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timextoxhajima · 4 years ago

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Nevertheless: Pride & Dignity [14]

CHAPTER NAVIGATION [COMPLETED]

synopsis: hwang seol eun finds herself stuck between a toxic relationship with lee hyunjae and a heart-fluttering dynamic with lee juyeon

pairing: jujae x [fem] reader, 3rd person pov [read as hwang seol eun]

genre [per chapter]: fluff, angst

word count: 3.7k

taglist: @hyunjaethereal @yyyerum @purrple-winkle @17scheol @ten-gift @louvyves @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @flwrtbz @gyujaehyun @i2gyus @sunwoowuvbot @softforqiankun @givememunjang @peachyho @vousty @bubutaeyongie @sofie296 @deputyjuyeon @changminurheart @from-xero @grassbutneo @sknyuz @pockyandme @itstbz @bluecrane01 [pls use this link to submit your URLs for tagging!]

seol eun rolls around in her bed, throat dry and eyes feeling swollen for some reason. the curtains were drawn, though they weren't the night before. the coolness of the room sets in, but she realises the blanket had been pulled up to her shoulders. then, a cloth slides down her forehead and lands right next to her cheekbone, causing a series of surprise blinks.

a yawn stretches her mouth, and she feels the corners of her lips crack as she reaches up to get the cloth. the warmth on one side tells her it was for a fever, and so she sticks her palm behind her knee.

hot.

she slowly sits up, groaning from the weird sensation of feeling hot and cold at the same time. but juyeon peeks his head into her room with the intention of checking up on her, and enters the moment he processes that she's awake.

"hey," he quietly greets and walks over. he sets the glass of water on her night stand and sits by the edge of her bed. "you had a fever this morning and you didn't seem to wake up when i shifted so i thought i'd just leave you to get more rest."

"oh," seol eun frowns and licks her dry lips. "what time is it now? i gotta tell mi jung."

"mi jung already called. i told her you're not feeling well," juyeon leans forward and presses the back of his fingers against her forehead.

"did you... tell her about sang hyuk yesterday?" she whispers, eyes fluttering shut and opening multiple times.

"i didn't have to. she already guessed, and she told me you get sick whenever something like that happens, so," juyeon purses his lips into a sad smile, leaning back and picking the cloth up from her hand. "you're still running a fever so i suggest you stay in bed and rest today. i'll take leave and you don't worry about your meals today, okay?"

"what? no," seol eun whines, struggling to sit up as she rejects the offer. "come on, mi jung already told you this isn't the first time. i can handle myself."

"you can, but why let you when i can do it for you?" juyeon grins, eyes slimming into thin, feline crescents. "stay in bed or go wash up if you have to. but no working today."

so he pecks a kiss to her forehead, turns around with the cloth in his hands and leaves the room. "have the glass of water on your night stand! your lips are falling apart."

and with a small smile, seol eun turns, looking at herself in the curve of the glass.

mi jung sniffles noisily, noticing another person who worked in the building shoot her a tiny glance as she does. so she squints and sniffles even louder, rolling her eyes to herself as she brings the phone up to her ear.

it takes a few rings before seol eun picks up, but it wasn't seol eun. it was-

"mi jung, this is juyeon!"

"uh- that was quick."

"what?"

"nothing," mi jung clears her throat. "is she at your place or are you at hers?"

"i'm at hers. i stayed with her last night."

"ah. is she running a fever after the whole sang hyuk fest?"

"how did you know?"

"have i known her longer or you?"

"right," he pauses. "yeah and she didn't wake up when i got out of bed so i just didn't wake her."

"okay. i'll help lock her as sick today," mi jung stretches her neck. "are you taking care of her today?"

"yeah, is that okay with you?"

"who do you think i am? her mom? do what you want, just don't get her pregnant or in tears again."

"oh- uh- sure, of course."

"alright, bye bye now. use protection if you must," and with those last words, she doesn't bother to wait for juyeon to say the same. she hangs up and shoves the phone back into her pocket, this time now meeting the eyes of her fellow lift-taker. "what? ever heard of 'being responsible'?"

and the lift dings at ground floor at the lift-taker's rescue, who rushes out while mi jung was short of hissing at him. but before she could even throw a vulgarity at him under her breath, she spots the guest at the security's counter.

"...i'll hand it to her when she comes in!"

"don't bother!" mi jung interrupts the party of two. "morning, mr yoon."

