#gonna queue all my posts for once a day until i can become active again 🥲

[etherea1ity]

sorry for being so inactive you guys! uni has really been kicking my ass 🥲 hope you're all doing well! remember we're all struggling together, you're never alone 🫂

[onyourzeus]

11:48 am | pjh

title: 11:48am pairing: park jaehyung (of day6) & you genre: fluff, bullet style words: 2.1k

author’s note: mmm i’m kind of meh about this but i jus really needed to write so i don’t lose motivation, but this is just a short fic requested by this anon asking for a lazy day scenario with jae. hope it’s still an okay read.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

once you receive a specific text from jae on a regular day

“whatchu doinnnn” 

you know he’s wondering if you’re not busy, and if you come hang out at his place

which, for the majority of the time, you always tell him “not much. y?”

even though you’re 99% sure of what he wants out of you

you have already made your way to a coffee shop before he had replied 

“same. wanna do nothing together? :)”

so u get two coffees: one americano and one vanilla latte (as much as you want to cut down calories here, there is no way you can drink just water and espresso by itself

you decide on getting two sandwiches as well, it’s close to noon and there’s a high probability that jae just woke up and he hasn’t even moved from the bed

you’re lowkey happy that jae texts you first (assumingly) during days like this because, honestly you miss the 6 foot lanky nerdy soft boy a lot

jae has a habit of keeping to himself during his downtime, especially now 

but with him streaming and having new friends through the platform has helped him socialize and feel a sense of normalcy from the world, which you are really glad for 

he’s mentioned how much he misses doing band activities but doesn’t really elaborate on them

he think he talks about it too much and that you wouldn’t want to hear his repetitive whining

you don’t have the needed bravery in your heart (yet) to tell him you will never get bored or feel burdened by his thoughts, no matter what they entail

so for now, when he asks of your presence in his lovely abode— you make time for him. always. 

even if it’s just a lazy day of doing nothing

you knock on his door and text him at the same time. you look around his neighborhood and enjoy the peace and quiet outside. you wonder if jae’s soundproof walls work well enough for his next door neighbors this time. you had told him multiple times that sungjin wouldn’t appreciate the noise too much, and he if he wanted to play he can do so at your place 

however you never suggested that last thought. it swam in the sea of your thoughts one too many times but it never came to shore. you thought too much about the implications of that idea

besides, what good came out of reminding him of his streamer noises is that he finally has an apartment of his own

and you don’t feel as shy or out of place whenever you came over to the one he shared with the boys 

“oh hey, wasn’t expecting you,” jae had opened the door and you snap out of your wondering

he greets you with drowsy eyes, a full yawn and long strands of hair sticking out everywhere 

you huff out a breath and show the goods in your hands. “you’re definitely gonna need this.”

his eyes light up as he recognizes the contents of the paper bag

“whaaaat you shouldn’t have, i was about to order for delivery,” he tries for an innocent tone but the goofy smile on his face makes that extra trip to the cafe worth it

“you’re welcome, jae.”

lazy days with jae come in two ways

number one: absolutely the title. you crash on the bed, he scolds you for it but then you feel his crushing weight on top of you for revenge or

you hog the couch, splay your legs until jae does the same thing and entangles all your limbs together it becomes a semi wrestling match

number two: he’d end up wanting to do something all this time, either jam on his guitar or play WoW with you in the background, just watching

commenting on things you have 0 knowledge about, and him dismissing every words you say with a random scream from his end

“you’re so bad at this lmao”

“NONONO STOPSTOPSTOP NONONO”

“is the riff supposed to sound like that? ew” 

“you want your face to meet my guitar? :)” 

yeah, banter between you can be brutal like this which is why it gets a little embarrassing to be your true self with him when the others are involved 

today, jae seems to just enjoy sipping on his iced coffee while tippy tapping on the floor to sit next to you on the couch

??? how can a grown man do something puppies so effortlessly pull out… just as cute if not even better??? 

usually, silence isn’t how the two of you spend lazy days together. once he’s thought of a topic to talk about, however out of this world or mundane it could be— the conversations you share are what you cherish the most bonding with jae

“you ever think about the first piece of a roll of sliced bread?”

“you mean the weird looking pieces no one ever chooses first and leaves it there until there’s none of the good slices left?”

“the very one” “what about it?”

