#gorimbaudandgojohnnygo

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

They fucked all the time. Jack had the libido of a teenage boy. They went to the bar, shoved greasy food down their gullets at the diner, and hung out under the bridge. Milly took off her shoes and walked barefoot across the gravel and the shards from broken beer bottles. Jack gasped - "What the hell are you doing?" "It doesn't hurt," Milly said. She sat down next to him and lifted her feet to show him she didn't have any cuts. "I don't know, man," Jack said. Milly could tell he was impressed. She had the overwhelming, giddy desire to impress him as often as possible. Which was ridiculous - she wasn't eighteen anymore, didn't need to prove her coolness to anyone, especially not a boy seven years her junior. The desire was so strong, though, that she found herself name-checking bands she'd interviewed, scaling the sides of buildings, and drinking way more than she should, just to prove she could out-drink him, despite being a girl who was nearly a head shorter than he. He encouraged her behavior; he laughed, gasped, sighed "You're so cool." And she turned to him and said "I know," with a wink.

Sometimes he fucked her there, right under the bridge, in the silver circle of streetlamp light which gave them both a corpse-like pallor. As the nights grew colder, that stopped being an option. It was October, and Halloween was creeping up, treading across the wet leaves, blowing in on frigid, damp air. The moon was immense and blood-colored nearly every night. "It's the color of your hair," Jack said. He took her back to his apartment. They never went to her house. It would have been too strange, all those photographs of her and Hugh staring down. Jack's place was closer to the bar, anyway. His apartment was cramped and dusty. The circulation was poor, making the air stuffy and hot. The kitchen spilled over with crusty dishes and crushed beer cans.

"It's my roommates that drink the cheap beer," he said. "I'd never touch Milwaukee's Beast."

She never met his roommates, but late at night, when she tried unsuccessfully to fall asleep next to him, she heard the bleeps and explosions and stilted, digital music of their video games through the thin walls. It made her wonder how much they heard when she and Jack fucked, and made her glad she'd never met them.

Jack's room was always too warm. It smelled like dirty socks and cum, and the occasional waft of nacho cheese. The walls were bare and yellow. He had an extensive collection of comic books. Most of them were ones Milly had not heard of. After browsing through his CDs, Milly decided to make him some mixes. Other than his interest in old-timey country tunes, and a few punk bands everyone liked, his taste in music was crap. He owned a lot of nü-metal, and whiny goth stuff.

Jack wouldn't let her smoke in his room.

"My roommates don't smoke," he said, "and the circulation sucks, even if the window is open."

She crawled out his window and stood precariously, on the small patch of roof over the front porch. She smoked two cigarettes in a row, and dropped them, still smoldering, into the dew-soaked grass.

On a late October night, as Milly crawled in the window, the bottoms of her feet black and sticky from the tarred roof, Jack said: "I love you." He spat the words at her, angry. She knew what was coming next. As soon as they love you, they want to own you.

"You have to make the choice," Jack said. "I only want you. I want you to be with only me."

"Jack, honey," she reached toward him, to touch the back of his neck, but he jerked away. "I told you what was up, from the beginning. I can't give you any more than what I'm already giving. Either take it for what it is, or end it now."

"I don't want to end it. But I want -"

"You can't always get what you want. So just fucking take what you can get."

—from an unfinished novel titled “You Can Never Leave,” c. somewhere between 2005-2006

[notsoterriblymisanthropic]

tagged by @godzilla-en-mexico to post some of my favourite musicians and my favourite songs by them, so here goes:

Beach House - Levitation Cocteau Twins - Cherry-Coloured Funk Death Grips - Guillotine  Devo - Jocko Homo Discharge - State Violence State Control Gang of Four - 5.45 The Fall - Impression of J Temperance Fucked Up - Crusades The Hold Steady - Constructive Summer Kneecap - CEARTA Ministry - Breathe Misfits - Bullet Mobb Deep - Hell on Earth Mountain Goats - No Children  Porridge Radio - Danish Pastry Lyrics Protomartyr - Ellen Ramshackle Glory - Bitter Old Man Ronettes - Be My Baby Rudimentary Peni - Farce The Shangri-Las - Great Big Kiss Shop Assistants - All Day Long  Special Interest - Herman’s House Tragedy - To Earth Like Dust The Weakerthans - Pamphleteer Xiu Xiu - I Luv the Valley OH!

turns out about 25 songs is about as short as i can get that list. tagging @thewomanwithmissingfingers @gorimbaudandgojohnnygo @merricatly @agirlnamedbone anyone else who feels like doing it

