pt 2

• ugh and ik he can roll well and fast 😩

• I WANT HIM SO BAD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INTAK as OXYCONTIN

• now i've only done this once

• and it was while i was high off bud too so bare with me

• chill pt 2

• but in a chaotic way ????

• will talk your goddamn ear off about the most random things

• im not kidding.

• he will talk about what he did on november 6, 2008 even if he don't remember fully

• you wanna know his life story?

• give this man an oxy and LORD you will feel like YOU raised him

• oversharing.

• so. much. oversharing.

• he's cute tho so we'll let it happen

• watching youtube until y'all fall asleep 🫶

SOUL as COCAINE

• ...

• don't y'all EVER give lil shosho a bump.

• he will be bouncin and dancin off the walls.

• talkin your ear off pt 2

• but in japanese

• he don't care if you know the language or not

• bitch you gon listen to what he has to say 👿

• twerking machine.

• like stop him please.

• too much ass

• and he be throwin that shit in a circle

• like OKAY NEPHEW I SEE YOU

• but also pls stop too much energy

• will talk to you and tell you about his memories like he was japan's el chapo

• like,,, "yeah i stole a pen from a bank then stabbed that pen into someone's backpack because they told me i was stupid"

• ... okay lil psycho

• you do what you want babe <3

JONGSEOB as WEED + COKE

• i've only had this combo like,, thrice ???

• and bro.

• it's the most jongseob experience ever

• i remembered everything from my childhood 💀

• nah but fr

• jongseob as the combination of both bud and soft is also dangerous

• but not theo-putting-your-life-in-danger dangerous

• im talkin,,, like

• brent faiyaz dangerous

• y'all would smoke a blunt, do a bump them smoke another blunt like it's all normal

• he'll tell you just about anything

• he's one of those talkative people off coke

• sharing his experience training at yg compared to training at fnc

• working with the trainees at yg compared to working with the trainees at fnc and his current members

• fanboying over newt <33333.

• talkin on and on about his passion for music, while playing music

• specifically brent faiyaz cause ik his smokin playlist is fire.

• doin bumps with j cole playin 😻

• "the qualities that make up the people who listen to my music are like... empathetic narcissism, attention to detail, over indulgent personality when it comes to... sex and drugs and... if you don't get it, you don't get it. but if you get it, it's cause you livin"

• and he lives by that brent faiyaz quote.

• trippin tf out over asap rocky's lsd mv 💀

• "i know im folded but... 😦"

[heroquills-a]

   ❝‘Cause the pressures of this world, they can take their toll.

   And it can be tough to get away when we take a-hold.

   The only way to break free is to break the mold.

   Y’can’t stop now, lock in load. Come on don’t stop now, lock and load ~ !❞

[tazditto]

If you’re not planning a mavwon fic, you better be. Gimme some illiterate boys.

*shoving my google docs under my bed* wha-... what.... who is mavwon idk a hardwon Or a mavrus.................. 

[fandomfluffandfuck]

reunion sex based off this fanart???

"i thought you were smaller"

bucky not knowing what to do with this absolute beefcake in front of him, head still swim-y from being tied up. he's lowkey convinced that he's died n gone to heaven (yes, he loves steve. yes, he loves steve's tiny body. yes, he also loves the idea that steve can snap him in half like a toothpick now) since this giant fucking hunk just swooped in & carried him away

could go either way.

sudden sub!bucky bc holy shit steve's enormous, just droppin' to his knees and sucking him off right there. maybe bouncin' on steve's pretty cock in the tents, not givin' a single fuck who can hear bc he's captain america's baby boy and no one's gonna fuck with him

or subby!beefy!steve being all shy back at camp in front of his husband boyfriend bc ,, this body is still new n uncomfy n he's not sure bucky'll love him anymore now that he's big :((( but bucky shows him All Of The Ways he loves his stevie baby

aidjfkskfngkkakf sorry i've been MIA. went on vacation, had no cell service, and my muse has kinda disappeared. that post def helped tho 👀

anyway. cheers! love u -🎁

Okay YEP

So that fanart. Yes. Yes. Yes. Tiny Steve sitting in Uniformed Up Bucky's lap. Delicious. Y’know what's also delicious-?

The idea that seems to float around the fandom that Bucky thinks he is having a fever dream after Steve rescues him but still just goes with it because- LOOK AT THIS MAN. I’M SO FUCKING THIRSTY FOR THIS MAN THAT I WILL FOLLOW HIM ANYWHERE, EVEN WHEN HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE HIMSELF. 

(Also “beefcake” is the exact way to describe post serum-Steve haha)

Option 1- Sub!Bucky

Option 2- Sub!Big!Steve (btw i love love love that shy, sorta still uncomfy Steve hc)

Okay, so, before we talk about either:

if we’re going off of that delicious fucking fanart, which we are, then Steve was a bottom pre-serum and with the pretty blush and the hand on the hip… well, in my mind it looks like something that Bucky charmed Steve into doing, y'know? Used his pretty smirk- his pretty mouth to convince Steve to do it. Murmuring in his ear with that smooth Brooklyn drawl and soothing his anxieties about it (really his anxieties about not looking good enough to ride Bucky like that since he doesn’t have much of an ass to speak of from being so skinny) by touching all of his lovely skin. So-

Clearly I’m leaning more towards sub!big!Steve. 

However!

Whatever Bucky wants at this point, Steve will GLADLY give to Bucky.

And so when Bucky keeps sneaking looks at him, his cheeks heating and his mouth dropping open a little to reveal his pink, pink tongue as he mouth dries out… Steve knows what he wants. And he comes to realize that, yes, he very much would like that too. He wants to fuck Bucky. He wants to feel him around his dick, alive and well. Well especially because he’s moaning and swearing in pleasure, not pain, melting on his cock. 

Yes.

As much as Bucky would love to drop to his knees and choke on whatever fucking baseball bat Steve is surely now packing in his stupid red white and blue uniform pants, his injuries are a thing. And like all of the other liberated prisoners, the people from the med tent are eagerly pulling at them, urging them to rest and to let them check them over. 

By the time Bucky is cleared and allowed back to the regular population of the camp because he is, in fact, not dying, it’s morning. Meaning there aren’t a lot of people around anymore… no one is sleeping or too terribly near them.

Steve’s around though. 

When Bucky finds him, he’s at first pretty sure he just wants Steve’s cock in his mouth, wants to suck him off and have him inside him that way, BUT as he gets onto his knees and he’s tasting Steve’s hot length, having it slide thickly in and out of his lips as Steve swears, throwing his head back yet trying to stay quiet, biting his own fist but still making awed assertions of how good it feels all of the sudden. How much more he can feel thanks to the serum. Then suddenly when Steve’s hips jerk forward into his mouth, moving and thrusting even under all of the strength and weight that Bucky can put behind trying to hold him back… suddenly he wants Steve actually, actually inside him. He wants to be where he had Stevie what feels like a lifetime ago. He wants to be thrown around and held. He wants to be safe. He wants to feel what those hips can do, pounding him into the nearest possible surface.

While still getting his first blow job in this new body: Steve whimpers and flounders with his hands, not wants to grab onto anything for fear of breaking it because all he can think about is the tightening, pulsing, aching need to cum, telling him that he’s about to finish, voice shaking. Confessing to Bucky louder than he should that he can't take it. It's too much. He's gonna cum. Right now.

And because they don’t yet know about his quick recovery or his ability to stay hard; Bucky uses this to his advantage, saying that they're taking a break before standing up, much to his knees complaint, and leaning in to kiss his best guy, murmuring, a little shyly, “imma need you to do me like I did you before I shipped out.”

Steve turns fire-fucking-truck red but his voice speaks for how much he wants it, getting deliciously deep and rough, "yes, yeah- yeah, Buck, please. I- I wanna try that," as his fucking bear paws for hands grab at him, a little too hard (not that Bucky will tell him that, he wants the bruises- the proof that it’s real).

Steve manhandles him, pushing him back onto his cot, vibrating with excitement.

Here’s where the sub!Steve comes into play… you ready? ;) 

The second Bucky is being fingered open- which he takes to with surprising ease, especially considering how thick and long Steve’s fingers are now - he gasps, normal at first but getting progressively higher and needier, "oh. Oh- Oh!" as Steve goes on. He begins moving his hips up on instinct, the urge to arch his back and open himself up even more for Steve frighteningly overwhelming. It gets Steve to press his fingers perfectly over his prostate. Which. Just. Breaks him. He shakes to the bone, bones and veins being filled with lava. Hot and thick.

"Mmm- Steve! Steve! Oh, oh my g-"

Steve’s big hands come in handy (pun not intended) because he has to slap one of them over Bucky’s mouth to muffle him.

"Ready?" He grits out, this close to snapping and pushing into him. For once feeling the undying need to fuck and thrust and take rather than put up a fight to have Bucky ask for those things from him. Or have Bucky take them from him. His cock hurts.

"Mmph, yhhf, S'eve-" he slurs from behind his palm, red in the face, dark eyed, and nodding frantically.

So

Steve is sliding into him.

And he’s the one who’s melting. Not Bucky.

It feels fucking great for Bucky, don’t get him wrong, but for Steve? Holy fuck. 

If being in Bucky’s mouth was overwhelming- a whole new world of sensation… can you even imagine how overwhelming being inside Bucky would be? Steve can't imagine it, he's having his mind blown.