“you’re that slice of bread”

“well yeah? jokes on you, you’re the OTHER piece. there’s two in a pack dumbass” 

one would mistake this as insulting, but this is how jae shows his affection to you, and you wouldn’t want it any other way

there’s a certain comfort in just.. not deliberating whether you’d overstep a line or say something that would be misconstrued. with jae, you appreciate the candid friendship you mutually benefit from

his sarcastic personality can be a pain at times when not needed, of course, but when you’ve missed him so much it just feels right

“jae your legs are too long for the couch get a new one.” he had taken over the other end of the couch with his legs over yours, and you’re trying your best to make the position comfortable

but being inches close to his socks and noticing that he’s intentionally moving his feet about just to annoy you

“you get me a new couch so we both fit here”

“bro do you know how empty my wallet is rn” 

“as empty as your love life?”

“oh we’re talking about ourselves right now? ok cool”

he scoffs at your comeback, but he remains speechless and gives you room to breathe. you panic for a second thinking maybe, this is the unexplained boundary he has to draw a line on? love? 

but he puts down his already finished americano, and looks back at you a deadpan expression

you sit up as well, nerves creeping up on your arm. you didn’t want to take it too far and in your defense, this isn’t the first time you teased each other about your, well, non-existent romantic endeavors

“jae, i—”

“oh my god did you see your face?? i was kidding chilllll” he starts to burst into a fit of laughter, the kind where he loses air and lolls his head back 

this time you pout, reaching over to flick him on the forehead. his 6th sense had improved a lot overtime being with you as he blocks your hand away from his face, and sticks a tongue out

“you think i wasn’t prepared for that anymore?” he taunt, locking his grip around your wrist

“now you’re just making fun of me” >:(

“you get really puffy cheeks and look adorable when you’re mad” 

“THAT IS NOT A VALID REASON!!”

eventually he lets you go, pats your head then proceeds to just ruffle it as messy as his, and in an instant your mood changes again

you shouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, you love jae’s company and it would kill you if he’d one day decide he’s too old or too “mature” for moments like this

you get winded up with denial of having a crush on your best friend, and you’re so sure he knows at this point

because he reels you back into the present and challenges you to a game os super smash bros

and when he loses, he does it again. and you win again, and this time he says it was just a warm-up and he shouldn’t go easy on you anymore

and then you win again, and you’re the one cackling in the air at his look of defeat as well as the 6 losses he had endured during the matches

“man you’re getting rusty”

“am not! i’ve just been playing WoW too much i’m not used to switch controls anymore…”

“sure buddy”

“HEY, 1v1 me in league right now, i dare you”

“no”

“WHY?”

“you only have one desktop, stupid. i didn’t bring my laptop”

“oh so by default I win :D”

nothing can ever get away with jae, he always needs to have the last laugh with you and at times it’s frustrating, but his carefree charisma has grown on you so much that you anticipate what else he has in store to give you a hard time 

jokes on him, you fall for jae just an inch deeper the more he treats you comfortably this way 

it’s only been an hour or two, but jae had decided that he’s done enough productive stuff for the day (read: losing too many times) and invited you over to chill on his bed

it’s not an uncommon sight for the both of you to lie next to each other, taking turns with queueing up music on spotify. songs you and jae love together, and those that are new to your ears 

sometimes, you’d talk over the playlist— it becomes more of background noise as jae asks you about your day, the days before that, and what you’re planning on doing in the future

he doesn’t ask for specific answers, he likes to hear how you’ve been feeling, emotionally so

jae has always been intrigued by other people’s perception of themselves, of the things around them, and of what they think of the universe in the back of their minds

it was a little too much to handle, those questions of his, when you first were just getting to know each other

but he eased into it naturally, confessing about his love for the moon— its beauty in appearance, and the beauty of its purpose

which made you think… you’re in love with the moon too, not just what you see in the sky

but what you see right next to you right now

jae had given you enough time before to open up about your own thoughts, struggles, and share secrets with him. it didn’t take long until you found the trust between you and held onto it for dear life

lazy days with jae can be just that— lazy, loafing around the house, stealing a chip or two from each other’s bag, falling asleep to the sound of lofi music on the speaker

but it can go this way too: with jae explaining how good this one song can be, the metaphors every verse carries with the melody. “you’ve always heard of chocolate eyes or whatever, but blueberry? and to describe the setting sun as strawberry skies? amazing, GENIUS” 