[beatlblog]

CARALHO MÓ NENEM (via bealasanha-blog)

#i just like to say fuck the beatles to piss off music bros#who will not even question the idea of them being the most important band of all time#which is so ironic bc like#when the beatles first existed they were dismissed as a teenybopper band that GIRLS liked#then dudes started taking them seriously and they haven’t shut up about them ever since (via gorimbaudandgojohnnygo)

George Harrison photographed by Bill Zygmant in 1968

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

So…please do tell me all the juicy details of this boy you like who is not your fiancee. It’s great to share secrets with strangers because there’s no fear of anything getting back to the other parties involved. Also, I’m bound to understand. I have a very complicated relationship with Calloused Hands, the boy I live with. See, we were engaged, but we’re not anymore, because I realized I don’t ever want to get married. And we have an open relationship. He doesn’t really act on it, but I am always having mad affairs with boys and girls. That’s just how I am.

[from a letter, 1/3/07]

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

The Save the Date card for our wedding. (The photograph we used was taken in June 2009, on the train tracks in Santa Cruz, and remains one of my favorite photos of us, ever.)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

A postcard to K. aka Maggie, written sometime between 2006-2008

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

Me, on the final stop of the Perpetual Motion Roadshow, in Chicago—at Quimby’s! (September 2003)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

the view from the window at the Pick Me Up Cafe, Chicago (c. early spring 2004)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

from Tattoos Fade (August 2016)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

I was tagged by @notsoterriblymisanthropic to post some of my favorite musical artists/favorite songs by them. The usual caveat: I have so much favorite music that this doesn’t begin to cover all of it, it was just what I came up with off the top of my head.

A Silver Mt. Zion - “More Action! Less Tears!”

Bikini Kill - “Rah! Rah! Replica”

Bruce Springsteen - “Atlantic City”

Buzzcocks - “What Do I Get?”

The Clash - “Rudie Can’t Fail”

The Cure - “Pictures of You”

Effigies - “Haunted Town”

The English Beat - “Save It For Later”

Firewater - “Dark Days Indeed”

Fontaines D.C. - “Too Real”

Fugazi - “Do You Like Me?”

The Gun Club - “The Fire of Love”

IDLES - “Colossus”

Jawbreaker - “Condition Oakland”

The Lawrence Arms - “The Ramblin’ Boys of Pleasure”

Leadbelly - “Where Did You Sleep Last Night?”

Leonard Cohen - “Everybody Knows”

Naked Raygun - “Hips Swingin’”

New Order - “Temptation”

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - “The Curse of Millhaven”

Patti Smith - “Dancing Barefoot”

The Pogues - “Sally MacLennane”

Prince - “Little Red Corvette”

The Replacements - “Left of the Dial”

The Slits - “Ping Pong Affair”

Team Dresch - “Musical Fanzine”

Tom Waits - “Hold On”

The Velvet Underground - “White Light/White Heat”

Violent Femmes - “Kiss Off”

World/Inferno Friendship Society - “Only Anarchists Are Pretty”

I’ll tag @spilladabalia @endreal and @junkmanserenade - but don’t feel obligated. If I didn’t tag you and you want to play, consider yourself tagged!

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

A handwritten (by me) version of Jack Terricloth’s Circus Punk Protocols

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

This diner is the right kind of diner The kind where grizzled biker dudes sit and drink coffee and read the paper Where the coffee is thin and watery And the food is good and greasy And the waitresses call you hon And the music on the radio is terrible Cheesy, maudlin pop ballads that I hate

The diner is right but the time is wrong Where did the last 13 years go and what do I have to show for it Except some words I wrote and more lines around my mouth and eyes

I look out the window and I keep expecting to see a boy with a shock of dark hair and myself standing next to him propped against the warm hood of his car smoking a cigarette Prolonging the moments before I have to get in my car and head home

The diner is right but the man on the radio sings I've been looking for love in all the wrong places

And I find myself tearing up

—c. summer 2014

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

Two different versions of issue #15 of my zine (which was ultimately subtitled some stories from my cut & paste heart), c. September 2010

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

I have to concentrate when we kiss (autumn 2006)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

Free and Easy:

Fucking Looks Fun!

The God beer Cure

Go Go Girl says

serve this Chicago

heat

July Collection of Days

Yeah

(some collage poems Ali & I made, c. summer 2002)

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

a collage I made, c. summer 2002