He wouldn’t even have to be moving inside him to feel pleasure because he can feel the most minute twitch or ripple or clench of Bucky’s internal muscles around him. 

He can feel how wet with vaseline Bucky is. 

He can feel how hot Bucky is inside. 

He can see every single detail of Bucky like he couldn’t before, when he was colorblind and needed glasses but couldn’t afford them- at least he can see when he finally peels his eyes open again. The blush over Bucky’s face and chest and how truly pink it is- even though the blur of his tears from So Much Happening. The individual rivulets of sweat beading at his hairline. The clash of black, huge pupils against the icy blue of his eyes. Everything.

"B-buck-" is all he can pant, the wind knocked out of him.

Steve pulls out and back. And again.

Holy fuck.

He can hear every wet-suck of Bucky’s body trying to keep him inside as he finally remembers that fucking involves moving (helped in part by Bucky grabbing at his shoulder and his hair, frantic and gasping, “Steve- you- you fuckin’ punk. Steve- holy- God. Move! Move! Move! Mooove, please- fuck, please.”)

Steve can hear every single sharp inhale and gasp and breathy, tiny, “oh” along with every single fucking other noise of pleasure his best guy makes and it’s causing his brain to drip out of his ears. 

He can smell Bucky’s arousal without pressing his nose to the soft, intimate skin that’s shadowed with hair around the base of his cock. All he has to do is inhale. 

He can smell the sweat rolling down their skin, clashing together and smelling like home, like a smokey, hazy Brooklyn summer sat out on the fire escape, taking turns fanning each other. 

He can taste the sweat on Bucky’s skin like he never could before as he collapses down onto him, whimpering because he’s got no words. How could he remember to talk when he’s- he’s just broken open. All of his nerves are raw.  

So raw that all he can do is melt on top of Bucky, pinning him in place and nearly sobbing because HOLY SHIT. Unable to get himself together until Bucky finds his own words again, first making sure that he's okay, that this is okay in general, and then acting on his frustration. Making him get fucking going with fucking him. Ordering him around- telling him how to move his hips and when to kiss him until they’re both just gasping into each other's mouths and pawing at each other. On the edge. Bucky being the one in charge even though he's the one stuck in place, under Steve's bulk.

“C’mon, c’moooon Steve, Stevie- ‘m dying, you’re gonna- fuck, you’re gonna kill me. I’m gonna kill you- I’m gonna fucking kill you if you don’t- don’t fucking move. C’mon you big lug.” 

“Hnnnnng-”

“Yeah, yeah, baby, I know. I know it feels good. Feels like heaven every time I push into you too. I know. T-trust me, fuck, it'd fuckin’ feel better if you moved!” 

“Buuuucky-”

“Yeah, c’mon. Fuck me or so help me, you ba-bastard, I'll, I'll find a way to kill you- s-serum or not. Fuck m-” 

“Ngh-! Ah! Ohmygod!” 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s it doll. Yeah. Fuck. Oh. Fuck, yeah. C’mon, keep going darlin’, keep-” he cuts himself off to pant and grab greedily at Steve, “ah, yeah- fuck. Mmm, jus’ like that. Fuck me just like th-At.”

Steve doesn’t answer with words, just high sounds that would have Bucky rolling with laughter if they weren’t made while he was balls deep inside him, clearly losing his fucking mind. 

That’s chill that you were MIA! It’s okay! I hope you had a good vacation <3

I hope you enjoyed!

[eddiecabotsmile]

some headcanons to get them out of my brain bc they were bouncin around in there lol. first hc tho woo, lmk what you think. my bad if it stinks -love daisy

eddie cabot headcanons

pet names pet names pet names !!

pretty girl, beautiful, baby, honey, just really sweet things

SOFT ASS HANDS

like bear paws

probably from not lifting a damn finger

i feel like eddie gets jealous pretty easily

i will not elaborate

when he’s spoiling you for the 1537640816th time this week and the cashier guy definitely is checking you out he’s heatedddd

the type to just be as obvious as he can

i’m talking like grabbing your ass, leaning over and whispering in your ear, kissing all over your face

he remembers the guys face tho and he deffo asks joe to “take care” of him

dudes dead now

omg he LOVES when you give him presents !! his face gets all soft and blushy

it’s all like “well shit i didn’t know i had a fuckin’ angel for a girlfriend”

it’s one thing when you’re the one receiving the presents, but when you’re giving ohhh my gosh

lowkey falls harder for you when you get him gifts

because joe provides him with everything but it’s more special when you put thought into it

getting a bit nsfw over here (phew, you ready?)

on the topic of gifts, imagine SURPRISING him in lingerie ??? um yes bitch

having to hide the lingerie from him bc boy is nosey

you wait on your shared bed with candles all around the room and the curtains drawn with light music playing in the back

your hair is perfectly curled and bouncy and your boobs look AMAZING in the lacy baby blue bra garter and panty set 👀

eddie walks in not expecting you to be all dolled up but he gets so flustered

cue amused scoff

“jesus christ honey, you buy this for me?”

and you’re all like, mhmmm daddy 😌

at that point just cancel the whole next week y’all are gonna be there for a whole

also eddie tries to not rip it because he knows you spent your good money but also can’t keep his greedy hands to himself and probs ends up torn

“eddie!” “i’m sorry baby i just need to get a hold of those gorgeous tits a yours. i promise i’ll get you like a million more”

[duckymcdoorknob]

HEY IM STILL ON A MINI HIATUS BUT I COULDN’T TAKE NOT HAVING MY SAFE SPACE ANYMORE!!!

ILL BE BOUNCIN ON AND OFF MAKING SHITPOSTS, BUT NO FORMAL WRITING UNTIL SUNDAY MORNING.

SINCE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ASKED- HERES HOW LIFE IS GOIN RN

This was probably the most mondayiest Monday of my life

Senioritis is awfUL

I’ve got two tests tomorrow In the two subjects that matter most.

(Econ and English. I need a 94 to not have to take my Econ final, and I need a 90 in English to stay in the honors society)

I’m behind in 3 classes and continue to fall more every day.

I got another temp fever from trying not to cry all day

My EDs be as fiery and sexy as ever

BUT- a friend that I trusted and told about it came up to me today and said “you didn’t eat today did you? You were doing so well, but you haven’t talked to me about it in a long time. what’s going on?”

I haven’t eaten more than a meal a day in roughly three months and you just didn’t notice and I didn’t want to tell you bc I was worried I was annoying you but thanks

When I tell you i was one more nice comment from him away from bawling, im telling the truth.

It’s hell week for little women

I’m not off book for little women (down to like 50 ish lines tho!!)

I take my first set of final bows Saturday night and I’m not ready.

My fucking musical director man

I love him to death, truly I do, but if I get discriminated against by him one more fucking time I’m gonna choke him, NOT affectionately >:(

Freshman year: I can’t play Jane Banks because I’m 5’8

Senior year; I can’t audition for Jack Kelly because I’m female.

But I can audition for davey!!

Why is that you ask?

Because jack has a female love interest,

And I, a female, am NOT allowed to be in love with a member of my own sex.

gasp. Scandalous, I know.

But in all honesty what the fuck.

I feel guilty for this one but- I’m so tired of being friends with people.

Let me elaborate.

I can’t even sit with one of my friends without being in constant fear that she’s going to talk about how dysphoric she feels or how she wants to $h00+ herself, or how she’s gonna have a panic attack over literally any minor inconvenience. I feel like shit for feeling this way but like it’s all she says to me anymore and I just want my friend back.

I have another friend who is going through depressive episodes and refuses to go to therapy as much as I beg him to, so I’m his only outlet whatsoever. Anytime I don’t give the answer he expects or wants, I get hit with “it’s okay you’re busy I’ll be fine” or “it’s fine just go to sleep then” and he makes constant sooishidal jokes and they just make me feel sick.

I have friends, who aren’t in eachothers’ inner circles, who (as mentioned earlier) are in a constant cycle of “oh I wasn’t invited? Haha that’s fine I’m used to it!!” Or “oh thanks for thinking of me right now and not when you were inviting people!” Or “must be nice to be included haha!”

Sometimes I just want to be alone, but everyone takes offense to it when I don’t sit with them at lunch or in the mornings.

I can’t complain about anything, A N Y T H I N G, without either being berated for complaining, being interrupted and ignored or being derailed by one of them complaining about their own issues.

And I can’t even imagine opening up about what I’m really feeling Bc I WILL scare them all away. I don’t want to talk about it because I know how it feels to have to comfort while having huge loads on your shoulders.

I can’t go to school counselors either without them telling my parents.

So yeee i get to suffer Bc I can’t ask for help.

NOW FOR DA HAPPY

I wrote a lil sum sum that I will post on Sunday morning

IM SEEING WORLD HEROES MISSION ON SUNDAY TOO

I ordered more diamonds for my painting so now I can finish it :)

I’m rewatching AOT and falling in love with all of the characters again.

SIBCE WHEN WAS MIKASA THAT HOT

[hoodieimp]

ok but does were-wally look p mch: exactly Like boris, or is it like: a mix between: ur standard werewolf but more toon like/a mix of Boris?? d:oc

First of all THANK Y’ALL?? fdhjkfjgdk I’m really glad people are enjoying this goofy idea of mine!! 