and you laugh, and listen to the same song over and over as per jae’s request until he overpowers the original vocals— and you don’t complain, there’s not a sound you love to hear on a lazy afternoon than his low register, the kind of singing he does just for the heck of it. he’s not exerting too much range, too much work on the words he sings— he’s just doing so to comfort him, to bring life to the room, to dwell on each poetic verse’s meaning

i’m so lost in your blueberry eyes

he finishes singing, and the playlist shuffles to an instrumental lofi track with an upbeat, charming rhythm to it

jae keeps his eyes closed, smiling to himself probably proud for his faux performance

“you done gloating in your head yet, jae?”

“shut up i’m feeling the moment”

you poke his shoulder with yours, and you’re suddenly hyper aware at how close the two of you are.. physically, right now

he turns his head towards you, eyes fluttering, lips slightly open. he catches you staring, and it’s too sudden for you to look away and pretend it’s not awkward at all

“what are you doing?” he asks, a lilt of teasing on his voice but his eyes never leave yours 

“sh..shut up,” you quip in a small voice, looking down on your laying bodies before turning away, cheeks warm

“wait what? what i was asking a genuine question—”

“i was.. feeling the moment, okay? god jae you’re annoying” you mutter under your breath, a lousy response to cover up the pounding in your chest

“this moment feels really nice, doesn’t it?” he says next to you, quiet but gentle

you pause for a second, taking in his words and letting go of the smile you’re trying to hold off on

your heart is still racing, but there wasn’t a need to worry about stumbling with your feelings

if jae himself is enjoying your own company right now 

“it is. if it’s with you, it really is.”

[elinaline]

I hot tagged both by @sunny-day-sky and @breadstyx so I guess I'm forced to do this game

1. why did you choose your url?

it's my name and then some, and also because I can't get back my old url @gallicisme :'(

2. any side blogs?

yeah ! there's @thisisreallyanartblog for all the art that really fucks, @aniledotpng for my original art, and @life-like-game where I used to make fun of all the reddit shower thoughts about how life is a video game but I kinda abandoned that one

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

five years ! I joined in 2016. I've been lurking since 2014 tho

4. do you have a queue tag?

yes ! I haven't used it much lately it depends on the mood I guess. It's #is it a queue or am i still awake, because i started using it last year during the lockdown, when my mental health was at -2 and my sleep schedule was terribly fucked. I'm still trying to unfuck it, too

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I was into kpop at the time, and kpop tumblr is more bearable than kpop twitter and that says a lot lol

also I wanted to make foreign friends

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it's art by @trowan-art !!!!!!! It's so good !!! they made a portrait of me and it's so good !!!!!!!!!!!!!

7. why did you choose your header?

pretty sunset brain goes brr

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

so I guess it would be a reblog I did of Emily chef-pyro on that one gifset of spiderverse... original post I think it's the second Caretaker dance ! either that or one of the posts I made about the french protests that got turned into riot porn :/

9. how many mutuals do you have?

A Bunch

10. how many followers do you have?

a bit under 500

11. how many people do you follow?

A Bunch² a lot actually but about 80% of the people I follow are artblogs that are active like two or three times a year. And a good portion of the rest are mutuals

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

does that not just mean a joke post. have I- have I made a joke yes I did

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

too much if we're being honest lol, but it really depends on the days also ! days where I'm feeling like absolute shit and everything makes me anxious I'll be on tumblr more because I literally cannot focus on anything anyways

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

there was that guy once who tried to harass me when I told him raccoons are wild animals and not pets but I blocked him and reported him after like two anons. I generally don't fight people on here: if they come with a fighting mentality that means everything will come out of bad faith and I don't have the energy to talk to a wall that does not listen but punches you

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I filtered "need to reblog" so I wouldn't have to see them anymore, I'm not coming here to be guilt-tripped by strangers

16. do you like tag games?

depends ! some like this one are really fun and some are less

I also tend to forget to do them because they get buried in my notes, contrary to asks that stay in my inbox until I have the disponibility

17. do you like ask games?

fucking love them, but wish they had less "what is your favorite album/movie/book/quote/author/whatever" question that I can never answer which always stresses me out for some reason, and more specific/philosophical stuff