"oh! ms choi! this is-"

"she's not coming in today," mi jung squints at the guest, glancing at the thermal flask sitting on the security counter. "so you bring it home. whatever it is."

"is it because of sang hyuk?" hyunjae frowns, turning to face mi jung, who frowns upon the realisation that he was there.

"what were you doing here last night? didn't i tell you to stay out of their business?"

"i was told sang hyuk would be coming and hyungwon told me to come-"

"the kid told you to come?" mi jung offers a smile of disbelief. "you realise you're just using him as an excuse? you know juyeon would've highly likely shown up to fetch her after work and you still came?"

hyunjae grits his teeth so hard, she can see his hind jaw tighten.

"you think you're better than him, don't you? you think he doesn't deserve her."

"i watched her have a panic attack when she saw sang hyuk. i stayed and talked her into calming down, and i stayed to take care of her. with no strings attached!" with every 'i', hyunjae points to himself, a vein on his neck slowly popping out from under his skin as he resists the urge to cry and make a scene in public. "juyeon? juyeon didn't even know!"

hyunjae goes quiet and looks away, gulping and shutting his eyes for abit.

"of course i don't think juyeon deserves her. i was there when she thought she didn't need someone, and now that she realises she does, she goes to him?"

"she has always needed someone, so don't make it sound like all she had was you."

he cannot swallow the fact that he's not special. he cannot listen to her and convince himself that she already has someone to rely on, and it's not him. he clenches his fist, and melancholically takes the thermal flask from the counter.

"don't you dare bring it to her apartment!" mi jung calls after him, who stopped abruptly as he walks out of the building.

"and if i do?" he turns, showing her his side profile.

"then it's not my fault you're asking for a heartbreak."

hyunjae looks straight and contemplates it for a few seconds, then turns and continues walking.

"i'll take my chances."

mi jung groans exasperatedly, throwing her head backwards and rolling her eyes at the ceiling.

"uh... ms choi, do i need to put him on a ban? yesterday he came by in the evening and told me that he had an appointment with ms hwang and he also brought flowers so i thought it was fine."

"he brought flowers?" mi jung raises a brow at the security guard. "what kind?"

"ah. not too sure about that, actually. they are little pink, fluffy ones."

"peonies?" she lets out a soft whisper.

"yes! peonies! they were so pretty!"

she quietly turns back to look out the building, still recognising his back far away, walking down the street. "no need to put him on a ban. he's harmless."

mi jung bids the security guard goodbye, already stressed from the meeting with lee hyunjae. and as if it wasn't enough, she walks into the office floor only to find sang hyuk roaming about the staff's break area where framed pictures of the team had been hung up on the wall above some decor plants.

"don't think guests are allowed in this area," mi jung stands like a rock at the entrance to the break room, folding her arms across her chest. "get out."

he turns upon hearing her voice, smirk plastered to his face with his hands slid into his pocket. he was in a blazer and his briefcase hung from a strap over his shoulder, but he complies and slowly strolls towards the door, eyes still reluctant to leave the pictures.

"she seems happy here."

"she was," refusing to budge, mi jung forces sang hyuk to stop right infront of her. "until you decided to come ruin whatever she had going for herself."

"why would what i'm doing be considered 'ruining'?" he leans back on his hips and innocently tilts his head. "i'm bringing business, no?"

"any other business would've been better than you knocking on our office door."

he scoffs and looks down at his feet, then looks back up and his smile vanishes. "choi mi jung... i'm not here for you. i'm here for her, and you can stay out of it unless you wanna lose your job."

"i would literally drop this job if i could find something else i like better that pays better and wants me," mi jung squints and rambles. "i don't know why you think that was an appropriate threat, but!"

a lone finger runs into his shoulder as she takes a step forward, looking up at him. "if it's a threat anybody should get, it's you. i don't know why your big ol' brain cannot process the fact that you could've been charged with harassment but i'll put it into simpler terms for you: seol eun is the reason why you're not in jail, so be grateful and back the fuck off."

"don't think that's how my organising logs officer should be talking to me."

"you brought a non-work matter into a work environment. i don't think your logs officer telling you the truth is questionable."

sang hyuk smiles and nods subtly. "so tell me about her new boy toys. i understand she has two."

"literally, why would i?" mi jung frowns. "go wait in the guest lounge. our team will meet you at the stipulated time."

"aw, come on! i'll find out anyway, so why not you do the honors and-"

before he can finish, mi jung turns around and shoves her forearm against his neck, backing him up against the corridor's wall and glaring up at him.