Appearance-wise, I initially pictured Were-Wally as a “perfect” Boris, the same as in-game, but it didn’t really feel “right” to me? especially since I’ve always HC’d Wally as being short n chubby while Boris is kind of a beanpole hfdjfd 

So now he’s more like…Boris, but a little bit pudgier & with some ~extra~ details, like tufts of fur, bare paws instead of featureless toony “shoe” feet, a visible tail, etc. added on!

Wally’s, uh, condition is only really known to Joey, Henry, and Sammy (to a slightly lesser extent than the other two, since he didn’t stick around to hear Joey’s explanation…he does eventually find out for himself, through some particularly hilarious tho not to him lmao circumstances). Also Bendy, bc it’s impossible to keep any kind of secret from him for long, the little shit. 

The rest of the studio is. more or less unaware that their janitor’s been toonified…Wally’s always been kind of over-the-top n full of personality in his own right, so they’re used to him being a bit Weird from time to time.

Not this Weird, though. 

For one thing, dude is suddenly SUPER fixated on food. Sure, he’s never been one to turn down free nosh before, and he’ll wax lyrical about the joys of a perfectly-made hoagie to anyone who’ll listen, but now it’s like. if anyone even so much as unwraps a candy bar while on the same level as him, Wally will somehow show up in seconds n be like “hey, you gonna eat that?” He’s even developed a taste for the infamous patented Bacon Soup, which not even Bendy will touch. 

Secondly, music has an. interesting effect on him now–if he hears a beat, he’ll start bouncin and boppin along, seemingly without even realizing it. nowadays he tries to avoid cleaning in the Music Department while the band is in full swing bc he just. ends up grooving out whilst mopping or w/e. he’s slipped and fallen a couple times. 

Overall, he’s become noticeably more, well, animated. He startles really easily (and seems extra bothered by high pitched noises), gestures a lot while talking, little things like that. All these little…Boris-isms start becoming more and more pronounced the closer it gets to a full moon–sometimes, even physical traits like an ear or tail will pop out if he gets Particularly excited/emotional (at one point he sneezes too hard and it springs his face out into a snout. no one is around to witness it, thankfully)–until finally, he goes Full Boris for a full night, then gradually goes back to “normal” the next day…until the “symptoms” start ramping up again over the next month, aaand the whole thing repeats. 

He’s tried to convince Joey to give him the full moon off every month, but there’s only so many “sick days” he can take, and what with the Ink Machine being the finicky bastard it is, he’s p much guaranteed to spend every other month at the studio while wolfed-out. It’s actually kind of better for him in the end–he gets a wide open space instead of being stuck in his cramped little apartment, and as long as he makes sure to eat a big meal beforehand, he won’t be quite so ravenously hungry (turns out, even cartoony, physics-defying shapeshifting burns calories like Mad) 

also, he’s not really dangerous or “bloodthirsty” like a traditional werewolf–more of a really big, overenthusiastic dog who doesn’t know his own strength at times. still has the potential to Rough Someone Up if he gets mad or freaked-out, but he’d really rather just. sit n chill. and eat his way thru a picnic basket or three. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: Hey, where you at? Indie: the boys hit me up but i slipped gonna be long afore im back in right ends Indie: y what u need? Rio: need to put a chip in you, honestly Rio: just wondering if you'd be back 'fore I go work but don't think so by sounds of 😂 Rio: it's cool, just gotta hit you w some info Indie: ✌✌ manz drumz all be looking the same type of way when u out the 24 innit not my bad Indie: come thru w it then ma im 👂👂👂👂 Rio: long as you keep 👀 too Rio: don't be getting stuck in the suburbs, like 😬 Indie: gon wrap myself up & put me on a step like 👶 wen i need feeding its chill 😂😂 Rio: n'awh, you cute enough, babe Rio: but I got you food here, don't do me like that 💔 Rio: social back on our case Rio: 'specially 'cos I'm bouncing for a bit Indie: is it? now you got me like that 💔💔💔 Indie: how u tryna leave me bitch & who for?? Rio: I know having me off your back got you more like 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: I'm gonna go get some sun, looking like one of the fam too hard init Indie: dont be doin urself that dirty i kno u cant hang but u aint need it outted hardcore we can keep it 🤐🤐 like Indie: be a rudegirl in the 👀 of the rest i got u Indie: drop that 411 on the who tho i kno u aint tryna be alone 😏😏 Rio: 🙄 GURL please Rio: I invented hanging b4 you were out of pampers, don't cheek me Rio: nah fr, I am so sick of boys Indie: u a 👶 hitting the club like ayyyyyyy i vibe w that Indie: 🍀 gdad is that much of a real one 🍻 Indie: u gotta watch when there still an ex in the yard i feel u Rio: mhmm, spent way too much of my life in that pub Rio: clearly can't get enough though 🤷 Rio: and what boys do I know that can afford to come with? Rio: not into anyone enough to be paying their way tah Indie: i aint kno cos u aint laid no destination on me bitch could be boujee or budget innit sun still shines Indie: imma just say check yo case for dat boyy hes WELL on top its a dred thing Rio: Oh my bad Rio: packing got me like Rio: 🍔🎆🦅🔫 Rio: there's your clue Indie: o damn k didnt think ud be on me to do no homework but 🏈 man Indie: i follow dat & it follows thru u gotta bring me back an american boy ✌✌ they like another species its a madness & it be like 🔬🏫😂😂 Rio: 😂👏 Rio: I'll try and fit one in my bag, like Rio: Gonna be gone 10 days, that's alright, yeah? I'll sort everything, make sure dickhead knows so he won't show up whilst I'm gone Indie: not too small innit tho 😏😏😍😍🤤 Indie: fr? oo the real talk b how you affording that if no mans b picking up the check got me suspicious on you now 👀 Indie: did u rinse his 💸💸 afore u bounced like? 💪✌ Indie: call it tourist tax for how he livin Rio: 😂 you the most, bitch Rio: get me done for trafficking, even your da would never Rio: and what 💸 Rio: any bag he got going up his nose Rio: maybe I had help but that don't mean the man gotta be there when I am, like Rio: rule no.1 Indie: o shit 👏👏 girl u 💖💣💣🔥🔥🔥 if that aint prove u wilder than drew ever tryna be so imma expect my boy ty 💋 Rio: 💕👑 Rio: failing that, shit ton of junk food, yeah? Indie: lbr thatd do me better ���😍🤤🤤🤤 Indie: how rule 2 b then?? hit me w that schoolin mama Indie: i got my pen & paper out rn Indie: 🤓🤓🤓 Rio: damn Rio: take 📸 so your teachers believe Rio: just need to bribe you, duh, ain't hard Indie: if they wanna gimme dem lessons on how to get ✈ to the sun i be 👂👂👂 too trust Indie: what drew chat bout u bouncin? he chill on me doing how i want now if nobody 💀💀 orrrr Rio: they reckon they is but that can be rule no.2 Rio: most people dun' know shit or they lying Rio: you'll have to check yourself but he seemed chill Rio: gonna miss me so much, obvs Indie: true facts i done kno since i 👶 & came up Indie: nahhh cos theres a boy imma need to check me while u aint there to 👀 u kno Indie: drew better keep out my way man Rio: easy Rio: you been living with him longer, you know how you gotta but don't be stupid, alright Indie: ✌☮ Indie: i got it Rio: You better Rio: don't make me look bad now Indie: girl u aint gonna be owned by me ur the baddest 💖💖💖 imma b so 👼👼👼 for u believe Rio: 💋 Rio: good Indie: 10 days gonna be a madness tho fr Indie: got used to u around me Rio: I know Rio: I just need this Rio: running on empty, like Indie: he tryna rinse u all out its no wonder like Indie: when u ✈ out tho? Rio: you know Rio: cut him off, gonna have him fiending Rio: not my concern, though Rio: not 'til friday night Indie: ✂ boy soz but nahhh 💋✌ he a next man now & he kno how he did it no 💔😢 cept his Indie: u best be making time to farewell on me then innit 👑💖💖 Rio: Never as deep as he playing Rio: Curtis too 🙄 Rio: 'course I am! 🧡🧡🧡 Indie: they all want the biggest piece cos u 🎂 baby so hyped cos u worth that 💎💎👑💎 Rio: They can hit me back up when they can afford a better jetset, init Indie: u kno 😂😂😂 Rio: 🍀 lads Rio: don't see either you working that hard Rio: i got this Indie: they need more than 🍀🍀 better 🙏🙏🙏 mandem Indie: maybe jc got ur back cos we too busy handlin our own Indie: ✌☮ Rio: 🙌 amen sis Indie: he better 🙏🙏🙏 fr if he roll up to our door again Indie: not the feds imma 📱 to come thru Rio: he won't, if he got even the sense he was born with Indie: do he tho?? thats a nah if he gonna b how is w you like he aint kno who u is Rio: 🤞 he learning now I'm gone Indie: or we gon b 🙏🙏🙏 for his next Rio: 😬 Lawd don't Rio: have to give a PSA Indie: innit tho Indie: like u aint already got a fulltime Rio: and then some Rio: boy I'm busy Indie: & if he was busy doin he wouldnt b in this Rio: fr Rio: needs to get himself a job 'fore he get another woman Indie: & afore he gets himself landed in the pen Rio: nah, he would NOT do well in prison 💀💀💀 Indie: he only think he a rudeboy i can hang harder than how he do & im halfgrown only Indie: 💪 tho Rio: 🤷 no lie Rio: ffs, what must people think Rio: 🤡 Indie: that u a 😇😇😇 doin dem good deeds like 🙌🙌 Rio: 😏 hmm Indie: he's a white boy so its bare charity already Rio: 😂 Indie Rio: don't be self-hating Indie: just sayin Rio: you funny girl Rio: also you not lost no more, yeah? Rio: i'm off to work Indie: i kno where i am & where i need to get its all good Indie: safe Rio: ✌ Rio: laters then baby 💋 Indie: ✌✌💖💖 big love 💋👑

[darby-drabbles]

Yesterday on twitter I asked for questions from this post,,, specifically for Andre just because, I wanted to talk about him? Feel free to ask me Even More!!! For Andre or other ocs from his story or anyone, I don’t mind. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve done oc talk so it was good to get back into it. A few questions asked by both @duck-n-clover and @agentchimendez Thank you so much!