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

oh A Bunch again ! idk how but two writers I like a lot have decided to become my mutuals, there's an Original Tumblr Funnyguy... it's really funny because I don't have many followers, but sometimes I have posts that have a huge impact because of them. Also I know a couple of them became mutuals through me, like seeing each other's posts on my blog, and I find it hilarious. I am the cupid of friendship. I am creating a polycule of cool people and they are all falling for each other as well

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

don't you ? I mean it's always a bit complicated with me to know like... what type of feeling I am experiencing, and also acting on it, but there's definitely a couple whom, if I could and if my brain let me (I think that's the biggest obstacle), I would kiss a little maybe 👉👈

20. tags?

it's gonna be difficult to tag people who weren't already tagged uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh @whowasarchituttleanyway @hatcrufle @rayisahuman @hurlumerlu @i-is-void don't feel pressured to do it tho

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[suitofvibraniumarmor]

Yours Truly [Part Thirteen]

Summary: Chris, Sadie, and Layla go to visit Sadie’s family, and come back to an unpleasant surprise. Pairing: Chris Pratt x OFC, Chris Evans x OFC Word Count: 1795 Warnings: None. A/N: This fic was previously posted on my multi-fandom account; in honor of OC Appreciation Day, I figured I would queue it all up for your reading pleasure throughout the day! This was a collab with @captain-s-rogers , and I will link her chapters at the end of all of my posts! Some GIFs were difficult to find again, so if there’s no credit, they’re from Google Image Search or from the original post. 

July 19

Caroline,

I got the job here in Lawrence! I’m so, so excited. I’ll be teaching one of the two kindergarten classes and can start setting up my room in a couple of weeks, once I get through all the new hire hoopla.

I also found a house to rent. It’s a little farmhouse, owned by an older couple who have sold off most of their land and just rent the house now; there’s a couple of bedrooms, so you’ll have somewhere to stay when you come visit! You know, in eight years when Mr. President has completed his terms.

We’re going to Wichita this weekend to pack up my storage unit and bring it all here. Chris and Layla will meet my family while we’re there, and if all goes well, Chris and I agreed it will be a good time to tell Layla that we’re together. I think she has some idea, but I’m looking forward to actually telling her.

Okay, I think I have rambled about myself for long enough. How are things in D.C.? I’m glad Chris didn’t let you step down — you have worked SO HARD for that job, and no one can do it better than you! Even with this weird media stuff. I’m guessing the Caroline-look-alike girlfriend was your idea? Seems to be working, anyway. I just hope you’re being true to yourself and heart through all of this, C.

Only another month and summer is over. How has the time gone so fast?

Yours truly,

Sadie

After a long couple of days of new-hire orientation, Sadie was ready to be back at the Pratt farm, moving her few boxes to the new house. The trio would take their time getting up and around the next morning before heading to Wichita, and she was ready to be back home for a while. Sadie had always been close with her family, and she was even more excited for them to meet Chris and Layla.

Before driving back to the farm, she stopped at the elementary school to check in on her new classroom. She wanted to know what size of the room she was going to have so she could be thinking of decor.

“Ms. Coleman?” someone said, catching her attention as she walked toward the kindergarten hall.

Sadie turned. “Yes?”

“Hi,” the woman greeted. “I’m Libby Anderson. I teach second grade.”

“Nice to meet you,” Sadie smiled. “Please, call me Sadie.”

Libby gave a tight smile. “I hear you’ve been working with Layla Pratt this summer. How is she?”

Sadie was puzzled at first, but chalked up Libby’s knowledge of her summer activities to small town talk. “She’s great. Such a smart little girl.”

Another tight smile. “And Chris?”

Sadie’s concerns about Libby’s inquiry grew, tensing her muscles. “Um, he’s great, too. Are you a family friend? I’m sorry, I’m still working on getting to know everyone.”

“Something like that,” Libby answered. “I have a meeting to get to, Sadie, but I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

“See you,” Sadie replied as the other woman walked away.

Suddenly, the size of her classroom seemed of little importance. She changed course for the parking lot, then hurried back to the farm.

“She’s Emily’s sister,” Chris informed Sadie once Layla was down for a nap and Sadie had a chance to ask about her interaction with Libby at the elementary school.

Sadie nodded. “Now it all makes sense.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about that. The Andersons are just so far from my mind anymore. None of them have even tried to contact or see Layla since Emily left.”