"you stay away from her or i will snap your neck myself. you're the reason why she cannot live the life she used to live, and you have the cheek to come back here... saying you're bringing business?"

she huffs, tightening her grip on his collar. he scoffs and struggles for a moment, confident that he can get her off his neck, but she shoves him back even more. he doesn't know mi jung's parents had her and mi young sent to a martial arts school for more than a decade back when they were younger.

"believe me when i say this - i will rip your balls out myself if i have to because you obviously aren't man enough to accept that she's moved on, despite her daily life being plagued by you. you're already stuck in her head like a parasite, so you don't deserve to be anywhere near her in reality."

"ooh," he bites down on his bottom lip. "it's a fiesty one w-"

she forcefully shoves him back, then swiftly knees him in the crotch. with a harsh hiss, he gathers his palms on his groin as his face reddens. mi jung takes a step back, a lack of emotion on her face as she watches him groan in pain.

"i'd stay to talk more sense into you but i don't think that brain of yours works all that well anymore, especially since you seem to think with your balls."

and with that, mi jung turns on her heels and strolls down the corridor back into the cubicle area, leaving him behind and clutching the wall for support.

juyeon carefully pulls a few books out from the boxes stacked in the corner of her room, gently pushing them into the shelves above her working desk. he can hear the running water from the shower and smell the remnants of the fried chicken he had ordered home.

he spent the whole day with her, listening to her talk about her craziest clients, how she grew so close to hyungwon, the early days of meeting mi jung.

juyeon hadn't noticed he was smiling to himself as he recounts how comfortable she seemed slotted up in the gap between his arm adjacent to his chest. her hair flowered all around the pillows, and they smelled like her - though now they kind of smell like him too.

he looks up from her desk upon hearing the distant rumble of thunder and out the glass door of her room. it leads to the balcony, where he lets himself out onto and he sucks in a deep breath. he can smell the rain and the wind combs through his hair, eyes scanning the cloudy night sky.

ding dong.

"i'll get it," he shouts, unsure if she even heard the doorbell. juyeon doesn't really think twice - it's a condominium. you need to be living here to have access in the building.

so he opens it with a polite smile, but it fades quickly into a soft state of confusion.

"hi. is there... anything i can help you with? seol eun is in the bathroom right now, so."

hyunjae blinks twice, then looks down at his hands where he's holding the same thermal flask from morning. "i... thought she could do better with some chicken soup. but it's been in the flask since morning so it might not be all that hot any more."

juyeon looks at hyunjae who lifts the flask up and offers it to him. he wants to take it and hide it in a corner so she never finds it, never drinks it. but he can't say 'no'.

"of course," juyeon responds quietly with a gentle nod, reaching for the flask and hugging it to his body. "is there anything else you need?"

he can see that hyunjae is thinking. he wants to stay, see her and ask her if she's okay. juyeon is an obstacle he doesn't want to step on.

"no," hyunjae looks away and slides his hands into his pockets, offering a small smile. "tell seol eun i send my regards."

"ah, what about the flask when she's done? how will she return it?"

"she doesn't need to. tell her she can keep it if she ever wanted to bring soup or tea into work."

juyeon turns slightly, giving her kitchen a quick sweep. no thermal flasks or bottles in sight.

"sure," juyeon nods, watching the other turn on his heels and enter the lift that was still on this level. "goodnight."

"goodnight."

and as the lift doors close, juyeon closes hers, still hugging the flask to his side.

"who was that?"

he looks up as he turns, palm flying up to hold the flask. "uh... well."

seol eun raises a curious brow first, then she squints. "did my mom just drop by?"

"no! no," juyeon shakes his head, walking around the corner and towards the kitchen. he takes a pot from the dish rack, setting it on the stove and loosening the cap on the flask. "it's... from your friend."

"friend?" she frowns again, coming around with her hair between the ends of her towel as she dries it. "mi jung doesn't have access to the building."

she peers over his shoulder, watching the chicken soup load into the pot. "neither does she know how to cook."

juyeon turns the stove on and covers the pot. seol eun winces to herself upon the realisation.