4. Has your character ever witnessed experienced something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

(“witnessed” seemed different from “experience” and I just couldn’t think of a witness thing for some reason so I CHanged it to have an actual answer.. IT Is more serious tho now so.. LETs see.)

In general,, he always felt second best compared to his sister and that shaped SO MUCH of what he’s done. Whether it was trying so hard to succeed, overworking and feeling horrible when he failed,, or when he started his intense Rebellious Phase in protest. Sibling favoritism shaped him to crave attention no matter how he got it. And YEAh, people know. He definitely talks about/complains/has breakdowns about not feeling good enough or his family often enough so all his friends know that that’s why he’s Like This sometimes. It only really comes up with his family in the form of snappy angery comments so they get kind of brushed off as Andre being moody AGaiN.

“Adopting” the droid changes him, for the better! (eventually..) He’s reluctant to care for her at first,, he’s a bit, impatient and short-tempered with her? and kinda in general, actually. And since he doess end up messing her up/can’t fix the glitches she had, he feels guilty and like a bit of a failure again. But he also eventually gets more patient, starts to open up more, and meets/becomes closer to people because of her! He’s happier.. Delilah is a very good droid daughter whom he loves and owes a lot to. He might not specifically talk about it too often,, but,,, I think people can tell he’s doing better now because of her.

To get even more serious now, sorry, TW for sexual abuse. I’ve talked about it before so I’m not gonna get too into it, (just the next paragraph, the rest are his reactions to it) you could read more of the details here. (the last question) Skip or read as much as you feel comfortable with, I don’t talk abt anything else until the next question.

He met an older man through his sister and saw him at the bar once. The guy started talking to Andre because he was familiar~ (he also knew Andre snuck in and wasn’t 21 yet and probably had drugs on him 🙃 He holds that against him later.) They go back to this guys place, blow each other. It was an okay little fling at first,, Andre wouldn’t have found the guy memorable. They lay in bed a while until Andre says he wants to go home,,, guy says he still wants to fuck or at least get another bj. Andre refuses but he pins him down and basically did a whole guilt trippy “who are people gonna believe?? you’re a druggy delinquent sneaking into bars to get blowjobs” speech. This guy definitely has a Good Guy image with a lot of people INCluding Andre’s sister Zahra, so Andre figured he was right. They’d believe this guy first, and wouldn’t be on Andre’s side because he’s Always Like This. Acting out and sleeping around and not being in the best situations. “This is all you’re good for.” 🙃 And Andre ‘low self-esteem’ *last name* UH. Totally believes that and feels pretty worthless, unfortunately, and blows him so he can just go home. He was pretty rough with him, which Andre normally likes, so he felt pretty, weird, about that for a while. Andd so he gets it over with and just, tries to go home. The man still teases him a bit trying to get him to stay but he’s very much over this guy and is ready to sleep and shower already.

~~ It makes him angry and defensive for a while and his drug use spikes, he feels used and worthless and gets Even More Self Destructive and a bit destructive in general. He says it wasn’t a big deal, it didn’t affect him he’s fine,, because he wants to avoid it, but it clearly obviously affects him for a while. He’s mad that it happened to him. He does eventually get help for that which in turn helps with stopping the drug use for coping and, that’s goood. He still sometimes insists it wasn’t a big deal it could’ve been worse, but he’ll get upset over it too.

He wouldn’t tell a lot of people, Evelyn and Kriss would know. Avery and Nicki might.. But Evelyn was the only one who knew him at the time, she was one of his few friends, and they’re really close. He goes to her really upset about it soon after it happened. He doesn’t explicitly tell her what happened but it’s sort of implied and she understands. He does tell her later, after the whole thing has calmed down and the memory and trauma isn’t as fresh,, she was a good friend through it and he wanted her to know what was wrong.

He’d tell his more serious partners which would really only be Kriss? (plus maybe some mix n match in that ship/au Perhaps) It happened before dating Nicki, but I don’t think* he would’ve told her just because he still hadn’t really dealt with those emotions himself yet? And their relationship was pretty quick and intense already. Like they’re friends again now but I don’t think they get tooo deep into emotional stuff often anymore. I think he’d want to explain and apologize for some of his actions including the drug use, so he’d find a way to tip toe around the topic a bit?? But probably wouldn’t tell her details. Avery is another of his closer friends and I feel like they vent to each other sometimes, it’s possible that he told them something about it.

*I mentioned in the other post that Nicki might know,, but I’m leaning more to her not knowing now, so, updated info I Guess.

His sister knows he slept with the man but Andre wanted to drop that conversation REal Quick.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Whats! In! His! Bag!

There’s the obvious, phone wallet and keys,, spare change. Maybe a pack of gum or a peppermint or someth. A band aid, jic. He’ll bring earbuds if he knows he’ll be alooone and get to listen to music. (I couldn’t find it by itself but the very first vine in this video Is Andre walking down the street. .. Bouncin’ around..) Occasionally, a pocket knife,, maybe a lighter. He doesn’t smoke often anymore but still nice to have. Uhh that’s all I can think of. Pretty Simple. (in baby au he has a bag so he can carry So Much Junk and snacks and toys and just. Anything.)

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

He kinda rarely has memorable dreams, and I don’t think there’s a ton of recurring themes in them? Maybeb a few Anxiety dream thoughts but they’re probably different from each other,, or at least not repeated often enough to notice. ‘OH my teeth fell out This TIme,, last time I just showed up to class naked. That’s fine I guess.’

I think he gets that *feels like you’re falling so you jerk awake really suddenly* feeling kinda often though.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I haven’t thought about this?? But no I donn’t thiink so, he’s not a gun guy. If anything he only would’ve been practicing shooting at targets or cans, something like that.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More often than not,, less clothing. 👀 To an extent. But, probably when he was younger it would be more clothing bc he was hiding things and felt guarded and comfortable in layers of clothe. How could someone suspect ur on drugs and bruisey from fights and not eating enough if they can’t see your body at all, hmm??? Check, Mate

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

HMm this is a tough one. I mean I wanna say happiness but he doesn’t actually seek that out for himself for A While, and for a long time he kind of struggles with the need to prove himself and show that he’s good enough and not a failure. Sometimes he’s trying to succeed in something that would make his family happy and other times it’s trying to prove it to himself. So when he’s younger I’ll say success, but currently, happiness.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

One of his grandmother’s died when he was prettyy young and so death was explained in a very,, kid friendly way and + his lil imagination, I think that stuck with him?? They weren’t a particularly spiritual family, they probably said something like, she won’t come back but she’ll always be with you,,, like,,, in your thoughts and in ur heart but he was an imaginative easily spooked kid and kinda took that to mean Ghost. OBVIously…. But that’s not what they meant… That kinda freaked him out as a kid, he didn’t want A Ghost followin him???? Not even a nice gramma-ghost, no way. That’s a haunting! SPooky???? His parents eventually had to explain that no she’s not a ghost she’s just,,, not here any more. But I think he was already pretty set on these thoughts and the thought of not existing anymore At All seemed even scarier tbh? But he did get more comfortable with,, if there was a gramma-ghost,, then she would be nice like gramma.

But he still kinda, believes in ghosts and spirits in some way more than anything,, like your spirit or energy might stick around somewhere familiar or someone you love perhaps. He’s never really had a ghostly experience to back up these thoughts, though, and he sometimes doubts if that’s really what will happen. Maybe reincarnation, maybe u just blink out of existence, he doesn’t know. His afterlife beliefs don’t scare him per say, but I don’t think he’s really comforted by it, either. Death in general scares him a little, so he Tries Not To Think About It.

[titanslayer]

me, bouncin off kat’s post like the gremlin i am: anyone who makes leo cry is gonna have to hide from jason is all im saying! change ur name start a new life! he’ll find u tho

[mndcvntrvl]

02 | The Weekend [part i.]

you ready bih? @rebellesixx (i pray this chapter is decent bc omg)

FRIDAY, APRIL 3RD

The sweet smell of coffee floated around me. Colombian grinded beans wafted into my nose, causing me to wrinkle up my face. I let my eyes follow the bodies of people walking passed me through the Plexiglas. Sunlight seeped right in front of my table in a crooked line—catching my attention whenever Maria would step in it.

“Hey,” I called towards her. Her tiny body stopped and turned towards me with look of mischief. Those big, doll-like eyes looked dead at me, causing me to smile.

“Mama,” she asked, her hands clapped as she did so.