“You don’t need to apologize. She should have been much more clear about who she is and how she’s related to you and Layla. I just hope it doesn’t cause problems at work.”

Chris shook his head. “I don’t see why it would. Why don’t you let me make you a glass of that peach iced tea? Ed’s coming by so we can talk about how things went while I was out of town, and I can tell him about a couple things I’m changing. You can just relax — well, till Layla wakes up, then I’m sure she’ll have other plans.”

Sadie chuckled. “You’re probably right about that. Thanks, Chris.”

She reinforced her gratitude with a kiss before heading off to her room. Until she was laying down, Sadie wasn’t even aware of how tired she felt; she was asleep before Chris brought in her glass of tea.

Both Sadie and Chris had expected for Layla to take a little time to warm up to Sadie’s family, but she took to them right away. She settled herself on Sadie’s father’s lap and immediately began telling him about the farm and about her birthday party and her trip to her grandparents’ farm in Minnesota. Justin listened intently, immediately enchanted by the little girl.

While Chris and Sadie got to packing things from storage into the trailer Chris had pulled behind the truck on the way down from Lawrence, Layla stayed with Sadie’s aunts. She was fascinated still about how they had taught Sadie to make a dress, and finally begged and pleaded long enough, Sadie’s aunt Marie got out the beginner sewing machine that Sadie and her cousin, Marie’s daughter Lizzy, had learned to sew on. When they returned to pick Layla up and head back to Sadie’s father’s house, Layla had successfully sewn a little pillow.

“I did it all by myself, Daddy!” she beamed. Aunt Marie was too kind to say any different.

Chris smiled. “I’m so proud of you, baby girl. Let’s get back to Justin’s house, okay? Daddy and Adie are gonna get cleaned up, then we’ll come back here for supper to meet more of Sadie’s family.”

“I don’t wanna go!” Layla said, crossing her arms over her chest and stomping her foot.

Sadie frowned. “Layla! Be nice, please.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, not sounding sorry at all. “I like Justin, but Marie teached me how to make a pillow! I wanna make another one for Sadie for her new house!”

Marie spoke up, kindly. “I don’t mind if she stays here.”

“You need a nap,” Chris told Layla when she looked at him hopefully.

“Can I take a nap here?” Layla asked Marie.

Marie nodded. “But only if it’s okay with your dad. He’s the boss.”

Chris exchanged a glance with Sadie, who shrugged. “All right. But please, continue to be on your best behavior, and use your manners.”

“Yessir,” Layla promised, rushing off for the sewing machine.

“Nap before more sewing, young lady,” Sadie called after her.

Layla groaned but called back, “Yes ma’am!”

Sadie thanked Marie profusely for keeping Layla for longer before following Chris out of the house. She indeed needed to get cleaned up, and was looking forward to seeing the rest of her family that evening.

“Are you comfortable with me talking to your dad about what’s going on with us before we go back to Marie’s?” Chris asked. “I know it’s sort of an outdated practice, just seems like the right thing to do, still. I don’t mean asking permission, or anything, just – making my intentions known, I guess.”

Sadie reached across the truck seat and took his hand. “I think that would mean a lot to my dad – and to me.”

Chris squeezed her hand before pulling her closer, finishing out the trip back to Justin’s house with his arm draped over the back of the seat, and Sadie singing along with him to the radio.

On the way back to the family dinner at Marie’s house, Chris broached the subject of telling Layla that he and Sadie were a couple.

“I’d like to get you all moved in, then maybe we can have dinner in town and tell her?” Chris suggested. “I figure a place with neutral ground is probably the best venue. She’s been so encouraging to you when it comes to me, I don’t think she’ll have a problem with it, but I want to make it as easy for her as possible.”

“I agree,” Sadie nodded. “I think she’ll be just fine – probably excited, to be honest – but you’re right, it’s better to make it as easy on her as possible.”

The agreement gave them something to look forward to when they returned to Lawrence; the couple was so excited about it, they confirmed for the family members who asked that they had indeed started a relationship. Fortunately, all of Sadie’s family was completely for the idea, and they understood about keeping it quiet around Layla until Chris and Sadie were able to update her on what was happening.