"juyeon... i- i didn't ask him to-"

"i know you didn't," he leans back against the counter top with his hands gripping the edge. "but it'll be a lie to say that he's putting up a good fight. for you. he's going out of his way to get things you like and take care of you even when he doesn't need to."

seol eun swallows and looks down at her feet. "i just... i don't know what to do with him. he already knows you and i are... kind of a thing."

juyeon nods, then pushes himself off the edge of the counter. "if he's doing this the way i think he's doing it, then he won't stop until we get married. some men are like that and i think we're dealing with one over here," he nods to the pot. "look, all we have to do is keep this up and stay committed to one another and then when the day comes... either i get down on one knee or he gives up... then it'll be over, hm?"

juyeon's eyes soften as he looks down at her, palms on her shoulders and thumb caressing her cheek. seol eun sighs, nodding into the warmth of his hand.

"we'll have the soup and then how about we go out for a walk?" he tilts his head, offering her a small smile. "are you fit for that? i mean, we've been cooped up in here the whole day, i think it'd be nice if we got some fresh air."

"we don't have to have the soup if you don't want to," seol eun shakes her head and shoves herself into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around him. "it's weird, isn't it?"

"nah, he took the time to make it, we can't just throw it out."

seol eun tightens her hold, and he wraps both arms around her shoulders. "i'm sorry this is happening. if i could undo what happened with him, i would."

"saying that now doesn't change anything. it's okay, what's done is done, hm? anyway, i think the soup's warmed up enough to have, don't think we'd want it piping hot."

she can hear his heart through his shirt before he holds her shoulders upright, leaning down for a peck on her forehead before he turns to the stove and lifts the pot lid.

hyunjae leans back against the basketball post, pulling his hood off his sweaty hair and huffing as he rolls the ball under his feet. he rests his head against the metal, inhaling the scent of the impending rain and looking up at the purple clouds.

he looks down at his hands, veins jutting out from under his skin and slightly red from bouncing the ball on his own, but he reminisces the warmth he wishes he could have back. the warmth from her hands and her body and the scent of her bed the night he stayed after meeting sang hyuk.

if he knew that was his last, he would've never left.

hyunjae sniffles, using his sleeve to rub his eye. as he stands, he stretches his back, yawning a little with the ball now in his hands. but distant laughter catches his ears, so he remains still as the court lights shut off and leave him in the dark. the fluorescent lights from the closest lift lobby draw silhouettes around the pair that just exited, hand in hand and her hair in the wind.

his eyes track them to the little garden and fountain they have out near the entrance, his feet instinctively taking him to the corner of the court just so he could watch them.

a gentle rumble of the thunder cues the both of them to look up, and hyunjae can vaguely hear juyeon tell her they should go home, but of course, seol eun shakes her head and holds his hands, like she was holding hyunjae's heart in hers.

within seconds, it starts to drizzle, and hyunjae can hear their distant laughs and chuckles and then his heart hits the floor when juyeon presses a kiss to the back of her hand.

the greenish-yellow light from the fountain and garden lights create something that looked straight out of the movie, but he wasn't the main character, no.

seol eun was the damsel in distress and that was her prince she was prancing about in the rain with. he was just a commoner who had a crush on her.

the rain kisses his hair through his hood, almost like crocodile tears from the heavens. the water seeps into his skin, turning him cold unlike his hot tears amidst the cool rain water on his face.

but his pride won't fail him. he grits his teeth and tears himself away from the sight, and rushes off in the direction of his apartment.

juyeon's hair is stuck to his forehead as he twirls seol eun around, hand above her head and her hair beginning to wet. he wonders for a moment if he should stop it, bring her home and make her have a hot bath then tuck her into bed and hold her in his arms.

but his heart is warm and happy when he can see the rain seep through her teeth and wet her lips, and her eyes are folded into thin, curved crescents.

the world slows down for a moment, and juyeon can't help himself from holding her face when he finds her staring at him. on impulse, he lowers his head and slots his lips between hers, freezing the moment all too entirely.

he pulls back after a few seconds, eyes darting between hers in a bid to search for any discomfort.

"please be mine," he whispers, pushing her wet hair behind her ears. "you... have my heart in your hands, and i'll do anything to make sure you're happy with that."

seol eun sucks her lips between her teeth, nodding slowly before crying. the response lights a grin up on juyeon's face, and he pulls her into a tight hug with the rain still pouring all over their faces.

seol eun frowns with a tight smile on her face, arms wrapped around juyeon's shoulders. she looks up, forgetting for a moment that it's raining.

the rain kisses her hair through juyeon's hands on her head, almost like a celebratory ceremony from the heavens. the water seeps into her skin, turning her cold unlike her hot tears amidst the cool rain water on her face.

she wonders for a moment, then stops.

i am juyeon's.

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