I smiled and waved her back towards our table. “Don’t walk around without me,” I told her, grabbing her hand and pulling into my lap.

We had gotten a booth. The tables around us weren’t suitable for children. High tops with small black, metal legs. But the booths were wide and roomy, enough for me to sit Maria in my lap or next to me if she got to grumpy.

A chime sounded to my right—eyes locked on the person. A smile littered their face as I watched them catch me cowering away behind my hand. When they arrived to our booth, they picked Maria up out of my lap.

“And how is my favorite princess?”

Nadia had wanted to meet up somewhere after last week’s mess. With me being at work and picking up Maria from daycare, and her working at the salon all the time, we had no time except for today. Even then, it would be cut short because Chaos wanted to see his niece and talk to me, again.

Maria gave her a babbled answer before saying, “princey!”

We laughed in unison.

“You been havin’ a good week,” she asked me, sitting down in front of me. Her hair had gotten longer so she struggled to keep her curls out of Maria’s face as she maneuvered and scooted into her seat.

I sighed, rolling my eyes with puckered lips. “Let’s talk about how I’m goin’ to New York in the next five hours.”

“Talia!” Maria jumped at her voice, causing us both to laugh before Nadia ranted on. “Didn’t you just get over one life crisis already? The hell you goin’ over there for?”

“Well excuse the hell outta’ me, I see somebody’s in need of some coffee,” I scrunched up my face as I handed her a menu lying next to me. Her eyes glared at me before she snatched it and began to scan through it. With a childish grin, I pointed at new flavor on the menu. “Try the Belize Cappuccino.”

Nadia tried her hardest not to roll her eyes and give me a scowl as she started to take interest in the tropical advertisement of the drink, but soon failing when she finally looked at me. It never failed; trying to distract her is about the easiest thing to do. Between her and Maria I believe she had the quickest attention span of a fly, which is probably why she’s always trying ‘pay attention’. It never works though. Her eyes scanned mine; I busted out in a slight cackle.

“You not one ounce of shit,” Nadia noted, pointing her neon pink acrylic at me. I ceased my laughter, watching her through tear filled eyes as she gave me her infamous death glare.

“Remind me to do this more often.” I rubbed my eyes and took a glance at my phone. A text from my dad popped up—something unlike him.

“Why you makin’ that face,” at the sound of her question I looked up.

“Huh? Oh,” I shook my head and replied,

“Nah, my dad texted me—“she cut me off.

“Mr. Ramos can text?!”

“It’s Mr. Williams, and yes,” I answered, shaking my head once more. “It’s just an abnormal thing for him to do.”

“He must be excited to see you and the little one, ya know?”

I paused. My eyes never leaving my phone.

“Weeelllll about that…”

When I finally grew the courage to look at her, the face she gave me was priceless. Mouth agape, eyes wide—she gave Maria a look over before doing a double take at the both of us.

“You aren’t taking her? Uh,” she smacked her lips, “may I ask for the fuck why?”

“Stop cussin’ in front of my baby.”

She sucked her teeth, “answer the question Talia.”

I sighed before putting my phone back on the table. A waitress came to our table, my eyes pleading with her to stay just for a while—anything to distract Nadia.

“My I get your order ma’am,” the waitress asked her, pulling out her notepad. She was a cute girl, shorter than me with tawny skin and curly hair. “We have two new flavors, the Belize and Hawaiian Cappuccino.”

Nadia glared at me before giving the waitress a warm smile. “Uhm, I’d like to try the Belize Cappuccino please, hold the whip cream,” she finished, handing her the menu. When the waitress walked away, her eyes were back on me. “Now explain.”

“Chaos wanted to watch her this week, but you know how day care is set up and all that, soo I told him he could watch her for the weekend,” I explained, wincing up my face as if it would help me from any of her backlash.

“Does he know you’re goin’ to New York? A whole thirty billion miles away?”

“It is not that far, and he’s her uncle I’m pretty sure he can handle it.”

“Has even taken care of kids before?”

I sighed. “How would I know Nadia? All I know is that I’m trusting him with his niece for two whole days.”

“And you see no problem in that?”

“He said he was free this weekend, Nadia.”

“The streets don’t know what bein’ free for the weekend is,” I had to pause and gather myself when I heard that come out of her mouth because she was serious. Legit serious. It was taking everything in me to not fall out on the floor.

“You a trip,” I shook my head, pointing my index at her. “Dad wants me to come up there for the weekend and help someone’s PR team come up with some designs for some merch.”

“Extra guap?”

I nodded, taking a sip out of my latte. “I don’t know who it is tho’, that’s what’s killin’ me. Like how am I supposed to have an idea of what I wanna do if I don’t know who it is?”

 “It could be because he don’t know himself.”

“Nadia, this is my father we’re talkin’ about.”

She paused before nodding her head. “True.”

“See,” I pointed out. “I just want everything to go smoothly and quickly. My baby gon’ be all by herself,” I pouted, looking over a day-dreaming Maria.

She looked so much like Christian it was downright disgusting. It was like he chewed her up and spit her out, ugh, I hated it. Those same, droopy lips and doll-like eyes paired along with those bushy eyebrows—it was like looking at his twin. They both even have this weird birthmark right above their bellybutton and the same two beauty marks on their ankles.

I miss him so much, I thought to myself.

“You could’ve just took her with you, but,” she shrugged her shoulders and flipped her hair over her shoulders. With wide eyes, she smashed her lips together and looked down at the table.  

“You shady ass,” I laughed, picking up a wadded up napkin and throwing it at her.

She scrunched her face and threw it back at me. With a sly smirk, she looked at my phone before asking,

“Now it would make sense if it was because of Mister Black Pyramid himself, because honey chile’,” she poked out her lips and started snapping.

“Snap,” Maria asks, snapping out of the little day-dream she was in. Nadia nods.

“Mhm, snap ‘cause yo mama bouta’ get that pip—“I cut her off by throwing more wadded up napkins at her.

“Shh! You corruptin’ my baby,” I rushed out in a whisper, looking around the quiet café before turning back to her with a scowl. “It’s not even like that, oh mah’ god, Nadia it was a year ago—it wasn’t even like that!”

“But he was diggin’ you,” she replied, smugly, her nails tapped against the cherry wood table as her lips smashed together.

“And who’s to say he wasn’t? But nothin’ happened so…”

“Now let’s be honest if you was single you woulda’ been bouncin’ all—“

“And here is your Belize Cappuccino miss,” the waitress caught us both off guard as she plopped the giant blue glass down in front of Nadia.

“Uh,” astonished at the amount of whipped cream it had, Nadia nodded at the waitress uttering a, “thanks,” before waiting for her to walk away.

“Do you swallow or spit,” I asked, my lips forming a coy smirk.

Her eyes rose from the cup to meet mine—her eyebrows raised as her mouth opened. She pulled her head back and placed a hand on her chest before giving me the same smirk back.

“Hasn’t Chris asked you that already?”

“See this what we not gonna do,” I mused, grabbing my purse. “You know good and well I don’t see anybody like that.”

She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink. “But if that right person comes along then you betta’ hop on it,” she said in between sips of her drink.

“Can I at least get over Christian first,” I asked, “I can’t just hop on to someone like that, and you know that.

“I’m not sayin’ it like that, I just wanna see you happy.” She pointed at Maria. “She makes you happy, no?”

“Duh, it’s my child.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course she makes me happy.”

“Okay, well I wanna see you happy with someone else besides her,” she said, shifting Maria in her lap as though she were heavy.

“I wanna be happy period,” I replied. I scooted towards the end of the booth, rising from my seated position, stretching. “Listen, I know you’re lookin’ out for me, but I got some things to get through first, okay?”

“You know I want you to be happy, no matter what.”

“I know. Now gimme my child so I can head to this old man’s house.”

 The ride over to Chaos’ wasn’t too long. He said he had moved to a new area two years ago. The scenery wasn’t its usual tenet buildings and corner stores but more elaborate fresh markets and name-brand gas stations. Especially the people who lived here—white, but middle class white, like the ones who could afford to shop at Target and not get the off brand things.

His house was over in Glen Lake, a condominium with houses that could have well been mansions. He told me he lived on Jordan Street, way far in the back—and when he said way far back, he really meant it.

It wasn't a mansion, or a penthouse. But a traditional styled home, like one you'd see off of TV.

The exterior of the house alone held many architectural details, giving it this cozy facade but inside it was the total opposite. Its rock stone material was a beige color while the roof was bluish-grey.

From here you could see the blue curtains draped over the windows, making it impossible to see inside and beside the house was an attached garage. Chaos wasn’t subtle with his cars, he had them all out to see—even the fancy ones he knew he wouldn’t dare drive.

I had texted him that I was parked out front. His only response was to, ‘come on in’.

But I was nervous. It had been awhile since I had walked inside of his home. Yeah it was three years ago in a different area, when we were all in a different space in our lives, but now it just gives me butterflies. Here I am, with his niece walking up to his brand new house with a brand new batch of possibilities waiting for me on the other side of the door.

That’s when I can hear Christian in the back of head saying, “you’ll live, now stop bein’ scary and go do it.”

I stood at the door with a sleeping Maria in my hands. Her sleeping bag and baby bag were in both of my hands; my only option was to ring his doorbell. After a few minutes of not getting a response, I believe my finger permanently stayed on his doorbell until I got a very loud, “hold on! Shit!”