There were no goodbyes with the trio left Wichita, only see-you-later’s and lots of hugs from Layla to Sadie’s family members. Chris told Sadie that it could have been because Layla was older, but he had never seen her that comfortable even with Emily’s family. Sadie’s heart could have burst with that news; she was so in love with Chris, though she had yet to tell him, and her love for Layla had only grown from the first day she met the girl. She was already dreaming of the day they would all become a family, and expand that family, but she kept those dreams to herself for the time being – which turned out to be a good thing, she discovered a few hours after their return to Lawrence.

The heavy furniture had been placed in the appropriate places in the rental house, and the boxes were all in the house wherever there was room. Sadie would have a busy few days ahead, settling the house, but Layla could come with her during the day and help or play, so another sitter wouldn’t be necessary.

She had one night left at the Pratt farm, and they had planned on going into town for pizza after resting a while. Chris and Sadie were both on pins and needles to finally include Layla in their relationship, but it was soon clear that even that would have to wait.

“Whose car is that, Daddy?” Layla asked, leaning forward from her booster seat as they approached the farm.

Chris didn’t answer; Sadie glanced over at him and received a tight smile and a mumbled apology in return. That was all she needed to know exactly who had shown up uninvited to the farm.

Sadie stayed back, helping Layla out of the truck while Chris got out of the driver’s side and approached the woman standing at the top of the stairs.

“Hey, Chris,” she greeted politely – too politely.

He cleared his throat as Sadie approached behind him, carrying Layla. “What are you doing here, Emily?”

Part Fourteen

[copperbadge]

There was a recent discussion on tumblr, which I didn’t reblog for obvious reasons, about how people with a large readership cope with a heavy interaction load -- how the person would be anxious if they dealt with that volume of notes on each post, that amount of interaction and contact. I was tagged in it because of my habit of "lochnessing", where I cause an activity spike on posts I reblog that looks like the loch ness monster.

It never occurs to me, because I’ve dealt with high-volume social media for so long -- realistically about ten years, probably closer to fifteen -- that it’s difficult for people to handle that, because they don’t have the systems in place that I do. I mean it does occur to me in the sense that I have become more cautious about what I reblog and its impact on the OP; there are things I’d like to share with you but don’t because I recognize it would be harmful to the person who wrote them. But it doesn't occur to me that someone might struggle with a high volume of notes purely because it's a volume that they don't have a system in place to deal with the way I do.

So I said I'd do a writeup on the "entire ecosystems" I had in place for handling the high volume of interaction I receive online. I sit at a weird place where I'm not so well known that I can just ignore most of what comes at me with impunity because everyone acknowledges I can't answer it all, like say a youtube star. But at the same time I do get too much attention to return it at the same level I receive it. I am one and you are sixteen thousand. So I had to make systems to return as much as I could and feel okay about not returning the rest.

Reading through this, of course it sounds like a weird humblebrag: "Here's how I deal with my MASSIVE POPULARITY". There's no real way around that; I can't talk about how I deal with comments without talking about how I get a disproportionately high number of them. The fact that I do is what leads me to do things like the Zero Comment Challenge, or Radio Free Monday, to try and balance shit out. So, as I mention occasionally below, you can think I'm an asshole for talking about how I am popular, but I can't talk about how to deal with that popularity without acknowledging the reality of it, and someone somewhere's gonna think I'm an asshole anyway, so whatever.

These are the systems I use to manage my life -- work, play, the weird inbetween space that's kind of both. Many of these are akin to the systems that I use in managing my depression, in that they involve a lot of small steps building up to a big result, but each small step on its own is manageable.

Let's start with AO3, because it's actually probably the simplest.

I clean out my comments once a week. Usually there are between forty and a hundred and fifty, depending on if I’ve published something recently or been recommended by someone. 

I go through all the one-sentence comments first, because those are the ones that are least likely to require a response. I read all comments but I learned through trial and error, twice in ten years, that I am physically and emotionally incapable of responding to every comment I receive even if it's just with a "Thank you!" and I'm just going to live with the fact that people think I'm an asshole for that. Also while I appreciate someone who leaves a "Great fic! <3" comment, that's genuinely really cool and validating, I don't think they truly need or expect a response. So most one-line comments, unless they are super weird or contain a question, get read, appreciated, and then deleted. 

Then I go through the longer comments that need a closer reading, and delete any that are cool but still don't seem to require responses. If someone has left a ton of comments, I'll find the one I think is coolest or most needing of response, delete the others, and reply to that one comment with a thoughtful response including a line thanking them for all their other comments.

Finally, I respond to comments that are in-depth or have questions that require some thought. I find that if I don't respond to these on a weekly basis they pile up and then someone who asked a question like six months ago is still waiting for an answer, so this one is non-negotiable: my AO3 inbox has to be empty at the end of each week, and everything that needed a reply has to have one. (I do have one or two that just live in my inbox because they are cool ideas I will one day get round to writing, and I want to credit them when I do, but it's never more than two.) For me, it's easiest to wait until Friday or Saturday and just take an hour to clear them all out, rather than clearing as I go, because I don't have AO3 open all the time the way I do some other sites.  

Tumblr: Every morning, before work, I go through the previous night's responses; I open all reblogs/mentions in new tabs to read and reply-as-necessary, and I reply to all comments that need responses. (This is also something I'll do throughout the day, but especially if I'm tired or pressed for time, the comment replies might be saved as a draft or left in an open tab until I can get to them). Occasionally shit doesn’t show up or I miss stuff but I’ve learned to just live with that as the price of doing fandom on Tumblr. 

If there's a post by someone else that requires a response from me -- either a reblog of one of my posts, or someone tagged me in a post -- I Like it to find it later or I save it as a draft. I don't use Likes as anything other than "I want to be able to find this again in less than a week's time" and I never have more than about 20 Likes in my files. (Unless I’m traveling; it’s easier to Like something than save it as a draft or respond, so when I get home from traveling I often have 30-50 Likes in my file.)

Often on Tumblr I go through what I call the Line Cycle -- I read my dash, and then I go "down the line" and open all the other pages that might need attention, in specific order. I open asks and try to respond to a few -- I try to answer at least five every time but sometimes I don't manage to answer any for whatever reason -- then I open likes and try to convert as many likes as I can to either queued reblogs or drafts. I open drafts and try to convert some of those to queued reblogs. Then I go through the same process for one or two side blogs.

(Also in drafts are a lot of things that I'm not sure I want to put in my queue yet, or things that I put in the queue weekly like the Zero Comment Challenge post, which I dust off when I'm ready to queue it, then immediately re-save to drafts when it posts.)

Occasionally if I feel shit is getting out of hand I dedicate myself to, every time, not leaving the page I'm on until I've reduced its "count" (number of asks, likes, drafts, etc) by five, or at least to below the next multiple of five -- if I have 23, for example, I'll try to get it below 20.

Sometimes posts in tabs sit open for a while because in order to respond I have to read an article or watch a video, which take a lot of focus and attention. It used to be that recommendations for books or stuff to watch also sat open forever until I could get round to doing it, but now I just have a "reccs" file on the cloud that is a list of what I've been recommended and who recommended it, and I work my way through them slowly.

Email: Once I've read them, site notifications in my inbox get deleted; I've turned off follow/kudos notifications because they tend to be white noise.

Email is tough for me, it requires a lot of focus and emotional attention to answer emails, so I treat it the same way I would asks or likes or whatnot, but much more slowly. I tend to have a backlog of about thirty emails in my inbox, though often five to ten of those are emails that don't need response and that I'm saving (I star them to mark them as not needing attention). I have the multiple-stars function in Gmail turned on, and when it gets really bad, I start opening emails and triaging -- "This will be easier to answer" "This will take some time" etc. by starring them different colors.

I like to have no more than fifteen emails in my inbox but that is a rarity. 

The Internet: Because social media takes up a lot of my time and I also work eight hours a day (well, four, we'll get to that in a bit) I have streamlined the way I encounter the internet, as well. I have a list of "daily reading" bookmarks that I open every morning and check through -- the horoscope page, the mustard tag on tumblr (which I don't follow because then the same dumbass two hipster fashion posts keep showing up on my dash), a blog that follows and posts about new small flash games that I might enjoy playing, a few others. (I also have a Monday file that I open once a week, it's calendars of events and such, and I go through on Mondays and add anything to my calendar that looks interesting.)