“Who the fu—“lo and behold, the man himself snatches the door open, his face reading irritation until he drops his gaze to the sleeping baby in my arms. “Oh shit,” he whispers, leaning down and taking her out of my arms. “Why you ain’t just call me?”

I nodded down to the bags in my hand, then pointing at Maria. “What could I have grabbed my phone with, my toes?”

He sucked his teeth. “You still mean.” He noted. He stepped to the side, opening the door more. “Come in, the couch is right behind me. You can put all that shit on there.”

I did as he said. Looking around, I noticed the place was really neat and organized—something out of character for Chaos, but then again, it’s been a few since I’ve last seen him.

“The place looks nice,” I complimented, hearing a door close behind me, I turned around and smiled up at him. “The black and gold color scheme suits you.”

“The black and gold color scheme really suits you,” he flipped imaginary hair over his shoulder as he mimicked me, making me flip him off. It only fueled the fire in which was indeed, Chaos. “What else are you gonna tell me? My beard brings out the color in my eyes?”

I cocked my head to the side, squinting my eyes at him. “Well if you trimmed it a lil’ on the sides—“

“Kitchen. Go, now.”

“What about Maria? Lay her down on the couch,” I said, reaching my hands out for her. “Gimme.”

After I laid her down, the walk to his kitchen was quick. It was the room over from the living room we were in. Victorian like drapes hung from the grand window in front of the sink. In the middle was the island, black marble sat atop with gold flecks in it. The cabinets were all matte black with gold handles and knobs. Chaos had positioned himself near the sink, back against it with his legs in front of him.

“You hungry?”

I shook my head, sitting on the barstool adjacent to the island. “No, we ate before we came, but thank you. Now what is it that we so desperately need to talk about?”

“Why you say it like that?” he asked, leaning back more to place his elbows on the counter. “I just wanted to know where you gon’ be at, damn, I can’t eem’ do that?”

I laughed, looking down at my hands. “Nah, I thought it was gon’ be somethin’ serious, but my father wants to see me.”

“And you not takin’ lil bit?”

For whatever reason I couldn’t tell him that my father’s only seen pictures of her. Or gotten the occasional Face Time and one on one with her. Nadia doesn’t even know that and she’s the one who knows everything; even before I know it. Plus I already have enough explaining to do when I get over there, I didn’t feel like doing it now.

“No,” I muttered, leaning forward in my chair. “I’m gonna be busy… as well as he is, so there’d be no time, really.”

“So you tellin’ me…” he started, pushing himself off of the counter all while walking over to me. “Yo daddy ain’t go nobody, family, or nothin’ to watch her while you there n’ shit?”

“Do you not wanna watch her?”

“Now did I say that? Nah I was just askin’ ‘cause I know he’d probably wanna spend time wit’ his granddaughter. Ain’t you got some family up there too?”

“Just my father and his mom. So nah, because she lives all the way in Long Island, plus it would just be a hassle to do multiple things at once and watch her.”

“So you just goin’ up there for the weekend? No loungin’ wit Robyn or nun’?”

Shaking my head at his Robyn comment, I let out a chuckle and placed my hands on the counter.

“One, Robyn is not at all in New York. She’s doing something with Puma this month so she’s across the country. And two, yes, just for the weekend to work on some merchandise for this celebrity, probably some simple graphics and sketches. Before you ask, no, I don’t know,” I finished, placing my hands together and bringing them closer to my chest.

“Okay… You excited to go? See ya peeps’ n’ shit.” he raised an eyebrow as he drummed his fingers on the counter, causing me to narrow my eyes at his fingers; an action that made him slowly stop.

“Eh, it’s just for work so I can’t be overly excited, ya know? Not like I’m gonna be goin’ out n’ shit,” I unclasped my hands to wave one off in the air before intertwining them back together. “If that’s all you wanted to know then… anything else you wanna talk about?”

Our eye contact was very sporadic, it would break and rejoice. In this one moment, we rejoiced, catching the looks of nervousness and nostalgia all in one before breaking it again.

“You seein’ anybody?”

When I tell you I almost lost a lung in this man’s kitchen, I was hacking away. I’m pretty sure I scared him, only because he got me a glass of water and damn near forced me to drink it all until I calmed down.

As I regulated my breathing, I raised an eyebrow at him. “Where the hell did that question come from?”

“It was just a question, I ain’t mean anything by it.”

“Well…” I hesitated. For the life of me I don’t why I did. I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. “No, I haven’t really been in the head space to even think about anyone else.”

I miss my baby. Three years without him feels like it’s been thirty. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts about him that I can’t seem to think about anybody else. If I’m not thinking about him, it’s Maria, and if not her, the possibility of them being together in this sad, depressive fantasy I always have of him actually being here.

In my hesitation, my mind raced a mile of minute. The question being bestowed upon me made me feel some type of way. One, I didn’t know where the question could be coming from. It could have been coming from a curious state or one trying to barge into my life. And two, coming from my lover’s brother, it makes me feel like I’m being ridiculed for even thinking about somebody else.

“So you haven’t even tried to find somebody,” he asked, toying with the empty glass I left on the counter. “Not even a date?”

“Where is all of this comin’ from Chaos? No… I still catch myself wanting to text him when he’s coming over for movie night, for Christ sakes. How am I gonna even have the time to go on a date when I’m too busy watching a child? Do you hear how dumb you sound when you ask that question,” I took in a deep breath when I realized how fast I was talking. It didn’t hit me that I had started to tear up, until I wiped at my left eye and saw a wet mark on my index.

I hadn’t realized I wasn’t looking at him either; my hands were in my gaze until I forced myself to stare at him.

His hands were up in a defensive state as he shook his head. “I was just askin’ lil bit, I ain’t mean to make you upset or nun’.”

I shook my head and swiped a hand down my face, all I could do was sigh and close my eyes for a second before popping them back open.

“Listen,” I said, “it’s not your fault… I’m sorry for calling you dumb. I’m just going through some things right now.”

“You know you can always talk to me.” He opened his arms. “Now c’mere, you big ass baby.”

“I ain’t no baby,” I retorted. I rose from the barstool, and walked over to him before getting engulfed in his long arms. “Let me go kiss my baby goodbye, I gotta go get my stuff.”

  I had never been in my apartment by myself for this long. Maria was either at day-care or Nadia’s around this time. I was usually at work, getting ready to go on my lunch break with this girl named Paula. She had recently transferred from a graphics company from Minnesota and instantly fit right in. It had only been a week or so before we introduced ourselves and by the next week, we had established lunch dates together.

After that I’d head back to work for three more hours. Probably finishing up a web design or doing some clothing mock-ups for a local business.

And still—that sounds way better than sitting in my apartment until one o’clock.

When I got in, I knocked right out. I mean sprawled out on my couch, legs all over the place with my head hanging halfway off for a good hour. Still, I woke up and realized I had two more hours to spare so in good efforts to not end up in a rut, I pulled out my laptop and opened up Photoshop and Illustrator.

When I initially started working with the thought of being a graphic designer, I always thought of it to be an odd job. Especially with few women in the field, it made me question it even more. But as I got older, I grew to have a love for computers and art. Problem: I couldn’t draw; but I took a summer course my junior year of high school on Graphic Communications and got taught the true meaning of being a graphic designer.

With months of practicing and training, by the time I was sixteen I had a certification in three Adobe Programs: Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign. My first ever job in graphics was working at this rinky dink store in lower east Manhattan called Dan’s Shirts where you could get anything design you wanted on a shirt; literally. If I wasn’t making the designs, I was screen-printing them all. Once I hit the age of eighteen, I was working over in Brooklyn with a guy who made banners and signs; way more money coming in on that end. Still, I did side jobs for extra cash. Making flyers for parties, covers for mixtapes—I wasn’t well known, but I still was doing something I enjoyed.

Now I have a career out of it. I don’t have to hustle anymore to make ends meet. The life I have now is something I didn’t think I’d ever have when I was younger.

I didn’t think I’d even get this far when Christian disappeared.

So I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me with Maria because without her I wouldn’t be here nor busting my ass to provide her better life.

Are you proud of me? I thought to myself as I allowed my eyes to get adjusted to the bright screen.

My censor moved and clicked around, looking for files hidden in folders I hadn’t opened in weeks. When the name loverboy popped up, I clicked on it hastily. When it opened, five documents popped into Photoshop, each still the same as I left them.

Christian would let me practice my photography skills on him sometimes. It could be something as simple as an innocent selfie, or a full blown photo shoot at times. This particular set of photos was a photo shoot I had done with him in this vintage Cadillac… right before he went missing.

When he was still here, he said he wanted me to make him, “look like a Calvin Klein model.” So I let him pick where he wanted to be shot at and when we arrived at that car lot, I looked over at him with a skeptical look, asking him, “you wanna shoot… here?” It was in that moment I had never seen him so sure of something in his life.

We had only gotten up to five photos because it started raining. So I had no other photos to choose from nor edit—then he went missing. And the rest is history, until I catch myself staring at them and realizing how much he really meant to me.

I closed out the document.

Before I could start looking for old projects to work on, my phone dinged, causing me to dig it out of my pocket and look at it.

My eyes squinted at the unknown number. A chill ran down my spine as I looked around my dim living room. Only light on was the light coming from my kitchen above my stove. Other than that, my living room was only receiving light from the open blinds.