But if I can, any regularly-updated page that has an RSS feed gets converted to RSS and put into my Netvibes reader account, where I peruse it at my leisure. The Netvibes reader account includes a direct feed from the Steve/Tony and Steve/Sam tags on AO3, plus a few others; longform.org, some cooking blogs I follow, a bunch of podcast pages, a few webcomics, and one or two tumblrs that I don't want showing up on my dash (mainly artists' porny sideblogs, what up you glorious pervs) or think I would make the person uncomfortable by following them.

I have five tabs pinned to Chrome at any given time, and four tabs pinned to Firefox. The Chrome tabs are my personal Netvibes, Google Drive, a Google Sheets spreadsheet with my calendar and accounting tabs in it, Gmail, and Tumblr. The Firefox tabs are a second Netvibes account I use for work (we have several news sources we all monitor daily), my non-fannish gmail, my non-fannish facebook with a custom reading page so I never see anything twice, and the Google "family calendar" that I and my family use to track where we all are and what we're doing.

My parents use this more than I do, which is why I often open the calendar app on my phone to check my work schedule and find that my parents are taking the dogs to the groomer's today (yes, I know I could turn this off, but it amuses me). When I introduced my mother to Google Calendar her eyes got super big and she fell in immediate love; the first three things she added were the birthdays of her two dogs, followed by the birthday of Jesus. I would be more insulted by this but I had already added all the family birthdays, so at least I didn't come in behind the dogs AND the Christ Child.

Once in a while, when I'm at work and I feel like I'm not sure what I should be doing or that my day is spiralling out of my control, I'll take a deep breath, pull up Chrome, and go through all my pinned tabs, one by one, changing or fixing something on each -- I'll clear out my Longform reading, answer a few emails, check the calendar, etc. Then I'll go through any open tabs and try to close at least one. I get anxious if I have more than five or six non-pinned tabs open. Like having an inbox that's rarely over thirty emails total, it's not a sign I'm more effective or efficient than anyone else, it's just a sign I'm debilitatingly anxious about this kind of thing.

Work: I've read, many times, that people who work eight hours a day in a white collar job like mine really only do four hours of actual work. And for a while I joked that I wondered if I even did four, because I dick around on the internet A LOT. But lately I started to genuinely wonder, and so for the past six weeks, I've put that statement to the test.

When I arrive at work, I immediately put in two hours of solid work. I don't read tumblr, I don't read anything but work-related material. I triage all my work emails, I go through my Google Task list for the day and sort things by most to least urgent, and then I work my way through them for two solid hours. It's not easy at all, but any time I think "This is when I would stop and read tumblr" I shake my head and try to do one more work thing, and then I get back in the groove and can do like, three more. I also use this first morning period to take care of "personal work", stuff which has to get done to keep my life running smoothly, like mailing packages or replying to my parents' emails or whatnot.

Then I get a half-hour break to read tumblr, play a flash game, maybe read a piece on Longform. (I don't read fanfic at work; I sometimes clean out Netvibes of fics that from the tags and summaries I know I won't be interested in, but I don't open fanfic at work at all.) I also use this time to get some food in me.

Then I do another two hours of work, same deal. And that's four hours of work. And I get a shitload done, let me tell you.

For the next three hours after, I am basically free to do whatever I want. I usually use about an hour to do some freelance work, and I spend time on tumblr or on personal email, reading articles, listening to podcasts, playing games. I eat a snack, I talk to my coworkers. I find I actually run out of new stuff to read, and I do try to process the old stuff, like empty out my drafts and likes. And of course the nature of my job means that sometimes there is work to be done that comes up suddenly, but it's usually just a matter of teeing it up for the following morning's work shift.

For the last hour of my work day, I go through my work inbox, make sure everything's set up for tomorrow, send any last emails, do any last wrap-up, and make sure all my documents are either saved or closed. (Our IT team likes to run updates and involuntary restarts without warning, so I've learned to always save at end of day.)

So, yeah. Those are some of the systems I have in place in order to run a very mentally busy life. I'm not necessarily recommending them; a lot of them won't work for everyone because everyone is different, and I recognize that some of them are inapplicable (I work a job with no outward-facing element to it; a barista or a librarian or a teacher can't do what I do, schedule-wise), and some of them are a level of regimentation I'm not sure most people would find healthy. But that's how I do my thing, and maybe some of my techniques will sound appealing to other people who occasionally feel, as I do, like they're drowning a little bit.

(Did you find this useful or interesting? Keep me organized and drop some change in my Ko-Fi or at my Paypal!)