My hands were trembling as I shut my laptop and ran into my room. I don’t think I had even given myself time to breathe until I jumped square in the middle of my bed with my pocket knife in my hand.

I gripped my pocket knife tighter against my chest. My knees were pulled to my chest as I looked around my room nervously. It was like all of my senses were on ten; my ears were picking up on cars that probably weren’t even in front of my complex. Everything I touched felt ten times more real than what it was—I couldn’t process a single thought.

I didn’t even get a chance to send a second text.

“Oh hell no…” I mumbled, screenshoting the text thread before deleting it all together. My body shook, hands shaking as I tried to dial Nadia’s number before giving up with a cry of distress. Instead I just sent her the screen shots and prayed she’d respond telling me she was playing around with me or some shit.

My endless banging never ceased. The outside of my fist started to ache and turn beet red, but I never let up. I was in such a daze I had no idea how I even ended up back in front of this very door—but I knew I had a mission to plan and I needed answers.

“Yo, aye hol’ up—“his voice came from the other end until he snatched the door open. “Lil’ bit? Why you bac—“

I pushed right past him. Tunnel vision clouded me. All of my sensibilities and common sense had left an hour ago. Endless possibilities of murder and screaming filled every nerve in my body until I was forced to face it.

“Talia,” his voice rang in my ear, I could feel his hand touch my elbow.

I turned around to face him. The look of discomfort and confusion wiped across his face. His eyebrows were furrowed as he toyed with his bottom lip with his teeth, three wrinkles found there place on his forehead.

“Where is he Chris?”

My lips snarled up as he looked taken back.

“Who—wha—where is who?” he asked, scrunching up his face and shaking his head.

Snatching my phone from my back pocket, I unlocked it and shoved it right in his hands.

“Where the hell is he and don’t lie to me,” enclosing the space between us, I looked up at him and watched as his eyes scanned the thread. “Chris!”

“What?!” He yelled. His eyes scanned the thread once more as he stuck my phone back out to me. “I… I don’t know what to tell you Talia, that could be anybody.”

I shook my head, snatching my phone away from him “Oh shut the fuck up wit’ that lame ass excuse!”

“Who you getting’ buck wit’?” he asked, “’cause I know you ain’t ‘bout to act an ass while your child is here.”

In that moment, my eyes snapped over to the flat screen television flashing bright lights. Some kids show was on; but my eyes landed on Maria sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by her toys—lost in the world of colors and shapes.

“Now we can take this in the kitchen.” He pointed at Maria. “See her? Ion’t think you want her to see you like that.”

“Ion’t think you wanna see what the hell is gon’ happen if you don’t tell me what the hell is goin’ on.” I cautioned. “Who else knows about him being missing Chris? Because as far as I know it’s only a few who really do.”

With a look over to Maria, Chaos grabbed my elbow and forced me into the kitchen with him. Upon entering, he roughly tore his hand away before placing a hand on my shoulder and shoving me towards the island.

With my left hand, I tore his hand off of me and took a step away.

“Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”

“Crazy?” I paused, gathering myself before I said anything stupid. “I got some random ass person stalkin’ me and tellin’ me Christian’s alive and you got the fuckin’ audacity my nigga to say that to me right now?” I asked, “Do you know how crazy you sound right now?”

He rolled his eyes, mashing his lips together. “Talia that’s not the point, you takin’ it—“I cut him off.

“I ain’t takin’ nothin’ out of context Chris, facts is facts, and the fact is that someone is lyin’ to me!”

“Who?” he yelled. “You ain’t think I’m wonderin’ where this shit comin’ from too?”

“You sure as hell ain’t actin’ like it!”

“If I knew who this was, my brother woulda’ been back by now,” he smacked his hands on the counter. “Stop makin’ it seem like you the only one lost, ‘cause I don’t know shit either!”

I paused. Speechless—I had nothing left to say. My anger had gotten the best of me and it resulted in me not thinking clearly on what exactly I wanted to say.

“See?” he pointed at me. “Jumpin’ to conclusions n’ shit, stop doin’ that shit.”

“How Chris?” I retorted back, banging my fist on the counter. “One minute I’m chillin’ on my couch and the next I’m getting’ told my boyfriend is still alive and that I’m basically bein’ lied too, now c’mon, what you want me to do? Be rational? ‘Cause being rational ain’t getting’ me nowhere, now is it?”

“Ain’t nobody sayin’ you gotta do anything, but stop thinkin’ everybody know what’s goin’ on.”

“We were the only people who knew he went missin’! How the hell am I not gon’ think you niggas don’t know what’s goin on?” He rolled his eyes at that, smacking his lips before retorting with,

“Because we don’t!”

Time stopped right there for me. The feeling of defeat wrapped me in a blanket made from anger and I let it suffocate me. I let the suffocation of anger and fear fill my chest as I weighed down my options of either, arguing more, or, letting the situation rock because it was now out of my control.  

“Bullshit…” I mumbled, shaking my head. “Listen, I just—I don’t know anymore.” My mouth slowly closed as I ran a hand through my hair. Chest rising up and down, I brought both hands together and intertwined my fingers.

“Don’t you gotta be at the airport?”

I snapped my head up in his direction before putting my gaze back on my hands.

“Yeah,” I answered, unlocking my hands and palming the counter under them.

I had a bitter taste in my mouth. My eyes threatened to leak—but I wasn’t going to do that. I wouldn’t allow him to see me break as such. Anger had me in its grip and I knew I needed to leave before I resorted into my hands speaking for me.

Shaking my head, I pushed my body away from the counter and without another word walked out of the kitchen with Chaos right on my heels. I could feel his bulky body inches from mine, but he soon stopped following me when he saw where I was headed.

“Hey mija,” I cooed towards her, picking her up off of the plush carpet. Her little arms wrapped around my neck in excitement as she left slobbery kisses on my face.

“Mommy’s gonna go, okay?” I whispered to her. Our noses touched as I placed a peck on her lips—a smile graced her tiny face. “I love you.”

As I placed her down, the sound of Chaos clearing his throat made me regret everything about today. With one last look at Maria, I turned towards him but walked for the door until he grabbed my forearm before I could reach the door handle.

“What?”

He sucked his teeth. “Don’t act like that.”

“Listen,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I have to go, make sure my baby is taken care of Chris.”

His eyes widen at the sound of his name before a short, forced, chuckle left his lips. He nodded before shaking his head and letting go of my arm.

“Have a safe trip.”

I couldn’t speak anymore. So I just walked out.

 Below the spectrum of depression is what I like to call “numbness”. Hence, you feel like you exist, but nonetheless, you still manage to feel like you’re in limbo. To you, there is no other reason to feel joy or the happiness you might want to have later on. In that state, it’s easy for you to misguide yourself and wonder what it would be like if you simply, weren’t there.

Would this have happened if I were never here?

If we never met, would he still be here?

If my life no longer mattered, would his fate still be altered?

My mind raced for some reasonable possibilities to keep my dark thoughts away. But each possibility matched one of my depressive thoughts—I wanted a drink. I wanted the biggest bottle of Chardonnay this plane had and I wanted it lodged down my esophagus.

But you’re better than that, I thought to myself.

My tongue laid flat against the roof of my mouth as I gnawed at my bottom lip. I let my acrylics tap on the glass window next to me, not caring if I annoyed anybody. For the time being I needed something, anything, to distract me from the oncoming wave of destruction I wanted to cause.

Chaos texted me shortly after I had arrived to the airport. Never knew the man to be such the novelist.

At the time of the text I hadn’t cared for him as much. Even now, I still don’t wish to speak to him. Call me childish or anything you’d like but I won’t surround myself with people who think of such situations as me playing a pity party for myself. Never have I once came to him with anything about his brother that wasn’t worthy of his knowledge.

Besides Maria, at least.

Now that this bombshell is on my plate, I’m lost for words on what to do. The person knows where I live, they know about Christian, so what else do they know? What don’t they know, is honestly the scarier part to me. Just the thought of Christian being out there alive and not knowing, or knowing a small fragment of what’s happened since he’s been gone makes me sick at it.

What if he knows?

What if he doesn’t? How much will it affect us?

With all the what if’s and not’s. With all the how’s and why’s—I still get nervous at the latter possibility. I get downright queasy with the thought of having to see him in a wooden box before I got the chance to tell him that I love him.

Before I could suck myself into a deeper hole, the plane shook with slight turbulence. Seconds later, the pilot announces,

Flight One-Eighty, you have arrived at JFK.

A smile of relief found my face. I envisioned the look of my father’s face when he sees me. I had so much to tell him, especially with Maria, I just hoped he held as much enthusiasm as I did.

So when the plane landed and I gathered my bags and walked off with the other passengers—my phone dinged twice.

[zemospuppet]

What is my life! I love tho song

Bouncin around at the speed of sound i'm all alone all alone! can you see me? no lights around hello hello hello hello You're so light! but your battery might die i'm beyond words and i don't know whyyyy God, could you deactivate? DEACTIVATE!my hearts made of stone of stone! What is my life? Ohhhh i'm a doin this right? Ohhhh i just realized that i might not know the hell is goin on fool me once fool me twice We're still gonna try! Oh! we're gonna carry on! Oh! if you can break these bones of mine i'm still the champion! what is my life? Ohhhh am i doin this right? am i doin this right? what is my life? ohhhhh

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: How'd I do? Your nan gonna give me another slap or shout me a drink next I see her? 😂 Janis: Well, I personally reckon you did alright but she's a harder woman to please Janis: I think you're outta the attack on sight group though so 👍 not bad for a night's work, lad Janis: How are you faring, I lost you in the crowd at several points so I'm dreading thinking who said what tbh Jimmy: 💪🏆😎🍻 Jimmy: Glad I had my bad boy shades, don't think I've been snapped so much in my life Jimmy: And at one point we basically had paps being so #goals Jimmy: but the insults were too slurred and 🇮🇪 to pack as much punch as you or your nan like Janis: mmblockoutthehaters Janis: not a fan of being the other side of the lens then, no? 😜 now you see my struggle, in all the ways 🙄 Janis: Yeah, they were on fine form, like Janis: Not Grace though, don't you think? Something's up and its not just date envy Jimmy: shut up you're sooooooooooo about being my muse Jimmy: yeah it was a good night all round, cheers Jimmy: it'll be drama with the flat whites or fuck boy. Lot of dumping done, wasn't it? Jimmy: Mia alone is a lot to get out of your mind 🎻 Janis: Suuuuure 😏 well, all the extra exercise with Twix is no doubt benefitting my grade in Sports so Janis: Owe ya one, don't I? Janis: Though reckon you just settlin' cos my actual model sister would charge you a fee, like Janis: More fucking fool me, ay? 😕😉 Janis: 👍 not too bruised? Janis: not just chattin' 'bout ya ego Janis: Probably right, yeah, it'll be Mia...I don't think she was that arsed about Harry, though she acted it Jimmy: I'd have to get in line, Twix'd never let me have first dibs collecting that debt Jimmy: I don't know what's more of a headwrecker that your sister is a proper model or that she's the only one #geneticsgamestronginyourgaff Jimmy: Still angling to get a pair of kicks off me? Take it up with 🎅 I did my bit on the 🎁 front 🤞 Jimmy: You better not be chatting that 😎 selectively remembering only your wins again, are you? Jimmy: Bet she's devo about Tammy #relatable 😂 Jimmy: what a giant hole in our lives Janis: She's 🥇 Janis: No matter what hype you're on Janis: True we're #blessed but don't let me catch you commenting on it again, IRL or on the 'gram Janis: I'll have to become that bitch and I don't think I've got the time tbh Janis: 🤐 nope, no complaints here, for the big man or yourself, like Janis: Hmm? I suddenly can't recall, maybe 'cos that useless bint next to us practically brained me when her club flew away from her Janis: Looks like you'll have to schedule a rematch if you wanna be covered in glory 🤷 Janis: Poor Lurch...who's the real loser here? Being such with bulllyimia Jimmy: Done and done Jimmy: Can't win 'em all...oh Tammy I thought we had something proper special babe Jimmy: what you doing today? Ready to take on the challenge any time you wanna lay it down Janis: So did she! But you will insist on bouncin' onto the next one, like 😉 Janis: make up your mind, Jimothy Janis: I'm wallowing in my pit currently...avoiding any fad diets and weird exercise regimes being implemented and spring cleaning and yet more leftovers curry Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 😎💪 Jimmy: I envy that Jimmy: any suggestions for a film that me, Bobbin and Cass can sit through? I'm drawing a blank on an animated musical with violent themes rn like Janis: You wouldn't if you could smell me Janis: Sexayyy Janis: Hmm Janis: There's that one where all the dinosaurs die at the end? Right, they probably throw out the odd tune too Janis: I'd say Lion King fits the spec actually but don't wanna start their year off with a heaping dose of trauma Jimmy: With you there Jimmy: Fuck it I'm sticking Mulan on and shutting their gobs with sweets Janis: That'll do it 👍 no one gives a shit if the bad guy gets it in the neck Janis: especially not from a sassy lady #feminism101withgracieguru Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she was really cracking out the nye vids #content Jimmy: silver lining of the 💔 a good GRWT Janis: Gotta show 'em what they're missing, or whatever Janis: Think Mia had a party at hers, purely so Grace couldn't come Janis: hostess with the mostest she ain't Janis: Devvo there wasn't another shit party for us to ruin tho, obvs Jimmy: school is still days away we've got time Janis: don't tempt fate, mate Janis: you've not got the 🍀 Janis: don't think my bro or the garda can handle it Janis: fuck knows where he is, still a no-show Janis: s'my job, like Jimmy: Maybe he's with my MIA pops Jimmy: weird one that'd be Jimmy: I did think he might have a new missus, but that's going a bit far like Janis: Both in the drunk tank, for their sins Janis: Maybe, Christmas wishes and all that Janis: Could find the time to give you a bell still Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Wanna come over and walk the 🐶 ? Cass and Bobby'll be as 🤢 as I imagine you are polishing off this lot Jimmy: Can't count it as weird fad often as we're out Janis: Alright, save 'em from themselves Janis: and you from losing your mind 😵 Janis: not long 'til school now, save your wishes for that like the other single mums Jimmy: Done. Jimmy: Bring Gracie if you can find her, she'll have no secrets after 10 mins with them two Janis: I have the distinct impression she's avoiding me, which is weird, 'cos pretty sure I've said worse and been forgiven quicker, like... Janis: but maybe if I tell her her fave barista boy is there she'll come out to play? Janis: we've got a load of leftover sparklers, I'll bring 'em, so make sure they've got their gloves on Jimmy: 😮 maybe its her ny resolution Jimmy: 💪😎 guaranteed Jimmy: They'll be your besties then at least Janis: Yeah, guess she's sticking to all her promises this time, she's done with me forreal, at least 'til midway through the month, like Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll bell her but no promises you'll get your fave twin Janis: who doesn't love shiny things? bet there's some bones for Twix too, what a 🏆 I am Janis: if there was any doubt left in your mind Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Oh, looks like she's at the gym Janis: thanks insta Janis: I'll leave it then Jimmy: Yeah, can't promise a decent work out, hyped as Twix is Jimmy: make do with you then, won't I Janis: Looks like it, pal Janis: Unlucky Jimmy: I'm well gutted, mate Janis: Better take it up with someone who gives a fuck 😜 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: the dog is enraptured, thanks for the tip Janis: Stop yapping and get to moving then! Janis: I've gotta shower, its that serious Janis: let me live, boy, ugh Jimmy: [Sends a pic of him being kissed to death by Twix] Jimmy: you ain't that special, mate Janis: Ouch Janis: 🔪💔 Janis: double betrayal Jimmy: #hookedherwithmysobstory Jimmy: you did yourself over with the good advice Janis: always the way Janis: too smart for me own good Janis: i'll get back on the shelf, like Jimmy: speaking of should we take the oldies dog for them? I'd naturally be buzzing to see your nan again Janis: see, knew you loved it really Janis: worse than my sister Janis: but it is a point Janis: probably chewing through the walls as we speak Jimmy: #relatable Cass is much the same Jimmy: I better start penning my pops a note, more pages for him to have to read the better 😜 Jimmy: might stop at 5 sides if he bothers to reply to my texts like Janis: wondered what bit you was referring to there...like surely she's not wasting her time with boys already?! but gotcha Janis: phew Janis: that'd be a whole saga to try and put on a post-it Jimmy: Dad would love that, two of us out from under his feet Jimmy: Marry Bobs off if he could 😂 Jimmy: but nah she's only 😍 for Twix same as you Janis: its a real shame the gov ain't on his side for that one Janis: the travellers do it, and they all turn out FINE, geez Janis: think your Da would be obligated to at least provide you all with your own caravan though Janis: no escaping fatherhood, eh? Jimmy: 👍 stuff of dreams there Jimmy: I am about a decent caravan though Jimmy: same goes for the others, always asking me when we going back Skerries Jimmy: steady on kids that shit's still #raw Janis: Awks..that's a holiday romance for you, lads, gotta make it a one-way ticket, no returns 😂 Janis: Maybe by Easter hols you'll be able to show your face 'round there again Janis: Weather would be better too Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: But yeah #fullofgoodideasyou Janis: full of something, has been said 😎 Janis: gotta gee myself up to see that bath again 'neway, been strictly cold showers since, like 😉 Jimmy: 😏 new year, new you though so Jimmy: #yougotthis Janis: can't say 'make more of a prick of yaself in 2039' was high on my resolution list, soz about it Janis: know how much you enjoy it 🙈 Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: I was down for the challenge if you were 😜 Janis: 😳 Janis: always a fool for you, boo Jimmy: 💕 cute Janis: 🖕 do it all for the 'gram Janis: still hate u Jimmy: 💋 Jimmy: same mate, same Janis: i feel it Janis: how long can we keep this charade going, like? 🤔 Jimmy: Gotta stretch it out 'til v-day naturally Jimmy: in it for the 🎁 Jimmy: in that spirit you want me to pick you up or you gonna walk to ours when you're ready? Janis: or the next, steak and blowjob day Janis: I see you boy Janis: that said, if we eating steak and all the love-heart shaped confectionery, I better walk it 💪 Janis: this is clearly why people always get fat when they're loved up Janis: not saying weigh your Dad for proof when he finally arrives but Janis was timed out 18 hours ago Jimmy: not saying we've got one realistically Jimmy: How good's your guestimation skills? Could feel another 🏆 coming on Janis: FUCCCCCCCCCCCK Jimmy: ???? Jimmy: you okay mate?